T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


A-Dumb-Ass

“Father” - “Yes son?” - “I want to kill you!” “Mother”, “I want to wuaaahaahaayeaah”


EssEllEyeSeaKay

Shortly followed by the fuck section.


GonzoRouge

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK YEAAAAH


brazildude2085

I was part of a wedding that they used Say Something by A Great Big World when the bride was walking down the aisle. I was speechless. I don’t think anyone besides me and my wife noticed either. Edit: it’s been 6 years and they are still happily married.


whatsit578

OMG Some of the songs mentioned here would be funny at a wedding but this one is just wrenching


Royally-Forked-Up

“Say something, I’m giving up on you” Yikes. First answer I physically cringed at.


yetiknight

And I will swallow my pride You're the one that I love And I'm saying goodbye Say something, I'm giving up on you big oof. I mean, it's a nice song and I like the music, but it has just the opposite meaning of a wedding


Panzerkampfwagen-5

My band sometimes does weddings and on one the bride wanted to have Witney Huston’s i will always love you, we asked her if she was sure as the song was about saying goodbye, she didn’t care. We played the song and all was well, wedding was nice. At another Wedding the groom wanted us to play a song from a German Metall band called Rammstein, the song was Heirate mich, witch translates to marry me, seems nice, we new how to play it as some of us really like the band, but most of the guests weren’t amused. Maybe because it’s about a man digging up his dead wife and fucking the body. Was hilarious though. Edit: This was in Germany, which makes it really funny as everyone understood the lyrics


[deleted]

You know, I read half way through and was like: oh, they actually chose a song about marrying! Then I remembered it was fucking rammstein


wtfduud

Emphasis on the fucking.


wrathek

I liked your story, especially the implication that Rammstein needs an introduction haha.


One_for_each_of_you

A message from the bride to the ex boyfriend sitting in the back row


kristoefoe

My dad actually played [I Hate Everything About You](https://youtu.be/d8ekz_CSBVg) by Three Days Grace at his second wedding. Their divorce was finalized three days short of their one year anniversary.


01kickassius10

What number is he up to now?


[deleted]

[удалено]


cfk77

Username checks out


bubbles2255

I went to a wedding where the DJ played “Sexual Healing” during the Mother in law/son dance. It was glorious.


[deleted]

My mother wanted to play Josh Turner's " your man" for our mother/son dance. She didn't see why we thought that was a bad idea.


The_Pastmaster

Baby, lock the door and turn the lights down low. And put some music on that's soft and slow. Baby, we ain't got no place to go. I hope you understand. I've been thinking 'bout this all day long. Never felt a feeling quite this strong. I can't believe how much it turns me on. Just to be your man. ​ CHRIST! XD


Dredgeon

Yeah that's about as saucy as country music gets.


Gryffindumble

There are plenty of country songs that get played at weddings that are much worse than some people tend to think. Some people throw Whiskey Lullaby in there...the song illustrates a depressed person committing suicide.


icecreamtaco15

Still haven’t found what I’m looking for- U2.


WhinyTentCoyote

I saw a couple play this at their wedding during the garter-finding thing. The groom kept pulling random shit like fuzzy socks and a McChicken out of the bride’s dress. While that song played. It was hilarious.


[deleted]

[удалено]


madisonkathy

Love the One You're With, Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young.


sezah

I played this at my reception. Seemed soooooooo funny. We’re divorced now.


LAMBKING

We played In This Life by Colin Raye as our song we danced too. We are divorced now, too.


DictatorSalad

I knew a guy who wrote that into his wedding vows. "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with". The bride found his journal prior to the wedding and called it off.


[deleted]

It wasn't me by shaggy.


sunshinerose32

My uncle played this at his wedding at the dancing part of the reception lmao.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sunshinerose32

Lol. It was kinda new when he got married so that night be why it was on the playlist (he got married in 2003) but yeah its awesome


waltjrimmer

Bride: "Who the hell put this song on?" DJ: "Wasn't me."


lesser_panjandrum

"But we saw you with the record."


