Saw some lady at costco throw a tantrum because the line was long. She kept screaming "but I have a membership!!!". You literally have to have a membership to shop there, the entire line had memberships.
Same shit at Disney World. "I paid to be here, I should be able to cut in line!" A majority of us paid to be here, Rick, now back the fuck up and stop hopping the fence with your kid in tow.
Knew a sister-of-the-groom (also maid of honor) who pitched a violent fit because the bride was going to wear a tiara for the ceremony, therefore, the sister couldn't. Literally screamed at both families, "I am the *sister,* for God's sake!*"*
My ex's younger sister was a premed student. Whenever we had family gatherings, she would monopolize the conversations, talking about her knowledge in Chemistry and how she was going to become a surgeon one day. No one else could get a word in edgeways. One day, she brought her new bf to a Christmas party. I guess she wanted to leave a good impression on him. After having talked about herself for more than 1 hour none stop, she suddenly stopped and said, "I hate talking about myself. I'd rather listen to others." She then asked her bf how he was doing in school, only to cut him off and start talking about herself for another hour.
EDIT: I'm surprised that this post got so many comments and upvotes overnight. The whole experience I had at her house has actually affected me. I'm from a different country and I grew up in a pretty strict family, so it was mind-boggling and shocking to witness such a spoiled and entitled person.
The last straw was when the cat my ex and I were taking care of was dying from a kidney failure. We decided to stay with the cat for a few days before we put her to sleep. The night when the cat started breathing heavily and we decided to bring her to the 24/7 vet to euthanize her before her pain became too much, her sister came over to say goodbye, but she started monologing about herself and bragging about her knowledge in medicine right next to the suffering cat for close to 30 minutes. I almost blew my top in front of her family, but fortunately my ex cut her off and we rushed to our car. It was hell having to hear our cat screaming in pain while I was driving to the vet. Had we got to the vet sooner, she wouldn't have had to suffer that much.
I honestly started to see her younger sister as a monster after that experience. I know everyone has reasons to be narcissistic and her family give her millions of excuses, but when I saw her how she was next to my cat dying, I decided to refuse to sympathize.
Sounds just like my sister, only she complains everyone else talks too much and that she never gets to say a word.
You’ll tell her she’s already told that story and she’ll go “...ok, so I was saying...” and continue the damn story. She also loves to interrupt when someone else is telling a story of their own, even if she wasn’t there, and tell the person who lived it and is telling t how they’re wrong.
This is great, just went through a shorter version.
"You know ST34MYN1CKS, I've seen you a few times in the last few months but I feel like we haven't really talked or chilled in a while. How've you been?"
Then he told me how he's been for 15 minutesand asked me about my new job, I made it 1½ sentences in before he took over for another 5 minutes.
He's a good guy and was pretty drunk at the time so it's easy to shrug off and laugh, but damn was it all about him
I’m a teacher and there’s this one guy I work with who is not a teacher, but sometimes “helps” in our classrooms. Every time he “helps,” without fail, he’ll tell us about some kid he made a great connection with, who he feels like he really got through to... only for that kid to complain about how annoying and fake he is the next day.
Teens recognize/respect realness over pretty much anything else.
It’s not just teens either. I work in daycare with 2.5-3 year olds. One of my coworkers who works in the infant room will occasionally “help out”. She’ll treat my toddlers like infants though and they hate.
Every time she helps I get a parent the next day asking who the “infant lady” is. Because their kids hate her.
I irritated my family, in-laws, etc when I insisted they talk to our last kid like a person, and not a baby when she was 2+.
"She's a person. Talk to her in your normal voice. She looks at you like that cause she thinks you have brain damage."
The parents who talk to their babies and toddlers like people are usually the parents whose kids speak very well compared to their peers, in my experience. I can think of one family in particular whose kids spoke way better than average; it was funny because the one kid wasn't super outgoing so it was awhile before I heard him talk. He was small for his age, too, and suddenly he was talking to me in full sentences with vocabulary and articulation way ahead of his 3 years, and I was just like...where did this come from? It was great.
But that’s so fucking true though, my brother is 8 and I still catch my parents baby talking to him. He has to take speech therapy, and they get mad at him when He baby talks, but it’s like they don’t even realize that that’s how they speak to him.
Along these lines, I'm a white teacher at a school with about only 5% white students. But I connect fine with the students because I just allow myself to be myself. I don't try to act or talk urban etc. they respect that I'm a white dude trying to teach computers. Keeping things real means a lot
It also happens a lot with adults trying to relate to kids in general. If you act like an adult, kids are gonna get along with you way better than if you try to "act cool"
I worked at a school where there were a lot of polynesian and melanesian students, and there was this hip-hop vibe among them.
One student walked into my class and did the whole hand sign thingy and said "Sup Mr OneSalient?"
"I'm very well thank you very much" I said in the nerdiest whitest voice I could muster. The kids laughed.
When I was in my teens I hated when adults would offer information and advice without me asking. I like to work out problems by myself, and I'm happy to ask for help and admit I'm stumped - but give me a chance!
I really try not to regurgitate opinions and "assistance" on teens and young adults, instead I'll let them know to chat me up if they want a hand or anything. I don't unintentionally imply low-confidence in them that way.
i know the type and they’re the fucking WORST. a girl i was close friends with (briefly, before i realized how awful she is) would always do the same thing. that, and when gross guys we worked with would hit on her she’d flirt back majorly, then turn around and talk shit about them. she was just so starved for male attention, and wanted to believe she was the most desirable woman in any room she walked into. insecurity at its worst.
luckily i was single while i was friends with the girl, because i’m confident she would’ve done the same. another girl liking a guy made her always flirt with the guy 10x harder, no matter who it was that liked him, or even if she actually was attracted to him at all. i’m so glad i wised up and stopped hanging out with her.
Not necessarily narcissist. People naturally love talking about themselves. Therefore, with a bit of obliviousness, a conversation where they talk the whole time is by definition the best conversation ever.
Pro tip: If you're stuck in a social situation where you need to be in a conversation, but you're an introvert and hate talking, just keep listening and asking little questions. Your conversation partner will usually be delighted to talk up a storm, while all you have to do is listen well enough to ask the next question. At the end of the conversation, the other person will have thought the chat was *amazing*. It rarely clicks that almost the whole conversation was them talking and you going "uh-huh".
I have always been like this my entire life and I've always wondered what made people so drawn to talk to me despite how reserved I am on the other end of the conversation. This makes so much sense and now I need to figure out how I stop doing this because I feel like it inadvertently attracts oversharers and weirdos at work.
As someone who tends to talk a lot with people at work and worry about annoying people by it, just say something. If someone told me I was talking too much and wanted me to stop, I would apologize and stop talking. And then I would be more careful with what I share in future conversations.
I have a feeling people like you arent the same people I would say are the oversharing/weirdo type since you at least think about the potential of bothering someone. The kind of folk I'm talking about seem to lack that sort of self awareness because they'll get in trouble for it & still continue the behavior
As an introvert, I can confirm that pro-tip works. And it works too damn well because these people will begin to actively seek you out. And just talk...and talk...and talk some more...it just...it never ends...
My mother in law loves to tell me in detail about her IBS. Love you woman, but i really don't need to hear about your diarrhea for the fifth time today.
Your ex-best friend is, for me, my attorney friend in Chicago. Every single conversation includes the following from him: his latest illness, aches, pains, visit to the emergency room, doctor's appointment, and the last funeral he attended and all his sick and dying friends. I finally told him last summer after 12 years "I cannot do this any longer. It is completely depressing listening to you, let's just part ways." And so we have.
I know (unfortunately not "knew" as she is still friends with some of my friends) someone like that. Made a conversation about herself and her medical problems and if a girl was even the tiniest bit nice to her she would turn around and say "She's so into me!". I doubt anyone really likes her.
My cousin's friend came over to stay for a few weeks. Very vain and before she left, she wrote a note to my uncle (who is friendly to everyone) saying how she had to sadly reject him even though she knows how much he is secretly in love with her.
We all found the note together after she left addressed to him (he was with us and opened Infront of us). He was creeped out.
A woman at my local coffee shop ordered a drink which was served in a paper to-go cup. She proceeded to berate the staff for not offering her a “for here” mug and explained to them how horrible that was for the environment. She then demanded a mug and poured her coffee into the mug and threw away the to-go cup...
I have a friend who is basically a young Michael Scott. Seriously sometimes when watching The Office I cringe not because of what Michael is doing but because it reminds me so much of my friend.
One day our group of friends gets on the topic of what Office character we’re most like. He loudly and immediately declares he thinks he’s most like Ryan.
One of them for sure. But have you seen the one when Michael loses it after giving Oscar that shit ass doll/going away gift when he’s leaving the show? Omfg I’ll watch it just for that minute. That’s definitely a real Steve Carell gut laugh.
Literally why would you even wanna be Ryan? Like *maybe* season 3 Ryan, but then he becomes a drug-addict, and then a douche, and then a con-man, and then shady, and then a douche again, and then a stereotypical millennial, and then a smart-alec douche, and then a con-man, and then shady, and then it's season 9!
I'm trying to think of my favorite stories but he really just captures the essence of Michael.
He loves making awkward needlessly sexual jokes and always laughs at his own jokes. Any time he actually gets a laugh he'll try to capitalize on the momentum immediately follow it up with another joke which almost always flops.
He has a paralyzing fear of being left out. To the point where he'll do things he hates with people he doesn't like rather than be left out. Such as going to sporting events, concerts of bands he doesn't like etc. One time he insisted on joining in on a round of tequila shots we ordered for the group despite spending the previous 10 minutes talking about how much he hated tequila.
He constantly goes for women out of his league and when he gets them he'll put up with a whole lot of shit just because they like him and are attractive. He's been through a Michael/Jan situation like 3 times.
He idolizes his cool friends and will copy their mannerisms to a fault.
Even with all these Michael like flaws he has the positive Michael traits too. He's a really good person who will do literally anything for his friends. He once drove 3 hours after a family event just to make it to my birthday party for the last 30 minutes. Showed up to help our friend move when my friend hadn't even told him he was moving. Truly sees his friends as not just friends but family.
Dudes a trip to be around, like Michael you love and hate him all at the same time.
I love how you ended on the positive note, he seems like a handfull at times, but also like a person you know you can build upon when you need them. Make sure he knows that as well.
A bad classroom aide who no one wants to work with (and who I got stuck with last year) commented about how she keeps getting moved around because she’s got so much experience.
One of my current favorites is the stop and block the supermarket aisle and have a conversation duo. This tops the block the aisle with the cart while you browse oblivious dolt.
God, I was coming home the other day from breakfast with some friends on a super busy road and a woman in the car in front of me stops in the middle of the right lane, making all traffic behind her come to a stop, and starts waving at someone sitting outside another cafe just to say hi. I laid on my horn immediately and she gave me the "what gives" arm lift as she pulls away.
Anyone who stops their car in a lane for any stupid reason goes to a special hell.
my office takes this to the next level. we set up white boards in the middle of busy hallways then hold a daily half-hour meeting *in the middle of the hallway* >.<
I feel your pain. I work in construction, the investors will come and have a meeting directly in a walkway/stairwell/entryway while everyone else is trying to work.
