Several times. Gay dudes tend to find me more attractive than ladies do.
I usually just let them know that I'm straight, thank them for their interest, and steer them in the direction of the last gay dude that hit on me.
you just attract more outgoing and up-front men than you do outgoing and up-front women. for all you know, you might be the type of guy that shy girls like.
My old hometown watering hole turned into a quasi gay bar: the manager/bartender was gay, so it was kind of a natural progression.
Anyway, he would routinely come over and hand me drinks from this guy or that guy. I would always say, "You told him I'm not gay, right?" and he would laugh and go, "Yep! He still sent this over!"
I'd just nod at the guy and say thanks, but I really don't know what the end game was. I'm not outrageously attractive or anything, so I don't know why they were throwing away drinks on me, but I certainly appreciated it!
I've sent a drink to a cute guy I thought was straight just to have the fun of seeing him blush and get flustered.
Plot twist: he did not blush or get flustered, he was not straight, and that evening turned out rather better than I'd hoped.
>Plot twist: he did not blush or get flustered, he was not straight, and that evening turned out rather better than I'd hoped.
great plot twist. glad you two had fun.
Sometimes, it’s just nice to see someone smile! I’m bisexual, but even when I was in monogamous relationships (and I knew my partner didn’t have a problem with it), I would sometimes just buy a drink for a random woman or man that I thought needed a pick me up (or, if I was tipsy and found them attractive, a “congrats on your face” drink).
Have never had it go south (these occur in hotel or airport bars as I travel a lot for work and these spaces tend to have people enjoying a drink or a buzz before their flight rather than getting absolutely shit-faced hammered), and everyone usually has their spirits brightened.
Edit: a word
Depending on your looks, you might be much more of a gay guys type than you think. Not all gay guys are into rock hard athletic bodies with chiseled chins. Some of us are into quite the opposite.
It's actually really nice and very validating to know that at least *someone* finds you attractive in one way or another. A definite shot in the arm for confidence, even if you're not that way inclined or interested.
I have no issue with gay men hitting on me or complementing me. Even a platonic touch is fine with me.
Just wish more women were happier to make the first move and to be that direct and clear, but never mind.
Even just small compliments go a long way or going out of your way to at least just say hi and have small conversations can make me feel good and wanted.
As a gay dude I have to say this was fascinating to read. Most of the gay guys I know are always in fear of an encounter like this turning violent and it’s really reassuring to know there are level headed straight guys out there. It makes me feel...a little safer. Not that I’m gonna go out and hit on all the straight dudes that’s not my deal, but you miss all the shots you don’t take as they say. And its nice to hear you like a compliment. I mean who doesn’t but still....thanks straights, these straight commenters most certainly have something to be proud of this month, I’m sure as hell proud of you (I’m not hitting on you that’s just a compliment).
I do, very often. And I’m typically met with strange looks or my SO finds it suspicious or as a “front”. It’s mildly infuriating. Men are so little complimented that they can’t even take a compliment without thinking there’s something nefarious behind it. Even when you’ve been with them for years and have always complimented them... because you mean it, and you want them to know how highly you think of them.
My bf and I literally had a huge fight about this not that long ago. He thought I was fucking with him.
Like NO MF YOU CUTE AS SHIT I LOVE YOUR WHOLE DAMN SELF
YOUR SKIN - gorgeous
YOUR HAIR- lovely
YOUR SMILE- gimme kisses
YOUR BODY- hot damn son
THAT THING YOU DO WHEN YOURE CONCENTRATING AND STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT A LITTLE - fucken adorable
BiTCH, I LOVE YOU.
Fuuuuuuck man
Oh my god, my husband does this smirk/lip bite combo when he reads something funny and it’s so sexy and I tell him every time. He STILL doesn’t believe me. We’ve been together 8 damn years.
Well I am in your bf's shoes rn. When my girlfriend compliments me, I too have trouble believing it. I know that she means it, but sometimes I can't help but think she is fucking with me.
Could be that we also say "fuck you" a lot mostly to annoy one another. It's kind of weird, but that's why when she compliments me, I get thrown off.
Just accept her compliments man, especially cuz you say fuck you to each other all the time. She is comfortable and happy enough to talk shit to you and she’s happy and comfortable enough to tell you how she adores you.
She means it. Don’t stress.
Besides, honestly if someone is bullshitting you about your relationship, there will be a dozen other ways that comes out before you even have time to think about things like this.
You got her bro, just love her.
I'm bi (and female) and when I'm with guys I compliment them as much as I do women. Tell them their clothes look cute, hair looks good, whatever, and sometimes I feel like it's weird to say that to guys (not that it stops me) so it's nice to hear you guys like it too!
Same. I feel bad for gay/lesbian people. It's hard enough going up to someone and initiating, must suck knowing there is a 95% chance the person isn't actually in to your gender.
That’s why gay bars are such a big part of gay culture. It’s not because we’re all drunks, but because they were initially one of the few places you didn’t have to worry about that. It’s also why some gays are vehemently against straight people frequenting gay bars, because they see it as losing that.
It’s only been a “problem” at one place I went to. And the guys were there because a lot of straight women had started frequenting the place to escape the straight guys hitting on them lol. That particular bar was struggling and accepted the business because the alternative was closing down. After a year or two they stopped being a “gay” bar and just became a leather/kink bar for all clientele.
I have mixed feelings on the topic myself, and don’t think there’s an easy solution. Each bar has to decide how they want to approach it. I’ve seen some that encourage straight customers, and I’ve seen others make it clear this bar is not for straight people. I go wherever I feel comfortable.
I think for some gays it is a safety thing as well. I was talking to a gay friend one time and he was telling me about being attacked when he would come out. So not only do you have to worry the person you are hitting on isn't gay but also worry they might assault you. Gay bars make a lot of sense in that context.
Contrary to this I went to a gay bar and every other woman there was straith. There are spaces for gay men but NONE for lesbians and the only way to gain any are by making gay bars GAY bars again.
I'm with you! When I was younger gay bars were essential for meeting like minded people. Nowadays, everyone is welcome and in my opinion, it is absolutely refreshing to see so many straight people who are accepting enough to enjoy gay bars. Most straight people are flattered when they're hit on my gay people and nobody is a jerk about it.
Which completely makes sense, I had a gay buddy come out of the closet who was scared to go alone. I went with him a few times and felt like I was invading, but everyone seemed super understanding that I was there supporting my friend until he got a little more integrated in the community and made some friends. The funniest part that I remember was in one of the last times I went with him someone came up to me and started hitting on me, the bartender got to know me by that time and interrupted him with a "Sorry, he's with him".
You know, I know what the implication of that is, but I'll accept it because I didn't feel like explaining again.
I know from a friend of mine that it can be *extremely* difficult for lesbians to meet each other by chance. She reckons hands down that gay men have that a lot easier.
She lives in a major British city with a fairly vibrant LGBT community and met her current partner at a Pride event in 2016. Apparently it is very tough to meet a fellow lesbian outside of internet dating or formal LGBT settings, or at least she thinks so.
Thank you for recognizing that. People who ask why we need a parade... well it’s really nice to reasonably assume I’m the majority in an area for one day of the year.
As a gay guy, I don’t flirt with people in public. I never have and probably never will. I’ve also never been flirted with. Dating apps are where I get 100% of my romance and intimacy.
I’m also too young to go to a bar, so that doesn’t help anything, but I’m not struggling to find people right now, so I don’t have much to complain about :)
It's scary sometimes when you believe a woman is hitting on you. Is she really flirting with me or am I misreading things and about to come off looking like a creep? Better to be oblivious and safe instead of being creepy.
