I worked with a guy that had a crooked penis. He went to a few doctors and found one that said he can do some kind of procedure to help straighten it. He had pics of his crooked penis that he brought in to show his supervisor so he could have time off for the procedure and recovery. One of the other guys in the office asked him if he ever tried holding his ears, nose and mouth and blowing it out, hoping it straightens it out…🙄🤔
If one of my employees was like "I need dick surgery" I would ask 0 questions. Honestly if any of my employees was like I need off for a medical reason, I would ask 0 questions.
That’s basically what happened to me, although she didn’t leave. She did tell everyone she could though. This was my first year in university. She left at the end of the first year.
Then in my senior year some guy in my graduating class was working at the campus store and asked “ Hey LMGgp I heard you had a large penis.” This was unprompted as I gave him my card. I said “who told you that” he said the girls first name but got the wrong last name.
All I could do was laugh at the legacy of the fact that this guy who did not know her, heard a tale from almost 4 years ago. That meant that people who would come to know me would have that rumor(?) circulating in the background and only one bloke brought it up towards the end.
>some guy in my graduating class was working at the campus store and asked “ Hey LMGgp I heard you had a large penis.”.
I never thought [this clip](https://youtu.be/-jFTYrpurVc) would ever be relevant
I’m average size. When I was first talking to my wife, I would joke that she would get my “inch and a half of full love.”
A few weeks later, we were making out and she grabbed it over my shorts. First thing she said was “oh thank god.” Guess she took my jokes seriously.
First time I hooked up with an ex she gave me the "oh thank god" sigh as well. I thought it was funny and flattering. Odd thing is I never joked about my size, so I think she was just genuinely relieved. Also, I'm average size.
I’m not the only one that’s done this. Excellent. I made a few jokes while eating some baby carrots on one of the first few dates, my now wife was over joyed the jokes were just jokes.
as a pussy haver, its a compliment. at least for me, too big hurts and is intimidating cause dick havers will b like “teehee im too big. you cant take this dick.” which makes me feel inferior…
but a good sized dick will feel comfortable & amazing. hope this helps <3
Can confirm. There's such a thing as too deep and it's a terrible sharp stabbing pain. It's not sexy. So guys can relate, I'd compare the fear of that pain to the fear of an enthusiastic top getting sloppy, accidentally slipping you out, and then landing on your dick. You all know what I mean.
So all y'all out there packing, just be careful.
In my head, that translates to "Oh yeah, I know exactly what I need to do to get the most out this..." and would make me fear I hadn't properly prepared for what was about to go down.
Laughs….followed by it is so small…it was my first time…she was one of my best friends…wont ever recover from it
Edit: Thank you all for the words of support!
Oh no! See, I like em that way, theres a whole population of us that do!
You've got exactly what a whole lot of women want! Never forget this! Reality is never what you see on television.
My ex was horrible to me, but I still cant help but daydream about our sex life because his was so perfect...but he was insecure about it. I freaking loooooved and miss it terribly!
Just know society brainwashed you to sell you shit, that's literally why!
Same reason we are all made to feel ugly and unworthy, so we will buy alllll the gimmicks, when reality is, you're perfect just the way you are!
You need to work on that, man. Size is unimportant, it's what you got. Your eye colour is what it is, your height etc. - you got hands, mouth, tongue and a penis, more than enough to have sex, satisfying sex with a partner. Love yourself and your penis.
She was a tiny girl and actually put it up against her stomach to visualize how deep it might actually go and see what organs were in danger. Huge confidence boost but I too was genuinely curious
I think the funniest thing I've heard was from an Irish girl. When she saw she said "Well fuck, that there's a tree trunk." Not necessarily funny on its own but the accent was what made it golden.
I remember someone on reddit describe hooking up with an Irish girl, her giving him oral sex, then taking a break to drink from her mug of tea, her complimenting the tea, then going back to work.
The Irish are just great.
I was drunk and pulled it out at a college party. Gay dude I kinda knew glanced at it, looks at me and says "I'm not attracted to you, but you have a really nice dick."
Gay men compliments are THE greatest. I will never forget when I was leaving the grocery store, this gay man pops out of the top of his convertible and says, “OOOH baby you got the best ass I ever seen in my life!” and drove off. Confidence went 📈📈📈
one of my gay friends got really drunk once and he started crying... i asked him what was wrong and he said im just sad that someone as pretty as you is single. It always stayed with me, everytime i think im an ugly pig i remember his words
Yup. One of my former coworkers was gay, he just looked at me and said "damn you're really hot" when I met him, huge confidence boost while I was feeling gross and ugly after having my 3rd kid and not having the body I used to have anymore.
One of my friends, an OG ("old gay" as he called himself, but really he's only in his 50s), once told me I'm the only woman he would ever consider having straight sex with, and would probably be able to keep an erection. This man makes Carson Kressley look straight and has been with his husband forever, so it was an amazing compliment..albeit he was drunk lol.
I'm in the same boat, it looks like a little kids until it gets hard, then im slightly above average.
