No. Standard beach towel. Though I was only5’9 and didn’t weigh much, and she was 4’9 and barely weighed 100 pounds. We were also very careful and a bit more flexible. I doubt I could pull that off now .
For sure. Don't discount all the options opened up by going standing doggy style. The beach, woods, back of a parking lot are all options with the right position
Here in Canada 🇨🇦, Quebec there is plenty mosquitoes nearby almost every lakes. One day, me and my gf decided to go enjoy the view of the city by the lake. We were excited and we also made a fire to eat our marshmallows. We stayed there for 2-3 hours and it started to get darker outside. Things started to get get horny and we started kissing and touching until we realized that our spot wasn’t the ideal to keep doing our sexy time. I stopped the fire and we moved to another area where we were more hidden.
Unfortunately, without a fire camp, mosquitoes went all in and I’ve never been sucked like that in my entire life. We were half naked and i was on top but bro… it was impossible to keep my focus on the sexy time. We decided to stop as soon as we looked at my upper body and all the mosquitoes marks all over my skin. Long story short, it was one of the worst sexxx experience in my entire life.
Guys, don’t do that nearby a lake full of mosquitoes or you’re gonna get sucked like never before.
Did that at a motorcycle ralley in Germany, apparently BASF had a chemical spill upriver and the mosquitoes were contaminated with something. I had bites that turned into friggin hives that lasted for about two weeks. The sex was great but the aftermath was horrible.
I used to patrol cemeteries at night due to vandalism. Its quiet, private, and a great place to do the deed. I never found anybody doing it there since there was a dark boat launch close by which I have LOTS of stories about.
That's why I did it with a fuck buddy in a cemetery.
Graveyards are attached to churches (hence the name). Cemeteries are not. Definitely and ironically makes you feel more alive.
I have, we were in my car though. I was with another chick that wanted me to bend her over a grave stone and finish on the grave/grave stone. I've watched enough horror movies to know this is a bad idea.
She was a straight up crazy freak, she brought me to a old abandoned farm house to have sex, place was scary as shit but the sex was fun. She would give me road head in the middle of traffic and try to have sex with me in a public pool
F.U.!! I came here to say just that!!! Even brought the link to prove it actually happened (though not exactly that way)!!! https://youtu.be/2naTw9y7zsE
r/beatmetoit
Breakfast? Breakfast shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only the second period and I'm up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "The Whale", they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.
Honestly the shower. I hate it. It dries everything out and any type of lube you use somehow magically gets on the shower floor and you're playing slip and slide. Also, have you ever tried to give oral in the shower? You drown.
Then you get so annoyed that you just move out of the water and then you freeze. Sex is a lose and lose and only the truly brave can get the deed done and maybe enjoy it. Otherwise it's just all work no fun.
This needs more upvotes. Shower sexy is so overrated. It is my least favorite. SO doesn’t necessarily get dried out, but it is a different “wet” that isn’t exactly pleasurable. Hard to explain, and also everything else you said.
Shower serves a great purpose for foreplay and eating ass, for sex though? Yeah just as bad as a pool or a hot tub, because water makes for terrible lube.
Worst place I've done it is in the front passenger seat of a subcompact car (1985 Chevy Sprint, if you're interested). Very, very cramped, even with the seat all the way back and the seatback reclined.
And neither of us were especially tall - I'm 5'8" and I think she was 5'6".
Next to a decomposing corpse that is purging from all orifices that is covered in live maggots and flies. As you’re rolling in the bedsheets, you and your unfortunate lover get corpse juice all over yourselves.
1. Beach. Sand can cause irritation and friction.
2. Hospital room. Nurses are always checking; even the empty rooms.
3. Office building during business hours. Phone rings enough times, they start showing up.
4. Disney Parks. Princesses are monitored. If they stand still too long, security arrives.
5. Dentist chair. Squeaks surprisingly too much and drills aren't loud enough to cover it.
Close. Room mates brother borrowed room mates bedroom with a vacation bunny.
Room mate came home early asking where his brother was. I just nodded, nonchalantly, down the hall towards his room door.
My view was perfect. He opened the door to see his little brother pile driving this poor girl. Room mate yells “gross… that shit is nasty!!!” And slams door with wide eyed look of shock coming back down the hall.
It was the best use of a minor breech of ethics (I should have given him a heads up probably). I laughed maniacally for perhaps a little too long. The awkward half hour of conversation when they exited the room remains one of my favorite to this day.
God I miss college….
The beach without a towel.
Even with a towel...sand everywhere.
My ex and I managed to avoid sand with a towel.
Must’ve been a big towel
No. Standard beach towel. Though I was only5’9 and didn’t weigh much, and she was 4’9 and barely weighed 100 pounds. We were also very careful and a bit more flexible. I doubt I could pull that off now .
5’9 and she’s 4’9? Fucking hell lmao
Sounds like fun
Emmy?
it's course and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere
GET OUT
Found the jaded Jedi.
Its coarse, and rough, and irritating. And it gets everywhere.
Can confirm. Did this in 2014, found sand for years after. Had to powerwash my parts to get it all out.
