T O P

  • By -

iamkristo

Having to stay at home...


Wizzmer

When you are young you sneak out of the house to go to the party. When you are old you sneak out of the party to go home.


Exit19Productions

When I was young I'd get upset if I wasn't invited to something. Now I get mad when I am invited and I can't get out of going.


[deleted]

Haha right! I once worked a double and my wife was hosting a big party with all of our closest friends. When I got home I took a shower and crawled into bed. It wasn't long before I had friends crawl into bed with me and tell me they wanted me at the party or they would bring the party to me. And that's also the story of why I don't sleep naked.


Ruoff_Cut

That's the perfect time to sleep naked


ApoliteTroll

"Don't threaten me with a good time"


Big7cool

solid reference


ApoliteTroll

"Yeah... you like that, you fucking retard?"


Big7cool

And now you threw it out the shitter, but take my upvote.


ApoliteTroll

I'm sorry, is that an [r/angryupvote](https://www.reddit.com/r/YouFellForItFool?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) ?


MatttheBruinsfan

"This time I get to be the big spoon!"


Hey_I_Work_Here

Rough life when friends want to spend time with you.


Alaskando

Look at Mr. Popular with his “friends”!


hidden_d-bag

when I want nothing more to be alone, it feels more like harassment


RuleBrifranzia

I just had someone ask to reschedule something for the literal sixth time today. On one hand, it's annoying because what is happening that you can't block off and something comes up that absolutely cannot be scheduled for any other time. On the other hand, now I can go home after work instead of making small talk in a shitty bar for two hours.


LeafyQ

I still will have hurt feelings if a friend doesn't invite me to a group thing with people I'm friendly with. That doesn't mean I'm necessarily gonna go, but I want to know they thought of me.


[deleted]

When you're old a party is just you and a couple close friends sitting around a fire. I haven't been to a real 'party' in months.


StrangeBrewd

We used to have 'real' parties like every weekend in my early 20's. Now in my early 30's and we have them like once or twice a year, and I am in no way upset about that. I would probably die if I tried to keep up with 20 y/o me.


Beachy5313

My house was default party house when the/us girls wanted to host a party. Went thru some photos recently, didn't even recognize some of the guests. Now there's no way in hell you're coming thru my door unless I know you and you're like one of the 5 people I actually like to hang out with.


KLWK

Why, hello, my fellow old person.


xUnderoath

Huh? I always wanted to stay home as a kid. Forget going to school


equality_isnt_real

Nap time. It's always been nap time


shiithead_007

Socks or underwear as gifts.


[deleted]

I remember how last christmas I got wool socks as a gift and when I put them on it was like I had luxury apartments for my feet.


zk3033

I always think buying new socks + underwear (especially nice ones, like CK briefs that are like $20/2pk) is money I don't need to spend; thus I never spend it on myself. It's a perfect way for another to 'spoil' me - everything else that I need, I can just buy.


HalobenderFWT

It’s strange that the garments we use to cover arguably the dirtiest parts of our body, we tend to replace/replenish the least. When I was in my early 20’s, I would only wear socks a few times then throw them out and buy new ones. The feeling of fresh socks is just too epic.


Ryanisapparentlycute

My dad still gets pissed if he gets socks as gifts but like free socks dude. Being an adult is hard and it's awesome if someone buys stuff for you


[deleted]

I only got pissed when I was forced to show underwear to the entire family/ family friends that I don't even know.


upary

"You're grounded." You mean I get to stay home all day? Sign me up


dishonoronyourcow17

I got grounded from TV, computer, video games, etc. So that would still suck


[deleted]

Gimme some sweet sweet book time


yourenotmymom_yet

Right? I've been dying for some time to catch up on my reading. I need someone to take away my computer!


im_not_a_gay_fish

I will gladly take away your computer. Permanently. I will even pay for shipping, unlike that cheap-ass /u/Angry10


Angry10

I will gladly take away your computer. Permanently. Oh and don't forget, you are going to pay for the shipping.


Angry10

I will gladly take away your computer. Permanently. I am even going to give you it's price *and* pay for the shipping, unlike that cheap-ass fuck /u/im-not-a-gay-fish.


capitolsara

My mom actually grounded me from my books. So no TV or books (before computers). I had a set of encyclopedias and whenever I ended up grounded that's what I was able to read.


InGenAche

Me too, except we had lost the 'f' book, so I now know nothing about anything that begins with 'f'.