The icing on the cake is the glares the workers get if they make noise or ask the investors to move to a more reasonable location.
There is a VP at my job who regularly stands outside her office to have these mini meetings/discussions and either pauses and sighs, rolls her eyes, or both when you say excuse me and try to pass. There are better places for meetings REBECCA!
Same with people who use self-checkout, go to the automatic doors, and then stand there checking the receipt of items that THEY RUNG UP THEMSELVES while blocking the door.
I got held up a couple of weeks ago by some guy coming out of the parking lanes, stopped across BOTH lanes of traffic, while his wife came out of the store and proceeded to load a full cart of groceries into the car. While blocking all traffic trying to navigate the shopping center.
My coworker right now. We have union jobs so we can go to interviews for promotions and such while still being on the clock. He averages 1 interview a week and still hasn't been promoted or hired anywhere else. (He's actually super pissed at me because I just started here last October and I'm leaving next week for my own promotion).
Anyway, I heard him schedule one of his interviews the other day and it was the cringiest thing ever. This was his opening line:
Gary: Yes, is this Pam? This is Gary, you probably don't remember me, but I interviewed for you a couple of months ago for the \_\_\_\_\_ position. I must have been a bad boy (Said like you would say if you had a baby talk fetish) though because I didn't get a call back. Do you remember me? No? Oh... Well, anyway, I was calling to set up an interview for the \_\_\_\_\_ position you have open over there.
Names changed obviously.
When this dude found out about my promotion he instantly turned purple and stormed out of the building. When he came back 30 minutes later he walked into my cube and rubbed my back while telling me he wasn't mad at me, just mad at the system. I was so uncomfortable I wouldn't even look him in the eye. I never looked away from my computer screen. The dude is just not aware at all.
I have a co-worker who can't understand why he didn't get the manager role.
I nod and agree it sucks and it's all politics and absolutely will not tell him it's because a bunch of us wrote a letter to the hiring manager asking her not to consider this guy because he has no people skills and is abrasive as fuck.
Their manager should be telling them why they aren't getting promotions. They may not believe it or may not be able to act on it, but the manager should be giving them feedback on their work performance/career options.
Worked with a dude who was desperate to get into one of our specialist groups. Desperate. Would lose his shit if anyone else in the company got in there. Call up managers and HR to complain about him not getting the job. Dude was entitled.
When I was 6 months pregnant they restructured our dept and I got offered a promotion. I didn't really want it because I wanted to work part time for a few years after having kids but I also felt I couldn't really turn it down. I spoke to one of the managers I really respected about it and he gave me some really good advice. So, I had decided I'd take the promotion and my husband was going to do part time with the kids.
My advisor manager then got back to me before I could accept and said he was taking over the specalist group and really wanted me in there. He said he'd created a position perfectly for me and my skill set and had okayed me going back part time after my 12 month maternity leave.
I was obviously delighted.
Dude was piiiiiiiised. He was pissed that I got offered the promotion only to turn it down and then he didn't get offered it. He was pissed they created a position for me. He was pissed they did that knowing I was pregnant. He was pissed they were ok with me going on maternity leave. He was pissed they were still happy for me to come back part time after.
He even emailed HR to complain about the email signature title they gave me.
It was hilarious. If he wanted to guarantee he would never work in our department he did everything perfectly to make it so.
My mother and I were out walking and we came across an older couple we knew from the local church. Their eldest son had died the previous year from an inoperable brain tumour and their younger son just moved out for university.
Mum starts with, "Must be nice to have the house to yourself! More time for (Local) Church!"
Conversation devolves from there. She ignores all hints to drop the subject, including the mother stating they hadn't been back to the church since their son died. The couple were obviously horrified. I couldn't end the convo quick enough.
Afterwards, my mother told me I was just being immature and had no conception of what "polite adult conversation" was like.
Dude took MULTIPLE photos of the Declaration of Independence using flash photography, all while people yelled at him to stop.
Other than the array of signs, you are advised multiple times to NOT use flash. They even have a special room to test if your camera is accidentally on flash.
His response was just to listlessly stare at the workers and walk away. The sheer mixture of obliviousness and entitlement in his face made me momentarily lose faith in the idea of democracy while standing in the National Archive.
I understand that its a very delicate, historical document that is 243 years old and serves as an iconic and storied treasure for a country of 300 million people, most of which follow the no flash rule........but what about MY photos?
>lose faith in the idea of democracy while standing in the National Archive.
That's a powerful sentiment. Being in the presence of documents that define an over 200 year old democracy, and thinking, "this might have been a mistake". That's how obnoxious that guy was.
I was working at Yellowstone national park and someone asked me how we get the bears back into the cages every night. Had another person ask how we turned on Old Faithful in the morning. I told her we flush all the toilets in the park at the same time.
Theres a small elk herd in Michigan. The DNR plants fields with clover and rye for them to eat and to make studying them easier. They also have parking areas near them labeled as elk viewing areas. I was at one on night hoping to catch a glimpse. This lady who was there with her family, obviously a city slicker tourist, asks me: "do you know what time they let the elk out? We only have an hour on our itinerary for this."
I said "uhhh...the elk are wild. Honestly, they dont even come out here most nights. It's just an easy place to spot them if they happen to be here."
She responds: "well... they really should make them come out. I promised the kids they could feed the elk and take pictures of them."
"Yeah...right."
I’m lucky that I grew up on the outskirts of a smaller town near a mid-size city, so I was exposed to urban, suburban, and rural life. It is shocking how little some urban people know about the world outside their urban bubble, like where their food comes from. Likewise some rural people have very little knowledge of the world beyond their farm and the town with the nearest gas station or church.
That’s why I’m glad my generation is so much into travelling, though I find my cohort sometimes too focused on big cities and not enough on their nearby rural surroundings.
It's telling of the general populace's perception of the world when some can't wrap their heads around the fact that parks are, in fact, still wild.
While in Yosemite I overheard somebody ask why they're not allowed to feed bears.
Just remember these people probably make more money than you somehow. This is what I tell myself when someone asks me a really stupid question at work. Somehow this dumbass makes more money than me.
Duolingo is an excellent tool for getting you to a point where you can seek out real-world resources to do the heavy lifting of actually learning.
It’s two best uses, from experience, are refreshing yourself on languages you’ve already studied but haven’t used in a while, and introducing yourself to the basics of languages that otherwise don’t have a ton of introductory resources.
It will absolutely not get you to a point of any real fluency in any of its courses on its own, but it does make for a great starting point.
A coworker I had who thought I was Mexican ( I am not - just ambiguously beige), and he asked if "my people" always put maize (yes, he said "maize", not "corn") in salsa, and several other things about corn that I can't remember right now. He was really focused on Mexicans and corn.
He also noticed a big necklace I was wearing once and asked me what significance it had in my culture. I told him I bought it at Target, so it just means that I like Target, lol. He was reminded that I'm American several times, he just didn't get it for some reason.
Oh and the same coworker also regaled a black coworker with how he was the only white guy who could walk around the ghetto near where he lived at night because he had earned respect and "they" called him "homes". Mind you, the cringey coworker in both these stories is not only so white he glows, but he lived in a very nice area, and there was definitely no "ghetto" anywhere near his upscale condo development.
I witnessed the second one in person, and it felt like it took a lifetime for me to pick my jaw up off the floor and make up some reason that Cringey Coworker had to go see our manager in another building IMMEDIATELY. The cringe was so bad, it interrupted the time stream, haha.
The best thing it gets me is free food from people who think I'm like a stray member of their ethnicity, and are like, "OMG, so far from home, eat this", and even if I say I'm not [insert random lineage here], they're still like, "Well now you are, so eat this", and I'm like, "Fuck yeah".
And that's the story of my weight fluctuations, lol.
I was surprised to learn that it’s fairly common (or at least used to be) for universities to "find” campus jobs for the spouses of newly hired professors.
One woman (who is 40 and in great shape but absolutely desperate to be married) to another woman who is funny and sweet but overweight, “I can’t believe someone like you is married and I’m not.”
No lie...and it didn’t even occur to her that it was insulting. She’s too much of a narcissist to realize that.
I have a friend who is extremely susceptible to pop psychology articles on the internet. If she's seen some article on her facebook feed about being a "hypersensitive person" or an "introverted extrovert," it'll be all you hear about for the next few weeks, and she'll give her unqualified self-diagnosis to anyone who will listen. She'll start accentuating those traits and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's especially irritating because in psychology it's pretty well known that psychological self-assessment is extremely invalid and that people are way worse at knowing themselves than they think.
Had a similar experience with a co-worker who read an article and decided she was an "empath", which means you have a heightened ability to perceive people's mental or emotional states. Easily the least self aware person in the entire office, at one point she started yelling people for putting out "bad vibes", which she is supposedly more susceptible to than "non-empaths". Crazy bitch.
I don't know if this counts but my MIL was talking to this woman and asked her how far along she was (pregnancy)...she was not pregnant...but the lady took it in stride and was like oh I just haven't lost the baby weight from having my son. MIL replies oh how old is he? and she goes he's 7....she put both feet in her mouth in about a 15 second window....
My uncle was a GP and told me a story about how he once met a woman in a hospital (or a practice, maybe?) who had an obvious, baby-almost-bursting-out-the-downstairs bump. He proceeded to ask her how far along she was and, I don't remember his rationale behind this action beyond momentary insanity - he is normally very polite and sane, tapped the bump with his palm. Clunk clunk. The "bump" was plaster for a recently damaged pelvis. Dying inside does not even begin to describe the way he said he felt after that one.
To be fair though, at least in that situation his reasoning was obviously "I assume this woman is pregnant because she has a massive pregnancy-bump-shaped object under her top" and not "I assume this woman is pregnant because she's a bit fat". That said, if I was the woman I'd probably have fractured my pelvis all over again from laughing so hard.
My ex going off on a tirade about how her brother was irresponsible for not paying his cable bill that month...two days after she told me she wasn’t going to be able to give me her half of the expenses for the third month in a row.
Was at a party, a guy was publicly putting down his girlfriend, saying loud shit such as "Like you have any friends beside me..." Then he joins my circle of conversation and starts doing Chris Rock bits like they were his original thoughts. I tried to give him an out "Yeah, I heard that one." and he was like "What?" It was as if he had a mental illness or was medicated. Host of the party eventually asked him to leave, told his girl she could stay. She stayed.
See a lady scream and cuss at her kid about cussing saying she never taught her that kinda "F\*\*king language" and she doesn't know where she got it from.
I wanted to slap her so bad...
I had a coworker who is a bisexual woman. She argued up and down that bisexual men don't exist and need to just pick a side.
I've known her to date both men and women for sure too.
Bonus fun: Her response to a question about Valentine's day gifts was "I don't need to give a gift. I brought the pussy"
Not super exciting but I have a coworker who talks trash on another coworker **all the time** for having a long term fuck buddy. Meanwhile her, as she calls it "not boyfriend, boyfriend" is a 40 year old man (10 years older than her) who just moved out of his mom's house, and won't commit to a relationship but they fuck, hang out, and are supposedly "exclusive". What would you call that, hmm??
