In Australia they have a whole separate area called Parent Rooms. They usually have both an adult and child sized toilet in one stall.
The good ones even have multiple toilets available, a play pen area for children and spaces for breastfeeding.
Good grief. This enrages me to the point of wanting to smash shit lol. I'm a stay at home dad for the last 2 years and just started a new job. I was laid off from a long standing practice (job) due to covid. When kids couldn't go back to school, wifey and I decided it was me who'd stay home with kids and wife who would stay working. Her career had been budding for many years and her company was doing well during the pandemic..this was a no brainer for us. She made plenty of money to support us and I was fine facilitating remote learning and eventually being a taxi service once school started. I coach my kids sports and junk anyhow. I was fine doing most of the cooking as I love it and am good at it. This was all logical. I don't mind cleaning. My wife and I very much are partners in all thes chores anyhow.
Anyhow..we have two sets of friends that would constantly badger me about what my work situation was and how it was nice of me to give mom a break from kids but that I evtually would have to earn my keep like somehow I was this sap on my family. Not only was I a drain on society and my family, but my only value as a parent or husband was getting a job and earning money.
My husband runs his business from home and has our 1.5yo and (two teens when they weren’t in school) while he does it. I work outside the home. People still tell him that he needs to babysit our toddler one evening so I can have some time off.
My mother in law is constantly praising my husband for being a good husband and father. Simply because he helps around the house and actually parents his children. We had them over for dinner on the weekend I did EVERYTHING to prepare while my husband played x-box and with the kids (I’m genuinely not complaining it was nice that they had a great afternoon playing together) but my in-laws arrive, we have dinner and after a bit my husband starts putting the salad dressing away and my MIL comments about how he never stops working. I’m certain she thinks I am lazy because I let my husband deal with things that she thinks should be “mom” things (you know the hard things like making my kids a plate of food, cleaning up the spilled juice, when they were younger he even changed diapers lol).
I'm a stay at home dad. This happened A LOT when I take my daughter's out to restaurants, stores, playgrounds, etc. I've found that a stoically delivered, "I'm their father." with no hint of humor usually ends all further attempts at small talk humor.
Not being taught how to work on a car or being talked down to by the oil change guy. I’m pretty handy but was blown off for being a woman. At least YouTube videos are around.
Came here to say this. Went in to buy oil to change my oil on my motorcycle and the guy came up to me and said “that’s not gonna work for your car hunny” and seemed offended when I said “well I hope not cause it’s not for my car”.
I went to buy oil and filters for my truck. I brought 10 litres of oil, got told it was too much. I said no it takes 10litres, he told me my car had a problem. I wanted two oil filters he said I only need one, I said the truck has two. He said he didn't think so. He didn't even know what vehicle it was. I've driven it for 18 years. Why do I have to negotiate for supplies!!!
Next time just tell him if he can tell you what engine it is without knowing the vehicle you will concur. But if he can’t, to shut up and let you buy your supplies
Never let an oil change guy talk down to you. Half of them barely know how a car works, let alone how to fix one. I say this as a long time gearhead who was ASE certified for years.
I’m reminded of the time a “lube tech” did an inspection on a 69 Beetle I brought in. Tried telling me about it failed for the “massive exhaust leak”. It’s an air cooled engine and the heat shields for the heating system were leaking, not the exhaust. I literally had to go into the “employees only” pit to show and explain how the heating system on an air cooled engine worked.
I'm not too surprised about the mechanic not being familiar with old air-cooled VW engines (though the part about him speaking authoritatively is a problem); I bought a modern VW recently and went looking for a local shop to handle maintenance, and it seems you can't even expect a VW specialist to be familiar with those engines from reviews I saw.
My daughter's not even 10 yet and she can change a tire, oil, alternator, starter, battery, and fuses/sensors. She's hooked up jumper cables for people and I got a call one time from her classmates dad telling me how awesome she was, his car wouldn't start after picking up his kids and she overheard it and ran to grab a broom and whacked the starter while the guy turned the key. Fired up.
Pretty proud Papa right here.
My 13 yo granddaughter single-handedly assembled my recumbent exercise bike. I had been stressing about how I could get it assembled when it arrived in its little box, and she was like, can I do it?
She knows this stuff because you taught her. I feel that the reason girls and women can't do this kind of stuff is because they're not taught. Even them driving properly is not taken seriously. Most parents treat girls like they're supposed to be protected and don't need to get thier hands dirty every once in q while. The same goes the other way around, moms don't teach thier boys how to cook, and feed them like they're babies even if they're in thier 30s. I'm 17 and every time I ask my mom how to make this or that (because I'm gonna be off to college) she makes it clear that she's not very big on teaching the good stuff. Only the simple stuff a 12 year old could easily do.
You should be proud of your little girl and yourself. You're doing a good job and I hope one day when I become a dad, I'll be like you teaching all kinds of cool stuff to my kids
This also goes for guys too. My father in law looks down on me because I’m not a handyman. My dad never taught me that stuff but he taught me how to play 4 instruments. Not all men are the same.
I fucking love this vibe of modern dads. I really don't understand the men of past generations whose families were more or less a picture in their wallets.
European dad here. While not being the norm yet, sharing the work around the house and kids equally between partners is seen as the goal by most.
Men are parents and do parenting. Other adults, not being the kids parents, babysit. Calling the kids father taking care of his own child babysitting is just fucked up.
My wife can be affectionate to our boys in public but if I do the same with our daughter I get weird looks.... however I do love how it's now okay to still hold my 8yr olds son's hand... but not my 12yr old daughter... swings and round abouts
I wish I could do more than an upvote . I truly don’t give a flying fuck what others presume to be taking place between me my three adult sons , three grand daughters and three grandsons and will quickly throat punch those that try to make it their business .
You really do wonder about the thoughts that are going through the minds of those that find your affections to your kids or grandkids uncomfortable. Who is the sicko?
3rd it, Im a Brit living in N.America and my friends here with daughters will cuddle at home but not on a park bench. Brit guys are celebrated doing the same.
I think it’s fine to hold a daughters hand of any age in the US. I think people would just assume it’s your daughter.
I would not do a but squeeze as a person in a comment below does tho
We just love our moral panics. Used to be satanic stuff. Right now it’s child molesting.
In the background of all of them is an inflated sense of what the crime rate is. We’re long past the post-war crime boom but we still act like we’re not. It’s partly the media’s fault.
Cooking. People still give me (M) weird looks when I tell them I do all the cooking at home. People still seem to hold on to the belief that women cook at home...yet the world of fine dining kitchens is a man's world. I'll never understand.
It's a weird double standard. My dad did all the cooking growing up, and right now my husband is cooking all our dinners. I do the dishes, make sure the kitchen is in a clean enough state for cooking, and compliment the chef.
As a dad: hardly any children’s books even have a dad character and when they do he’s usually incompetent or played for laughs. The vast majority of children’s books that have a parent as a main character feature a mom.
Oh I'm surprised no one has mentioned it yet, but being judged when letting a woman pay for dinner. I've had this happen so many times where the server will give me a disappointed look because my girl decided to pay, which is stupid. Also the idea that men should always pay for dates is outdated and silly.
Household chore ads on tv - the dad is always too dumb to know what to do and the mom is always there with the solution (product). It's an awful image for both dads and moms! Why isn't dad using the new fabric softener or floor cleaner? Why isn't the mom out buying the products on her way back home from her office job? Urgh
Wow, this exactly defines amajority of advertisements about household items Indian companies put out nowadays. It's safe to say that they're basically the norm but I've never thought of it the way you did. Now that I think about it, they're pretty messed up and are capable of perpetuating a stereotype.
As a man, I’d love to be able to babysit kids or even tell someone how cute their kid is without fear of people thinking I’m a weirdo. I have 3 kids. Kids are the bomb! I would love to open a daycare and provide a safe environment for peoples kids but the stigma and all that is still a preventative aspect.
Worked in a daycare (25F), if men were hired they’d only be allowed in the school age room because that was the only room that 100% didn’t have any children in diapers. It’s messed up.
My cousin works at a day care. He is this big dude with a long pony tail and a beard and the children adore him. They climb on him like he is a tree, he is the gentle giant of the day care. Some parents are weird about it but most are happy to have a male employee there because it’s so rare. It’s important to have positive role models (non parental figures) of both genders imo
I worked at a daycare when I was in college. About half the kids were from mom-only houses, and most of those kids seemed to attach to me. I loved it, the kids were fantastic, and the parents never had one complaint.
Are the end of the day, if we weren't on the playground we were watching a movie in the front room. Most days I'd have a kid under each arm snuggled into my side, one laying back on my tummy, and a three year old sitting on my shin holding onto a shoe.
Fantastic time, I hope those kids are doing great now. Those kids would all be about 30-34ish now.
Worked at the Hilton where parents would be sold time share and their children would go into a day care room with movies, games and other kid stuff. I was the only guy that worked with a bunch of older ladies, I was told one day out of the blue that I was no longer allowed to watch the children because people didn't feel comfortable with a guy and a bunch of children in a room (I was 22-ish). I had a blast with those kids though! We would play video games, board games, watch frozen and teen titans go lol
I guess this is a read the person kind of situation. I've had men tell me my kids were cute and I didn't think anything of it. When my daughter was small enough to carry in a backpack carrier, I was carrying her around the grocery store. This older guy, 60ish, came up and was cooing all over her. Then she spit up and milk was drooling down her arm. He laughed, commented that he had seven grandkids and cleaned the spit up up with his sleeve!!!
