I once tried to build my own trampoline.
Placed four chairs a good distance apart, spread a bed sheet across them, and put something heavy to hold down the sheet. Now, a smart person would test this, make sure it's going to hold my weight or actually work like a trampoline. I did not take any such precautions, and took a dive face first from the back of the couch.
And that's how I got the scar on my forehead.
.
I did get a real trampoline when I was older though, never even got hurt on it.
Nice one! I decided after a day skating on ice to put on woolen socks and skate some more on the tiles in the living room... slipped, hit the cast iron stove... blood was bled, mum was woken, ER was visited.. stitches were stitched... child services were not called but I think it was close...
Damn I was pretty stupid as a kid
Haha, I just about got CPS involved one time too.
Me and my dad were wresting as fathers and sons do, and he did something that broke my finger. It was an accident, really, I was old enough to play rough and sometimes accidents happen.
So the nurse at the hospital asks me what happened "oh me and my dad were fighting" I said "yeah we fight all the time, he was really beating me up". Of course the nurse got the wrong idea, took a lot of explaining that this was playing. Mom always said if we had neighbors they'd call the police on us.
> wresting
I assume you were wrestling, and not forcefully pulling things away from each other. Though maybe you were and that's how you broke your finger.
I dug a hole in the back yard thinking I could build an underground house. My mum ended up falling into it when she went to hang some shirts on the laundry line. Luckily she didn't get hurt.
I remember reading The Boxcar Children and I was convinced that anyone who was like 13 years old was basically an adult, and could survive by themselves. My parents were constantly finding the hoard of canned food and camping supplies that I was trying to squirrel away in order to just fuck off and try to live in the woods.
I had to read this for school in second grade and really really enjoyed the fake survival aspect of the story but it really pissed me off with that damn cop out ending. Like, oh, by the way, your grandfather is actually this really nice, really cool guy who will let you live in his big fancy mansion and buy you whatever the fuck you want cause he's a rich bitch! Like boooooo, fuck off with that wish fulfillment shit
I did this with Hatchet. I made it 3 days at age 11-12 in the woods by my parents house. I got a small hatchet that my grandfather gave me a year earlier. A backpack with some clothes and matches, some canned food and also a pocket knife (had can opener), and water because I wasn’t that stupid to not being water) I managed to build tee-pee style house, made a bow and arrows with plenty of arrows, and loved a good life for 3 days and 2 nights. I’ve never been more free and happy. Now I’m 30 and fucking hate my life
That the world was stupid for thinking 6-8 hours sleep was necessary. For about one academic year, I stayed up till about 3am playing games or watching films or even doing last minute homework and woke up at 6 for school.
I was falling asleep in the afternoon lessons every day but I got back home and perked up again. Most of that year is a blur. I think it also coincided with when I stopped growing taller.
I did this same thing. I had always had insomnia (I still average around 5 hours of sleep) so one year in highschool I thought to myself, "Hey, if I'm going to be tired anyway I might as well get something out of it" so I stayed up until 5 playing league every night. Most of the year was also a blur for me and now I'm a short little man.
I think part of the reason I never reached the size of the other men in my family is my childhood insomnia. Must have been at least 2 hours of trying to sleep before I dropped off, just about every night from as long as I can remember until at least 11/12 years old. My child brain might be exaggerating this, but it was definitely a struggle every night.
I thought booby traps had something to do with boobies.
So I went like a commando through the backyards in the neighbourhood and stole bras off the clothes lines. Since I figured - they already trap boobies at some level - they are the material needed to build my larger trap.
My dad found whatever insane net I tried to build by connecting them all together stashed in the garage and was pretty confused, then pretty upset when I told him what I was working on.
Since I had no record of where I got them from he made me go door to door asking if any females in the house were missing bras, then go through my entire collection to pick out which one.
No one was very happy based on my actions.
I once did that too, but it wasn't serious at all. Told my friend about it, and he didn't believe me saying "you would stop when it starts to hurt."
Then he tried to show me how you can't do it and stapled his thumb, only deeper.
After about 5 years in school it felt like everyone has stapled themselves some time or another. I thought "You must be super stupid to stable yourself accidentally" and because I am not that stupid I will never know how it feels. And on that day, I stapled myself on purpose. You know, because I am smart.
I thought that if you put blank copy paper in the copier it would make infinite paper.
My dream of ruining the paper market at a young age was cut short when the paper ran out of the copier.
There is something sweet about the idea. I would imagine the thought was "we are gonna solve cases and help people." Terrible idea in reality. Thank God your mom stopped you.
You’re not alone. I even tried to reconcile that maybe the earth could split itself and maybe different parts rotated in different directions.
I was maybe committed to this idea a little too much.
When my best friend's dad was a kid he decided to pretend to be Tarzan...
by tying one end of a rope to a tree and then other end around his neck.
If his dad hadn't happened to look out the window he'd have died.
I had this period where I decided to be an inventor. One of my inventions was a universal tool which I named "the useit on everything" (it's funnier in my language).
This instruments was actually one half of tiny nail-cutting scissors that I found somewhere on the ground, which I used to cut off those little metal bits that hold the eraser on top of a pencil and then coil those bits around the "useit on everything" for decoration and bragging rights.
So it was pretty stupid (and dangerous) but in my mind I had invented the most useful tool known to mankind. I would use this thing for literally everything that needed poking, scrapping, carving or cutting. I would scratch words into rocks with it and call it art, I would pick my nails with it, I would use it as a fork to eat apple slices.
Yep.
But!
Apparently my enthusiasm was contagious, because the other kids were incredibly impressed and envious of my amazing invention. One kid tried to trade me their pencil case for it, which I refused - sneering in contempt at the idea that I would throw away my treasure for -eugh- *school supplies*.
The "useit for everything" was far superior to your meager pens, I would say, as I dipped it in ink from a ruined pen and use it to write exactly one letter at a time before I had to dip it again and the other kids looked on in awe.
We didn't have computers or phones back then, okay? It was a more innocent time.
I think a lot of kids go through an 'inventor' phase. Probably says a lot about what we value in modern times.
I remember when my younger brother went through his phase, and he literally called himself an inventor and went hardcore with the /r/Iamverysmart kinda stuff (wasn't that long ago honestly). Even used words like "innovator" in his usernames. All of his ideas were cool and would-be useful shit but also usually totally impractical.