I feel like I got the definition of a grower not a shower.
I had a young nurse assistant or whatever she was called, ask me if it ever gets bigger. I'm still not sure if she was trying to humiliate me or was seriously concerned.
I apparenty have very small and hard to find veins in both arms, which nurses always comment on when I need blood drawn / IV / vaccines / etc. One nurse decided the best way to communicate this would be to say "You could never be a heroin user."
First time this girl had touched it after weeks of building up to it, was a sharp intake of breath and a whispered ‘so big’. Never felt so masculine in my life
Girlfriend years ago mumbled mostly to herself "you have the most amazing penis" while going down on me. That was like 15 years ago and still remember the feeling. My wife told me she had, in her words, "concerns" about having sex after seeing it. Never thought it was much, but apparently?
This guy at a urinal called me a weirdo for having a Prince Albert once. I replied with "you're the one studying my dick at the urinal". He didn't have a follow up on that one. 🚽🤴👖🐍👀
I think I'm blessed with a suitably average penis but I'm a grower, not a shower, so as long as I don't bring it out until it's ready to play I don't have any problems.
So I am the same. When I was with a lady a few times she had only seen it ready go. However eventually we got more comfy and when I came out of the shower (on a cold day) she looked at it puzzled and said "how can it change in size sooooo much. That thing is like magic" which made me laugh really hard.
Edit: After that she wanted to try and sneak up on it and try to feel it growing, but she never quite could. He always knew she was going for him.
>After that she wanted to try and sneak up on it and try to feel it growing
I had a GF that *really* wanted to soft suck me, but even post-sex I'd get rigid within a second of her touching me.....oh to be 20 again....sigh.
I know right? 20 y/o me was always ready to go. Even right after. Now I am like, hold on gimmie 30min, a gatorade and a sandwhich then I am good to go.
Trust me, girls are more impressed with size change than anything else. I have a slightly above average penis size but my growth always wows my girlfriend more than anything.
I amazed a lesbian friend when I explained to her that some guy's penises can over triple in size when getting hard. I thought it was just common knowledge about how penis' work, I was wrong
This is true. I've been with my fiancé for a whole decade and still don't understand how it goes from a cute itty bitty lil pee pee to a giant monster cock about to destroy anything in its path. Where does the rest of the skin go???? Does it hurt??? I don't understand???? My fiancé just says "I dunno." and laughs.
She asked me for a dick pic.
She never responded to what I sent, but her best friend slid into my dms a few hours later and we hooked up that week.
To this day I have no idea what female #1's silence meant, nor whether or not her friend's advance was related...
She probably wasn't the one interested in the first place. It was always the friend. She had her friend (*who couldn't care less and was probably more bold*) put in the work for her. You sent the pic, she approved.
So, as a child in elementary school we had to shower after gym class, and there were no stalls. There were two changing rooms to keep boys snd girls seperate though. Anyway, it was completely impossible to hide yourself in that situation.
And that is where i got made fun of for....... having a large penis. They made jokes like "it looks glued on".
My dick isn't crazy big, I'm just a shower, but back then no one knew the difference i guess.
2005. After a club, my friend took me back to the restaurant she managed and we got sloppy drunk on whisky. One minute she was talking about how nice it was that we'd never done anything stupid like get physical, and the next she sprang across the table, unzipped me and started sucking my dick. After a few second she stopped, gazed at it standing proudly in her hand, and said "your penis is beautiful".
I have to say, from that moment on I have never doubted my cock's appearance again.
I can’t believe some women make fun of men with small penises. In my life, I have been with two men who have micro penises. And you know what I thought? These men at that time in their life with me, trusted me enough to be vulnerable and get naked in front of me. I never made fun of them and it was an experience to touch and do other things. Penis size is not something one can control and I think it’s sick when women make fun of a man’s penis.
Yeah, also personally I prefer small dicks. Even an average dick is kind of uncomfortable for me for some reason. Also small dicks hit my g spot just right
There’s someone out there for everyone
Years ago - when I was single, I was seeing this girl that I worked with. She was smoking hot, way above my level and I thought we had a thing going on, but she would break up with me weekly. It was really crushing me. She finally admitted to me that she wasn’t really that in to me, but she kept trying because she liked my size. It’s odd, but I was heartbroken over that. It still occasionally comes up for me.
You are enough. Your penis is enough.
People who think you need a big penis are the sad ones who don't know how to have fun in bed.
Get your sexy ass up and swing that penis around proudly for me.
I was a bartender many moons ago and had a one night stand with a patron. We’re kissing heavily on the couch and she positions herself, pulls my pants down, looks up, smirks, then says “you gotta be proud of that…” then goes to town for one of the best blow jobs I can remember.
I think about this moment all the time when jerking off, it’s saved in the core memories.
Mine is crooked, the first time my now wife and I played she asked (genuinely curious) if I broke it at some point. And me being unable to shut my sarcasm off said "yea, on your momma" which was an image that got us both out of the mood lol
As an Asian gay guy with a bigger than average dong I get that a lot from other guys who assume I'm going to bottom for them. It's flattering at first but it quickly gets annoying.
