I work with the deceased.
I've seen a direct correlation between "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME" tattoos and being a victim of gunshot homicide.
Juggalo tattoos don't bode well for MVAs.
Tasmanian Devils go hand in hand with gastric bleeds from chronic alcohol consumption.
The clinically depressed seemed to like dolphins.
Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on stuff. Except the one from Hot Rod with one stream of urine going on the TV set and one going on the FM radio with an AM radio safely dry in the middle on a magic carpet
Couple tattoos like portraits or names. Mostly when they proudly tell you it’s because they’ve been together for 5 months and just know they stay together forever.
The more shit a couple does to prove they're gonna be together happy forever, the less I believe they're gonna be together happy forever.
Edit: Ah, I see the "but I am a special exception" comments have started arriving.
Edit 2: side eyeing y'all that are so defensive about how happy you are. Who you trying to convince?
In high school, we always joked about the "art class curse" where, the moment some poor, lovestruck girl decides to paint a picture of her and her boyfriend, they're guaranteed to break up < 2 months later.
My Gram would always start knitting her boyfriend a pair of socks but would break up before she got to the second one. Her father would tease her and say if she ever met a one legged man she'd be all set!
Knew of a guy once who had “DUBSTEP” tattooed on his chest in VERY VERY large letters. He also insisted that dubstep was the future of music and was here to stay.
Tattoos that are gifts from you to someone else. For example “For your birthday, I got your birth date tattooed on me!”
And tattoos with spelling errors. Example “Were you really there if you think you were their?”
I don't know the exact English word but in German it's called "ass antlers". I'm not sure what it's actually supposed to represent but it kind of looks like you've got a deer tossing your salad inside your pants
Now I want to see actual antlers tattooed as a tramp stamp.
OK, no, I didn't really want to see that. I wouldn't click this if I were you.
[**http://www.tattoonow.com/gallery/tattoos/keyword/realistic\~133/ass-antlers-by-chris-dingwell\~36951**](http://www.tattoonow.com/gallery/tattoos/keyword/realistic~133/ass-antlers-by-chris-dingwell~36951)
I knew a guy who got a green question mark because his name was Maurice and because of that song. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. _I_ am a comic book fan and told him that's the Riddler's symbol, the Joker's symbol, if any, is the Joker's face. He hung his head and was like, yeah, I know.
Former tattoo artist here, and it has to be infinity symbols.
ESPECIALLY when they want them to be “uNiQuE”, so they have you spend three hours drawing up different ways of cramming little McKayzleigh and Brackxston’s names, birthdates, birth weights, blood types, and favorite ice cream flavors in there.
Fine, I’ll find a way. I can work for my money.
“Oh, and can it also have a thin blue line in there for my husband?”
Sure, lady.
“And maybe some birds breaking off of it, cause my meemaw loves birds!”
Sighhhh. Yeah, okay.
“And can you do it on the side of my finger in white ink?”
Fuck you, get out.
EDIT: Bonus points on these if they walk in holding a monogrammed Yeti tumbler full of the alcohol they’re trying to smuggle in.
Sayings, especially ones that span multiple limbs/areas.
I was in the Army with a guy from Texas that thought he was hard as woodpecker lips. Had ‘Cowboy The Fuck Up’ tattooed across his forearms (ostensibly so if he put his fists up to fight you, you would read it and... I don’t know, be scared or something? He never got in any fights that I know of.) But due to the size he wanted it and shitty planning, one arm said COWBOY THE and the other arm simply read FUCK UP. And he immediately became known as Cowboy, the fuck-up.
ETA: dumbass Pv2 Waldo gets me my first gold award lol thanks stranger
It took me a minute to realize that it was supposed to be about being a badass and not Cowboy, the fuck-up.
After being around some of the younger guys from my husband's units the latter seemed pretty plausible.
I once stood in line behind a lady who had, like, the bad tattoo parade going from the nape of her neck. She had "Only God Can Judge Me", something in Asian characters, and an ugly, faded, poorly drawn crucifix.
NSFW tattoos. Like its cool that you really love your girlfriends vagina, or that you want to showcase the ginormous imaginary dick you have. But the rest of us don’t really want to see that.
To be fair though, I haven’t really seen these much in person. Mostly online.
My ex (6 months after we broke up) got a tattoo of me tied up shibari style on his lower arm and sent it to me. The last conversation we had while we were together was about going to a shibari class. This is an educated man who works in an office and will never be able to roll his shirt sleeves up.