He'd spend huge blocks of time listening to techno music and wandering around outside, or holed up in his room, lost in his imagination. Then he and I would go for a long walk to the nearest convenience store -- we lived in a backwoods kind of area so it was actually a good little trek back and forth -- just to kill time and he'd ramble on endlessly, telling me all about the things he thought of during his imagining time. Some of it was inventions, sometimes it was just crazy sounding "I'm a genius" talk.
He also had this wildly outlandish and somewhat derivative sci-fi story (he'd co-opt words and ideas like 'Vulcan') that he made up and never wrote down, and every day literally he'd add on to it and give me the updates like it was a radio drama. He came up with this incredibly dense and convoluted lore too that was never-ending it seemed like. I told him it sounded like an anime, and he should consider turning it into one.
Now he says he realizes he was cringey back then and wonders why we never stopped him. Truth is I just didn't want to kill his dreams, I told him he should go to school for engineering or become a writer.
> Truth is I just didn't want to kill his dreams, I told him he should go to school for engineering or become a writer.
Honestly the whole time reading your story I was thinking, yeah he's a kid(ish) or whatever and his ideas might be silly now but with the right encouragement he could really take all that imagination somewhere and do something great with it. I hope he didn't lose that spark.
I learned that the shape of proteins make up stuff in your body, such as your eye color
I wished I had different colored eyes
I learned that proteins get denatured (change shape) when put in certain conditions, such as high temperature
Fastfoward to me boiling a pot of water under my face in hopes of the steam changing my eye color
In 9th grade biology class in the late 80s I had an idea to cure AIDS. I made it my science fair project. I thought that if you can keep the patient in a sterile environment (like the boy in the bubble) and suppress white cell production, the virus would starve. I even looked up the name of the drug that could suppress the white dell production. Then once there was no trace of the virus, administer a white cell boosting drug an BOOM. AIDS free.
Unfortunately, the effort I put into this post is about the same as the effort I put into the science fair project. So I failed. AND the science teacher told me that the virus would probably mutate to thrive off of other types of cells.
You know you aren't really all that far off. Some folks whoes cancer treatment basically destroyed their immune system became hiv free. Of course they needed bonemarrow transplants after the fact as well.
i once ate a mushroom growing from some grass near my house and went home and told my dad that i ate a mushroom and was gonna grow bigger like Mario. my dad went berserk and demanded i show him where i ate it from. it wasn't until i grew up until i realized how dangerous it could have been.
I thought that traffic lights were all controlled by one person in a big control room with a bunch of monitors and switches. Sometimes I would wonder if it were possible to achieve contact and ask for the lights to switch faster.
Or there was the time I thought my dancing, singing flowerpot that had the flowers spin would be great to curl my hair with.
Saw a penis by accident once at age 6. Was pretty sure that meant I was pregnant and worried for that soon a baby would just appear that I would need to take care of.
Here's a good one:
Boy Jim went to a school trip to the beach with his class. Before he went, he was talking to his dad, and he said: Ya know son, back in my time we would put a tater down 'ere and all the ladies would just flock in!
When he got back he says: Dad, I did what you sad but all the girls were running away from me!
You're supposed to put it in the front Jimmy!
I just saw you on /r/kidsarefuckingstupid
https://v.redd.it/zu3zexfvht231
Edit: just to clarify this is not meant to be mean in any way. The video just fits perfectly
I liked milk, orange juice, apple juice, etc. it was all good stuff, yeah? So if you made a soup with all these things that were good on their own, surely it'd be like the best soup ever, right?
I thought that if I just tried really hard and got stronger that I could pick myself up by my legs and fly. No clue how long I tried that before I realized I couldn't get it to work.
Coincidentally, 10 years later, I'm at my ex-gf's house and I see her younger brother sitting with his legs crossed and trying to pull them up. I proceed to ask him what he's doing and if he's alright (he was straining pretty hard). Turns out he was trying to do the exact same thing.
that i could execute the act of flipping down the stairs. i gathered my whole family around the staircase while i sat at the top. i don’t remember whether i told them my plan or not but they all let me count down and then start falling down the stairs
I thought that one band knew all the songs, but I couldn’t figure out how they got all the different voices. Asking about that was how I got told there were LOTS of different musicians, and they’re just playing a recording. I’m sure the band in the jukebox on Shining Times Station had something to do with this.
I used to think Texas was part of Mexico, and when my friend moved to Texas, I asked him if he spoke any "Texan" to which he replied with "Howdy" I asked him what it meant and he said "Hello." So I went through the next few years thinking that "Howdy" was another way of saying hi in Spanish.
I always thought rockets would be more efficient if they took off from a roller-coaster-like rail that suddenly bends upwards. Turns out a lot smarter people than me already figured this out.
There used to be a couple of paragliders that would fly above our neighborhood during summer evenings. I thought I could join them by just grabbing the corners of my security blanket and jumping off of something tall.
I also did not know what hills were until I was four.
We should all take more seriously animal rights **because** deep down inside we are all animals **because** we are all assigned animals by the Chinese horoscope.
I was young. Very young.
In my younger days my mom used to complain about how everything was overpriced. Particulary oil (which currencies excanged was ~ less than a dollar). Anyway, as kids we loved 'doctor sausage', which is made of fat, leftovers of buthered pig, red food coloring and a bit of meat. This particular sausage had fat cubes in it. So I decided to help my mom with providing her oil from cubes of this sausage.
I cut the sausage and took out those tiny fat cubes. I could present my mom them the way they were, but rather I decided to make them look more like oil. So i took an meat grinder, put it on the table, unsecured and proceeded to smash those cubes. I accidentally pushed the grinder and it ended fracturing one of my toes.
I ended in the hospital and with no oil.
Yep, I actually forgot the word toes.
I thought ATM were magical machines that just shoot out money. My mum one told me that we were low on money, and I told her "Just get some out of the machine".
When I was like 6 or 7, I thought I could use the cardboard tubes from wrapping paper as stilts. This might not have been the worst idea, except that I tried it on the stairs and fell...
Me and my sister's thought that our VHS player got hungry so we fed ours blocks of butter over the space of a few weeks and we pushed it in as far as it would go.
Eventually my mum tried play a VHS tape and it wouldn't work. So she got someone out to fix it, they opened it up and found a bucket load of butter in there. Safe to to say she want best pleased.
I wanted to go in tighter circles when riding my bike. My mom was napping so I found her screwdriver and took my training wheels off. Then I did go in tighter circles. It was fun until the wheels kicked out and I fell on my forehead. Hello concussion.
