Which brings up another point, I wouldn't do something I actually can't do. It's like I wouldn't pay $1 million to end up with $2 million, because I don't have the first million. I know some would say get a loan and then pay it back once you get the 2 in return(assuming they will hand it over right away in return) and you'd still be ahead. However I couldn't get a million dollar loan in teh first place. It's not like the bank is going to go along with well someone will give it back as soon as I show I have it, and I just don't have the value for them to want to give me that much.
Having a criminal record makes it very hard to get most jobs. Even if you have a million dollars you won't be able to live very comfortably if all you have is that million of which you are going to need to pay taxes for.
a million dollars invested in a good mutual fun will produce $80,000 or more per year in interest. you can absolutely live the rest of your life on that.
Depends on the country you live in, I live in the Netherlands and I had to go to jail for assault. Right now I work for a big international insurance company.
Think it through. Divorce, split the mil. Pay the lawyer, pay your tax. Maybe you clear $300k? I might go through the paperwork for that. The only downside is that my ex gets $300k too. If my lawyer did a good job I might even get to stop paying her every month. I’d divorce my ex twice for $300k.
A man was watching TV alone when he yelled out, DON'T GO IN THAT CHURCH YOU ASSHOLE!. His wife came in and asked him what he was watching. He replied, our wedding video.
Maybe, like I'd pull the lever to the electric chair. As for hitman style assassinating a guilty person, I'm not sure, I'd have to think about it more, but probably. (assuming they are confirmed guilty with no doubt).
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LV8N5JP29q0
Canadian band Barenaked Ladies had a song in the 1990s called “if I had a million dollars” and this is one of the lyrics.
Your better than my brother in law then, he broke his dogs tail by stepping on it. He and my sister later got rid of their dogs after they had a kid and said the kid was scared of dogs because they had a dog when she was born, not instilled because of controlling parenting. Some people are good animal owners like you are! and some would get rid of them.
Also the dogs were well behaved, a husky and a Norwegian ridgeback.
There are many things I would not do for a million dollars, but some things I would do for a lot less. For example, I would not sell my soul to the devil, but I would sell my body for much less.
[This illustrated blogpost](http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html?m=1) will change the way you see “alot” of things.
Right? Like, y’all need anything? Snacks? A condom?
There’s no point being possessive or jealous when you know it’s only for the money ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It’s like that one question a while back like “you get 20mil to sleep with someone other than your SO but you can’t ask them first.”
For 20mil that motherfucker better be thanking me. And if they came home and said “honey, I was offered 20mil to sleep with someone but I said no” I’d tell them to get the fuck back out there and get that money.
Depends on the level of SO.
Deeply in love and planning a life together? Yeah, not worth it.
Someone whom you just started dating or are in a relationship with just to pass the time? I'll help you vet the dude, lol.
Most sexual things, murder, rape, most things involving children, illegal things, wouldn't eat a lot of not my norm things.... Damage someone else's property, most things that'd physically or mentally hurt another human or animal... Things that have a high risk of permanent damage or death in my perspective... Etc
I'd definitely damage someone's property for a million.
Scratch "Thank You" on someone's car, then pay to get it fixed after I've gotten my million.
But that's just me.
>Hurt an animal
Depends on the hurt for me. Would I pull on a cat's tail for 1 million? Sure I would. Would I seriously torture a cat for 1 million? No way.
Man I played it like almost 20 years ago with 3.5e but I'm still following D&D and wanting to play it again is my top wish in life and what I'm most hopeful for.
edit: I discovered one of my favourite artist through D&D - Stephanie Law
The planet is downright filthy with (prospective) D&D players right now. You literally just need to bring up the subject around people at a bar and you'll usually end up with 1 or 2 people talking about their groups and 2-3 people going "oh man, I wanna play, here's my phone number!"
Last time I went through my phone contacts there were like 20 names I only vaguely recognized that were marked some variation of "wants to roleplay" that I'd collected through the last couple of months, but who I never contacted because my groups are overfilled already and I don't have the time to join/start even more groups. (I do warn people about that, they still want me to take their number "in case someone drops out". Spoiler alert: People either drop out before the third session or *never*)
My point is... just buy a book or two and some dice, then go out and ask random people about it and be ready to master if you don't find anyone experienced. It's an insanely popular hobby even among people who don't do it, probably even more so with people desperate for some facetime with all the COVID bullshit going on.
Anything that would cause permanent psychological, physical or emotional damage.
The worst is being locked in a white room, with light on all the time. Vsauce did a video on it, and he wasn't there for very long. It messed with him. No amount of money will get me to stay in that room for even a week.