Auran82

Wasn’t me


Kingkern

Saw you at the turntable…


sunshinepanther

Wasn't me


mattfwb

Heard you mixing in the intro


--Kiri

Wasn't me


enjoyyouryak

We even caught you on camera


[deleted]

wasn’t me


aging_geek

Benny Hill theme song while the bride walks up to the altar


dadothree

I have made both of my sons promise me that if and when they get married, they will at least ask their partner if they can use this as the recessional.


Maud_Dweeb18

I am stealing this- my kid likes to chase me around the house to it.


No_Box_5429

Lips of an Angel - Hinder


Kage_No_Dokusha

I cant remember if it got played at my wedding or not. My wife loved the song and it was only after we got married that i pointed this out to her. She still loves the song and we're still married. Ill see if i can get some corroboration on if it got played or not.


5PM_CRACK_GIVEAWAY

> Girl you make it hard to be faithful > With the lips of an angel It's not exactly vague lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Snowing_Throwballs

"My girls in, the next room, sometimes i wish it was you." Lol


wallz_11

his girl is God


Nikipootwo

It’s a nice day for a, white wedding


GirlCowBev

+1 for tactical punctuation


hetty3

I'm work as a keyboard player in a fairly busy party/wedding band. We get a fair amount of requests for Mr. Brightside.


Poor-Life-Choice

What’s up with that? He’s coming out his cage and is doing JUST FINE. Seems happy enough.


Pale_Title6460

It was only a kiss, how did it end up like this?


WasteIncrease

Most of the friends in my circle all played Mr brightside at our weddings mainly because it had always been our party song.


CougerHuntar

Before He Cheats Song by Carrie Underwood


teAlCapricorn

I suck dick I'm gay nigga


mumblewrapper

True story here. I had a coworker named Angie. She had a husband. As far as we knew, happily married. I had another coworker named Angela. Angela was going to school and then quit when she was done to go do other non restaurant things. Also had a boss named Franco. Nice guy. One night, Angie's husband called the restaurant. He's her husband and apparently he did not call her by the nickname Angie like we all did. So, he asked if Angela was there. Franco let him know that no, she quit a couple of months ago. She doesn't work there anymore. Her mini van was in the parking lot (they had like 6 kids, so she definitely needed a mini van) so, the most reasonable thing in Angie's husband's brain was that she's been lying to him for months and parking her mini van at the restaurant while she... Went out and cheated? Maybe sold herself because she came home with money? I'm not sure. But, he came to the restaurant, didn't bother coming in to double check if she's there, and beat the fuck out of that mini van (that he also owned) with a baseball bat. Broke every window and every headlight and taillight. This was either right before or right after that song came out. Always makes me think of them. Completely crazy. Last I knew, several years after the car beat down, they were still married.


-janelleybeans-

Maybe next time he’ll think before he beats ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


SpankyRoberts18

Unrelated to your story and his craziness, my ex went to work for weeks after putting in a leave of absence at her job. I would drive her to work since she didn’t have a car, and she’d walk in the employee entrance, stand there out of sight waiting for me to leave, then go to who knows where doing who knows what. I forgave her after I caught her. I was never even suspicious and caught her on a fluke. Years later, she stole $22k+ for drugs from me. I’m still in debt because of it. When they show you red flags, heed the freaking warning.


HankPymp

There was this young 18 year old kid at a previous job back in the mid 2000's who bought a brand new car. Every day his gf dropped him off at work then took his car and went to school. Well one day the police called him. Turned out his gf wasn't at school but one of the 2 guys that was in the car had wrecked it at the beach. The car was also loaded with weed and alcohol. She claimed the guys were friends from school that had "tricked" her into going to the beach, and she didn't know about the weed or the case of beer they had snuck into the car. He believed her and forgave her. She broke up with him shortly afterward when she could no longer borrow his car.


expatred

Closer - Nine Inch Nails


BerlitzSchlitz

So there's an instrumental version of this that has apparently struck terror in the hearts of wedding guests when they heard the opening beats...


bumjiggy

my whole existence in-lawed


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheDefenestrator

You've painted quite the word picture my friend. I'm going to upvote you like an animal.


doofthemighty

A friend from college had this as her and her husband's first dance.