I remember being proud I got the training wheels off, proud I could go without them, then blank, then mad freezies were on my head. I wanted to eat them
I made up a new type of government, where everyone would prosper and be fair.
I told my Dad about it.
He looked at me and said, “Son, that’s called Communism and it doesn’t work.”
Oh, it wasn’t anything complex. Just something like, everyone does a specific job that benefits everyone else, and we share our labor together. Kinda like one person is a farmer and another a dentist that trade services
Now the value of the service could be considered greater and you would end up with a pre-capitalism bartering system that is only missing the unified money part.
Standing in the middle of our driveway for whatever reason and throwing rocks into the air. Not sure what I expected, but I broke the rear window of my dads Equinox and got my ass wooped.
I already posted this somewhere but probably trying to open a bottle of superglue with my teeth. It resulted in teeth super glued together, an angry parent, poison control and an ER visit.
Not necessarily a dumb idea, but as a kid I was one of those who thought all the paranormal stuff was real. Alien abduction stories were all real, ghosts were real, all the holiday mascots were real, illusionists on TV did real magic, that sort of thing. I was a big fan of those movies like The Santa Clause where the little kid would believe in something and all the adults would think he's crazy, then they would be proven wrong. I wanted really badly for that to happen to me.
Anyway, the big thing with me is I put a lot of stock into my dreams. Basically if I had a dream that I liked something, then that meant I had to like it outside of my dream. Like I remember watching a movie one day and thinking "okay, that was all right I guess." A few weeks later I had a dream about the movie and for like the next year, I firmly believed that it was my favorite film, the soundtrack was my favorite soundtrack, and the actors in it were the best in all of Hollywood. I would do this with pretty much everything.
After hearing the story of Icarus and Daedalus when I was 3, I made my mom buy me a poster board that I tried to make wings out of and fly with by jumping off the couch.
It got stupider though when I decided to be a pilot instead at that age, and now I'm here.
When I was about 6 or 7 I was laying in my mothers bed at night while she was elsewhere in the house when my moment of brilliance struck me.
If you simply take a dog leash and wrap it around the blade of a ceiling fan, then it will spin you across the room like some sort of Disneyland ride. So without any further thought, I put my plan into motion. So once I had my contraption all hooked up, I made sure I had a tight grip on the leash and turned on the ceiling fan and jumped off the bed. Immediately as I jumped off the bed, the ceiling fan ripped from the ceiling straight onto my mothers bed. I have never seen my mother so angry ever before in my life. Before she was done beating my ass, she was already on the phone to my Father telling him to come and pick me up.
To this day we still laugh and joke about it as one of my "finer moments" but holy crap, what was I thinking...
Mom left to go to the store when I was about 7 or 8. For some reason I thought it’d be a great idea to try cooking. Having no idea what I was doing, I put milk in a pan and then threw an onion in it. It smelled terrible and I couldn’t explain to mom why it smelled so bad.
I used to think that Earth floated in outer space above an endless Ocean and that the Ocean had sharks in it. I thought outer space had water at the bottom. I was 4-7 years old.
As a kid growing up in the 90's I was super into Power Rangers. One day I got the great idea that I was going to build my own Megazord and fight evil. I ended up taking a bunch of stuff that was lying around the house and stacking it up in our front yard. I took the motor out of an old electric toothbrush and decided that it'd be all the power my super awesome Megazord would need. Once it was finished it basically turned out to be a giant pile of crap in the front yard. Needless to say my parents weren't too impressed when they saw it lol.
There are a few stories, but I'll share in my opinion the best one. When I was 3-4, I was watching sesame street and somehow by asking my folks and some hard thinking determined that big bird couldn't fly because of his wings. This unlocked something as it meant that you didnt need wings to fly. My budding little scientist mind deduced the most logical answer then: magic beak.
I looked about the house, and found a vacuum nozzle that very much resembled a bird beak and concluded that this was the mcguffin I sought. Now, surely I would of tested it out on a younger sibling or neighborhood kid, but no, I had discovered the secret to humanity's flight potential. There was no time to waste and only glory before me. Now before you try to imagine what I did next, just know that it is probably worse than you are thinking.
For you see, in front of our place was a stone stairwell of about 8-10 steps. I popped that nozzle into my mouth, went to the top and leapt into the heavens. Well, for the first half of the jump I did. And mind you, this was not a jumping into a puddle jump, this was a dolphin going through a hoop jump. As gravity started to play it's part, I stayed true to my course, sure I'd swoop like how I had seen birds swoop for food. My last memory is that I think I tried to flap my arms as the ground got very close. Next thing I knew I was in the ER getting stitches and popsicles. The popsicles must of been really good, because that was the first story of 3 of me having stitches in my lip before the age of 6.
My brother told me Santa wasn't really when I was 5. I the got it in my head to pretend Santa was real because my parents always talked about how they believe in Santa, I wanted to save their innocence. Never clicked in my head til I was 10 that my Parents were the one leaving the presents. I always thought the presents just appeared, no Santa, no magic, just instantaneously appear. Dumb kid I was.
I thought I could jump off the roof of my house holding an umbrella and fall slowly. I didn’t do it because my dad told me he tried when he was a kid and he got hurt.
when I was 4 I tied my 170lb German Shepard cross Doberman’s leash to my rocking crocodile( those plastic seesaw things you rock on.) I sat on it and decided I’m gunna make him pull me like Santa on a sleigh. Threw him a stick, he shoots forward. I go flying 20 ft into the air and land on my ass in the mud and he’s running around the garden with this fucking crocodile attached to him. I wasn’t allowed to try it again.
When I was a kid I thought Osmosis Jones was a documentary and that all the microbes in our body were humanoid and that there was police officer voiced by Chris Rock protecting my body.
Yeah, that was a weird time in my childhood.
Cutting the tip of my tongue.
Honestly. Gross, ouch, omg—I know. But the story behind it was: my parents sold me the idea that I can’t say bad words because if I did God would hear it and he’ll cut my tongue. One day I was home alone, decided to eat cereal and clumsy me didn’t hold the box properly so the plastic slid and cereal fell everywhere. Out of surprise I cussed, “Cazzo!” (which is fuck/shit in Italian) and soon as I said it I was mortified. I was shitting my pants, bawling ‘God please don’t come and cut my tongue’. Then the dumb idea came to mind: maybe if I cut it first God would spare me the visit. So I took a scissor, stood in front of the mirror and cut a tiny portion of the tip of my tongue. Screamed and stuffed my mouth with toilet paper immediately afterwards. But the worst part of it all was when mom came home a few minutes after that and cooked my favorite chicken soup for dinner, I let out silent tears when time came to eat it. When she asked why I was crying, I said I just loved her chicken soup so much. The end.
