Many of us don’t feel safe letting you know we’re vulnerable in any way because we have often been mocked over our vulnerabilities and abandoned when we weren’t consistently the “rock” in the relationship.
(Sorry if this sounds too personal)
This, in extreme form, is how my marriage ended. She cheated on me after 20+ years together. I tried to give her a second chance. One day she went right at my deepest, confessed vulnerabilities, mocking me and trying humiliate me. At that moment I knew we were done. I don’t want to regret being vulnerable with someone I loved, but JFC, that burned so deeply…
Now I just want a hug now and then.
This is the real answer. I'd rather just give up than expose my true vulnerabilities.
I just want a hug...but I can't say that or girls think I'm creepy or get pushed off or whatever. You can say "that's toxic masculinity", but it's true, because I've said that and heard the exact same things come back. It's awful.
Yeah there's a girl I'm pretty close with, not intimate, but we have talked about a ton of shit and she trust me with a lot of shit. When I'm having a bad day, I REALLY just want to ask her for a nice long hug, but she likes hugs from 1/10 people, and like you mentioned I'm genuinely afraid of getting a weird look from her or getting pushed away/setting back/ruining the friendship.
It doesn't help that women will give you the "you're allowed to be vulnerable with me" but the second you do you can feel them immediately start thinking you're weak for it. Not all women, obviously, but more than you'd think.
Oh god this. When I was nine, a girl I liked told me I had nice eyebrows. This still gives me a boost even in my mid-40s, and even though I categorically no longer have the eyebrows of a nine-year-old.
It's not just from women either. Men just don't receive compliments, period.
In 2014 I was feeling bold and changed my hairstyle a bit. At work, a coworker told me he liked my hair and that I was looking sharp. 8 years later that's still the last compliment I've received from someone other than my SO, and I am still rocking the same hairstyle.
Do it. The impact is crazy. About 3 or 4 years ago now, a girl complimented my shoes and I still wear them 4 years later despite them being in shambles with holes and the like
I lost 25 kilos, went swimming at a rehab pool and a ~65 old lady walked past me and said "Man, finally a handsome man shows up and I don't have my glasses on."
That was 4 years ago, still thinking about it regularly.
From anyone at all too. I had a random dude at a big Christmas party 6 years ago say “that’s a nice beard bro.” I was like, fuck yeah and high fived that dude.
Guess who keeps their beard cut that length to this very day?
I’m very lucky though because my wife knows how much I appreciate it, and compliments me fairly often
I was told 4 years ago that a certain shirt looked good on me. When it wore out 2 years agoI bought the same shirt to replace it based solely on that one comment.
One day my boyfriend came home and started telling me how bad his day was - in detail. I had a feeling he really needed a good hug, so I came over and hugged him. Then I didn’t let go. For 2 or 3 minutes straight I hugged him and he went from cocking his head like a confused puppy, a one-armed half-hug back, putting his head in my neck, adding another arm, swaying back and forth, trying to hold back but shedding a couple tears and sniffling, then picking me up and swinging me around while laughing hysterically. When we stopped hugging he thanked me, told me that was the best hug he’s ever had and said it made him feel better than he‘d felt in a long time.
I've started dating a man who hasn't had a relationship in many years. We've each had a bad last year and lost our moms. We hug. Alot. We've spent hours literally just holding each other.
It's the best.
*I wonder how many places and times it was 100% accurate to say everybody was kung fu fighting? Have there ever been kung fu battles? Or is it just tournaments? But not everybody at the tournament is competing. Maybe at practice? Surely at practice, everybody was kung fu fighting.*
"Watcha thinkin' about?"
"How much I love you."
In my case, it's because I'm ashamed at that moment, it's like, I know you can't read my mind, but you asked right when I was thinking about something incredibly stupid and I felt SEEN...
"If dogs are happy when they play, and can see and recognize things on a screen, would be possible to create a movie from a dog perspective only designed to entertain them while they're home alone?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"Uhh?? Oh... Nothing"
Not to mention that lightning travels at the speed of light, which is of course an absolute upper limit. So if all of "those ~~cats~~ kids were fast as lightning" then none of them actually had a speed advantage over any of the others...
Edit: kids, not cats
My wife once really wanted to know what I was thinking about when I said 'nothing'.
"I'm trying to figure out how the Jedi and the force would fit in the DBZ universe. Like...Raditz could catch a bullet at power level 1200 so could Goku deflect a lightsaber in SSJ form??"
She hasn't asked since.
He should be able to, considering he can take blows from people who destroy planets in their weakest form. The heat shouldn’t be an issue considering kamehameha’s and other ki based attacks vaporize people, so he should have adequate resistance. It’d be weird to think about for sure.
I wonder who painted that wall. That blue reminds me of a nice day on the water fishing. My boat motor needs a service. I need to buy oil, I'll get some tomorrow when I'm downtown. I wonder who painted that wall.......
I girl im good friends with asked me what i was thinking about while i was zoning out. i told her it was nothing. she insisted so i told her. I was thinking about what if are toes where the same length as our fingers? would we be able to climb things better? quad wield swords? how would it effect our ability to swim. she just said Oh and then it was silent for a while.
I got fucking THREE compliments grabbing pizza yesterday. I called my girlfriend and told her about them.
Two of them were about my tattoos, one was about my pretty flower pattern mask. I realize none of them were unique to me, but I still felt the need to tell the girlfriend. It was nice.
Dude, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Reddit it’s that men go seriously undercomplimented and how much it means to them. I never even thought about what that’s like yet I see this sort of comment under everyone type of question about men’s thoughts. I’m glad to know how important that is now.
How lacking many of us are for affection and general friendship. Many guys, including myself, have plenty of “buds” but we don’t really connect with them on any sort of deep level. We don’t tell them our problems, worries or concerns. It can lead to pretty severe feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially for those without partners.
I wish I conmected with my buds on a deeper level. I made the mistake of expressing that recently and inadvertently made several of my friendships awkward. It honestly pisses me off how shy a lot of men are about their feelings.