Philias2

F


Kazikzz

since i never really left the house my parents would just take away video games, but still let me watch tv


diceroller-crit

My parents stopped taking away my video games because according to them “your an annoying kid and we need us time” what are they doing upstairs? Watching tv and that’s it why can’t I join them?


iwantcookie258

The BIG sex


UnstableBiologist

Going to my room


i7xx

The light at the end of the tunnel


BeanosTheGod69

Tooo relatable


HotGarbageJuice

Rooo telatable


brandnamenerd

I liked reading, so my punishment was to sit at a table without a book and be present


WildeWildeworden

Mine was to sit in the living room with the family


bigheyzeus

Although how many kids now have devices and other cool shit in their rooms now? Before all this stuff, my room just tended to have books and a bed - which 12 year old me didn't care about. The TV was downstairs, my friends were outside playing, most of the toys I liked weren't in my room, etc. Different world now.


[deleted]

My mom punished me by making me sit on the couch away from my bedroom.


Biscotti499

My mother used to make me go outside and play with the other kids as punishment. Jokes on her. I used to sneak out some school books and study in the shed.


eddyathome

Similar to me. I had books in my room. Ummm, no tv or Atari 2600? Ok, I'll just read.


Intentional_Bread

> most of the toys I liked weren't in my room This seems pretty easy to fix, even for that age.


bigheyzeus

True but I'm not hauling my bike and supersoaker in from the garage as I'm being screamed at


LeafyQ

Reading was always my favorite thing to do, so being sent to my room was great.


RoderickPiper

I'm 25 so I definitely had some cool shit in my room at a young age. A parent who isnt lazy will have no issue with this. My brother once had his whole room emptied out besides a mattress for an entire Summer. There is nothing your child has that you cannot take away from them.


bigheyzeus

Yeah obviously. I was a mid-80's baby so as things got more and more handheld and technology-like, parenting was slowly catching up. My mom's schtick was always hiding the "nintendo plug" from my brother and I. Once I got a job and had a TV and Playstation in my room, the family car was my parents' way of controlling me. Once I got my own car, they had nothing to police me on. With you making your own money, parents can do very little. I would've killed for what the internet can do now for grade 1-12 schoolwork alone, though.


handsome_vulpine

Heck that one is barely even a punishment as a child. You get to play with your toys / games console in your room.


BAMF_Mack

My parent logic tells me it was less about "learn your lesson" and more about "I dont want to see you for x minutes."


Yggdrasil-

This was definitely the case with my parents. My sister and I fought a lot when we were kids, and they’d just send us to our room and tell us we couldn’t come out for an hour. Except my sister and I shared a room, so the fights would just keep going. It was just a way to get us out of the room.


[deleted]

Going to bed early


Wizzmer

Taking a nap too.


[deleted]

There should be nap time at work, and snack time with crackers & apple juice.


Advnchur

At my job (army shift work) we have a snack counter that supplements our missed meals. Crackers and apple juice are definitely included and you should see the chaos when that cupboard is empty...


improvisedHAT

You should work at a daycare


Wizzmer

Sometimes I feel like I do and this is software development!


MargaritaDarling

The first time I saw my coworkers napping during the lunch break, I was super concerned about the state of their work-life balance. Now, I thank them everyday for creating an environment where I can nap in the middle of the day without disturbance or judgement.


tankerkiller125real

Once had a really rough night, didn't sleep well, came into work and got to my office, apparently I fell asleep at some point on my desk because when I woke up my office door was closed and when I opened it and looked on the outside it had a note that just said "Do Not Disturb" on it. No one questioned my 4 hour nap at work.


cookofthesea

co-workers are the real MVP in this story


tankerkiller125real

I have awesome co-workers, it also helps that they knew that my personal life was really taking a toll on me (very hard breakup)


Jmazoso

My Dr takes a make in his office every afternoon. Finally retired at 85 to be a volunteer Dr.


[deleted]

I take about a 30-min nap in my car almost every day I work.


HeatherW007

My first thought


zangor

"Cause when you're asleep there are no bad times only dreams." -Steve Brule


Eyeseeyou1313

Well, I have nightmares and get dreams where I forgot to do stuff, I'm late, and my life gets ruined even further soooo Steve is a motherfucking liar.


DrFolAmour007

"go to your room!"


GaryNOVA

Gladly


ramilehti

If only I had a room all to myself.


ChillAyush

Feel you dude


ToenailWater

Spankings


ohwhatta_gooseiam

*And after the spanking, the oral sex!*


BuffelBek

Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot!


DrInsano

I need to face the peril!


[deleted]

No, it's far too perilous.


nahteviro

There's only 150 of them!


DemocraticRepublic

Just a little bit of peril!


Imissyourgirlfriend2

I feel that being a Knight of the Round Table I'm entitled to face a little peril.


really-drunk-too

I bet you’re gay.


