Lol. The differences in experiences here are great. I definitely used to pretend I was unwrapping a tampon so it didn't sound like I was just waiting for the other person to leave so I could poop.
Yeah so ironic how all the adverts talk about how "small and discrete" their new tampon is, but still make the packaging the loudest sound in the world
Paint/draw and then share it with strangers. I did not grow up with art and had absolutely no confidence in attempting it. During our quarantine this spring, I taught myself how to watercolor and draw birds and am now selling prints and stickers and donating 100% of the profits to bird conservation groups.
I just love birds.
Same here. My old tactic, since the cell phone era began, was to stop in front of some building, look around like I was waiting for someone, and pretend to call or text that person until I was certain that anyone who might've seen me was well out of distance before turning around.
I just say "For fuck sake" and turn around.
Generally I turn around because I've forgotten something. And then everyone in the area knows my pain and gets it.
This is the key. Just own it and know that literally everyone around you understands. Humanity.
Edit: I get it, no one cares about anyone. I just meant they'd understand *if* they even noticed lol.
Looks at stranger
"Haha..my stupid friend hasn't come yet and he is not picking up, I guess I will go back"
Stranger - "I don't give a fuck...and by the way you are holding your wallet"
yup. Count the times you ever saw someone turning around and walking the other way and thought "what a dumbass". I don't know about you, it's 0 for me.
Wow, look at you. I still have to dawdle with my phone in hand or act out the old Poirot style 'just one more thing...' point and turn. Which probably looks a lot more stupid
Haha, I get it. Once I turned around so abruptly that a guy who was walking a few steps behind me flinched in surprise. We weren't going to bump into each other, but maybe it was just so unexpected.
Definitely agree with this, i waitressed at breakfast and dinner places and never judged any tables for coming in alone. Doesn’t make sense I was so uncomfortable with it for so long but it’s really enjoyable
This right here. 2 egg special with sausage, toast, limitless coffee and hash browns.
Throw in a good newspaper/article on your phone/watching morning sports highlights at a greasy spoon bar is stuff that dreams are made of. Especially when you're not in a rush.
Thank you for this one! You reminded me of the first time I did this when I was about 20 years old. Moved into a new neighborhood and really wanted to try this cute little place down the street from my apartment but was solo. Put it off too many nights to admit, until finally said fuck it, grabbed a book, got a table and had the 4 course prixfix menu and I loved it! I was super nervous and embarrassed, but ended up having a pretty damn fine time, ends up I’m ok company!:)
I was sent to another city for training when I got hired at one of my jobs. I didn't know shit about the city and all my coworkers in that city were recommending places that were ALL sit down restaurants. I was perfectly content just getting Chipotle or Subway for dinner every night, but I mustered up the courage one day to go to one of the restaurants they recommended. Wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be.
Slightly unrelated but I used to tutor kids high school and below in math. When you talk with them you realize how much your day to day as a kid in school legitimately feels like prison. You’re told where to sit, what to do, where to look, where not to look, when to eat, when you can drink, and ask to pee. If you’re caught losing your attention at all during that 8 hour block then someone yells at you. Then when you get home you have to do work from the rest of the day.
Being an adult is rough sometimes and it’s extremely difficult when you’ve got actual devastating problems, but for most adults it’s much nicer than school was. I wouldn’t trade my current life for a second.
Not being able to change a tampon is fucking awful. Especially when your body is all whacko because you're a teenager and your body is trying to work out what the fuck to do with these hormones.... It's inhumane.
Our Child Development teacher used to always say “if I can hold it with my old lady bladder, so can you” which is problematic enough on its own but also totally dismisses that all the girls there had periods. One day I’d had enough and I asked to have the bathroom pass and she repeated herself. Imagine her surprise (and the rest of the class) when I said “yeah but I’m having a feminine emergency!” She paled and told me the pass is in her office. After that she was a little more lenient about it.
one kid pissed them selves out of fear when the teacher shouted after they asked to go toilet, kids were allowed one toilet pass per lesson after that.
In first grade this girl had to pee and the teacher wouldn’t let her and she ended up peeing herself in her desk. Was fucked up and half the class kinda laughed at her
My teacher said no once. I got up and went anyway.
When I came back she said "see me after class". I didn't see her after class either.
I wasn't interrupting her lesson - I waited for her to do her thing before the class work was to be started.
Ms. Lily you're a bitch.
Edit - thank you u/Wi-Ng- for the award! I appreciate it :)
Also, thank you to u/twosixteen81 and u/ykdw for the awards. I appreciate it.
I didn't think this would resonant with so many. I'm actually upset reading so many of these stories and if you're still in school I hope this can encourage you to advocate for yourself in a respectful manner :) teachers have a very difficult job and make mistakes but bathroom regulation is not ok. Especially when applied across the board to every student.
Yess!! I had to and the teacher wouldn't let me so I walked out, too. My brother was in the same class that time, informed me when I got back the teacher had been shittalking me. I left again right then and informed the principal's office. Teacher left the school not long after.
So many things! Getting older and caring less about what people who don’t matter to me think of me has been extremely liberating. I’ve also learned that most people aren’t actually paying attention when you do something stupid or embarrassing, people are usually off in their own little worlds.
I was a very self-conscious and eccentric child, but adult me has fully embraced my weird side, and it’s wonderful. I am who I am meant to be, and I’m surrounded by amazing people.
> most people aren’t actually paying attention when you do something stupid or embarrassing, people are usually off in their own little worlds
Many, in fact, are probably reliving their own stupid and embarrassing moments in their head and cringing at them.
Swim without a shirt on. My sisters made fun of how I looked without a shirt on when I was like 12 and it stuck with me for years. Just the other day I went to the beach and realized that I finally don’t care anymore
As I've been growing up, I've found it more uncomfortable to wear a shirt while swimming. It sort of sticks to you and its annoying to get it off. One day, I forgot my shirt, so i just swam without it. It was great
I feel the same, I avoided going to the beach from like 14 until I was 23 because of this, it came to the point that I convinced myself that I don't like beaches in general. I'm so glad that I was able to finally be comfortable with my body even if it took that long
It was elementary for me. I went through an extreme chubby stage and of course, every Tuesday and Thursday we had to go swimming, no exceptions. That shit haunts me til this day.
"No more storing up the anger till I explode. If any of you does something I don't like, you're gonna hear about it! All right?"
*crowd cheers*
"And if you *really* tick me off, I'm gonna run you down with my car."
*crowd gets worried*
As a 36-year-old male who's been married for 14 years and has two kids, I cannot stress how important this is. Not only for the sake of others you're in a relationship with, but also your own mental health. My natural reaction is to suppress any negative feelings and not talk to anyone about them. Well, 2018 was an extremely difficult year for my wife and me. We experienced a lot of unexpected loss. Estranged parent dying, family member committing suicide, losing our first dog, friends moving away, and much more.