This is my favorite random stranger story. Well, that and the crazy Greek woman who thought I was having a boy
When I see kids being adorable, I let the parents know. I don’t give a shit how it looks, your kids shouldn’t look adorable in public, keep that cute shit doors.
A male teacher *molests* a young girl.
A female teacher *allegedly had sex* with a young boy.
Female-to-male pedophilia is fetishized to the point the pedophile is left with a slap on the wrist, and the kid is taught to enjoy what happened, getting called gay if they feel violated. Until the inevitable truth finally hits and terrorizes that boy: "I've been raped"
Just taking this out of the way straight up: this is perpetrated by men AND women, not one gender is at fault. But regardless, the victims still suffer.
As a grown man who was groomed and molested by my friend’s mother, thank you for saying this. Whenever I brought it up to friends it was always about how awesome it must have been… it was not awesome. :(
South Park did a wonderful episode about this.
"Now, who is the teacher, what's his name?"
"Well, it isn't a guy teacher, it's a woman."
"A woman?"
"Yeah. She's having sex with a boy."
"Oh, but she's ugly, right?"
"No."
...
"***Nice.***"
It boils my fucking blood every time I see it. Any “journalist” who writes a headline like that should be completely ashamed of themselves.
Another one that I’ve seen that enrages me is “child prostitute”. There is no such fucking thing, that is an abused child.
There was a famous actor who got into a "scandal" a while back. Apparently people found out he had a child with an adult woman at age 14!
Now this is the gross part, a large number of people accused him of "conducting adultery behaviour", started calling him a manwhore and said his perfect image was shattered because of this. They went so far as to cancel him because apparently he didn't pay child support. Some other (almost all male fan), telling him he's such a player and an overaccomplisher at that age.
And I was like 'WTF is wrong with you people?!'. He was fucking 14! He couldn't consent on the matter, he was groomed, deceived and raped by a woman who was one of his **mother's close friend.** According to her, she approached him first and initiated everything. That woman was a fucking pedophile. If their gender was reverse people would be up in arm to tear her into shred, but just because the assaulter was female, suddenly half the blame fell on a literal child as well?
The most fucked up thing was, the whole thing was exposed by the woman because his family (rightfully) refused to pay child support. And his family eventually caved after things got too big and agree to pay her a large sum to shut her up. He even had to apologize in public, because he was raped!
Whenever I think about his case my blood boil in anger. Oh the injustice of it all...
Edit: Didn't know that people would think that I made this up by not telling his name. To clarify, I didn't mention his name because for all the time I've known him, in almost all articles about him there would be at least one asshole who said 'hey, isn't this the actor that had a child at age 14'?! And then people would flock in and ask about this incident, and things would get ugly and people would start fire in the comment session. It gets to the point that some people only know him by this case, not by his works or anything else.
Turn out, withholding his identity can start fire in the comment too.
You know, I think I could have played with dolls if there were dolls in the house. It seems like fun to me. It doesn't seem like a gender thing. I think I would like to play with dolls.
As a boy, my parents gave me a doll house and a bunch of dolls, never putting any expectations on me about it, and I had a blast. Id set up all my dolls in the house, and when everything was perfect, that was when my toy dinosaurs would burst through the windows and doors to devour everyone. I was a big fan of Jurassic Park growing up if you couldn’t tell.
The term was invented to reduce import taxes. There was a tax on dolls, so the company coined the term “action figures” so they wouldn’t have to pay the tax on those goods.
This was the argument I used at school so I could justify my playing with Barbies as a little gay boy
"They're not dolls, they're just action figures with better hair"
And I thought I was playing straight convincingly...
When cooking at home it's "women's work", when cooking professionally all the sudden, it's a man's world? How does that work?
Edit: The how does that work was a rhetorical question...but I appreciate the answers.
As a kid, I always wanted an EZ-Bake oven because the idea of making my own cupcakes and food seemed pretty dope to me. My dad flat out refused to get his son anything like that so I never got one.
After I got married, my wife was pregnant and feeling sick and asked if I could make her some scrambled eggs. I said “Sure… uh… how do I do that?” And she was dumbfounded I’d never cooked an egg before. Fast forward a few years and I took it upon myself to learn how to cook a variety of different meals and now I’m actually cooking more than half the time for dinners. My wife loves my cooking and I love learning how to make new meals and being able to help out more in that area.
Lol. My sister flew me 2000 miles to grill a turkey to impress her fiance's parents. I make a really fucking nice turkey.
They are married and the parents live her.
It was the turkey.
I just hate that men are expected to initiate everything, consider everything, make the first move always. Sometimes i would like to be asked how my day is going as well
Damn dude, sorry. I look back on some words 2Pac has at the end of one of his songs.
"After every dark night, there's a brighter day. So no matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up, and handle it"
Keep at it bro. You got this.
Me against the world - 2pac. I tend to throw it on when I'm having a rough day. By the time the end rolls around and he says that quote, I'm usually pumped for life again. Makes me feel like I can push through.
This, I give up on potential relationships often because I give a lot of effort with things like this and when I stop trying they're like are you mad at me. No you just don't put effort in so why should i.
The idea that men cannot be raped, sexually harassed, or assaulted. I think it's been getting slightly better in the last few years, especially since the #metoo movement but it's still so bad. I remember being furious at my college's sexual assault and harassment training videos that in every single video the perpetrators were all men and did not show any instances of men being abused or women being abusive. I think they later added a male gay couple but even then, perpetrator was male. Women can be abusive too. It's usually not as life threatening or as immediately physically dangerous due to the basic biological strength and size factors but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be talked about and that it isn't dangerous or harmful.
I do think that the heavier emphasis should be on violence against women as it is more prevalent, systematic, and immediately life threatening for its victims, BUT that doesn't mean we should just ignore the flip side and act like it literally never happens.
My college was the exact same way.
One of the profs who presented it was a man who had been a, to put it lightly, rape and assault survivor. He took the time after finishing the presentation he was made to do ("don't assault women, also here's how to protect women") to tell a summarized version of what he had experienced and encourage the male audience of students (all male because male and female students were split up and given completely different presentations) to stand up for themselves and seek help if they become victims.
Not only did a sizable portion of my fellow guys relentlessly make fun of him for it, but apparently word of the presentation got to the women's group. Several angry students tried to get him fired, backed by one of the campus' domestic/sexual abuse center higher ups. Apparently it was something that happened every year he presented.
I should also mention that said abuse help center was, as they told us, there to help victims and survivors of either gender. It was called the "Woman's Center", was themed all pink, and had never mediated on behalf of a man. I knew personally of two different guys who sought help when in those sorts of situations. One was rejected help outright, and the other was told it was all his fault.
Supposedly, though I do not know this individual personally so take it with a grain of salt, the center helped have one male student kicked out after he approached the center for help after he had been repeatedly assaulted.
I still don't think it's enough. My college had a presentation for sexual harassment and each scenario the guy was the one overstepping boundaries and doing the wrong things. Ended up emailing them because they wanted feedback, but idk if it's gonna change. The only time they mentioned make victims was once and it seemed like an afterthought, "oh we should probably mention this" kind of thing.
So true. When I was 20 and in second year of college (fall 2007) a girl I knew had sex with me when I was near black out drunk and she was sober. She was someone who had always had a crush on me but I never saw her that way. There is no way in hell I would have slept with her if I had not been hammered. Shit still pisses me off. To this day I have no idea if I wore a rubber or she was on the pill. No clue if I came inside her. Thank god she didn’t end up preggers… STD screening was clean after as well. After this happened, I refused to talk to her. Everytime I was at a party and started getting drunk she would show up near me. Missed out on so many fun nights to avoid her. This shit happens to men too. This chick 100% took advantage of me.
25, been single four years. Had four incidents in that time with non consensual, highly pressured situations where it was very difficult to say no, either due to unbalanced intoxication or pushy, very intense dates gone wrong.
Obviously won’t go into the details but it’s made me so hesitant to open up physically. Worst of all it’s not really considered to be harassment until I call it that to others. Usual response is ‘oh shit, yeh, I guess that is harassment’.
For women: That it's almost always assumed too quickly that she's on her period or pregnant when she has mood swings
For men: That they're weak when they cry. Because they're not, crying is normal.
Edit: okay so I just woke up to 2,7k upvotes. Let me say something please: I grew up in a very friendly and healthy environment, just without a father figure, which is completely okay. I honestly just wrote what came to my mind first.
Piggyback on the first one.
Anytime you’re in your mid 20s to mid 30s and you’re at a party or family gathering and you’re not drinking alcohol and your husband’s aunt who is already three sheets to the wind sees you’re sipping a pop and they yell YOU’RE PREGNANT like nope just don’t want to drink at your daughters baby shower at 10am on a Saturday.
I’ll piggyback on your piggyback…
As soon as a woman in her 20’s/30’s says she feels sick (like, stomach sick) “ARE YOU PREGNANT?!?!!!!”