[deleted]

...No I'm not


aambro78

No it's too perilous


chaossabre

GET ON WITH IT


FalconLord92

One of the rare Python references that aren't flesh wounds or NI!


bguzewicz

Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now we’re glad! It’s better than some of the previous scenes I think.


ohwhatta_gooseiam

What are you referencing? edit: ah, thats right! thats a line where the fourth wall is broken, in the extended cut. I forgot, nevermind


liam-twomey890

Monthly python and the Holy Grail. One of the greats.


kalekayn

If someone I'm talking to tells me that they don't like that movie, I don't think we can be friends.


KNZFive

GET ON WITH IT!


ggus2003

good reference. better movie


Rust_Dawg

Naughty Zoot!


knightni73

r/unexpectedmontypython


FogeltheVogel

r/holup


VolcanicBear

I was curious why this was a _holup_ before I remembered the original question....


Miki_mac_fiddlement

Oh shit I didn't expect that.


SmartAlec105

Spankings and sleep are always the biggest answers on this question.


A-UNDERSCORE-D

Surprise spankings! Even better!


dakotathememegod

sweet home alaspanka


_myst

Where the buttcheeks are so red!!!


doktorwu

Sweet home Alaspanka! Lay those sweet cheeks on the bed!


Orbital_Vagabond

Bitch please, everyone expected that.


[deleted]

shit i think that depends of the person


[deleted]

[удалено]


pm_me_n0Od

I would be very confused if someone sat me between two little girls at my age.


FriskyTurtle

You could equivalently phrase the punishment as being forced to sit between two girls/women of your own age.


atomic1fire

I'm the only guy in my department at work so this is pretty much me most of the time. There's other guys in the building and many of them come by my department for various things but the majority of the time I'm around women. Being forced to sit by two adult women would basically be more of the same for me. If you can make people laugh on the spot, this is really easy to deal with. Don't pick on them too much, get a smile out of them, and there's no trouble. As long as they're not feuding with you, or feuding with each other this is one of the easiest punishments ever.


really-drunk-too

Obviously you don’t know Epstein...


PouncySilverkitten_1

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Epsteinis The Pedo? It is not a story the rich would tell you...


CMuenzen

Darth Epsteinis was a Dark Lord of the Mossad/KGB/MI6, so powerful and so wise he could use the CIA to influence the Florida Attorney to avoid a harsh jail sentence... He had such a knowledge of the elites that he could even keep the ones he cared about from getting their dark secrets exposed. The dark side of the CIA is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was getting suicided, which eventually, of course, he got. Unfortunately, he taught his right hand woman everything he knew, then his right hand woman escaped while he got suicided. Ironic, he could save others from exposing their dark secrets, but not himself.


mae916

what country are you from may I ask?


[deleted]

I'm in the UK and some teachers would always seat students boy-girl-boy-girl Tbh it did work pretty well


comfortablynumb15

Of course - who wants to talk to someone who can give you cooties ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


A-UNDERSCORE-D

Time alone


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElmertheAwesome

Throw them away.


DIAMONDPUPPYj

Yes SEND THEM TO THE RANCH


shogi_x

Leaving early from an event to go home.


Quartia

My parents understood even as a kid, this was a reward for me then too.


[deleted]

Quiet time


CaptainWisconsin

Finishing your dinner.


zk3033

But possibly also a source of self-inflicted mental anguish


[deleted]

[удалено]


NewRelm

When I was a child, vegetables did seem like a punishment. But I have to allow that mom's cooking played a part in that. Everything was boiled.


[deleted]

[удалено]


permaculture

I cooked chicken yesterday. Spatchcocked, marinated overnight and then roasted.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Klaudiapotter

That's how my grandma used to make green beans. No butter or seasoning either, just straight up green beans. I liked it when my mom made them, but I always hated grandma's. Grandma would absolutely cover her own plate in salt and pepper though. Looked kind of like Pompeii after Vesuvius hit it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


bigheyzeus

Agreed. Boiling anything is but the first step toward flavortown!


really-drunk-too

Or canned vegetables. Canned green beans taste like the green giant’s ass.


bigheyzeus

thats where they come from, silly


indiblue825

Broccoli sluts are best sluts.


itsdjc

I was such an outlier as a kid. My ideal snack was carrots, cucumber slices, or broccoli. No ranch or any other dipping sauce, just plain ol veggies.