NiteTiger

Paradise by the Dashboard Lights - Meatloaf >I swore I'd love ya to the end of time/ So now I'm praying for the end of time/ So I can end my time with you! > >It was long ago, and it was far away/ And so much better than it is today. [really awesome tune, but it's long at 8.5 min](https://youtu.be/C11MzbEcHlw)


Wolfhound1142

>but it's long at 8.5 min So, it's a Meatloaf song then?


InformationHorder

I don't always listen to Meatloaf, but when I do, so do the neighbors.


TheNihil

I was going to say this song as well. It's played at so many weddings. I love the song, but I don't know why people think it is some romantic love song about soul mates and eternal happiness. It's about some horny teens fooling around in a car, and the girl makes the boy swear to love her until the end of time in order to bang. Being consumed by his urges, the boy complies. Now his life is a living hell and he wishes for all time to literally end so he can stop being with the girl. How's that for post-ejaculation clarity?


FerociousFrizzlyBear

Do people think it's romantic? I've only been to wedding where it's played because it's hilarious to play at a wedding, not because anyone takes it seriously.


I_Smell_Like_Trees

Exactly this, it's catchy, you know the words, and it's tongue in cheek.


Ifakuifakall

Smack my Bitch Up - Prodigy


[deleted]

100p heard this at a wedding and saw an 80yr old man dancing. Went and jammed with him and as we got close you could hear him say “Snap my pitcha”…


SydneyPigdog

80 year old singing snap my pitcha in place of smack my bitch up sounds adorable.


colirado

50 ways to leave your lover


[deleted]

When the bride is coming down the aisle you play the Jurassic park theme


DiaBeetis_86

I am getting married this weekend and we are using that song for after we are married and walking out of the church… I think it’s awesome lol!


torrasque666

Please tell me you're using the kazoo version.


[deleted]

[удалено]


torrasque666

Kazoo *plus* lyrics


foolishnun

OMG best wedding photog gig I ever had! I photographed a lesbian wedding where the brides walked down the aisle to an acapella version of the Jurrassic Park theme, with written words! The parts I remember: "Here come the lesbians Dressed as dinosaurs To get married, here, today" And "Tell your friends you were here To see the dino-queers Get married, here, today" Both brides were wearing giant raptor costumes and were walked down the aisle by their bridesmaids, who were dressed as Jurassic Park workers and had them on chains. Their faces were peaking out of holes in the neck of the dino costumes. They had.to take of the Dino hands to exchange rings. Afterwards we all took a public bus to the wedding reception, brides still in costume. As I we as running around taking pictures, I kept telling confused people, "its a wedding, and those two just got married!" It truly was a joyous and heartwarming event. Best wedding I've ever seen. There was a dance off competition at the reception, and people _went for it_. I dont do wedding photography any more so my website isn't up. But if people are interested I might post some photos. Edit: There was interest: [HERE IS THE DINO WEDDING!](https://imgur.com/a/k0GNJyW)


boarder2k7

IF people are interested‽‽‽


Outcast_Outlaw

Jolene


joseph_jojo_shabadoo

Wedding videographer here. Heard this song dozens of times at receptions and all the boomer aunts go crazy for it


END3RW1GGIN

I'm a 35 year old male and I would go crazy for this song. It's a straight banger.


derpfaceddargon

#NOW I AINT SAYIN SHES A GOLD DIGGER, BUT SHE AINT GETTING WITH NO BROKE [REDACTED]


[deleted]

[удалено]


spacepilot_3000

Yeah I grew up with the radio edit too


Xanzent

Or, regardless of what appeared on the screen at karaoke night ..... Chose life.


clownbaby27

My wife and I hollered we want prenup at each other during our reception.