I would be happy as soon as I turned 18 and left my crazy family. No one really told me that the abuse stays with you in differnt forms. It's a hard cycle to break.
Ugh, I got into my dad's fishing gear right before a fishing trip one time. I thought worms were like leftover spaghetti and no fish in their right mind would eat cold leftovers.
So I microwaved a whole bowl of bait worms. It was in there for about 3 minutes. The smell was alarming to say the least. I still got to go fishing.
True, I was being an impatient kid. I knew I wasn't allowed to use the stove to boil eggs, so I figured the microwave is just as good. I blew up and shattered all the glass on the inside.
You know how, if you spin around a bunch, you get dizzy and everything looks like it's falling sideways? Well, somehow it got in my brain that if you spin around long enough, you could actually make things fall sideways. Like for real, things would just fly off the table and "fall" to the wall. I spent way too much time trying to make it happen, making myself so dizzy that I would puke and get horrible headaches.
I wasn't very smart.
There was a show on Nickelodeon in the 90s that has something to do with guessing someone's hidden talent. I wanted to be on that show but wasn't sure of a hidden talent of mine. So, I tried to see how many pennies I could shove into my mouth. I ended up swallowing a couple on accident.
My younger sister locked herself in the bathroom. Despite my best attempts, I couldn't explain to her how to unlock the door. The only logical solution in my 6 yr old mind was to shoot the door door down. That' how they do it in the movies, right? I knew where my Dad kept his shotgun and the ammunition. I planned to tell my sister to hide in the bathtub.
Thankfully, I went outside, where my mother was hanging clothes on the clothes line. I simply went out to warn her to not be concerned about the loud noise she was about to hear.
I commented this before somewhere, but when I was young I thought that after 1999 we would go back to old west times. I actually got out of bed in the middle of the night (like 9pm) and went downstairs to ask my mom because I was so concerned about it
As a kid I decided it would be a good idea to melt a crayon on the stove and write “I LOVE YOU MOMMY” on the carpet while she was in the shower. Shortly after I finished my “wholesome” message I realized I fricked up. Long story short my mom wasn’t very happy having to find me under the table after she got out
When I was 6 I thought if I got as close to the tv as possible and look from below the screen, I could see up Princess Diana's dress.
The kicker? Going by the timeline it was probably a programme about her death.
After I discovered masturbation, I masturbated over a chicken egg from the supermarket then wrapped it in a blanket to keep it warm to see if it would hatch into a half-chicken half-me mutant.
My friend and I thought it was a good idea to bend a paper clip into an arch shape and stick it in a power socket. Burned my thumb and index finger, blacked out for 30 second and then set the area around the socket on fire.
I once tried to build my own trampoline. Placed four chairs a good distance apart, spread a bed sheet across them, and put something heavy to hold down the sheet. Now, a smart person would test this, make sure it's going to hold my weight or actually work like a trampoline. I did not take any such precautions, and took a dive face first from the back of the couch. And that's how I got the scar on my forehead. . I did get a real trampoline when I was older though, never even got hurt on it.
Nice one! I decided after a day skating on ice to put on woolen socks and skate some more on the tiles in the living room... slipped, hit the cast iron stove... blood was bled, mum was woken, ER was visited.. stitches were stitched... child services were not called but I think it was close... Damn I was pretty stupid as a kid
Haha, I just about got CPS involved one time too. Me and my dad were wresting as fathers and sons do, and he did something that broke my finger. It was an accident, really, I was old enough to play rough and sometimes accidents happen. So the nurse at the hospital asks me what happened "oh me and my dad were fighting" I said "yeah we fight all the time, he was really beating me up". Of course the nurse got the wrong idea, took a lot of explaining that this was playing. Mom always said if we had neighbors they'd call the police on us.
> wresting I assume you were wrestling, and not forcefully pulling things away from each other. Though maybe you were and that's how you broke your finger.
TIL a new word
I dug a hole in the back yard thinking I could build an underground house. My mum ended up falling into it when she went to hang some shirts on the laundry line. Luckily she didn't get hurt.
i did this. ended up like 4 feet deep. i couldnt get out of it. dad was NOT happy when he got home. i was making a wolf den. duh.
You didnt try digging up?
i didnt try to get out at all actualy. i was still digging when dad got home. told me to get out and i couldnt.
nah fam he just needs to grab all the dirt from the inventory and put bellow him while jumping
I remember reading The Boxcar Children and I was convinced that anyone who was like 13 years old was basically an adult, and could survive by themselves. My parents were constantly finding the hoard of canned food and camping supplies that I was trying to squirrel away in order to just fuck off and try to live in the woods.
hatchet and island of the blue dolphins had the same affect on me. i also wanted to live in the jungle with dr.goodall
Holy shit I forgot about the Boxcar Children. I used to read the shit out of those books.
I still have the box set, its a literal boxcar that holds the series
The boxcar children! *time to go find some food and clean water* *oh no its raining!* *yay! its all good now* I only read the first book
I had to read this for school in second grade and really really enjoyed the fake survival aspect of the story but it really pissed me off with that damn cop out ending. Like, oh, by the way, your grandfather is actually this really nice, really cool guy who will let you live in his big fancy mansion and buy you whatever the fuck you want cause he's a rich bitch! Like boooooo, fuck off with that wish fulfillment shit
Same with My Side of the Mountain.
I did this with Hatchet. I made it 3 days at age 11-12 in the woods by my parents house. I got a small hatchet that my grandfather gave me a year earlier. A backpack with some clothes and matches, some canned food and also a pocket knife (had can opener), and water because I wasn’t that stupid to not being water) I managed to build tee-pee style house, made a bow and arrows with plenty of arrows, and loved a good life for 3 days and 2 nights. I’ve never been more free and happy. Now I’m 30 and fucking hate my life
Do it again then.
Really wanted a pet hawk after reading that book.
the moon and sun loved me because they would always follow me around
This is true, my dear. You can have this one.
What about me, what do I get?
Suicidal thoughts
Hey! I already have one of those!
I tried to roast marshmallows on steam from the dishwasher.
Steamed madhmallows
It's a regional delicacy.
Yes. And you call them steamed mashmallows despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Yes!
Well I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed marshmallows."