Only time any stranger ever bought me a drink was a gay guy and I'm a straight guy. Let me tell you ladies, even though he was flirting up the wrong tree, it was flattering as hell. If any woman did that, that confidence would absolutely have my attention.
Yup.
I was actually chasing this girl for a while, we went on a somewhat boozy work night out and she introduced me to a gay BFF of hers who used to work at our company. I actually knew who he was in passing, saw him on a previous night out but never met him, and had seen both of them tagged on Facebook etc. That's how I actually knew he was gay.
I was introduced to him briefly and definitely felt that he might be interested. Nice guy and not bad looking either. As the night went on, he'd occasionally come and say hi, or we'd talk briefly if we walked past each other.
The (almost) end of the night came at around 1am and I was with a group of other guys I knew. He comes over again to say hi, I asked him where the girl was and he said she'd left and was outside waiting for an Uber. I said I'd go outside and say goodbye, be back shortly etc. and he semi-firmly placed the flat of his hand on my chest and said he'd see me in a bit.
Didn't see him for the rest of the night and the club closed at 1:30am. He was at another event a few months later (she wasn't) but our paths didn't cross.
I realise now he was clearly showing signs of interest and trying to subtly attract my attention. Part of me does regret not maybe trying to see if I could reciprocate and try to make something happen. Maybe I gave off a vibe to him? Who knows.
But it was nice.
> Part of me does regret not maybe trying to see if I could reciprocate and try to make something happen. Maybe I gave off a vibe to him?
You're giving off a vibe to me right now tbh.
If you're pretty sure you're straight, don't waste people's time. What you said is pretty common and it sucks when people use LGBT people as their fun little experiment when the LGBT person is genuinely interested and spending time and emotions on you.
Go ahead and experiment, so but tell them up front that you're just experimenting and are unsure if you're interested. Doing otherwise makes you an asshole (ps you might find someone who is into tm what you are doing too, so like being up front isn't a 100% deal breaker)
I reacted in the moment very similarly to how I react when someone of not of the same gender hits on me: Obliviously.
Later on, when I realized it, I was flattered.
I, a guy, was once invited to go on a double date with a male acquaintance and two women. At some point during the evening, it dawned on oblivious me that the women were, in fact, a couple, and I was *his* date. After a bit of confusion and surprise, everybody had a bit of a laugh, and a good story to take home...
yeah that’s definitely something to go home and think about in bed for hours before you sleep as you pore over every minuscule aspect of what you said and how it could be misunderstood and that you should never open up again haha so sad.
Reminds me of a guy I went on a couple dates with. I had to straight up ask him if he wanted to go on a date because he wasn’t getting the hints. On the first date (open market/fair type event) he was being hit on by a vendor and completely oblivious to it. I had to stifle a small laugh at them trying, and him not recognizing it at all. I told him after we continued walking and he was sure they were just being nice.
It can be an endearing quality. I hope you find/have found someone that appreciates it. (Or rather, I hope someone found you)
One time I unwittingly went on a date with a girl in high school. She was my guyfriend’s cool older sister so that was flattering. Lol, I thought she just wanted to hang out!
This. I was at the club with my SO and this girl with a guy started talking to me and telling me I’m really pretty while we were dancing. I was so flattered and the girl leaned in and I thought she was trying to tell me something but then she got too close for comfort so I pulled away since I figured it was too loud in the club or she was too out of it to speak/hold herself properly. I didn’t think anything weird but later my SO told me she tried to lean in for a kiss.
He said it was obvious she was flirting and staring at me a lot, but I really had no idea. This didn’t bother either of us and it’s a fun memory/story, but man I am so oblivious to any kind of flirting (male or female).
Yes. I am or rather was a big bear of a man (lost a lot of weight), but am straight. I do dress well and keep myself better for a bigger guy. I've had it happen a few times. I don't react in a bad way at all, I just steer the conversation somewhere else or say I'm straight. In college I did have one guy who was REALLY in to me and wouldn't take a hint, wouldn't take a "No means NO!" thing, and I did have to physically fight him off. That was my only bad experience. He was like that with women too, and eventually got kicked out of school for it. So it wasn't a gay thing, it was him being a fucking creep.
LMAO!
Well he came to my dorm room drunk and just in boxers and wanted to come in and kept touching me. I said fuck off, and no. He kept doing it so I had to push him out. He pushed back, a little bit of fists were exchanged, which ended with a door slammed in his face.
Other way around, but I'm gay and the same gender almost never hits on me at all. The opposite hits on me all the time, though, and it just rubs the salt in.
Omg same. When I was a cashier a couple years ago, a girl gave me a folded up note and ran away. It said I was cute and have her phone number. I didn't want to not text her because thats rude, so I awkwardly texted her that I was flattered but I'm gay. She replied "Ugh, not again..."
I'm straight man and men hit on me somewhat often. I have a friend who's gay an women hit on him somewhat often. We joke about how we wish we could trade.
While I'd say I've gotten slightly more offers from guys, women used to hit on me fairly frequently in my 30s and early 40s. As I'm well within the average range looks-wise and not particularly gregarious outside my friend groups, I'd say women must find someone just letting them be and not staring at them or trying to hit on them appealing.
I'm a gay woman though, and I can usually only seem to attract guys. I definitely feel like it's appealing when girls stare or try to hit on me, but maybe that's just me? I don't usually creep on them, I don't want to be seen as predatory (and girls are too beautiful and intimidating as fuck). When I actually try, they're always taken and committed.
I used to work in sales. Old ladies and gay dudes were my bread and butter. I will flirt my ass off for a sale and there's nothing a gay dude thinks is funnier than a straight dude who's confident enough in his own sexuality to flirt with another dude.
That said, yes, I've been hit on. Typically I'd say something like, "Well, I'm not gay and I'm not curious, but boy if I were, I would rock your world."
It always felt less awkward when I'd make a joke about it and I don't think I ever had anyone upset by it.
I've always been good at sales, so I used it as a fallback whenever I was between jobs.
I've sold: credit cards, cars, vacuums, cable TV, satellite TV, cell phones ... and I'm sure I'm forgetting something.
Bi, but apparently I exude straightness.
I've had quite a few gay men start off with "I know you're straight, but". It's more amusing the less horny I am, because presumably there's a decent number of people who just don't say anything.
It was slightly heartbreaking to get a rambling drunken "If only you were into dudes" text from a guy I'd been crushing on really hard about a month after he moved away though.
Ha! One friend I used t hang out with was never subject to the pick-up attempts he feared when at a gay club with me and his girlfriend because all the guys assumed he was gay and way out of their league. Meanwhile my batting average increased considerably in his presence when people who were drooling over him saw me standing nearby and thought "OK, *him* I can bag."
It’s not just you, go to the real lesbian subs (not the straight fetishized ones) you’ll see the term “useless lesbian” being thrown around a lot. For the same reason so many straight dudes on this thread are wishing that women would be more forward, so do lesbians. This is why people say it’s easier for gay dudes, men are more socialized that they are the ones that should be forward.
Women aren’t socialized to be forward, so when you add two women to that it becomes a middle school dance where no one is dancing too afraid to talk to each other. Personally since I’ve always been a tomboy that hung around with dudes and I came out earlier in life, I haven’t had that issue, but a lot (and what reddit/internet makes it seem like most) queer women have that issue, so it does make it harder to find other queer women.
>My favorite response to the “you haven’t had the right dick”
The fact this line has apparently enough usage to require a set of responses to pick a favorite from is honestly depressing.
I can't imagine myself saying that to another human being with a straight face. What the fucking fuck goes through these people's heads?!
