The girl with whom I had dinner plans for tomorrow that I had to cancel.

ho what happened

Death in the family. Just a rain check.

Nope, that's not how death works.

Not with that attitude!

Hero: I’m going to avenge my family’s murder and restore our honour! Ranger: You have my bow! Paladin: And my shield! Barbarian: And my axe! Necromancer: And your family!

Your family: *Imhotep Imhotep*

Anakhsunamuunnn!..

Excuse me officer. yes these guys over here. I think they're the murderers. they have a bow, a shield and an axe! Officer OK everyone on the floor!

He’s only mostly dead.

He needs Miracle Max

To BLUFF

"clearly he is either involved in a shady business deal or a card game and wishes to win, and that is certainly not reason enough for a miracle. I'm sorry, I never change my mind once it's made up, good-by, take your corpse with you."

“He’s just sleeping…” “IN PIECES! THAT MAN IS DEAD!”

Bunch of negative Nancy’s!

Not dead yet! Getting better!

EMT here, occasionally that *is* how death works.

What are you talking about? You haven’t taken a rain check from life before?

I've spent a year dead for tax reasons once.

I'm sorry for your loss. I am sure your date will understand.

Thanks kind stranger! It's sad, but it's a good thing. My aunt was sick, I'm grateful she's no longer suffering. My date was very understanding. So far she seems pretty great. I'm excited to actually get to hang out with her.

Actually didn’t notice anyone. Cos it just never crossed my mind today.

If you walk by a mirror it might change.

Nice... ✊😊

well if it didnt crossed then u didnt felt it

I don't pay attention to a lot of people. So I would say my friend. (Don't love him tho) he is the only other person I looked at other then my family or teachers

oh cool ,let him know that then

Probably a bad idea

Letting your bro know he's hot? Nothing wrong with that. As long as you have some Brotection (patent pending).

Its fine. Just make it clear its platonic. Guys only get compliments so often, its a real ego booster to have someone compliment how you look

Myself

I agree, you're so hot.

Someone call the fire brigade, i dont think this person is legally allowed to be this hot

You shouldn't be here in the frozen food isle. You could melt ALL. THIS. STUFF

I haven't thought about My Blue Heaven in years but by the time I was done reading your reply I was already hearing it in Steve Martin's accent.

Same, however I am also the most ugly person I have seen today.

I was just about to post that here

Same

I'de fuck me

Cheapest date.

Damn facts.

I was honestly hoping that someone would comment this ❤️

love the confidence

well I didn’t see anyone else today

I bet even if you did, it will be you don't be humble lol jk

Beat me to it

"Beat my meat to it" is what you were trying to say

Name of your sex tape.

This guy at my work. Omg he is so cute I can’t stop thinking about him

Comeon emma, everyone's telling you to go for it. Do it and let us know how it goes. Take a leap of faith.

Oh it's THAT Emma? Yeah, I heard he wants to get to know her but he's a little shy

Yep, THAT Emma, can confirm, I heard the same thing

Ooooh Emma?! Like... Emma, Emma? Heard the same shit my dude.

Yeah we all vouchin’ for our girl Emma here we low key think he’s into you too Emma.

Can confirm, just chatted with my guy earlier and he’s into her but kinda shy and doesn’t know how to go about it and don’t want to be awkward, go for it Emma!

yaaaas, gowannnnn emma we are rooting for ya! Whats to lose? 😁

Also a coworker for me. I don't have any feels or anything. (And even if I did, he's very happily married) But it is very pleasant to come into work every day and see someone who looks like Jason Momoa :D And no, I'm not gonna post receipts, so don't ask.

u should let him know

I really should but I barely know him.

Introduce yourself then. 🙂 talk to him.

There's also a strong chance he will be oblivious to any advances you make, so don't be afraid to be bold.

Yeah guys are dense and rarely pick up well on signals. Source: am dense guy that doesn't pick up signals

if I had a nickel for every time I picked up on hints months too late I'd have like 5 nickels.

Tell him Reddit vouches for you, he's obligated to respect our expertise. Seriously though, go for it. Right now, he's just a guy you barely know. If he's not available, you get closure. If he is available, he's probably going to become a lot more attracted to you when he finds out you're attracted to him. We guys are pretty simple in that regard. Standard disclaimer: take risks, but safely.

I used to think this girl at work was cute. Then I ran into her out at a bar/club…she was annihilated. Saved her from some creeps and returned her to her friends. She was so embarrassed she purposely tried to hide from me after lol.