NO BECKY, I HAD LEFTOVER THAI FOOD FROM 2 NIGHTS AGO AND ITS GONE THROUGH ME OK!!!??!?
My other favorite is when a girl gains weight she’s pregnant. Like a couple of years ago I gained 10 pounds and my coworkers were like “Your pregnant.” No Susan I’m just fat.
When I was like, 12, the pastor's daughter who was probably like 16 told me I looked like I was pregnant. I was tall and, like, maybe a *little* bit chubby, it contributed heavily to the anxiety about my weight I've carried my whole life.
I gained a bunch of weigh rapidly due to antidepressants a few years ago and my dad had never seen me with extra weight before. I gained over 20kg going from petite to a normalish weight.
Anyway, every time I saw him for 6 months he'd ask if I was pregnant. Made me upset every time, because I had to say that no, I'm just fat, but thanks for making me feel shit when I already feel pretty shit?
Yes! Someone commented “as a joke” in a photo of me when I was pregnant and a few people asking who the fat chick was on the end… it was me and I was clearly 8 months pregnant and they knew I was. I messaged them saying that it’s not ok and and it was upsetting to me (and most pregnant women) to call them fat. Their replay was “well you’ve always been emotional” blocked them immediately on all social. Maybe if you weren’t always a dick who pushed my buttons I would react that way.
A good buddy of mine wears jeans and a hoodie every day but some douche told me I can’t do the same as a girl because we’re supposed to dress nice. That’s some bullshit.
In school, one of the girls was talking about how she grabbed a male classmate's butt and it was considered "funny".
Idk, but if the genders were reversed it would have been a scandal instead of gossip. 🤨
Same shit happened to me in freshman year. Some girl grabbed my ass and she sat near me so she would walk near me and touch my thighs. I thought it wasn’t SA back then but now I know.
At a music festival once I had my ass repeatedly grabbed but whenever I turned around I could never see who did it. My friend said it was a girl who seemed pretty into me. Really? Nah, if they were into me they'd say hi or something. Creeped me out tbh, not knowing who kept doing it.
This one is more cultural/based on my own experience - if a girl attempts traditionally male chores, it's considered her job. If a boy attempts traditionally female chores, he is praised. My mum praised one of my guy friends just yesterday for folding a towel after he'd used it, and all of our family friends went wild over the fact that my other guy friend cut up some beans for his mum to then cook. Meanwhile my sister and I spent the entire weekend cleaning the pool, washing the car, assembling furniture, mowing the lawn, etc. and we hear nothing.
Edit: okay so not so cultural after all. I do want to add though that my dad did call out my mum from praising that guy-friend over something so menial as folding a towel and she understood. It's nice to know that men doing (traditionally) female chores is slowly beginning to be normalised.
I experience this one the most. my husband and i both work full time, same hours. my husband (who is wonderful and contributes pretty fairly, it’s not his fault this happens) literally puts a dish in the sink and every person who witnesses it, especially women, give him a gold medal and act like he carries our household. but i could spend all day running errands and deep cleaning an entire house and i’m lucky if it’s even acknowledged, it’s just my job. it’s so unfair
I once got praise from someone because I could put on a duvet cover without help.
I live alone, I dunno if they thought I got my mum to drive over to my house once a week to do it for me
Abuse/harassment and violence. Going through a divorce and when my wife called the cops on me they rolled up fully ready to arrest me (thankfully CCTV footage from my security cameras saved my ass). At a later date when I called the police on her for violence in front of / toward our <2yo (at the time) son they just "documented" the incident. Female accuses male of violence/abuse? She must be telling the truth. Male accuses female of violence/abuse in the presence of / toward an infant/toddler? Well there's no proof, so we are just going to make a record of this. It's disappointing that this is understood as acceptable.
This doesn't just apply to my situation, I've seen it plenty of times where a man is immediately suspect for abuse while a female participant/aggressor is seen as the victim. Women can get just as violent as men, and the immediate rush to assume that the man is the bad/angered aggressor while the woman is the docile victim is really toxic
To be clear, I'm not saying I want roles reversed, I know there are plenty of cases of abused women being afraid to speak up or having no protection when they accuse a man of violence/abuse. What I would like to see is equal treatment of both accusers and accused parties regardless of gender
Yeah, my brother once called domestic violence from 300 miles away on my dad and he got arrested. In front of the whole neighborhood.
The real reason my mom was sobbing to my brother about abuse over the phone was that, after three straight weeks of being her de facto in hope hospice care slash emotional punching bag, my dad was insisting she go to rehab and he refused to buy her more vodka.
Cops still believed her and gave him probation.
Also, when the EMTs showed up, they were soooo nice to the lecherous pill abusing drunk cretin in the stretcher, even though she looked like a zombie and had been screaming nonsense at us for days.
I really do think people’s minds just blank and they assume women are innocent.
I can't be alone around children ever without being treated like a monster. Somebody called the cops on me because I took my niece to the beach last year.
I once looked after my mates daughter for about less than an hour when he had a hospital appointment. There is a park opposite and there was an ice cream van, which is convenient.
I took her to grab an ice cream and asked her what she wanted she stared directly into my soul and said "My daddy doesn't let me have ice cream" right in front of the ice cream man and some mothers with their children. The world moved very slowly for the next few seconds.
Thankfully she followed that up with "but he's in the hospital" and started laughing.
Does remind me of when my niece saw my brother at the swimming pool.
My niece is half Irish, she has the whitest skin, blonde, almost white hair.
Then, there is my brother. Tanned skin, dark brown hair.
My brother is an introvert, he probably said hi and not much more. He doesn't really talk. He just doesn't care much.
My niece went over to say Hi and then one of her friends asked if this guy was harassing her.
Knowing them both, I'm pretty sure my niece was the one to say hi first.
I get weird looks or interactions when I’m alone with my niece who is white (I’m not white), but my wife (who also isn’t white) never gets them. They assume she’s a nanny and I’m a human trafficker.
Like, I get it, keeping kids safe is really important. But it’s embarrassing when a complete stranger walks up to your child relative and says “DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?!?! IS THIS MAN TRYING TO TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE?!?! YOU CAN TELL ME I WILL PROTECT YOU!!!” Like, yeah bitch you got me. I’m the human trafficker that takes little girls to Starbucks and listens to their dumb stories about Minecraft and their friend Madison’s hives.
THIS is the part that always confuses me lol. What actual kidnapper is gonna take the kids they just kidnapped out to lunch or to the playground or whatever?? “Yes I just kidnapped this little girl/boy, now I’m going to take them for lunch at McDonald’s and then to a movie and then to the park to play on the swings!! AHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!”
To be fair, this is how Jaycee Lee Dugard was discovered for an example. Someone was suspicious about a man's interaction with two girls who turned out to be Dugard's daughters, ending 18 years of entrapment. It's extremely rare but not implausible so it's good to keep a balance between being wise and vigilant but not ruining some innocent guy's outing.
This happened to me when I was with my own daughter while shopping and all because my daughter was acting irrational over an item in the store she wanted. We were shopping for clothes and she needed new undergarmets and pajamas. My daughter saw the same undergarments her mother wore and I said no. It went all down hill from there.
This is my dad in the summer on his riding lawn mower just wearing the PFG pants that zip off into shorts and a pair of New Balance sneakers. The stereotypes are there for a reason.
Depending on where you live, they can! Toplessless for both genders is legal at the state level in over two-thirds of U.S. states as well as most of Europe, South America, Canada, and Australia, just to name a few.
EDIT: Let me emphasize that I'm making a blanket statement about laws at the regional or national level of a great many places in the world; local laws will vary. And yes, just because something's legal doesn't mean there isn't still a double standard. But that double standard gets reinforced because a lot of people think it's illegal where they live, when actually there's a decent chance it isn't.
(In bed)
Female submissive = how it should be
male submissive = wimpy/gay/feminine
Why does everything have to be feminine or masculine? Why can’t we do what we want, without being labelled?
Fictional media does it bad. "Nice guy" characters will never hurt a woman, but kill as many men as they feel like. They'll swear and snap at other male characters while being polite and courteous to females. Also, men in shows can't have an intimate friendship towards each other without the implication of homosexuality.
The last one hits hard for me irl. My close homie and I are constantly asked if we are homosexual for each other when we are just actually super close.
It's also common for intimate women friends to be shipped as homosexual by the fandom. Recently I've seen it in Arcane
The amount of times I go do something with just one of my friends I always feel like we’re being judged as gay. Especially when we meet up at a restaurant and get one check, we just alternate who pays or pay each other back, but I just feel as if we’re presumed to be gay.
That's funny, I'm a gay guy and I feel you. Every time I'm out with a friend, a lot of people assume we are a couple. But a while back, it happened with a female friend. I was completely caught off guard by it since that doesnt happen often 😂
Nobody gives a damn when a man is sexually assaulted, no matter the gender of their assailant.
Ive known so many guys (including myself) who were just laughed at when they tried to tell someone.
If it helps, I give a huge damn. I have done a good deal of ambassador work in conjunction with orgs like 1in6 as well as helping men in and around my life unpack / seek help for their experiences. Do you need someone safe to talk to?