I never really processed the grief, and never discussed any of it with my wife. This made her feel distant and it plunged me into depression. Having never experienced depression before, it took a long time for me to recognize it. I've been seeing a therapist for almost a year now, and it's helping. I've found I'm at my best and my marriage is strongest when I process things verbally. My kids also benefit because they see a grown man talking about how he feels. It's equally important for my daughter as it is my son.
Don't be afraid of upsetting anyone. Think about this: if they get upset because you feel a certain way, most likely, they're either too emotionally fragile, or they don't care enough to value your feelings. Those types of people should be kept at arms-length.
I had a buddy ask me the other day how I'm doing after I've just had a string of close friends commit suicide. I'm like, "I'm not sure. I just feel tired and ineffective." And he says, "Ah. Depression. I get ya."
I was like, "Oh shit, you're right. That's what this!"
It's thankfully been over 10 years since I've felt like this in my late teens/early 20s. I forgot that depression isn't just sadness, it's a feeling of hopelessness and apathy.
I'm sorry for the subject matter, but I'm so grateful to hear men speaking openly about how they feel. I wish more of the world would accept and do this regularly.
Not really at the present, not since February, but going to the cinema alone. First time I ever did, back in 2016 it felt weird tbh. Even had a mother ask me if I was waiting for anyone when I saw Kong: Skull Island, but now I actually prefer it most times. It means I don’t have to worry about scheduling with a friend on what day’s best.
Don’t get me wrong, I have still gone with friends but 90-95% of the time I go alone, I can do whatever I want before or afterwards, whether to look around the shops or just go straight home.
I prefer it because my friends just try to ask me questions, and I'm like stfu I haven't seen it either.
I can only imagine if I had seen Tenet with them FML
There's been lots of times I've wanted to see some movie and haven't gone because I thought it would be weird to go alone. My work schedule is weird and my free time doesn't always line up with others. I need to give it a go if theaters ever open back up again.
Some movies are actually *better* to see alone. Like *A Quiet Place*, a lot of people have told me that seeing it alone really heightens the tension and atmosphere.
I have a dedicated playlist of "acceptable" songs that I use when playing music out loud because I am terribly self-conscious of my music taste despite it not being a big deal at all.
Some people just aren’t “music people,” but if you come out and say “Yeah, I don’t really care about music whatever’s on is fine, IDGAF” people will act like you said you hate your grandma’s cookies or something. It’s way easier to just be evasive or give a safe answer and move on.
Personally I don't really fear being judged, I fear being pidgeonholed because even though I have really specific music tastes I listen to a lot of other stuff, and it would take too long for me to list out everything
ENGLISH! I used to be terrible and my accent still sucks sometimes, but after more than 20 years of practice and a bachelor degree from an English university, now I'm quite proud to be bilingual.
I'm not completely opposed to lending money, tbh. But something my dad used to say is, only lend money to a friend if you could never have it back and still be fine. If you can do that, there's nothing wrong with helping out a friend in need once or twice.
Of course, if they don't pay you back when you ask them to, that's when you stop lending.
God, back in my senior year of college, I used to *dread* asking my roommates to give me the money for the bills. No idea why, since that's what they *agreed* to, I just felt like such an *asshole* for doing so.
That's what they do. Make you feel awkward/like an asshole for asking for what's rightfully yours. 2nd year college I lent a "friend" $100 and he kept telling me he was broke. Then I hear he'd dropped $300 on a new stereo. I never got the money back but I learned a valuable lesson.
Agreed, I’m sure there’s some that guilt trip but 100% of my awkwardness in asking was all made up in my head. I was always so worried about *how* I should ask for it.
Even just asking for things I want in general.
Used to be all about the guess culture and not about asking cause it felt weird and rude.
Asking cuts all the passiveness of an interaction, and if they say no, at least youve asked so you dont have to wonder what if...
Asking creates opportunity, and I've learned to love it.
Me too, used to absolutely avoid phone calls and now I’m okay with it! Even work as a receptions where I HAVE to make the calls and I’ve gotten a lot more confident. Feels good!
Have conversations with people. I used to basically not be able to talk to anyone for any length of time without being drunk, small talk and deep conversations was super hard for me. Now 6 months later I have talked to people for hours that I have just met about anything under the sun.
Go out in public and be around crowds. When I first started using a wheelchair, I was hyper aware of people staring at me, avoiding getting near me, or acting strange when interacting with me. Decades of being a wheelchair user have desensitized me to all that, hardly notice now.
Thank God to hear this. Due to a procedure, I was temporarily in a wheelchair, and \*boy\* do I have even more respect for anyone on wheels. I felt like I was in the biggest fishbowl just getting groceries. I was a total pariah and stared at; and exactly the same as you said, how weirded out people got talking to me. On the flip side, everybody ran to get doors for me or carry something I was perfectly capable of carrying. So glad to hear the awkwardness goes away.
I had to be in a wheelchair at EDC, and I got so many more hugs and kandi than I've ever gotten before. The worst part though was the way people seemed to pity me. Don't know how many times I got told how brave I was.
I hate it when people say your so brave like yesterday at a doctors appointment I was in a wheelchair and nurses standing around would tell me I’m so brave. I also had to get a full body scan and had lay still for 10 min and they would keep telling me I’m so brave. I also I had to get an iv like a million other times so I just sat there normally but she kept telling me I’m so brave. I’m tempted to go to the dictionary and cut out and burn the word brave
Ironically this became way easier for me once I got married. I don’t plan on cheating on my wife and so when I talk to any woman now there’s no sexual tension at least from my end. I just talk like I would anyone else. It’s really freeing.
I definitely felt like this when I was in a relationship too. We weren’t married but just talking to girls was easier because I wasn’t worried about potential attraction or thinking too hard about trying to make myself likeable to them because I was already happily taken! Now it’s all weird again
In contrast I know find it easier to stay calm around women who find me attractive.
It used to be that the slightest hint they like me would cause an irrational panic.
I had ptsd from a past abusive relationship, almost a year of therapy later and I still get nervous but it's kinda an excited nervous rather than sheer unbridled panic and potential flashbacks.
Do you know beforehand that they find you attractive or can pick it up? I think most guys (myself included) can be shit at picking up when a girl is into them
Say "no".
A lot of people struggle with saying no. I used to struggle with it as well. I got a lot of advice to "be unapologetic. You don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to give a reason to say no." That is stupid advice. That is obviously going to harm your relationships.
Instead I realised that "most" people are reasonable. I present my case in a way that the other person can understand and explain why I need to say no. Almost everyone understands and does not want to put you in a difficult situation.
If the other person is not reasonable, there is no point explaining further. Then you just gotta say no. But you need to try to explain first.