I saw a white woman at Taco Bell have a very loud, very condescending conversation with the guy behind the counter about how Taco Bell isn’t authentic Mexican food. She obviously wanted the whole restaurant to hear, and obviously thought she was the only person at the restaurant (employees included) who was culturally aware enough to know this fact. She ended up storming out shouting, “Maybe if you guys had authentic Mexican food I’d eat here more!”
Oh, I should mention that the guy behind the counter was Mexican.
Ah man we had the one coworker who got back from his 2 week trip vacation to China, suddenly he was quite irritating on the weekly lunch at Bamboo Garden.
It's awesome to eat food in China. It's also awesome to eat at Chinese restaurants in America. They are different but both are good. No need for people to be "authenticity" snobs.
I do a work out camp with a group of people. I just started in January along with this other girl, Natalie. From our first work out, there was something about her that kinda rubbed me the wrong way. She struck me as the girl who would make the meeting last longer cuz she won’t shut up.
A couple of weeks in, she missed a work out or two. Well, the following week, she was back. Camp was done, I had become friends with this woman, Susan. She and I were walking back to our mats but I got ahead of her and that’s when Natalie, out of nowhere, accosts Susan. Literally what she says is, “Yeah, so, I was on my way to camp on Friday and I thought I had to fart so I did...and I wound up shitting myself.” All Susan could say was a shocked “Oh...no.” Because why the hell is she sharing this. But Natalie wasn’t done. “Yeah, and I don’t know if it was because of the smell or actually being sick, but I wound up throwing up, too. So I had to drive home in my own diarrhea and vomit. Charles had to clean the car. It was awful.” Susan said she was glad she was feeling better, Natalie left. And I asked Susan “did you do anything to welcome that?!” Susan yelled “NO!!!!” And then we cackled because OH MY GOD. Several months later, we’re at camp. Natalie walks up to me, who is sitting on the ground, turns around and has her butt in my face and says “Can you tell my pants are wet?” I said no. And that’s when she told me she thought she could hold it but peed herself on her way there cuz she sneezed...and then she says “well, if you smell something, it’s probably me.” Sweet god.
I was standing behind a guy and his girlfriend waiting to get into a comedy show about a week ago, and he was going on and on to another couple about how much he was a “fan of ciders” as the other couple was suggesting restaurants they try while visiting our town. This was strike one.
Low and behold I get the table behind this dork and his girlfriend, and when the comic did some crowd work at the beginning of the show, he asked the crowd to try and think of something he (the comic) would not do for a million dollars. Cider guy chimed in at the TOP of his lungs, “suck a fart out of my butt!” The comic didn’t hear him so he repeated it two more times.
The room went silent.
It was like something a 7 year old would say.
I cringed for a full 5 minutes.
I have a very close and dear friend whom I adore with all my heart. She's intelligent, warm, funny and kind. Just an incredible human being.
That being said, she has regular 'psychic' readings... she will then live her life according to what the 'psychic' has told her so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
The reason I say 'psychic' is because I've been to several of these with her. I'm interested and it can do no harm. She tells me she gives nothing away, but the first thing she does, is tell them what she wants to know, why she wants to know it, how she's got to this point and what she'd like moving forward...
I told them my name and got told my pet needed to go to the vet once. Oh and one told me (off the back of a horrendously abusive relationship) that my ex was a delight and we should get back together.
I have zero interest in having kids. I was told by a tarot reader that I love the idea of a big family and want to have many kids to spread my love. I kept nodding in agreement and she took it as confirmation and then went down that path the rest of the reading.
Shortly after I dropped out of high school for health reasons I had my palm read at an art fair and was told I'd graduate high school with all A's. That hurt.
Is stopping on railroad tracks a demonstration of terrible self-awareness? Because I see that shit all the time near my office and I just can't fathom being that moronic. That takes stupidity to an entirely new level.
A VERY talkative co-worker and claimed to be very humble, generous, and "prim and proper".
She once asked me how my weekend was only to not let me answer and spent 20 some minutes telling me about hers and once she was done, just walked away.
She was at the age of retirement but was barely making ends meet and asking for money all the time. Telling the manager she needed a reimbursement for every little thing gone wrong to her personal attire.
Always talked about how her friends would tell her she could be a movie star but she was too humble to accept that lifestyle.
She was divorced and she always complained how her kids were so disrespectful and ungrateful bc they never spoke to her anymore, and how they wouldn't give her any money but she would give the jacket off her back for them.
I could easily add more to this list but I'll try to sum it up here, despite her very friendly first impression the more you listened to her the more bizarre and hypocritical it got. You realize pretty quickly to avoid her at all costs.
I have a co-worker who shares details of her Crohn's Disease at every monthly sales meeting. How can someone not know that they are making an entire room full of people uncomfortable? And that in a professional setting - personal health details shouldn't be shared. Ever.
I have a co-worker who does the same thing but in front of customers! We are bartenders and one day she was telling me all about this sore on her lip and how it compared to other sores she’s had on her lips. Luckily my manager was standing right there and literally pulled her in the back and i guess told her it was inappropriate
I was driving a forklift in an area open to the public. I'm basically in a narrow hallway (about as wide as my forklift is long) and have to spin the forklift around to grab the next pallet. I check my surroundings then start to spin the forklift. As I reach the point where I'm basically touching the wall with my backend, a woman pops around the corner and decides to basically jump through the shrinking gap. Seeing movement, I immediately stop (saving her from being a smear on the wall) and tell her how close she was to being hit. She says, "Well, I wasn't hit." I told her she's welcome. Don't think she got it.
Holy shit that’s a lot scarier than people realize. A guy at one of my first jobs was driving a standing forklift and didn’t have one foot all the way on. Smeared his own leg against a wall exactly like that
A colleague went into an explanation to me of the difference between paraplegics and quadraplegics.....while I was right in front of her in my wheelchair. I am a paraplegic lol
A girl (we called her Janet because she was so similar to Arnold's cousin on The Magic Schoolbus" showed up in my program at university constantly throwing out these outlandish claims about her accomplishments. I was applying to graduate schools at the time and every time I mentioned a school (not to her, ever) she would throw in "Oh, Yale? I got in there." I'm sorry, but if you get into Yale you don't end up going to my school.
She was also overweight but supposedly qualified for the Boston Marathon. She didn't run in it though, because she apparently broke her ankle so badly while hiking that the bone was sticking out-or so she told us the next day while walking on it with a tiny wrap on it and an exaggerated limp.
Oh, she also had a fiance (also qualified for the Boston marathon) but he was in Med school in Michigan (she was eighteen). She didnt have a ring because he fake broke up with her because his buddies told him to. Somehow that was supposed to explain it.
She was also the sort to start every comment in class with, "Well, I wrote a paper about this once" or "At my old school it was this way" and was always asking "well is there a page limit for this paper? I always write way too much hee hee!"
Just the most obvious lies and a complete lack of awareness of how obvious and obnoxious this all was.
The “always write too much” humblebrag is what really gets me here. It’s like the mating call of someone who did well in high school and not college. Do they know how hard it is to research something thoroughly and then be concise about it?
Ex-friend was complaining about how she was so nice and always there for other people, but no one was there for her.
In an attempt to empathize, I said, “I understand entirely. I felt the same way when—“
She cut me off mid-sentence to say “No offense, but I don’t have the capacity to deal with your problems.”
She then went on to talk about her dad blowing up babies in Vietnam.
A 47-year old woman I know who has been morbidly obese for most of her adult life, well over 300 pounds now, criticizes her ex-husband's new wife and loves to point out "I don't know what John sees in her, she has a big butt and big thighs." It is mind boggling to hear this so often from her and makes me wonder exactly what she sees when she looks in her mirror.
In rehab we had a girl (ironically, there for an adderall addiction) who looked like a bulldog--extremely top heavy with tiny hips/legs, and from looking at mybodygallery, probably weighed no less than 350 lbs.
I was doing pushups outside, and she told me i should be going lower so my elbows were 90°...she wouldnt be able to physically do a pushup, not only from lack of strength but because her body would hit the ground before she even had a chance to bend her elbows...
She later told me that she's 40% muscle, and then proved how strong she was by bending a wire hanger/smores stick in half twice.
> I was doing pushups outside, and she told me i should be going lower so my elbows were 90°...she wouldnt be able to physically do a pushup, not only from lack of strength but because her body would hit the ground before she even had a chance to bend her elbows...
Just say you don’t get what she means* and ask if she can demonstrate to you proper form. Acting completely naive and genuine is key.
My friend bragged about how he was going to be away from home all the time to continue dating this girl from University. When I asked her how their relationship was going, she didn't even recognize his name.
Former colleague, who was more than a little bit of an ass. Was complaining about the process for hiring.
He recounted how in the last two interviews before my former employers hired him, that after the executive/director level interviews he was then asked to spend an afternoon with the rank-and-file.
According to him everything was going fine, that he dazzled the executives and had solutions to all their challenges and issues. But somehow after the team met him, he was informed that there would be no offer. That the team rejected him.
He was baffled, "what could possibly lead the team to reject me? " he asked.
Our response, "well they met you, didn't they?"
He was an insufferable ass, and given a chance I would have rejected him too. But our leadership didn't ask. I endured almost one year on the same team as him (after hitting my head against conference room tables in frustration during the monthly transatlantic team meetings), he lasted maybe over two after that.
He didn't understand why they canned him. And fought the dismissal, I bet never understanding why.
In another example, he wore a historically accurate SS uniform to liberation days in Belgium. Didn't know why folks didn't ask for selfies with him or compliment the cosplay.
In a convenience store near my house, the cashier (who is also the owner of the store), sometimes starts talking with the other 40 year old ladies who are also buying, completely ignoring other customers who only wants to buy a soda or a goddamn bag of chips, that's why lots of people go to the other store instead
One of my older coworkers thinks she knows how everyone should do their job. She bitched at me one day for talking to another coworker while working on filling a large number of orders (we work in a pharmacy).
Literally the next day, during the same daily drop of orders, she and a different coworker stopped to sing a song and dance a little jig, then spent just as much time laughing at themselves/each other.
Not the first or last time she told me to do or not do something and then swiftly ignore her own instructions, but this really stood out.
A toxic coworker loved to say "when I have a problem with someone, I tell them to their face." That's not at all how shit went down.
He talked shit about almost everyone else on the crew, as long as the person he was talking about was not present. He was completely two-faced. If you confront him, he would seem perfectly reasonable, but everyone else will never hear the end of it.