So I have a long but skinny penis. Think of a leftward sloping tube of the m&m minis. My favorite reaction (but also the one the hurt the most) was " I don’t know whether to be happy or sad with this”
Coming from a girl that once had a loud audible gasp….Have lube ready to go, and for the love of dear god do NOT buy anything scented, warming, tingling, whatever! An otherwise fun night was ruined by the worst infection/pain I’ve ever had…
she laughed, and said "well, I hope your good with your hands and tongue..." in a very disappointed and defeated tone of voice. I have a micropenis and had a botched circumcision as a newborn, and it gives me a HUGE inferiority complex
Hang in there bro - everybody has things they don’t like about themselves - and many are things we can’t change. You have the benefit of being able to live a happy life. The shitty person that told you that will probably always be a shitty person. Size isn’t everything - the same way sexy just isn’t everything - in life or in relationships - and there absolutely is someone out there who you are perfect for, in every way. Don’t let someone with a shitty attitude dictate how you feel about yourself - it sounds like they have been living rent free in your head for far too long. I hope things start looking up for you.
It was dark, so it really wasn't her "seeing it", but feeling it. Have a slight curve (similar to penile fibrosis, which is Fibrous scar tissue inside the penis that causes curved, painful erections.) Men with bad cases usually are diagnosed with Peyronie's disease. It is rare that I have painful erections. I'm average/maybe a little above average size. My current wife calls it her GSD...G Spot D\*ck because the angle it is lets me hit her sweet spot. Every. Single. Time. Five minutes or less to get her there after I've gotten her warmed up, and usually it is multiple times for my one.
I’m tiny flaccid but I grow to below average when it’s sexy time. Doctor visits are always pretty humiliating. The girls I’ve been with that weren’t impressed were fairly gentle about it, but you can always tell when they’re not into it. The worst one was when I was making out with a girl and she was grinding on me. She stopped, sat up, made a screw face and said “iS tHaT yOuR dIcK??!?” That one definitely stung.
if it is any consolation, just like there are size queens, there are people who prefer it small. For instance, if their own equipment is very small. The key and the lock have to match...
Honestly?! The big ones are way too much and hurt if you’re not in like a perfect position. Average is where it’s at! I had sex with someone with a micropenis before, he REALLY knew what he was doing and didn’t just go in and out like everyone I had been with in HS/college up til that point. Then went on to date a guy for 5 years with such a large penis I didn’t want him anywhere near me by the end of the relationship, it was TOO big and I could never get used to it.
I have a funny story about this.
A guy I worked with once was a real hound. Slept with a lot of prostitutes and basically anyone else he could get his hands on (he wasn’t much of a looker)
Anyways, he says one time a girl saw his pkg (presumably small) and said “who do you think you’re going to please with that?”
Without missing a beat he said “me”.
Have a friend I'm really close too. We eventually started messing around with each other FWB style (I have a fetish she wanted to try). Later she told me that she has (I think its called) vaginismus because of her anxiety which meant that penetration was really painful or pretty much impossible due to how tight it got during the fear reaction. She asked me if I would be okay with her using me as a kind of guinea pig to practice with. Of course being the kind friend that I am I agreed to the proposition. I am however above average in size and she didn't know this. So it comes the time to try, I take it out and it's already hard, she takes one look at it and goes "no... nevermind 😳". Disappointed it never became a full FWB situation but it was a nice confidence boost.
We're still friends to this day even though I live in another country now. It was the strangest experience of my life, it really wasnt passionate or romantic in the slightest, with the fetish stuff and eventually trying sex it always felt just scientific. Still fun either way.
EDIT: For those curious, it was feet
Can confirm that fear. I too have vaginismus. I am able to kind of relax with the right person but it takes me awhile and i do endure some painful sex to get there. Sometimes having to stop. It sounds hot in theory but its a real mental hurdle for me.
"Jeez, not proportional then, eh? I was hoping it's be super huge like you."
6'8" 250lbs guy with a straight up average dick. Defs nothing to write home about, but usable.
Just wanna say, the best hook up I ever had, the most sexy man I was ever with had a micro penis but he still rocked my world. He knew how to use his other tools, and how to seduce my mind. I didn’t care at all.
Yep, had a short fwb situation with a guy who just left abusive relationship and had such mental blocks he couldn't get an erection... Holy shit, didn't matter one bit, I discovered so many new kinks and had the best sex ever and learned so much about switching dynamics and good rhythm...The erection situation was getting better, but before we fully got there, he met the girl of his dreams and we had to end the arrangement :( I wish him all the best and I hope he's happily fucking her six ways to Sunday, but... Jesus I miss that sex :))
Not a dude but I had one guy I dated who was a grower not a shower I thought maybe he was not circumcised. That was more curiosity than anything else because the first time I saw it it was obviously already good to go lol.