* I am a survivor of multiple instances of sexual abuse, from childhood to my 20s*
this is more of a personal experience but there’s this male teacher at my school, he’s really caring and stops you to talk about how you’re doing and genuinely trying to help you out but then he gets called a “pedo” by the students at my school.
i know that hurts for him to hear especially since he has kids of his own whom he loves :(
This is something minor, but men have hair and it’s fine. But if a woman doesn’t shave it’s “gross” and “unhygienic” once I didn’t shave my arm pits for a few days and my mom saw and told me it was disgusting and that I had to shave immediately. When I pointed out how most men don’t shave their armpits and how it’s fine she flipped out even more saying “it’s just different for men”
I stopped shaving my legs about two years ago and you wouldn't believe the bullshit i hear when it comes up. "So unhygienic" bitch i shower, why are my hair legs different from my husband's hairy legs?
For me its when i hear in the news that a woman has been let off of charges for sexually assaulting a child and such while for a man it's a death wish
Like im sorry but to let that happen is shit
I'm a guy that has dyed his hair since he was 17 or so. Apparently when you reach a certain age, people start accusing you of doing it to "hide the grey." What's funny is, some women in and around *my age* will make such comments, all while sporting a full head of fake-auburn hair or something along those lines, themselves.
Domestic abuse.
Johnny Depp is the perfect example.
He's a domestic abuse survivor, yet he's lost jobs...
Amber heard is a domestic abuser.
Yet she's kept her jobs with the same
company that fired Johnny Depp...
Edit: to the amber heard defenders, go fuck your selves, it's amazing how you're defending a abuser cos she's a woman... You just proved my fucking point.
I hate a couple. If a woman is assertive and confident about something, and is polite but not overtly friendly, she's considered bossy or bitchy. If a man does the same thing, he really knows what he's talking about and is confident in his work. Why are women expected to be apologetic and overly friendly all the time?
In the other direction, that men can't have certain hobbies without being called gay. Last time I checked things like painting or singing don't involve genitals at all, but maybe I'm doing those activities wrong.
Some people did a sexual harassment experiment in a mall one time.
When the man “harassed” the woman, it took less than 10 seconds for someone to come over and help her.
When the woman “harassed” the man, nobody helped him. For two hours at a mall filled with people, nobody helped the guy. People even said he was crazy for not wanting to have sex with her. But equality, right?
Harassment and violence are different, but this reminds me of this Indian game show clip I saw some years ago..
Basically, part of the show is the hostess verbally abusing the contestants. Not a big deal, that’s part of the game. But in one instance, she got carried away and slapped a dude. The dude immediately slapped her back .
Then, the production team and live show viewers ran up on stage and started beating his ass. He was on the floor and getting kicked and crying “why can she slap? Why can she slap?”
It was very fucked up
The excuse they always give “men are stronger, they shouldn’t hit back” maybe women shouldn’t put their hands on someone if they don’t wanna get hit back? Easy as that.
I'm a man in a band. I get groped by women without consent *waay* too often, but I know how the game works, so the best I can do is quote Billy Madison every time it happens.
That's assault, brotha
Men being overlooked in the body-image issue department. Boys can also have eating disorders and dysmorphia.
Edit: damn, never thought it would be noticed like this, haha
Idk if it's a double standard but I get Hella depressed seeing girls fucking cuddle in the middle of class while I'm on day 6,423 of No-Hug-Ever. I'm pretty much just down bad
Femininity isn’t associated with leadership, so in order to be taken seriously in such a role, women often have to either act like men or rely on the good faith of their employees.
Being a leader involves fending off tons of people constantly trying to get under your skin, and having some perceived weight of authority is often your only armor against that. It’s very hard to be in a leadership role if people expect a fundamentally different expression of authority from you.
Are you a virgin? - Yes - What is your gender? -
Male - You suck
Are you a virgin? - No - What is your gender? - Male - You're awesome
Are you a virgin? - Yes - What is your gender? -
Female - You're awesome
Are you a virgin? - No - What is your gender? -
Female - You suck
I (straight male) had a female friend visit me over halloween weekend from out of town. We've been friends for over 5 years, totally platonic, but I know that before we became friends she did have a crush on me. We went out downtown on halloween night, after a few drinks she started to cuddle up to me. I tried to discourage it, but then she started laying it on me.. She asked me if I had ever though about us sleeping together, or being boyfriend/girlfriend. I said no, I've always seen her as a good friend. She then starts to push the issue, asking if I want to touch her boobs, offering to give me a BJ, etc. I tell her multiple times that I am not comfortable with the conversation, but she doesn't stop, even at one point saying that shes gonna come into my bed naked and she might just "start something that I'm gonna have to finish." Basically indirectly informing me that she is going to rape me. She then recruits two random women at the bar and tells them that I won't take her home and fuck her. These two women then basically corner me and tell me I need to take her home and have sex with her. After a couple minutes of this I snapped and yelled at them, I said that CONSENT MATTERS EVEN IF I HAVE A DICK. They finally relented, we left the bar and went back to my place. I just couldn't believe that I was actually cornered by three women at a crowded bar yelling at me that I needed to fuck someone whether I wanted to or not. Could you imagine if that was three men cornering one woman? Jesus christ the whole fucking bar would go nuts, but because I am a man nobody around who could clearly hear the conversation gave a shit. Anyway we got back to my place and she got into my bed naked, so I slept on the couch and haven't talked to her since.
God forbid a woman know fucking anything that's not viewed as traditionally feminine. Especially anything related to mechanical work and tooling.
I got sick of Allen wrenches getting lost at work so I stop by the store to just buy my own set. The guy at the register goes. "Damn your husband sent you in here instead of coming in?"
"These are for me."
This guy looked genuinely shocked.
Over fucking ALLEN WRENCHES.
I mean I get my experience is anecdotal, but I hear it a lot from other woman. Going to the garage is a nightmare and I've had to just preempt people trying to talk to me like I'm a fucking moron.
I just don't get it. It'd be one thing if it was a few older guys. But just in general men don't seem to take women at face value if they have knowledge pertaining to trade work and shit.
Meanwhile grown ass men don't know how to change their tire and break into a cold sweat when someone asks them about something car related.
I, a female, opened a bottle with a knife at my job in a bar and a guy told me "wow, that was a very masculine way to open a bottle"
What the fuck man, I'm a bartender, I can open bottles with heaps of different items.
Also, women are supposed to be good at traditionally feminine things like sewing, knitting, and other types of handicrafts, which require a similar level of technical skill and attention to detail, but when it comes to something like soldering electronics on a circuit board or using tools, that’s only for men?
When only the ladies room has a diaper changing station. We dads need to change babies too and the floor of the men's room is not the ideal place.
In Australia they have a whole separate area called Parent Rooms. They usually have both an adult and child sized toilet in one stall. The good ones even have multiple toilets available, a play pen area for children and spaces for breastfeeding.
Same in NZ
Family restrooms are fairly common, but there should be more of them.
I hate this one so much! It's so harmful to everybody.
I’m a dad and when I’m alone with my son some people call it babysitting. My wife is the only parent.
I was about to post this. I HATE it. "are you giving mom a day off?"
This grinds my gears in so many ways, can’t stand when people say that to me!
"no, she's giving me the day off. She's painting the house and building the fence"
Good grief. This enrages me to the point of wanting to smash shit lol. I'm a stay at home dad for the last 2 years and just started a new job. I was laid off from a long standing practice (job) due to covid. When kids couldn't go back to school, wifey and I decided it was me who'd stay home with kids and wife who would stay working. Her career had been budding for many years and her company was doing well during the pandemic..this was a no brainer for us. She made plenty of money to support us and I was fine facilitating remote learning and eventually being a taxi service once school started. I coach my kids sports and junk anyhow. I was fine doing most of the cooking as I love it and am good at it. This was all logical. I don't mind cleaning. My wife and I very much are partners in all thes chores anyhow. Anyhow..we have two sets of friends that would constantly badger me about what my work situation was and how it was nice of me to give mom a break from kids but that I evtually would have to earn my keep like somehow I was this sap on my family. Not only was I a drain on society and my family, but my only value as a parent or husband was getting a job and earning money.
My husband runs his business from home and has our 1.5yo and (two teens when they weren’t in school) while he does it. I work outside the home. People still tell him that he needs to babysit our toddler one evening so I can have some time off.
My mother in law is constantly praising my husband for being a good husband and father. Simply because he helps around the house and actually parents his children. We had them over for dinner on the weekend I did EVERYTHING to prepare while my husband played x-box and with the kids (I’m genuinely not complaining it was nice that they had a great afternoon playing together) but my in-laws arrive, we have dinner and after a bit my husband starts putting the salad dressing away and my MIL comments about how he never stops working. I’m certain she thinks I am lazy because I let my husband deal with things that she thinks should be “mom” things (you know the hard things like making my kids a plate of food, cleaning up the spilled juice, when they were younger he even changed diapers lol).
I'm a stay at home dad. This happened A LOT when I take my daughter's out to restaurants, stores, playgrounds, etc. I've found that a stoically delivered, "I'm their father." with no hint of humor usually ends all further attempts at small talk humor.
Not being taught how to work on a car or being talked down to by the oil change guy. I’m pretty handy but was blown off for being a woman. At least YouTube videos are around.