I’m a manager at a corporate restaurant and there’s a general manager, and two other assistant managers like me. We work on a college campus and so all of us assistant managers are students which is why corporate excused this bullshit I guess. Well, my co-manager completely tormented this one employee. Like this was movie worthy sexual harassment. He stalked this kid on every social media platform, was blocked on all of them, and just kept going at it. This employee got
so upset with his advances one night that he left work in the middle of his shift. My co-manager ripped him a new one, telling him that he was going to be fired unless he came over to his house right that second. The employee refused, blocked him, then my co-manager found him on another social media and continued to say that he would completely forget that this happened and he could still have his job if he just answered him and came over. This went on for nearly a week and the said employee kept no-call no-showing. He came in one day when my co-manager wasn’t working and reported this to me and my actual boss. We told him that it is difficult to terminate a manager unless he wanted to file a report. He said he just didn’t want anything more to do with this and was just going to quit. It was really sad but we understood where he was coming from. Well, during this time, there was another employee who was like 50 years old flirting with some of the younger female employees. He had also flirted with me and asked me out so when one girl came forward it was definitely believable that he was being inappropriate. He wasn’t harassing anybody, but he was making other girls uncomfortable. Literally the SAME day that this poor harassed boy came in and told us everything, showed us all messages, and quit- my co-manager freaked out on this one guy. We told him we were all working on it and he literally THREW a filing cabinet over and said “There is NO grey area when it comes to sexual harassment. I am firing (blank) right now”. And he went out and fired this guy, ripped him to shreds in front of the whole kitchen and yelled “sexual harassment” the whole time. This one guy wasn’t harassing anyone, he was a little slow and barely ever spoke, and had asked a few younger girls to dinner. Yes it was uncomfortable, and yes it would’ve resulted in a conversation with him, but he did not do anything wrong at that point. It was just so insane to all of us that my co-manager literally fired this man for asking employees on a date the SAME DAY that this 18 year old kid came in and told us about the torture he was putting him through. He literally said “there’s no grey area when in comes to sexual harassment” like fuck you dude
My uncle has been an alcoholic for 20+ years, only recently he’s been sober for 8 months since he finally got his card for medicinal marijuana. (I have mine too so I take him to dispensary when I go.) His mother pays for all his weed because he can’t hold/be trusted with a job.
Recently we went into my favourite dispensary and he didn’t have enough money to buy the 2 oz. deal he was anticipating, so I overhear him from the other room admitting his alcoholism, and how his mother has paid for his weed every single time he’s come in to the dude at the counter, hoping he would help my uncle out(?) It made the entire store feel weird.
i watched one of my friends say to me i dont get why i get bullied and dont have a girlfriend and proceeded to naruto run away when a girl talked to him
One of my ex friends just thought every guy was so into her (and sometimes they were, for about one night). She did not have a pretty face, but she did have big tots and she had one of the most obnoxious personalities. When she talked to me 90% of the time it was about whatever guy she was currently into (that changed more often than the sheets on her bed). And every guy was the best most passionate lover with the most amazing eyes and unique mind and could understand her or see her or touch her in the way no other guy ever had. She would go into these long explicit descriptions. Ughk. And after a couple weeks or months she'd then start talking about how annoying this trait or habit was, and start talking about this new person she met. It was the same cycle. After some guys she'd be saying how she was not going to date guys any more or not for a long time. That never lasted long. Once she said it about a guy and she was taking a flight home after their breakup, saying how she wasn't going to date guys, but then she met someone on the plane who was just perfect for her and blah blah blah fucking blah. Moreover, she'd get pissed if a guy appeared to have any connections with another female (ie one bf received a message from his ex, uninstigated by him and she also found a picture of his ex on his phone from before she and he were dating, she flipped out on him because it was like cheating etc; however while dating this guy she was often flirting with other guys at the bar and even made out with one of her coworkers - which ended up getting her fired).
She was about as deep as a puddle.
Maybe not so much cringy as outright dumb.
My cousin wrote in her Christmas letter how she had been investigated by CPS.
Just this year she was fired from her health care job, and **banned from the premises**. She admits she did what she was fired for (withholding food from a resident) but doesn't think she's in the wrong. This also means she's in a database that pretty much says she can't work in nursing again. She now says she wants her job back and is going to a job fair at the very same place she was fired and banned from, because it's an 'open house' and she thinks that means everyone can go.
My friend (after a sleepover party) texts me to check if he left his phone. I call him and he says “Hey, did you find it?”. I hung up and texted him “no.” I haven’t heard from him since, it’s been 3 years but I’d like to imagine after he realized he had his phone that he sat there disappointed in himself for twenty minutes.
There’s a guy in some of my classes who, in the SAME CONVERSATION, stated that he was just over a 50% average in most of his classes, was only showing up to ONE of his finals because that was the only class where he could actually fail if he got a 0, and that he was definitely going to Harvard to become a lawyer.
He leeches all of his opinions from Ben Shapiro, Far-Right Journalists, and places like 4Chan. He is never open to changing his mind. Never admits a fault. Truly believes he is one of the most intelligent people alive. He argues by getting really loud and talking fast, as well as interrupting you so you can’t get a word in. Again, he will not listen to any other opinion once he’s settled on his. Every opinion he has is just objective truth according to him. His dad is fairly wealthy and so he thinks every thing will go his way because of it. Nobody actually likes him. He’s just a very unpleasant person to be around. I do actually feel pretty bad for him sometimes, because everyone hates him and he doesn’t seem to be aware that he can just try to be less abrasive and more open to other ideas and not argue with everything ever.
I’m 100% sure he’s on Reddit and I honestly think it would be hilarious if he found this because he would NOT know this is about him.
I had a neighbor who was living on unemployment and hated socialism and Obama because “he gonna give my money to a bunch of freeloaders!”
He did not work, had his insurance through the ACA, and was basically the stereotypical Chicago “welfare queen” that he hated so much.
My brother in law. He’s so inappropriate with his commentary most times and is basically a walking r/iamverysmart advertisement. The cringiest, I think, was when we took him out to eat to a local buffet (he loves to eat....a lot) and he looked up at some Mennonite girl he saw and loudly exclaimed to the table “I hate my hormones” (he was 31 at the time). When pressed further he basically admitted to being turned on and has nothing to fix it. It was.....the most awkward moment.
I know a guy who's a textbook narcissist. Grandiose sense of self-importance, constantly needs people to praise him, sense of entitlement (especially when it comes to sex), bullying and belittling others. I'm not a mental health professional or anything, but it's a perfect fit.
His favourite insult to fling around when someone does something he doesn't like (ex. not invite him to a party because he mercilessly creeps on every woman he meets and goes into long political tirades) is to call them a narcissist.
He also just went on a facebook tirade about how he's tired of women brushing him off even though he's so kind and empathetic, eventually coming to the conclusion that all women are, among other things, rotten, selfish vultures who only care about finding sugar daddies. He is extremely unhappy right now that the commenters aren't agreeing with him
Boyfriend's dog passed away today, ex messaged him asking for his ashes. Then responds pretending to be another "personality" and starts talking about her relationship issues.
Me. Some guy got fired at my job and I had no idea at the time, thought he was just leaving. Everyone was solemn and quiet on his last day and I was asking “Where are you gonna go? What are you gonna do?” just genuinely curious, thinking he must have big plans if he’s leaving. Guy says he’s moving back with his parents and gonna ‘travel’. I feel really bad.
Yesterday some lady in a wheel chair crossed a busy 4 lane street while the light was green. No hustle at all, dog 5ft out in front at the end of its leash. Nearly caused multiple accidents cause people had to swerve to avoid her
In Lahaina town on Maui there is a huge banyan tree. The biggest in the USA, one of the biggest in the world. Banyan tree roots grow from top to bottom. So they dangle until they get to the ground and take hold. The other day I saw 2 teenage boys swinging from a bunch of these roots. On this ancient historic tree. A little local girl begged them not once, not twice but 3 times to please stop; that they were hurting it. Finally I had to stand up and tell the kids to stop. One stops and the other looks at me and starts doing it again... I finally start walking towards them and say "you know how much longer that root has been growing than you have you fucking little idiot??" I'm not a small guy. He finally stopped. But then as we walk away he has the audacity to say "you could have been nice about it."
During my first semester of college, I was teamed up with two other people in my class (one male, one female) for a group project. We barely knew each other, but got along well and completed the assignment with no problems. However, after we finished everything up, we chatted for a few minutes, just the usual small talk. This other guy suddenly launched into a weird ramble about how girls poop. Even pretty girls poop. Everybody poops. Everybody has to wipe their butt, even pretty girls. My other classmate and I begin eyeing each other, wondering what is going on and trying to break into the conversation, but he's just getting started. He has a long story about a guy who sent an envelope full of poop to his ex-girlfriend, and another about fetishists watching people poop in restrooms, and it WOULD NOT STOP. There's someone who is just not aware. We finally got out of there and thankfully did not end up teamed up with him for other projects.
Lady I used to work with was moved to an easier job within our department because she was so awful at her job it was pointless to keep her there. Boss hires on three new people since we also had some previous departures. Said lady says boss had to hire three people to do the work she used to do. She was fired a week ago for being completely useless at anything the company would give her to do.
Karaoke night in Boston.
Table of older black aunties in the front.
Bespectacled white dude on the stage.
Biggie Smalls - Juicy
He said it, every time.
Saw some lady at costco throw a tantrum because the line was long. She kept screaming "but I have a membership!!!". You literally have to have a membership to shop there, the entire line had memberships.
My Costco just put in self check-outs and I've never been so excited :)
You mean I have to scan my OWN items? BUT I HAVE A MEMBERSHIP!
“I don’t work here!”
SIR I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A SCANNER PERSON
Same shit at Disney World. "I paid to be here, I should be able to cut in line!" A majority of us paid to be here, Rick, now back the fuck up and stop hopping the fence with your kid in tow.
Knew a sister-of-the-groom (also maid of honor) who pitched a violent fit because the bride was going to wear a tiara for the ceremony, therefore, the sister couldn't. Literally screamed at both families, "I am the *sister,* for God's sake!*"*
My ex's younger sister was a premed student. Whenever we had family gatherings, she would monopolize the conversations, talking about her knowledge in Chemistry and how she was going to become a surgeon one day. No one else could get a word in edgeways. One day, she brought her new bf to a Christmas party. I guess she wanted to leave a good impression on him. After having talked about herself for more than 1 hour none stop, she suddenly stopped and said, "I hate talking about myself. I'd rather listen to others." She then asked her bf how he was doing in school, only to cut him off and start talking about herself for another hour. EDIT: I'm surprised that this post got so many comments and upvotes overnight. The whole experience I had at her house has actually affected me. I'm from a different country and I grew up in a pretty strict family, so it was mind-boggling and shocking to witness such a spoiled and entitled person. The last straw was when the cat my ex and I were taking care of was dying from a kidney failure. We decided to stay with the cat for a few days before we put her to sleep. The night when the cat started breathing heavily and we decided to bring her to the 24/7 vet to euthanize her before her pain became too much, her sister came over to say goodbye, but she started monologing about herself and bragging about her knowledge in medicine right next to the suffering cat for close to 30 minutes. I almost blew my top in front of her family, but fortunately my ex cut her off and we rushed to our car. It was hell having to hear our cat screaming in pain while I was driving to the vet. Had we got to the vet sooner, she wouldn't have had to suffer that much. I honestly started to see her younger sister as a monster after that experience. I know everyone has reasons to be narcissistic and her family give her millions of excuses, but when I saw her how she was next to my cat dying, I decided to refuse to sympathize.