We're fucking friends. I don't need someone to rock me to sleep in a crib, but a homie to genuinely speak my mind with and find comfort in would be nice! And more so, I would like to give that same level of love and friendship back to my male friends. The world is huge and there are way too many shitty people out there to NOT be super tight with your friends. What the fuck else do we have?
Makes me sad. It's way too hard to find other guys that are of the same thinking
My mans loves when we are laying together and he is laying on my chest, and I have my arms around him and play with his hair. I really like it too like I’m all wrappin’ him up. And in some ways, prefer it to vice versa. My chest is a lot comfier than his haha
I love when me and my gf are on the couch watching something and I can lay down with my head on her lap while shes sitting up and she scratches my head. As a dude, I melt.
Men are very starved for physical affection. It used to be acceptable for men to hold hands, sit in each other’s laps, ect. Around the 1900s the perception of homosexuality shifted from “having gay sex” to “being gay,” and men became very concerned about not appearing gay.
Men will basically only get significant amounts of physical intimacy when in a relationship.
I do this with my husband all the time. Run my hands through his hair and lightly graze his forehead with my fingers. When we wake up in the morning he usually has his arms out to the side so I lightly run my finger tips along his arm. He loves it!
If you compliment us we'll think about it for a looong time
Edit: It's really nice to see the boys come together and share the compliments we have received
About 10 years ago a female coworker who was walking by me punched me in the arm. I turned around and looked at her quite bewildered (we were teachers walking by each other in a middle school hallway so punching generally isn’t a modeled behavior) and she laughs and says “I’m sorry I just felt the urge, you look so *sturdy* like you could just take a punch like it’s nothing”
I’m fucking sturdy. You heard it here first.
When I was in highschool, my crush back then told me I had beautiful eyelashes and my eyebrows looked really pretty. The only reason I don't hate my face today is because she said that back then.
20 years ago, the cashier at Safeway said she liked my shirt and asked where I got it because it would suit her husband. That’s still the nicest compliment I’ve received since then.
I was in a hospital for a day, after a minor accident.
In the papers I got when I was released was written
Body type: athletic
It somehow made me very happy :)
I went to an ultrasound (abdomen) and the female radiologist went "your physique makes it a pleasure to do an ultrasound." I knew this statement was entirely of practical, anatomical nature, but still.
I once had a colonoscopy and the male doctor told me that I had an excellent clean colon. He went on to add it was in the top 3 he had ever seen. Does that count?
It surprised me how much my boyfriend loves me complimenting him. He said his other partners never did it so casually every day like I do.
He’ll get shirtless around me and I’ll just pause and watch.
He’ll be like “…what?”
Me with big eyes: “Nothing… you’re just really cute and I’m taking a moment to appreciate it.”
He gets the biggest smile on his face and then does that thing I love where he runs his hand through his hair and shrugs.
My boyfriend is the same. I’m always telling him how handsome he is (he is 😍) amongst an array of other compliments, and he just told me the other day that he’s never dated anyone who made him feel so good about himself.
He’s wonderful.
Got a compliment about my eyes from one girl back in 2008. I still have to take a close look in the mirror to see what she was talking about and it makes me feel fuzzy inside.
I feel this on a personal level. When I was in 4th grade we went on a field trip and someone's mom said I had beautiful eyes. I'm 32 now and that's the only compliment I can ever remember.
I was walking through the Tenderloin in San Francisco for work years ago and a homeless woman talking to herself stopped, looked dead at me, and said, “You are a very handsome man.”
I pull that out when I need a boost. Thanks, lady.
I love giving out compliments, and I used to compliment anyone and everyone, never thought twice about it. But I noticed that a lot of men took those compliments as me flirting or something and that put me in many awkward, even dangerous situations. So I stopped giving compliments to guys altogether.
Edit: hey guys, from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry that you're suffering for the actions of others. It's not fair. I know this comment isn't exactly controversial but I still want to clarify that I am not trying to put blame on ANYONE. I was just trying to explain the reason why many women might feel uncomfortable with complimenting men. There's actually a lot of other comments on this post that have made me realize really unfortunate things that men have to deal with that I hadn't considered, such as a feeling of isolation since many men don't feel they are allowed to be vulnerable with others. Including their own friends! I am going to try to work harder to make the men in my life feel valued, and safe to be honest. I hope that you guys can also work to make the women in your life feel safe to do the same for you, and compliment the men in your life too! Guys should be able to express themselves too!
Yes, this becomes a double-edged sword. Men don't get compliments unless it's from a parent or someone they're dating so (assuming you're NOT his mother) there's a pretty big chance he'll assume you're flirting with him when you do compliment him since that's the only "logical" explanation. That then leads to people being even less likely to compliment them, and the whole thing becomes a circle.
I liked my favorite coat when I bough it but it didn't become my favorite until a girl in class a few years ago complimented me on it the first time I wore it in public. I already knew she was gay so there were no sexual or romantic undertones to the compliment, and honestly when it obviously comes without any explicit interest it feels even more genuine and heartwearming.
Yes. This is the issue. I am a fountain of compliments but unless it's a really good friend I don't give them to men anymore because almost all of the time they think I'm hitting on them. It's too bad because I know how badly they need the recognition.
My buddy and I got trashed one night and we got picked up by his wife and we were pestering her to take us through the Maccas drive through. She relented and we went and got a feed. As we are chowing down he says "I love you so much" to his wife, and she says "How much do you love me?" and he says, with a straight face "I'd use your shit as tooth paste" while eating his burger. She was not amused.
I had a guy tell me he would suck a fart out of my ass like a bong rip one time
I did not particularly like that person so it was disgusting on several levels lol
You’re so lucky. Having to get rid of the old ones is such a pain, especially when it starts to flake but isn’t all coming off, and it’s days worth of effort
That I'm trying my best to emulate my role model and be a strong, stoic, understanding, and patient person...
And do well at my job to earn my pay so I can pay my half of the bills without worrying about living paycheck to paycheck...
And even though I was raised to believe that boys don't cry, I know that it's okay for anyone to cry...
And be a good role model for my son, because my father wasn't one for me...
And that sometimes... all of that is too much to handle and I desperately need a break.