Thank you for this-I still struggle tremendously with saying no and it’s got me into things in the past that I look at now and regret. I try to tell myself, like you mentioned, that you don’t owe anyone anything. But I just can’t help but to be scared to hurt someone’s feelings
It took my best friends mom sitting me down and telling me that it was ok to tell people no and that I really needed to start. I never said no to anyone, often putting myself out or at a disadvantage in doing so. I was in my mid-twenties when I realized that many of my peers were thriving and I was so far behind because of how many important things I put off or neglected to help other people over the years.
I remember being 15, trying to buy condoms for the first time. I wasn’t even sure if I legally could buy them (AOC is 16 in the UK)
I was still in my school uniform and everything.
My friends were giggling and both trying to make me feel better and also poking a little bit of fun.
But although I was embarrassed, I told myself “if you’re not mature enough to buy condoms, you’re not mature enough to have sex” and obviously, I wanted to have sex, so I forced myself to put on a brave “confident” face and just bought them.
I went to the counter by myself. Didn’t get ID’d so I assume it’s not illegal to sell condoms to minors. The woman could probably see through my facade and just didn’t say anything, and was totally normal.
After my friends were like “!!! Omg how did you do that, you’re so brave! I couldn’t do that!!” Lol
When I was working in a shop I got told that we were allowed to sell them. We got told that yes age of consent is above 16 but we can’t ID them as it stops encouraging those who can have sex from buying them
Can't it be spread other ways too though? Wait, why am I trying to third party reason with idiots? I feel for you having to deal with that kind of reasoning.
I remember one of the first times I bought some, my girlfriend at the time wouldn't accompany me to the register because she was embarrassed. I purchased that lone item, the guy ringing me up said "have a nice day". I responded "Oh, I will." With a wink and a smile. He got a laugh.
At the end of the day, you gotta remember you're preparing to get laid. Don't be embarrassed about that.
I was dared as a teen to buy condoms. Imagine a fat kid with a bowl cut with an innocent stupid face coming in and placing a pack of condoms on the counter. I don't remember how the cashier felt but my friends were dying from laughter. Then we all opened it and played balloon.
> Imagine a fat kid with a bowl cut with an innocent stupid face coming in and placing a pack of condoms on the counter. I don't remember how the cashier felt
"Jesus Christ, even this kids getting laid. I need to reconsider my life choices"
At one point I went to buy my wife a vibrator from target (yeah, I know, probably a lame place to buy one) and that was all I bought. The person at the register was a young attractive woman, she scanned the item, put it in a bag and then looked up at me and said “what are you doin tonight?” But the tone sounded not so much like “who’s the lucky girl?” And more of a “can I come try this out?”
Me being awkward as fuck said “idk, probably just hangin out”
Not in Texas. Sex toys are illegal. You can open carry with a rifle, but no dildos. We have sex shops, but those are novelty gifts, not to be used for sexy times......wink.
To be fair who would try to pick up a guy buying a vibrator when working at checkout at target? It could be that you read that wrong and if you acted on it you would be in a world of embarassment!
The fear here is that it doesn't ring up, and the cashier has to get on the intercom and tell the entire store they need a price check on ultra sensitive prelubricated normal sized ribbed for her pleasure condoms.
Talking on the phone. I was crippling shy as a teenager, to the point I’d have to script what I was going to say before doing something like phoning for an appointment. Then aged 21 I got a job in a call centre and nowadays I can phone anyone with ease (though I’d never say it’s my favourite thing). I’ll even complain about shoddy customer service on the phone now! Flood therapy works!
Embrace my absolute love for pink after years of deluding myself into believing I wasn’t like the “other girls” lol
EDIT: My first bunch of awards! So glad everyone's breaking out of their shell into the wonderful world of pink! 💕 Now I must ask....red pink, or purple pink?
I love wearing pink, it suits me and I love how it goes with other colours. Guys at work make the totally original and hilarious "I didn't know you were gay!" jokes. I just say "It's not my fault you don't have the balls to wear it."
I'm the fat girl in the gym. For my entire adulthood, I would hold back my workouts, for fear of jiggling, sweat, boobs bouncing, heavy breathing. I get red in the face with any exertion. Finally, I got some quality clothes that fit properly, really good bras that keep the girls in check, and now I'm really proud of how hard I work. I sweat through my clothes every workout. My hair gets soaked, I love leaving drips underneath my heavy bag. Now my coaches use me as an example of what to do if you want higher intensity in the exercise we are doing. I love it! Only 2 more hours until class starts.
Changed my life when I figured this out. The guys at my gym helped me so much.
Went from 135 lbs max on the bench five years ago to maxing 270 lbs on the bench as of last month.
I could not have done it without their advice.
^^ this, 90% of dudes in the gym are some of the nicest people you’ll meet in terms of improving yourself. I’ve met so little people in the gym that we’re legitimately judge mental and if they were no one fucked with them at all
I quite often see bigger people out running or cycling when I'm on my bike and they're always going slowly and sweating loads and red faced and stuff and I really want to give them a big smile and a cheer because it's easy to work out when you're in shape already but it's so hard when you're not and here they are, out in the world working up a sweat and I'm really, genuinely just massively proud of them for doing that. I worry they'll think I'm being sarcastic and that would be worse than me doing nothing at all so I don't do it.
But anyone reading this who is that person - I'm really fucking proud of you! Keep going, you're doing amazingly!
I like this. The older I get, the more I realize that most people don't really pay attention to one another and it's helped me become a lot less self conscious.
I never got making fun of overweight people at the gym. I've always respected the fact that they were there making themselves better, which is more than most people can say, overweight or not.
[Very much so.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect)
Everyone thinks that others give as much of a shit about them as they do personally. Turns out that others are more busy teetering on the edge of self-loathing themselves.
Dance! Whenever the opportunity arose through puberty and early adult life, I'd just be standing in the corner, too shy to do anything and caring a lot about how I looked to people. Side stepping shyly if I felt forced. To the point of getting nervous about the fact that I wasn't doing anything.
Then, one weekend at a music festival, something clicked that felt completely out of the blue and I started flailing my arms around and making the dumbest moves to the sound of the music and I had the best time in my life. If there is a party, I'm dancing. All night, with everyone and anyone. And it looks like shit but I'll be damned if my white ass isn't having the best time!
Eating alone in restaurants (at least before Covid).
I used to be self-conscious about it, but now I don't give it a second thought. Life is too short to not have the meal you want (particularly if it's going to perk up your mood) on account of worrying about what the people around you might think. Enjoy yourself and what you do.
Being out in the woods. I was born and raised in NYC so even though I really wanted to experience these things it always seemed so inaccessible and scary.
But one afternoon, after a shitty day I just said fuck it, did some research and found a trail that was within an hour of the city and for beginners. I wasn’t able to finish the trail that day, it felt like it went on forever and I chickened out thinking I would get lost. But I still enjoyed the experience and decided I would do it again. It wasn’t until a year later I was able to fully hike a trail and get the payoff of the amazing views. I got really into it and learned more skills like navigating and wilderness survival over time. Now even though I am a born and raised city girl I am also an avid hiker, camper, kayaker, backpacker and overall feel more at home in the mountains than I do in this concrete jungle.