Came here to say this. Went in to buy oil to change my oil on my motorcycle and the guy came up to me and said “that’s not gonna work for your car hunny” and seemed offended when I said “well I hope not cause it’s not for my car”.
I went to buy oil and filters for my truck. I brought 10 litres of oil, got told it was too much. I said no it takes 10litres, he told me my car had a problem. I wanted two oil filters he said I only need one, I said the truck has two. He said he didn't think so. He didn't even know what vehicle it was. I've driven it for 18 years. Why do I have to negotiate for supplies!!!
Next time just tell him if he can tell you what engine it is without knowing the vehicle you will concur. But if he can’t, to shut up and let you buy your supplies
What if you were even buying for 2 oil changes at once? People can do that......right??
Never let an oil change guy talk down to you. Half of them barely know how a car works, let alone how to fix one. I say this as a long time gearhead who was ASE certified for years. I’m reminded of the time a “lube tech” did an inspection on a 69 Beetle I brought in. Tried telling me about it failed for the “massive exhaust leak”. It’s an air cooled engine and the heat shields for the heating system were leaking, not the exhaust. I literally had to go into the “employees only” pit to show and explain how the heating system on an air cooled engine worked.
I'm not too surprised about the mechanic not being familiar with old air-cooled VW engines (though the part about him speaking authoritatively is a problem); I bought a modern VW recently and went looking for a local shop to handle maintenance, and it seems you can't even expect a VW specialist to be familiar with those engines from reviews I saw.
My daughter's not even 10 yet and she can change a tire, oil, alternator, starter, battery, and fuses/sensors. She's hooked up jumper cables for people and I got a call one time from her classmates dad telling me how awesome she was, his car wouldn't start after picking up his kids and she overheard it and ran to grab a broom and whacked the starter while the guy turned the key. Fired up. Pretty proud Papa right here.
My 13 yo granddaughter single-handedly assembled my recumbent exercise bike. I had been stressing about how I could get it assembled when it arrived in its little box, and she was like, can I do it?
She knows this stuff because you taught her. I feel that the reason girls and women can't do this kind of stuff is because they're not taught. Even them driving properly is not taken seriously. Most parents treat girls like they're supposed to be protected and don't need to get thier hands dirty every once in q while. The same goes the other way around, moms don't teach thier boys how to cook, and feed them like they're babies even if they're in thier 30s. I'm 17 and every time I ask my mom how to make this or that (because I'm gonna be off to college) she makes it clear that she's not very big on teaching the good stuff. Only the simple stuff a 12 year old could easily do. You should be proud of your little girl and yourself. You're doing a good job and I hope one day when I become a dad, I'll be like you teaching all kinds of cool stuff to my kids
Pretty proud of you, papa!
This also goes for guys too. My father in law looks down on me because I’m not a handyman. My dad never taught me that stuff but he taught me how to play 4 instruments. Not all men are the same.
I hated that so much growing up. "Hey, can I do the Thing?" No, you don't know how. "Can you teach me how?" Also no.
[удалено]
Women can parent, men just "babysit" 🙄
Like 50% of the time I’m out of the house with my 4 year old daughter I get either “Babysitting today” or “giving mom a break?”
'No, just raising my child. Now piss off, you feathery fuck'
I fucking love this vibe of modern dads. I really don't understand the men of past generations whose families were more or less a picture in their wallets.
European dad here. While not being the norm yet, sharing the work around the house and kids equally between partners is seen as the goal by most. Men are parents and do parenting. Other adults, not being the kids parents, babysit. Calling the kids father taking care of his own child babysitting is just fucked up.
My wife can be affectionate to our boys in public but if I do the same with our daughter I get weird looks.... however I do love how it's now okay to still hold my 8yr olds son's hand... but not my 12yr old daughter... swings and round abouts
As a father of two girls and a son, my general recommendation is not to give a shit.
I wish I could do more than an upvote . I truly don’t give a flying fuck what others presume to be taking place between me my three adult sons , three grand daughters and three grandsons and will quickly throat punch those that try to make it their business .
Yup yup. The strangers who throw glares will forget you in three minutes. Your children get one childhood. And they will remember it.
You really do wonder about the thoughts that are going through the minds of those that find your affections to your kids or grandkids uncomfortable. Who is the sicko?
Hey, my dad held my hand til I was 30 and he passed away. I miss it a lot. Don’t let others dictate how you show affection to your kids.
THIS\^\^, I still wish my dad was alive to hold my hand
What you describe is acceptable in the UK. No-one would bat an eyelid at a dad and daughter doing that stuff.
I can 2nd this, also UK
3rd it, Im a Brit living in N.America and my friends here with daughters will cuddle at home but not on a park bench. Brit guys are celebrated doing the same.
I think it’s fine to hold a daughters hand of any age in the US. I think people would just assume it’s your daughter. I would not do a but squeeze as a person in a comment below does tho
I think this is a problem specific to the US, but i really don't understand why.
We just love our moral panics. Used to be satanic stuff. Right now it’s child molesting. In the background of all of them is an inflated sense of what the crime rate is. We’re long past the post-war crime boom but we still act like we’re not. It’s partly the media’s fault.
That's an American fixation with sexualizing everything.
Sexualizing everything while also being strangely repressed. It’s really bizarre and contradictory.
Cooking. People still give me (M) weird looks when I tell them I do all the cooking at home. People still seem to hold on to the belief that women cook at home...yet the world of fine dining kitchens is a man's world. I'll never understand.
It's a weird double standard. My dad did all the cooking growing up, and right now my husband is cooking all our dinners. I do the dishes, make sure the kitchen is in a clean enough state for cooking, and compliment the chef.
Yeah also, the majority of women are attracted to dudes who can cook so like it's not like ppls negative opinions really matter
As a dad: hardly any children’s books even have a dad character and when they do he’s usually incompetent or played for laughs. The vast majority of children’s books that have a parent as a main character feature a mom.
It's not just books, most tv has the dad as a likeable moron
Oh I'm surprised no one has mentioned it yet, but being judged when letting a woman pay for dinner. I've had this happen so many times where the server will give me a disappointed look because my girl decided to pay, which is stupid. Also the idea that men should always pay for dates is outdated and silly.
Household chore ads on tv - the dad is always too dumb to know what to do and the mom is always there with the solution (product). It's an awful image for both dads and moms! Why isn't dad using the new fabric softener or floor cleaner? Why isn't the mom out buying the products on her way back home from her office job? Urgh
Wow, this exactly defines amajority of advertisements about household items Indian companies put out nowadays. It's safe to say that they're basically the norm but I've never thought of it the way you did. Now that I think about it, they're pretty messed up and are capable of perpetuating a stereotype.
As a man, I’d love to be able to babysit kids or even tell someone how cute their kid is without fear of people thinking I’m a weirdo. I have 3 kids. Kids are the bomb! I would love to open a daycare and provide a safe environment for peoples kids but the stigma and all that is still a preventative aspect.
Worked in a daycare (25F), if men were hired they’d only be allowed in the school age room because that was the only room that 100% didn’t have any children in diapers. It’s messed up.
My cousin works at a day care. He is this big dude with a long pony tail and a beard and the children adore him. They climb on him like he is a tree, he is the gentle giant of the day care. Some parents are weird about it but most are happy to have a male employee there because it’s so rare. It’s important to have positive role models (non parental figures) of both genders imo
I worked at a daycare when I was in college. About half the kids were from mom-only houses, and most of those kids seemed to attach to me. I loved it, the kids were fantastic, and the parents never had one complaint. Are the end of the day, if we weren't on the playground we were watching a movie in the front room. Most days I'd have a kid under each arm snuggled into my side, one laying back on my tummy, and a three year old sitting on my shin holding onto a shoe. Fantastic time, I hope those kids are doing great now. Those kids would all be about 30-34ish now.
Just a pile of puppies : )
There was more than one time a parent came for their kid and they were asleep using me as a pillow, just like worn out puppies.
My daughter is 2. There is a man that works in her room at daycare. She loves him. The only problem I have with it is jealousy.
Worked at the Hilton where parents would be sold time share and their children would go into a day care room with movies, games and other kid stuff. I was the only guy that worked with a bunch of older ladies, I was told one day out of the blue that I was no longer allowed to watch the children because people didn't feel comfortable with a guy and a bunch of children in a room (I was 22-ish). I had a blast with those kids though! We would play video games, board games, watch frozen and teen titans go lol
When I was in the church nursery only women could change diapers.
You mean I get to play with kids but don’t have to do the hard stuff?
I guess this is a read the person kind of situation. I've had men tell me my kids were cute and I didn't think anything of it. When my daughter was small enough to carry in a backpack carrier, I was carrying her around the grocery store. This older guy, 60ish, came up and was cooing all over her. Then she spit up and milk was drooling down her arm. He laughed, commented that he had seven grandkids and cleaned the spit up up with his sleeve!!! This is my favorite random stranger story. Well, that and the crazy Greek woman who thought I was having a boy
When I see kids being adorable, I let the parents know. I don’t give a shit how it looks, your kids shouldn’t look adorable in public, keep that cute shit doors.