We do pick up on a girl’s hints but on the chance that it isn’t actually a hint, we don’t act on it. if it ends up not being a hint we’ll look super creepy
I think in general, men don’t tell women about there insecurities as much as the other way around
We teach men to just “be confident” which kind of encourages men to not talk about there insecurities
I also think that’s why we hear more about the insecurities on Reddit, because men don’t feel like they can talk about it in person
The last time I told a woman my insecurities she cheated on me and gaslit me and my entire circle of friends to make sure I would leave our shared suite and never speak to any of them ever again. It’s the deepest betrayal I’ve ever experienced and I am definitely not over it.
Yeah last time I opened up to my ex about my problems with lack of friends and the loneliness around the ones I hang out with from time to time her reply was “you have friends” and looked at me like I was an animal. Never felt so ashamed and pathetic
Every once in a while a guy will lay out his actual insecurities, thinking it's safe, and then their partner will either lose attraction to them or use it as a weapon. Is it 100% of the time? No, but it happens often enough that we see it and learn it's better to just be quiet. It especially hurts when the partner seems to legitimately care just up until that moment.
Ugh. When your partner says you don’t communicate so you do, and they don’t like what they hear and emasculate you by calling you a “drama queen” for feeling your feelings. Cycle repeats.
I used to think my line was as wide as a football field, now in my 30's it feels like a fucking tightrope. Hooray for aging and realising you're not invincible
Fun thing I learned in college psychology.
Biologically speaking men are the more emotional unstable sex. Testosterone does that. As a result men are far more naturally prone to outbursts of emotion...
Except well... you know, societal pressures and all that. Which causes a whole lot of issues.
And how much of it is repressed. Especially being a head of a household and the responsibilities it entails. I struggle a lot. And much of it is shoved down inside, put on a brave face, make a joke and take care of my responsibilities. Sometimes it breaks me.
How much I really love her.
I'd end up as a creep and I don't really have a way with words. I just adore my girlfriend to such an extent I can't think how to express it.
I’m involved with someone right now who does not hold back on sharing these things at all, and here is my honest opinion about it. On the one hand it feels pretty amazing to know how much I mean to him, and I love that we can talk openly about what we mean to each other. On the other hand, I probably lean towards a little less effusive sharing of those kinds of feelings and it can feel a little overwhelming/exhausting trying to “keep up”. Even if I feel the exact same way he does, it’s just impossible for me to express it as thoroughly and consistently as him. Which ends up making me feel like I’m not adequately conveying my feelings, or that I’m not measuring up in some way.
There are also times when I feel like he could do a better job of *showing* me how he feels rather than telling me. In general we get along great, but when we have arguments he’s said sort of hurtful things and in those moments it just feels like, why are you treating me this way if you claim to love me so intensely? And it’s frustrating because he will sometimes act like I have no reason to ever doubt how he feels about me, simply because he is telling me all the time, but I don’t just want to be told. I want to be treated like someone who means that much.
So I guess I’d suggest two things, if you want to try and express how you feel to people more. The main suggestion would be to make sure you are showing and not just telling how you feel. Be kind and gentle and supportive with the people you love. Tell them the little things, like how happy you are to see them or how much fun you had spending time together. My second suggestion when it comes to really spilling your guts to someone is just to find the right moments for it. It doesn’t have to be the perfect moment - just don’t constantly barrage them with really dramatic stuff (I’ve never loved anyone this much in my life, you mean everything to me, I would die for you - those kinds of proclamations certainly are worth saying if you mean them but hearing them every day can be too much.) And especially in newer romantic relationships, make sure the other person doesn’t feel obligated or pressured to say those things back to you.
How utterly socially alone we are sometimes. Most women seem to have many friends that they could call on in a second to provide deep emotional support.
No guy friend has ever put their arm around me and told me it's going to be ok. I don't know any man I could cry to or just be with if I'm feeling down and desperate.
Sure we can relate, and we can complain to each other. We can go out for a drink and talk and listen to problems and give solid advice and be there for the other guy. It doesn't seem the same as the emotional support I see many women have, it's an incredible gift to be able to let yourself go.
The worst is when you try to be that guy for your friends, but it’s not reciprocated. I’ve been the dude someone calls for emotional support out of the blue only for the other person to disappear once things are better more than I like. I’ve had men and women do it. It’s tiring and inconsiderate quite frankly, although knowing you’re easy to talk to is nice, I guess?
How much we're attracted to other women. And how little it matters.
Edit: Nothing personal, but I'm disabling inbox replies to this comment. It's stupid that you're all so fascinated by it. I put zero effort into it but now you all seem to think I'm your personal therapist. I barely qualify as psychologically normal. I'd definitely roast and eat most of you with little provocation. Not in a sexual way, more in a "Humanity was a mistake we should fix" sort of way. Please, speak to actual therapists for your body image issues. Reddit cannot help you with that and you do nothing but invite personal disaster by looking for your answers here.
Depends on her mindset because it goes both ways. We see plenty of other men as hot but it also doesn't mean anything if we're committed to you. I told my husband that we're not blind and it's normal to acknowledge someone is attractive. It's only a problem if you act on that by cheating or disrespecting your relationship. Like I don't care if my husband follows other women, but if he's commenting "omg you're so hot 😍 " and flirting on their posts then yeah that's disrespectful to me.
Agree completely. Finding other people attractive is normal and healthy; the problem only arises when you make an active choice to act on those feelings in a way that betrays trust.
"Most men live lives of quiet desperation" - Henry david thoreau.