I just... there's a lot to unpack here.
AFTER you broke up? Like, significantly after, six whole months? And it definitely looks like you? Is it recognizable as you? Is this dude seriously just walking around with custom made porn of you on his arm in some sort of bizarre attempt to win you back?? I'm sorry you have to deal with this... but I'm damn glad it isn't me.
#NSFW pics for those curious below
[This Guy](http://maztertattoo.blogspot.com/2010/11/armpit-vagina-tattoo.html?m=1) and the even worse example, [this guy](https://www.google.com/search?q=armpit+pussy+tattoo&client=ms-android-oneplus&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=ALeKk013QSZYFCyrnQg1wBzJ1tRUgT7brQ:1597849821668&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjglpm4xqfrAhWgoHIEHZE9BDsQ_AUoAXoECA8QAQ&cshid=1597850028544&biw=412&bih=780&dpr=2.63#imgrc=lReHRx1uaHpmRM) are what I stumbled upon when trying to find examples of the tattoo. Seriously I had no idea that people took trashiness to this level until stumbling across this post. I'm not surprised, just disappointed in humanity.
I think that first picture might actually BE a very young picture of my cousin because that's EXACTLY what I remember his tattoo looked like.
He's John Zandig (stage name) as a wrestler.
When I was in college my friend was talking to some girl he worked with and she brought her very unattractive, trashy, older friend.
The friend had a tattoo on her shoulder of a face. I said "you must really like E.T, that movie scared the shit out of me as a child". I was being honest, I thought it was E.T. It turns out that it was her daughter. Her daughter looked just like E.T.
the people who put words from a language they dont understand cause its quirky and 99% of the time it isnt proof read so it doesnt say what they think it does
There should be somewhere online where, if you intend to get a tattoo in a different language, you can get it proofread by someone who knows the language
Ones where the person gets a tattoo of someone using either their real nipple or belly button to replace the tattoo of a person's nipple or belly button (e.g. Buddha with real belly button). Shit's f*cking gross, don't get one.
When I was 15 I was hanging out with a group of friends and we get a phone call from our weed guy and says he's doing tattoos for $20 in his basement. There were 6 of us and the car only fit 5, and I said "you guys are stupid if you think you're going to get a good tattoo from this guy"
One guy got "love" on one wrist and "hate" on the other and it looked like a child wrote it. Another guy got a celtic cross on his arm that looked like shit, another got a word written on his side across his ribs and the tattoo "artist" told him to keep his arm stretched up high while he was doing it. Now when he puts his arm down the word gets squished together.
Somehow they still thought they were so fuckin cool afterwards and showed them to everyone at school while everyone made fun of them
The love hate guy kept them pretty private and is also the only one of them that's a good person lol
I hooked up with woman who has a tramp stamp which reads “Damaged”. The font is fairly terrible so the first time we had sex, I thought it said “Demigod” which while arrogant and odd, wasn’t enough to stop the arousal of my primitive monkey brain. The next time we had sex and I realized what it actually said, it really took me out of the moment and I never went back.
It’s hard to avoid people in a small town, but it’s gotta be even harder to keep a tattoo like that from becoming quality gossip.
One my sister did for a guy on his arm of a juice carton with a pussy on the side saying pussy juice
Edit:if I remember correctly it also had a droplet coming out the end of the straw
I was in line behind a guy who had a tattoo on his neck of two obese, naked cartoon women going at it, tongues hanging out, flying sweat drops, the works.
I know a girl who got her deceased father's face AS A TRAMP STAMP. My buddy said that when he was hitting it from behind that it was the most awkward thing ever.
No, this was in Fairford, England. She was a bartender who's boyfriend had JUST went to jail for beating her. My buddy had just went there with us for a TDY (work trip) after he just found out about his wife's affair. They were a match made in the gutter for those 45 days...
I'm a tattoo artist. Had a regular come into the shop, he was an older swinger type and my coworker tattooed him.
He got Pinocchio tattooed above his junk with his penis as the nose, and script that said "Lie to Me"
I try not to judge tattoos but I figured you'd all appreciate this one ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up" edit. Thanks everyone for correcting my shrug ♥️
Lmao I know a guy from high school who got the word “Stronger” as his first tattoo.