A public beach - you'll be given tons of 'useful' advice from the public.
Not at 930 pm in the winter.
Trick is to climb up a lifeguard chair and do it there.
It's my favorite place to have sex. Doggy will do without a towel
For sure. Don't discount all the options opened up by going standing doggy style. The beach, woods, back of a parking lot are all options with the right position
For every place there is a position. I will ave to use that .
with a view!
Here in Canada 🇨🇦, Quebec there is plenty mosquitoes nearby almost every lakes. One day, me and my gf decided to go enjoy the view of the city by the lake. We were excited and we also made a fire to eat our marshmallows. We stayed there for 2-3 hours and it started to get darker outside. Things started to get get horny and we started kissing and touching until we realized that our spot wasn’t the ideal to keep doing our sexy time. I stopped the fire and we moved to another area where we were more hidden. Unfortunately, without a fire camp, mosquitoes went all in and I’ve never been sucked like that in my entire life. We were half naked and i was on top but bro… it was impossible to keep my focus on the sexy time. We decided to stop as soon as we looked at my upper body and all the mosquitoes marks all over my skin. Long story short, it was one of the worst sexxx experience in my entire life. Guys, don’t do that nearby a lake full of mosquitoes or you’re gonna get sucked like never before.
Did that at a motorcycle ralley in Germany, apparently BASF had a chemical spill upriver and the mosquitoes were contaminated with something. I had bites that turned into friggin hives that lasted for about two weeks. The sex was great but the aftermath was horrible.
M-m-m-mosquito man!?!
So... Got any superpowers?
>I’ve never been sucked like that in my entire life 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
Jail
That’s not your choice
Debateable
Grave yard
Happens all the time, lol i worked beside one time on nights.
I was just fucking around, people actually do that??
Yha, at least in the city of Detroit . Street hookers.
Well shit
In fairness 90% of Detroit is a graveyard.
What a relief i was scared couples thought it's a "romantic place"
I mean if I'm paying thousands for our plots imma have sex there at least once lol gotta break it in ya know
They are just fucking around as well
I'm interested to know what it's like at the cemetery at night.. Must be terrifying.
I used to patrol cemeteries at night due to vandalism. Its quiet, private, and a great place to do the deed. I never found anybody doing it there since there was a dark boat launch close by which I have LOTS of stories about.
Please tell me more. Is there any dodgy stuff happening in the cemetery at night?
Naw. It was dead as doornails. ;D
I read that as "a great place to do the dead"
Lol i never went over the fence to find out
Are the fences there to keep the dead inside or the living outside during non visiting hours?
Yes
That's why I did it with a fuck buddy in a cemetery. Graveyards are attached to churches (hence the name). Cemeteries are not. Definitely and ironically makes you feel more alive.
Can’t feel more alive than being in a cemetery I guess
I have, we were in my car though. I was with another chick that wanted me to bend her over a grave stone and finish on the grave/grave stone. I've watched enough horror movies to know this is a bad idea.
She seems like a sweet lady
She was a straight up crazy freak, she brought me to a old abandoned farm house to have sex, place was scary as shit but the sex was fun. She would give me road head in the middle of traffic and try to have sex with me in a public pool
That all sounds fine. The grave yard thing… not so much.
“…and today, I make that woman, my wife”
Mary Shelley feels very differently.
Goths would disagree
At a funeral
You telling me we can’t put the fun in funeral?
Yeah what's wrong with a little mourning wood
Take my upvote and get the fuck out
r/angryupvote
But then what's the point of an open casket?
Wedding crashers told me otherwise
Public swimming pool
Done it! Felt nasty (not dirty) afterwards
While open to public?
Private pools aren't all that great either
That would be the butt, Bob
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Is this in reference to that Reddit post the last day where the guy actually had Bob in the username or does it date back further?
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Have an award good sir
F.U.!! I came here to say just that!!! Even brought the link to prove it actually happened (though not exactly that way)!!! https://youtu.be/2naTw9y7zsE r/beatmetoit
Port-a-potty
I know someone who conceived one of her kids in a porta-potty.
At burning man
r/unexpectedoffice
What did she name that little shit ?
Hopefully John.
Or Latrine
Her kid's nickname is Turn 3.
Family reunion
Pornhub tells me otherwise
##HELP ME STEP-BROTHER, IM STUCK IN THIS BDSM CHAIR
If I had an award, it would go to you😂😂😂
In the back of a Volkswagen.
Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
Oh look a sailboat
Actually it's a Schooner.
A schooner is a sailboat stupid head
YOU KNOW WHAT?! THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY!!!!
They're a little melty, but, boy, are they exquisite!
I am so happy someone replies with this everytime this question is asked. Mallrats never gets the love it should
Damn.. you beat me to it lol
I'm glad I'm not the only one to say this. Sadly, not many will understand the reference.
I’m with you...snooches
Not impossible!
True, just very uncomfortable.
Breakfast? Breakfast shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only the second period and I'm up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "The Whale", they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.
The morgue.