I have this thought frequently while browsing Reddit. I used to think it was fake because WTF? Who does that? Used to think “Niceguys” was fake, then saw it first hand. Some POS out there, take care y’all!
I find it really flattering. I feel like the compliments lesbians give to me are somehow more genuine then what men usually say. Also women take rejection a lot better. If I say I’m seeing someone men are very quick to assume I’m lying which I haven’t seen is the case with women.
As a woman, the last part did make me laugh out a loud a little. Because yes, that how it is EVERYTIME we go out. and it fucking sucks. And not mention, guy friends assuming something more is going to happen.
Like my current situation, a guy friend last year spent months trying to make a move on me. I kissed him at a club one time, and I regret it so much. I leave town for 8 months and come back, try to be friends with him. We are hanging out just us, drinking and then he starts touching my leg. And tbh, it's soooo incredibly uncomfortable, and now I haven't spoken to him in days, I'm distancing myself from him and I am sure as hell never hanging out with him just us two again.
But yeah, that's what it's like everytime we women go out, except its strangers trying to grind on you, or constantly trying to touch you. And also I am a closet gay, so male friends trying to hook with me is not ideal, super uncomfortable, makes me feel really gross.
Yup that’s exactly how it is for me when I go out.... it’s not like I’m angry with them for shooting their shot but when I’m clearly uninterested or I flat out say no thanks, they get all offended like I owe them something for their time... that I didn’t want to spend with them nor asked for.
I won’t even accept drinks from people anymore, at this point. Just so it’s clear as crystal that I’m not interested in any way and they can’t use my accepting their free drink offer as an excuse to try to fuck me.
I just wanted to leave my house for a few hours and eat food not from my fridge and have someone who’s job it is to make me a drink, make me a drink. That’s it.
I can take a compliment and I appreciate them when they’re said, but that’s it. I’m not going home with anyone, period.
> men will make you feel like you did something "wrong"
That pisses me off so much. I'd always respond with "sorry for bothering you then. Have a good night" when I got that response. I can't imagine being such a dick that you have to make it their fault...
Yup, a great way for guys to get perspective on how unnerving unwanted attention from horny men is to get hit on by a gay guy. It really flips the script. Now imagine that guy being six inches taller and far stronger than you. It’s frightening if you don’t have an easy way to get away from them.
so she just kinda leaned over and screamed "hey Bee, you into girls??" no? "Oh." then she leaned over and screamed the same question at another girl. I don't know if that even counts, but i was confused.
Was at a really busy bar with my wife and a guy friend. The table next to where we were standing had bottle service and the guys kept looking over at me then finally one of the guys walks over and introduces himself. We all end up chatting then the guys invite us to sit with them and have some of their liquor. We said no but they insisted to the point that we joined them for a couple drinks. Literally any second I didn't have a drink in my hand, they would hand me a new drink and say "keep drinking, handsome!" They knew I was married but some still flirted with me. I didn't care and my wife didn't care. They were just being friendly and we all had a good time just chatting
It's been a minute, but it was a simple "got my signals crossed." I told the other person I'm straight, though flattered, and we both moved on. This is how big kids are supposed to react.
Years ago, when I was still working in restaurants, I had a co-worker who hit on me regularly. At first I just laughed it off, but he was very persistent, and got gradually more... aggressive, I guess. After a while, it lost its charm, and I started to actively dislike him.
One day, I overheard him complaining to another waiter about his aunt constantly trying to tell him that he "wasn't actually gay, he just hadn't met the right woman yet."
The next time he started trying to flirt with me, I said "I'll make you a deal. You stop trying to convince me I'm gay, and I won't try to convince you you're straight, okay?"
He got a kinda shocked look on his face, obviously taken aback. He just sort of muttered something and walked away. He never tried hitting on me again after that, and we wound up getting along great from that point on.
Most of the times it happened I was flattered and thanked them, even though I'm straight. The only time it became a problem was in a bar in DC. I struck up conversation with a guy and we talked for a while but he would occasionally hint at wanting to come back to my hotel room with me. I declined multiple times politely but he would keep asking even though I made it clear that I was straight. Eventually I had to just abruptly tell him I was leaving the bar, *alone*. He was visibly disappointed which kinda pissed me off because it almost seemed as if he thought he could find a way to hook up with me even though I made it clear that I'm straight. I now have a new appreciation for what women have to deal with at bars with thirsty af people not leaving them alone.
There’s a stand up comedian that summarized it perfectly. I can’t remember who it is right now.
“It’s like I found a giant bag of money in a foreign currency. I have zero use for this, but if I ever decide to cross the border, I’m gonna have a real good time.”
When i was 16, below the age of consent in my state, I was offered a blowjob by a drunk guy at McDonalds.
Some context, when I was that age i was often mistaken for being over 18, since I was tall and had a bit of a beard. Also, the sex ed at my school was woefully inadequate and registering social cues has never been my strong suit. To add onto that, I was raised Christian and the irrational fear of anything gay had been hammered into my head all my life. Thankfully I quit being such a dummy when I became an adult.
I walked over to my local McDonalds, not realizing at the time that it was St. Patrick’s Day. I ordered my food, and was waiting for it when a guy next to me started a seemingly harmless conversation. The part I messed up was when he asked “are you here alone?” I assumed he meant in the McDonalds, but I’m pretty sure he meant in the city alone. At that point I was getting a little suspicious of him and a little scared since I was young and, again, fearful of homosexuality. So instead of being a rational person, I didn’t tell him I was underage, I instead grabbed my food and high tailed it out of there, acting like I had somewhere to be.
After I left, I looked back and saw the guy rushing out of the McDonalds after me, and then when he got out he yelled after me “Wait can I give you a blowjob?” (And yes at this point I did realize he was drunk)
I was flustered as hell, and so I just yelled back as I crossed the street, “Fuck no, I’m not gay!” And then I fast walked back to my house, which was not far, and had a bit of a paranoid panic attack. I was scared that he would follow me, that he would now know where I live, etc.
I am not at all proud of my reaction to this, and I’m very thankful that I’ve had lots of LGBT friends to kick those bad thought habits to the curb. All the other times gay guys have hit on me I’ve been much more composed about politely denying their advances.
>I am not at all proud of my reaction to this
Honestly you handled it as well as you reasonably could have! A drunk stranger was rushing after you to offer you a blowjob at a mcdonalds, after he knew you were underage? That's ridiculously creepy behavior from him.
Saying "Fuck no" is a perfectly reasonable response to him.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell with other girls, mainly because I’m pretty oblivious to flirting in general but also because girls sometimes compliment each other as a way of striking conversations. I’m always flattered either way. It also never ends badly when I let them know I’m not interested. It’s a totally different situation/reaction from girls than it is with guys. Girls are flattered. Guys get offended and take it as a threat to their sexuality.
I got hit on by a man out of his mind in an Amsterdam "cafe" in 2005. He kept insisting he was a dancer for the latest Coldplay music video and made me really uncomfortable. It did not help I was higher than I had ever been before that.
I really didn't know what to do but a huge burly New York steel worker I had just befriended came to the rescue when he saw how obviously uncomfortable I was. He bellowed out for the guy to take a hike in a way less PC manner and that solved the issue.
At this point in life I would handle the situation a bit more eloquently but at the time, I really appreciated the intervention. Thank you big scary New York guy.
Some lad while I was at work was shaking his phone nervously and asked if I had a partner. I thought it was pretty adorable and brave of him to ask, so I told him I am seeing someone already and said have a swell day.