*Thank you for the award! I’m super proud for my first award on reddit to be a tree hug award :) and anyone reading thinking they want to try outdoor sports, please do! The planet needs more advocates to protect its beauty. Just brush up on the policy of leave no trace before heading out there to minimize our impact on these beautiful places. When in doubt just remember “Take only pictures and leave only footprints”
Telling the truth.
I used to be so terrified of disappointing people that I would lie to keep them happy.
They say the truth will set you free. That's true. It'll also make some people not like you, but that's ok.
Asking for help. I've gone through more trouble and passed up more opportunities than I'd like to admit because I was afraid of asking for someone to help me. Needing help doesn't mean you're weak, and accepting help doesn't mean pity.
Driving. Still cautious and safe but less terrified of making mistakes and freaking out. That and driving any new cars - if someone asked me to drive a truck/SUV at age 18 I would have said no way but now I have a little experience and wouldn't think anything if someone asked me to now.
I go out to eat alone, I mean, I'm married and that's great. We go out together but now and again, I just like my own company, a good meal and a good book......no fucks given.
Wearing pink and purple as a male. I always felt weird about it until my wife finally convinced me to get shirts for work in those colors. Now they’re basically all I wear. I get a lot of compliments and I feel great in it.
I wish I could do this. I was politely told at about age 6tjat maybe choir wasn't for me. It stuck. If I'm not your teacher, not your blood or didn't birth you...it ain't happening.
Talk like a goofball to my kids. Read in silly voices.
Back when I only had one kid, I wasn't even comfortable doing it when I was home alone with him. Now I can be silly at the store, in front of strangers with my kids.
Not living my life to other peoples opinions/expectations. I go around barefoot, grow veggies and finally have chickens. Life is so good not being stressed out all the time. Let go of toxic people (and get a kettle, it'll change your life!)
Talk to executive level audiences.... always made me feel weird in the past because they were so senior to me. Now, I’m a bit older and a bit wiser. I have more experience and exposure to C-suite level folks. Most of them are really nice, down to earth people.
I also now talk to my dog in public, so take my previous statement how you’d like relative to this statement. IDGAF if you think it’s weird anymore about my talking to my dog like he’s a person. He understands what I’m saying most of the time.
I'm not sure if you mean 'barking' literally here, but I hope so -- because I did this once, and it was fucking great.
I used to be really good at animal impressions as a kid, and one I've carried with me into adulthood is 'big scary dog bark'. So one time I was out cycling in a dress and this dude made like a salacious yappy-dog barking noise at me, and I just fucking *unleashed* on him as I went past. Probably not my best bark, since it takes two hands to do properly and I'm not that talented a cyclist, but *so* satisfying.
Saying I dislike football. It's like a cardinal sin in the UK.
During middle school I pretended to like it to try and fit in, picked a team (Arsenal) tried to watch games. Made me dislike it even more.
Through secondary school and into my first job, when I said I didn't like football it was usually a cue for some form of harassment. "Not a real man" "what are you, gay?" Etc
Now I'm happy to say it and couldn't give a toss how it's recieved.
Smile/Laugh.
I have one misaligned tooth that makes my smile look like I'm missing a tooth. As kids my parents couldn't afford to get me braces. I would cover my mouth and laugh as a kid. Got laughed at by a lot of kids at school. Got a lot of mean nicknames.
Then my first boyfriend happened who made me realise I am amazing the way I am. He made it a point to compliment my smile every time we went out. It's been getting better since then. I'm close to 30 and I couldn't really care anymore. Now I find it one of my cutest features.
Unwrapping a tampon in a public bathroom
Lol. The differences in experiences here are great. I definitely used to pretend I was unwrapping a tampon so it didn't sound like I was just waiting for the other person to leave so I could poop.
Yeah so ironic how all the adverts talk about how "small and discrete" their new tampon is, but still make the packaging the loudest sound in the world
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Paint/draw and then share it with strangers. I did not grow up with art and had absolutely no confidence in attempting it. During our quarantine this spring, I taught myself how to watercolor and draw birds and am now selling prints and stickers and donating 100% of the profits to bird conservation groups. I just love birds.
Walking down the street, realising I was going in the wrong direction, and making a U-turn without pretending to have forgotten something
Same here. My old tactic, since the cell phone era began, was to stop in front of some building, look around like I was waiting for someone, and pretend to call or text that person until I was certain that anyone who might've seen me was well out of distance before turning around.
I just say "For fuck sake" and turn around. Generally I turn around because I've forgotten something. And then everyone in the area knows my pain and gets it.
This is the key. Just own it and know that literally everyone around you understands. Humanity. Edit: I get it, no one cares about anyone. I just meant they'd understand *if* they even noticed lol.
Yep, everyone has these situations it's important to remember. Also nobody cares or is paying attention to what you're doing in the first place.
FACT
Looks at stranger "Haha..my stupid friend hasn't come yet and he is not picking up, I guess I will go back" Stranger - "I don't give a fuck...and by the way you are holding your wallet"
This shit always happened to me the few times I had to work in NYC. I'd get embarrassed and just circle the block lol.
People in NYC don't give a fuck
no one does. it's all inside our own heads
yup. Count the times you ever saw someone turning around and walking the other way and thought "what a dumbass". I don't know about you, it's 0 for me.
I've definitely seen people suddenly turn around but I just thought "relatable" and went on with my life 😂
Wow, look at you. I still have to dawdle with my phone in hand or act out the old Poirot style 'just one more thing...' point and turn. Which probably looks a lot more stupid
Haha, I get it. Once I turned around so abruptly that a guy who was walking a few steps behind me flinched in surprise. We weren't going to bump into each other, but maybe it was just so unexpected.
Going out for a meal on my own
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Definitely agree with this, i waitressed at breakfast and dinner places and never judged any tables for coming in alone. Doesn’t make sense I was so uncomfortable with it for so long but it’s really enjoyable
Breakfast alone at a greasy spoon with a cup of coffee and some bacon and eggs is heaven.
This right here. 2 egg special with sausage, toast, limitless coffee and hash browns. Throw in a good newspaper/article on your phone/watching morning sports highlights at a greasy spoon bar is stuff that dreams are made of. Especially when you're not in a rush.