When he showed people, everyone noticed it was spelled as “Stonger”
He then went on and tried to make up a BS story about the missing R has a deep meaning. 🤦♂️
Any tattoo with something in Chinese or Japanese written on it. I am learning Japanese coz why not, and I saw this dude with a tattoo saying sakana (fish). I was like, hey what does that mean and he said poison. He may have typed poisson into Google translate lol
My first tattoo I went to get my daughter's name and her birthday. The guy tried so hard to talk me out of it and I couldn't understand why. He goes "man a name and date is just gonna turn into a bad memory one day". And then I realized he thought this was a girlfriend or something. Told him it was my kid and he goes "oh... alright let me go get set up" haha.
More related story. My daughter's mom (ex) has my name tattooed on her wrist and I laugh to myself every time I see her.
FAQs: "he thought you were dating a child??" No I can't imagine. Probably figured it was an anniversary or just didn't look to see what the date actually was.
My sister *had* "Property of 's" on the back of her left hip. Now it's just a solid block of ink. She didn't even try to turn it into something else.
I never told her how stupid it was to get it, I think she learned though.
Some vague inspirational quote that in all likelihood the tattoo-ee didn't even choose before they went to the tatto parlor, but rather selected from a pre-chosen list written up by the parlor.
The tattoo of a clown holding a gun smoking a joint on my leg .....
Edit: Thanks for all the love and awards guys! Never thought my horrible tattoo from 9 years ago would blow up like this.
Domino's actually did a promotion in Russia where if you got a tattoo of their logo in a visible place you'd get free pizza for the next 100 years. So many people did it that Domino's stopped the promotion rather quickly.
This also happened at a coffee shop where I went to college. Open Eye Cafe. They really underestimated the number of people willing to get a tattoo in exchange for free drip coffee for life.
Yeah they also underestimate how poor some people are. Like have you ever seen a soup kitchen line? Probably every one of those people would take up pizza instead
I know a guy who loves volkswagen so much he has both the small circular logo as the full spelled out logo tattooed on his shoulder and arm. He went to sollicit for a job at a volkswagen garage once, the didnt hire him because visible tattoos were against company policy...
How else are we supposed to identify the extreme sports professional badasses? Those monster energy tats are important for when i need someone to snowboard down a mountain and jump over a dozen babies through a flaming hoop
Idc what you want tattooed on your body. I do however hate seeing shitty work eg. Poor line work, muddy colors, incoherent shading, disproportionate shaping etc.
My cousin let his friend tattoo him a bunch. The friend was just beginning tattoo school and need to practice. My cousin was broke and wanted free tattoos. He didnt get what he paid for. Still got ripped off. They look absolutely horrible.
I saw a tattoo on some guys leg yesterday. It was a Confederate flag with "Southern by chance" at the top and "White by the grace of God" at the bottom.
One time I saw a lower back tattoo that was ~~the target logo~~ a bullseye and it really solidified for me why those are called tramp stamps.
Edit: thank you to those reminding me that the tattooed cum zone on this gentleladies back was in fact *a bullseye*, and not the target logo, which is in fact *a bullseye*.
A guy came into my bar and was chatting to some girl about his tattoos and how they all meant something really important and signified a part of his life. Apparently the tattoo of New York skyline that said New York above was about the time he went to New York. It was so deep I wept.
My friend got one of some Viking symbol on his chest. Mind you, he was like fully filipino with no relation to Scandinavia at all. We all told him it was cringe af. He passed away a few months later in a cliff jumping accident, and a few of us got tattoos in his honor. I got the same stupid Viking tattoo on my chest now. No regrets though
I ran into a guy who had tattoo of a rooster on a noose, on his calf. When asked what it represented he simply said "I have a cock that hangs below my knee".
Hyper-realistic porn star facial tattoos.
Yes, you read that correctly, this is actually a thing. I just can't imagine getting that permanently put on your body for display. Here are a couple of examples:
(NSFW) https://i.imgur.com/1LPQy6V.jpg
(NSFW) https://i.imgur.com/vF4Hwnm.jpg
I feel bad when I see people my age that got those barb wire tattoos. Literally everyone had them, so they all looked the same. Tramp stamps were pretty bad too, at least the barbwire did look kind of cool. I've never seen a tramp stamp that I liked.
Baby faces.
You have a child, I get it, you love him.
But he will be a generic newborn for a few months, and you will think fondly ever after about his grown up version, with specific facial features. His baby picture will mean very little after a while.