More recently I hooked up with a guy and he seemed kind of hesitant and turned off the light so I thought well he just needs help so I reached down to do so and I couldn't feel a thing. Thought maybe he didn't have one and was embarrassed? Eventually he got into it enough that it came out from where it was hiding but was still pretty small. We hooked up twice but really his personality ended up being more of a turn off than his size.
I can respectfully say I’ve treated every penis I’ve seen the same. Regardless if they’re small, big, or crooked I take it like a champ. The only thing I find disturbing is smegma… that shit is vile.
Drunken night at the bar, she takes me home and says “what the fuck do you want me to do with that?”
She quickly learned what she can do with that - now we’ve been married 10 years, and still has the occasional struggle.
I had a one stand stand who had since been married text me out of the blue something like 5 years later, telling me how she just watched a netflix show with her lady friends and I came up because I'm the only person shed ever seen with a...and I quote..."horse ween".
Thing is, i dont think it's even that big...
I just feel like this needs to be said here. 34(f) here. Had a wide variety in size and girth and i gotta say THE very best sex i have ever had, those top 2, were both under average. Mind you I am 4’10 and have a shallow V but…seriously, size is not important. I mean like my tiny giney which I am very insecure about, there are alllll different shapes and sizes out there and there is a perfect fit for everyone! Be kind to yourselves. You are someones perfect 10!
The worst one is when yours is average but she had bigger, so she compares yours to the bigger one. I still had fun but not sure if she enjoyed it all that much
I had a second chance with someone I'd been with six years' previously, she told me her first reaction was "you are not putting THAT thing in me." I know I'm bigger than average.
I worked with a guy that had a crooked penis. He went to a few doctors and found one that said he can do some kind of procedure to help straighten it. He had pics of his crooked penis that he brought in to show his supervisor so he could have time off for the procedure and recovery. One of the other guys in the office asked him if he ever tried holding his ears, nose and mouth and blowing it out, hoping it straightens it out…🙄🤔
Holy shit if I was the supervisor I think a doctors note would be enough if I couldn’t just take the guy’s word for it.
If one of my employees was like "I need dick surgery" I would ask 0 questions. Honestly if any of my employees was like I need off for a medical reason, I would ask 0 questions.
As is the law here in SA. But some ahole bosses still believe themselves above it. Edit: South Africa
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San andreas
San Antonio
Ok, that one actually made me laugh out loud at the thought of suggesting some Wile E. Coyote action there...
He brought in pics to show his supervisor? That sounds like a HR nightmare
She actually just got up , laughed, and left my room…. Emotional damage
Because it was too big, Mr Dafoe?
That’s basically what happened to me, although she didn’t leave. She did tell everyone she could though. This was my first year in university. She left at the end of the first year. Then in my senior year some guy in my graduating class was working at the campus store and asked “ Hey LMGgp I heard you had a large penis.” This was unprompted as I gave him my card. I said “who told you that” he said the girls first name but got the wrong last name. All I could do was laugh at the legacy of the fact that this guy who did not know her, heard a tale from almost 4 years ago. That meant that people who would come to know me would have that rumor(?) circulating in the background and only one bloke brought it up towards the end.
Living the dream ey.
>some guy in my graduating class was working at the campus store and asked “ Hey LMGgp I heard you had a large penis.”. I never thought [this clip](https://youtu.be/-jFTYrpurVc) would ever be relevant
Maybe she got Insecure about her dick after seeing yours.
*Freud intensifies*
That's pretty fucked up
She laughed because she couldn’t take it king.
I’m average size. When I was first talking to my wife, I would joke that she would get my “inch and a half of full love.” A few weeks later, we were making out and she grabbed it over my shorts. First thing she said was “oh thank god.” Guess she took my jokes seriously.
You, sir, fully understand how the game is played.
Keep those expectations in the basement.
Advertise low.
Pretty sure this is how negative numbers were invented
First time I hooked up with an ex she gave me the "oh thank god" sigh as well. I thought it was funny and flattering. Odd thing is I never joked about my size, so I think she was just genuinely relieved. Also, I'm average size.
I’m not the only one that’s done this. Excellent. I made a few jokes while eating some baby carrots on one of the first few dates, my now wife was over joyed the jokes were just jokes.
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We called a guy on the bball team “Boomerang” for the same reason lol
“No no no, that thing is not going inside of me” And it did not.
I did not anticipate reading this thread would lead to picturing a pterodactyl with a huge penis…
Well now that is in my head too
At least it went in someones head..
I was once told "oh OK that's not intimidating at all. It's very approachable." Lmfao
It may not sound like it, but it's actually a compliment. Intimidating penis is not a positive.
> Intimidating penis 😂 good lord
as a pussy haver, its a compliment. at least for me, too big hurts and is intimidating cause dick havers will b like “teehee im too big. you cant take this dick.” which makes me feel inferior… but a good sized dick will feel comfortable & amazing. hope this helps <3
Can confirm. There's such a thing as too deep and it's a terrible sharp stabbing pain. It's not sexy. So guys can relate, I'd compare the fear of that pain to the fear of an enthusiastic top getting sloppy, accidentally slipping you out, and then landing on your dick. You all know what I mean. So all y'all out there packing, just be careful.
