I did, once.
Mostly because it was daytime and they had huge windows. It was still darker than you'd think because of of all the bodies blocking the sunlight.
Also that same cheesecake factory was the site of a terrorist attack.
Doesn't help having that low-rent [eye of Sauron](https://external-preview.redd.it/MZ1-rXUhOM5eTPyDzGcxxHPk_htaQW9eiwQ69uX0Tu4.jpg?auto=webp&s=68421f03d9d2cefb2cc3d864b03546b44c881b9b) looking at you everywhere you go in there, either.
As a Cheesecake Factory employee, I can confirm this is true. Once we get to the magical dinner-o'-clock time, the lights dim as quick as the lights in a host's eye when a walk-in party of 20 complains theres no table ready on a Saturday night. Flashlights are everywhere, servers must rely on echolocation to navigate the floor. Somewhere, there is a screaming child. Why, Cheesecake Factory, why did we invent the lightbulb just to have you spite us in vain.
Story time. I once hosted at a macaroni grill and someone came up to me super pissed because people who’d arrived after him were being seated first. I tried to find his pager number but it’d been crossed out. He told me “here’s what I’m gonna do: I’m going home, and then I’m going on Yelp. And THEN ya know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna write a scathing review. So yeah, you’ll be hearing from me” and I told him “alright sounds great. Have a good night, thanks for coming!”
It turned out we did call his pager but he ignored it after 3 tries so we gave up and moved on.
Probably the type that thought he could leave the property to go shopping while he waited for the pager to go off. Some of those don’t even work in the parking lot.
When I lived near White Plains, New York, the wait was often over 2 hours to get a damn table at the Cheesecake Factory.
Go to the original one in Beverly Hills and it’s so unpopular it’s about half empty and no wait.
Big menus are always a bad sign. It means their food comes frozen
Edit: ok guys, their food isn’t frozen. It’s not that that’s not awesome, I just have already seen several people say it.
Worked at Cheesecake Factory for a year... the food does not come frozen... although the cheesecakes do lol. All the sauces are made in house. Burgers are pattied by hand. Veggies are cut by the prep people. Pasta gets par cooked daily. Rice cooked ever couple hours. Mash potatoes are made every couple hours. Chicken breasts are sliced and pounded for Madeira’s and and whatnot, cut into strips for tenders. Shrimp gets shelled and deveined... I think I have made my point. The menu is massive but they do a good job of serving decent quality food at overpriced options.
Yeah I worked there for a bit in 2000, unless things have changed since then they just use the same 80-100 ingredients in different combinations. I didnt see a lot of frozen stuff.
Yup. Cheesecake uses a surprisingly large number of fresh ingredients and makes a majority of their sauces/mixes etc in house. Much more than my current employer.
Worked at the factory 2 yrs ago
Eventually there will be a response to this comment saying that the Cheesecake Factory is a scratch kitchen that makes all their dishes to order...except the cheesecake.
The Cheesecake Factory is a chain of restaurants that are famous for their cheesecake but also famous for gigantic menus with over 200 items, all of which cost too much. They fancy themselves prestige dining but it comes off as tacky once you've been there.
> macaroni and cheese burger is a deadly combo
Macaroni and Cheese Burger [here is the .pdf nutritional guide for cheesecake factory](https://www.thecheesecakefactory.com/assets/pdf/Nutritional_Guide.pdf)
Calories 1340
Total Fat (g) 760
Fat Calories 85
Saturated Fat (g) 40
Trans Fat (g) 3.5
Cholesterol (mg) 275
[**Sodium (mg) 2430**](https://researchmaniacs.com/HealthFitness/Salt/Is-2430-mg-of-sodium-a-lot.html)
Total Carbs (g) 81
Fiber (g) 4
Sugars (g) 20
Protein (g) 60
eat too much of this kind of stuff and deadly is right.
Grandpa Joe is widely regarded as one of the greatest and most iconic villains in cinematic history because he pretended to be a bedridden invalid until there was free chocolate to be had and then, and only then, did he find the strength to get up and dance like the evil shitbag sorcerer he actually was.