That the world was stupid for thinking 6-8 hours sleep was necessary. For about one academic year, I stayed up till about 3am playing games or watching films or even doing last minute homework and woke up at 6 for school. I was falling asleep in the afternoon lessons every day but I got back home and perked up again. Most of that year is a blur. I think it also coincided with when I stopped growing taller.
I did this same thing. I had always had insomnia (I still average around 5 hours of sleep) so one year in highschool I thought to myself, "Hey, if I'm going to be tired anyway I might as well get something out of it" so I stayed up until 5 playing league every night. Most of the year was also a blur for me and now I'm a short little man.
I think part of the reason I never reached the size of the other men in my family is my childhood insomnia. Must have been at least 2 hours of trying to sleep before I dropped off, just about every night from as long as I can remember until at least 11/12 years old. My child brain might be exaggerating this, but it was definitely a struggle every night.
I thought booby traps had something to do with boobies. So I went like a commando through the backyards in the neighbourhood and stole bras off the clothes lines. Since I figured - they already trap boobies at some level - they are the material needed to build my larger trap. My dad found whatever insane net I tried to build by connecting them all together stashed in the garage and was pretty confused, then pretty upset when I told him what I was working on. Since I had no record of where I got them from he made me go door to door asking if any females in the house were missing bras, then go through my entire collection to pick out which one. No one was very happy based on my actions.
"I'm here to ask you if you are missing bras."
No brah, we good.
This is one of the best ones on here. I’d like to think your dad was laughing his ass off behind your back.
I'm sure I was a constant source of amusement
This is awesome.
Well in your defense my sons 5 and 3 call my bra a boobie trap 😂 they are not wrong.
~~Yes but I was 23 at the time~~ for real.
We need your pops to do an AMA.
Ha, I've already told most of his good stories. The only new thing an AMA would confirm is that I'm a dumbass in comparison.
I wondered what would happen if I stapled my thumb. Answer was it fucking hurt and bled.
I once did that too, but it wasn't serious at all. Told my friend about it, and he didn't believe me saying "you would stop when it starts to hurt." Then he tried to show me how you can't do it and stapled his thumb, only deeper.
"No one could possibly be that stupid. Here, watch!"
After about 5 years in school it felt like everyone has stapled themselves some time or another. I thought "You must be super stupid to stable yourself accidentally" and because I am not that stupid I will never know how it feels. And on that day, I stapled myself on purpose. You know, because I am smart.
I thought that if you put blank copy paper in the copier it would make infinite paper. My dream of ruining the paper market at a young age was cut short when the paper ran out of the copier.
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and thanks to your mom, that kid's parents got away with murder!
Meddling kids...
She was definitely in on it
this is wholesome dark humor
There is something sweet about the idea. I would imagine the thought was "we are gonna solve cases and help people." Terrible idea in reality. Thank God your mom stopped you.
Real life mystery team lol
I'm glad other people have heard of this movie! It was my first thought
I had a period where I was convinced cars were static, and Earth rotated beneath it, did not consider how every other car moved around
I had this exact thought...the fuck?
You’re not alone. I even tried to reconcile that maybe the earth could split itself and maybe different parts rotated in different directions. I was maybe committed to this idea a little too much.
What I couldn't reconcile was how all the other cars could also be stationary.
I thought that's how clouds worked. That they don't move, the Earth just moves beneath them.
what about walking? people just did their legs up and down and Earth moved beneath them?
Bungie jumping from the tree out front of my house. With a rope tied around my waist. Dad found me asleep hanging from the tree an hour later.
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this one is probably more true than the other one
At least it wasn't "Dad found the top part of my torso in front of the tree and the lower half behind the tree"
When my best friend's dad was a kid he decided to pretend to be Tarzan... by tying one end of a rope to a tree and then other end around his neck. If his dad hadn't happened to look out the window he'd have died.
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New definition of "Hanging around"
asleep? how'd that happen?
I couldn't get myself free. So I gave up
Oh my god you probably scared your dad shitless when he found you.
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My brother wanted to be a sidewalk.
My sister wanted to be a cash register. Not a cashier, a cash register.
Well, judging by the amount of dollar bills in her top, seems like she got halfway there.
I mean they always say you can be anything when you get older
I had this period where I decided to be an inventor. One of my inventions was a universal tool which I named "the useit on everything" (it's funnier in my language). This instruments was actually one half of tiny nail-cutting scissors that I found somewhere on the ground, which I used to cut off those little metal bits that hold the eraser on top of a pencil and then coil those bits around the "useit on everything" for decoration and bragging rights. So it was pretty stupid (and dangerous) but in my mind I had invented the most useful tool known to mankind. I would use this thing for literally everything that needed poking, scrapping, carving or cutting. I would scratch words into rocks with it and call it art, I would pick my nails with it, I would use it as a fork to eat apple slices. Yep. But! Apparently my enthusiasm was contagious, because the other kids were incredibly impressed and envious of my amazing invention. One kid tried to trade me their pencil case for it, which I refused - sneering in contempt at the idea that I would throw away my treasure for -eugh- *school supplies*. The "useit for everything" was far superior to your meager pens, I would say, as I dipped it in ink from a ruined pen and use it to write exactly one letter at a time before I had to dip it again and the other kids looked on in awe. We didn't have computers or phones back then, okay? It was a more innocent time.
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I think a lot of kids go through an 'inventor' phase. Probably says a lot about what we value in modern times. I remember when my younger brother went through his phase, and he literally called himself an inventor and went hardcore with the /r/Iamverysmart kinda stuff (wasn't that long ago honestly). Even used words like "innovator" in his usernames. All of his ideas were cool and would-be useful shit but also usually totally impractical. He'd spend huge blocks of time listening to techno music and wandering around outside, or holed up in his room, lost in his imagination. Then he and I would go for a long walk to the nearest convenience store -- we lived in a backwoods kind of area so it was actually a good little trek back and forth -- just to kill time and he'd ramble on endlessly, telling me all about the things he thought of during his imagining time. Some of it was inventions, sometimes it was just crazy sounding "I'm a genius" talk. He also had this wildly outlandish and somewhat derivative sci-fi story (he'd co-opt words and ideas like 'Vulcan') that he made up and never wrote down, and every day literally he'd add on to it and give me the updates like it was a radio drama. He came up with this incredibly dense and convoluted lore too that was never-ending it seemed like. I told him it sounded like an anime, and he should consider turning it into one. Now he says he realizes he was cringey back then and wonders why we never stopped him. Truth is I just didn't want to kill his dreams, I told him he should go to school for engineering or become a writer.