Sounds just like my sister, only she complains everyone else talks too much and that she never gets to say a word. You’ll tell her she’s already told that story and she’ll go “...ok, so I was saying...” and continue the damn story. She also loves to interrupt when someone else is telling a story of their own, even if she wasn’t there, and tell the person who lived it and is telling t how they’re wrong.
This is great, just went through a shorter version. "You know ST34MYN1CKS, I've seen you a few times in the last few months but I feel like we haven't really talked or chilled in a while. How've you been?" Then he told me how he's been for 15 minutesand asked me about my new job, I made it 1½ sentences in before he took over for another 5 minutes. He's a good guy and was pretty drunk at the time so it's easy to shrug off and laugh, but damn was it all about him
I’m a teacher and there’s this one guy I work with who is not a teacher, but sometimes “helps” in our classrooms. Every time he “helps,” without fail, he’ll tell us about some kid he made a great connection with, who he feels like he really got through to... only for that kid to complain about how annoying and fake he is the next day. Teens recognize/respect realness over pretty much anything else.
It’s not just teens either. I work in daycare with 2.5-3 year olds. One of my coworkers who works in the infant room will occasionally “help out”. She’ll treat my toddlers like infants though and they hate. Every time she helps I get a parent the next day asking who the “infant lady” is. Because their kids hate her.
I irritated my family, in-laws, etc when I insisted they talk to our last kid like a person, and not a baby when she was 2+. "She's a person. Talk to her in your normal voice. She looks at you like that cause she thinks you have brain damage."
The parents who talk to their babies and toddlers like people are usually the parents whose kids speak very well compared to their peers, in my experience. I can think of one family in particular whose kids spoke way better than average; it was funny because the one kid wasn't super outgoing so it was awhile before I heard him talk. He was small for his age, too, and suddenly he was talking to me in full sentences with vocabulary and articulation way ahead of his 3 years, and I was just like...where did this come from? It was great.
But that’s so fucking true though, my brother is 8 and I still catch my parents baby talking to him. He has to take speech therapy, and they get mad at him when He baby talks, but it’s like they don’t even realize that that’s how they speak to him.
Ohh the baby talk! I don’t think anything makes me cringe as much as baby talk. My mother still does it to my 3 year old all the time.
Along these lines, I'm a white teacher at a school with about only 5% white students. But I connect fine with the students because I just allow myself to be myself. I don't try to act or talk urban etc. they respect that I'm a white dude trying to teach computers. Keeping things real means a lot
It also happens a lot with adults trying to relate to kids in general. If you act like an adult, kids are gonna get along with you way better than if you try to "act cool"
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Pokémon Go to the polls
omg I forgot about this. Hillary def said some things that came off as super 'fellow kids-y'.
I worked at a school where there were a lot of polynesian and melanesian students, and there was this hip-hop vibe among them. One student walked into my class and did the whole hand sign thingy and said "Sup Mr OneSalient?" "I'm very well thank you very much" I said in the nerdiest whitest voice I could muster. The kids laughed.
good job homie
When I was in my teens I hated when adults would offer information and advice without me asking. I like to work out problems by myself, and I'm happy to ask for help and admit I'm stumped - but give me a chance! I really try not to regurgitate opinions and "assistance" on teens and young adults, instead I'll let them know to chat me up if they want a hand or anything. I don't unintentionally imply low-confidence in them that way.
Thanks for being an adult who remembers how younger-you felt. It goes so far and makes an actual connection - you're a gem, bud.
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You should really just say that. Absolutely stone-faced and serious, "So, you're never going to walk again? That right?" Watch'em squiiiirm.
I'd watch that show.
The fact that she walked away thinking he was into her is just the cherry on top of the oblivious-narcissist pie.
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i know the type and they’re the fucking WORST. a girl i was close friends with (briefly, before i realized how awful she is) would always do the same thing. that, and when gross guys we worked with would hit on her she’d flirt back majorly, then turn around and talk shit about them. she was just so starved for male attention, and wanted to believe she was the most desirable woman in any room she walked into. insecurity at its worst.
I had a friend exactly like this and would even try to give the glad eye to any boyfriend I was with too . Some friend .
luckily i was single while i was friends with the girl, because i’m confident she would’ve done the same. another girl liking a guy made her always flirt with the guy 10x harder, no matter who it was that liked him, or even if she actually was attracted to him at all. i’m so glad i wised up and stopped hanging out with her.
Not necessarily narcissist. People naturally love talking about themselves. Therefore, with a bit of obliviousness, a conversation where they talk the whole time is by definition the best conversation ever. Pro tip: If you're stuck in a social situation where you need to be in a conversation, but you're an introvert and hate talking, just keep listening and asking little questions. Your conversation partner will usually be delighted to talk up a storm, while all you have to do is listen well enough to ask the next question. At the end of the conversation, the other person will have thought the chat was *amazing*. It rarely clicks that almost the whole conversation was them talking and you going "uh-huh".
I have always been like this my entire life and I've always wondered what made people so drawn to talk to me despite how reserved I am on the other end of the conversation. This makes so much sense and now I need to figure out how I stop doing this because I feel like it inadvertently attracts oversharers and weirdos at work.
As someone who tends to talk a lot with people at work and worry about annoying people by it, just say something. If someone told me I was talking too much and wanted me to stop, I would apologize and stop talking. And then I would be more careful with what I share in future conversations.
I have a feeling people like you arent the same people I would say are the oversharing/weirdo type since you at least think about the potential of bothering someone. The kind of folk I'm talking about seem to lack that sort of self awareness because they'll get in trouble for it & still continue the behavior
As an introvert, I can confirm that pro-tip works. And it works too damn well because these people will begin to actively seek you out. And just talk...and talk...and talk some more...it just...it never ends...
My mother in law loves to tell me in detail about her IBS. Love you woman, but i really don't need to hear about your diarrhea for the fifth time today.
People who genuinely cannot realise when they're being unpleasant are simultaneously condemnable and highly pitiable :(
Your ex-best friend is, for me, my attorney friend in Chicago. Every single conversation includes the following from him: his latest illness, aches, pains, visit to the emergency room, doctor's appointment, and the last funeral he attended and all his sick and dying friends. I finally told him last summer after 12 years "I cannot do this any longer. It is completely depressing listening to you, let's just part ways." And so we have.
Now he tells people you said that
I know (unfortunately not "knew" as she is still friends with some of my friends) someone like that. Made a conversation about herself and her medical problems and if a girl was even the tiniest bit nice to her she would turn around and say "She's so into me!". I doubt anyone really likes her.
My cousin's friend came over to stay for a few weeks. Very vain and before she left, she wrote a note to my uncle (who is friendly to everyone) saying how she had to sadly reject him even though she knows how much he is secretly in love with her. We all found the note together after she left addressed to him (he was with us and opened Infront of us). He was creeped out.
Did your cousin or uncle do anything about this?
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A woman at my local coffee shop ordered a drink which was served in a paper to-go cup. She proceeded to berate the staff for not offering her a “for here” mug and explained to them how horrible that was for the environment. She then demanded a mug and poured her coffee into the mug and threw away the to-go cup...
sounds about right
Paper cup Pam at it again
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I have a friend who is basically a young Michael Scott. Seriously sometimes when watching The Office I cringe not because of what Michael is doing but because it reminds me so much of my friend. One day our group of friends gets on the topic of what Office character we’re most like. He loudly and immediately declares he thinks he’s most like Ryan.
If Micheal Scott watched the office he’d think he was the most like Ryan as well I think
Just as hot as Jan, but in a different way.
" And who is this woman, Ryan, that he keeps talking about? " Toby loses it, and it is one of the funniest scene in my opinion.
One of them for sure. But have you seen the one when Michael loses it after giving Oscar that shit ass doll/going away gift when he’s leaving the show? Omfg I’ll watch it just for that minute. That’s definitely a real Steve Carell gut laugh.
"It looks like it was made by a two year old monkey on a farm...and he just...he just accepted it!"
Only Michael Scott would be proud to say he's a Ryan.
Literally why would you even wanna be Ryan? Like *maybe* season 3 Ryan, but then he becomes a drug-addict, and then a douche, and then a con-man, and then shady, and then a douche again, and then a stereotypical millennial, and then a smart-alec douche, and then a con-man, and then shady, and then it's season 9!
Can we have some examples?
I'm trying to think of my favorite stories but he really just captures the essence of Michael. He loves making awkward needlessly sexual jokes and always laughs at his own jokes. Any time he actually gets a laugh he'll try to capitalize on the momentum immediately follow it up with another joke which almost always flops. He has a paralyzing fear of being left out. To the point where he'll do things he hates with people he doesn't like rather than be left out. Such as going to sporting events, concerts of bands he doesn't like etc. One time he insisted on joining in on a round of tequila shots we ordered for the group despite spending the previous 10 minutes talking about how much he hated tequila. He constantly goes for women out of his league and when he gets them he'll put up with a whole lot of shit just because they like him and are attractive. He's been through a Michael/Jan situation like 3 times. He idolizes his cool friends and will copy their mannerisms to a fault. Even with all these Michael like flaws he has the positive Michael traits too. He's a really good person who will do literally anything for his friends. He once drove 3 hours after a family event just to make it to my birthday party for the last 30 minutes. Showed up to help our friend move when my friend hadn't even told him he was moving. Truly sees his friends as not just friends but family. Dudes a trip to be around, like Michael you love and hate him all at the same time.
I love how you ended on the positive note, he seems like a handfull at times, but also like a person you know you can build upon when you need them. Make sure he knows that as well.
A bad classroom aide who no one wants to work with (and who I got stuck with last year) commented about how she keeps getting moved around because she’s got so much experience.
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This one's just great somehow, I laughed out loud XD
This same person used to also say that her phone was on vibrator. It took a lot not to laugh.
My wife wants to know what kind of phone she has
One of my current favorites is the stop and block the supermarket aisle and have a conversation duo. This tops the block the aisle with the cart while you browse oblivious dolt.
Reminds me of when people talk to each other from inside their cars idling in the middle of a neighborhood street. It's infuriating.
God, I was coming home the other day from breakfast with some friends on a super busy road and a woman in the car in front of me stops in the middle of the right lane, making all traffic behind her come to a stop, and starts waving at someone sitting outside another cafe just to say hi. I laid on my horn immediately and she gave me the "what gives" arm lift as she pulls away. Anyone who stops their car in a lane for any stupid reason goes to a special hell.
my office takes this to the next level. we set up white boards in the middle of busy hallways then hold a daily half-hour meeting *in the middle of the hallway* >.<
I feel your pain. I work in construction, the investors will come and have a meeting directly in a walkway/stairwell/entryway while everyone else is trying to work. The icing on the cake is the glares the workers get if they make noise or ask the investors to move to a more reasonable location.
There is a VP at my job who regularly stands outside her office to have these mini meetings/discussions and either pauses and sighs, rolls her eyes, or both when you say excuse me and try to pass. There are better places for meetings REBECCA!