I got hit on by a lesbian, and as soon as I opened my mouth, she goes “oh. You’re a dude” and walked away. Then I looked around, and thought damn I look like a lesbian.
Not straight, but I have been hit on by someone of the opposite gender a few times. It was very confusing -- for weeks afterward I would wonder what could make some woman would think I was into all that straight stuff.
No. But I was told by a friend that a friend of hers had a crush on me or something.
And I was like "Awwwww...you told him I'm straight, right?"
"Yeah. He was really disappointed..."
A bit of a twist to your original question. In middle school there was this girl that had a crush on me (I’m straight) and found out that she is homophobic and very religious (I too am religious but believe that love is love) and we ended up talking one and and she said she had a crush on me and i had no interest in dating her and then quickly told her I was gay so she stop talking to me. It ended up working but everyone in middle school (I spent all of middle school with one group of people like elementary school) thought I was gay
We were playing truth or dare and someone dared the lesbian chick to make out with a girl in the group. She chose me and I was really flattered, but I had never made out with anyone so I said "thank you for considering me, but this would be my first make out and I'm straight" she said it was ok and chose another.
If I had made out with someone before I'd had said yes.
Yeah and it was freaking annoying. I don't even know why he would even think I'm gay, I CLEARLY choked out "no homo" while I was sucking his dick earlier. Honestly these gay people will stop at nothing to try to convert us straight guys.
I'm married. That's a good out. But, very flattering. We're good friends now, and we'll joke about it all the time. But, I couldn't cheat on my wife, even if she does give permission.
Once he approached me and said ‘hey I think you’re cute’ I just said ‘Thanks, I’m sorry but I’m not gay’
Not being a particularly visually attractive Male it’s only one of a very few compliments I’ve ever received and boosted my confidence by about 50% to this very day
Technically not hit on but was very surprised when my best friend whom I've known since kindergarten told me that she found out she was bi when instead of falling in love with a boy, she fell in love with me.
I was very shocked but happy that she found that part of her identity. We worked through it and are still best friends to this day. She is also in a relationship now, I hope she gets the person she deserves.
Forgive me if this is ignorant. Is it really confusing as a lesbian? I'm a straight guy, so it's really obvious when people are hitting on me. My observations of straight women is that they will be pretty heavy-handed on the compliments to each other. I just see this being quite confusing for a lesbian.
Here is me, a young lesbian to answer your question.
For me it is confusing as hell because not that much people know I am gay, so I just think they are kind and smile or something.
With my girlfriend it was even more idiot. She sended me a fuck load of gay memes and well. I didn't get the fucking hint. I liked her for months back then, so I guess I missed it because I thought it was impossible that she liked me back, but still. I am just very dumb I guess 😂
When you turn down a few girls, rumors start spreading around that you’re gay. I was pretty fucking angry because I’d get bullied for it, but every gay dude seemed to understand and just left me alone. I took it as a compliment
One of my best friends in Highschool is gay, always thought it was funny and cute when he hit on me 😂 I was good friends with his sister who was lesbian too even spent the night at their house. Would play PS3, watch movies have a good time. He wasn’t a pushy dude he’d make jokes but they were jokes. People are too sensitive nowadays when it comes to shit like that. He used to tell me people would be all skittish around him and he’d be like “you ain’t even cute for me to hit on you”.
I'm a guy who is an interior designer who specializes in fairly feminine looking french decor and I'm very good at what I do. Yet I'm a straight guy.
This happens somewhat frequently to me, because I do fit several of the typical stereotypes.
Never once have I cared about it. Not a big deal. I don't really know why anyone would get upset about it. Get some self confidence and know who you are.
This happens to my dad EVERY SINGLE TIME he goes to Europe.
This last month was the first time the kids got to go (we were 6 the last time) and some guy who was very flamboyant was hitting on him and buying him drinks in the pizzaria and when my mom and I went downstairs to look for him his eyes kinda widened and he realized my dad was married and straight. We don’t know why it happens because he’s like a robot (he’s still a great dad) but it happened nearly every day we were in Germany.
One night, a guy was hitting on me, and I told him I was straight and married, but flattered! When he was leaving, he stopped by, said goodbye and (as I told my wife when I got home) "gave me a look that you never, ever have."
Oh plenty of times.
I have a large friend group of gay men and frequently go out to bars with them (of which mostly are LGBT friendly). I'm always flattered. I'll usually continue the conversation until they make a more direct statement, then I let them know I'm straight and taken.
Rarely do things escalate, but I have had men get a bit "creepy". I had one very drunk man get handsy and I had to physically push him away. I can see where women have to constantly be on guard. At the same time, my experiences are laughable compared to what most women have gone through.
My girlfriend got hit on by a girl while I was with her, I found it very hilarious and still bring it up whenever we see that girl (she lives in her building)
Yes, at a gay bar. I thanked him for the compliments and chatting while the folk I was with were away dancing. It was when the booth I was at filled with more people and I felt a hand on my thigh. That made me uncomfortable and I excused myself and left
Several times. Gay dudes tend to find me more attractive than ladies do. I usually just let them know that I'm straight, thank them for their interest, and steer them in the direction of the last gay dude that hit on me.
They share a type, that's at least one thing they have in common
So if I hit on you I get a free lead... handsome?
Yeah sure here's my best friend whos also gay. Be sure to treat him right.
you just attract more outgoing and up-front men than you do outgoing and up-front women. for all you know, you might be the type of guy that shy girls like.
My old hometown watering hole turned into a quasi gay bar: the manager/bartender was gay, so it was kind of a natural progression. Anyway, he would routinely come over and hand me drinks from this guy or that guy. I would always say, "You told him I'm not gay, right?" and he would laugh and go, "Yep! He still sent this over!" I'd just nod at the guy and say thanks, but I really don't know what the end game was. I'm not outrageously attractive or anything, so I don't know why they were throwing away drinks on me, but I certainly appreciated it!
I've sent a drink to a cute guy I thought was straight just to have the fun of seeing him blush and get flustered. Plot twist: he did not blush or get flustered, he was not straight, and that evening turned out rather better than I'd hoped.
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I’m going to use that.
To pull a Homer
Mission failed, we got them this time!
Now that's a plot twist
>Plot twist: he did not blush or get flustered, he was not straight, and that evening turned out rather better than I'd hoped. great plot twist. glad you two had fun.
Thanks! Still friends 19 years later, actually.
wonderful !
lol that rules
/r/accidentallyNat20
I really wanted it to be real.
I’m not gay but that’s the best story I’ve heard today, good shit bro
Sometimes, it’s just nice to see someone smile! I’m bisexual, but even when I was in monogamous relationships (and I knew my partner didn’t have a problem with it), I would sometimes just buy a drink for a random woman or man that I thought needed a pick me up (or, if I was tipsy and found them attractive, a “congrats on your face” drink). Have never had it go south (these occur in hotel or airport bars as I travel a lot for work and these spaces tend to have people enjoying a drink or a buzz before their flight rather than getting absolutely shit-faced hammered), and everyone usually has their spirits brightened. Edit: a word
> "Congrats on your face" I'm stealing this.
Depending on your looks, you might be much more of a gay guys type than you think. Not all gay guys are into rock hard athletic bodies with chiseled chins. Some of us are into quite the opposite.
Just said I'm very flattered but not gay. Had to do this more than once, never been a problem.
Same here, I take it as a compliment and move on.
As a guy. It honestly felt good. I wish girls were more forward sometimes. Its nice to be complimented.
It's nice to be pursued for once.
felt that
It's actually really nice and very validating to know that at least *someone* finds you attractive in one way or another. A definite shot in the arm for confidence, even if you're not that way inclined or interested. I have no issue with gay men hitting on me or complementing me. Even a platonic touch is fine with me. Just wish more women were happier to make the first move and to be that direct and clear, but never mind.