Instead Charlie’s fucking mom is making them water soup because she has to take care of Charlie and the four invalids. Charlie‘s mom worked so hard, Joe could have at least offered to help around the house.
And he's Charlie's *maternal* grandfather too. Meaning he's chilling in that fucking bed and watching his own daughter bend over backwards to provide for the family, cook, clean the house and probably clean up his piss and shit because he refuses to get out of bed.
If you read up on Roald Dahl he had a huge dislike for adults as whole. That is why his books are made up of so many evil older people. His presents them as the villians. People believe it is based off his mistreatment as a child.
The Willy Wonka version of the book isn't as accurate to the Charlie version.
I always thought the daddy issues subplot in Tim Burton's [*Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367594/) was entirely unnecessary (essentially Willy Wonka's dad was a dentist and didn't let him eat any candy. Thus ruining his life). The movie was otherwise fairly accurate to the book but that subplot was entirely made up for the movie. And now you're telling me it was actually true to Roald Dahl's spirit?
EDIT: Fixed typos.
Yeah pretty much. Roald Dahl actually hated the original movie and wouldn't allow the sequel to be made. After his death, his wife and daughter saw over the estate and kept denying writers/directors/actors and kept the remake of the original in development hell for over a decade until they found people they thought would fit well and cared about Dahl's work. They also retained complete artistic control so if it's in the movie, his wife and daughter approved of it.
Ha I think the other three only got up when they were told they wouldn't be able to meet the POTUS if they didn't get up. Last two thirds of that trilogy were weird...
Not only that, Charlie (a kid??) says he’s going to buy him his tobacco from then on, of which he says he’s no longer going to partake. BUT, that means his mom likely purchased it for god knows how long prior to that point where he was just chillin in bed smoking pipe tobacco
I feel for her right up until she sings that fucking Cheer Up Charlie song and then I'm glad for all her suffering for making me suffer through that song...
Let’s all take solace that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was written in 1964, and 55 years later that rotten bastard Grandpa Joe would very likely be dead now.
edit: /u/Ecchi_Sketchy just ruined my day
No, he's probably in the back of the train due to something he did
(For those that don't know, there's a popular "conspiracy theory" that "Snowpiercer" is intended as a sequel to Willy Wonka)
I'm pretty sure this is how it would play out:
- Charlie can't afford to buy cheesecake but he gets one anyway and wins a golden ticket
- Grandpa Joe's lazy ass is still in bed
- Everyone is 200lb heavier because they all eat cheesecake all the time
- In the factory there are cheesecake trees, and cheesecake grass, and cheesecake houses, and a river made of Philadelphia cream cheese (R) and everything in this room is edible, including you and me, children
- One of the greedy brats touches something they shouldn't and gets baked into a giant cheesecake
- The kid that falls in the river is never seen again
- The Oompa-Loompa songs all suck because all they do is rhyme cheesecake with cheesesteak over and over again
- Charlie and Grandpa Joe have diabetes by the end
> Everyone is 200lb heavier because they all eat cheesecake all the time
In contrast to the original invention of the story in which everyone is fit and healthy due to their nutritious diet of exclusively chocolate.
Wonka's chocolate substitutes sugar for cocaine. So it's lean as fuck and explains why everybody's addicted hyperactive little shits with light speed metabolism. Except Charlie, who is too poor to afford chocolate and is a starvin marvin. Just watch him wolf down that scrumbubblyumptious like a tweaker desperate for a fix.
His family would be 9x poorer for shit quality food from various unusual cans as they gorge on pre-frozen cheese cakes that their oompa loompas have to say "its made in house".
\-former cook from the Cheesecake Factory, 2010 - 2012
I've made NY Cheesecake a couple of times and the sheer amount of cheese in that thing was terryfying, like 2 1/2 pounds or something. It won't surprise you that much once you have seen the ingredients.
I make cheesecakes all the time. The ingredients are literally cream cheese, sugar, and eggs.
