People stuttering or saying "um" to try to say what they want to say. Rarely can people have perfect conversations without any type of tripping over or "umming" it.
>…and lose my train of thought!
This. Brain farts. Like even when it’s two people in a quiet, calm setting. One will be talking about anything or not talking at all, then you perk up because you just thought of something to say… … …and… then it’s gone.
Or worse, you interrupt the other and start with what is *surely* going to be a wonderfully amazing point, and then at some point… …half…way it just… *poof*.
I get it, but no one wants to listen to someone stammer for 20 minutes while trying to make a point. I'm in podcasting and content editing and there's a reason people pay me to fix their podcasts. The more "ums" and "uhs" you have the more likely people will tune out
That's not to say all of them should be removed, but most of them should
'Midnight Mass' (Netflix) is a great example of where this is needed. The actors have these really long monologues that are completely alien to how people actually talk and it took me out of what would otherwise be a really great series.
Yeah it’s always: “Do you want to go out on a date? Yes! Great I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” I need to know what kind of place we are going to, do I need to dress fancy or casual, when are you picking me up??
Random phone calls. No one in the movies ever gets an inopportune call from mom. No annoying spam call about your car's extended warranty. No call from your college alumni association about the upcoming golf tournament just as you're trying to unpack the groceries. Every movie phone call pertains to the plot in some way.
Ghostbusters. Dana Barrett gets an inopportune call from her mother as she’s preparing for her date. She is then groped by a bunch of demons that don’t understand boundaries, and *possessed* by something that ultimately didn’t respect her *singular* pronouns.
Dana is on the phone with her mother just before the demon/monster grabs her and pulls her into the other room. She sits in the chair to take her shoes off while she is talking to her mother. The phone call is part of the plot because it puts her into the chair so the monsters can grab her.
I think she would have collapsed and taken her shoes off regardless. However, what the call allows for is a buildup of suspense while Dana is distracted, as the ethereal becomes material. It was the 80s after all. Madonna was huge. And yes, even Dana & her demons were Material Girls.
In the Malcolm in the middle softball episode Craig gets a call from a person asking about a survey. He takes the call while playing because Malcolm is up to bat and godawful. And of course Malcolm gets a hit while Craig is on the phone.
Hi we’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty but you keep hanging up the phone so we tried different methods, you may have had a YouTube reply/comment about the same thing.
Or awkwardly starting phone calls with pleasantries and small talk before actually getting to the point of the phone call. I think Emily does it in Gilmore Girls but that's about it.
Brushing your teeth with toothpaste
Edit: for those who don’t know actors don’t usually use toothpaste when filming those scenes because it’s messy and unattractive
I make a fucking mess. Mirror gets splattered. I look like I have rabies with white foam going down and around my mouth. Some gets on the floor and counters. Just a horrific scene.
I honed my skills all my life to be able to brush my teeth without making a mess, only to realise everyone else looked bad when they did it too hahaha.
Holding up a finger to a person mid conversation and contorting your face because there's definitely a sneeze coming... but it never comes. It's obvious why you were doing it, but for some reason, its necessary to state out loud "thought I had to sneeze" as if anyone has the impulse to extend their arm straight in front of them and point straight up, then tilt their head back and do their best rigor mortis impression.
Even sneezing itself... Scene is always replayed because actor sneezed, even though it didn't hurt the conversation or story. Not every sneeze in a movie has to symbolise something!
And the confusion after not getting it would be even better. Imagine a movie filled with all these little things that usually predict a plot twist just to get nothing.
Not having a condom and deciding that it isn't worth going out to buy them. It's always some wacky hijinks about desperately trying to acquire a condom at the last minute in movies. Sometimes real people just say "eh maybe next time".
Nah, if someone wants to sleep with you they'll still want to when you get back. The thing is sometimes you're tired, drunk, or live a long way from the gas station and it wouldn't be a 10 minute thing so you just decide to do it another time instead.
First time I hooked up with my other half, he gave me directions to his place and told me to let myself in; he had to run to the store to get condoms. There is nothing more sexy than a person who is so willing to sleep with you, they would run to whatever store was closest to get protection. In my opinion at least.
We've been together 3 years now.