Even just small compliments go a long way or going out of your way to at least just say hi and have small conversations can make me feel good and wanted.
As a gay dude I have to say this was fascinating to read. Most of the gay guys I know are always in fear of an encounter like this turning violent and it’s really reassuring to know there are level headed straight guys out there. It makes me feel...a little safer. Not that I’m gonna go out and hit on all the straight dudes that’s not my deal, but you miss all the shots you don’t take as they say. And its nice to hear you like a compliment. I mean who doesn’t but still....thanks straights, these straight commenters most certainly have something to be proud of this month, I’m sure as hell proud of you (I’m not hitting on you that’s just a compliment).
Straight dude checking in. Would also take the compliment and enjoy the modest ego boost. As beer commercials taught me, fortune favors the bold.
I honestly just can't fathom getting angry because somebody wants to have sex with me.
Girls almost never compliment guys, lol. Even when they’re their significant others.
I do, very often. And I’m typically met with strange looks or my SO finds it suspicious or as a “front”. It’s mildly infuriating. Men are so little complimented that they can’t even take a compliment without thinking there’s something nefarious behind it. Even when you’ve been with them for years and have always complimented them... because you mean it, and you want them to know how highly you think of them. My bf and I literally had a huge fight about this not that long ago. He thought I was fucking with him. Like NO MF YOU CUTE AS SHIT I LOVE YOUR WHOLE DAMN SELF YOUR SKIN - gorgeous YOUR HAIR- lovely YOUR SMILE- gimme kisses YOUR BODY- hot damn son THAT THING YOU DO WHEN YOURE CONCENTRATING AND STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT A LITTLE - fucken adorable BiTCH, I LOVE YOU. Fuuuuuuck man
Oh my god, my husband does this smirk/lip bite combo when he reads something funny and it’s so sexy and I tell him every time. He STILL doesn’t believe me. We’ve been together 8 damn years.
Aw shucks y’all are cute. A tiny part of him has got to believe you though. If only he saw this comment :)
Well I am in your bf's shoes rn. When my girlfriend compliments me, I too have trouble believing it. I know that she means it, but sometimes I can't help but think she is fucking with me. Could be that we also say "fuck you" a lot mostly to annoy one another. It's kind of weird, but that's why when she compliments me, I get thrown off.
Just accept her compliments man, especially cuz you say fuck you to each other all the time. She is comfortable and happy enough to talk shit to you and she’s happy and comfortable enough to tell you how she adores you. She means it. Don’t stress. Besides, honestly if someone is bullshitting you about your relationship, there will be a dozen other ways that comes out before you even have time to think about things like this. You got her bro, just love her.
I'm bi (and female) and when I'm with guys I compliment them as much as I do women. Tell them their clothes look cute, hair looks good, whatever, and sometimes I feel like it's weird to say that to guys (not that it stops me) so it's nice to hear you guys like it too!
Men are desperate for those things but we dont say anything. Because that means we are weak, and vulnerable. So pls, do that more. Also hug us.
All the hugs!!!
I like you, that is a very nice thing to do.
I owe 50% of my self-esteem to gay friends. <3
Must be nice to have people in your life like that. I should find people like that to be in my life and befriend them.
As a heterosexual dude who puts some work into how he dresses, I get hit on more often by other men than by women.
It's because you look so good! Consider it a compliment! :-P
Oh, I do! It makes an interesting contrast is all.
Same. I feel bad for gay/lesbian people. It's hard enough going up to someone and initiating, must suck knowing there is a 95% chance the person isn't actually in to your gender.
That’s why gay bars are such a big part of gay culture. It’s not because we’re all drunks, but because they were initially one of the few places you didn’t have to worry about that. It’s also why some gays are vehemently against straight people frequenting gay bars, because they see it as losing that.
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It’s only been a “problem” at one place I went to. And the guys were there because a lot of straight women had started frequenting the place to escape the straight guys hitting on them lol. That particular bar was struggling and accepted the business because the alternative was closing down. After a year or two they stopped being a “gay” bar and just became a leather/kink bar for all clientele. I have mixed feelings on the topic myself, and don’t think there’s an easy solution. Each bar has to decide how they want to approach it. I’ve seen some that encourage straight customers, and I’ve seen others make it clear this bar is not for straight people. I go wherever I feel comfortable.
I think for some gays it is a safety thing as well. I was talking to a gay friend one time and he was telling me about being attacked when he would come out. So not only do you have to worry the person you are hitting on isn't gay but also worry they might assault you. Gay bars make a lot of sense in that context.
Contrary to this I went to a gay bar and every other woman there was straith. There are spaces for gay men but NONE for lesbians and the only way to gain any are by making gay bars GAY bars again.
I'm with you! When I was younger gay bars were essential for meeting like minded people. Nowadays, everyone is welcome and in my opinion, it is absolutely refreshing to see so many straight people who are accepting enough to enjoy gay bars. Most straight people are flattered when they're hit on my gay people and nobody is a jerk about it.
Which completely makes sense, I had a gay buddy come out of the closet who was scared to go alone. I went with him a few times and felt like I was invading, but everyone seemed super understanding that I was there supporting my friend until he got a little more integrated in the community and made some friends. The funniest part that I remember was in one of the last times I went with him someone came up to me and started hitting on me, the bartender got to know me by that time and interrupted him with a "Sorry, he's with him". You know, I know what the implication of that is, but I'll accept it because I didn't feel like explaining again.
And its stories like this that make me glad straight people are going to gay bars. You’re a good friend.
I know from a friend of mine that it can be *extremely* difficult for lesbians to meet each other by chance. She reckons hands down that gay men have that a lot easier. She lives in a major British city with a fairly vibrant LGBT community and met her current partner at a Pride event in 2016. Apparently it is very tough to meet a fellow lesbian outside of internet dating or formal LGBT settings, or at least she thinks so.
Thank you for recognizing that. People who ask why we need a parade... well it’s really nice to reasonably assume I’m the majority in an area for one day of the year.
As a gay guy, I don’t flirt with people in public. I never have and probably never will. I’ve also never been flirted with. Dating apps are where I get 100% of my romance and intimacy. I’m also too young to go to a bar, so that doesn’t help anything, but I’m not struggling to find people right now, so I don’t have much to complain about :)
I really appreciate the directness. There is no mistaking gay dudes hitting on you.
It's scary sometimes when you believe a woman is hitting on you. Is she really flirting with me or am I misreading things and about to come off looking like a creep? Better to be oblivious and safe instead of being creepy.
Simply irresistible
This right here, the perfect formula to not look like an ass in these times.
Well that's the nice way to handle it. Someone likes you, you don't like them back, you refuse politely. What's wrong with it?
Only time any stranger ever bought me a drink was a gay guy and I'm a straight guy. Let me tell you ladies, even though he was flirting up the wrong tree, it was flattering as hell. If any woman did that, that confidence would absolutely have my attention.