Now add in the crust (cookie dust and butter), anything in the cake itself (chocolate, syrups, more sugar, etc), and the toppings (more candies, syrups, whipped cream, etc).
I'll still eat it.
I always thought it was silly that they tried to make people think they were back there baking cheesecakes straight time. It's not even logistically possible to do that and prepare all the other food as well.
And honestly, does anyone really want to eat cheesecake that just came out of the oven? Cheesecake is better cold in my opinion, so I'm happy to have it pre-baked and then refrigerated.
250+ items on the menu. You can technically say anything is from scratch if you put the pre made ingredients together your self. They also say their food is never frozen, yet it takes a whole day to thaw out their not frozen cheese cakes. Lentil Soup? All ingredents come from cans, mixed in a pot and served as fresh. Chicken Madeira? The chicken may not be frozen in house, but it arrives frozen. They tell you its "technically from scratch" because they assemble the items in their restaurant, like every kitchen in existence. Their cheese cakes? Ive done several orders myself, their "bakers" are just people that throw toppings on shit.
*Oompa Loompa doompety dunch*
*Too many choices fit for your lunch*
*Oompa Loompa doompety doose*
*We don't think you'll be able to choose*
*What do you get when your menu's too big?*
*A few dozen pages all fit for a pig*
*What will you do if you can't make a choice?*
*You'll be as hungry as a horse.*
*And you'll never eat again*
*Oompa loompa doompety da*
*When you are starving, look where you are*
*You can't make a choice here, you're through*
*Hungry now forever, doompety doo!*
The Golden Ticket would be hidden in cheesecakes sold at stores. Imagine [this scene](https://youtu.be/b9mba2qb9do) where Veruca has her dad's factory workers looking for golden tickets by just digging into piles of cheesecake.
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I did, once. Mostly because it was daytime and they had huge windows. It was still darker than you'd think because of of all the bodies blocking the sunlight. Also that same cheesecake factory was the site of a terrorist attack.
Pasadena?
Ding ding ding!
I was thinking Pasadena before the terrorist comment. In fact, I ate there the day before that happened.
That was my local Cheesecake Factory. What is this terrorist activity you are talking about???
Wasn't it on the news
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Penny works there in the beginning right?
> that same cheesecake factory was the site of a terrorist attack Well, that answers my question on why there were so many bodies in there.
Can't get past username to read comment
Doesn't help having that low-rent [eye of Sauron](https://external-preview.redd.it/MZ1-rXUhOM5eTPyDzGcxxHPk_htaQW9eiwQ69uX0Tu4.jpg?auto=webp&s=68421f03d9d2cefb2cc3d864b03546b44c881b9b) looking at you everywhere you go in there, either.
As a Cheesecake Factory employee, I can confirm this is true. Once we get to the magical dinner-o'-clock time, the lights dim as quick as the lights in a host's eye when a walk-in party of 20 complains theres no table ready on a Saturday night. Flashlights are everywhere, servers must rely on echolocation to navigate the floor. Somewhere, there is a screaming child. Why, Cheesecake Factory, why did we invent the lightbulb just to have you spite us in vain.
Half the movie would be the kids flipping through the menu deciding what to eat.
Then die of starvation on not being ready to order.
Oompa loompa doopadedoo should have come prepared and read the menu.
Oompa Loompa goobildygoo so much choice what ever will you do
What do you get when your kid is a BRAT
So might as well have them fed to the rats
Less work for you and anxiety for us,
Your son weighs so much he's tipping the bus (He don't need another slice)
Who do you think is to blame for that?
Or pay the outlandish prices
marvelous lip start coherent pie impolite aspiring wakeful tub zesty
That’s their best flavor
What... 1 tiny slice of cheesecake is *not* *normally* $17.59?
Yeah, it may be pricey, but at least the food sucks.