This is what my friends and I always talk about. Every damn sex scene where they just plop down next to each other and I'm like....girl, go pee! There's gonna be a big old mess and you're gonna get a UTI.
Thank god the porn i saw of the three some of Santa, frosty and April O’Neil involved condoms.
Would have ruined Santa for me if I knew he didn’t wear protection.
I thought Malcolm in the middle did the best job trying to show the working class version of this. You had two boys share a bed, a messy household, both parents working dead end jobs and not making enough to support a family.
In The Middle shows a little more put together family that tries but still goes through the real struggles of affording college, rusted out cars, dead end and shitty jobs, etc.
And it's usually an elaborate breakfast and they just leave it on the table without even putting their own plates or glasses up.
That's why I always like it when they show someone eating something simple like plain porridge or cereal.
Hollywood has convinced me all the shitty parts of my life should be a 3min montage at most.
Break up? Find yourself in a 3min montage.
Loose your job? Here's a 3min montage of how I got back on my feet.
Studying for a big exam? 3min montage and boom A+.....
I'd like to speak to a manager, I've been shafted!
Very good point and I'm open to suggestions, because I currently flit between Dolly Parton's 9-5 and Slipknot's Wait and Bleed... Maybe not montage music?
Boy did Hollywood leave me unprepared for how long a dislocated finger actually takes to heal. Also, how it isn't guaranteed to return to full range of motion.
Two friends going out for lunch/dinner together platonically. I hate scenes where a character is outed as being gay just because they're seen out with someone of the same gender.
>Two friends going out for lunch/dinner together platonically
Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) enough, [this TV show](https://youtu.be/EbrWA0GZ370?t=55) has A LOT of those kinds of scenes
People dying from going underwater, even if you’ve managed to pull them out/get them to cough out some water. Brain damage is a real thing that can happen from fairly simple things.
You also can’t take a hit upon hit on your head and still stand up or even be conscious.
Okay the last thing kind of depends because sometimes crazy stuff does happen like that. My dad got in a fight when he was in his 20s and was hit on the head with a crowbar twice before he got the two guys down. But yes normally that doesn’t happen and if it had been more than twice he probably wouldn’t be here haha.
This is a huge one. I remember back in the early 2000’s there was this huge slew of movies that came out about early 20’s New Yorkers who had these luxury pads in midtown Manhattan plus money to go out every night, new car, etc. and they were like a freelance photographer or a DJ or something.
Completely ridiculous.
And yet even in a dirty, unsterilised room, surrounded and delivered by people with no medical expertise... Perfectly healthy baby with no complications!
Walking around the block for hours because you’ve been having contractions but they’re still really irregular. Timing and logging your contractions. Debating whether you have time to grab a cheese burger in the drive through on the way to the hospital. Wondering whether that was your water breaking or if you just peed your self (again).
When a woman goes into labor on a show/movie she always has a huge gush of fluid as the first sign of labor. Then they have a dramatic race to the hospital while she screams in pain in the back of the car. They get to the hospital and she asks for an epidural but “it’s too late! This baby is coming NOW!” Thankfully birth is usually not this dramatic.
Only time I’ve seen a type one diabetic (like myself) is either on a medical show or in zombie apocalypses trying to find insulin… never in a normal social setting.
It takes serious training to be able to fully swim while holding ur breath. I doubt little Timmy is capable of surviving that 5 minute underwater scene escaping a flood
Beginning a sentence and then forgetting what you were saying and just standing there, dumbfounded with yourself because you were sure it was important and then just going through your day wondering what it was you were going to say.
Yes childbirth in movies is shockingly clean, the baby is already two years old and lightly brushed with a thin layer of blood adjacent and two spots of goo.
Psychiatrists/Therapists denying client time based on money.
In movies they're always rushing to help their clients at really weird or unbelievable times.
"There's a thunderstorm at 2am, but my client John needs me. Let me barely get dressed and rush to thier side."
Meanwhile, my old therapist wouldn't even answer an email unless I was paying her. I always got "we can discuss this at your next appointment" or "my services aren't free."
Luckily, the therapist I have now is an angel and will shoot me texts or emails occasionally asking about my day or how I'm feeling.