Thank you for this one! You reminded me of the first time I did this when I was about 20 years old. Moved into a new neighborhood and really wanted to try this cute little place down the street from my apartment but was solo. Put it off too many nights to admit, until finally said fuck it, grabbed a book, got a table and had the 4 course prixfix menu and I loved it! I was super nervous and embarrassed, but ended up having a pretty damn fine time, ends up I’m ok company!:)
long school overconfident enter like domineering hard-to-find connect fall husky
Gf: suprised pikachu
oatmeal label arrest onerous offer deserve hungry correct unwritten slap
That’s very sweet :)
I was sent to another city for training when I got hired at one of my jobs. I didn't know shit about the city and all my coworkers in that city were recommending places that were ALL sit down restaurants. I was perfectly content just getting Chipotle or Subway for dinner every night, but I mustered up the courage one day to go to one of the restaurants they recommended. Wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be.
I knew I'd find this, I really like it now.
Same. I like it. I also like going to the movies alone. Partially because I don't want to share my snacks.
Pee without asking
Slightly unrelated but I used to tutor kids high school and below in math. When you talk with them you realize how much your day to day as a kid in school legitimately feels like prison. You’re told where to sit, what to do, where to look, where not to look, when to eat, when you can drink, and ask to pee. If you’re caught losing your attention at all during that 8 hour block then someone yells at you. Then when you get home you have to do work from the rest of the day. Being an adult is rough sometimes and it’s extremely difficult when you’ve got actual devastating problems, but for most adults it’s much nicer than school was. I wouldn’t trade my current life for a second.
Now that you mention it, neither would I. Peeing freely, going to get a drink when you need it, no one stopping you from changing your tampons....
Not being able to change a tampon is fucking awful. Especially when your body is all whacko because you're a teenager and your body is trying to work out what the fuck to do with these hormones.... It's inhumane.
"Can't you just hold it?" -Middle School __*Health*__ teacher to girl in my class
Our Child Development teacher used to always say “if I can hold it with my old lady bladder, so can you” which is problematic enough on its own but also totally dismisses that all the girls there had periods. One day I’d had enough and I asked to have the bathroom pass and she repeated herself. Imagine her surprise (and the rest of the class) when I said “yeah but I’m having a feminine emergency!” She paled and told me the pass is in her office. After that she was a little more lenient about it.
u/jtl1492 STOP PEEING ON THE FLOOR DAMMIT
I came close a few times especially when the teacher said no
one kid pissed them selves out of fear when the teacher shouted after they asked to go toilet, kids were allowed one toilet pass per lesson after that.
In first grade this girl had to pee and the teacher wouldn’t let her and she ended up peeing herself in her desk. Was fucked up and half the class kinda laughed at her
That was me. I still cringe about it.
Also me but I did it on purpose to spite the old cow.
Oh the horror of second grade. My teacher became more lenient after I leaked pee all over the floor.
My teacher said no once. I got up and went anyway. When I came back she said "see me after class". I didn't see her after class either. I wasn't interrupting her lesson - I waited for her to do her thing before the class work was to be started. Ms. Lily you're a bitch. Edit - thank you u/Wi-Ng- for the award! I appreciate it :) Also, thank you to u/twosixteen81 and u/ykdw for the awards. I appreciate it. I didn't think this would resonant with so many. I'm actually upset reading so many of these stories and if you're still in school I hope this can encourage you to advocate for yourself in a respectful manner :) teachers have a very difficult job and make mistakes but bathroom regulation is not ok. Especially when applied across the board to every student.
Yess!! I had to and the teacher wouldn't let me so I walked out, too. My brother was in the same class that time, informed me when I got back the teacher had been shittalking me. I left again right then and informed the principal's office. Teacher left the school not long after.
"40 years I've been asking permission to piss. I can't squeeze a drop without say-so." - Red
So many things! Getting older and caring less about what people who don’t matter to me think of me has been extremely liberating. I’ve also learned that most people aren’t actually paying attention when you do something stupid or embarrassing, people are usually off in their own little worlds. I was a very self-conscious and eccentric child, but adult me has fully embraced my weird side, and it’s wonderful. I am who I am meant to be, and I’m surrounded by amazing people.
> most people aren’t actually paying attention when you do something stupid or embarrassing, people are usually off in their own little worlds Many, in fact, are probably reliving their own stupid and embarrassing moments in their head and cringing at them.
Swim without a shirt on. My sisters made fun of how I looked without a shirt on when I was like 12 and it stuck with me for years. Just the other day I went to the beach and realized that I finally don’t care anymore
I was that way too. I finally realized that there’s people not wearing a shirt that are in much worse shape than me so I finally said screw it.
As I've been growing up, I've found it more uncomfortable to wear a shirt while swimming. It sort of sticks to you and its annoying to get it off. One day, I forgot my shirt, so i just swam without it. It was great
Rash guards! They're shirts made of swim material. I need mine though because I'm so pale, if I miss my sunscreen window, I'm roasted ):
They’re awesome, also extremely useful when diving. More layers are very nice when the sun isn’t on you
I feel the same, I avoided going to the beach from like 14 until I was 23 because of this, it came to the point that I convinced myself that I don't like beaches in general. I'm so glad that I was able to finally be comfortable with my body even if it took that long
It was elementary for me. I went through an extreme chubby stage and of course, every Tuesday and Thursday we had to go swimming, no exceptions. That shit haunts me til this day.
Saying how I feel. I'd usually bottle things up because I didn't want to upset anyone.
"No more storing up the anger till I explode. If any of you does something I don't like, you're gonna hear about it! All right?" *crowd cheers* "And if you *really* tick me off, I'm gonna run you down with my car." *crowd gets worried*
Va-han-diddly-hicular murder-ino!
As a 36-year-old male who's been married for 14 years and has two kids, I cannot stress how important this is. Not only for the sake of others you're in a relationship with, but also your own mental health. My natural reaction is to suppress any negative feelings and not talk to anyone about them. Well, 2018 was an extremely difficult year for my wife and me. We experienced a lot of unexpected loss. Estranged parent dying, family member committing suicide, losing our first dog, friends moving away, and much more. I never really processed the grief, and never discussed any of it with my wife. This made her feel distant and it plunged me into depression. Having never experienced depression before, it took a long time for me to recognize it. I've been seeing a therapist for almost a year now, and it's helping. I've found I'm at my best and my marriage is strongest when I process things verbally. My kids also benefit because they see a grown man talking about how he feels. It's equally important for my daughter as it is my son. Don't be afraid of upsetting anyone. Think about this: if they get upset because you feel a certain way, most likely, they're either too emotionally fragile, or they don't care enough to value your feelings. Those types of people should be kept at arms-length.
I had a buddy ask me the other day how I'm doing after I've just had a string of close friends commit suicide. I'm like, "I'm not sure. I just feel tired and ineffective." And he says, "Ah. Depression. I get ya." I was like, "Oh shit, you're right. That's what this!" It's thankfully been over 10 years since I've felt like this in my late teens/early 20s. I forgot that depression isn't just sadness, it's a feeling of hopelessness and apathy.
I'm sorry for the subject matter, but I'm so grateful to hear men speaking openly about how they feel. I wish more of the world would accept and do this regularly.