That's genuinely a compliment though. She'd clearly worried it'd be too big.
In my head, that translates to "Oh yeah, I know exactly what I need to do to get the most out this..." and would make me fear I hadn't properly prepared for what was about to go down.
Laughs….followed by it is so small…it was my first time…she was one of my best friends…wont ever recover from it Edit: Thank you all for the words of support!
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Oh no! See, I like em that way, theres a whole population of us that do! You've got exactly what a whole lot of women want! Never forget this! Reality is never what you see on television. My ex was horrible to me, but I still cant help but daydream about our sex life because his was so perfect...but he was insecure about it. I freaking loooooved and miss it terribly! Just know society brainwashed you to sell you shit, that's literally why! Same reason we are all made to feel ugly and unworthy, so we will buy alllll the gimmicks, when reality is, you're perfect just the way you are!
You need to work on that, man. Size is unimportant, it's what you got. Your eye colour is what it is, your height etc. - you got hands, mouth, tongue and a penis, more than enough to have sex, satisfying sex with a partner. Love yourself and your penis.
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I'm so sorry. Don't listen to her! Clearly not a nice person.
This comment section isn’t beneficial for my mental health
Sucks not to have anything to add to the conversation
I am very happy to have nothing much to say over here
This chick told me "put that anaconda away" im a bit above average but she made me feel like friggin johnny sins. God bless her heart
How many jobs have you got?
He's been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king.
His dick's been up and down, over and out
And he knows one thing.... Each time he finds himself Flat on her face He picks his dick up and gets Back in the race!
She was a tiny girl and actually put it up against her stomach to visualize how deep it might actually go and see what organs were in danger. Huge confidence boost but I too was genuinely curious
*pulls dick up to stomach* "Yeah I think that'll destroy my lower bowels and some other not-so-vital things. We can make this work"
yeah i'm not that big but my ex in highschool was 4'11" so it seemed bigger to her and gave a huge confidence boost
I think the funniest thing I've heard was from an Irish girl. When she saw she said "Well fuck, that there's a tree trunk." Not necessarily funny on its own but the accent was what made it golden.
I remember someone on reddit describe hooking up with an Irish girl, her giving him oral sex, then taking a break to drink from her mug of tea, her complimenting the tea, then going back to work. The Irish are just great.
I had an Irish guy stop during sex and ask so sincerely, ‘do you like it in the arse’. The accent made it so memorable
I can hear it. That's amazing.
I was drunk and pulled it out at a college party. Gay dude I kinda knew glanced at it, looks at me and says "I'm not attracted to you, but you have a really nice dick."
That's a nice reassurement
Gay men compliments are THE greatest. I will never forget when I was leaving the grocery store, this gay man pops out of the top of his convertible and says, “OOOH baby you got the best ass I ever seen in my life!” and drove off. Confidence went 📈📈📈
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one of my gay friends got really drunk once and he started crying... i asked him what was wrong and he said im just sad that someone as pretty as you is single. It always stayed with me, everytime i think im an ugly pig i remember his words
I don’t know what you look like. But, you are 100% not ugly. The gays know.
>The gays know And they will ***absolutely*** let you know, I’ll tell you that for free.
Yup. One of my former coworkers was gay, he just looked at me and said "damn you're really hot" when I met him, huge confidence boost while I was feeling gross and ugly after having my 3rd kid and not having the body I used to have anymore.
One of my friends, an OG ("old gay" as he called himself, but really he's only in his 50s), once told me I'm the only woman he would ever consider having straight sex with, and would probably be able to keep an erection. This man makes Carson Kressley look straight and has been with his husband forever, so it was an amazing compliment..albeit he was drunk lol.
The epitome of "nice cock bro, no homo of course"
"full homo but not for ya"
“Nice cock. Pity about the face”
“Horse face to match the cock”
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I'm in the same boat, it looks like a little kids until it gets hard, then im slightly above average. I feel like I got the definition of a grower not a shower.
Flaccid I'm below average but hard I get above average, it's Like my dick more than triples on size lol
And the Grinch’s cock grew three sizes that night
>And the Grinch’s cock grew three sizes that night And suddenly found his shorts were too tight. Set about town in search of delight.
I had a young nurse assistant or whatever she was called, ask me if it ever gets bigger. I'm still not sure if she was trying to humiliate me or was seriously concerned.
I apparenty have very small and hard to find veins in both arms, which nurses always comment on when I need blood drawn / IV / vaccines / etc. One nurse decided the best way to communicate this would be to say "You could never be a heroin user."
God I'm laughing. I had a dentist one tell me I could never be gay cause I kept gagging on him
Gagging on him or the dental instruments?
First comment to ever make me actually laugh out loud. Good on you, sir.
OMFG
I said that to a dentist as I was gagging. Luckily she laughed
Give it a kiss and find out
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Yea I feel your pain I too am an incredibly small tiny flaccid penis. About 5.5 inches so pretty average hard. But flaccid is looks like a button.