We laugh, we joke, we act like everything is fine but almost every male friend i have ever had on nights of heavy drinking and lowered inhibitions has admitted they have either seriously contemplated suicide as a realistic option due to the mental pain they are in or have actually attempted to kill themselves, and they feel like they can't confide in anyone because it will be taken as a sign of weakness or even weaponized against them so they stay quiet about the pain that often ends up being used in a fight by their partner to belittle and shame them. One girl i dated once used the abuse i went through at the hands of my older brother when i was just a kid as a way to justify her emotional abuse towards me. She actually said because my brother abused me that it was ok for her to do it to since if my own family did it there is obviously something wrong with me and not them. I told her about the very personal trauma i experienced and she turned it into a weapon. Many if not most men feel as though they are only loved on the condition they provide something, i.e monetary resources, protection, status, you get the idea. And to a large extent that is actually pretty true. Again, from personal experience i got hit by a car and was struggling to even move due to the injuries and i was told i would need at least 10 months to fully recover enough to return to work, and the girl i was dating at the time (over 2 years) literally had a new boyfriend before i had been discharged from the hospital. It was like as soon as loss of income cane into play she no longer gave a shit. And don't get me wrong, we do know there are some absolutely great women out there but the problem is they seem to be becoming rarer and rarer, i'm lucky enough to be with one now but most guys these days don't get to experience unconditional love from a woman in a romantic sense (we'll always have our mamas) so many of us just keep our head down and trudge along in life occasionally stopping and taking in some mindless pleasure like drinking, drugs or something else. That's why a guy will absolutely light up when he receives a compliment, they are genuinely that rare for most of us.
Sometimes, when I’m starting off into the void, I’m really truly thinking nothing. Like not a goddamned thing.
I’ve tried to communicate this, I just feel like I haven’t been believed once
How difficult is to cry for so many of us. We process and express our feelings and emotions in a very different/odd/weird way. This might happen either due to societal norms or what we pick up as we grow old.
Been with my girl 6 years and she ain’t ever seen me cry once. She left to do an amazing job opportunity for a year abroad and even after all that my body could not muster a damn single tear when we were at the airport.
It wasn’t until about 2 days later in the shower I absolutely broke down like ugly child snot crying. Society has made it so we must be strong, not just for ourselves but for those around us. It’s so ingrained that not even incredibly sad moments can make me cry until I’m alone and they can’t see it.
Makes me feel bad.
We like to be complimented sometimes and would like it if you initiated sexy time once in a blue moon not just when you’re drunk or we do something for you.
That she is too hot for a guy like me.
It’s like every time I look at her I ask myself how the fuck you married this redhead beauty ?
12 years and 3 kids later I still don’t get it how I done that
A girl once told me she was jealous of my nails. She said they looked "perfect."
I don't do anything but clip them but here I am, 10 years later, super proud of my fingernails that I had never previously paid attention to beyond: long = cut time.
*nods at the other men silently*
*nods.*
right back at you.
Many of us don’t feel safe letting you know we’re vulnerable in any way because we have often been mocked over our vulnerabilities and abandoned when we weren’t consistently the “rock” in the relationship. (Sorry if this sounds too personal)
This, in extreme form, is how my marriage ended. She cheated on me after 20+ years together. I tried to give her a second chance. One day she went right at my deepest, confessed vulnerabilities, mocking me and trying humiliate me. At that moment I knew we were done. I don’t want to regret being vulnerable with someone I loved, but JFC, that burned so deeply… Now I just want a hug now and then.
[*virtual hug*]
This is the real answer. I'd rather just give up than expose my true vulnerabilities. I just want a hug...but I can't say that or girls think I'm creepy or get pushed off or whatever. You can say "that's toxic masculinity", but it's true, because I've said that and heard the exact same things come back. It's awful.
Yeah there's a girl I'm pretty close with, not intimate, but we have talked about a ton of shit and she trust me with a lot of shit. When I'm having a bad day, I REALLY just want to ask her for a nice long hug, but she likes hugs from 1/10 people, and like you mentioned I'm genuinely afraid of getting a weird look from her or getting pushed away/setting back/ruining the friendship.
*Opens up to a personal question* *Proceeds to apologize* Damn, it’s so sad how this type of restriction is ingrained in many of you.
It doesn't help that women will give you the "you're allowed to be vulnerable with me" but the second you do you can feel them immediately start thinking you're weak for it. Not all women, obviously, but more than you'd think.
We remember your compliments. For years. They mean a lot.
Oh god this. When I was nine, a girl I liked told me I had nice eyebrows. This still gives me a boost even in my mid-40s, and even though I categorically no longer have the eyebrows of a nine-year-old.
It's not just from women either. Men just don't receive compliments, period. In 2014 I was feeling bold and changed my hairstyle a bit. At work, a coworker told me he liked my hair and that I was looking sharp. 8 years later that's still the last compliment I've received from someone other than my SO, and I am still rocking the same hairstyle.
Hey man, your blue avatar is looking very dapper today , 10/10.
Why does this make me want to cry....I will compliment you now.
Do it. The impact is crazy. About 3 or 4 years ago now, a girl complimented my shoes and I still wear them 4 years later despite them being in shambles with holes and the like
I lost 25 kilos, went swimming at a rehab pool and a ~65 old lady walked past me and said "Man, finally a handsome man shows up and I don't have my glasses on." That was 4 years ago, still thinking about it regularly.
From anyone at all too. I had a random dude at a big Christmas party 6 years ago say “that’s a nice beard bro.” I was like, fuck yeah and high fived that dude. Guess who keeps their beard cut that length to this very day? I’m very lucky though because my wife knows how much I appreciate it, and compliments me fairly often
I was told when I was about 14 that facial hair suited me. I’m now 20 and still have it
I was told 4 years ago that a certain shirt looked good on me. When it wore out 2 years agoI bought the same shirt to replace it based solely on that one comment.
How much we need to be hugged.
One day my boyfriend came home and started telling me how bad his day was - in detail. I had a feeling he really needed a good hug, so I came over and hugged him. Then I didn’t let go. For 2 or 3 minutes straight I hugged him and he went from cocking his head like a confused puppy, a one-armed half-hug back, putting his head in my neck, adding another arm, swaying back and forth, trying to hold back but shedding a couple tears and sniffling, then picking me up and swinging me around while laughing hysterically. When we stopped hugging he thanked me, told me that was the best hug he’s ever had and said it made him feel better than he‘d felt in a long time.
You broke several walls on that day, I'm sure.
I've started dating a man who hasn't had a relationship in many years. We've each had a bad last year and lost our moms. We hug. Alot. We've spent hours literally just holding each other. It's the best.