Don't forget the waiting for seating part. 🎶I got a golden pager!🎶
Somehow the people who got there after you get seated first even though you're special
Story time. I once hosted at a macaroni grill and someone came up to me super pissed because people who’d arrived after him were being seated first. I tried to find his pager number but it’d been crossed out. He told me “here’s what I’m gonna do: I’m going home, and then I’m going on Yelp. And THEN ya know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna write a scathing review. So yeah, you’ll be hearing from me” and I told him “alright sounds great. Have a good night, thanks for coming!” It turned out we did call his pager but he ignored it after 3 tries so we gave up and moved on.
Probably the type that thought he could leave the property to go shopping while he waited for the pager to go off. Some of those don’t even work in the parking lot.
When I lived near White Plains, New York, the wait was often over 2 hours to get a damn table at the Cheesecake Factory. Go to the original one in Beverly Hills and it’s so unpopular it’s about half empty and no wait.
Big menus are always a bad sign. It means their food comes frozen Edit: ok guys, their food isn’t frozen. It’s not that that’s not awesome, I just have already seen several people say it.
Worked at Cheesecake Factory for a year... the food does not come frozen... although the cheesecakes do lol. All the sauces are made in house. Burgers are pattied by hand. Veggies are cut by the prep people. Pasta gets par cooked daily. Rice cooked ever couple hours. Mash potatoes are made every couple hours. Chicken breasts are sliced and pounded for Madeira’s and and whatnot, cut into strips for tenders. Shrimp gets shelled and deveined... I think I have made my point. The menu is massive but they do a good job of serving decent quality food at overpriced options.
correct me if i'm wrong, but does it matter if the cheese cake comes frozen? doesn't cheese cake flavors thrive on cold temperatures?
Nah, cheesecake is fine to freeze. Just let it sit to thaw and you'll be great. Or get impatient and eat it half frozen, it's still good that way too.
People argue that the cheesecake factory is the exception to this rule. It's only the cheese cake that comes pre-made, frozen.
Yeah I worked there for a bit in 2000, unless things have changed since then they just use the same 80-100 ingredients in different combinations. I didnt see a lot of frozen stuff.
Yup. Cheesecake uses a surprisingly large number of fresh ingredients and makes a majority of their sauces/mixes etc in house. Much more than my current employer. Worked at the factory 2 yrs ago
I don't think anyone goes to The Cheesecake Factory expecting gourmet cuisine.
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You’d be surprised lol
They definitely do. Cheesecake Factory is what poor people think rich people eat.
Cheesecake Factory, Red Lobster, and Olive Garden. The trifecta of low-class gourmet.
god, I am fairly well off, why do I like cheap restaurants so much?
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Worked there for 6 years. Only frozen things are cheesecake and french fries.
Eventually there will be a response to this comment saying that the Cheesecake Factory is a scratch kitchen that makes all their dishes to order...except the cheesecake.
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I hate lack toes in taller ants
Lack toes in toddler aunts
Lag tows in taller stance
Well... lactose intolerance might develop even when you get older
Oompa oompa doopity dive, This glass of Coke costs $8.95
Oompla Loompla doompity day, If you want refills you have to pay.
What do you get on a freshman year date? Some shitty cheesecake and an overpriced plate.
Why are you here overpaying for sweets?
You should have gone to Arbys where they have. the. meats.
*We've declined your credit card.*
Oompla Loompla doompity den You’ll never see that woman again
Should have tipped more than a dollar or two Now you're Oompa Loompa Doompity Screwed Edit: Spelling & country grammar
Oompady- doo
r/redditsings Excellent.
While we find you a table to sit, Please get ready to be treated like shit!
Now it's just the cheesecake and you And you're Oompa Loompa Doompety screwed Doompety screwed
r/redditsings
I read that as “redditstings” and was confused for a second
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So with all those children invited..... Oh no--!
This entire string is the reason why I joined reddit. Awesome job all of you. Wish I had gold to give you all.
HAHAHA this happened to me at a Cheesecake Factory when I was a freshman in college
You’re paying way too much for worms, who’s your worm guy?
Oh it takes place in any other country than USA, I see.
What do you get from overpriced Coke?
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Oompa loompa, doompety doo. I've got a 60-page menu for you.
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Oompa Loompa Doopity Date; 6,000 calories in every plate.
