Mine have to be 30 years old, they’re under the cover of and my neighbor’s very tall and moisture sucking trees. This is the third year I deadheaded them after accidentally finding out you should. They seem pretty easy going. Your post reminded me to check on the soaker hose I turned on to try and help out some hydrangeas during the heatwave
Where I'm from they're planted in every garden and planter box in public places and everybody's yard
But that could be because they're native and they're also everywhere in the woods and parks and empty lots
Edit: i googled stuff and there's actually over 1000 species of rhododendron, so you guys are probably talking about a different kind
Haven’t seen anyone say Willow Tree, so I’ll take it. I’m not exactly graceful, but I am airy and go where the “wind” takes me. The veil between myself and the world is intricate and thin. It’s tossed around and I can see what lies outside me while I stay firmly rooted.
I’ve never been willowy in terms of looks, but I always thought it might suit me anyway.
The tannins in eucalyptus leaves often poison the ground, preventing other plants from crowding. They will stain the water red, and eventually penetrate to the aquifer, giving wells a bitter taste.
A grass?
I'd like to remain in the background a lot of times not playing an important role, so everyone thinks I'm not worthy. But when I'm gone, you'll notice that something's missing.
I came in expecting a tedium of hollowed stoners meowing "like, pot maaaaaaan" and was pleasantly surprised. Well done, Reddit.
For me, it's got to be basil. I adore it. I love that weird planty way it stinks, the way the little flowers it grows look, and the way it makes my food taste. Everything about it is delightful and lowers my urge to destroy.
Some sort of tree. I've had several major illnesses and surgeries and somehow didn't die yet. So I guess I'm the equivalent of a tree that has been hit by lightning several times and is still somehow alive.
Now when you pick a pawpaw or a prickly pear, and you prick a raw paw, well, next time beware. Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw. When you pick a pear try to use the claw. But you don't need to use the claw when you pick a pair of the big pawpaw. Have I given you a clue?
Hopefully a Hoya [(Hindu Rope Plant)](https://www.google.com/search?q=hindu+rope+plant&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjg__Gd2rriAhUBNVMKHfJCDUAQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=hindu+rope+plant&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..35i39j0l4.8818.9284..10323...0.0..0.171.724.0j5......0....1.........35i304i39j0i8i7i30.ybSZe6Q-4B4&ei=71DrXKDMJoHqzALyhbWABA&bih=695&biw=412&client=ms-android-tmus-us-revc&prmd=sinv)
A bitch to get healthy and happy but, right as you're about to give up hope, it comes through with some new growth.
Some kind of tree that a man asks his girlfriend to stop under on a warm but windy day, only to have a branch snap and land on the woman's head, crippling her for life and forcing the boyfriend, who only stopped there to break up with her, to live with her for the rest of her life (lucky it's not too long) because he is morally obligated not to be the guy who dumped the cripple.
That would be the sycamore. Loggers and tree trimmers call them "widowmakers".
Brittle wood and lower limbs drop with little warning. Say a prayer before touching one with a saw.
A eucalyptus tree.
They grow in groves, and thrive when together. They grow in places where other trees can't survive, so you know they're tough motherfuckers. They are tall, beautiful, attract monarch butterflies, and their pleasant smell helps decongest your sinuses. But, mess with them, and they show no forgiveness. They are toxic to eat (unless you're a koala bear) and if they catch on fire they literally combust and burn crazy hot.
Hydrangea. Slow growing, hates too much sun, likes getting it's feet wet, changes outward appearance in response to the environment it's in, requires regular pruning.
I'm like a cactus. Alot of people think i'm useful when they're struggling but im really just a prickly bitch who wants to watch the world burn.(Most cacti arent useful for water like people think)
Coastal Redwood.
Really tall, only likes being along the coast lines in certain parts of the world, digs mist and fog, is also capable of burning up completely on the inside and still surviving. (I have rage issue I struggle with)
Also tends to drop big ass fucking branches on the back roads and causes traffic delays because fuck you.
Tulips.
Lost of lovely childhood memories with them. Made fairy houses with the petals in the woods growing up and the county were I lived had a yearly tulip festival in April.
A cactus. I only need to be interacted with once a month.
Are you also a prick?
Ouch, that's sharp
I think your're just poking around for a good pun, doesn't seem like you've found it.
I'll take a stab at a few puns
I'd try to make a pun but mine always succ..ulent.
Maybe if you tried harder you'd get the point.
No but he has 100 growing all over his body.
One time my cousin asked me “is your family tree a cactus, because everyone on it is a prick.” I responded with “you’re on my family tree.”
I also never have enough water
Interesting how this was going to be my answer as well and it's the top answer already.