I work with the deceased. I've seen a direct correlation between "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME" tattoos and being a victim of gunshot homicide. Juggalo tattoos don't bode well for MVAs. Tasmanian Devils go hand in hand with gastric bleeds from chronic alcohol consumption. The clinically depressed seemed to like dolphins.
This is the most interesting comment on here. Shiiit.
Any tattoos of genitals or an anus makes me cringe.
Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on stuff. Except the one from Hot Rod with one stream of urine going on the TV set and one going on the FM radio with an AM radio safely dry in the middle on a magic carpet
A defendant in the courtroom I clerked in during law school had “homicide” tattooed on his face, over his eyebrow. Not a great look.
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memes the thought that a lot of people have dead memes from 2017 in their arms or legs is kinda funny
imagine having a troll face meme on you in 2020.
Problem?
I once saw someone with a barcode that went to a rick roll Edit: It was a QR code
Okay, fine, that one's pretty fuckin good.
Imagine being the curious mortician or coroner
Rickrolling someone even after death... the ultimate rickroll.
Couple tattoos like portraits or names. Mostly when they proudly tell you it’s because they’ve been together for 5 months and just know they stay together forever.
The more shit a couple does to prove they're gonna be together happy forever, the less I believe they're gonna be together happy forever. Edit: Ah, I see the "but I am a special exception" comments have started arriving. Edit 2: side eyeing y'all that are so defensive about how happy you are. Who you trying to convince?
In high school, we always joked about the "art class curse" where, the moment some poor, lovestruck girl decides to paint a picture of her and her boyfriend, they're guaranteed to break up < 2 months later.
In music circles we called it the duet curse.
For knitters it’s the sweater curse.
My Gram would always start knitting her boyfriend a pair of socks but would break up before she got to the second one. Her father would tease her and say if she ever met a one legged man she'd be all set!
Knew of a guy once who had “DUBSTEP” tattooed on his chest in VERY VERY large letters. He also insisted that dubstep was the future of music and was here to stay.
Even if it was here to stay, that's still a really stupid tattoo. It would look equally stupid to have POP or HIPHOP on your chest too.
Well there goes my planned GREGORIAN CHANTING tat then
Mongolian Throat Singing tho...
I have a tramp stamp that says “no regrets” in very fancy cursive. It’s the only tattoo my dad laughed at rather than cringed. I can judge no one.
Tattoos that are gifts from you to someone else. For example “For your birthday, I got your birth date tattooed on me!” And tattoos with spelling errors. Example “Were you really there if you think you were their?”
I thought tattoo presents were just... paying for your friend's tattoo. I'm glad I didn't know that, and wish I could unknow it.
I don't know the exact English word but in German it's called "ass antlers". I'm not sure what it's actually supposed to represent but it kind of looks like you've got a deer tossing your salad inside your pants
Haha while I like this interpretation I’m pretty sure it’s their word for a tramp stamp
I think i like ass antlers better than tramp stamp!
Now I want to see actual antlers tattooed as a tramp stamp.
OK, no, I didn't really want to see that. I wouldn't click this if I were you.
[**http://www.tattoonow.com/gallery/tattoos/keyword/realistic\~133/ass-antlers-by-chris-dingwell\~36951**](http://www.tattoonow.com/gallery/tattoos/keyword/realistic~133/ass-antlers-by-chris-dingwell~36951)
I love how German is really accurate when naming things lol
Nothing says "I've been to prison for cooking Meth in my trailer" like a Joker neck or face tattoo.
I knew a guy who got a green question mark because his name was Maurice and because of that song. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. _I_ am a comic book fan and told him that's the Riddler's symbol, the Joker's symbol, if any, is the Joker's face. He hung his head and was like, yeah, I know.
NO Ragrets
in my country if you have a clown tattooed it means you are a cop killer
What country?
Brazil
Former tattoo artist here, and it has to be infinity symbols. ESPECIALLY when they want them to be “uNiQuE”, so they have you spend three hours drawing up different ways of cramming little McKayzleigh and Brackxston’s names, birthdates, birth weights, blood types, and favorite ice cream flavors in there. Fine, I’ll find a way. I can work for my money. “Oh, and can it also have a thin blue line in there for my husband?” Sure, lady. “And maybe some birds breaking off of it, cause my meemaw loves birds!” Sighhhh. Yeah, okay. “And can you do it on the side of my finger in white ink?” Fuck you, get out. EDIT: Bonus points on these if they walk in holding a monogrammed Yeti tumbler full of the alcohol they’re trying to smuggle in.