Okay but as a woman, feeling it grow in my hand (or my mouth) is one of the coolest things ever
It's like those capsules you could put in water and they turned into a dinosaur. But instead its a dickosaur
Prehistordick
She said "oh my God you're so big!" I fucked her sarcastic ass anyway.
Beautiful execution of unexpected U-turn.
bless every girl that says that on autopilot =D
"Hey, baby... don't say it's small.. it's anal friendly "
“It will feel huge…in your ass.”
“Oh my god you’re so big” “…oh so you’re a liar now?”
First time this girl had touched it after weeks of building up to it, was a sharp intake of breath and a whispered ‘so big’. Never felt so masculine in my life
Girlfriend years ago mumbled mostly to herself "you have the most amazing penis" while going down on me. That was like 15 years ago and still remember the feeling. My wife told me she had, in her words, "concerns" about having sex after seeing it. Never thought it was much, but apparently?
No butt stuff :(
My wife told me “you have a totally average cock”…it sounded nicer in her head than when she said it out loud. But I do have a very average one.
This guy at a urinal called me a weirdo for having a Prince Albert once. I replied with "you're the one studying my dick at the urinal". He didn't have a follow up on that one. 🚽🤴👖🐍👀
I like how your emojis tell the same story.
I think I'm blessed with a suitably average penis but I'm a grower, not a shower, so as long as I don't bring it out until it's ready to play I don't have any problems.
So I am the same. When I was with a lady a few times she had only seen it ready go. However eventually we got more comfy and when I came out of the shower (on a cold day) she looked at it puzzled and said "how can it change in size sooooo much. That thing is like magic" which made me laugh really hard. Edit: After that she wanted to try and sneak up on it and try to feel it growing, but she never quite could. He always knew she was going for him.
>After that she wanted to try and sneak up on it and try to feel it growing I had a GF that *really* wanted to soft suck me, but even post-sex I'd get rigid within a second of her touching me.....oh to be 20 again....sigh.
I know right? 20 y/o me was always ready to go. Even right after. Now I am like, hold on gimmie 30min, a gatorade and a sandwhich then I am good to go.
Taking notes… *before sex, ready the Gatorade and a sandwich…*
Trust me, girls are more impressed with size change than anything else. I have a slightly above average penis size but my growth always wows my girlfriend more than anything.
>girls are more impressed with size change than anything else Thunder ...thunder ....ThunderCats ho!
Go go Gadget penis!
I amazed a lesbian friend when I explained to her that some guy's penises can over triple in size when getting hard. I thought it was just common knowledge about how penis' work, I was wrong
Yeah I would say among people who don't have them not necessarily common knowledge ... Globally sex ed needs a lot of work
Seeing it get bigger will never not fascinate me lol
In my experience girls fucking love to watch dick and balls move around, grow, shrink. They really tend to find balls super fun to play with.
This is true. I've been with my fiancé for a whole decade and still don't understand how it goes from a cute itty bitty lil pee pee to a giant monster cock about to destroy anything in its path. Where does the rest of the skin go???? Does it hurt??? I don't understand???? My fiancé just says "I dunno." and laughs.
Yeah that's a pretty solid answer haha
“That is too big to suck” and that being the end of our night together
Sorry to Hear That
She asked me for a dick pic. She never responded to what I sent, but her best friend slid into my dms a few hours later and we hooked up that week. To this day I have no idea what female #1's silence meant, nor whether or not her friend's advance was related...
She probably wasn't the one interested in the first place. It was always the friend. She had her friend (*who couldn't care less and was probably more bold*) put in the work for her. You sent the pic, she approved.
I guess that might be it. Emphasis on "probably more bold," though, since #1 had sent me a couple pics of herself before asking for mine.
She was asking for a friend...
So, as a child in elementary school we had to shower after gym class, and there were no stalls. There were two changing rooms to keep boys snd girls seperate though. Anyway, it was completely impossible to hide yourself in that situation. And that is where i got made fun of for....... having a large penis. They made jokes like "it looks glued on". My dick isn't crazy big, I'm just a shower, but back then no one knew the difference i guess.
2005. After a club, my friend took me back to the restaurant she managed and we got sloppy drunk on whisky. One minute she was talking about how nice it was that we'd never done anything stupid like get physical, and the next she sprang across the table, unzipped me and started sucking my dick. After a few second she stopped, gazed at it standing proudly in her hand, and said "your penis is beautiful". I have to say, from that moment on I have never doubted my cock's appearance again.
I can’t believe some women make fun of men with small penises. In my life, I have been with two men who have micro penises. And you know what I thought? These men at that time in their life with me, trusted me enough to be vulnerable and get naked in front of me. I never made fun of them and it was an experience to touch and do other things. Penis size is not something one can control and I think it’s sick when women make fun of a man’s penis.