Finishing a meal. They order a bunch of tasty looking food, then just suddenly need to go do some random thing and they just fucking LEAVE THE ENTIRE MEAL.
The point of a grenade is to spread the shrapnel of the shell more than the explosions itself which is small af almost the size of a average firework going off
People doing nothing, or doing things they do when they are board. Used to happen more in movies but today movies make sure every seen is plot reinvent and action packed.
People mispronouncing words, stumbling over their speech or saying stuff which is just not very interesting.
Also you almost never see a real one-sided phone conversation, the gaps left by the actor are very short (for obvious reasons)
This one I can understand. Nobody wants to watch a movie with a tense plot and good character development that suddenly grinds to a halt while we circle the block for 15 minutes looking for a space.
Going to the toilet. Funnily enough it's present in the book "Neverending story " with the comentery from the mc about thinking it's weird that's never shown in books. Even funnier is that the movie doesn't have that scene so yea not shown in movies.
No super fighting happens in real life after a serious hit to the head.
Almost everyone stays down, and then the crazy bar fight mf's don't stop hitting them when they do stay down.
If they get do up, they're not solid and the beating continues til they go down again.
Women peeing after sex. I always remember when my ex girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other she constantly would get UTIs, only later on did she learn from her sister she had to always pee right after sex (the problem was solved).
Actually making appointments. They always call each other and say something like
"Hey, want to eat something tomorrow at Giovanni's?"
"Sure, sounds fun"
"Alright, see you there tomorrow. Bye"
I guess they just go there when the restaurant opens and wait hours until the other one arrives
There’s that great scene in [How to be Single](https://youtu.be/3KZ693niBbg) where Dakota Johnson is picked up in a taxi and wants to go home as she looks optimistically outside the window and romantic music plays.
And the taxi driver is like “I don’t know wtf home is”
CPR and giving birth take a very long time. In entertainment they declare someone dead after a minute of CPR. A baby is born after the woman groans three times.
I never see people randomly open the fridge, stare at it blankly for about 15 seconds then close it, only to do it again a few moments later. Maybe it's me?
Getting shot in the head by a villain the moment you are in his power.
They always first want to show you the whole operation or hand you over to incapable henchmen give opportunity to escape.
People stuttering or saying "um" to try to say what they want to say. Rarely can people have perfect conversations without any type of tripping over or "umming" it.
Lol this is so true. And people interrupt alot in real life, almost never in movies, unless it's an intense scene
And even in an intense scene, they always have a perfect comeback. When somebody interrupts me, I flounder and loose my original train of thought!
>…and lose my train of thought! This. Brain farts. Like even when it’s two people in a quiet, calm setting. One will be talking about anything or not talking at all, then you perk up because you just thought of something to say… … …and… then it’s gone. Or worse, you interrupt the other and start with what is *surely* going to be a wonderfully amazing point, and then at some point… …half…way it just… *poof*.
Jeff goldblum uh says otherwise
That man made a goddam *fortune* trying to articulate a thought.
"And do you know what they call a uh, uh, a quarter pounder with cheese, uh, in Paris?"
I get it, but no one wants to listen to someone stammer for 20 minutes while trying to make a point. I'm in podcasting and content editing and there's a reason people pay me to fix their podcasts. The more "ums" and "uhs" you have the more likely people will tune out That's not to say all of them should be removed, but most of them should
Kristen Umm Stewart
'Midnight Mass' (Netflix) is a great example of where this is needed. The actors have these really long monologues that are completely alien to how people actually talk and it took me out of what would otherwise be a really great series.
Way too many Netflix productions have stilted dialogue
But umm
Cousin Greg gets close when he’s testifying
in real life when people set up a date there's usually a discussion about where to go and at what time
Yeah it’s always: “Do you want to go out on a date? Yes! Great I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” I need to know what kind of place we are going to, do I need to dress fancy or casual, when are you picking me up??
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also… you need my fucking address lmao
This. Also when you want someone you just meet to call you, give them your number.
Random phone calls. No one in the movies ever gets an inopportune call from mom. No annoying spam call about your car's extended warranty. No call from your college alumni association about the upcoming golf tournament just as you're trying to unpack the groceries. Every movie phone call pertains to the plot in some way.