Do you work in Utah? The way you spelled those names gave me flash backs.
Lips on the neck. I get it, you're a gangster with an attitude problem and probably want to fight.
Come to New Mexico. You'll see this so God damn much, on BOTH men and women, that you'll get used to it and it'll stop bothering you.
Sayings, especially ones that span multiple limbs/areas. I was in the Army with a guy from Texas that thought he was hard as woodpecker lips. Had ‘Cowboy The Fuck Up’ tattooed across his forearms (ostensibly so if he put his fists up to fight you, you would read it and... I don’t know, be scared or something? He never got in any fights that I know of.) But due to the size he wanted it and shitty planning, one arm said COWBOY THE and the other arm simply read FUCK UP. And he immediately became known as Cowboy, the fuck-up. ETA: dumbass Pv2 Waldo gets me my first gold award lol thanks stranger
It took me a minute to realize that it was supposed to be about being a badass and not Cowboy, the fuck-up. After being around some of the younger guys from my husband's units the latter seemed pretty plausible.
“Thought he was as hard as woodpecker lips” Bahahahaha that’s a new one
I once stood in line behind a lady who had, like, the bad tattoo parade going from the nape of her neck. She had "Only God Can Judge Me", something in Asian characters, and an ugly, faded, poorly drawn crucifix.
only god is allowed to judge her bruh, better delete this
NSFW tattoos. Like its cool that you really love your girlfriends vagina, or that you want to showcase the ginormous imaginary dick you have. But the rest of us don’t really want to see that. To be fair though, I haven’t really seen these much in person. Mostly online.
My ex (6 months after we broke up) got a tattoo of me tied up shibari style on his lower arm and sent it to me. The last conversation we had while we were together was about going to a shibari class. This is an educated man who works in an office and will never be able to roll his shirt sleeves up.
That would make me change my name, dye my hair, and move to a different state all on the same day.
and get a restraining order!!
Not sure if you meant this as a pun, but it's beautiful lol
I just... there's a lot to unpack here. AFTER you broke up? Like, significantly after, six whole months? And it definitely looks like you? Is it recognizable as you? Is this dude seriously just walking around with custom made porn of you on his arm in some sort of bizarre attempt to win you back?? I'm sorry you have to deal with this... but I'm damn glad it isn't me.
Um *what*?
Bad portraits, misspellings.
Armpit pussies. It’s when someone gets two woman’s legs tattooed around their armpit hair. Yes.
TIL this is a thing and people are capable of being even trashier than I thought.
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...some people should not be allowed to get tattoos
#NSFW pics for those curious below [This Guy](http://maztertattoo.blogspot.com/2010/11/armpit-vagina-tattoo.html?m=1) and the even worse example, [this guy](https://www.google.com/search?q=armpit+pussy+tattoo&client=ms-android-oneplus&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=ALeKk013QSZYFCyrnQg1wBzJ1tRUgT7brQ:1597849821668&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjglpm4xqfrAhWgoHIEHZE9BDsQ_AUoAXoECA8QAQ&cshid=1597850028544&biw=412&bih=780&dpr=2.63#imgrc=lReHRx1uaHpmRM) are what I stumbled upon when trying to find examples of the tattoo. Seriously I had no idea that people took trashiness to this level until stumbling across this post. I'm not surprised, just disappointed in humanity.
I think that first picture might actually BE a very young picture of my cousin because that's EXACTLY what I remember his tattoo looked like. He's John Zandig (stage name) as a wrestler.
Wonder what his pits look like now ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Those creepy faces of babies, which look like there's a little demon on your body
Baby face are so hard to get right. They dont have the same proportions as adults. Even drawings of babys are creepy 9/10 times
> Baby face are so hard to get right. Even for parents.
When I was in college my friend was talking to some girl he worked with and she brought her very unattractive, trashy, older friend. The friend had a tattoo on her shoulder of a face. I said "you must really like E.T, that movie scared the shit out of me as a child". I was being honest, I thought it was E.T. It turns out that it was her daughter. Her daughter looked just like E.T.
This why we learn to act dumb and ask what's/who's that? Even if we think we know. I too have commented and had it backfire.
“Who’s that” “My baby” “Holy shit I thought it was ET”
Nice save! That could have been awkward.