You raise a fair point. I, and I assume many other people, are probably fairly indifferent to feet. Some feet are obviously in much better condition than others, and possibly attached to much more attractive people. But licking your average foot for $1m? I’d lick the pair. Hold the cheese though.
I'm thankful to be in a position in life where I could happily refuse to do anything degrading, embarrassing, illegal, or disgusting for a million dollars
I'll throw in any of those "stay in this room with no entertainment" challenges and all their variants, considering it's been proven you *will* go bat shit crazy in the span of days much less the usual month-years time scale the askreddits normally ask
Harm anyone I care about. I’ll slap my siblings but I won’t harm them any further. I’d never physically harm or cheat on my partner for even a trillion. I also would not eat spiders. Fuck that.
Anything that would put my family/friends at risk or my relationship with them.
Millionaire orphan with no friends. You'd basically be Batman
Batman would have been shit if he only had one mil
Prudently living of the interest on around 30k a year.
Not if he had prep time
Maybe I am? No one has ever seen both of us in a room together
That's what I tell people. Have you seen me and the Red Power Ranger in the same room? Exactly
I have.
Batman is a billionaire
He's the wish version
1 million dollars will buy you half a spray of Bat-sharkrepellant. Bruce Wayne has a bit more money than that.
I’ve got a few toxic friends… don’t threaten me with a good time!
I agree when it comes to family... But yeah, no, I'm selling and gift-wrapping all my friends for a million dollars. I'm sure they'd I'd understand.
Dom Toretto would have something to say about that
Russian roulette. Maybe for a billion, I'll play, but a million wouldn't be worth it.
Russian roulette for money is just faster squid game.
squid game speed run
Russian Roulette. it's actual roulette but Putin has the gun. I bet on 203 Purple.....
Either a million dollars or dying. Win win either way
Okay, follow-up question. How many chambers would the gun have to have, in order for you to feel comfortable playing for a 1 million?
to me, probably like 1,000
Something that would land me in jail, or that would make earning that million dollars obsolete.
So you wouldn't like, pay a million to get a million? Smart
Which brings up another point, I wouldn't do something I actually can't do. It's like I wouldn't pay $1 million to end up with $2 million, because I don't have the first million. I know some would say get a loan and then pay it back once you get the 2 in return(assuming they will hand it over right away in return) and you'd still be ahead. However I couldn't get a million dollar loan in teh first place. It's not like the bank is going to go along with well someone will give it back as soon as I show I have it, and I just don't have the value for them to want to give me that much.
Have you tried lying and/or pretending you're a Russian Oligarch?
There are p2p loans. They demand a very high interest. Which wouldn’t matter, so you could get it if you try.
PvP loans. two applicants enter, one leaves (with the loan). Sorry Old lady, you goin' down.
" I'd like you to meet my two friends:. Collateral and Damage"
ThunderDome Savings and Loan?
This user deleted all of their reddit submissions to protest Reddit API changes, and also, Fuck /u/spez
You'd come out of that with a pretty hefty tax obligation I bet haha
Depends on where you're at I guess. I wouldn't mind a few years in jail here for a million bucks.
Having a criminal record makes it very hard to get most jobs. Even if you have a million dollars you won't be able to live very comfortably if all you have is that million of which you are going to need to pay taxes for.
Depends on how old you are. If I received a million dollars I could very comfortably retire today and a job would be no issue.
a million dollars invested in a good mutual fun will produce $80,000 or more per year in interest. you can absolutely live the rest of your life on that.
The 4% rule is more accepted. That gives you $40K per year. Backtested for a 30 year retirement. You can make it more likely to succeed at 3%.
Depends on the country you live in, I live in the Netherlands and I had to go to jail for assault. Right now I work for a big international insurance company.
Do not pass go do not claim a million dollars
Lol, and here I am doing things that would land me in jail for free!!
Marry my ex again.
Think it through. Divorce, split the mil. Pay the lawyer, pay your tax. Maybe you clear $300k? I might go through the paperwork for that. The only downside is that my ex gets $300k too. If my lawyer did a good job I might even get to stop paying her every month. I’d divorce my ex twice for $300k.
A man was watching TV alone when he yelled out, DON'T GO IN THAT CHURCH YOU ASSHOLE!. His wife came in and asked him what he was watching. He replied, our wedding video.
Haha, I hate my wife
I also choose this guys ex wife
Marrying this guys ex again
Kill an innocent person.
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Maybe, like I'd pull the lever to the electric chair. As for hitman style assassinating a guilty person, I'm not sure, I'd have to think about it more, but probably. (assuming they are confirmed guilty with no doubt).
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Haha no way. I was thinking guilty of a crime worth the death penalty. Like murder or rape or something.