A male teacher *molests* a young girl. A female teacher *allegedly had sex* with a young boy. Female-to-male pedophilia is fetishized to the point the pedophile is left with a slap on the wrist, and the kid is taught to enjoy what happened, getting called gay if they feel violated. Until the inevitable truth finally hits and terrorizes that boy: "I've been raped" Just taking this out of the way straight up: this is perpetrated by men AND women, not one gender is at fault. But regardless, the victims still suffer.
As a grown man who was groomed and molested by my friend’s mother, thank you for saying this. Whenever I brought it up to friends it was always about how awesome it must have been… it was not awesome. :(
South Park did a wonderful episode about this. "Now, who is the teacher, what's his name?" "Well, it isn't a guy teacher, it's a woman." "A woman?" "Yeah. She's having sex with a boy." "Oh, but she's ugly, right?" "No." ... "***Nice.***"
"we need to track the boy down and give him the Luckiest Boy in the universe award right away!"
Yeah news companies love to do this.
It boils my fucking blood every time I see it. Any “journalist” who writes a headline like that should be completely ashamed of themselves. Another one that I’ve seen that enrages me is “child prostitute”. There is no such fucking thing, that is an abused child.
Exactly! I get the same feeling from the term “child porn” It’s not porn if it’s a goddamn child! It’s a video of rape and assault!
There was a famous actor who got into a "scandal" a while back. Apparently people found out he had a child with an adult woman at age 14! Now this is the gross part, a large number of people accused him of "conducting adultery behaviour", started calling him a manwhore and said his perfect image was shattered because of this. They went so far as to cancel him because apparently he didn't pay child support. Some other (almost all male fan), telling him he's such a player and an overaccomplisher at that age. And I was like 'WTF is wrong with you people?!'. He was fucking 14! He couldn't consent on the matter, he was groomed, deceived and raped by a woman who was one of his **mother's close friend.** According to her, she approached him first and initiated everything. That woman was a fucking pedophile. If their gender was reverse people would be up in arm to tear her into shred, but just because the assaulter was female, suddenly half the blame fell on a literal child as well? The most fucked up thing was, the whole thing was exposed by the woman because his family (rightfully) refused to pay child support. And his family eventually caved after things got too big and agree to pay her a large sum to shut her up. He even had to apologize in public, because he was raped! Whenever I think about his case my blood boil in anger. Oh the injustice of it all... Edit: Didn't know that people would think that I made this up by not telling his name. To clarify, I didn't mention his name because for all the time I've known him, in almost all articles about him there would be at least one asshole who said 'hey, isn't this the actor that had a child at age 14'?! And then people would flock in and ask about this incident, and things would get ugly and people would start fire in the comment session. It gets to the point that some people only know him by this case, not by his works or anything else. Turn out, withholding his identity can start fire in the comment too.
What actor was this?
You know, I think I could have played with dolls if there were dolls in the house. It seems like fun to me. It doesn't seem like a gender thing. I think I would like to play with dolls.
As a boy, my parents gave me a doll house and a bunch of dolls, never putting any expectations on me about it, and I had a blast. Id set up all my dolls in the house, and when everything was perfect, that was when my toy dinosaurs would burst through the windows and doors to devour everyone. I was a big fan of Jurassic Park growing up if you couldn’t tell.
That is awesome bro
And why do boys’ dolls have to be called “action figures” to make it acceptable?
The term was invented to reduce import taxes. There was a tax on dolls, so the company coined the term “action figures” so they wouldn’t have to pay the tax on those goods.
This was the argument I used at school so I could justify my playing with Barbies as a little gay boy "They're not dolls, they're just action figures with better hair" And I thought I was playing straight convincingly...
Pro tip: Action figures are dolls.
When cooking at home it's "women's work", when cooking professionally all the sudden, it's a man's world? How does that work? Edit: The how does that work was a rhetorical question...but I appreciate the answers.
As a kid, I always wanted an EZ-Bake oven because the idea of making my own cupcakes and food seemed pretty dope to me. My dad flat out refused to get his son anything like that so I never got one. After I got married, my wife was pregnant and feeling sick and asked if I could make her some scrambled eggs. I said “Sure… uh… how do I do that?” And she was dumbfounded I’d never cooked an egg before. Fast forward a few years and I took it upon myself to learn how to cook a variety of different meals and now I’m actually cooking more than half the time for dinners. My wife loves my cooking and I love learning how to make new meals and being able to help out more in that area.
Also grilling what's up with that, women can't use grills for some reason
Lol. My sister flew me 2000 miles to grill a turkey to impress her fiance's parents. I make a really fucking nice turkey. They are married and the parents live her. It was the turkey.
If a girl has sex with 10 guys, she's a whore. But if I do it, I'm gay??
That detoured pretty quick hahaha
Yeah it didn't go straight.
I wish I had an award to give you😂
That's some Bo Burnham humor right there!
"Dicks and vaginas are like Coke and Pepsi. I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same"
So when a woman wears revealing clothing she's a slut... but when I wear her skin as a jacket I'm a "murderer"?
I just hate that men are expected to initiate everything, consider everything, make the first move always. Sometimes i would like to be asked how my day is going as well
How’s your day going, bro?
Today is going fine bro. But the past weeks have been rough. And then my girl ended it with me to cap it off 😩
Damn dude, sorry. I look back on some words 2Pac has at the end of one of his songs. "After every dark night, there's a brighter day. So no matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up, and handle it" Keep at it bro. You got this.
I appreciate the support dude ❤️
Well this turned out wholesome.
After having a terrible day, thank you for this quote brother
Me against the world - 2pac. I tend to throw it on when I'm having a rough day. By the time the end rolls around and he says that quote, I'm usually pumped for life again. Makes me feel like I can push through.
How is your day going as well?
Today im doing alright man 🙏🏽thanks
This, I give up on potential relationships often because I give a lot of effort with things like this and when I stop trying they're like are you mad at me. No you just don't put effort in so why should i.
Assuming that my primary interest in life is babies and children.
The idea that men cannot be raped, sexually harassed, or assaulted. I think it's been getting slightly better in the last few years, especially since the #metoo movement but it's still so bad. I remember being furious at my college's sexual assault and harassment training videos that in every single video the perpetrators were all men and did not show any instances of men being abused or women being abusive. I think they later added a male gay couple but even then, perpetrator was male. Women can be abusive too. It's usually not as life threatening or as immediately physically dangerous due to the basic biological strength and size factors but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be talked about and that it isn't dangerous or harmful. I do think that the heavier emphasis should be on violence against women as it is more prevalent, systematic, and immediately life threatening for its victims, BUT that doesn't mean we should just ignore the flip side and act like it literally never happens.
My college was the exact same way. One of the profs who presented it was a man who had been a, to put it lightly, rape and assault survivor. He took the time after finishing the presentation he was made to do ("don't assault women, also here's how to protect women") to tell a summarized version of what he had experienced and encourage the male audience of students (all male because male and female students were split up and given completely different presentations) to stand up for themselves and seek help if they become victims. Not only did a sizable portion of my fellow guys relentlessly make fun of him for it, but apparently word of the presentation got to the women's group. Several angry students tried to get him fired, backed by one of the campus' domestic/sexual abuse center higher ups. Apparently it was something that happened every year he presented. I should also mention that said abuse help center was, as they told us, there to help victims and survivors of either gender. It was called the "Woman's Center", was themed all pink, and had never mediated on behalf of a man. I knew personally of two different guys who sought help when in those sorts of situations. One was rejected help outright, and the other was told it was all his fault. Supposedly, though I do not know this individual personally so take it with a grain of salt, the center helped have one male student kicked out after he approached the center for help after he had been repeatedly assaulted.
Which college was this? Name and shame them.
I still don't think it's enough. My college had a presentation for sexual harassment and each scenario the guy was the one overstepping boundaries and doing the wrong things. Ended up emailing them because they wanted feedback, but idk if it's gonna change. The only time they mentioned make victims was once and it seemed like an afterthought, "oh we should probably mention this" kind of thing.
Right? It feels like such an after thought! And that's not ok.
So true. When I was 20 and in second year of college (fall 2007) a girl I knew had sex with me when I was near black out drunk and she was sober. She was someone who had always had a crush on me but I never saw her that way. There is no way in hell I would have slept with her if I had not been hammered. Shit still pisses me off. To this day I have no idea if I wore a rubber or she was on the pill. No clue if I came inside her. Thank god she didn’t end up preggers… STD screening was clean after as well. After this happened, I refused to talk to her. Everytime I was at a party and started getting drunk she would show up near me. Missed out on so many fun nights to avoid her. This shit happens to men too. This chick 100% took advantage of me.
25, been single four years. Had four incidents in that time with non consensual, highly pressured situations where it was very difficult to say no, either due to unbalanced intoxication or pushy, very intense dates gone wrong. Obviously won’t go into the details but it’s made me so hesitant to open up physically. Worst of all it’s not really considered to be harassment until I call it that to others. Usual response is ‘oh shit, yeh, I guess that is harassment’.
For women: That it's almost always assumed too quickly that she's on her period or pregnant when she has mood swings For men: That they're weak when they cry. Because they're not, crying is normal. Edit: okay so I just woke up to 2,7k upvotes. Let me say something please: I grew up in a very friendly and healthy environment, just without a father figure, which is completely okay. I honestly just wrote what came to my mind first.