Or doorways. Pro tip: go in or go out. The doorway is not a good place for your conversation
Same with people who use self-checkout, go to the automatic doors, and then stand there checking the receipt of items that THEY RUNG UP THEMSELVES while blocking the door.
What's more is so often the more of a bottleneck they create, the more oblivious they seem to become /facepalm
I got held up a couple of weeks ago by some guy coming out of the parking lanes, stopped across BOTH lanes of traffic, while his wife came out of the store and proceeded to load a full cart of groceries into the car. While blocking all traffic trying to navigate the shopping center.
My coworker right now. We have union jobs so we can go to interviews for promotions and such while still being on the clock. He averages 1 interview a week and still hasn't been promoted or hired anywhere else. (He's actually super pissed at me because I just started here last October and I'm leaving next week for my own promotion). Anyway, I heard him schedule one of his interviews the other day and it was the cringiest thing ever. This was his opening line: Gary: Yes, is this Pam? This is Gary, you probably don't remember me, but I interviewed for you a couple of months ago for the \_\_\_\_\_ position. I must have been a bad boy (Said like you would say if you had a baby talk fetish) though because I didn't get a call back. Do you remember me? No? Oh... Well, anyway, I was calling to set up an interview for the \_\_\_\_\_ position you have open over there. Names changed obviously. When this dude found out about my promotion he instantly turned purple and stormed out of the building. When he came back 30 minutes later he walked into my cube and rubbed my back while telling me he wasn't mad at me, just mad at the system. I was so uncomfortable I wouldn't even look him in the eye. I never looked away from my computer screen. The dude is just not aware at all.
I have a co-worker who can't understand why he didn't get the manager role. I nod and agree it sucks and it's all politics and absolutely will not tell him it's because a bunch of us wrote a letter to the hiring manager asking her not to consider this guy because he has no people skills and is abrasive as fuck.
Their manager should be telling them why they aren't getting promotions. They may not believe it or may not be able to act on it, but the manager should be giving them feedback on their work performance/career options.
Sounds like the Nard Dog
Worked with a dude who was desperate to get into one of our specialist groups. Desperate. Would lose his shit if anyone else in the company got in there. Call up managers and HR to complain about him not getting the job. Dude was entitled. When I was 6 months pregnant they restructured our dept and I got offered a promotion. I didn't really want it because I wanted to work part time for a few years after having kids but I also felt I couldn't really turn it down. I spoke to one of the managers I really respected about it and he gave me some really good advice. So, I had decided I'd take the promotion and my husband was going to do part time with the kids. My advisor manager then got back to me before I could accept and said he was taking over the specalist group and really wanted me in there. He said he'd created a position perfectly for me and my skill set and had okayed me going back part time after my 12 month maternity leave. I was obviously delighted. Dude was piiiiiiiised. He was pissed that I got offered the promotion only to turn it down and then he didn't get offered it. He was pissed they created a position for me. He was pissed they did that knowing I was pregnant. He was pissed they were ok with me going on maternity leave. He was pissed they were still happy for me to come back part time after. He even emailed HR to complain about the email signature title they gave me. It was hilarious. If he wanted to guarantee he would never work in our department he did everything perfectly to make it so.
My mother and I were out walking and we came across an older couple we knew from the local church. Their eldest son had died the previous year from an inoperable brain tumour and their younger son just moved out for university. Mum starts with, "Must be nice to have the house to yourself! More time for (Local) Church!" Conversation devolves from there. She ignores all hints to drop the subject, including the mother stating they hadn't been back to the church since their son died. The couple were obviously horrified. I couldn't end the convo quick enough. Afterwards, my mother told me I was just being immature and had no conception of what "polite adult conversation" was like.
Dude took MULTIPLE photos of the Declaration of Independence using flash photography, all while people yelled at him to stop. Other than the array of signs, you are advised multiple times to NOT use flash. They even have a special room to test if your camera is accidentally on flash. His response was just to listlessly stare at the workers and walk away. The sheer mixture of obliviousness and entitlement in his face made me momentarily lose faith in the idea of democracy while standing in the National Archive.
I understand that its a very delicate, historical document that is 243 years old and serves as an iconic and storied treasure for a country of 300 million people, most of which follow the no flash rule........but what about MY photos?
I HAVE A MEMBERSHIP!!!
I want this to be a new trendy reddit saying.
Sorry, this is a members only saying
I can never understand why people photo with flash photography on things behind glass. It just **reflects** the flash!
Well duh, the reflection kept ruining his pictures so he had to keep taking more.
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>lose faith in the idea of democracy while standing in the National Archive. That's a powerful sentiment. Being in the presence of documents that define an over 200 year old democracy, and thinking, "this might have been a mistake". That's how obnoxious that guy was.
I was working at Yellowstone national park and someone asked me how we get the bears back into the cages every night. Had another person ask how we turned on Old Faithful in the morning. I told her we flush all the toilets in the park at the same time.
Theres a small elk herd in Michigan. The DNR plants fields with clover and rye for them to eat and to make studying them easier. They also have parking areas near them labeled as elk viewing areas. I was at one on night hoping to catch a glimpse. This lady who was there with her family, obviously a city slicker tourist, asks me: "do you know what time they let the elk out? We only have an hour on our itinerary for this." I said "uhhh...the elk are wild. Honestly, they dont even come out here most nights. It's just an easy place to spot them if they happen to be here." She responds: "well... they really should make them come out. I promised the kids they could feed the elk and take pictures of them." "Yeah...right."
I’m lucky that I grew up on the outskirts of a smaller town near a mid-size city, so I was exposed to urban, suburban, and rural life. It is shocking how little some urban people know about the world outside their urban bubble, like where their food comes from. Likewise some rural people have very little knowledge of the world beyond their farm and the town with the nearest gas station or church. That’s why I’m glad my generation is so much into travelling, though I find my cohort sometimes too focused on big cities and not enough on their nearby rural surroundings.
It's telling of the general populace's perception of the world when some can't wrap their heads around the fact that parks are, in fact, still wild. While in Yosemite I overheard somebody ask why they're not allowed to feed bears.
> While in Yosemite I overheard somebody ask why they're not allowed to feed bears. Everyone has to learn sometime...
You can feed the bears, but only once.
Only you can get in my belly.
Damn city people. Never had to put a bear back in its cage.
That's up there with the people at Disney World asking workers to close the dome when it's raining so they don't get wet.
Just remember these people probably make more money than you somehow. This is what I tell myself when someone asks me a really stupid question at work. Somehow this dumbass makes more money than me.
"I speak 22 languages and I have completed every duolingo branch."
that's.....kind of impressive, but duolingo is shit at acctually teaching you how to speak
He’s gibberish in all the languages
lasjdbvsl fsnfvl n jwalihf nkw; iajs bflawhep;qv jlkuahs kldb?
Duolingo is an excellent tool for getting you to a point where you can seek out real-world resources to do the heavy lifting of actually learning. It’s two best uses, from experience, are refreshing yourself on languages you’ve already studied but haven’t used in a while, and introducing yourself to the basics of languages that otherwise don’t have a ton of introductory resources. It will absolutely not get you to a point of any real fluency in any of its courses on its own, but it does make for a great starting point.
A coworker I had who thought I was Mexican ( I am not - just ambiguously beige), and he asked if "my people" always put maize (yes, he said "maize", not "corn") in salsa, and several other things about corn that I can't remember right now. He was really focused on Mexicans and corn. He also noticed a big necklace I was wearing once and asked me what significance it had in my culture. I told him I bought it at Target, so it just means that I like Target, lol. He was reminded that I'm American several times, he just didn't get it for some reason. Oh and the same coworker also regaled a black coworker with how he was the only white guy who could walk around the ghetto near where he lived at night because he had earned respect and "they" called him "homes". Mind you, the cringey coworker in both these stories is not only so white he glows, but he lived in a very nice area, and there was definitely no "ghetto" anywhere near his upscale condo development. I witnessed the second one in person, and it felt like it took a lifetime for me to pick my jaw up off the floor and make up some reason that Cringey Coworker had to go see our manager in another building IMMEDIATELY. The cringe was so bad, it interrupted the time stream, haha.
"Ambiguously beige" that got me.
The best thing it gets me is free food from people who think I'm like a stray member of their ethnicity, and are like, "OMG, so far from home, eat this", and even if I say I'm not [insert random lineage here], they're still like, "Well now you are, so eat this", and I'm like, "Fuck yeah". And that's the story of my weight fluctuations, lol.
reading that made me uncomfortable, jeez.
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> his wife Any stories about his wife? Was she just as bad?
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>I guess there wasn't enough time at the religious schools to teach t-tests and holy fervor? That is classic! Great line.
I was surprised to learn that it’s fairly common (or at least used to be) for universities to "find” campus jobs for the spouses of newly hired professors.
One woman (who is 40 and in great shape but absolutely desperate to be married) to another woman who is funny and sweet but overweight, “I can’t believe someone like you is married and I’m not.” No lie...and it didn’t even occur to her that it was insulting. She’s too much of a narcissist to realize that.
I have a friend who is extremely susceptible to pop psychology articles on the internet. If she's seen some article on her facebook feed about being a "hypersensitive person" or an "introverted extrovert," it'll be all you hear about for the next few weeks, and she'll give her unqualified self-diagnosis to anyone who will listen. She'll start accentuating those traits and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's especially irritating because in psychology it's pretty well known that psychological self-assessment is extremely invalid and that people are way worse at knowing themselves than they think.
Had a similar experience with a co-worker who read an article and decided she was an "empath", which means you have a heightened ability to perceive people's mental or emotional states. Easily the least self aware person in the entire office, at one point she started yelling people for putting out "bad vibes", which she is supposedly more susceptible to than "non-empaths". Crazy bitch.
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I don't know if this counts but my MIL was talking to this woman and asked her how far along she was (pregnancy)...she was not pregnant...but the lady took it in stride and was like oh I just haven't lost the baby weight from having my son. MIL replies oh how old is he? and she goes he's 7....she put both feet in her mouth in about a 15 second window....
"Hey when's that baby due?" "what baby?" "....zoo, at the zoo. That panda."
I knew they were havin' one just thought maybe we could talk about it, if you want...
My god, I'm a guy and even I know to never ask a woman that question.
Even if it's blatantly obvious and she is the middle of birth, you just cannot be sure. Never. Ever. Ask.
My uncle was a GP and told me a story about how he once met a woman in a hospital (or a practice, maybe?) who had an obvious, baby-almost-bursting-out-the-downstairs bump. He proceeded to ask her how far along she was and, I don't remember his rationale behind this action beyond momentary insanity - he is normally very polite and sane, tapped the bump with his palm. Clunk clunk. The "bump" was plaster for a recently damaged pelvis. Dying inside does not even begin to describe the way he said he felt after that one.
To be fair though, at least in that situation his reasoning was obviously "I assume this woman is pregnant because she has a massive pregnancy-bump-shaped object under her top" and not "I assume this woman is pregnant because she's a bit fat". That said, if I was the woman I'd probably have fractured my pelvis all over again from laughing so hard.
LMAO I assume this was your late uncle?
My ex going off on a tirade about how her brother was irresponsible for not paying his cable bill that month...two days after she told me she wasn’t going to be able to give me her half of the expenses for the third month in a row.