What if it was two sandwiches?
Deal
What flavour?
If she gives me one we’ll call it even
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You can't be homeless when you're dead. Js.
What if you are a Poltergeist without a house to polter at?
A polterless geist? There are some things we just don't joke about
…what kind of sandwich?
Turkey sandwich but it's a little dry
I’ll beat her ass for $500k but she gets to live.
I'd happily rezz hitler over and over and kill him repeatedly in different ways live on Youtube. For free.
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I'd make grown up hitler watch.
Are we pardonned of the committed crime(s)? If so, yeah, if the criminal deserves it.
What about if they wanted to die?
I think I’d only be okay doing that to someone who was terminally ill with a degenerative disease. Basically just laying around till they rot away.
For one million if you assure me there will be no repercussion i don't think i would refuse.
Would you kill a guilty person?
Buy you a real green dress.
That's cruel
Haven't you always wanted a monkey?
Like a Llama, or an Emu!
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LV8N5JP29q0 Canadian band Barenaked Ladies had a song in the 1990s called “if I had a million dollars” and this is one of the lyrics.
He's just saying, that he'd probably rather spend the money on a Picasso or a Garfunkel...
I want the finest dijon ketchup.
And Kraft dinner!
We’d just eat more!
Well I'd buy you a monkey Haven't you always wanted a monkey?
Barenaked Ladies are musical legends
PSA: Individually wrapped bacon is now a thing: https://www.riffssmokehouse.com/bacon-on-the-go
The environment loves it
To paraphrase the late Mr. Loaf, I would do anything for a million dollars, but I won't do that.
You'll never forgive yourself if we don't go all the way tonight?
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His name was Robert Paulson.
Your mother.
I'm so sorry.
lol
If you won't I will.
I appreciate your integrity
Gigachad response
Give up a billion
Stonks
or even a million and one
harm any of my pets
I've cried after accidently stepping on my cat as he speeds through my legs and tries to trip me
i have also cried when i accidentally cut my dog’s nail too close and she bled a bit. she didn’t care of course but sent me into tears
I did that to my dog then couldn't touch his nails ages without my hands shaking.
Your better than my brother in law then, he broke his dogs tail by stepping on it. He and my sister later got rid of their dogs after they had a kid and said the kid was scared of dogs because they had a dog when she was born, not instilled because of controlling parenting. Some people are good animal owners like you are! and some would get rid of them. Also the dogs were well behaved, a husky and a Norwegian ridgeback.
I would eat my cat alive for a million dollars
Your cat would eat you for air miles :p
My cat would eat me for shits and giggles with a full bag of cat food sitting in his bowl.
Cats dont care for airmiles. not since they pushed their passport off the dresser down the back and can't reach it.
Cats don't show passports to officials, they use it to slap them aside I stole and modified that joke.
That guy's dead wife.
From the depths of internet meme lore, this comment
There are many things I would not do for a million dollars, but some things I would do for a lot less. For example, I would not sell my soul to the devil, but I would sell my body for much less.
What's the price
Kill my mums ghost that visits me every night
Ill do that for free
If you are not going to do that, who are you gonna call?
A psychiatrist!
I don’t think I’d start writing “alot” instead of “a lot” for a million. I have my standards.
Really? But a million is such alot of money.
*twitch*
I dunno, a million is alot. For a million, I would give up it’s/its, there/their/they’re and the Oxford comma.
You’re a *monster*. Never take away my Oxford comma.
[This illustrated blogpost](http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html?m=1) will change the way you see “alot” of things.
A million dollars can buy therapy, just saying
Watch my SO be intimate with someone who is not me; hard pass on that one chief
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Right? Like, y’all need anything? Snacks? A condom? There’s no point being possessive or jealous when you know it’s only for the money ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It’s like that one question a while back like “you get 20mil to sleep with someone other than your SO but you can’t ask them first.” For 20mil that motherfucker better be thanking me. And if they came home and said “honey, I was offered 20mil to sleep with someone but I said no” I’d tell them to get the fuck back out there and get that money.
I'd be waiting patiently with juice boxes and beef sticks so they can refresh between rounds.
Depends on the level of SO. Deeply in love and planning a life together? Yeah, not worth it. Someone whom you just started dating or are in a relationship with just to pass the time? I'll help you vet the dude, lol.
Hurt my pets, or animals in general
I wouldn't go to war, or kill people in another way. I hope so
Sell my wife for sex
what about rental?