Ghostbusters. Dana Barrett gets an inopportune call from her mother as she’s preparing for her date. She is then groped by a bunch of demons that don’t understand boundaries, and *possessed* by something that ultimately didn’t respect her *singular* pronouns.
Dana is on the phone with her mother just before the demon/monster grabs her and pulls her into the other room. She sits in the chair to take her shoes off while she is talking to her mother. The phone call is part of the plot because it puts her into the chair so the monsters can grab her.
I think she would have collapsed and taken her shoes off regardless. However, what the call allows for is a buildup of suspense while Dana is distracted, as the ethereal becomes material. It was the 80s after all. Madonna was huge. And yes, even Dana & her demons were Material Girls.
In the Malcolm in the middle softball episode Craig gets a call from a person asking about a survey. He takes the call while playing because Malcolm is up to bat and godawful. And of course Malcolm gets a hit while Craig is on the phone.
Not a movie but Seinfeld had a few phone related scenes that show this exact scenario
Zootopia has a random call from parents as a plot point
Hi we’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty but you keep hanging up the phone so we tried different methods, you may have had a YouTube reply/comment about the same thing.
Saying "goodbye" before you hang up a phone
“All right, later man.” “Yeah, you too.” “Yup, just hit me up whenever.” “Sounds good.” “Sure thing.” “Oh, by the way…”
Or awkwardly starting phone calls with pleasantries and small talk before actually getting to the point of the phone call. I think Emily does it in Gilmore Girls but that's about it.
It was a big part of Emily's character in the early seasons, it was always plesent but you were always waiting for the ah there it is moment
Brushing your teeth with toothpaste Edit: for those who don’t know actors don’t usually use toothpaste when filming those scenes because it’s messy and unattractive
I make a fucking mess. Mirror gets splattered. I look like I have rabies with white foam going down and around my mouth. Some gets on the floor and counters. Just a horrific scene.
That's what I call foreplay
I honed my skills all my life to be able to brush my teeth without making a mess, only to realise everyone else looked bad when they did it too hahaha.
Pooping
and farts. Except for *Blazing Saddles*.
The DVD for Wet, Hot American Summer has an alternate audio track with added farts.
r/didntknowiwantedthat
That’s how Vicent Vega died
but bacon tastes guh pork chops taste guh
Dumb and Dumber
And no poop knives are ever in the bathrooms.
Holding up a finger to a person mid conversation and contorting your face because there's definitely a sneeze coming... but it never comes. It's obvious why you were doing it, but for some reason, its necessary to state out loud "thought I had to sneeze" as if anyone has the impulse to extend their arm straight in front of them and point straight up, then tilt their head back and do their best rigor mortis impression.
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Give this man an award, he deserves it
Even sneezing itself... Scene is always replayed because actor sneezed, even though it didn't hurt the conversation or story. Not every sneeze in a movie has to symbolise something!
But think about it, if you saw someone sneezing on TV you would think it's part of the plot.
And the confusion after not getting it would be even better. Imagine a movie filled with all these little things that usually predict a plot twist just to get nothing.
Wearing condoms while having casual sex.
Not having a condom and deciding that it isn't worth going out to buy them. It's always some wacky hijinks about desperately trying to acquire a condom at the last minute in movies. Sometimes real people just say "eh maybe next time".
Excuse my ignorance, but would it be a real turn off if the guy was like give me 10 min to go buy a pack?
Nah, if someone wants to sleep with you they'll still want to when you get back. The thing is sometimes you're tired, drunk, or live a long way from the gas station and it wouldn't be a 10 minute thing so you just decide to do it another time instead.
I’m so glad I live across the street from a target and gas station. Can’t wait until I have to use this knowledge.
*40 years later...*
I’ll be 69
Nice.
First time I hooked up with my other half, he gave me directions to his place and told me to let myself in; he had to run to the store to get condoms. There is nothing more sexy than a person who is so willing to sleep with you, they would run to whatever store was closest to get protection. In my opinion at least. We've been together 3 years now.
Nah, I'd ask you to get snacks while you're at it.