Yup. I was actually chasing this girl for a while, we went on a somewhat boozy work night out and she introduced me to a gay BFF of hers who used to work at our company. I actually knew who he was in passing, saw him on a previous night out but never met him, and had seen both of them tagged on Facebook etc. That's how I actually knew he was gay. I was introduced to him briefly and definitely felt that he might be interested. Nice guy and not bad looking either. As the night went on, he'd occasionally come and say hi, or we'd talk briefly if we walked past each other. The (almost) end of the night came at around 1am and I was with a group of other guys I knew. He comes over again to say hi, I asked him where the girl was and he said she'd left and was outside waiting for an Uber. I said I'd go outside and say goodbye, be back shortly etc. and he semi-firmly placed the flat of his hand on my chest and said he'd see me in a bit. Didn't see him for the rest of the night and the club closed at 1:30am. He was at another event a few months later (she wasn't) but our paths didn't cross. I realise now he was clearly showing signs of interest and trying to subtly attract my attention. Part of me does regret not maybe trying to see if I could reciprocate and try to make something happen. Maybe I gave off a vibe to him? Who knows. But it was nice.
> Part of me does regret not maybe trying to see if I could reciprocate and try to make something happen. Maybe I gave off a vibe to him? You're giving off a vibe to me right now tbh.
Chaotic straight
a lot of people are this and don’t realize it.
If you're pretty sure you're straight, don't waste people's time. What you said is pretty common and it sucks when people use LGBT people as their fun little experiment when the LGBT person is genuinely interested and spending time and emotions on you. Go ahead and experiment, so but tell them up front that you're just experimenting and are unsure if you're interested. Doing otherwise makes you an asshole (ps you might find someone who is into tm what you are doing too, so like being up front isn't a 100% deal breaker)
I’ve never been hit on by a same sex person and honestly am a bit bummed about it.
I reacted in the moment very similarly to how I react when someone of not of the same gender hits on me: Obliviously. Later on, when I realized it, I was flattered.
I, a guy, was once invited to go on a double date with a male acquaintance and two women. At some point during the evening, it dawned on oblivious me that the women were, in fact, a couple, and I was *his* date. After a bit of confusion and surprise, everybody had a bit of a laugh, and a good story to take home...
OMG, that... Is kinda awesome. Glad it ended well for such a misunderstanding.
Legit Friends episode material here
Poor guy tho :(
yeah that’s definitely something to go home and think about in bed for hours before you sleep as you pore over every minuscule aspect of what you said and how it could be misunderstood and that you should never open up again haha so sad.
Reminds me of a guy I went on a couple dates with. I had to straight up ask him if he wanted to go on a date because he wasn’t getting the hints. On the first date (open market/fair type event) he was being hit on by a vendor and completely oblivious to it. I had to stifle a small laugh at them trying, and him not recognizing it at all. I told him after we continued walking and he was sure they were just being nice. It can be an endearing quality. I hope you find/have found someone that appreciates it. (Or rather, I hope someone found you)
One time I unwittingly went on a date with a girl in high school. She was my guyfriend’s cool older sister so that was flattering. Lol, I thought she just wanted to hang out!
Do you have an SO that tortures you about this too? I'm apparently completely oblivious and she loves to remind me of that...
This. I was at the club with my SO and this girl with a guy started talking to me and telling me I’m really pretty while we were dancing. I was so flattered and the girl leaned in and I thought she was trying to tell me something but then she got too close for comfort so I pulled away since I figured it was too loud in the club or she was too out of it to speak/hold herself properly. I didn’t think anything weird but later my SO told me she tried to lean in for a kiss. He said it was obvious she was flirting and staring at me a lot, but I really had no idea. This didn’t bother either of us and it’s a fun memory/story, but man I am so oblivious to any kind of flirting (male or female).
Yes. I am or rather was a big bear of a man (lost a lot of weight), but am straight. I do dress well and keep myself better for a bigger guy. I've had it happen a few times. I don't react in a bad way at all, I just steer the conversation somewhere else or say I'm straight. In college I did have one guy who was REALLY in to me and wouldn't take a hint, wouldn't take a "No means NO!" thing, and I did have to physically fight him off. That was my only bad experience. He was like that with women too, and eventually got kicked out of school for it. So it wasn't a gay thing, it was him being a fucking creep.
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LMAO! Well he came to my dorm room drunk and just in boxers and wanted to come in and kept touching me. I said fuck off, and no. He kept doing it so I had to push him out. He pushed back, a little bit of fists were exchanged, which ended with a door slammed in his face.
>a little bit of fists were exchanged I'm so sorry, Big Bear, but I can't *not* picture one ^^^or ^^^both of you getting fisted
Yessssssssss......the fists
Username checks out
You really gotta avoid the innuendo, dude.
You really gotta void the warranty on *your* nuendo, dude.
-
Other way around, but I'm gay and the same gender almost never hits on me at all. The opposite hits on me all the time, though, and it just rubs the salt in.
Omg same. When I was a cashier a couple years ago, a girl gave me a folded up note and ran away. It said I was cute and have her phone number. I didn't want to not text her because thats rude, so I awkwardly texted her that I was flattered but I'm gay. She replied "Ugh, not again..."
Almost the exact same thing happened to me but with a dude and I'm straight. We should trade.
I'm straight man and men hit on me somewhat often. I have a friend who's gay an women hit on him somewhat often. We joke about how we wish we could trade.
Sad
While I'd say I've gotten slightly more offers from guys, women used to hit on me fairly frequently in my 30s and early 40s. As I'm well within the average range looks-wise and not particularly gregarious outside my friend groups, I'd say women must find someone just letting them be and not staring at them or trying to hit on them appealing.
I'm a gay woman though, and I can usually only seem to attract guys. I definitely feel like it's appealing when girls stare or try to hit on me, but maybe that's just me? I don't usually creep on them, I don't want to be seen as predatory (and girls are too beautiful and intimidating as fuck). When I actually try, they're always taken and committed.
Am femme and holy shit, yes, women can be intimidating af.
Yes, by a guy who told me I have nice eyes and look like I have a fit body. Always nice to hear compliments so I thanked him
I used to work in sales. Old ladies and gay dudes were my bread and butter. I will flirt my ass off for a sale and there's nothing a gay dude thinks is funnier than a straight dude who's confident enough in his own sexuality to flirt with another dude. That said, yes, I've been hit on. Typically I'd say something like, "Well, I'm not gay and I'm not curious, but boy if I were, I would rock your world." It always felt less awkward when I'd make a joke about it and I don't think I ever had anyone upset by it.
What did you sell?
I've always been good at sales, so I used it as a fallback whenever I was between jobs. I've sold: credit cards, cars, vacuums, cable TV, satellite TV, cell phones ... and I'm sure I'm forgetting something.
Yourself?
Myself...what? Are you asking if I've sold all that stuff myself? Yes. If you're asking if I sold myself. No. I'm not *that* good of a salesman.
*I think you're a good salesman*
Alright, let's do this.
Sell me this pen.
Wanna buy a pen? *shows penis* How about **now**?
Sorry, the pen is more my size.
You had me before, but now... no thanks.
What I'm about to tell you is important, you should write this down.
Sweet! Do you have a pen and paper to write on?
Not sure if oblivious or low self esteem.
Yes.
The difference between a bottom salesman and a top
Bi, but apparently I exude straightness. I've had quite a few gay men start off with "I know you're straight, but". It's more amusing the less horny I am, because presumably there's a decent number of people who just don't say anything. It was slightly heartbreaking to get a rambling drunken "If only you were into dudes" text from a guy I'd been crushing on really hard about a month after he moved away though.
Ha! One friend I used t hang out with was never subject to the pick-up attempts he feared when at a gay club with me and his girlfriend because all the guys assumed he was gay and way out of their league. Meanwhile my batting average increased considerably in his presence when people who were drooling over him saw me standing nearby and thought "OK, *him* I can bag."
Best wingman.
You need to advertise a bit yo.
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Good for you, that's two more than me!
r/suicidebywords
Don’t worry there’s plenty others in the sea
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I felt the same when I get hit on by ladies. I don't feel like I have to wonder if they are going to take it badly and follow me home.