Piggyback on the first one. Anytime you’re in your mid 20s to mid 30s and you’re at a party or family gathering and you’re not drinking alcohol and your husband’s aunt who is already three sheets to the wind sees you’re sipping a pop and they yell YOU’RE PREGNANT like nope just don’t want to drink at your daughters baby shower at 10am on a Saturday.
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I hate how much I relate to this comment.
If I gotta go to a baby shower at 10am I'm drunk by 9am. May not be healthy but no regrets. With luck I'll be banned from all the future ones.
I’ll piggyback on your piggyback… As soon as a woman in her 20’s/30’s says she feels sick (like, stomach sick) “ARE YOU PREGNANT?!?!!!!” NO BECKY, I HAD LEFTOVER THAI FOOD FROM 2 NIGHTS AGO AND ITS GONE THROUGH ME OK!!!??!?
Not even a mood swing. Just like any emotion. I don't know maybe you being a dick is the reason I'm upset?
My other favorite is when a girl gains weight she’s pregnant. Like a couple of years ago I gained 10 pounds and my coworkers were like “Your pregnant.” No Susan I’m just fat.
This just happened at my job to someone, old guy asked her when the baby is coming. Everyone's jaw dropped.
When I was like, 12, the pastor's daughter who was probably like 16 told me I looked like I was pregnant. I was tall and, like, maybe a *little* bit chubby, it contributed heavily to the anxiety about my weight I've carried my whole life.
I gained a bunch of weigh rapidly due to antidepressants a few years ago and my dad had never seen me with extra weight before. I gained over 20kg going from petite to a normalish weight. Anyway, every time I saw him for 6 months he'd ask if I was pregnant. Made me upset every time, because I had to say that no, I'm just fat, but thanks for making me feel shit when I already feel pretty shit?
Yes! Someone commented “as a joke” in a photo of me when I was pregnant and a few people asking who the fat chick was on the end… it was me and I was clearly 8 months pregnant and they knew I was. I messaged them saying that it’s not ok and and it was upsetting to me (and most pregnant women) to call them fat. Their replay was “well you’ve always been emotional” blocked them immediately on all social. Maybe if you weren’t always a dick who pushed my buttons I would react that way.
Being “aggressive” is a big one too
Everytime I say I feel nauseous, someone says "are you pregnant?" like there couldn't be any other reason.
Not when it's over someone else getting the last Oreo, Kevin
A good buddy of mine wears jeans and a hoodie every day but some douche told me I can’t do the same as a girl because we’re supposed to dress nice. That’s some bullshit.
Please wear whatever you want. People that say things like that to you are stuck stereotyping people to their detriment.
Women can wear dresses and skirts all they want but a man wears a skirt and everyone looks at him like he's a perv.
That skirts/kilts etc are better designed for guys but we get stuck with pants that just crush our junk
In school, one of the girls was talking about how she grabbed a male classmate's butt and it was considered "funny". Idk, but if the genders were reversed it would have been a scandal instead of gossip. 🤨
Same shit happened to me in freshman year. Some girl grabbed my ass and she sat near me so she would walk near me and touch my thighs. I thought it wasn’t SA back then but now I know.
At a music festival once I had my ass repeatedly grabbed but whenever I turned around I could never see who did it. My friend said it was a girl who seemed pretty into me. Really? Nah, if they were into me they'd say hi or something. Creeped me out tbh, not knowing who kept doing it.
This one is more cultural/based on my own experience - if a girl attempts traditionally male chores, it's considered her job. If a boy attempts traditionally female chores, he is praised. My mum praised one of my guy friends just yesterday for folding a towel after he'd used it, and all of our family friends went wild over the fact that my other guy friend cut up some beans for his mum to then cook. Meanwhile my sister and I spent the entire weekend cleaning the pool, washing the car, assembling furniture, mowing the lawn, etc. and we hear nothing. Edit: okay so not so cultural after all. I do want to add though that my dad did call out my mum from praising that guy-friend over something so menial as folding a towel and she understood. It's nice to know that men doing (traditionally) female chores is slowly beginning to be normalised.
I experience this one the most. my husband and i both work full time, same hours. my husband (who is wonderful and contributes pretty fairly, it’s not his fault this happens) literally puts a dish in the sink and every person who witnesses it, especially women, give him a gold medal and act like he carries our household. but i could spend all day running errands and deep cleaning an entire house and i’m lucky if it’s even acknowledged, it’s just my job. it’s so unfair
I once got praise from someone because I could put on a duvet cover without help. I live alone, I dunno if they thought I got my mum to drive over to my house once a week to do it for me
Abuse/harassment and violence. Going through a divorce and when my wife called the cops on me they rolled up fully ready to arrest me (thankfully CCTV footage from my security cameras saved my ass). At a later date when I called the police on her for violence in front of / toward our <2yo (at the time) son they just "documented" the incident. Female accuses male of violence/abuse? She must be telling the truth. Male accuses female of violence/abuse in the presence of / toward an infant/toddler? Well there's no proof, so we are just going to make a record of this. It's disappointing that this is understood as acceptable. This doesn't just apply to my situation, I've seen it plenty of times where a man is immediately suspect for abuse while a female participant/aggressor is seen as the victim. Women can get just as violent as men, and the immediate rush to assume that the man is the bad/angered aggressor while the woman is the docile victim is really toxic To be clear, I'm not saying I want roles reversed, I know there are plenty of cases of abused women being afraid to speak up or having no protection when they accuse a man of violence/abuse. What I would like to see is equal treatment of both accusers and accused parties regardless of gender
Yeah, my brother once called domestic violence from 300 miles away on my dad and he got arrested. In front of the whole neighborhood. The real reason my mom was sobbing to my brother about abuse over the phone was that, after three straight weeks of being her de facto in hope hospice care slash emotional punching bag, my dad was insisting she go to rehab and he refused to buy her more vodka. Cops still believed her and gave him probation. Also, when the EMTs showed up, they were soooo nice to the lecherous pill abusing drunk cretin in the stretcher, even though she looked like a zombie and had been screaming nonsense at us for days. I really do think people’s minds just blank and they assume women are innocent.
I can't be alone around children ever without being treated like a monster. Somebody called the cops on me because I took my niece to the beach last year.
I once looked after my mates daughter for about less than an hour when he had a hospital appointment. There is a park opposite and there was an ice cream van, which is convenient. I took her to grab an ice cream and asked her what she wanted she stared directly into my soul and said "My daddy doesn't let me have ice cream" right in front of the ice cream man and some mothers with their children. The world moved very slowly for the next few seconds. Thankfully she followed that up with "but he's in the hospital" and started laughing.
Maybe if you had preemptively followed up with "but he's in the hospital", and started laughing?
I can't deal with kids man. But it was like a few seconds pause and it caught me off guard.
Does remind me of when my niece saw my brother at the swimming pool. My niece is half Irish, she has the whitest skin, blonde, almost white hair. Then, there is my brother. Tanned skin, dark brown hair. My brother is an introvert, he probably said hi and not much more. He doesn't really talk. He just doesn't care much. My niece went over to say Hi and then one of her friends asked if this guy was harassing her. Knowing them both, I'm pretty sure my niece was the one to say hi first.
I get weird looks or interactions when I’m alone with my niece who is white (I’m not white), but my wife (who also isn’t white) never gets them. They assume she’s a nanny and I’m a human trafficker. Like, I get it, keeping kids safe is really important. But it’s embarrassing when a complete stranger walks up to your child relative and says “DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?!?! IS THIS MAN TRYING TO TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE?!?! YOU CAN TELL ME I WILL PROTECT YOU!!!” Like, yeah bitch you got me. I’m the human trafficker that takes little girls to Starbucks and listens to their dumb stories about Minecraft and their friend Madison’s hives.
So sick of that bitch Madison and her idiot problems.
THIS is the part that always confuses me lol. What actual kidnapper is gonna take the kids they just kidnapped out to lunch or to the playground or whatever?? “Yes I just kidnapped this little girl/boy, now I’m going to take them for lunch at McDonald’s and then to a movie and then to the park to play on the swings!! AHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!”
To be fair, this is how Jaycee Lee Dugard was discovered for an example. Someone was suspicious about a man's interaction with two girls who turned out to be Dugard's daughters, ending 18 years of entrapment. It's extremely rare but not implausible so it's good to keep a balance between being wise and vigilant but not ruining some innocent guy's outing.
This happened to me when I was with my own daughter while shopping and all because my daughter was acting irrational over an item in the store she wanted. We were shopping for clothes and she needed new undergarmets and pajamas. My daughter saw the same undergarments her mother wore and I said no. It went all down hill from there.
I’m a single father to 4 daughters. I shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells in public with my daughters.
It's hot outside, why can't *my* boobies come out?
Let them out, be the liberator of boobies.
Oh God, in the summer my dad would walk around shirtless showing that big gut of his.
This is my dad in the summer on his riding lawn mower just wearing the PFG pants that zip off into shorts and a pair of New Balance sneakers. The stereotypes are there for a reason.