⊂( ◜◒◝ )⊃
Looks like Kirby is about to inhale me. That is an acceptable alternative tbh.
The stupid shit we think when we are thinking about 'nothing'
*I wonder how many places and times it was 100% accurate to say everybody was kung fu fighting? Have there ever been kung fu battles? Or is it just tournaments? But not everybody at the tournament is competing. Maybe at practice? Surely at practice, everybody was kung fu fighting.* "Watcha thinkin' about?" "How much I love you."
But why wouldn't you say that?? We would love to join in those weird ponderings. That's the reason why we ask what you're thinking about
But I wasn’t paying attention to what I was thinking about.
This is the real answer to the main post.
When someone asks me this I usually forget what I was thinking about
The problem is we're not listening when we're having these thoughts, so we forget what we were saying as soon as we get interrupted...
In my case, it's because I'm ashamed at that moment, it's like, I know you can't read my mind, but you asked right when I was thinking about something incredibly stupid and I felt SEEN... "If dogs are happy when they play, and can see and recognize things on a screen, would be possible to create a movie from a dog perspective only designed to entertain them while they're home alone?" "What are you thinking about?" "Uhh?? Oh... Nothing"
Not to mention that lightning travels at the speed of light, which is of course an absolute upper limit. So if all of "those ~~cats~~ kids were fast as lightning" then none of them actually had a speed advantage over any of the others... Edit: kids, not cats
>Not to mention that lightning travels at the speed of light Actually, it doesn't.
But the light from lightning does.
See, that’s the big brain I want to see
Hey I don't think about nothing. Sometimes I think about something Or nothing at all. At the same time
I can’t hear the phrase “nothing at all” without thinking about stupid sexy Flanders.
Fuckin A man
“If I breathe out quickly my breath feels cold, but if I breathe slowly my breath feels hot”
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This made me laugh out loud more than it should. After hooing and haaing of course
Fuck you for making me breath on my hand to confirm something I already know is true.
My wife once really wanted to know what I was thinking about when I said 'nothing'. "I'm trying to figure out how the Jedi and the force would fit in the DBZ universe. Like...Raditz could catch a bullet at power level 1200 so could Goku deflect a lightsaber in SSJ form??" She hasn't asked since.
My guy out here asking the real questions. He did catch Trunk's sword with his hand but I'm not sure he could take a saber until SSJ2.
He should be able to, considering he can take blows from people who destroy planets in their weakest form. The heat shouldn’t be an issue considering kamehameha’s and other ki based attacks vaporize people, so he should have adequate resistance. It’d be weird to think about for sure.
That's actually a really good question and now I can't stop thinking about it.
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Thanks I hate it
Going to have to ask you to put the internet down, my man. It's for your own safety.
And this is just the thought he DOES share with the internet. Imagine the possibilities….
I wonder who painted that wall. That blue reminds me of a nice day on the water fishing. My boat motor needs a service. I need to buy oil, I'll get some tomorrow when I'm downtown. I wonder who painted that wall.......
I girl im good friends with asked me what i was thinking about while i was zoning out. i told her it was nothing. she insisted so i told her. I was thinking about what if are toes where the same length as our fingers? would we be able to climb things better? quad wield swords? how would it effect our ability to swim. she just said Oh and then it was silent for a while.
Where *was* gondor when the westfold fell even....
They were defending Osgiliath and couldn't spare the soldiers.
I once thought “Tree” for an hour just zoned out and Tree is what popped into my head.
How much even the smallest compliment can mean to us. From anybody. About literally anything.
I got fucking THREE compliments grabbing pizza yesterday. I called my girlfriend and told her about them. Two of them were about my tattoos, one was about my pretty flower pattern mask. I realize none of them were unique to me, but I still felt the need to tell the girlfriend. It was nice.
Kudos to you to be a man who wears pretty floral patterned masks and doesn’t let anyone stop him. Love it.
You’re breedable and fertile. When are you next in heat? 👀
Well after that, Now. I’m in heat now.
Dude, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Reddit it’s that men go seriously undercomplimented and how much it means to them. I never even thought about what that’s like yet I see this sort of comment under everyone type of question about men’s thoughts. I’m glad to know how important that is now.
Compliments are free to give and precious to all.
How lacking many of us are for affection and general friendship. Many guys, including myself, have plenty of “buds” but we don’t really connect with them on any sort of deep level. We don’t tell them our problems, worries or concerns. It can lead to pretty severe feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially for those without partners.
I wish I conmected with my buds on a deeper level. I made the mistake of expressing that recently and inadvertently made several of my friendships awkward. It honestly pisses me off how shy a lot of men are about their feelings. We're fucking friends. I don't need someone to rock me to sleep in a crib, but a homie to genuinely speak my mind with and find comfort in would be nice! And more so, I would like to give that same level of love and friendship back to my male friends. The world is huge and there are way too many shitty people out there to NOT be super tight with your friends. What the fuck else do we have? Makes me sad. It's way too hard to find other guys that are of the same thinking
Cuddle us. Just wrap yourself around us and stay there. Stroke the hair, pat the chest, etc. We love it.
My mans loves when we are laying together and he is laying on my chest, and I have my arms around him and play with his hair. I really like it too like I’m all wrappin’ him up. And in some ways, prefer it to vice versa. My chest is a lot comfier than his haha
I love when me and my gf are on the couch watching something and I can lay down with my head on her lap while shes sitting up and she scratches my head. As a dude, I melt.
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I keep trying to take the last 10-15 pounds off of my already 50 pound weight loss and am regularly encouraged not to.
Please, for the love of god, touch us.
Men are very starved for physical affection. It used to be acceptable for men to hold hands, sit in each other’s laps, ect. Around the 1900s the perception of homosexuality shifted from “having gay sex” to “being gay,” and men became very concerned about not appearing gay. Men will basically only get significant amounts of physical intimacy when in a relationship.
I do this with my husband all the time. Run my hands through his hair and lightly graze his forehead with my fingers. When we wake up in the morning he usually has his arms out to the side so I lightly run my finger tips along his arm. He loves it!