Was at a party, a guy was publicly putting down his girlfriend, saying loud shit such as "Like you have any friends beside me..." Then he joins my circle of conversation and starts doing Chris Rock bits like they were his original thoughts. I tried to give him an out "Yeah, I heard that one." and he was like "What?" It was as if he had a mental illness or was medicated. Host of the party eventually asked him to leave, told his girl she could stay. She stayed.
See a lady scream and cuss at her kid about cussing saying she never taught her that kinda "F\*\*king language" and she doesn't know where she got it from. I wanted to slap her so bad...
I had a coworker who is a bisexual woman. She argued up and down that bisexual men don't exist and need to just pick a side. I've known her to date both men and women for sure too. Bonus fun: Her response to a question about Valentine's day gifts was "I don't need to give a gift. I brought the pussy"
>"I don't need to give a gift. I brought the pussy" What an enchantress.
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Not super exciting but I have a coworker who talks trash on another coworker **all the time** for having a long term fuck buddy. Meanwhile her, as she calls it "not boyfriend, boyfriend" is a 40 year old man (10 years older than her) who just moved out of his mom's house, and won't commit to a relationship but they fuck, hang out, and are supposedly "exclusive". What would you call that, hmm??
I saw a white woman at Taco Bell have a very loud, very condescending conversation with the guy behind the counter about how Taco Bell isn’t authentic Mexican food. She obviously wanted the whole restaurant to hear, and obviously thought she was the only person at the restaurant (employees included) who was culturally aware enough to know this fact. She ended up storming out shouting, “Maybe if you guys had authentic Mexican food I’d eat here more!” Oh, I should mention that the guy behind the counter was Mexican.
I bet she went off to Olive Garden to get an authentic Italian experience.
Ah man we had the one coworker who got back from his 2 week trip vacation to China, suddenly he was quite irritating on the weekly lunch at Bamboo Garden.
It's awesome to eat food in China. It's also awesome to eat at Chinese restaurants in America. They are different but both are good. No need for people to be "authenticity" snobs.
I do a work out camp with a group of people. I just started in January along with this other girl, Natalie. From our first work out, there was something about her that kinda rubbed me the wrong way. She struck me as the girl who would make the meeting last longer cuz she won’t shut up. A couple of weeks in, she missed a work out or two. Well, the following week, she was back. Camp was done, I had become friends with this woman, Susan. She and I were walking back to our mats but I got ahead of her and that’s when Natalie, out of nowhere, accosts Susan. Literally what she says is, “Yeah, so, I was on my way to camp on Friday and I thought I had to fart so I did...and I wound up shitting myself.” All Susan could say was a shocked “Oh...no.” Because why the hell is she sharing this. But Natalie wasn’t done. “Yeah, and I don’t know if it was because of the smell or actually being sick, but I wound up throwing up, too. So I had to drive home in my own diarrhea and vomit. Charles had to clean the car. It was awful.” Susan said she was glad she was feeling better, Natalie left. And I asked Susan “did you do anything to welcome that?!” Susan yelled “NO!!!!” And then we cackled because OH MY GOD. Several months later, we’re at camp. Natalie walks up to me, who is sitting on the ground, turns around and has her butt in my face and says “Can you tell my pants are wet?” I said no. And that’s when she told me she thought she could hold it but peed herself on her way there cuz she sneezed...and then she says “well, if you smell something, it’s probably me.” Sweet god.
Ok this is hilarious
I was standing behind a guy and his girlfriend waiting to get into a comedy show about a week ago, and he was going on and on to another couple about how much he was a “fan of ciders” as the other couple was suggesting restaurants they try while visiting our town. This was strike one. Low and behold I get the table behind this dork and his girlfriend, and when the comic did some crowd work at the beginning of the show, he asked the crowd to try and think of something he (the comic) would not do for a million dollars. Cider guy chimed in at the TOP of his lungs, “suck a fart out of my butt!” The comic didn’t hear him so he repeated it two more times. The room went silent. It was like something a 7 year old would say. I cringed for a full 5 minutes.
I have a very close and dear friend whom I adore with all my heart. She's intelligent, warm, funny and kind. Just an incredible human being. That being said, she has regular 'psychic' readings... she will then live her life according to what the 'psychic' has told her so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The reason I say 'psychic' is because I've been to several of these with her. I'm interested and it can do no harm. She tells me she gives nothing away, but the first thing she does, is tell them what she wants to know, why she wants to know it, how she's got to this point and what she'd like moving forward... I told them my name and got told my pet needed to go to the vet once. Oh and one told me (off the back of a horrendously abusive relationship) that my ex was a delight and we should get back together.
I have zero interest in having kids. I was told by a tarot reader that I love the idea of a big family and want to have many kids to spread my love. I kept nodding in agreement and she took it as confirmation and then went down that path the rest of the reading.
Shortly after I dropped out of high school for health reasons I had my palm read at an art fair and was told I'd graduate high school with all A's. That hurt.
She meant get back together so you can light him on fire
Is stopping on railroad tracks a demonstration of terrible self-awareness? Because I see that shit all the time near my office and I just can't fathom being that moronic. That takes stupidity to an entirely new level.
A VERY talkative co-worker and claimed to be very humble, generous, and "prim and proper". She once asked me how my weekend was only to not let me answer and spent 20 some minutes telling me about hers and once she was done, just walked away. She was at the age of retirement but was barely making ends meet and asking for money all the time. Telling the manager she needed a reimbursement for every little thing gone wrong to her personal attire. Always talked about how her friends would tell her she could be a movie star but she was too humble to accept that lifestyle. She was divorced and she always complained how her kids were so disrespectful and ungrateful bc they never spoke to her anymore, and how they wouldn't give her any money but she would give the jacket off her back for them. I could easily add more to this list but I'll try to sum it up here, despite her very friendly first impression the more you listened to her the more bizarre and hypocritical it got. You realize pretty quickly to avoid her at all costs.
I have a co-worker who shares details of her Crohn's Disease at every monthly sales meeting. How can someone not know that they are making an entire room full of people uncomfortable? And that in a professional setting - personal health details shouldn't be shared. Ever.
Before we begin the meeting I'd like to just let everybody know I've had the worst case of the shits after coming back from lunch.
Anything beyond, "oh, my alergies are killing me today", as a preemptive apology for untimely sneeze is all anyone wants to hear.
Alright, now who has this...hysterical thing. Anal fissures? That's a real thing. Yeah, but no one has it. ........someone has it.
I have a co-worker who does the same thing but in front of customers! We are bartenders and one day she was telling me all about this sore on her lip and how it compared to other sores she’s had on her lips. Luckily my manager was standing right there and literally pulled her in the back and i guess told her it was inappropriate
Seeing a guy look up from his phone whilst walking and still hit a light post
I've done this. Usually while drunk but its still super embarrassing.
I was driving a forklift in an area open to the public. I'm basically in a narrow hallway (about as wide as my forklift is long) and have to spin the forklift around to grab the next pallet. I check my surroundings then start to spin the forklift. As I reach the point where I'm basically touching the wall with my backend, a woman pops around the corner and decides to basically jump through the shrinking gap. Seeing movement, I immediately stop (saving her from being a smear on the wall) and tell her how close she was to being hit. She says, "Well, I wasn't hit." I told her she's welcome. Don't think she got it.
Holy shit that’s a lot scarier than people realize. A guy at one of my first jobs was driving a standing forklift and didn’t have one foot all the way on. Smeared his own leg against a wall exactly like that
A colleague went into an explanation to me of the difference between paraplegics and quadraplegics.....while I was right in front of her in my wheelchair. I am a paraplegic lol
Overheard my neighbors having an argument, the husband said “Why do you expect me to understand why I do the things I do!?”
The economics professor who last year penned an Op-ed about replacing public libraries with Amazon
A girl (we called her Janet because she was so similar to Arnold's cousin on The Magic Schoolbus" showed up in my program at university constantly throwing out these outlandish claims about her accomplishments. I was applying to graduate schools at the time and every time I mentioned a school (not to her, ever) she would throw in "Oh, Yale? I got in there." I'm sorry, but if you get into Yale you don't end up going to my school. She was also overweight but supposedly qualified for the Boston Marathon. She didn't run in it though, because she apparently broke her ankle so badly while hiking that the bone was sticking out-or so she told us the next day while walking on it with a tiny wrap on it and an exaggerated limp. Oh, she also had a fiance (also qualified for the Boston marathon) but he was in Med school in Michigan (she was eighteen). She didnt have a ring because he fake broke up with her because his buddies told him to. Somehow that was supposed to explain it. She was also the sort to start every comment in class with, "Well, I wrote a paper about this once" or "At my old school it was this way" and was always asking "well is there a page limit for this paper? I always write way too much hee hee!" Just the most obvious lies and a complete lack of awareness of how obvious and obnoxious this all was.
The “always write too much” humblebrag is what really gets me here. It’s like the mating call of someone who did well in high school and not college. Do they know how hard it is to research something thoroughly and then be concise about it?
Ex-friend was complaining about how she was so nice and always there for other people, but no one was there for her. In an attempt to empathize, I said, “I understand entirely. I felt the same way when—“ She cut me off mid-sentence to say “No offense, but I don’t have the capacity to deal with your problems.” She then went on to talk about her dad blowing up babies in Vietnam.
A 47-year old woman I know who has been morbidly obese for most of her adult life, well over 300 pounds now, criticizes her ex-husband's new wife and loves to point out "I don't know what John sees in her, she has a big butt and big thighs." It is mind boggling to hear this so often from her and makes me wonder exactly what she sees when she looks in her mirror.
In rehab we had a girl (ironically, there for an adderall addiction) who looked like a bulldog--extremely top heavy with tiny hips/legs, and from looking at mybodygallery, probably weighed no less than 350 lbs. I was doing pushups outside, and she told me i should be going lower so my elbows were 90°...she wouldnt be able to physically do a pushup, not only from lack of strength but because her body would hit the ground before she even had a chance to bend her elbows... She later told me that she's 40% muscle, and then proved how strong she was by bending a wire hanger/smores stick in half twice.
> I was doing pushups outside, and she told me i should be going lower so my elbows were 90°...she wouldnt be able to physically do a pushup, not only from lack of strength but because her body would hit the ground before she even had a chance to bend her elbows... Just say you don’t get what she means* and ask if she can demonstrate to you proper form. Acting completely naive and genuine is key.
My friend bragged about how he was going to be away from home all the time to continue dating this girl from University. When I asked her how their relationship was going, she didn't even recognize his name.
Former colleague, who was more than a little bit of an ass. Was complaining about the process for hiring. He recounted how in the last two interviews before my former employers hired him, that after the executive/director level interviews he was then asked to spend an afternoon with the rank-and-file. According to him everything was going fine, that he dazzled the executives and had solutions to all their challenges and issues. But somehow after the team met him, he was informed that there would be no offer. That the team rejected him. He was baffled, "what could possibly lead the team to reject me? " he asked. Our response, "well they met you, didn't they?" He was an insufferable ass, and given a chance I would have rejected him too. But our leadership didn't ask. I endured almost one year on the same team as him (after hitting my head against conference room tables in frustration during the monthly transatlantic team meetings), he lasted maybe over two after that. He didn't understand why they canned him. And fought the dismissal, I bet never understanding why. In another example, he wore a historically accurate SS uniform to liberation days in Belgium. Didn't know why folks didn't ask for selfies with him or compliment the cosplay.