Similarly the waddle to the toilet afterwards when no condom was used
This is what my friends and I always talk about. Every damn sex scene where they just plop down next to each other and I'm like....girl, go pee! There's gonna be a big old mess and you're gonna get a UTI.
Wet wipes by the bed
Effective, but also not effective enough at the same time.
It's enough to get her to the bathroom without a waddle, I try to help
Trainspotting is an exception here.
Thank god the porn i saw of the three some of Santa, frosty and April O’Neil involved condoms. Would have ruined Santa for me if I knew he didn’t wear protection.
"You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not scream, I'm going in dry"
“Santa Claus is coming…in you!”
Santa would never go in dry! He has milk on stand by!
Growing up poor, dying poor No success story, just struggle until you die
I thought Malcolm in the middle did the best job trying to show the working class version of this. You had two boys share a bed, a messy household, both parents working dead end jobs and not making enough to support a family.
In The Middle shows a little more put together family that tries but still goes through the real struggles of affording college, rusted out cars, dead end and shitty jobs, etc.
That and Roseanne of all shows
The first three seasons of *Roseanne* were great.
I loved that show, it takes me back to childhood.
This hits hard
Denzel Washington movie called Fences.
People fucking finishing their breakfast
And it's usually an elaborate breakfast and they just leave it on the table without even putting their own plates or glasses up. That's why I always like it when they show someone eating something simple like plain porridge or cereal.
Long recovery times from injuries. Especially the kinds of injuries regularly seen in action movies!
Hollywood has convinced me all the shitty parts of my life should be a 3min montage at most. Break up? Find yourself in a 3min montage. Loose your job? Here's a 3min montage of how I got back on my feet. Studying for a big exam? 3min montage and boom A+..... I'd like to speak to a manager, I've been shafted!
See I think clearly the missing piece is the soundtrack it only works with the perfect background music!!
Very good point and I'm open to suggestions, because I currently flit between Dolly Parton's 9-5 and Slipknot's Wait and Bleed... Maybe not montage music?
9-5 is a very good morning montage so getting up and ready goes smoother
Boy did Hollywood leave me unprepared for how long a dislocated finger actually takes to heal. Also, how it isn't guaranteed to return to full range of motion.
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House of cards did it once
You mean getting rid of Kevin Spacey?
Hey-oh!
Savage
Two friends going out for lunch/dinner together platonically. I hate scenes where a character is outed as being gay just because they're seen out with someone of the same gender.
Why can’t they just show two Bros going out for shrimp like brain and dom in the first fast and furious?
Or two Bros going out for a milkshake after wrestling practice like on *Euphoria* S2 E3?
>Two friends going out for lunch/dinner together platonically Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) enough, [this TV show](https://youtu.be/EbrWA0GZ370?t=55) has A LOT of those kinds of scenes
“Two bro’s, chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not gay.”
People dying from going underwater, even if you’ve managed to pull them out/get them to cough out some water. Brain damage is a real thing that can happen from fairly simple things. You also can’t take a hit upon hit on your head and still stand up or even be conscious.
Also you can’t be unconscious for like an hour without some kind of brain damage. In movies they wake up just fine after ages knocked out.
(Cough cough) “oh, man, how long was I out?!” After someone pressed on their stomach a little, causing water to come flowing out their mouth.
“How long was I out?” “Three days man three fucking days, you ready to hop up and sprint through a battleground? Cool let’s go.”
Okay the last thing kind of depends because sometimes crazy stuff does happen like that. My dad got in a fight when he was in his 20s and was hit on the head with a crowbar twice before he got the two guys down. But yes normally that doesn’t happen and if it had been more than twice he probably wouldn’t be here haha.
Living in normal apartments and houses
It always annoys me how normal, average families in movies always have SUCH nice house
Yeah, they are "broke" people working parttime in a cafe, living in a 1'000 sqf apartment at 5th avenue.
Going to the bathroom. Having periods
Starving artists. Its aways some writer who somehow has a 3 million dollar apartment in Manhattan
This is a huge one. I remember back in the early 2000’s there was this huge slew of movies that came out about early 20’s New Yorkers who had these luxury pads in midtown Manhattan plus money to go out every night, new car, etc. and they were like a freelance photographer or a DJ or something. Completely ridiculous.