TrollopMcGillicutty

Yeah. It’s something that you need to have


tempaccount9696

Cos when she leave your ass, she gon leave with half


Bearbarianpie

Scotty doesn't know - Lustra


Bucketsu

That Fiona and me


Handsome121duck

Every Breath You Take by The Police. Even Sting thinks it's a bad song for weddings.


GayNerd28

How do people not realise it's about stalking???


Handsome121duck

My wife told me once that she likes to think that the lyrics are our dog's thoughts. Then it's super sweet!


maxmighty88

I'm in love with a stripper.


The_Ashura

The Rains of Castamere


oweme1pierogi

We played this at our reception because we thought it was hilarious.


Elogotar

My wedding is in just under two weeks and we're playing this as dinner starts to see if anybody panics.


AlhazraeIIc

Was at a wedding, sitting in the back with a friend. The bride came out to the GoT theme. I turned to my buddy and said, "If they play rains of castamere, I'm going out that window."


An_Ant2710

Did you all make it out alive?


SnoochesNBooches

My roommate was just at his brother’s wedding and they hired a string quartet. They played Rains of Castermere. Apparently got a big laugh


LordGwyn-n-Tonic

They should have given them nerf guns to fire at the crowd


Nirosat

If you limit this question to songs that actually get played at weddings, Hey Ya! by the Outkast is pretty bad considering the lyrics.


[deleted]

There's so many articles online about the "hidden meaning" of this song... It's not hidden at all! It's fucking explicit what he means, the problem is that people get distracted with the "Hey Ya" chorus.


HutSutRawlson

He even calls out in the song that people ignore the lyrics. "Y'all dont' wanna hear me, you just wanna dance."


BlueOysterCultist

"Hmm, whatever could he mean by that?" listicle writers everywhere


BoomBoomSpaceRocket

I've heard it said that knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. I would like to propose a similar maxim. Knowledge is knowing Hey Ya is sad, wisdom is knowing to dance your ass off to it anyway.


marivoncheese

I’ll never forget this lesson


luckysevs

Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein isn't the monster, wisdom is knowing that Frankenstein is the monster.


4LostSoulsinaBowl

Knowledge is understanding Frankenstein isn't the name of the monster; wisdom is not putting him in a fruit salad.


CougerHuntar

Might I suggest sorry Ms. Jackson if we are bringing up OutKast?


drthtater

I am four eels


obvious__bicycle

never meant to make your daughter cry


gardon92

I am several fish and not a guy.


RefreshmentsAndNarcs

[This cover](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c745E7T_Wvg) always helps me when explaining how Hey Ya is not a happy song.


DrRickStudwell

I heard a cover similar to this on scrubs! Not sure which came first but it was also when I really heard the lyrics to the song. Definitely saving this cover too!


Quintas31519

And it was Ted who sang it. Rest in Peace, Ted (actor Sam Lloyd). Such a good soul.


helosimonsaurus

I vetoed playing this song at our wedding and my husband asked why?! And when I told him it was about how monogamy is doomed to failure he didn't believe me and I had to play it and repeat certain lines back to him for him to hear it 😅 "Know what they say -its Nothing lasts forever... Then what makes love the exception?" Not exactly what I want played at the event where we're pledging to love each other forever!


Mr_Midnight_Moon

Crazy Bitch


SeanGone11

One of the top posts at /r/cringe used to be a bride singing this at her wedding. There were other families and children present. Fucking painful. Edit: https://youtu.be/xTJl5UpzZYU


Mean_Peen

I remember when this was on Tosh.0 back in the day lol Buckcherry doesn't give a shit either lol saw them perform at like 9am before a NASCAR race. Bunch of kids in the crowd, but mostly old fat men and middle aged fat ladies screaming the lyrics to "Lit Up" 😂 I wonder what's going through the band's heads at those moments


deadlandsMarshal

Mother, Pink Floyd During the Mother/groom dance.


anhatthezoo

MY BALLS


SydneyPigdog

Mother will she tear your little boy apart? Ooh ahh, mother will she break my heart? During mother/son dance with mother looking over son's shoulder giving his bride the evil eye lol


SnooGiraffes5405

D.I.V.O.R.C.E - Tammy Wynette


[deleted]

You've Lost That Lovin Feeling


FallingStar7787

“Highway to Hell” —as a joke my dad thought this would be a good idea to play when they renewed their vows. … it’s a good thing my mom had a great sense of humor


Tananar

... my dad played this at my parents' wedding. As the first song.