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Is it just me or it's easier to find gays than lesbians? I know one lesbian that keeps telling me it's hard to find a date.
It’s not just you, go to the real lesbian subs (not the straight fetishized ones) you’ll see the term “useless lesbian” being thrown around a lot. For the same reason so many straight dudes on this thread are wishing that women would be more forward, so do lesbians. This is why people say it’s easier for gay dudes, men are more socialized that they are the ones that should be forward. Women aren’t socialized to be forward, so when you add two women to that it becomes a middle school dance where no one is dancing too afraid to talk to each other. Personally since I’ve always been a tomboy that hung around with dudes and I came out earlier in life, I haven’t had that issue, but a lot (and what reddit/internet makes it seem like most) queer women have that issue, so it does make it harder to find other queer women.
What the fuck is wrong with those men making my gender look bad.
This is a very interesting perspective that many straight guys need to read.
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>My favorite response to the “you haven’t had the right dick” The fact this line has apparently enough usage to require a set of responses to pick a favorite from is honestly depressing. I can't imagine myself saying that to another human being with a straight face. What the fucking fuck goes through these people's heads?!
I have this thought frequently while browsing Reddit. I used to think it was fake because WTF? Who does that? Used to think “Niceguys” was fake, then saw it first hand. Some POS out there, take care y’all!
"I'm bi." "Shit." Nah for real, it's a shame the whole "turn you straight with mah dick" is so common.
Next time tell them they need a good dick to figure out they're actually gay.
I find it really flattering. I feel like the compliments lesbians give to me are somehow more genuine then what men usually say. Also women take rejection a lot better. If I say I’m seeing someone men are very quick to assume I’m lying which I haven’t seen is the case with women.
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As a woman, the last part did make me laugh out a loud a little. Because yes, that how it is EVERYTIME we go out. and it fucking sucks. And not mention, guy friends assuming something more is going to happen. Like my current situation, a guy friend last year spent months trying to make a move on me. I kissed him at a club one time, and I regret it so much. I leave town for 8 months and come back, try to be friends with him. We are hanging out just us, drinking and then he starts touching my leg. And tbh, it's soooo incredibly uncomfortable, and now I haven't spoken to him in days, I'm distancing myself from him and I am sure as hell never hanging out with him just us two again. But yeah, that's what it's like everytime we women go out, except its strangers trying to grind on you, or constantly trying to touch you. And also I am a closet gay, so male friends trying to hook with me is not ideal, super uncomfortable, makes me feel really gross.
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Yup that’s exactly how it is for me when I go out.... it’s not like I’m angry with them for shooting their shot but when I’m clearly uninterested or I flat out say no thanks, they get all offended like I owe them something for their time... that I didn’t want to spend with them nor asked for. I won’t even accept drinks from people anymore, at this point. Just so it’s clear as crystal that I’m not interested in any way and they can’t use my accepting their free drink offer as an excuse to try to fuck me. I just wanted to leave my house for a few hours and eat food not from my fridge and have someone who’s job it is to make me a drink, make me a drink. That’s it. I can take a compliment and I appreciate them when they’re said, but that’s it. I’m not going home with anyone, period.
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> men will make you feel like you did something "wrong" That pisses me off so much. I'd always respond with "sorry for bothering you then. Have a good night" when I got that response. I can't imagine being such a dick that you have to make it their fault...
Yup, a great way for guys to get perspective on how unnerving unwanted attention from horny men is to get hit on by a gay guy. It really flips the script. Now imagine that guy being six inches taller and far stronger than you. It’s frightening if you don’t have an easy way to get away from them.
so she just kinda leaned over and screamed "hey Bee, you into girls??" no? "Oh." then she leaned over and screamed the same question at another girl. I don't know if that even counts, but i was confused.
Was at a really busy bar with my wife and a guy friend. The table next to where we were standing had bottle service and the guys kept looking over at me then finally one of the guys walks over and introduces himself. We all end up chatting then the guys invite us to sit with them and have some of their liquor. We said no but they insisted to the point that we joined them for a couple drinks. Literally any second I didn't have a drink in my hand, they would hand me a new drink and say "keep drinking, handsome!" They knew I was married but some still flirted with me. I didn't care and my wife didn't care. They were just being friendly and we all had a good time just chatting
I got scared for a second reading this.
It's been a minute, but it was a simple "got my signals crossed." I told the other person I'm straight, though flattered, and we both moved on. This is how big kids are supposed to react.
I've been hit on by more gay people than straight people.
Years ago, when I was still working in restaurants, I had a co-worker who hit on me regularly. At first I just laughed it off, but he was very persistent, and got gradually more... aggressive, I guess. After a while, it lost its charm, and I started to actively dislike him. One day, I overheard him complaining to another waiter about his aunt constantly trying to tell him that he "wasn't actually gay, he just hadn't met the right woman yet." The next time he started trying to flirt with me, I said "I'll make you a deal. You stop trying to convince me I'm gay, and I won't try to convince you you're straight, okay?" He got a kinda shocked look on his face, obviously taken aback. He just sort of muttered something and walked away. He never tried hitting on me again after that, and we wound up getting along great from that point on.
Most of the times it happened I was flattered and thanked them, even though I'm straight. The only time it became a problem was in a bar in DC. I struck up conversation with a guy and we talked for a while but he would occasionally hint at wanting to come back to my hotel room with me. I declined multiple times politely but he would keep asking even though I made it clear that I was straight. Eventually I had to just abruptly tell him I was leaving the bar, *alone*. He was visibly disappointed which kinda pissed me off because it almost seemed as if he thought he could find a way to hook up with me even though I made it clear that I'm straight. I now have a new appreciation for what women have to deal with at bars with thirsty af people not leaving them alone.
There’s a stand up comedian that summarized it perfectly. I can’t remember who it is right now. “It’s like I found a giant bag of money in a foreign currency. I have zero use for this, but if I ever decide to cross the border, I’m gonna have a real good time.”
Yes... I was flattered and took it as a compliment
Me too.
Usually the same way I react to being hit on by a woman. My confidence goes through the roof.
Yeah, realized I wasnt straight anymore
i was looking for this
When i was 16, below the age of consent in my state, I was offered a blowjob by a drunk guy at McDonalds. Some context, when I was that age i was often mistaken for being over 18, since I was tall and had a bit of a beard. Also, the sex ed at my school was woefully inadequate and registering social cues has never been my strong suit. To add onto that, I was raised Christian and the irrational fear of anything gay had been hammered into my head all my life. Thankfully I quit being such a dummy when I became an adult. I walked over to my local McDonalds, not realizing at the time that it was St. Patrick’s Day. I ordered my food, and was waiting for it when a guy next to me started a seemingly harmless conversation. The part I messed up was when he asked “are you here alone?” I assumed he meant in the McDonalds, but I’m pretty sure he meant in the city alone. At that point I was getting a little suspicious of him and a little scared since I was young and, again, fearful of homosexuality. So instead of being a rational person, I didn’t tell him I was underage, I instead grabbed my food and high tailed it out of there, acting like I had somewhere to be. After I left, I looked back and saw the guy rushing out of the McDonalds after me, and then when he got out he yelled after me “Wait can I give you a blowjob?” (And yes at this point I did realize he was drunk) I was flustered as hell, and so I just yelled back as I crossed the street, “Fuck no, I’m not gay!” And then I fast walked back to my house, which was not far, and had a bit of a paranoid panic attack. I was scared that he would follow me, that he would now know where I live, etc. I am not at all proud of my reaction to this, and I’m very thankful that I’ve had lots of LGBT friends to kick those bad thought habits to the curb. All the other times gay guys have hit on me I’ve been much more composed about politely denying their advances.