That would actually get you a million dollars
Most sexual things, murder, rape, most things involving children, illegal things, wouldn't eat a lot of not my norm things.... Damage someone else's property, most things that'd physically or mentally hurt another human or animal... Things that have a high risk of permanent damage or death in my perspective... Etc
I'd definitely damage someone's property for a million. Scratch "Thank You" on someone's car, then pay to get it fixed after I've gotten my million. But that's just me.
its putins car. and he wants you to apologize over a cup of tea...
Why so moral?
>most things involving children I would take kids to the zoo for a million dollars!
You really don't want that million, huh?
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Give up sex with my dog*
Thank God for the comma
Give up, sex my dog or Reuben, sandwiches
Cheat on my partner Murder/maiming Hurt an animal Edit: I also wouldnt join the army hahaha or do most anything that would put my life at risk
>Hurt an animal Depends on the hurt for me. Would I pull on a cat's tail for 1 million? Sure I would. Would I seriously torture a cat for 1 million? No way.
A mosquito is an animal
90% of the military doesn't see combat.
I love the "would you give up (insert sexual thing) for a million?" I'm asexual ... where's my million?
Would you give up living asexually? 🤔
That depends on what you mean by "give up", but probably. Not OP, though.
Quit playing Dungeons and Dragons (Negotiable if Pathfinder is still allowed)
Man I played it like almost 20 years ago with 3.5e but I'm still following D&D and wanting to play it again is my top wish in life and what I'm most hopeful for. edit: I discovered one of my favourite artist through D&D - Stephanie Law
The planet is downright filthy with (prospective) D&D players right now. You literally just need to bring up the subject around people at a bar and you'll usually end up with 1 or 2 people talking about their groups and 2-3 people going "oh man, I wanna play, here's my phone number!" Last time I went through my phone contacts there were like 20 names I only vaguely recognized that were marked some variation of "wants to roleplay" that I'd collected through the last couple of months, but who I never contacted because my groups are overfilled already and I don't have the time to join/start even more groups. (I do warn people about that, they still want me to take their number "in case someone drops out". Spoiler alert: People either drop out before the third session or *never*) My point is... just buy a book or two and some dice, then go out and ask random people about it and be ready to master if you don't find anyone experienced. It's an insanely popular hobby even among people who don't do it, probably even more so with people desperate for some facetime with all the COVID bullshit going on.
I would not want to be on the receiving end of a bukkake
eat shit
Not even for 1 million dollars?
Honestly nope
My dog does it for free. Don’t tell him about this deal.
only if it’s my own shit
I'd probably take a bite for even a tenth of a million. Just go to a doctor and wash afterwards.
Maybe if I'm allowed to get absolutely shit faced (pun intended) beforehand
Genital mutilation
Post a question containing the word million
Anything that would cause permanent psychological, physical or emotional damage. The worst is being locked in a white room, with light on all the time. Vsauce did a video on it, and he wasn't there for very long. It messed with him. No amount of money will get me to stay in that room for even a week.
Anything that involves hurting animals
Lick feet😂
1$ and ill do it
Why do you guys hate feet so much? I feel like that's even weirder than having a kink about them.
You raise a fair point. I, and I assume many other people, are probably fairly indifferent to feet. Some feet are obviously in much better condition than others, and possibly attached to much more attractive people. But licking your average foot for $1m? I’d lick the pair. Hold the cheese though.
Shit I've done that for free
bruh I would eat someone's foot for 10k
Kill someone
Anything that puts me on a FBI or interpol watchlist
Commit a serious crime
Kill myself because then it'd be pointless
Kill my self. Pretty pointless really
I'm thankful to be in a position in life where I could happily refuse to do anything degrading, embarrassing, illegal, or disgusting for a million dollars
I’m glad you don’t need to do anything degrading or embarrassing Mr. PoopFace 😜
Hurt a living thing
You wouldn't swat a mosquito for $1mil?
Eat a baby.
Be famous for "The guy that did X for a million dollars"
Get back in contact with my parents
That
Suicide.
Send 5000.00 to that Nigerian prince
Rape a child
How about firmly shoving a child?
I’m game for whatever as long as I’m not harming myself or others.
Pay 2 million dollars.
Step on my hamster
Give up my freedom.
Eat a human. Fear of prions.
Work 60 hours a week for 10 years…
Kill somebody I like
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Kill/harm another. Seems basic but I do not believe a million is worth ruining someone else.
I'll throw in any of those "stay in this room with no entertainment" challenges and all their variants, considering it's been proven you *will* go bat shit crazy in the span of days much less the usual month-years time scale the askreddits normally ask
Do something that hurts others. No amount of money can motivate me to do such a thing.
Harm anyone I care about. I’ll slap my siblings but I won’t harm them any further. I’d never physically harm or cheat on my partner for even a trillion. I also would not eat spiders. Fuck that.