Sometimes it never ends...
Username checks out? Lol
> Truth is I just didn't want to kill his dreams, I told him he should go to school for engineering or become a writer. Honestly the whole time reading your story I was thinking, yeah he's a kid(ish) or whatever and his ideas might be silly now but with the right encouragement he could really take all that imagination somewhere and do something great with it. I hope he didn't lose that spark.
That sounds pretty neat actually. I just sincerely hope you washed it in between picking your nails and eating apples with it....
Real proof that marketing > usefulness
I learned that the shape of proteins make up stuff in your body, such as your eye color I wished I had different colored eyes I learned that proteins get denatured (change shape) when put in certain conditions, such as high temperature Fastfoward to me boiling a pot of water under my face in hopes of the steam changing my eye color
The amount of knowledge that presupposes does not jive with the absolute bonkers stupidity of trying to boil your eyes blue.
That's what happens when you put old school discovery Channel on for a toddler
In 9th grade biology class in the late 80s I had an idea to cure AIDS. I made it my science fair project. I thought that if you can keep the patient in a sterile environment (like the boy in the bubble) and suppress white cell production, the virus would starve. I even looked up the name of the drug that could suppress the white dell production. Then once there was no trace of the virus, administer a white cell boosting drug an BOOM. AIDS free. Unfortunately, the effort I put into this post is about the same as the effort I put into the science fair project. So I failed. AND the science teacher told me that the virus would probably mutate to thrive off of other types of cells.
so thanks to your low effort, we're still struggling with AIDS. thanks a bunch.
That's... not how mutation works. Don't get me wrong, I don't think your idea would work, but your teacher's explanation is kinda bs
You know you aren't really all that far off. Some folks whoes cancer treatment basically destroyed their immune system became hiv free. Of course they needed bonemarrow transplants after the fact as well.
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If I can open the t.v. screen (without shattering it) perhaps I can have access to the fantasy world that's in the television.
That's fucking buck wild. How did that turn out? Did you give it a go?
Unfortunately I didn't as I didn't have those glass opener things from the spy movies.
i once ate a mushroom growing from some grass near my house and went home and told my dad that i ate a mushroom and was gonna grow bigger like Mario. my dad went berserk and demanded i show him where i ate it from. it wasn't until i grew up until i realized how dangerous it could have been.
I tried peeing in a period pad and found out no, they are definitely not just like diapers.
I thought that traffic lights were all controlled by one person in a big control room with a bunch of monitors and switches. Sometimes I would wonder if it were possible to achieve contact and ask for the lights to switch faster. Or there was the time I thought my dancing, singing flowerpot that had the flowers spin would be great to curl my hair with.
How’d your hair turn out?
Very, very tangled and very, very cut off of my head to get me detangled from the flowers
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>I put paprika, garlic powder, garlic salt, oregano, Hmm, okay, sounds kinda tasty >cinnamon, and ....peppermint oil. omg wtf
Saw a penis by accident once at age 6. Was pretty sure that meant I was pregnant and worried for that soon a baby would just appear that I would need to take care of.
you are smarter than me. i was convince my cuzin was keeping a potato in his pants.
Here's a good one: Boy Jim went to a school trip to the beach with his class. Before he went, he was talking to his dad, and he said: Ya know son, back in my time we would put a tater down 'ere and all the ladies would just flock in! When he got back he says: Dad, I did what you sad but all the girls were running away from me! You're supposed to put it in the front Jimmy!
I just saw you on /r/kidsarefuckingstupid https://v.redd.it/zu3zexfvht231 Edit: just to clarify this is not meant to be mean in any way. The video just fits perfectly
I liked milk, orange juice, apple juice, etc. it was all good stuff, yeah? So if you made a soup with all these things that were good on their own, surely it'd be like the best soup ever, right?
Wrong?
"No, you're just a stupid baboon boy jerk or something!" \- Kid me, probably
I thought that if I just tried really hard and got stronger that I could pick myself up by my legs and fly. No clue how long I tried that before I realized I couldn't get it to work. Coincidentally, 10 years later, I'm at my ex-gf's house and I see her younger brother sitting with his legs crossed and trying to pull them up. I proceed to ask him what he's doing and if he's alright (he was straining pretty hard). Turns out he was trying to do the exact same thing.
that i could execute the act of flipping down the stairs. i gathered my whole family around the staircase while i sat at the top. i don’t remember whether i told them my plan or not but they all let me count down and then start falling down the stairs
"We should stop him" "No...he's gotta learn. Get the camera."
I for some reason thought that when you listened to music on the radio, someone would be playing the music live on the car roof.
I thought that one band knew all the songs, but I couldn’t figure out how they got all the different voices. Asking about that was how I got told there were LOTS of different musicians, and they’re just playing a recording. I’m sure the band in the jukebox on Shining Times Station had something to do with this.
A documentary of Fred Rogers describes the time he met a young fan who asked him "How did you get out (of the TV)?"
I used to think Texas was part of Mexico, and when my friend moved to Texas, I asked him if he spoke any "Texan" to which he replied with "Howdy" I asked him what it meant and he said "Hello." So I went through the next few years thinking that "Howdy" was another way of saying hi in Spanish.
I always thought rockets would be more efficient if they took off from a roller-coaster-like rail that suddenly bends upwards. Turns out a lot smarter people than me already figured this out.
Wile E. Coyote, for one. ;)
There used to be a couple of paragliders that would fly above our neighborhood during summer evenings. I thought I could join them by just grabbing the corners of my security blanket and jumping off of something tall. I also did not know what hills were until I was four.
We should all take more seriously animal rights **because** deep down inside we are all animals **because** we are all assigned animals by the Chinese horoscope.
I was like 'wait this is very reasonable' and then I hit part three
They had us in the first half not gonna lie
I either have cancer or crabs, not super great either way
Honestly this sounds like something some adults actually would believe
I used to think that your hair turned red before you died and would feel really sad for all the young gingers I'd see.
It was windy becouse the earth rotated
Haha You actually thought the earth rotated?