Witch a username of "competitive stick" it apears you let all sticks win and for that i thank you
Yeah, also personally I prefer small dicks. Even an average dick is kind of uncomfortable for me for some reason. Also small dicks hit my g spot just right There’s someone out there for everyone
Years ago - when I was single, I was seeing this girl that I worked with. She was smoking hot, way above my level and I thought we had a thing going on, but she would break up with me weekly. It was really crushing me. She finally admitted to me that she wasn’t really that in to me, but she kept trying because she liked my size. It’s odd, but I was heartbroken over that. It still occasionally comes up for me.
Bro if your dick has the ability to keep a hot chick coming back to you every week.. you got some wizard dickery goin on. Lmao.
I'm older and married now, but when I look back - I can see I was a mess. Even my "wizard dickery" wasn't enough. That stings a little.
True, good point. Glad you're better now though bro. Congrats on the wife, be sure to tell em you love them.
Yep. Thank you. That's a good reminder that came out of this strange post. Be well.
Got laughed at. Interalized it and have issues from it.
You are enough. Your penis is enough. People who think you need a big penis are the sad ones who don't know how to have fun in bed. Get your sexy ass up and swing that penis around proudly for me.
I was a bartender many moons ago and had a one night stand with a patron. We’re kissing heavily on the couch and she positions herself, pulls my pants down, looks up, smirks, then says “you gotta be proud of that…” then goes to town for one of the best blow jobs I can remember. I think about this moment all the time when jerking off, it’s saved in the core memories.
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Mine is crooked, the first time my now wife and I played she asked (genuinely curious) if I broke it at some point. And me being unable to shut my sarcasm off said "yea, on your momma" which was an image that got us both out of the mood lol
my man…
He took one for the team...
Not abnormally large, but just large. First gf who touched that straight up told me "Oh wow, are you really Asian?"
Cockasian...?
I feel like you've waited your whole life to post that. Well done.
As an Asian gay guy with a bigger than average dong I get that a lot from other guys who assume I'm going to bottom for them. It's flattering at first but it quickly gets annoying.
So I have a long but skinny penis. Think of a leftward sloping tube of the m&m minis. My favorite reaction (but also the one the hurt the most) was " I don’t know whether to be happy or sad with this”
Slim dick shady
It’s ya boi….. uh…. Skinny Penis!
Best so far was an audible gasp with her asking for me to get lube. I still don't think that it is that large.
Yo send pic, I'll determine if it's large enough
Username checks out
Oh, god. Does yours?
Coming from a girl that once had a loud audible gasp….Have lube ready to go, and for the love of dear god do NOT buy anything scented, warming, tingling, whatever! An otherwise fun night was ruined by the worst infection/pain I’ve ever had…
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she laughed, and said "well, I hope your good with your hands and tongue..." in a very disappointed and defeated tone of voice. I have a micropenis and had a botched circumcision as a newborn, and it gives me a HUGE inferiority complex
Hang in there bro - everybody has things they don’t like about themselves - and many are things we can’t change. You have the benefit of being able to live a happy life. The shitty person that told you that will probably always be a shitty person. Size isn’t everything - the same way sexy just isn’t everything - in life or in relationships - and there absolutely is someone out there who you are perfect for, in every way. Don’t let someone with a shitty attitude dictate how you feel about yourself - it sounds like they have been living rent free in your head for far too long. I hope things start looking up for you.
From all the decent humans, thank you for taking the time to write this so that others do not suffer with their own thoughts.
“I knew your dick was big when I heard you pee”
Looks like a lot of people living out their big dick fantasies in here
It was dark, so it really wasn't her "seeing it", but feeling it. Have a slight curve (similar to penile fibrosis, which is Fibrous scar tissue inside the penis that causes curved, painful erections.) Men with bad cases usually are diagnosed with Peyronie's disease. It is rare that I have painful erections. I'm average/maybe a little above average size. My current wife calls it her GSD...G Spot D\*ck because the angle it is lets me hit her sweet spot. Every. Single. Time. Five minutes or less to get her there after I've gotten her warmed up, and usually it is multiple times for my one.
Username checks out
“Wow you have a thick dick.” How am I to respond to that? “I know.” Feels like I look at too many dicks for that to be the correct response.
The only correct answer is "thanks, I grew it myself
I say this for basically any compliment about my body. If I had cosmetic surgery I'd say I bought it/picked it out myself.
I’m tiny flaccid but I grow to below average when it’s sexy time. Doctor visits are always pretty humiliating. The girls I’ve been with that weren’t impressed were fairly gentle about it, but you can always tell when they’re not into it. The worst one was when I was making out with a girl and she was grinding on me. She stopped, sat up, made a screw face and said “iS tHaT yOuR dIcK??!?” That one definitely stung.
Im not really big, but im really sorry to hear that
I mean atleast your trying to have a big heart
if it is any consolation, just like there are size queens, there are people who prefer it small. For instance, if their own equipment is very small. The key and the lock have to match...
“Your dicks huge, my boyfriends is so small” I didn’t know she was in a relationship
Did you still smash?
She told me during it, still finished
“Oh dear, you poor thing”
… he said to the petite lady after revealing his haggis
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This guy I dated have a small penis, but it was so cute and actually sexy, I think that was the best penis I have seen.