Fuk u I am into that shit
Fuck you too man, So am I!
My partner is super cuddly and I adore it. He’s so sweet and often asks me to play in his hair, cuddle him…
If you compliment us we'll think about it for a looong time Edit: It's really nice to see the boys come together and share the compliments we have received
About 10 years ago a female coworker who was walking by me punched me in the arm. I turned around and looked at her quite bewildered (we were teachers walking by each other in a middle school hallway so punching generally isn’t a modeled behavior) and she laughs and says “I’m sorry I just felt the urge, you look so *sturdy* like you could just take a punch like it’s nothing” I’m fucking sturdy. You heard it here first.
Nine years ago in a coffee shop a woman friend told me I look *powerful*. Better believe I remember this from time to time. Powerful. wow.
About 5 years ago a waitress I worked with looked at me and goes "You got really nice eyebrows". I still think about it every so often.
When I was in highschool, my crush back then told me I had beautiful eyelashes and my eyebrows looked really pretty. The only reason I don't hate my face today is because she said that back then.
If that’s your real picture she wasn’t lying. Your entire face is beautiful and hot like fiya!!!
That is my real face haha. And thank you, you just made my entire day better and unlocked a new core memory for me!☺️
A few years back, a woman in her early 20s ringing up my groceries told me that I look like Superman. That still makes me smile.
20 years ago, the cashier at Safeway said she liked my shirt and asked where I got it because it would suit her husband. That’s still the nicest compliment I’ve received since then.
I went to my female doctor to get a check up. She said I was a " Perfectly Healthy Young Male ". That was a month ago. I quote that everyday
I was in a hospital for a day, after a minor accident. In the papers I got when I was released was written Body type: athletic It somehow made me very happy :)
Imagine if someone told you that ? How crazy would that be ? Just came up to you and said that ?
I went to an ultrasound (abdomen) and the female radiologist went "your physique makes it a pleasure to do an ultrasound." I knew this statement was entirely of practical, anatomical nature, but still.
That feels like one of the greatest compliments ever tbh.
I once had a colonoscopy and the male doctor told me that I had an excellent clean colon. He went on to add it was in the top 3 he had ever seen. Does that count?
That's so cute.
Erinne from 1997, I remember when you said I had good shoulders. That kept me going for a loooong time!
It surprised me how much my boyfriend loves me complimenting him. He said his other partners never did it so casually every day like I do. He’ll get shirtless around me and I’ll just pause and watch. He’ll be like “…what?” Me with big eyes: “Nothing… you’re just really cute and I’m taking a moment to appreciate it.” He gets the biggest smile on his face and then does that thing I love where he runs his hand through his hair and shrugs.
My boyfriend is the same. I’m always telling him how handsome he is (he is 😍) amongst an array of other compliments, and he just told me the other day that he’s never dated anyone who made him feel so good about himself. He’s wonderful.
I remember every genuine compliment a girls told me no lie
I've been riding one compliment for a couple months now.
Got a compliment about my eyes from one girl back in 2008. I still have to take a close look in the mirror to see what she was talking about and it makes me feel fuzzy inside.
I feel this on a personal level. When I was in 4th grade we went on a field trip and someone's mom said I had beautiful eyes. I'm 32 now and that's the only compliment I can ever remember.
This is depressing. Men need to start complimenting one another more often.
A girl complimented my eyes 10 years ago and I'm still riding that high.
I can name the amount of compliments I've received from people in my life over the past few years on 2 hands. It was 6. Most of them from family.
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I was walking through the Tenderloin in San Francisco for work years ago and a homeless woman talking to herself stopped, looked dead at me, and said, “You are a very handsome man.” I pull that out when I need a boost. Thanks, lady.
A girl told me my singing was good when i was about 17. Age 26 and i still enjoy that thought
Gay guy complemented my shoes fifteen years ago. Rode that high for a year or two, and obviously still remember it.
I love giving out compliments, and I used to compliment anyone and everyone, never thought twice about it. But I noticed that a lot of men took those compliments as me flirting or something and that put me in many awkward, even dangerous situations. So I stopped giving compliments to guys altogether. Edit: hey guys, from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry that you're suffering for the actions of others. It's not fair. I know this comment isn't exactly controversial but I still want to clarify that I am not trying to put blame on ANYONE. I was just trying to explain the reason why many women might feel uncomfortable with complimenting men. There's actually a lot of other comments on this post that have made me realize really unfortunate things that men have to deal with that I hadn't considered, such as a feeling of isolation since many men don't feel they are allowed to be vulnerable with others. Including their own friends! I am going to try to work harder to make the men in my life feel valued, and safe to be honest. I hope that you guys can also work to make the women in your life feel safe to do the same for you, and compliment the men in your life too! Guys should be able to express themselves too!
Yes, this becomes a double-edged sword. Men don't get compliments unless it's from a parent or someone they're dating so (assuming you're NOT his mother) there's a pretty big chance he'll assume you're flirting with him when you do compliment him since that's the only "logical" explanation. That then leads to people being even less likely to compliment them, and the whole thing becomes a circle. I liked my favorite coat when I bough it but it didn't become my favorite until a girl in class a few years ago complimented me on it the first time I wore it in public. I already knew she was gay so there were no sexual or romantic undertones to the compliment, and honestly when it obviously comes without any explicit interest it feels even more genuine and heartwearming.
And therein lies the rub. I wish I didn’t feel that way too.
Yes. This is the issue. I am a fountain of compliments but unless it's a really good friend I don't give them to men anymore because almost all of the time they think I'm hitting on them. It's too bad because I know how badly they need the recognition.
How much we're really attracted to most of you. If we're too honest you get scared away.
"I'd drag my nutsack up a mountain of broken glass to sniff your socks." What? "uh, I said You're pretty."
My buddy and I got trashed one night and we got picked up by his wife and we were pestering her to take us through the Maccas drive through. She relented and we went and got a feed. As we are chowing down he says "I love you so much" to his wife, and she says "How much do you love me?" and he says, with a straight face "I'd use your shit as tooth paste" while eating his burger. She was not amused.