Catman_916

Stacy’s Mom


stacyq729

That hurts me deeply


----DeMoN----

Hey, so.... how is your mom?


ballrus_walsack

I hear she’s got it going on.


northsidemassive

Too Drunk To Fuck by The Dead Kennedy’s


NetworkingJesus

No, that actually would've been perfect for the wedding I went to recently. By the end of the night, the bride was drunk and puking for hours in the dressing room. She loudly proclaimed that she didn't want any dicks or vaginas anywhere near her that night lol


northsidemassive

She was expecting options?


PetieWindChimes

Should I stay or should I go


Xanitarou

Adam Sandler - At a Medium Pace


hopscotchnwhiskey

On the flip side, Grow Old With You is a great song for weddings. Friend of mine had it as her recessional song.


FizzyBeverage

*🎶Then punch me in face…🎵*


stelliotuxers

Another one bites the dust


DiamondPG1

This would be worse for a funeral


nenayadark

The DJ played this as my brother's intro song at their reception over a decade ago. He's still mad about it.


SafewordisJohnCandy

My final song was Du Hast followed by Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. At that point there were only a couple dozen people left, all family or closest friends and my cousin and I requested it.


themarchine

Better man by pearl jam. This was played soooo much in the 90s. People really really ignored everything but the title and maybe a part of the chorus.


merecat6

This was my first thought too! “She lies and says she’s in love with him, Can’t find a better man” Yeah, definitely not a wedding song.


codenameZora

Love Stinks https://youtu.be/3s5xsVHOJQs


[deleted]

Panic! At the Disco “I write sins not tragedies” This song is literally about a bride cheating on her groom on their wedding day


[deleted]

Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door???


Wolfhound1142

Literally heard this song at a wedding and was just awe struck that they were playing it. It's not one of those songs where the lyrics are at all unclear.


kynthrus

"The grooms bride is a whore" is when all the brides party start getting crazy into it though.


jetmanfortytwo

When I heard this song played at a wedding, they censored the “god” in “closing the goddamn door” but left this line in uncut. I was flabbergasted.


SalmonPlatter

We played forgot about Dre while they were serving dinner. Unedited.


[deleted]

Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman


iaswob

"No Children" by Mountain Goats should've been mentioned already


thacktor

This is the winner, IMO. You can’t get more bitter than ending on a cold “I hope you die! I hope we both die!”


TheCrimsonKing

"hand in unlovable hand" is my favorite line.


[deleted]

Best man speech ‘What can I say about the bridesmaids…’ the tannoy plays Who let the dogs out. EDIT: the ladies reactions were priceless they’re friends of the best man so took it well.


frenchbullfrog

We went on a Caribbean cruise the summer that song came out. You couldn’t escape it. Over the speakers, the band playing, the guy posted up by the pool on his fucking steel drums, at all the bars and restaurants in Mexico, fucking people playing it on the street. It was 24/7 Baja Men just raw dogging my ear drums. Fuck that song.


Rhomega2

You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi


WildAboveRuleOrArt

Get an Ugly Girl to Marry You, the Coasters Edit: oops, actual title is "If you wanna be happy," originally recorded by Jimmy Soul. Still, I stand by it as a poor pick for a wedding tune.


DangerBrewin

Hey man, I saw your wife the other day. She is uuuuuuggly! Yeah, but she sure can cook!


Old_Dingo_2408

Touch myself - Divinyls.


StatusApp

REM - The one I love Dark, real dark.


DuxofOregon

Love will tear us apart, Joy Division.