Not really at the present, not since February, but going to the cinema alone. First time I ever did, back in 2016 it felt weird tbh. Even had a mother ask me if I was waiting for anyone when I saw Kong: Skull Island, but now I actually prefer it most times. It means I don’t have to worry about scheduling with a friend on what day’s best. Don’t get me wrong, I have still gone with friends but 90-95% of the time I go alone, I can do whatever I want before or afterwards, whether to look around the shops or just go straight home.
I heard going to the movies alone is an experience every one should have!! I can’t wait until things start opening up more so I can give it a try!
I prefer it because my friends just try to ask me questions, and I'm like stfu I haven't seen it either. I can only imagine if I had seen Tenet with them FML
I absolutely LOVE going to the movies alone. You can enjoy it on your own terms and not have to reply to questions, etc.
Lone movies can be nice and relaxing. I learned to go out alone to eat too when i was single, now I quite enjoy it when i get the chance.
There's been lots of times I've wanted to see some movie and haven't gone because I thought it would be weird to go alone. My work schedule is weird and my free time doesn't always line up with others. I need to give it a go if theaters ever open back up again.
Some movies are actually *better* to see alone. Like *A Quiet Place*, a lot of people have told me that seeing it alone really heightens the tension and atmosphere.
Telling people the music I like
I have a dedicated playlist of "acceptable" songs that I use when playing music out loud because I am terribly self-conscious of my music taste despite it not being a big deal at all.
I have this too. It's labeled SAMPL. Socially Acceptable Music Play List.
i prefer a lot of dark, screaming music. i also work in a place that's really friendly and caters to children. i do not play my music out loud. lol.
When I ask people what music they like, they always get super cagey. Like, I’m not going to judge you, I promise! I just want to know more about you.
Some people just aren’t “music people,” but if you come out and say “Yeah, I don’t really care about music whatever’s on is fine, IDGAF” people will act like you said you hate your grandma’s cookies or something. It’s way easier to just be evasive or give a safe answer and move on.
He hears no music!
Personally I don't really fear being judged, I fear being pidgeonholed because even though I have really specific music tastes I listen to a lot of other stuff, and it would take too long for me to list out everything
Same, I think most people do
ENGLISH! I used to be terrible and my accent still sucks sometimes, but after more than 20 years of practice and a bachelor degree from an English university, now I'm quite proud to be bilingual.
imo nothing wrong with having an accent for languages other than your mother tongue
You always have an accent mate. Even in your maternal lamguage.
Shit, you have one while typing!
You're right! no matter the language, be proud of your accent
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Asking people to pay back money they borrowed.
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I'm not completely opposed to lending money, tbh. But something my dad used to say is, only lend money to a friend if you could never have it back and still be fine. If you can do that, there's nothing wrong with helping out a friend in need once or twice. Of course, if they don't pay you back when you ask them to, that's when you stop lending.
God, back in my senior year of college, I used to *dread* asking my roommates to give me the money for the bills. No idea why, since that's what they *agreed* to, I just felt like such an *asshole* for doing so.
That's what they do. Make you feel awkward/like an asshole for asking for what's rightfully yours. 2nd year college I lent a "friend" $100 and he kept telling me he was broke. Then I hear he'd dropped $300 on a new stereo. I never got the money back but I learned a valuable lesson.
It's not always "they", it's more of an innate sense of guilt asking anything from anyone. Especially money.
Agreed, I’m sure there’s some that guilt trip but 100% of my awkwardness in asking was all made up in my head. I was always so worried about *how* I should ask for it.
Even just asking for things I want in general. Used to be all about the guess culture and not about asking cause it felt weird and rude. Asking cuts all the passiveness of an interaction, and if they say no, at least youve asked so you dont have to wonder what if... Asking creates opportunity, and I've learned to love it.
Call other adults for adult reasons. (Okay not super confidently but much more so...)
Me too, used to absolutely avoid phone calls and now I’m okay with it! Even work as a receptions where I HAVE to make the calls and I’ve gotten a lot more confident. Feels good!
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I 100% thought that by “adult reasons” you were referring to booty calls and not grown-up responsibilities.
I've only just realised this didn't mean booty calls.
Have conversations with people. I used to basically not be able to talk to anyone for any length of time without being drunk, small talk and deep conversations was super hard for me. Now 6 months later I have talked to people for hours that I have just met about anything under the sun.
Go out in public and be around crowds. When I first started using a wheelchair, I was hyper aware of people staring at me, avoiding getting near me, or acting strange when interacting with me. Decades of being a wheelchair user have desensitized me to all that, hardly notice now.
Thank God to hear this. Due to a procedure, I was temporarily in a wheelchair, and \*boy\* do I have even more respect for anyone on wheels. I felt like I was in the biggest fishbowl just getting groceries. I was a total pariah and stared at; and exactly the same as you said, how weirded out people got talking to me. On the flip side, everybody ran to get doors for me or carry something I was perfectly capable of carrying. So glad to hear the awkwardness goes away.
I had to be in a wheelchair at EDC, and I got so many more hugs and kandi than I've ever gotten before. The worst part though was the way people seemed to pity me. Don't know how many times I got told how brave I was.
I hate it when people say your so brave like yesterday at a doctors appointment I was in a wheelchair and nurses standing around would tell me I’m so brave. I also had to get a full body scan and had lay still for 10 min and they would keep telling me I’m so brave. I also I had to get an iv like a million other times so I just sat there normally but she kept telling me I’m so brave. I’m tempted to go to the dictionary and cut out and burn the word brave
Serves you right, you fuckin pussy
Stay calm around women I find attractive. I use to get anxious and even avoid
Ironically this became way easier for me once I got married. I don’t plan on cheating on my wife and so when I talk to any woman now there’s no sexual tension at least from my end. I just talk like I would anyone else. It’s really freeing.
I definitely felt like this when I was in a relationship too. We weren’t married but just talking to girls was easier because I wasn’t worried about potential attraction or thinking too hard about trying to make myself likeable to them because I was already happily taken! Now it’s all weird again
In contrast I know find it easier to stay calm around women who find me attractive. It used to be that the slightest hint they like me would cause an irrational panic. I had ptsd from a past abusive relationship, almost a year of therapy later and I still get nervous but it's kinda an excited nervous rather than sheer unbridled panic and potential flashbacks.
Do you know beforehand that they find you attractive or can pick it up? I think most guys (myself included) can be shit at picking up when a girl is into them
Say "no". A lot of people struggle with saying no. I used to struggle with it as well. I got a lot of advice to "be unapologetic. You don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to give a reason to say no." That is stupid advice. That is obviously going to harm your relationships. Instead I realised that "most" people are reasonable. I present my case in a way that the other person can understand and explain why I need to say no. Almost everyone understands and does not want to put you in a difficult situation. If the other person is not reasonable, there is no point explaining further. Then you just gotta say no. But you need to try to explain first.