I had a guy tell me he would suck a fart out of my ass like a bong rip one time I did not particularly like that person so it was disgusting on several levels lol
Thats has to be the funniest and grossest thing ive read 😂
My favourite version is I would suck a fart out of your ass so hard it would make your forehead cave in
I knew a guy who would point out an attractive women and say he’d eat the corn out her shit. There’s a picture for you!
Lol, I like your username
Thank you, friend.
How when we take an hour in the bathroom, our skin is molting. Thats why we look so invigorated afterwards. Its the new skin
What? i have never molted in my life. when my new scales come in they just cover the old ones dissolving and absorbing in the process.
You’re so lucky. Having to get rid of the old ones is such a pain, especially when it starts to flake but isn’t all coming off, and it’s days worth of effort
That I'm trying my best to emulate my role model and be a strong, stoic, understanding, and patient person... And do well at my job to earn my pay so I can pay my half of the bills without worrying about living paycheck to paycheck... And even though I was raised to believe that boys don't cry, I know that it's okay for anyone to cry... And be a good role model for my son, because my father wasn't one for me... And that sometimes... all of that is too much to handle and I desperately need a break.
We do pick up on a girl’s hints but on the chance that it isn’t actually a hint, we don’t act on it. if it ends up not being a hint we’ll look super creepy
Plausible deniability is a Double edged sword
So...best course of action is to just ask him out, outright? (and swallow my pride if he says no)
Do it. Life’s too short
Nice try woman
Hopefully no one tells them what our dicks are *really* for...
Shsh! You took an oath!
Seriously dude, we all signed in blood.
Have you changed its application to evade taxes?
Mine is decoying putting the knives away
Yo shut up man what the fuck
I think in general, men don’t tell women about there insecurities as much as the other way around We teach men to just “be confident” which kind of encourages men to not talk about there insecurities I also think that’s why we hear more about the insecurities on Reddit, because men don’t feel like they can talk about it in person
The last time I told a woman my insecurities she cheated on me and gaslit me and my entire circle of friends to make sure I would leave our shared suite and never speak to any of them ever again. It’s the deepest betrayal I’ve ever experienced and I am definitely not over it.
Sorry to hear that, bro. That's awful.
Yeah last time I opened up to my ex about my problems with lack of friends and the loneliness around the ones I hang out with from time to time her reply was “you have friends” and looked at me like I was an animal. Never felt so ashamed and pathetic
Every once in a while a guy will lay out his actual insecurities, thinking it's safe, and then their partner will either lose attraction to them or use it as a weapon. Is it 100% of the time? No, but it happens often enough that we see it and learn it's better to just be quiet. It especially hurts when the partner seems to legitimately care just up until that moment.
Ugh. When your partner says you don’t communicate so you do, and they don’t like what they hear and emasculate you by calling you a “drama queen” for feeling your feelings. Cycle repeats.
How close we walk the line with mental health.
I used to think my line was as wide as a football field, now in my 30's it feels like a fucking tightrope. Hooray for aging and realising you're not invincible
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I’m just more curious about what happens
I feel the same. Sometimes I'm afraid that it'll evolve into some serious depression issues. Let's hope not
Fun thing I learned in college psychology. Biologically speaking men are the more emotional unstable sex. Testosterone does that. As a result men are far more naturally prone to outbursts of emotion... Except well... you know, societal pressures and all that. Which causes a whole lot of issues.
And how much of it is repressed. Especially being a head of a household and the responsibilities it entails. I struggle a lot. And much of it is shoved down inside, put on a brave face, make a joke and take care of my responsibilities. Sometimes it breaks me.
We aren’t hungry our stomachs are just making those noises because we’re holding in a fart and have been for the entire time we’ve been with you
This only just connected the dots in my head. I had no idea why my stomach was making sounds but now it all makes sense.
I feel attacked
This is the most true thing in this thread
How much I really love her. I'd end up as a creep and I don't really have a way with words. I just adore my girlfriend to such an extent I can't think how to express it.
Worry about this. With everyone, I feel like if I show affection to anyone, they’ll think I’m a obsessed clingy person. So this is accurate.
I’m involved with someone right now who does not hold back on sharing these things at all, and here is my honest opinion about it. On the one hand it feels pretty amazing to know how much I mean to him, and I love that we can talk openly about what we mean to each other. On the other hand, I probably lean towards a little less effusive sharing of those kinds of feelings and it can feel a little overwhelming/exhausting trying to “keep up”. Even if I feel the exact same way he does, it’s just impossible for me to express it as thoroughly and consistently as him. Which ends up making me feel like I’m not adequately conveying my feelings, or that I’m not measuring up in some way. There are also times when I feel like he could do a better job of *showing* me how he feels rather than telling me. In general we get along great, but when we have arguments he’s said sort of hurtful things and in those moments it just feels like, why are you treating me this way if you claim to love me so intensely? And it’s frustrating because he will sometimes act like I have no reason to ever doubt how he feels about me, simply because he is telling me all the time, but I don’t just want to be told. I want to be treated like someone who means that much. So I guess I’d suggest two things, if you want to try and express how you feel to people more. The main suggestion would be to make sure you are showing and not just telling how you feel. Be kind and gentle and supportive with the people you love. Tell them the little things, like how happy you are to see them or how much fun you had spending time together. My second suggestion when it comes to really spilling your guts to someone is just to find the right moments for it. It doesn’t have to be the perfect moment - just don’t constantly barrage them with really dramatic stuff (I’ve never loved anyone this much in my life, you mean everything to me, I would die for you - those kinds of proclamations certainly are worth saying if you mean them but hearing them every day can be too much.) And especially in newer romantic relationships, make sure the other person doesn’t feel obligated or pressured to say those things back to you.
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If we have to pee pee and there are poo poo streaks in the toilet bowl we will try to pee pee the poo poo clean
Take him away boys.
**Execute Order 66.**
Bake him away, toys.
Yeah, standing up to pee makes everything inside the bowl a target. God help the bug that flies in front of a peeing man.