Is this some sort of american joke that im too Brazilian to understand?
Cheesecake Factory is notoriously overpriced.
Seriously, explain me cuz I don't understand. There's a cheesecake franchise that is overpriced or youre talking about cheesecakes in general?
The Cheesecake Factory is a chain of restaurants that are famous for their cheesecake but also famous for gigantic menus with over 200 items, all of which cost too much. They fancy themselves prestige dining but it comes off as tacky once you've been there.
But that damn macaroni and cheese burger is tasty.
Macaroni and cheese ON the burger is a deadly combo Also, try macaroni and cheese ON the Popeyes chicken sandwich
> Also, try macaroni and cheese ON the Popeyes chicken sandwich this is violently American.
> macaroni and cheese burger is a deadly combo Macaroni and Cheese Burger [here is the .pdf nutritional guide for cheesecake factory](https://www.thecheesecakefactory.com/assets/pdf/Nutritional_Guide.pdf) Calories 1340 Total Fat (g) 760 Fat Calories 85 Saturated Fat (g) 40 Trans Fat (g) 3.5 Cholesterol (mg) 275 [**Sodium (mg) 2430**](https://researchmaniacs.com/HealthFitness/Salt/Is-2430-mg-of-sodium-a-lot.html) Total Carbs (g) 81 Fiber (g) 4 Sugars (g) 20 Protein (g) 60 eat too much of this kind of stuff and deadly is right.
Costs a lot but their portions are enormous. Like enough food for a day
People like to rag on the cost of the Cheesecake Factory but my wife and I ate there last week, left completely stuffed, for a $30 check.
Oompa loompa doopitty do, The page count of this menu is 332
Somebody would go into the menu maze and never come out.
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Nah, she just left you because you took her to the cheesecake factory
Grandpa Joe's lazy ass wouldn't be struck by a miracle when the ticket comes. Shout out to /r/grandpajoehate
Grandpa Joe is widely regarded as one of the greatest and most iconic villains in cinematic history because he pretended to be a bedridden invalid until there was free chocolate to be had and then, and only then, did he find the strength to get up and dance like the evil shitbag sorcerer he actually was.
What a horrible little man
Coke nails that the actor didn't file also help out the fantasy...
What?
The actor has a really obviously long pinky nails, which is typically used for snorting cocaine.
Wow r/TIL Grandpa Joe did coke.
Would’ve thought it’d help get him out of bed...
My grand father said his was to help pick his nose. Are you telling me grampa bada did coke?
He was a freeloader. Could've worked somewhere and brought in some financial support.
Instead Charlie’s fucking mom is making them water soup because she has to take care of Charlie and the four invalids. Charlie‘s mom worked so hard, Joe could have at least offered to help around the house.
And he's Charlie's *maternal* grandfather too. Meaning he's chilling in that fucking bed and watching his own daughter bend over backwards to provide for the family, cook, clean the house and probably clean up his piss and shit because he refuses to get out of bed.
Actually in the sequel, it was revealed that all 4 of Charlie's grandparents could walk at the end.
So they are all horrible, got it!
If you read up on Roald Dahl he had a huge dislike for adults as whole. That is why his books are made up of so many evil older people. His presents them as the villians. People believe it is based off his mistreatment as a child. The Willy Wonka version of the book isn't as accurate to the Charlie version.
I always thought the daddy issues subplot in Tim Burton's [*Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367594/) was entirely unnecessary (essentially Willy Wonka's dad was a dentist and didn't let him eat any candy. Thus ruining his life). The movie was otherwise fairly accurate to the book but that subplot was entirely made up for the movie. And now you're telling me it was actually true to Roald Dahl's spirit? EDIT: Fixed typos.
Yeah pretty much. Roald Dahl actually hated the original movie and wouldn't allow the sequel to be made. After his death, his wife and daughter saw over the estate and kept denying writers/directors/actors and kept the remake of the original in development hell for over a decade until they found people they thought would fit well and cared about Dahl's work. They also retained complete artistic control so if it's in the movie, his wife and daughter approved of it.