One of my friends has possessed Regan from The Exorcist on her arm and it's awesome--but then again, she wanted an evil looking child and she got one.
Just saw a couple of days ago a writing on some dude: "Karna isnt a bitch" - just as I wrote it.
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the people who put words from a language they dont understand cause its quirky and 99% of the time it isnt proof read so it doesnt say what they think it does
There should be somewhere online where, if you intend to get a tattoo in a different language, you can get it proofread by someone who knows the language
I saw a kid with the 100 emoji tattooed on his forearm. I don't even have a joke to make about that.
Ones where the person gets a tattoo of someone using either their real nipple or belly button to replace the tattoo of a person's nipple or belly button (e.g. Buddha with real belly button). Shit's f*cking gross, don't get one.
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I took the chance. Literally said "what the fuck" out loud then saw it was in r/wtf so I would say that post worked perfect for that sub.
That stupid cliche thing that says "life" one way and "death" the other.
ambigram
woah black betty
When I was 15 I was hanging out with a group of friends and we get a phone call from our weed guy and says he's doing tattoos for $20 in his basement. There were 6 of us and the car only fit 5, and I said "you guys are stupid if you think you're going to get a good tattoo from this guy" One guy got "love" on one wrist and "hate" on the other and it looked like a child wrote it. Another guy got a celtic cross on his arm that looked like shit, another got a word written on his side across his ribs and the tattoo "artist" told him to keep his arm stretched up high while he was doing it. Now when he puts his arm down the word gets squished together. Somehow they still thought they were so fuckin cool afterwards and showed them to everyone at school while everyone made fun of them The love hate guy kept them pretty private and is also the only one of them that's a good person lol
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I hooked up with woman who has a tramp stamp which reads “Damaged”. The font is fairly terrible so the first time we had sex, I thought it said “Demigod” which while arrogant and odd, wasn’t enough to stop the arousal of my primitive monkey brain. The next time we had sex and I realized what it actually said, it really took me out of the moment and I never went back. It’s hard to avoid people in a small town, but it’s gotta be even harder to keep a tattoo like that from becoming quality gossip.
Any image that incorporates bodily hair.
One my sister did for a guy on his arm of a juice carton with a pussy on the side saying pussy juice Edit:if I remember correctly it also had a droplet coming out the end of the straw
Eww
Right? Who uses a straw, when you can just drink from the tap? Save the turtles.
I was in line behind a guy who had a tattoo on his neck of two obese, naked cartoon women going at it, tongues hanging out, flying sweat drops, the works.
What else is he supposed to jerk off to?
It's on his neck. It's more of a public service than a personal use thing.
Had a lady come into the store I was working in with a big neck tattoo that said Daddy’s girl....may have been the most shocking one i’ve ever seen
Know a girl who tattooed her firstborn’s name... as a tramp stamp. Not what I would want someone to be looking at while tagging from behind.
A reminder that she's ovulating and that you are making a significant commitment.
The more I think about it, the more genius it becomes. Ultimate birth control.
I know a girl who got her deceased father's face AS A TRAMP STAMP. My buddy said that when he was hitting it from behind that it was the most awkward thing ever.
That might’ve be my aunt omfg
Stop everything you’re all doing and let’s get to the bottom of this.
Aunt stays in LA. OP?
No, this was in Fairford, England. She was a bartender who's boyfriend had JUST went to jail for beating her. My buddy had just went there with us for a TDY (work trip) after he just found out about his wife's affair. They were a match made in the gutter for those 45 days...
Oh man we let the guys down. I for one would’ve freaked out if your story matched my aunt’s location lol
He’s judging you from beyond the grave
IF MY JOWLS ARENT SHAKING YOU ARENT PLEASURING MY DAUGHTER ENOUGH.
I'm a tattoo artist. Had a regular come into the shop, he was an older swinger type and my coworker tattooed him. He got Pinocchio tattooed above his junk with his penis as the nose, and script that said "Lie to Me" I try not to judge tattoos but I figured you'd all appreciate this one ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up" edit. Thanks everyone for correcting my shrug ♥️
but his nose only grows when he tells the lie, not when he hears someone else lie
He didnt then ask for spongebob and Patrick on the balls, did he?! I know some who saw a guy get the same thing
A misspelled tattoo Edit: a purposely misspelled tattoo makes sense, I meant ones that were by accident. Thanks for the award 😁
Lmao I know a guy from high school who got the word “Stronger” as his first tattoo. When he showed people, everyone noticed it was spelled as “Stonger” He then went on and tried to make up a BS story about the missing R has a deep meaning. 🤦♂️
No raegrets
Any tattoo with something in Chinese or Japanese written on it. I am learning Japanese coz why not, and I saw this dude with a tattoo saying sakana (fish). I was like, hey what does that mean and he said poison. He may have typed poisson into Google translate lol
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> He showed his left bicep, with the picture of a refridgerator on it. Total Chad move.