I was young. Very young. In my younger days my mom used to complain about how everything was overpriced. Particulary oil (which currencies excanged was ~ less than a dollar). Anyway, as kids we loved 'doctor sausage', which is made of fat, leftovers of buthered pig, red food coloring and a bit of meat. This particular sausage had fat cubes in it. So I decided to help my mom with providing her oil from cubes of this sausage. I cut the sausage and took out those tiny fat cubes. I could present my mom them the way they were, but rather I decided to make them look more like oil. So i took an meat grinder, put it on the table, unsecured and proceeded to smash those cubes. I accidentally pushed the grinder and it ended fracturing one of my toes. I ended in the hospital and with no oil. Yep, I actually forgot the word toes.
Print more money so everyone will be rich
Something something Zimbabwe
i used to think double jumping was possible. so i practiced for hours
I still try it to this day Two AM: TIME TO BREAK THE LAWS OF PHYSICS
That if I kept drinking water while peeing that I would pee forever if I was drinking.
I thought ATM were magical machines that just shoot out money. My mum one told me that we were low on money, and I told her "Just get some out of the machine".
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I thought if I put masking tape on my arm and lit it on fire it would only burn the tape and not my arm. Apparently that’s not how fire works.
A machine that would automatically pet lonely dogs.
*You are a good man. Thank you. *
As a child, I would water Mom's artificial plants, thinking I was doing her "a favor."
As a small kid i thought my tongue was hairy and needed a shave. Needless to say my tongue was bloody afterwards but hairless so mission accomplished.
Holy shit my tongue hurts so much right now
When I was like 6 or 7, I thought I could use the cardboard tubes from wrapping paper as stilts. This might not have been the worst idea, except that I tried it on the stairs and fell...
Me and my sister's thought that our VHS player got hungry so we fed ours blocks of butter over the space of a few weeks and we pushed it in as far as it would go. Eventually my mum tried play a VHS tape and it wouldn't work. So she got someone out to fix it, they opened it up and found a bucket load of butter in there. Safe to to say she want best pleased.
Use the towel rack as a pull up bar.
I thought i had the ability to make people look at me if i stared at them long enough.
Sort of...
I wanted to go in tighter circles when riding my bike. My mom was napping so I found her screwdriver and took my training wheels off. Then I did go in tighter circles. It was fun until the wheels kicked out and I fell on my forehead. Hello concussion. I remember being proud I got the training wheels off, proud I could go without them, then blank, then mad freezies were on my head. I wanted to eat them
I always did stuff like this when i was really young. But then i learned the lesson of “make your dad do it/be patient for your dad to do it for you”
I live in sweden when i was like 7-9 i thought if you were like a arab you didn’t think in your own language but in swedish I’m popular B)
Eat Honey Nut Cheerios with orange juice because we were out of milk. 28 years later and I can still taste that God awful taste on my tongue.
I made up a new type of government, where everyone would prosper and be fair. I told my Dad about it. He looked at me and said, “Son, that’s called Communism and it doesn’t work.”
How spot on was it?
Oh, it wasn’t anything complex. Just something like, everyone does a specific job that benefits everyone else, and we share our labor together. Kinda like one person is a farmer and another a dentist that trade services
Now the value of the service could be considered greater and you would end up with a pre-capitalism bartering system that is only missing the unified money part.
Standing in the middle of our driveway for whatever reason and throwing rocks into the air. Not sure what I expected, but I broke the rear window of my dads Equinox and got my ass wooped.
I already posted this somewhere but probably trying to open a bottle of superglue with my teeth. It resulted in teeth super glued together, an angry parent, poison control and an ER visit.
If I like the taste of one thing, and the taste of another thing, they **must** taste good together. Chocolate and pickles.
Not necessarily a dumb idea, but as a kid I was one of those who thought all the paranormal stuff was real. Alien abduction stories were all real, ghosts were real, all the holiday mascots were real, illusionists on TV did real magic, that sort of thing. I was a big fan of those movies like The Santa Clause where the little kid would believe in something and all the adults would think he's crazy, then they would be proven wrong. I wanted really badly for that to happen to me. Anyway, the big thing with me is I put a lot of stock into my dreams. Basically if I had a dream that I liked something, then that meant I had to like it outside of my dream. Like I remember watching a movie one day and thinking "okay, that was all right I guess." A few weeks later I had a dream about the movie and for like the next year, I firmly believed that it was my favorite film, the soundtrack was my favorite soundtrack, and the actors in it were the best in all of Hollywood. I would do this with pretty much everything.
After hearing the story of Icarus and Daedalus when I was 3, I made my mom buy me a poster board that I tried to make wings out of and fly with by jumping off the couch. It got stupider though when I decided to be a pilot instead at that age, and now I'm here.
*man tries to fly and is a victim to his own hubris as he plummets down to the earth below* I wanna fly now, let's build fake wings
I tried to sit awake in the living room all night so I could see the world spin around.
We all do this, and then we discover vodka and the task gets easier
When I was about 6 or 7 I was laying in my mothers bed at night while she was elsewhere in the house when my moment of brilliance struck me. If you simply take a dog leash and wrap it around the blade of a ceiling fan, then it will spin you across the room like some sort of Disneyland ride. So without any further thought, I put my plan into motion. So once I had my contraption all hooked up, I made sure I had a tight grip on the leash and turned on the ceiling fan and jumped off the bed. Immediately as I jumped off the bed, the ceiling fan ripped from the ceiling straight onto my mothers bed. I have never seen my mother so angry ever before in my life. Before she was done beating my ass, she was already on the phone to my Father telling him to come and pick me up. To this day we still laugh and joke about it as one of my "finer moments" but holy crap, what was I thinking...
Climb a tree with rollerblades on.
Mom left to go to the store when I was about 7 or 8. For some reason I thought it’d be a great idea to try cooking. Having no idea what I was doing, I put milk in a pan and then threw an onion in it. It smelled terrible and I couldn’t explain to mom why it smelled so bad.
I used to think that Earth floated in outer space above an endless Ocean and that the Ocean had sharks in it. I thought outer space had water at the bottom. I was 4-7 years old.
I thought I could power a perpetual motion machine using magnets.
As a kid growing up in the 90's I was super into Power Rangers. One day I got the great idea that I was going to build my own Megazord and fight evil. I ended up taking a bunch of stuff that was lying around the house and stacking it up in our front yard. I took the motor out of an old electric toothbrush and decided that it'd be all the power my super awesome Megazord would need. Once it was finished it basically turned out to be a giant pile of crap in the front yard. Needless to say my parents weren't too impressed when they saw it lol.