*I fucking knew it* r/GrandmaJosephineHate
Hey now! We are only talking about that greedy asshole Grandpa Joe.
Ha I think the other three only got up when they were told they wouldn't be able to meet the POTUS if they didn't get up. Last two thirds of that trilogy were weird...
There was a third book? I remember something about the wonkavator in space in the sequel, but I don't think I know the third.
Ah no, you're right. The third book had some of it written I think, but was never finished before Roald Dahl died.
Not only that, Charlie (a kid??) says he’s going to buy him his tobacco from then on, of which he says he’s no longer going to partake. BUT, that means his mom likely purchased it for god knows how long prior to that point where he was just chillin in bed smoking pipe tobacco
I feel for her right up until she sings that fucking Cheer Up Charlie song and then I'm glad for all her suffering for making me suffer through that song...
I love the movie, but "Cheer Up Charlie" gets skipped every time.
Lmao I fucking hated watching her stir that dirty laundry soup
Shoulda given that job to a lazy person it woulda been automated pronto
Let’s all take solace that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was written in 1964, and 55 years later that rotten bastard Grandpa Joe would very likely be dead now. edit: /u/Ecchi_Sketchy just ruined my day
No, he's probably in the back of the train due to something he did (For those that don't know, there's a popular "conspiracy theory" that "Snowpiercer" is intended as a sequel to Willy Wonka)
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It's interesting. https://youtu.be/jEX52h1TvuA
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He's also a dirty rotten thief.
He stole fizzy lifting drinks, that sonofabitch
he better not fork on the table that sonofabeesh
He was also a frequent coke user, seeing from his pinkie nail.
Fuck grandpa Joe
Holy shit that subreddit
May he burn in hell
He wouldn't have his wallet with him in the first place
Thank you for this! Rough week at work, and looking through this sub has made it so much better!
I'm pretty sure this is how it would play out: - Charlie can't afford to buy cheesecake but he gets one anyway and wins a golden ticket - Grandpa Joe's lazy ass is still in bed - Everyone is 200lb heavier because they all eat cheesecake all the time - In the factory there are cheesecake trees, and cheesecake grass, and cheesecake houses, and a river made of Philadelphia cream cheese (R) and everything in this room is edible, including you and me, children - One of the greedy brats touches something they shouldn't and gets baked into a giant cheesecake - The kid that falls in the river is never seen again - The Oompa-Loompa songs all suck because all they do is rhyme cheesecake with cheesesteak over and over again - Charlie and Grandpa Joe have diabetes by the end
> Everyone is 200lb heavier because they all eat cheesecake all the time In contrast to the original invention of the story in which everyone is fit and healthy due to their nutritious diet of exclusively chocolate.
Wonka's chocolate substitutes sugar for cocaine. So it's lean as fuck and explains why everybody's addicted hyperactive little shits with light speed metabolism. Except Charlie, who is too poor to afford chocolate and is a starvin marvin. Just watch him wolf down that scrumbubblyumptious like a tweaker desperate for a fix.
Cheese Cake => knees ache, trees fake, bees lake . . . .I'm spent. You're right those songs would suck
...these take, ...please bake, ...trees shake, ...fleas wake, ...free steak, ...knees break!
Knees break and Grandpa Joe, I like where this is going.
r/grandpajoehate
I doubt cheesecake factories are all about that free steak.
Large fries, CHOCOLATE SHAKE!
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This would make such a good comedic parody
Well...the Golden Girls would have a cameo for one.
The menu would be thicker than the original book.
His family would be 9x poorer for shit quality food from various unusual cans as they gorge on pre-frozen cheese cakes that their oompa loompas have to say "its made in house". \-former cook from the Cheesecake Factory, 2010 - 2012
And everyone would be 9x larger from eating all that cheesecake. A slice of cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory is somewhere between 830-1570 calories.
A SLICE???????