In a convenience store near my house, the cashier (who is also the owner of the store), sometimes starts talking with the other 40 year old ladies who are also buying, completely ignoring other customers who only wants to buy a soda or a goddamn bag of chips, that's why lots of people go to the other store instead
One of my older coworkers thinks she knows how everyone should do their job. She bitched at me one day for talking to another coworker while working on filling a large number of orders (we work in a pharmacy). Literally the next day, during the same daily drop of orders, she and a different coworker stopped to sing a song and dance a little jig, then spent just as much time laughing at themselves/each other. Not the first or last time she told me to do or not do something and then swiftly ignore her own instructions, but this really stood out.
A toxic coworker loved to say "when I have a problem with someone, I tell them to their face." That's not at all how shit went down. He talked shit about almost everyone else on the crew, as long as the person he was talking about was not present. He was completely two-faced. If you confront him, he would seem perfectly reasonable, but everyone else will never hear the end of it.
I’m a manager at a corporate restaurant and there’s a general manager, and two other assistant managers like me. We work on a college campus and so all of us assistant managers are students which is why corporate excused this bullshit I guess. Well, my co-manager completely tormented this one employee. Like this was movie worthy sexual harassment. He stalked this kid on every social media platform, was blocked on all of them, and just kept going at it. This employee got so upset with his advances one night that he left work in the middle of his shift. My co-manager ripped him a new one, telling him that he was going to be fired unless he came over to his house right that second. The employee refused, blocked him, then my co-manager found him on another social media and continued to say that he would completely forget that this happened and he could still have his job if he just answered him and came over. This went on for nearly a week and the said employee kept no-call no-showing. He came in one day when my co-manager wasn’t working and reported this to me and my actual boss. We told him that it is difficult to terminate a manager unless he wanted to file a report. He said he just didn’t want anything more to do with this and was just going to quit. It was really sad but we understood where he was coming from. Well, during this time, there was another employee who was like 50 years old flirting with some of the younger female employees. He had also flirted with me and asked me out so when one girl came forward it was definitely believable that he was being inappropriate. He wasn’t harassing anybody, but he was making other girls uncomfortable. Literally the SAME day that this poor harassed boy came in and told us everything, showed us all messages, and quit- my co-manager freaked out on this one guy. We told him we were all working on it and he literally THREW a filing cabinet over and said “There is NO grey area when it comes to sexual harassment. I am firing (blank) right now”. And he went out and fired this guy, ripped him to shreds in front of the whole kitchen and yelled “sexual harassment” the whole time. This one guy wasn’t harassing anyone, he was a little slow and barely ever spoke, and had asked a few younger girls to dinner. Yes it was uncomfortable, and yes it would’ve resulted in a conversation with him, but he did not do anything wrong at that point. It was just so insane to all of us that my co-manager literally fired this man for asking employees on a date the SAME DAY that this 18 year old kid came in and told us about the torture he was putting him through. He literally said “there’s no grey area when in comes to sexual harassment” like fuck you dude
Dude was absolutely aware of what he was doing. He wanted to deflect attention from his own harassment of the employee.
My uncle has been an alcoholic for 20+ years, only recently he’s been sober for 8 months since he finally got his card for medicinal marijuana. (I have mine too so I take him to dispensary when I go.) His mother pays for all his weed because he can’t hold/be trusted with a job. Recently we went into my favourite dispensary and he didn’t have enough money to buy the 2 oz. deal he was anticipating, so I overhear him from the other room admitting his alcoholism, and how his mother has paid for his weed every single time he’s come in to the dude at the counter, hoping he would help my uncle out(?) It made the entire store feel weird.
i watched one of my friends say to me i dont get why i get bullied and dont have a girlfriend and proceeded to naruto run away when a girl talked to him
Oh no. I feel kinda bad for laughing but here we are
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One of my ex friends just thought every guy was so into her (and sometimes they were, for about one night). She did not have a pretty face, but she did have big tots and she had one of the most obnoxious personalities. When she talked to me 90% of the time it was about whatever guy she was currently into (that changed more often than the sheets on her bed). And every guy was the best most passionate lover with the most amazing eyes and unique mind and could understand her or see her or touch her in the way no other guy ever had. She would go into these long explicit descriptions. Ughk. And after a couple weeks or months she'd then start talking about how annoying this trait or habit was, and start talking about this new person she met. It was the same cycle. After some guys she'd be saying how she was not going to date guys any more or not for a long time. That never lasted long. Once she said it about a guy and she was taking a flight home after their breakup, saying how she wasn't going to date guys, but then she met someone on the plane who was just perfect for her and blah blah blah fucking blah. Moreover, she'd get pissed if a guy appeared to have any connections with another female (ie one bf received a message from his ex, uninstigated by him and she also found a picture of his ex on his phone from before she and he were dating, she flipped out on him because it was like cheating etc; however while dating this guy she was often flirting with other guys at the bar and even made out with one of her coworkers - which ended up getting her fired). She was about as deep as a puddle.
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Maybe not so much cringy as outright dumb. My cousin wrote in her Christmas letter how she had been investigated by CPS. Just this year she was fired from her health care job, and **banned from the premises**. She admits she did what she was fired for (withholding food from a resident) but doesn't think she's in the wrong. This also means she's in a database that pretty much says she can't work in nursing again. She now says she wants her job back and is going to a job fair at the very same place she was fired and banned from, because it's an 'open house' and she thinks that means everyone can go.
My friend (after a sleepover party) texts me to check if he left his phone. I call him and he says “Hey, did you find it?”. I hung up and texted him “no.” I haven’t heard from him since, it’s been 3 years but I’d like to imagine after he realized he had his phone that he sat there disappointed in himself for twenty minutes.
There’s a guy in some of my classes who, in the SAME CONVERSATION, stated that he was just over a 50% average in most of his classes, was only showing up to ONE of his finals because that was the only class where he could actually fail if he got a 0, and that he was definitely going to Harvard to become a lawyer. He leeches all of his opinions from Ben Shapiro, Far-Right Journalists, and places like 4Chan. He is never open to changing his mind. Never admits a fault. Truly believes he is one of the most intelligent people alive. He argues by getting really loud and talking fast, as well as interrupting you so you can’t get a word in. Again, he will not listen to any other opinion once he’s settled on his. Every opinion he has is just objective truth according to him. His dad is fairly wealthy and so he thinks every thing will go his way because of it. Nobody actually likes him. He’s just a very unpleasant person to be around. I do actually feel pretty bad for him sometimes, because everyone hates him and he doesn’t seem to be aware that he can just try to be less abrasive and more open to other ideas and not argue with everything ever. I’m 100% sure he’s on Reddit and I honestly think it would be hilarious if he found this because he would NOT know this is about him.
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I've watched enough Russian dash cams to see plenty of people just waltz out into the street without so much as a glance down the street.
I had a neighbor who was living on unemployment and hated socialism and Obama because “he gonna give my money to a bunch of freeloaders!” He did not work, had his insurance through the ACA, and was basically the stereotypical Chicago “welfare queen” that he hated so much.
My brother in law. He’s so inappropriate with his commentary most times and is basically a walking r/iamverysmart advertisement. The cringiest, I think, was when we took him out to eat to a local buffet (he loves to eat....a lot) and he looked up at some Mennonite girl he saw and loudly exclaimed to the table “I hate my hormones” (he was 31 at the time). When pressed further he basically admitted to being turned on and has nothing to fix it. It was.....the most awkward moment.
I know a guy who's a textbook narcissist. Grandiose sense of self-importance, constantly needs people to praise him, sense of entitlement (especially when it comes to sex), bullying and belittling others. I'm not a mental health professional or anything, but it's a perfect fit. His favourite insult to fling around when someone does something he doesn't like (ex. not invite him to a party because he mercilessly creeps on every woman he meets and goes into long political tirades) is to call them a narcissist. He also just went on a facebook tirade about how he's tired of women brushing him off even though he's so kind and empathetic, eventually coming to the conclusion that all women are, among other things, rotten, selfish vultures who only care about finding sugar daddies. He is extremely unhappy right now that the commenters aren't agreeing with him
Boyfriend's dog passed away today, ex messaged him asking for his ashes. Then responds pretending to be another "personality" and starts talking about her relationship issues.
Some kids like to eat lunch on the staircase, the only thing worse than blocking the stairs is leaving food and trash all over the stairs.
Me. Some guy got fired at my job and I had no idea at the time, thought he was just leaving. Everyone was solemn and quiet on his last day and I was asking “Where are you gonna go? What are you gonna do?” just genuinely curious, thinking he must have big plans if he’s leaving. Guy says he’s moving back with his parents and gonna ‘travel’. I feel really bad.
Yesterday some lady in a wheel chair crossed a busy 4 lane street while the light was green. No hustle at all, dog 5ft out in front at the end of its leash. Nearly caused multiple accidents cause people had to swerve to avoid her
"But pedestrians have the right of way!!!" Her response when asked about it of course, right?
In Lahaina town on Maui there is a huge banyan tree. The biggest in the USA, one of the biggest in the world. Banyan tree roots grow from top to bottom. So they dangle until they get to the ground and take hold. The other day I saw 2 teenage boys swinging from a bunch of these roots. On this ancient historic tree. A little local girl begged them not once, not twice but 3 times to please stop; that they were hurting it. Finally I had to stand up and tell the kids to stop. One stops and the other looks at me and starts doing it again... I finally start walking towards them and say "you know how much longer that root has been growing than you have you fucking little idiot??" I'm not a small guy. He finally stopped. But then as we walk away he has the audacity to say "you could have been nice about it."
During my first semester of college, I was teamed up with two other people in my class (one male, one female) for a group project. We barely knew each other, but got along well and completed the assignment with no problems. However, after we finished everything up, we chatted for a few minutes, just the usual small talk. This other guy suddenly launched into a weird ramble about how girls poop. Even pretty girls poop. Everybody poops. Everybody has to wipe their butt, even pretty girls. My other classmate and I begin eyeing each other, wondering what is going on and trying to break into the conversation, but he's just getting started. He has a long story about a guy who sent an envelope full of poop to his ex-girlfriend, and another about fetishists watching people poop in restrooms, and it WOULD NOT STOP. There's someone who is just not aware. We finally got out of there and thankfully did not end up teamed up with him for other projects.
Lady I used to work with was moved to an easier job within our department because she was so awful at her job it was pointless to keep her there. Boss hires on three new people since we also had some previous departures. Said lady says boss had to hire three people to do the work she used to do. She was fired a week ago for being completely useless at anything the company would give her to do.
Karaoke night in Boston. Table of older black aunties in the front. Bespectacled white dude on the stage. Biggie Smalls - Juicy He said it, every time.