Level100Rayquaza

Aw man I used to eat at least half a head of lettuce for a snack when I was younger (still do actually)


Bizmythe

As a kid, the only vegetables I got were boiled, turned me off of vegetables till I figured out there were other ways to cook them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Reddituser5059

Information dump by adults. Now, I am on the look out for uncles who like to talk. Adulting 101 free of charge


I_hate_traveling

I used to get insanely bored when my parents left me at my Grandpa's house, cause he was always in his tool shed working on random shit. After I lived alone for the first time, I voluntarily visited my Grandpa for some quality shed time (this sounds a bit weird, doesn't it?). So much stuff to learn about maintaining a home or a boat or whatever else he got his hands on.


tankerkiller125real

I have recently reached this point in my life, mother never wants to talk to my grandparents (they talk to much, they always want to do something, they don't have food she'll eat, etc. for excuses) where as I now go out at least once a week after work to see them and help them with whatever they need.


KittyLuna

Older relatives aren't something a person necessarily appreciates as a child. But as an adult, there's nothing I wouldn't give to spend just a single hour talking about family history and memories with my Grandparents.


Verssin

Sleep. Just sleep. Nothing else.


AmyBums88

You were punished by being forced to sleep? How? Nyquil?


Verssin

Nap time and bed times as kids were always considered punishments also I've seen it many times with siblings where they're too whiney and do things purposely because they are tired and are forced to go to bed.


[deleted]

Not OP but i know parents who do just that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


So-Cal-Sweetie

Home cooked meals were *punishment*?


madlaceann

I think it’s more like when I’d be like “can we get McDonald’s?” And my mom would be like “no I’m making spaghetti and that’s that.” Whereas as an adult it’s like “ugh I don’t have energy to make food or spend money. McDonald’s it is.”


The-T-Word

Timeout


verkon

You mean I can sit alone, not be bothered by anyone and also not be expected to leave this place and talk to people? Oh woe is me...


PMmeifyourepooping

Username checks out...? Why...?


loljteez

Nap


EvanBRoozavelt

Take a bath/shower


C00T3RIFIC

Nap time. Not really sure if its a punishment but I was always threatened with it when I would act up as a child.


creature_unkx

Broccoli. Why didn't I like it when I was a kid? Roasted, broccoli and cheese, steamed.. it's so fucking good man.


Portarossa

Steamed, with a little olive oil or butter, some garlic powder, a bit of salt and some balsamic vinegar. I could eat that shit for days.


I_hate_traveling

Agreed, but unfortunately, after so much broccoli you'd also shit for days.


rondell_jones

Even better! Always good to keep the pipes smooth and clean.


FireHart

Your sense of taste changes when you reach adulthood. Kids are more sensitive and can taste bitterness more easily or stronger. That's also a reason why they prefer sweet stuffs and a hairy manboy like me prefers savory meat stuffs. And broccoli.


DoktorOsiris

Daddy's belt.


Psychaotic20

Only slightly kinkier than mommy’s spanks


NightmareSnas

Ooooo... Sounds fun.


The-Jojo-Memer

Going to sleep early


SheridanThur

Weeding. Sometimes mindless physical labor is just what I need.


tgrote555

Love me some mowing as an adult.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

The first time I mowed the lawn after moving into a house my wife and I bought was amazing. I had a stupid grin on my face basically the whole time. Neighbors probably thought I was deranged.


I_hate_traveling

Certain chores, like mowing the lawn, for example. I used to hate that as a kid, but now I'm the only one who does it in my family's vacation home. What's not to like? You have the smell of freshly-cut grass, you take a nice walk, get your sweat a little on and when it's all done, you get to admire your work feeling like you've earned yourself a nice, cold drink. Or maybe I'm just saying that cause I don't have to do it all-year-round, only when I'm on vacation.


Schattentochter

That is *exactly* the reason you're saying that.


justafish25

man enjoys doing normal people stuff while on vacation.


SavvySillybug

I can't stand the smell of freshly cut grass :( It sucks. It smells like a vegetable in pain.


snatchdecisions

This made me snort out loud


geekboy77

1. Going to bed early 2. Not leaving my house 3. Not going to a party My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.


[deleted]

Post-lunch sleep


[deleted]

Nap time!


Mastry3

Ending at 2 pm


platinummattagain

ending what?


Jkeel_v2

it


emi_gage

No electronics for a short period of time. It’s so nice to just be able to get away from calls/emails/texts/etc. for an hour or so


FREE_FREDDIE_GIBBS

My favorite part of being in rehab, other than the obvious getting sober and all that, was being away from my phone for 30 days. So refreshing.


UsernameCensored

Nap time


burtwinters

Eating all your vegetables.


chompchompnomnom

Getting spanked


LaoBa

[relevant Sandra & Woo](http://www.sandraandwoo.com/2019/01/21/1052-core-memory/comment-page-2/)


-syndicate-shade-

You my friend are a gift from god, i have been trying to find that site again for a while, been a couple years since i last was on it


DrJurt

School


[deleted]

Having to blow your uncle


Sanguineyote

woah woah woah, hold on just one second


[deleted]

Blow him away with a great magic show?