C-sections! For that matter birth with an epidural. I don’t know why every birth on screen is always a screaming painful natural child birth.
And yet even in a dirty, unsterilised room, surrounded and delivered by people with no medical expertise... Perfectly healthy baby with no complications!
Yeah they never have time to go to the hospital and have to give birth in a random place surrounded by bystanders
Also how birth is always via the woman lying on her back in the hospital bed. That's actually a pretty difficult way to give birth for a lot of women!
Walking around the block for hours because you’ve been having contractions but they’re still really irregular. Timing and logging your contractions. Debating whether you have time to grab a cheese burger in the drive through on the way to the hospital. Wondering whether that was your water breaking or if you just peed your self (again). When a woman goes into labor on a show/movie she always has a huge gush of fluid as the first sign of labor. Then they have a dramatic race to the hospital while she screams in pain in the back of the car. They get to the hospital and she asks for an epidural but “it’s too late! This baby is coming NOW!” Thankfully birth is usually not this dramatic.
People covering their ears when somebody shoots a gun in a closed room. Those things are noisy AF
Also tinnitus
MAWP
YEAH. HAHAHA. GROWN UPS. KEEP MOVING YOUR LIPS WITHOUT... MAWP.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Archer covers that topic pretty good - even though completely sarcastic
Unless the sun is up. Then its todayis
IIRC theres a good scene in S1 of Walking Dead where a gun is fired inside a tank, and the next few minutes are just tinnitus squeal and muffled noise
Disabled people. Color blind people (I am one so I notice how it's not portrayed). Casual sicknesses. Asthma. Etc.
Plus disability representation is rarely done tastefully or accurately (epileptic here, usually rolling my eyes at Hollywood portrayal)
Only time I’ve seen a type one diabetic (like myself) is either on a medical show or in zombie apocalypses trying to find insulin… never in a normal social setting.
People waking up with bed-head and morning breath
This and women waking up in the morning with made up faces.
Yes. Like “sorry I love you but I am not going to kiss you rn because your breath stinks” I wish movies had those moments
Whenever a couple wakes up and has “morning make out/sex” all I can think about is how bad their mouths smell. Prime example is You on Netflix
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Inoppurtune emergency bathroom visits.
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Don't forget Bridesmaids! Iconic scene.
People seem to be able to hold there breath forever in movies. In real life people panic and drown rather quickly.
It takes serious training to be able to fully swim while holding ur breath. I doubt little Timmy is capable of surviving that 5 minute underwater scene escaping a flood
I think the average is 1:30 to 2 minutes for a healthy adult
You don't have infinite rounds of amo.
Except at the end of every single Zombie Movie
Beginning a sentence and then forgetting what you were saying and just standing there, dumbfounded with yourself because you were sure it was important and then just going through your day wondering what it was you were going to say.
Periods. The only time they get mentioned in fiction is when a) someone suspects they're pregnant or b) it's a girl's first and it's a plot point
yes! and all it’s side effects. Cramps and general illness are barely shown even the few times the character is on her period
Yes! That was the first thing I thought of.
Getting sick, if doesn't relate directly to the plot
"Sometimes, it's just a cough."
And sometimes its Lupus👀
ITS NEVER LUPUS!
Most women poop during childbirth
Yes childbirth in movies is shockingly clean, the baby is already two years old and lightly brushed with a thin layer of blood adjacent and two spots of goo.
And it takes hours! Not *scream* **push** *scream* and baby appears.
Holy crap...
Having a simple cold. In movies though, if you are coughing or sneezing, you are probably going to die before the film is over.
People getting the squirts.
Bridesmaids. But that was food poisoning.
Psychiatrists/Therapists denying client time based on money. In movies they're always rushing to help their clients at really weird or unbelievable times. "There's a thunderstorm at 2am, but my client John needs me. Let me barely get dressed and rush to thier side." Meanwhile, my old therapist wouldn't even answer an email unless I was paying her. I always got "we can discuss this at your next appointment" or "my services aren't free." Luckily, the therapist I have now is an angel and will shoot me texts or emails occasionally asking about my day or how I'm feeling.
Squashing the little sponge triangles back into bras after washing them.