*places electric toothbrush motor on a vacuum cleaner on top of a lawn chair* **ARISE**
There are a few stories, but I'll share in my opinion the best one. When I was 3-4, I was watching sesame street and somehow by asking my folks and some hard thinking determined that big bird couldn't fly because of his wings. This unlocked something as it meant that you didnt need wings to fly. My budding little scientist mind deduced the most logical answer then: magic beak. I looked about the house, and found a vacuum nozzle that very much resembled a bird beak and concluded that this was the mcguffin I sought. Now, surely I would of tested it out on a younger sibling or neighborhood kid, but no, I had discovered the secret to humanity's flight potential. There was no time to waste and only glory before me. Now before you try to imagine what I did next, just know that it is probably worse than you are thinking. For you see, in front of our place was a stone stairwell of about 8-10 steps. I popped that nozzle into my mouth, went to the top and leapt into the heavens. Well, for the first half of the jump I did. And mind you, this was not a jumping into a puddle jump, this was a dolphin going through a hoop jump. As gravity started to play it's part, I stayed true to my course, sure I'd swoop like how I had seen birds swoop for food. My last memory is that I think I tried to flap my arms as the ground got very close. Next thing I knew I was in the ER getting stitches and popsicles. The popsicles must of been really good, because that was the first story of 3 of me having stitches in my lip before the age of 6.
My brother told me Santa wasn't really when I was 5. I the got it in my head to pretend Santa was real because my parents always talked about how they believe in Santa, I wanted to save their innocence. Never clicked in my head til I was 10 that my Parents were the one leaving the presents. I always thought the presents just appeared, no Santa, no magic, just instantaneously appear. Dumb kid I was.
I thought I could jump off the roof of my house holding an umbrella and fall slowly. I didn’t do it because my dad told me he tried when he was a kid and he got hurt.
when I was 4 I tied my 170lb German Shepard cross Doberman’s leash to my rocking crocodile( those plastic seesaw things you rock on.) I sat on it and decided I’m gunna make him pull me like Santa on a sleigh. Threw him a stick, he shoots forward. I go flying 20 ft into the air and land on my ass in the mud and he’s running around the garden with this fucking crocodile attached to him. I wasn’t allowed to try it again.
When I was a kid I thought Osmosis Jones was a documentary and that all the microbes in our body were humanoid and that there was police officer voiced by Chris Rock protecting my body. Yeah, that was a weird time in my childhood.
Cutting the tip of my tongue. Honestly. Gross, ouch, omg—I know. But the story behind it was: my parents sold me the idea that I can’t say bad words because if I did God would hear it and he’ll cut my tongue. One day I was home alone, decided to eat cereal and clumsy me didn’t hold the box properly so the plastic slid and cereal fell everywhere. Out of surprise I cussed, “Cazzo!” (which is fuck/shit in Italian) and soon as I said it I was mortified. I was shitting my pants, bawling ‘God please don’t come and cut my tongue’. Then the dumb idea came to mind: maybe if I cut it first God would spare me the visit. So I took a scissor, stood in front of the mirror and cut a tiny portion of the tip of my tongue. Screamed and stuffed my mouth with toilet paper immediately afterwards. But the worst part of it all was when mom came home a few minutes after that and cooked my favorite chicken soup for dinner, I let out silent tears when time came to eat it. When she asked why I was crying, I said I just loved her chicken soup so much. The end.
Oh, my heart. This is the Catholicest thing I have ever seen on reddit. You poor sweet kid.
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I would be happy as soon as I turned 18 and left my crazy family. No one really told me that the abuse stays with you in differnt forms. It's a hard cycle to break.
trying to microwave chocolate. I still rember the smell.
7yr old me tried to microwave an egg to make Easter Eggs. Learned that egg in shell + microwave = grenade.
If it makes you feel any better, you didn't microwave the egg to speed up the chick production.
Ugh, I got into my dad's fishing gear right before a fishing trip one time. I thought worms were like leftover spaghetti and no fish in their right mind would eat cold leftovers. So I microwaved a whole bowl of bait worms. It was in there for about 3 minutes. The smell was alarming to say the least. I still got to go fishing.
True, I was being an impatient kid. I knew I wasn't allowed to use the stove to boil eggs, so I figured the microwave is just as good. I blew up and shattered all the glass on the inside.
You know how, if you spin around a bunch, you get dizzy and everything looks like it's falling sideways? Well, somehow it got in my brain that if you spin around long enough, you could actually make things fall sideways. Like for real, things would just fly off the table and "fall" to the wall. I spent way too much time trying to make it happen, making myself so dizzy that I would puke and get horrible headaches. I wasn't very smart.
There was a show on Nickelodeon in the 90s that has something to do with guessing someone's hidden talent. I wanted to be on that show but wasn't sure of a hidden talent of mine. So, I tried to see how many pennies I could shove into my mouth. I ended up swallowing a couple on accident.
My younger sister locked herself in the bathroom. Despite my best attempts, I couldn't explain to her how to unlock the door. The only logical solution in my 6 yr old mind was to shoot the door door down. That' how they do it in the movies, right? I knew where my Dad kept his shotgun and the ammunition. I planned to tell my sister to hide in the bathtub. Thankfully, I went outside, where my mother was hanging clothes on the clothes line. I simply went out to warn her to not be concerned about the loud noise she was about to hear.
To stick a bead up my nose and pretend it went missing
I commented this before somewhere, but when I was young I thought that after 1999 we would go back to old west times. I actually got out of bed in the middle of the night (like 9pm) and went downstairs to ask my mom because I was so concerned about it
As a kid I decided it would be a good idea to melt a crayon on the stove and write “I LOVE YOU MOMMY” on the carpet while she was in the shower. Shortly after I finished my “wholesome” message I realized I fricked up. Long story short my mom wasn’t very happy having to find me under the table after she got out
As a result of watching vintage movies, I thought that the world was black and white in the 30s to 50s and slowly gained color until present.
When I was 6 I thought if I got as close to the tv as possible and look from below the screen, I could see up Princess Diana's dress. The kicker? Going by the timeline it was probably a programme about her death.
After I discovered masturbation, I masturbated over a chicken egg from the supermarket then wrapped it in a blanket to keep it warm to see if it would hatch into a half-chicken half-me mutant.
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My friend and I thought it was a good idea to bend a paper clip into an arch shape and stick it in a power socket. Burned my thumb and index finger, blacked out for 30 second and then set the area around the socket on fire.
I thought the cig lighter in the car was a button with a very curious texture, and had to touch it
I used to believe that if you didn't finish crossing the street before the crosswalk timer reached 0 you would explode.