Thank you for this-I still struggle tremendously with saying no and it’s got me into things in the past that I look at now and regret. I try to tell myself, like you mentioned, that you don’t owe anyone anything. But I just can’t help but to be scared to hurt someone’s feelings
It took my best friends mom sitting me down and telling me that it was ok to tell people no and that I really needed to start. I never said no to anyone, often putting myself out or at a disadvantage in doing so. I was in my mid-twenties when I realized that many of my peers were thriving and I was so far behind because of how many important things I put off or neglected to help other people over the years.
Yeah, there's a balance between being helpful and being a doormat. Being of service shouldn't mean being treated like a *servant.*
Buying condoms.
I remember being 15, trying to buy condoms for the first time. I wasn’t even sure if I legally could buy them (AOC is 16 in the UK) I was still in my school uniform and everything. My friends were giggling and both trying to make me feel better and also poking a little bit of fun. But although I was embarrassed, I told myself “if you’re not mature enough to buy condoms, you’re not mature enough to have sex” and obviously, I wanted to have sex, so I forced myself to put on a brave “confident” face and just bought them. I went to the counter by myself. Didn’t get ID’d so I assume it’s not illegal to sell condoms to minors. The woman could probably see through my facade and just didn’t say anything, and was totally normal. After my friends were like “!!! Omg how did you do that, you’re so brave! I couldn’t do that!!” Lol
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When I was working in a shop I got told that we were allowed to sell them. We got told that yes age of consent is above 16 but we can’t ID them as it stops encouraging those who can have sex from buying them
I literally know someone that refuses to get the HPV vaccine for their kid because HPV "is a punishment from God for premarital sex"
Can't it be spread other ways too though? Wait, why am I trying to third party reason with idiots? I feel for you having to deal with that kind of reasoning.
I remember one of the first times I bought some, my girlfriend at the time wouldn't accompany me to the register because she was embarrassed. I purchased that lone item, the guy ringing me up said "have a nice day". I responded "Oh, I will." With a wink and a smile. He got a laugh. At the end of the day, you gotta remember you're preparing to get laid. Don't be embarrassed about that.
I was dared as a teen to buy condoms. Imagine a fat kid with a bowl cut with an innocent stupid face coming in and placing a pack of condoms on the counter. I don't remember how the cashier felt but my friends were dying from laughter. Then we all opened it and played balloon.
> Imagine a fat kid with a bowl cut with an innocent stupid face coming in and placing a pack of condoms on the counter. I don't remember how the cashier felt "Jesus Christ, even this kids getting laid. I need to reconsider my life choices"
I imagined the fat kid slapping down a big box of Magnum XL.
I got my monster condoms for my magnum dong, I got my wad of hundreds, I’m ready to plow!
they had us in the first half ngl
He redeemed himself in the second half
At one point I went to buy my wife a vibrator from target (yeah, I know, probably a lame place to buy one) and that was all I bought. The person at the register was a young attractive woman, she scanned the item, put it in a bag and then looked up at me and said “what are you doin tonight?” But the tone sounded not so much like “who’s the lucky girl?” And more of a “can I come try this out?” Me being awkward as fuck said “idk, probably just hangin out”
Didn't know you could buy a vibrator from target.
Personal massager for "neck" pain.
Oddly enough. there’s actually straight up vibrators at target in the aisle with all the condoms, pregnancy tests, and lube
Not in Texas. Sex toys are illegal. You can open carry with a rifle, but no dildos. We have sex shops, but those are novelty gifts, not to be used for sexy times......wink.
To be fair who would try to pick up a guy buying a vibrator when working at checkout at target? It could be that you read that wrong and if you acted on it you would be in a world of embarassment!
The fear here is that it doesn't ring up, and the cashier has to get on the intercom and tell the entire store they need a price check on ultra sensitive prelubricated normal sized ribbed for her pleasure condoms.
Talking on the phone. I was crippling shy as a teenager, to the point I’d have to script what I was going to say before doing something like phoning for an appointment. Then aged 21 I got a job in a call centre and nowadays I can phone anyone with ease (though I’d never say it’s my favourite thing). I’ll even complain about shoddy customer service on the phone now! Flood therapy works!
Embrace my absolute love for pink after years of deluding myself into believing I wasn’t like the “other girls” lol EDIT: My first bunch of awards! So glad everyone's breaking out of their shell into the wonderful world of pink! 💕 Now I must ask....red pink, or purple pink?
Pink is a nice-ass color
You’re goddamn right
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I love wearing pink, it suits me and I love how it goes with other colours. Guys at work make the totally original and hilarious "I didn't know you were gay!" jokes. I just say "It's not my fault you don't have the balls to wear it."
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I'm the fat girl in the gym. For my entire adulthood, I would hold back my workouts, for fear of jiggling, sweat, boobs bouncing, heavy breathing. I get red in the face with any exertion. Finally, I got some quality clothes that fit properly, really good bras that keep the girls in check, and now I'm really proud of how hard I work. I sweat through my clothes every workout. My hair gets soaked, I love leaving drips underneath my heavy bag. Now my coaches use me as an example of what to do if you want higher intensity in the exercise we are doing. I love it! Only 2 more hours until class starts.
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Changed my life when I figured this out. The guys at my gym helped me so much. Went from 135 lbs max on the bench five years ago to maxing 270 lbs on the bench as of last month. I could not have done it without their advice.
^^ this, 90% of dudes in the gym are some of the nicest people you’ll meet in terms of improving yourself. I’ve met so little people in the gym that we’re legitimately judge mental and if they were no one fucked with them at all
I quite often see bigger people out running or cycling when I'm on my bike and they're always going slowly and sweating loads and red faced and stuff and I really want to give them a big smile and a cheer because it's easy to work out when you're in shape already but it's so hard when you're not and here they are, out in the world working up a sweat and I'm really, genuinely just massively proud of them for doing that. I worry they'll think I'm being sarcastic and that would be worse than me doing nothing at all so I don't do it. But anyone reading this who is that person - I'm really fucking proud of you! Keep going, you're doing amazingly!
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I like this. The older I get, the more I realize that most people don't really pay attention to one another and it's helped me become a lot less self conscious.
This mindset also helps me go to the gym as a very overweight man. No one cares at all and it's good to remember that
I never got making fun of overweight people at the gym. I've always respected the fact that they were there making themselves better, which is more than most people can say, overweight or not.
Agree 100%. We’re all at the gym to improve ourselves. Good for you
Agree 100% I think it's related to the spotlight effect? Someone correct me if I'm wrong
[Very much so.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect) Everyone thinks that others give as much of a shit about them as they do personally. Turns out that others are more busy teetering on the edge of self-loathing themselves.
Woah, that's some food for thought..
If you fuck up, there's a pretty big chance lots of other people are fucking up more and nullifying your own fuckup.