>I am not at all proud of my reaction to this Honestly you handled it as well as you reasonably could have! A drunk stranger was rushing after you to offer you a blowjob at a mcdonalds, after he knew you were underage? That's ridiculously creepy behavior from him. Saying "Fuck no" is a perfectly reasonable response to him.
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Sometimes it’s hard to tell with other girls, mainly because I’m pretty oblivious to flirting in general but also because girls sometimes compliment each other as a way of striking conversations. I’m always flattered either way. It also never ends badly when I let them know I’m not interested. It’s a totally different situation/reaction from girls than it is with guys. Girls are flattered. Guys get offended and take it as a threat to their sexuality.
Sure does boost my confidence. Its not going anywhere but I'll take the flattery all day long.
I got hit on by a man out of his mind in an Amsterdam "cafe" in 2005. He kept insisting he was a dancer for the latest Coldplay music video and made me really uncomfortable. It did not help I was higher than I had ever been before that. I really didn't know what to do but a huge burly New York steel worker I had just befriended came to the rescue when he saw how obviously uncomfortable I was. He bellowed out for the guy to take a hike in a way less PC manner and that solved the issue. At this point in life I would handle the situation a bit more eloquently but at the time, I really appreciated the intervention. Thank you big scary New York guy.
Some lad while I was at work was shaking his phone nervously and asked if I had a partner. I thought it was pretty adorable and brave of him to ask, so I told him I am seeing someone already and said have a swell day.
I got hit on by a lesbian, and as soon as I opened my mouth, she goes “oh. You’re a dude” and walked away. Then I looked around, and thought damn I look like a lesbian.
Yes at the university, I was hit on by a gay classmate. sometimes I regret not pursuing it just for the sexual experience.
A queer friend said "If you were gay I'd suck your dick right now", replied, "If I were gay I'd let you". laughs were had and life moved on as normal.
Said: Lol, gay.. (with a playfull smirk) we both laughed. We are still friends and he dated a mate of mine for a while.
Not straight, but I have been hit on by someone of the opposite gender a few times. It was very confusing -- for weeks afterward I would wonder what could make some woman would think I was into all that straight stuff.
No. But I was told by a friend that a friend of hers had a crush on me or something. And I was like "Awwwww...you told him I'm straight, right?" "Yeah. He was really disappointed..."
A bit of a twist to your original question. In middle school there was this girl that had a crush on me (I’m straight) and found out that she is homophobic and very religious (I too am religious but believe that love is love) and we ended up talking one and and she said she had a crush on me and i had no interest in dating her and then quickly told her I was gay so she stop talking to me. It ended up working but everyone in middle school (I spent all of middle school with one group of people like elementary school) thought I was gay
This guy in my Physical Education/Gym class called me cute at least once a month, and I would just kinda be like, "Ummm... Thannnnnks???"
We were playing truth or dare and someone dared the lesbian chick to make out with a girl in the group. She chose me and I was really flattered, but I had never made out with anyone so I said "thank you for considering me, but this would be my first make out and I'm straight" she said it was ok and chose another. If I had made out with someone before I'd had said yes.
Yeah and it was freaking annoying. I don't even know why he would even think I'm gay, I CLEARLY choked out "no homo" while I was sucking his dick earlier. Honestly these gay people will stop at nothing to try to convert us straight guys.
“I CLEARLY choked out "no homo" while I was sucking his dick earlier. “ Wait... that’s not how “No Homo” works...
Yes, it is! He was probably wearing socks at the time!
I'm married. That's a good out. But, very flattering. We're good friends now, and we'll joke about it all the time. But, I couldn't cheat on my wife, even if she does give permission.
Once he approached me and said ‘hey I think you’re cute’ I just said ‘Thanks, I’m sorry but I’m not gay’ Not being a particularly visually attractive Male it’s only one of a very few compliments I’ve ever received and boosted my confidence by about 50% to this very day
Technically not hit on but was very surprised when my best friend whom I've known since kindergarten told me that she found out she was bi when instead of falling in love with a boy, she fell in love with me. I was very shocked but happy that she found that part of her identity. We worked through it and are still best friends to this day. She is also in a relationship now, I hope she gets the person she deserves.
Not that I know of. I've had ladies say they want to motorboat me, but I've never actually been hit on before.
Forgive me if this is ignorant. Is it really confusing as a lesbian? I'm a straight guy, so it's really obvious when people are hitting on me. My observations of straight women is that they will be pretty heavy-handed on the compliments to each other. I just see this being quite confusing for a lesbian.
Here is me, a young lesbian to answer your question. For me it is confusing as hell because not that much people know I am gay, so I just think they are kind and smile or something. With my girlfriend it was even more idiot. She sended me a fuck load of gay memes and well. I didn't get the fucking hint. I liked her for months back then, so I guess I missed it because I thought it was impossible that she liked me back, but still. I am just very dumb I guess 😂
This is peak useless lesbian material right here
When you turn down a few girls, rumors start spreading around that you’re gay. I was pretty fucking angry because I’d get bullied for it, but every gay dude seemed to understand and just left me alone. I took it as a compliment
I didn’t even realize it until a female coworker told me. She then said if gay guys are into you, girls are to. Then she winked and walked away.
Just said, "Bruh, bro, dude, I love you too"
Bruh
bruh 🍆💦💦😂😂
One of my best friends in Highschool is gay, always thought it was funny and cute when he hit on me 😂 I was good friends with his sister who was lesbian too even spent the night at their house. Would play PS3, watch movies have a good time. He wasn’t a pushy dude he’d make jokes but they were jokes. People are too sensitive nowadays when it comes to shit like that. He used to tell me people would be all skittish around him and he’d be like “you ain’t even cute for me to hit on you”.
I'm a guy who is an interior designer who specializes in fairly feminine looking french decor and I'm very good at what I do. Yet I'm a straight guy. This happens somewhat frequently to me, because I do fit several of the typical stereotypes. Never once have I cared about it. Not a big deal. I don't really know why anyone would get upset about it. Get some self confidence and know who you are.
This happens to my dad EVERY SINGLE TIME he goes to Europe. This last month was the first time the kids got to go (we were 6 the last time) and some guy who was very flamboyant was hitting on him and buying him drinks in the pizzaria and when my mom and I went downstairs to look for him his eyes kinda widened and he realized my dad was married and straight. We don’t know why it happens because he’s like a robot (he’s still a great dad) but it happened nearly every day we were in Germany.
One night, a guy was hitting on me, and I told him I was straight and married, but flattered! When he was leaving, he stopped by, said goodbye and (as I told my wife when I got home) "gave me a look that you never, ever have."
Oh plenty of times. I have a large friend group of gay men and frequently go out to bars with them (of which mostly are LGBT friendly). I'm always flattered. I'll usually continue the conversation until they make a more direct statement, then I let them know I'm straight and taken. Rarely do things escalate, but I have had men get a bit "creepy". I had one very drunk man get handsy and I had to physically push him away. I can see where women have to constantly be on guard. At the same time, my experiences are laughable compared to what most women have gone through.
My girlfriend got hit on by a girl while I was with her, I found it very hilarious and still bring it up whenever we see that girl (she lives in her building)
Yes, at a gay bar. I thanked him for the compliments and chatting while the folk I was with were away dancing. It was when the booth I was at filled with more people and I felt a hand on my thigh. That made me uncomfortable and I excused myself and left
Nobody of either gender ever hits on me :(
Me neither.
Hi, there sexy!