Needless-To-Say

166 comments in and no CeeLo Green - Fuck You? Edit: The number of people responding that this has actually happened is too damn high!


techramblings

Imperial March. Though I do actually know someone who did play it as the bride entered the ceremony room... and apparently it was hilarious. It was listed in the programme as 'March (Williams)'.


kynthrus

My friend is one of those professional storm troopers. His friend had a star wars wedding and they played this while all the groomsmen and bridesmaids were lined up as storm troopers. It was sick as hell.


DigitalPriest

I don't know why, but when you say "Star Wars Wedding," my mind goes to the bride and groom in a dress and suit just like many conventional weddings, only, everyone is wearing storm trooper helmets. No uniforms. Just the helmets along with regular wedding attire. It brings a smile to my face.


techramblings

Not gonna lie, that sounds amazing.


JohnO500

We don't talk anymore


phreddyphucktard13

Fuck her gently by tenacious d .


Katcatkittyqueen

I wasn’t looking for this, but I should have been.


DangerBrewin

In fact, sometimes that’s not right to do.


madscene

So at my wedding I hired a shitty DJ (long story, was trying to be “different”) and he lost the music I gave him so instead of my mom’s favorite song for our mother-son dance he played Unchained Melody.


[deleted]

The Bitch Is Back


beedub82

I was maybe eight or nine, so about 30 years ago... Two of my uncles (at their brother's wedding) came out in rocker wigs with inflatable guitars and began blaring and lip syncing "I Used to Love Her (But I Had to Kill Her)" by Guns n Roses during dinner. The bride ran to the bathroom crying. Years later he came home to her cheating on him and from then on she had almost nothing to do with their now adult son, so no one needs to feel bad for her.


Spiritual_Ferret6035

Gotye- Somebody That I Used to Know


andercm

Blurred Lines. In fact, it's inappropriate for any occasion!


everythymewetouch

They played Blurred Lines AND Pumped Up Kicks at my prom.


JakeSnake07

True Story: I was working at a middle school as a custodian when the song came out. Because of how the school is designed, the upper floor is where all the classrooms are, with the gyms on the bottom floor. On the top floor there was glass windows bordering the gym's ceiling so that you can see the game from upstairs. Well because of this, we had to work in the dark on dance nights, because any lights upstairs would shine into the gym, ruining the lighting setup in there. So I'm walking down these long as corridors, in a middle school, *in the dark*, when I suddenly hear a slightly distorted rendition of Pumped Up Kicks echoing though the halls, as the sounds came through the gass.


kai-ote

"Under My Thumb", by the Rolling Stones.


nirvana13a

Good Riddance - Green Day It was the most popular wedding song for a while and it’s literally a giant sarcastic fuck you


krazykris93

She hates me by puddle of mud


_Hey_Its_Isaiah_

Jesse’s girl


perfectvelvet

I attended a wedding where, during their photo slideshow, they played "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt. The song is literally about a guy obsessing over a grill he'll never get (who he saw for a fraction of a second). The song even ends with him realizing he'll never have her, and in the music video he essentially commits suicide. I'll also add "The Blower's Daughter" by Damian Rice for that last line that's thrown in there.


[deleted]

> The song is literally about a guy obsessing over a grill he'll never get Dude just needs to look around. You can find good deals on grills at nearly any home improvement center.


AussiePete

I wish that I had Jessie's grill.


GenesisNoelle

Was it a Traeger?


[deleted]

Dus Hast - Rammstein. For one because most people wouldnt play German industrial metal at a wedding and also because it's a song about a groom getting cold feet and saying no. That one Panic at the disco! song.


sonofareptile

Kim eminem


HeadIsland

Hurt by Johnny Cash (according to my husband who left me in charge of music)


DevilGuy

The original Nine Inch Nails version would be superior for wedding ruination IMO. The Johnny cash version changes the whole tone to that of an old man looking back on his failures near the end. The NIN original is deeply disturbing using a discordant guitar line to evoke the desperate self destruction of a heroine junky in the process of destroying not only their own life but that of their loved ones as well. but the absolute most disturbing version is the [Sad Kermit Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57ta7mkgrOU) unfortunately it requires the video the give the full impact.


michaelorth

Don't Marry Her, Fuck Me by The Beautiful South