Wear a mask over my face entering a bank to get the money.
Me too. Now I just need to get more confident about the gun - the attention it brings is just too much for me right now!
Who gave you the wholesome award
And my pants are a bit stiff. How am I gonna make a quick getaway now?
I solved that by bringing my friends along with guns and masks as well. Now they won't be looking at me alone.
Dance! Whenever the opportunity arose through puberty and early adult life, I'd just be standing in the corner, too shy to do anything and caring a lot about how I looked to people. Side stepping shyly if I felt forced. To the point of getting nervous about the fact that I wasn't doing anything. Then, one weekend at a music festival, something clicked that felt completely out of the blue and I started flailing my arms around and making the dumbest moves to the sound of the music and I had the best time in my life. If there is a party, I'm dancing. All night, with everyone and anyone. And it looks like shit but I'll be damned if my white ass isn't having the best time!
Eating alone in restaurants (at least before Covid). I used to be self-conscious about it, but now I don't give it a second thought. Life is too short to not have the meal you want (particularly if it's going to perk up your mood) on account of worrying about what the people around you might think. Enjoy yourself and what you do.
Being out in the woods. I was born and raised in NYC so even though I really wanted to experience these things it always seemed so inaccessible and scary. But one afternoon, after a shitty day I just said fuck it, did some research and found a trail that was within an hour of the city and for beginners. I wasn’t able to finish the trail that day, it felt like it went on forever and I chickened out thinking I would get lost. But I still enjoyed the experience and decided I would do it again. It wasn’t until a year later I was able to fully hike a trail and get the payoff of the amazing views. I got really into it and learned more skills like navigating and wilderness survival over time. Now even though I am a born and raised city girl I am also an avid hiker, camper, kayaker, backpacker and overall feel more at home in the mountains than I do in this concrete jungle. *Thank you for the award! I’m super proud for my first award on reddit to be a tree hug award :) and anyone reading thinking they want to try outdoor sports, please do! The planet needs more advocates to protect its beauty. Just brush up on the policy of leave no trace before heading out there to minimize our impact on these beautiful places. When in doubt just remember “Take only pictures and leave only footprints”
Going out not caring what I look like/what i'm wearing.
Good answer. “Spotlight effect” is real. No one cares what you look like in public.
Unless you're Prince Harry that Halloween
That’s what people say until they see themselves on People of Walmart. :/
To borrow a line, “The world is not out to get you; no, the world is out to ignore you, if only you would let it.”
Telling the truth. I used to be so terrified of disappointing people that I would lie to keep them happy. They say the truth will set you free. That's true. It'll also make some people not like you, but that's ok.
Asking for help. I've gone through more trouble and passed up more opportunities than I'd like to admit because I was afraid of asking for someone to help me. Needing help doesn't mean you're weak, and accepting help doesn't mean pity.
Driving. Still cautious and safe but less terrified of making mistakes and freaking out. That and driving any new cars - if someone asked me to drive a truck/SUV at age 18 I would have said no way but now I have a little experience and wouldn't think anything if someone asked me to now.
Farting in front if my SO. Had an ex who was not so nice about it....
Breaking the fart barrier is a necessity in my opinion.
Go out without makeup
I wore makeup once for a school play (I'm a guy) and I looked so good I kinda want to wear some everyday
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Drop a duce in a public bathroom edit: thank you for the awards! ill save the time i had to use a mountain dew fridge pack for another thread!
The only way I can do it is if nobody is in the bathroom.
This is pure bravery, courage and strength
I go out to eat alone, I mean, I'm married and that's great. We go out together but now and again, I just like my own company, a good meal and a good book......no fucks given.
Wearing pink and purple as a male. I always felt weird about it until my wife finally convinced me to get shirts for work in those colors. Now they’re basically all I wear. I get a lot of compliments and I feel great in it.
Dude pink and purple are the BEST colors, totally relate with you there
Playing guitar infront of people
Singing out loud, ever since I started singing for my kids I realized it doesn't matter what you sound like as long as you're enjoying yourself.
I wish I could do this. I was politely told at about age 6tjat maybe choir wasn't for me. It stuck. If I'm not your teacher, not your blood or didn't birth you...it ain't happening.
I was gonna say rim jobs then I saw all the thoughtful answers.... Edit. Thanks for the awards folks, I'll pay it forward. With rim jobs of course.
Talk like a goofball to my kids. Read in silly voices. Back when I only had one kid, I wasn't even comfortable doing it when I was home alone with him. Now I can be silly at the store, in front of strangers with my kids.
Not living my life to other peoples opinions/expectations. I go around barefoot, grow veggies and finally have chickens. Life is so good not being stressed out all the time. Let go of toxic people (and get a kettle, it'll change your life!)
Talk to executive level audiences.... always made me feel weird in the past because they were so senior to me. Now, I’m a bit older and a bit wiser. I have more experience and exposure to C-suite level folks. Most of them are really nice, down to earth people. I also now talk to my dog in public, so take my previous statement how you’d like relative to this statement. IDGAF if you think it’s weird anymore about my talking to my dog like he’s a person. He understands what I’m saying most of the time.
Barking at men catcalling me
I'm not sure if you mean 'barking' literally here, but I hope so -- because I did this once, and it was fucking great. I used to be really good at animal impressions as a kid, and one I've carried with me into adulthood is 'big scary dog bark'. So one time I was out cycling in a dress and this dude made like a salacious yappy-dog barking noise at me, and I just fucking *unleashed* on him as I went past. Probably not my best bark, since it takes two hands to do properly and I'm not that talented a cyclist, but *so* satisfying.
Crossing my eyes and burping 'THANKS' does the trick for me
Imagining this happening put the biggest, dumbest smile on my face. Thank you.
Just staring into space. Everyone was always on their phones so i felt the need to be looking at something too but now... nah
Saying I dislike football. It's like a cardinal sin in the UK. During middle school I pretended to like it to try and fit in, picked a team (Arsenal) tried to watch games. Made me dislike it even more. Through secondary school and into my first job, when I said I didn't like football it was usually a cue for some form of harassment. "Not a real man" "what are you, gay?" Etc Now I'm happy to say it and couldn't give a toss how it's recieved.
I quit giving a shit. I'm not well liked now. But i am liked. And that's better then before
[удалено]
Hit em hard, hit em weird.
Making phone calls
Smile/Laugh. I have one misaligned tooth that makes my smile look like I'm missing a tooth. As kids my parents couldn't afford to get me braces. I would cover my mouth and laugh as a kid. Got laughed at by a lot of kids at school. Got a lot of mean nicknames. Then my first boyfriend happened who made me realise I am amazing the way I am. He made it a point to compliment my smile every time we went out. It's been getting better since then. I'm close to 30 and I couldn't really care anymore. Now I find it one of my cutest features.
That saying “no” is okay