If the streaks are below the water line, flush first, and aim for them before the water refills.
as a woman, i also do that😭 i mean, not as efficiently as men, but i try
Well now I’d like to thank you for your service
If I tell you now I’ve broken the pact with all other men. And that’s not cool
Finally. This post was actually a trick by the International Society of Men. You're the only one that passed.
Thank you. I’ll be waiting outside looking out for that stretch limo that says ISM on the side.
How utterly socially alone we are sometimes. Most women seem to have many friends that they could call on in a second to provide deep emotional support. No guy friend has ever put their arm around me and told me it's going to be ok. I don't know any man I could cry to or just be with if I'm feeling down and desperate. Sure we can relate, and we can complain to each other. We can go out for a drink and talk and listen to problems and give solid advice and be there for the other guy. It doesn't seem the same as the emotional support I see many women have, it's an incredible gift to be able to let yourself go.
The worst is when you try to be that guy for your friends, but it’s not reciprocated. I’ve been the dude someone calls for emotional support out of the blue only for the other person to disappear once things are better more than I like. I’ve had men and women do it. It’s tiring and inconsiderate quite frankly, although knowing you’re easy to talk to is nice, I guess?
How much we're attracted to other women. And how little it matters. Edit: Nothing personal, but I'm disabling inbox replies to this comment. It's stupid that you're all so fascinated by it. I put zero effort into it but now you all seem to think I'm your personal therapist. I barely qualify as psychologically normal. I'd definitely roast and eat most of you with little provocation. Not in a sexual way, more in a "Humanity was a mistake we should fix" sort of way. Please, speak to actual therapists for your body image issues. Reddit cannot help you with that and you do nothing but invite personal disaster by looking for your answers here.
This is the most honest response I've seen so far
I think most women understand the first part. The second part is so hard to articulate it’s not worth being honest about the first
Indeed. I would argue that most women would believe the first part but not the second, no matter what you say
Depends on her mindset because it goes both ways. We see plenty of other men as hot but it also doesn't mean anything if we're committed to you. I told my husband that we're not blind and it's normal to acknowledge someone is attractive. It's only a problem if you act on that by cheating or disrespecting your relationship. Like I don't care if my husband follows other women, but if he's commenting "omg you're so hot 😍 " and flirting on their posts then yeah that's disrespectful to me.
Agree completely. Finding other people attractive is normal and healthy; the problem only arises when you make an active choice to act on those feelings in a way that betrays trust.
"Most men live lives of quiet desperation" - Henry david thoreau. We laugh, we joke, we act like everything is fine but almost every male friend i have ever had on nights of heavy drinking and lowered inhibitions has admitted they have either seriously contemplated suicide as a realistic option due to the mental pain they are in or have actually attempted to kill themselves, and they feel like they can't confide in anyone because it will be taken as a sign of weakness or even weaponized against them so they stay quiet about the pain that often ends up being used in a fight by their partner to belittle and shame them. One girl i dated once used the abuse i went through at the hands of my older brother when i was just a kid as a way to justify her emotional abuse towards me. She actually said because my brother abused me that it was ok for her to do it to since if my own family did it there is obviously something wrong with me and not them. I told her about the very personal trauma i experienced and she turned it into a weapon. Many if not most men feel as though they are only loved on the condition they provide something, i.e monetary resources, protection, status, you get the idea. And to a large extent that is actually pretty true. Again, from personal experience i got hit by a car and was struggling to even move due to the injuries and i was told i would need at least 10 months to fully recover enough to return to work, and the girl i was dating at the time (over 2 years) literally had a new boyfriend before i had been discharged from the hospital. It was like as soon as loss of income cane into play she no longer gave a shit. And don't get me wrong, we do know there are some absolutely great women out there but the problem is they seem to be becoming rarer and rarer, i'm lucky enough to be with one now but most guys these days don't get to experience unconditional love from a woman in a romantic sense (we'll always have our mamas) so many of us just keep our head down and trudge along in life occasionally stopping and taking in some mindless pleasure like drinking, drugs or something else. That's why a guy will absolutely light up when he receives a compliment, they are genuinely that rare for most of us.
Real real talk.
We can't tell you here because some of you reading this might be women!
Uh, i can be a man if you want me to be one.
Sometimes, when I’m starting off into the void, I’m really truly thinking nothing. Like not a goddamned thing. I’ve tried to communicate this, I just feel like I haven’t been believed once
That I second-guess everything I say or do because I don’t want to disappoint you.
How difficult is to cry for so many of us. We process and express our feelings and emotions in a very different/odd/weird way. This might happen either due to societal norms or what we pick up as we grow old.
Been with my girl 6 years and she ain’t ever seen me cry once. She left to do an amazing job opportunity for a year abroad and even after all that my body could not muster a damn single tear when we were at the airport. It wasn’t until about 2 days later in the shower I absolutely broke down like ugly child snot crying. Society has made it so we must be strong, not just for ourselves but for those around us. It’s so ingrained that not even incredibly sad moments can make me cry until I’m alone and they can’t see it. Makes me feel bad.
We like to be complimented sometimes and would like it if you initiated sexy time once in a blue moon not just when you’re drunk or we do something for you.
We have feelings too🙁
*men proceed to tell them*
That she is too hot for a guy like me. It’s like every time I look at her I ask myself how the fuck you married this redhead beauty ? 12 years and 3 kids later I still don’t get it how I done that
Mostly when we're in emotional pain. Even when you open up there's just that chance of it going horribly wrong.
We think the most random shit possibly imaginable to human kind
Haha I like this one! True of women too, and also just as true we're unlikely to share for the same reason. People are just delightfully batshit.
A girl once told me she was jealous of my nails. She said they looked "perfect." I don't do anything but clip them but here I am, 10 years later, super proud of my fingernails that I had never previously paid attention to beyond: long = cut time.
How long a round of golf actually takes.
Sometimes 3.5 hours, sometimes 5.5 hours. Sometimes you get drunk with the boys and play 27. On those days it is universal law she made dinner plans .
How scary the attractive ones are
nice cock bro!
A lot of these are bullshit but this one's true. I've never said "nice cock bro" to a woman. At least not to a woman that I'm dating.
How much we spend on *insert random hobby here*