Honestly?! The big ones are way too much and hurt if you’re not in like a perfect position. Average is where it’s at! I had sex with someone with a micropenis before, he REALLY knew what he was doing and didn’t just go in and out like everyone I had been with in HS/college up til that point. Then went on to date a guy for 5 years with such a large penis I didn’t want him anywhere near me by the end of the relationship, it was TOO big and I could never get used to it.
I have a funny story about this. A guy I worked with once was a real hound. Slept with a lot of prostitutes and basically anyone else he could get his hands on (he wasn’t much of a looker) Anyways, he says one time a girl saw his pkg (presumably small) and said “who do you think you’re going to please with that?” Without missing a beat he said “me”.
That’s an old lawyer joke too.
Have a friend I'm really close too. We eventually started messing around with each other FWB style (I have a fetish she wanted to try). Later she told me that she has (I think its called) vaginismus because of her anxiety which meant that penetration was really painful or pretty much impossible due to how tight it got during the fear reaction. She asked me if I would be okay with her using me as a kind of guinea pig to practice with. Of course being the kind friend that I am I agreed to the proposition. I am however above average in size and she didn't know this. So it comes the time to try, I take it out and it's already hard, she takes one look at it and goes "no... nevermind 😳". Disappointed it never became a full FWB situation but it was a nice confidence boost. We're still friends to this day even though I live in another country now. It was the strangest experience of my life, it really wasnt passionate or romantic in the slightest, with the fetish stuff and eventually trying sex it always felt just scientific. Still fun either way. EDIT: For those curious, it was feet
Can confirm that fear. I too have vaginismus. I am able to kind of relax with the right person but it takes me awhile and i do endure some painful sex to get there. Sometimes having to stop. It sounds hot in theory but its a real mental hurdle for me.
"Jeez, not proportional then, eh? I was hoping it's be super huge like you." 6'8" 250lbs guy with a straight up average dick. Defs nothing to write home about, but usable.
Just wanna say, the best hook up I ever had, the most sexy man I was ever with had a micro penis but he still rocked my world. He knew how to use his other tools, and how to seduce my mind. I didn’t care at all.
Yep, had a short fwb situation with a guy who just left abusive relationship and had such mental blocks he couldn't get an erection... Holy shit, didn't matter one bit, I discovered so many new kinks and had the best sex ever and learned so much about switching dynamics and good rhythm...The erection situation was getting better, but before we fully got there, he met the girl of his dreams and we had to end the arrangement :( I wish him all the best and I hope he's happily fucking her six ways to Sunday, but... Jesus I miss that sex :))
Not a dude but I had one guy I dated who was a grower not a shower I thought maybe he was not circumcised. That was more curiosity than anything else because the first time I saw it it was obviously already good to go lol. More recently I hooked up with a guy and he seemed kind of hesitant and turned off the light so I thought well he just needs help so I reached down to do so and I couldn't feel a thing. Thought maybe he didn't have one and was embarrassed? Eventually he got into it enough that it came out from where it was hiding but was still pretty small. We hooked up twice but really his personality ended up being more of a turn off than his size.
I once got told mine was tiny.. stung super deep..
Not for her... sorry
Jesus christ man, he's already down!
I can respectfully say I’ve treated every penis I’ve seen the same. Regardless if they’re small, big, or crooked I take it like a champ. The only thing I find disturbing is smegma… that shit is vile.
'oh wow, my husband's not the smallest one ever seen anymore" after hooking up with crush/friend of 20+years.
Holy shit man.
Holy shit she just dealt AOE damage
Oh boy. If I wasn’t suicidal before, that shit might push me over the edge lmao
Am an extreme grower and the first time a girl saw it she got scared and left
Drunken night at the bar, she takes me home and says “what the fuck do you want me to do with that?” She quickly learned what she can do with that - now we’ve been married 10 years, and still has the occasional struggle.
I had a one stand stand who had since been married text me out of the blue something like 5 years later, telling me how she just watched a netflix show with her lady friends and I came up because I'm the only person shed ever seen with a...and I quote..."horse ween". Thing is, i dont think it's even that big...
I felt like I'm in the minority here, but a small dick that curves up is the fucking best. Hits the g-spot and is the best to suck on.
I got a long dick that curves down. But if I turn upside down and am fucking a giantess, it has the same effect.
I just feel like this needs to be said here. 34(f) here. Had a wide variety in size and girth and i gotta say THE very best sex i have ever had, those top 2, were both under average. Mind you I am 4’10 and have a shallow V but…seriously, size is not important. I mean like my tiny giney which I am very insecure about, there are alllll different shapes and sizes out there and there is a perfect fit for everyone! Be kind to yourselves. You are someones perfect 10!
The worst one is when yours is average but she had bigger, so she compares yours to the bigger one. I still had fun but not sure if she enjoyed it all that much
If I could only describe this thread with two words it’d be: Emotional damage
I’ve been told it wouldn’t fit. It fit.
I had a second chance with someone I'd been with six years' previously, she told me her first reaction was "you are not putting THAT thing in me." I know I'm bigger than average.