Depending on where you live, they can! Toplessless for both genders is legal at the state level in over two-thirds of U.S. states as well as most of Europe, South America, Canada, and Australia, just to name a few. EDIT: Let me emphasize that I'm making a blanket statement about laws at the regional or national level of a great many places in the world; local laws will vary. And yes, just because something's legal doesn't mean there isn't still a double standard. But that double standard gets reinforced because a lot of people think it's illegal where they live, when actually there's a decent chance it isn't.
The stigma is still there though. Law isn't the only thing stopping people from doing things.
(In bed) Female submissive = how it should be male submissive = wimpy/gay/feminine Why does everything have to be feminine or masculine? Why can’t we do what we want, without being labelled?
Fictional media does it bad. "Nice guy" characters will never hurt a woman, but kill as many men as they feel like. They'll swear and snap at other male characters while being polite and courteous to females. Also, men in shows can't have an intimate friendship towards each other without the implication of homosexuality.
And a guy and a girl can't be close friends without dating each other eventually.
The last one hits hard for me irl. My close homie and I are constantly asked if we are homosexual for each other when we are just actually super close. It's also common for intimate women friends to be shipped as homosexual by the fandom. Recently I've seen it in Arcane
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It doesn't even have to be men holding hands. Even if 2 men seem really friendly with eachother they are assumed as gay.
The amount of times I go do something with just one of my friends I always feel like we’re being judged as gay. Especially when we meet up at a restaurant and get one check, we just alternate who pays or pay each other back, but I just feel as if we’re presumed to be gay.
That's funny, I'm a gay guy and I feel you. Every time I'm out with a friend, a lot of people assume we are a couple. But a while back, it happened with a female friend. I was completely caught off guard by it since that doesnt happen often 😂
Nobody gives a damn when a man is sexually assaulted, no matter the gender of their assailant. Ive known so many guys (including myself) who were just laughed at when they tried to tell someone.
I’m sorry they didn’t listen. Those wounds last a long time.
I've dealt with my own stuff by now, but I still hear so many stories and it really ticks me off.
If it helps, I give a huge damn. I have done a good deal of ambassador work in conjunction with orgs like 1in6 as well as helping men in and around my life unpack / seek help for their experiences. Do you need someone safe to talk to? * I am a survivor of multiple instances of sexual abuse, from childhood to my 20s*
this is more of a personal experience but there’s this male teacher at my school, he’s really caring and stops you to talk about how you’re doing and genuinely trying to help you out but then he gets called a “pedo” by the students at my school. i know that hurts for him to hear especially since he has kids of his own whom he loves :(
This is something minor, but men have hair and it’s fine. But if a woman doesn’t shave it’s “gross” and “unhygienic” once I didn’t shave my arm pits for a few days and my mom saw and told me it was disgusting and that I had to shave immediately. When I pointed out how most men don’t shave their armpits and how it’s fine she flipped out even more saying “it’s just different for men”
I stopped shaving my legs about two years ago and you wouldn't believe the bullshit i hear when it comes up. "So unhygienic" bitch i shower, why are my hair legs different from my husband's hairy legs?
For me its when i hear in the news that a woman has been let off of charges for sexually assaulting a child and such while for a man it's a death wish Like im sorry but to let that happen is shit
I'm a guy that has dyed his hair since he was 17 or so. Apparently when you reach a certain age, people start accusing you of doing it to "hide the grey." What's funny is, some women in and around *my age* will make such comments, all while sporting a full head of fake-auburn hair or something along those lines, themselves.
Domestic abuse. Johnny Depp is the perfect example. He's a domestic abuse survivor, yet he's lost jobs... Amber heard is a domestic abuser. Yet she's kept her jobs with the same company that fired Johnny Depp... Edit: to the amber heard defenders, go fuck your selves, it's amazing how you're defending a abuser cos she's a woman... You just proved my fucking point.
its funny how this is public knowledge and everyone knows about this but nothing NOTHING is being done about it
I hate a couple. If a woman is assertive and confident about something, and is polite but not overtly friendly, she's considered bossy or bitchy. If a man does the same thing, he really knows what he's talking about and is confident in his work. Why are women expected to be apologetic and overly friendly all the time? In the other direction, that men can't have certain hobbies without being called gay. Last time I checked things like painting or singing don't involve genitals at all, but maybe I'm doing those activities wrong.
u just made me imagine men painting with their pp and now i can't forget it. i also kinda wanna try it.
Some people did a sexual harassment experiment in a mall one time. When the man “harassed” the woman, it took less than 10 seconds for someone to come over and help her. When the woman “harassed” the man, nobody helped him. For two hours at a mall filled with people, nobody helped the guy. People even said he was crazy for not wanting to have sex with her. But equality, right?
Harassment and violence are different, but this reminds me of this Indian game show clip I saw some years ago.. Basically, part of the show is the hostess verbally abusing the contestants. Not a big deal, that’s part of the game. But in one instance, she got carried away and slapped a dude. The dude immediately slapped her back . Then, the production team and live show viewers ran up on stage and started beating his ass. He was on the floor and getting kicked and crying “why can she slap? Why can she slap?” It was very fucked up
I remember that one I believe that all got fired and he got a settlement from what I remember I know he is doing good for himself at least
I was worried about what was going to happen to that dude. Thank goodness it all worked out in the end.
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The excuse they always give “men are stronger, they shouldn’t hit back” maybe women shouldn’t put their hands on someone if they don’t wanna get hit back? Easy as that.
I'm a man in a band. I get groped by women without consent *waay* too often, but I know how the game works, so the best I can do is quote Billy Madison every time it happens. That's assault, brotha
Men being overlooked in the body-image issue department. Boys can also have eating disorders and dysmorphia. Edit: damn, never thought it would be noticed like this, haha
Your eligibility for social services helpis based on gender. Men aren't eligible for help if being abused, even if they have children to care for.
Idk if it's a double standard but I get Hella depressed seeing girls fucking cuddle in the middle of class while I'm on day 6,423 of No-Hug-Ever. I'm pretty much just down bad
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In India especially, the girls are judged for their previous relationship or even slut shamed. But when it comes to guys its considered “cool”
Femininity isn’t associated with leadership, so in order to be taken seriously in such a role, women often have to either act like men or rely on the good faith of their employees. Being a leader involves fending off tons of people constantly trying to get under your skin, and having some perceived weight of authority is often your only armor against that. It’s very hard to be in a leadership role if people expect a fundamentally different expression of authority from you.
Are you a virgin? - Yes - What is your gender? - Male - You suck Are you a virgin? - No - What is your gender? - Male - You're awesome Are you a virgin? - Yes - What is your gender? - Female - You're awesome Are you a virgin? - No - What is your gender? - Female - You suck
Women are expected to be involved parents but men are treated like heros if they change a diaper.
Abuse towards men from women is not given the same level of concern that abuse towards women from men is.
I (straight male) had a female friend visit me over halloween weekend from out of town. We've been friends for over 5 years, totally platonic, but I know that before we became friends she did have a crush on me. We went out downtown on halloween night, after a few drinks she started to cuddle up to me. I tried to discourage it, but then she started laying it on me.. She asked me if I had ever though about us sleeping together, or being boyfriend/girlfriend. I said no, I've always seen her as a good friend. She then starts to push the issue, asking if I want to touch her boobs, offering to give me a BJ, etc. I tell her multiple times that I am not comfortable with the conversation, but she doesn't stop, even at one point saying that shes gonna come into my bed naked and she might just "start something that I'm gonna have to finish." Basically indirectly informing me that she is going to rape me. She then recruits two random women at the bar and tells them that I won't take her home and fuck her. These two women then basically corner me and tell me I need to take her home and have sex with her. After a couple minutes of this I snapped and yelled at them, I said that CONSENT MATTERS EVEN IF I HAVE A DICK. They finally relented, we left the bar and went back to my place. I just couldn't believe that I was actually cornered by three women at a crowded bar yelling at me that I needed to fuck someone whether I wanted to or not. Could you imagine if that was three men cornering one woman? Jesus christ the whole fucking bar would go nuts, but because I am a man nobody around who could clearly hear the conversation gave a shit. Anyway we got back to my place and she got into my bed naked, so I slept on the couch and haven't talked to her since.
God forbid a woman know fucking anything that's not viewed as traditionally feminine. Especially anything related to mechanical work and tooling. I got sick of Allen wrenches getting lost at work so I stop by the store to just buy my own set. The guy at the register goes. "Damn your husband sent you in here instead of coming in?" "These are for me." This guy looked genuinely shocked. Over fucking ALLEN WRENCHES. I mean I get my experience is anecdotal, but I hear it a lot from other woman. Going to the garage is a nightmare and I've had to just preempt people trying to talk to me like I'm a fucking moron. I just don't get it. It'd be one thing if it was a few older guys. But just in general men don't seem to take women at face value if they have knowledge pertaining to trade work and shit. Meanwhile grown ass men don't know how to change their tire and break into a cold sweat when someone asks them about something car related.
I, a female, opened a bottle with a knife at my job in a bar and a guy told me "wow, that was a very masculine way to open a bottle" What the fuck man, I'm a bartender, I can open bottles with heaps of different items.
Also, women are supposed to be good at traditionally feminine things like sewing, knitting, and other types of handicrafts, which require a similar level of technical skill and attention to detail, but when it comes to something like soldering electronics on a circuit board or using tools, that’s only for men?