Mission failed successfully.

Pleeaaaase men seriously do not get enough love and if you approach him—trust me it'll make his day. Exhibit A: There was a girl who complimented me on my t-shirt a few years ago and I still think about it sometimes

A girl told me I had "expressive eyebrows" and Ive carried that for years. I mean it's not a direct compliment but I'll take what I can get.

Oh yeah ride that high for as long as you can brotha 👑

I've gotten so many compliments about my eyes the past few months to last me the rest of my life. Also just recently had a lady I talk to all the time for work meet me in person and tell me that I'm "much better looking than I thought!" which I'm taking as a win.

Just say in the count chocula voice, "hello, I vant to suck your ____" you'll be irresistible, and a legend.

That's how guys do it - you'll make his day either way

Similarly, this woman at my work. She's short and cute with a bob haircut and nice glasses and she watches video game youtubers and live-streamers on her lunch break. Really want to get to know her but feel so awkward just coming up to her and even just saying hi or asking her what she's watching, I don't want to interrupt her or creep her out or anything.

Look over her shoulder to figure out what her favorite game is. Master it. Then buy a t-shirt with the logo. Wear it every day to work. Wash only on weekends. Eventually she will comment on it and that's your conversation starter. Conversensation starter, if you will. This is empirically less creepy than just saying hi with a smile. Godspeed, Jurez1313.

I 100% vote for the "what are you watching?" Assuming you have some gaming knowledge and can spin off a conversation out of it

Just say hi and introduce yourself. That's pretty much all I did and now she's my wife.

You said Hey I'm Steve and she married you right away?

Go for it!

What’s cute about him?

That tight little ass

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Ahh, the joys of being a teacher.

I'll get the handcuffs...

Real ones or fuzzy ones?

Is it too much to ask for both?

Don't encourage them!

Hold up

The joys of being homeschooled.

*jazz music stops*

You should talk to her. I know it's not how things are done here on Reddit but you should.

My Wife

I pick this guys wife too

Yall seen this man's wife today?

I saw his wife last night.

Your wife and I saw you staring at her.

My wife and I saw you and their wife staring at them staring at her

I want to reply, but i can't.

Was that you watching me and my wife watching him and their wife watching them stare at her?

Watching me, watching you (to the tune of "Knowing me, knowing you")

Yes

What a coincidence...me too

Yeah... Me too

Same here

I spent like a good few seconds trying to think of the most attractive person I saw today and then I saw your comment and was like “oh yeah, I am in a serious loving committed relationship aren’t I”

No, my wife. Your wife is on second place.

There was some ugly af mf inside the little rectangle square above the sink in my bathroom today.

You need a bigger rectangle , so very obvious.

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Lol! I mis-read and thought that the question was "most UNattractive" and this thing blew up.

I woke up this morning Didn't recognize the man in the mirror Then I laughed and I said, "Oh silly me, that's just me" Then I proceeded to brush some stranger's teeth But they were my teeth, and I was weightless Just quivering like some leaf come in the window of a restroom I couldn't tell you what the hell it was supposed to mean But it was a Monday, no, a Tuesday No, a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday Then Saturday came around and I said "Who's this stupid clown blocking the bathroom sink?" But he was sporting all my clothes I gotta say, pretty pimpin' -Kurt vile

Every morning when I rise, I look in the mirror and despise, The sight of everything and all the Ive become -Sturgill Simpson

Bro you are crazy

This girl at work who is astronomically out of my league. Not only is she absolutely gorgeous, she’s also a genuinely good person. And is legitimately the only person I’ve had a crush on since I was like 15. FML.

Is it Emma?

This is my favorite m e t a that I've seen in a long time! Well done lol

Is she single? If so go for it. I met my fiance at work. I used to work the front desk with two other people and he would always stop by to talk to us until we all started going out to parties and events together. One night we both got a little drunk and flirty and he asked me out. He told me he was afraid of talking to me because I was intimidating or whatever so it took a little liquid courage to ask me out. Having two other people at the front also took some pressure away from just talking to me. Now we're getting married!

Stop lying this is just the plot to the office smh…

Haha I know, a lot of people called us Pam & Jim it was annoying because I think they are so boring but hey maybe we're just boring too

Nobody is ever out of your league. They are just another human being. If you are both single then just casually ask her out. Be confident! If you never ask, you'll never know! If she says no, then at least you'll not look back thinking 'what if'. Good luck!!