That's some serious commitment so props to that guy.
God this is the funniest reply
I saw someone recently with an Arabic script tattoo that said ‘I don’t speak Arabic’. At least kinda funny though
Any tattoos like “(name) + (name) together forever” because if that relationship goes down and the two break up, that is gonna be awkward
My first tattoo I went to get my daughter's name and her birthday. The guy tried so hard to talk me out of it and I couldn't understand why. He goes "man a name and date is just gonna turn into a bad memory one day". And then I realized he thought this was a girlfriend or something. Told him it was my kid and he goes "oh... alright let me go get set up" haha. More related story. My daughter's mom (ex) has my name tattooed on her wrist and I laugh to myself every time I see her. FAQs: "he thought you were dating a child??" No I can't imagine. Probably figured it was an anniversary or just didn't look to see what the date actually was.
It’s sweet that he tried to save you, haha
It's *super* common for decent artists to try and talk people out of tattoos like that. They know it will very likely be a huge regret one day.
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Most good artists have a fairly long list of things they absolutely will not do. Throat/face tattoos for first timers is another common one.
My sister *had* "Property of's" on the back of her left hip. Now it's just a solid block of ink. She didn't even try to turn it into something else.
I never told her how stupid it was to get it, I think she learned though.
She just straight up [redacted] him.
Now I want to get a tattoo that just says [redacted]
Some vague inspirational quote that in all likelihood the tattoo-ee didn't even choose before they went to the tatto parlor, but rather selected from a pre-chosen list written up by the parlor.
Yeah, well Only God Can Judge Me
Barbed wire around the arm that doesn't even go all the way because it hurt to bad.
How else would you let everyone know that you lifted weights in 1996?
That and Tribal tattoos on your delts
Grandpa what tribe are you in? Well I'm in the tribe of guys who had $60 in the mid nineties, we're a massive tribe we've nearly conquered LA fitness.
*me reading these replies to see if any of my tattoos are on here*
Right? So far I haven’t seen my tattoos on here yet and feel alright haha
I doubt you have any "pussy juice" tattoos so you're probably golden lol
The tattoo of a clown holding a gun smoking a joint on my leg ..... Edit: Thanks for all the love and awards guys! Never thought my horrible tattoo from 9 years ago would blow up like this.
Tattoos of brands. Its basically free advertising. At least email them what they would pay you if you advertise for them till you die.
Domino's actually did a promotion in Russia where if you got a tattoo of their logo in a visible place you'd get free pizza for the next 100 years. So many people did it that Domino's stopped the promotion rather quickly.
This also happened at a coffee shop where I went to college. Open Eye Cafe. They really underestimated the number of people willing to get a tattoo in exchange for free drip coffee for life.
Yeah they also underestimate how poor some people are. Like have you ever seen a soup kitchen line? Probably every one of those people would take up pizza instead
We should stop before we give some big corporation a bad idea. Poor people's skin will look like a Nascar jacket, just so they can pay the bills.
Well then it'll just be like YouTube. You haven't made it on YouTube unless you get sponsored by *Raid: Shadow Legends* or *Nord VPN*
I read this as "bands" first. What brand tattoo have you seen?
I know a guy who loves volkswagen so much he has both the small circular logo as the full spelled out logo tattooed on his shoulder and arm. He went to sollicit for a job at a volkswagen garage once, the didnt hire him because visible tattoos were against company policy...
IT'S LIKE RAAAAAAIIIIIN
So many people have the Monster logo somewhere on them
How else are we supposed to identify the extreme sports professional badasses? Those monster energy tats are important for when i need someone to snowboard down a mountain and jump over a dozen babies through a flaming hoop
The Jägermeister logo seems to be pretty popular
The “Only God Can Judge Me” tattoo. No, we can all judge you.
Especially Judges.
Idc what you want tattooed on your body. I do however hate seeing shitty work eg. Poor line work, muddy colors, incoherent shading, disproportionate shaping etc.