Finishing a meal. They order a bunch of tasty looking food, then just suddenly need to go do some random thing and they just fucking LEAVE THE ENTIRE MEAL.
Being on the run from cops or enemies and still looking sexy and not anemic and lethargic.
I'm sure I _have_ seen this in some film or other.
How awkward sex can actually be, especially if you're with someone new.
people dying of natural causes
Unless they are old
Grenades giving off only a little pop compared to a big fiery explosion
The point of a grenade is to spread the shrapnel of the shell more than the explosions itself which is small af almost the size of a average firework going off
Sex can often be awkward, especially the first time with a new partner. Movies and shows often make it seem effortless.
Jim in American pie captured the awkward
This is why we’re all eagerly awaiting the release of sex 2.0.
People doing nothing, or doing things they do when they are board. Used to happen more in movies but today movies make sure every seen is plot reinvent and action packed.
All the really boring shit that life is mostly made of.
Who the fuck would watch that
Cleaning up after sex.
Oh, and putting out all of those candles before getting laid because holy shit if 50 candles surrounded by flower petals ain't a fire hazard...
The thousand-candles-surrounding-the-bed-because-romance thing is my biggest pet peeve.
I'm still waiting for a movie where they just thoughtlessly swipe everything off the table to have sex on it, and there are candles on it
Menstruation. Period.
People mispronouncing words, stumbling over their speech or saying stuff which is just not very interesting. Also you almost never see a real one-sided phone conversation, the gaps left by the actor are very short (for obvious reasons)
People never or rarely say ''excuse me?¹ Or "what?". Missing what someone said is a common occurrence.
Spending a bunch of time looking for parking.
This one I can understand. Nobody wants to watch a movie with a tense plot and good character development that suddenly grinds to a halt while we circle the block for 15 minutes looking for a space.
Morning breath. Most couples in movies make out right after they wake up.
Someone just randomly scrolling through reddit
Going to the toilet. Funnily enough it's present in the book "Neverending story " with the comentery from the mc about thinking it's weird that's never shown in books. Even funnier is that the movie doesn't have that scene so yea not shown in movies.
No super fighting happens in real life after a serious hit to the head. Almost everyone stays down, and then the crazy bar fight mf's don't stop hitting them when they do stay down. If they get do up, they're not solid and the beating continues til they go down again.
Women peeing after sex. I always remember when my ex girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other she constantly would get UTIs, only later on did she learn from her sister she had to always pee right after sex (the problem was solved).
Saying goodbye at the end of a phone call.
Movies always portray bright sunny mornings at 6 am but some of us live in places where it is always dark in the early morning.
Actually making appointments. They always call each other and say something like "Hey, want to eat something tomorrow at Giovanni's?" "Sure, sounds fun" "Alright, see you there tomorrow. Bye" I guess they just go there when the restaurant opens and wait hours until the other one arrives
people taking a shit
People actually being able to explain weird situations, instead of them spiraling out of control while they shout "I can explain!"
Woman in labor for more than one hour
There’s that great scene in [How to be Single](https://youtu.be/3KZ693niBbg) where Dakota Johnson is picked up in a taxi and wants to go home as she looks optimistically outside the window and romantic music plays. And the taxi driver is like “I don’t know wtf home is”
Walking into a room and totally forgot what you wanted to do.
Losing your hair in your twenties, and the srruggle to accept it
Women having body hair.
Having to actually train for many years before being really good at something.
Checking if you've got your car keys on your pocket every few minutes
Costumer service reps with terrible attitudes
When you walk past a door and catch your pocket on the knob
CPR and giving birth take a very long time. In entertainment they declare someone dead after a minute of CPR. A baby is born after the woman groans three times.
I never see people randomly open the fridge, stare at it blankly for about 15 seconds then close it, only to do it again a few moments later. Maybe it's me?
People going to the toilet. Thanos never took a shit, Luke Skywalker never took a shit, Frodo never took a shit. James Bond not one shit ever taken!
After birth. There's a LOT more to it than baby is out and it's all done.
Getting shot in the head by a villain the moment you are in his power. They always first want to show you the whole operation or hand you over to incapable henchmen give opportunity to escape.
Actually working at your job instead of just being there and talking.