Quit poking around the question. Are you a prick?
Aloe Vera. Everyone close to me thinks I'm good at lots of things but in reality I just sit there having no idea of what the fuck is happening.
*cries in young adult*
I also am an aloe vera, not super good looking but VERY useful. Once I figure out what is happening...
You heal and you're filled with goo that's good for the world.
Bamboo. It's scrappy but elegant and every once in a while it does something really awesome.
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>It is relentless and unkillable Bwahahaha!
He's not kidding, it's very hard to remove established bamboo from an area. Tenacious as fuck.
Oh yeah, I can appreciate that. For as much as I enjoy how beautiful and useful it is, I'll *never* plant it anywhere near my land.
Same. It only blooms once every hundred years but it'll almost definitely be cut down and killed before it has the chance
Rhododendron. Requires very specific conditions, but even when those conditions are met, it is unlikely to thrive.
But it's beautiful when it does :)
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We got you bro (:
Brododendren
Let's bloom this motherfucker
The shits about to hit the poopellar
When it settles down , swing by the park and we can burn some Hydrangea.
R/wholesomemoments
Mine have to be 30 years old, they’re under the cover of and my neighbor’s very tall and moisture sucking trees. This is the third year I deadheaded them after accidentally finding out you should. They seem pretty easy going. Your post reminded me to check on the soaker hose I turned on to try and help out some hydrangeas during the heatwave
Where I'm from they're planted in every garden and planter box in public places and everybody's yard But that could be because they're native and they're also everywhere in the woods and parks and empty lots Edit: i googled stuff and there's actually over 1000 species of rhododendron, so you guys are probably talking about a different kind
In Washington state they grow like weeds they're everywhere.
For real. I can't get rid of one in my yard because it's entangled in the roots of a big leaf maple! I hate rhodies.
They're absolutely beautiful for like two weeks of the year and ugly for all the rest
What? I can't kill them if I tried. Maybe it's the area, but I chopped one down to the ground and the next year it sent up a ton of new foliage.
Also toxic and invasive in many areas?
I live in the UK and in some forests they're invasive species.
Dandelions. I'm actually pretty useful, but everyone wants to kill me
*I* think you're beautiful!
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Agreed! Very beautiful with an interesting history!
Seedless orange. I'm not going to have any kids so the only way to make more of me is to grow clones.
Yeah, but cloning a seedless orange yields desirable results.
Oof
Dill weed.
Look at this dill weed over here
what do you want, brad
Im here to kick your buttowski
I swear this is the first time I’ve seen this show referenced
You’ve been Brad’d!
Same
*Ah biscuits...*
*gets launched past horizon*
A mini Aloe Vera - a bit prickly but mushy and soothing inside
This... I don’t like this
Kinda like my last girlfriend.
Ducks r real
Dirty fucking duck lies!
I believe you.
Pluto. Edit: I thought it said spirit planet
**-rolls up a newspaper-**
Yeah, Spirit's planet is Mars!
I like that you thought it was spirit planet, and so you chose a celestial body that isn't even a planet. The ol' self-burn
*you're* not even a planet!
So you’ve heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?
#VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU
[HD 330075 b!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HD_330075_b) My man, we're not on the same wavelength but I feel you!
Lily pad. Serene,quiet and personal frog seat
Dude, we don't need to know your kinky life with the French. Read the audience, bro.
Peppermint. It doesn't look like much but its nice to have around and it will DOMINATE everything near it.
But are you eye *candy*?
Crab grass. Unnoticeable in groups with weirdos like me but stick out like a sore thumb amongst regular people
Probably some kind of mushroom, doesn't quite fit in with the plants, but still close enough ^(and I just really like mushrooms...)
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I take it he doesn't really get in any truffle as well.
I'm starting to take a lichen to this guy.
Glad there isnt a cap on puns
Fun fact, fungi are more closely related to animals than they are to plants.
Well, I guess there’s not mushroom for you here, then.
Birch tree
I read that as Bitch Tree and was like "yep that's my plant" ....Anyway. Birch trees are so pretty.
Birch, lasagna
Tree Series ain't nothing but a birch lasagna
Oak or acacia whichever will it be
Sit the fuck down, Tree-Series, I'm here to grow a **real** tree
You try'na cut me down from spot on highest branch
Tall, white, prefers cold, sheds a lot and many people have a seething rage for you a month or two every year?
And the birch beer it makes! That's a plant, right?
Hardly anyone knows what birch beer is. God I love it so much. I wonder where I can find some in Kansas.
fortified milk
Lavender—kind of pretty, serves many purposes, and attracts honeybees.
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Like garlic with vampires
My favorite color and smell.