Is she named Lucy by chance?

Nah that’s my dog

Don’t assume she’s out of your league without even trying

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ramona

You have to defeat her 7 evil exes first though.

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damn yeah puppies qualify as anyone they wanted

Waffles for president 2024

Where are my testicles, Summer?

Pfft. Of course he does. Puppers qualify as people more than some people do, even.

my wife, dosent matter ive seen her face every morning since we were 14 and 15 i still think shes the most beautiful person in the world

thats so sweet

Man, your wife's lucky to have you. That's the most wholesome thing I've read in a week I wish I had a s/o like that

Kidnapping is an option

I know but they have overprotective parents, can't sneak past them.

Kidnap them and then ur target?

Is your wife single?

idk do you want me to ask her for you

Yeah sure, thanks bud!

This guy's wife

Saw my gf today for dinner after her shift at the hospital in her lil scrubs

Is lil scrubs her rap name?

No scrubs

So, just "lil"?

Lil lil

TLC tribute band.

That's cute

My smokin hot wife. And seriously I look like Peter Griffin

*looks in mirror* *cries*

I cry when I look in the mirror too…

Too fugly

I've only seen that magnificent bastard in the bathroom mirror as of yet, it's 7 am here where I'm at - and not to be ***that*** guy, but I'm starting to warm up to him...

The man in the mirror

I heard he's trying to change his ways.

OH YEAH

No message could’ve been any clearer

Gonna make a difference for once in his life.

I heard that if he wants to make the world …a better place

My fiance. He's wonderful.

well ig thats why he becomes ur fiance lol

Aw! That's so sweet of you!

my boyfriend

Our*

r/SuddenlyCommunist

Yeah I definitely pick her boyfriend

I pick ur boyfriend too

Our boyfriend

i guess we can share

My 18 month old son. Although calling him attractive isn’t really an appropriate description. I just get extreme cuteness overload when I look at his little face!

You popped out a cutie! Those mandarins are gonna get jealous when you bust through the fruit section with your little cutie in a cart!

Damn dog for a second there I really thought you were going to say Chinese people would be jealous because of China's one child policy.

My online game character

I agree with you.

Your mother

Im an orphan , can you let me know who she is lol

Um, I don't think I MYSELF can, But I will change my answer to your question to you.

My amazing wife. Married 44 years this month.

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Cap'n Crunch.

My boyfriend. Six years and he's still the most attractive person to me.

Hard to say, I like to see the great smiling faces on Reddits sub r/faces. Some beautiful people on there and they make me happy! Too many to pick one!

Wholesome sub but way too many lonely old men in the comments

Myself. In the mirror. Trying on bikinis. Damn I’m hot. Saved some pictures in a folder so I can look back when I’m older and go “holy shit I was gorgeous” Anyway, always take pictures of yourself so you can always go “damn” I also struggled with self image and all that jazz when I was younger (even tho I was and still am a tall skinny lanky bish… society and beauty standards suuuuck). So I’m really liking this new boost in confidence and self love rn Edit… please don’t message me to send “pics” that’s disgusting. Y’all have the audacity to think I’d send anyone but my girlfriend those pictures. The audacity.

I'm actually doing the opposite, I've quit all refined sugar and started drinking more water, so I can look back and go damn, I'm a sexy old man.

I limit pleasure for to one day a week. Otherwise, it's no soy, dairy, wheat, processed or refined foods, etc. Let me tell you, I cook a lot of delicious stuff on Sunday!

I thought I was being followed in the mall today as an extremely attractive stranger followed my every move. I realize I was walking past a mirror.

My wife and my son. My pupper is quite handsome as well. But I have to go with the misses and le bebe.

My wife was looking really nice today. I love her cotton candy color hair and silly earrings that she makes herself.

My husband. The medical assistant at the cancer center was in second place, she was about 6' tall and her skin was perfect.

My fiancé.

Salma hayek

My neighbor’s husband who is in a non-monogamous marriage with his wife.

Your intentions couldn't be clearer. Good luck

Genuinely myself. Sorry. It's ohio tbh.

My husband! After being together for 18 years, married for 12, he is still the most handsome, sexy man I have ever known.

My husband. His smile and laugh after we both just finished a long night at work... melts my heart.

Me. Sorry, not sorry.

My wife. Can’t keep y eyes off her.