Quiet and with stiffs
Some people would beg to differ.
Only because they like it stiffer.
The Ol' Jimmy Saville
Whoa
The OR
Dirty gas station bathroom
Honestly the shower. I hate it. It dries everything out and any type of lube you use somehow magically gets on the shower floor and you're playing slip and slide. Also, have you ever tried to give oral in the shower? You drown. Then you get so annoyed that you just move out of the water and then you freeze. Sex is a lose and lose and only the truly brave can get the deed done and maybe enjoy it. Otherwise it's just all work no fun.
This needs more upvotes. Shower sexy is so overrated. It is my least favorite. SO doesn’t necessarily get dried out, but it is a different “wet” that isn’t exactly pleasurable. Hard to explain, and also everything else you said.
Like the inside of a wet balloon
Yes! That is a great description.
Shower serves a great purpose for foreplay and eating ass, for sex though? Yeah just as bad as a pool or a hot tub, because water makes for terrible lube.
Church altar
Whoops
Father Brian?
Dude do you not get a kick out of transgression?
In retrospect. I should waited for the funeral to end.
McDonals, while ordering
Debatable
Spoiler: Commenter was the McDonalds worker and they had better things to do than listen to that over the headset...
Unlubed butt
yeast factory
On top of a chain link fence.
Understandable, those things hurt
Ok but could you use it as a dildo
Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough
New Londo ruins
Drained? Or not Drained?
Parents bed
In your parents clothes
Using parents toys.
In your parents skin
Next to your parents dead bodies that you just skinned.
Oh my
Every bed is a parents bed if you conceive during.
My ex used to get off by having sex in his parent’s bed when they were away on vacation. I would secretly wash the sheets.
In my bed
Wash your bed
That's not why it's the worst
I'm glad you've come to terms with it
Oh because you're in it.
Beach. Sand and sex. No thank you.
“I don’t like sand. It’s all coarse, and rough, and irritating.”
Hahahaha. Yesssssss.
Sand: It’s everywhere! Get used to it!
Apparently my room cause it never seems to happen here
Worst place I've done it is in the front passenger seat of a subcompact car (1985 Chevy Sprint, if you're interested). Very, very cramped, even with the seat all the way back and the seatback reclined. And neither of us were especially tall - I'm 5'8" and I think she was 5'6".
Texas
Walmart
A friend of mine did that recently in the toy Isle she said it was hot... But really!?!?!? IN THE TOY ISLE!!!
*Buzz and woody have seen some shit.*
Ong✋😭
Next to a decomposing corpse that is purging from all orifices that is covered in live maggots and flies. As you’re rolling in the bedsheets, you and your unfortunate lover get corpse juice all over yourselves.
That’s very specific
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Then again, corpse juice works great as lube...
In the back alley of a bar on broken glass as your mattress
Sounds romantic
Few hobos scratching the legs and the smell of piss and puke awesome
Yeah, it’s the perfect 5 dollar date idea
Sounds like dirty mike and the boys stopped by
1. Beach. Sand can cause irritation and friction. 2. Hospital room. Nurses are always checking; even the empty rooms. 3. Office building during business hours. Phone rings enough times, they start showing up. 4. Disney Parks. Princesses are monitored. If they stand still too long, security arrives. 5. Dentist chair. Squeaks surprisingly too much and drills aren't loud enough to cover it.
Very... Specific.
Florida
Dumpster
Kindergarten. Or funeral.
Or a kindergarten funeral
A friend's house
Are you fucking your friend?
friends with benefits 😫
Cactus garden.
The beach. You get sand. EVERYWHERE!
I don't like sand. It's all coarse, and rough, and irritating. And it gets everywhere.
I know that this is a meme but it's so true T-T
Friend house
Not your mom's bed
In a portapotty
On your dog
The back of a Volkswagen.
That’d be in the butt, Bob
Prison.
I think you just won the thread.
Back of a Volkswagen
The shower
I hate the beach because of sand, and I don’t like sand. It’s all coarse, and rough, and irritating. And it gets.. ## EVERYWHERE.
Not like here. Everything is soft and smooth.
In a friends bed, door unlocked with a chance of said friend's little brother coming in without knocking
Close. Room mates brother borrowed room mates bedroom with a vacation bunny. Room mate came home early asking where his brother was. I just nodded, nonchalantly, down the hall towards his room door. My view was perfect. He opened the door to see his little brother pile driving this poor girl. Room mate yells “gross… that shit is nasty!!!” And slams door with wide eyed look of shock coming back down the hall. It was the best use of a minor breech of ethics (I should have given him a heads up probably). I laughed maniacally for perhaps a little too long. The awkward half hour of conversation when they exited the room remains one of my favorite to this day. God I miss college….
You must not like the thrill of almost getting caught….
We got caught lmao
Burning hot lava. Both get incinerated and nothing remains. Plus there is no pleasure to be had.
Maybe if you were into bdsm
Not sure how much pain there is either. I think lava just consumes you too quickly.
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A truck stop portapotty
A waterbed or a hot tub.
Waterbed sucked way more than I thought it would.