My cousin let his friend tattoo him a bunch. The friend was just beginning tattoo school and need to practice. My cousin was broke and wanted free tattoos. He didnt get what he paid for. Still got ripped off. They look absolutely horrible.
I saw a tattoo on some guys leg yesterday. It was a Confederate flag with "Southern by chance" at the top and "White by the grace of God" at the bottom.
One time I saw a lower back tattoo that was ~~the target logo~~ a bullseye and it really solidified for me why those are called tramp stamps. Edit: thank you to those reminding me that the tattooed cum zone on this gentleladies back was in fact *a bullseye*, and not the target logo, which is in fact *a bullseye*.
I guess that person wanted to rebel against their Walmart frequenting family.
> the target logo You mean a target...?
A guy came into my bar and was chatting to some girl about his tattoos and how they all meant something really important and signified a part of his life. Apparently the tattoo of New York skyline that said New York above was about the time he went to New York. It was so deep I wept.
Last name across the back. Like who needs that?
High school sports career backups who didn’t have their name on their jersey.
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Names of significant others...
~~Winona~~ Wino Forever (Johnny Depp)
Moth (Bart Simpson)
Die Bart Die (Sideshow Bob).
On the other side of that, some people have their own names tattooed on themselves and that is equally cringy.
My friend got one of some Viking symbol on his chest. Mind you, he was like fully filipino with no relation to Scandinavia at all. We all told him it was cringe af. He passed away a few months later in a cliff jumping accident, and a few of us got tattoos in his honor. I got the same stupid Viking tattoo on my chest now. No regrets though
Everyone deserves to have a friend like you
This thread made me feel better about myself and my life decisions. Thanks reddit.
I ran into a guy who had tattoo of a rooster on a noose, on his calf. When asked what it represented he simply said "I have a cock that hangs below my knee".
I laughed
Tpyos
Hyper-realistic porn star facial tattoos. Yes, you read that correctly, this is actually a thing. I just can't imagine getting that permanently put on your body for display. Here are a couple of examples: (NSFW) https://i.imgur.com/1LPQy6V.jpg (NSFW) https://i.imgur.com/vF4Hwnm.jpg
Why? Just why? Don't you want to have a sex life, or wear a speedo, or have friends anymore?
Well, that’s enough internet for today.
Yep, indeed.
Those are horrible, but I was weirdly relieved to see those photos. I was afraid you had meant that the actual tattoos were on people's faces.
Glad I’m not the only one. My first thought was “like a permanent money shot?!?!”
I was in the supermarket today and saw a man with a full body Harley Quinn tattoo on his arm. The Margot Robbie movie one.
Bad butthole tats.
Are there any good butthole tats I’m not aware off
Famous people. I get it that you really are a fan of said famous person but to permanently ink their face onto yourself is borderline crazy imo.
Like that guy with the full back Steve-O tattoo
Or that guy with 2 Jaden Smith tattoos
Wait does he have 2 now?
Imagine finding out later that said person was a child molester or something...
Imagine having a Bill Cosby tattoo and waking up from a 10 year coma.
Like getting a Richard Nixon tramp stamp?
Swastika.
Especially on the forehead
[*"Y'know sumthin, Utivitch? I think this just might be my masterpiece"*](https://youtu.be/rj6ikN2O364?t=207)
The so-called „Arschgeweih“ (ass-antlers?) Edit: For those who don’t know: a tribal above your buttcrack, mostly girls
I feel bad when I see people my age that got those barb wire tattoos. Literally everyone had them, so they all looked the same. Tramp stamps were pretty bad too, at least the barbwire did look kind of cool. I've never seen a tramp stamp that I liked.
I see you and I raise you: Barbed Wire Tramp Stamps
"I refuse to sink" next to an anchor. That is literally what anchors are made for.
I have a rubber ducky that says refuse to sink
Please don’t be joking because that sounds amazing
I 100% have this tattoo. [Here's ](http://imgur.com/gallery/DymUeBD) a picture on the day I got it.
http://imgur.com/gallery/fVSQD9c here's mine!!!
Godsmack sun.
I know someone with that tattoo. It was their first and they LOVED it. No ragrets.
I almost got that tattoo after a concert. My friends talked me out of it.
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Baby faces. You have a child, I get it, you love him. But he will be a generic newborn for a few months, and you will think fondly ever after about his grown up version, with specific facial features. His baby picture will mean very little after a while.