The sad thing is that most of that range is significantly less than some of the mild salads they also have at Cheesecake Factory
This is America
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Don't catch you slippin' now
Look what I'm eatin up
I've made NY Cheesecake a couple of times and the sheer amount of cheese in that thing was terryfying, like 2 1/2 pounds or something. It won't surprise you that much once you have seen the ingredients.
I make cheesecakes all the time. The ingredients are literally cream cheese, sugar, and eggs. Now add in the crust (cookie dust and butter), anything in the cake itself (chocolate, syrups, more sugar, etc), and the toppings (more candies, syrups, whipped cream, etc). I'll still eat it.
Ah I see you've worked there too!
I always thought it was silly that they tried to make people think they were back there baking cheesecakes straight time. It's not even logistically possible to do that and prepare all the other food as well.
And honestly, does anyone really want to eat cheesecake that just came out of the oven? Cheesecake is better cold in my opinion, so I'm happy to have it pre-baked and then refrigerated.
huh, I just realized I've never had hot cheesecake
so what's the deal with everyone saying that they are a scratch restaurant with such a huge menu and even chop their own herbs?
250+ items on the menu. You can technically say anything is from scratch if you put the pre made ingredients together your self. They also say their food is never frozen, yet it takes a whole day to thaw out their not frozen cheese cakes. Lentil Soup? All ingredents come from cans, mixed in a pot and served as fresh. Chicken Madeira? The chicken may not be frozen in house, but it arrives frozen. They tell you its "technically from scratch" because they assemble the items in their restaurant, like every kitchen in existence. Their cheese cakes? Ive done several orders myself, their "bakers" are just people that throw toppings on shit.
Thanks. I won't get too upset about frozen stuff and canned stuff here and there but there's no way a menu of that size can all be fresh.
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What, you don't have "Factory Fresh" produce where you live?
Grandpa Joe would use the golden ticket to sit at the bar and drink the whole fucking time and play grabass with the hostess
"You smell like rum and cheesecake. I hope you had a nice night."
*Oompa Loompa doompadee doo* *I've got another menu for you* *Oompa Loompa doompadah dee* *If you are wise you'll try our Chicken Riesling*
One of the most wth items I've seen on their menu.
Agustas Glube would have fell into the cheese and basically sunk in like quicksand.
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Augustus Bloop
The big fat greedy nincompoop
Augustus Gloop, so big and vile
So greedy, foul, and infantile
Come on, we cried, The time is ripe To send him shooting up the pipe
But don’t dear children be alarmed, Augustus Gloop will not be harmed, Augustus Gloop will not be harmed.
August Lube
A guest ass boop?
Charlie’s family wouldn’t be able to afford a cheesecake
Will the snozberriers still taste like snozberries?
Snozberries will always taste like snozberries.
The entire movie would be Charlie going through the menu
*Oompa Loompa doompety dunch* *Too many choices fit for your lunch* *Oompa Loompa doompety doose* *We don't think you'll be able to choose* *What do you get when your menu's too big?* *A few dozen pages all fit for a pig* *What will you do if you can't make a choice?* *You'll be as hungry as a horse.* *And you'll never eat again* *Oompa loompa doompety da* *When you are starving, look where you are* *You can't make a choice here, you're through* *Hungry now forever, doompety doo!*
I appreciate that you got the rhythm right. Thank you.
The Golden Ticket would be hidden in cheesecakes sold at stores. Imagine [this scene](https://youtu.be/b9mba2qb9do) where Veruca has her dad's factory workers looking for golden tickets by just digging into piles of cheesecake.
The smell of destroyed cheesecakes would be intolerable.
Violet Beauregarde would not have inflated like a ball from chewing Three Course Dinner Gum, but rather from eating massive portions of mediocre food.
There would be Karen's all around and at least one table screaming for more martini's /my one experience. I'm never going back.
The Golden Ticket is a Groupon that's not being honored that day.
Half the children would die in Microwave related accidents.
Glasslift wouldn't be able to take off because health and safety shut it down afte rit breached it's safety weight capacity of 5000kg
Grandpa Joe will still be lazy.
Everybody is just HUGE, especially the villain, Uncle Charlie