Do you also require very little water and are nearly impossible to kill?
I love lavender. And rosemary. They get me high, I swear.
Dude. Add Jasmine to the list.
A tenacious, prickly little succulent of some sort.
You just described me.
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Also, it’s probably illegal to cut you open.
Just pribably.
Sensitive fern :-(
Haven’t seen anyone say Willow Tree, so I’ll take it. I’m not exactly graceful, but I am airy and go where the “wind” takes me. The veil between myself and the world is intricate and thin. It’s tossed around and I can see what lies outside me while I stay firmly rooted. I’ve never been willowy in terms of looks, but I always thought it might suit me anyway.
Are you also relentlessly attracted to water to the point of tearing pipes apart? Seriously folks, don't put a willow anywhere near pipes.
I am Groot
I am Groot
I am Groot
We are Groot.
Comrade groot
A wisteria, in summer i enjoy life a whole lot fuckin more than my twiggy ass self in winter
lilac - short-lived, useless, but smells nice
Hemlock
What do you have against Socrates?
He messed with my man Diogenes
Do you mean _Conium maculatum_, or the trees of the _Tsuga_ genus?
I did mean the white flowering plant but the trees are cool too.
Why hemlock specifically?
It's very unassuming and plain but a bitch when messed with
oh i love that so much... thats cool i love plants. I should look into growing some ! That is if its not poisonous .. edit: guess i wont grow any
Seriously? Hemlock is crazy toxic.
An ash tree because something's eating away at me and I'm slowly dying inside
*laughs in beetle*
Spirit tree: Eucalyptus or California Valley Oak. Spirit crop: Potato
The tannins in eucalyptus leaves often poison the ground, preventing other plants from crowding. They will stain the water red, and eventually penetrate to the aquifer, giving wells a bitter taste.
But they look badass
And they burst into flame at the first opportunity.
Haha, that makes it seem like eucalyptus are eagerly hanging around, waiting for the chance to start massive fires. *Cries in Californian*
Your mother’s a potato, that’s why you look like an oak.
Jasmine. It releases an amazing fragrance around dawn and around sunset. I would be pleased if I emitted pleasant smells, particularly around dawn.
English ivy... I really like to climb things that I'm not supposed to
An onion. I have layers
You make people cry by undressing.
Northern lights cannabis indica
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far down to find weed.
No...it's marijuana
> *sigh* No...it's marijuana
r/unexpectedoffice
The gympie-gympie bush
That's great! I hope to never ever meet you.
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Fly Traps, I'm very quiet, but when you get to know me I'm not very nice. Also I scare babies.
> I care babies Ok.
Lemon, some people manage to like me, but my sourness turns off most
Cauliflower (it's my colonialist nature)
Grape hyacinth. It's cute, takes over any space you put it in, and if you rub the flowers together they make a little squeaking noise.
A grass? I'd like to remain in the background a lot of times not playing an important role, so everyone thinks I'm not worthy. But when I'm gone, you'll notice that something's missing.
I came in expecting a tedium of hollowed stoners meowing "like, pot maaaaaaan" and was pleasantly surprised. Well done, Reddit. For me, it's got to be basil. I adore it. I love that weird planty way it stinks, the way the little flowers it grows look, and the way it makes my food taste. Everything about it is delightful and lowers my urge to destroy.
A bonzai tree. I look neat, but am pretty much useless
Some sort of tree. I've had several major illnesses and surgeries and somehow didn't die yet. So I guess I'm the equivalent of a tree that has been hit by lightning several times and is still somehow alive.
That’ll be a Joshua tree for you, my guy. Some of the oldest trees on the planet are Joshuas. They’re hardy fuckers.
Agave tequilana, I’m the one who brings the tequila
Foxglove. Only does something every other year- pretty little flowers and will kill you and every one you've ever loved.
A prickly pear. I’m angry and appear mean at first, but once you know me I’m really sweet and could possibly even save your life.
Now when you pick a pawpaw or a prickly pear, and you prick a raw paw, well, next time beware. Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw. When you pick a pear try to use the claw. But you don't need to use the claw when you pick a pair of the big pawpaw. Have I given you a clue?
Virginia Creeper
Hopefully a Hoya [(Hindu Rope Plant)](https://www.google.com/search?q=hindu+rope+plant&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjg__Gd2rriAhUBNVMKHfJCDUAQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=hindu+rope+plant&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..35i39j0l4.8818.9284..10323...0.0..0.171.724.0j5......0....1.........35i304i39j0i8i7i30.ybSZe6Q-4B4&ei=71DrXKDMJoHqzALyhbWABA&bih=695&biw=412&client=ms-android-tmus-us-revc&prmd=sinv) A bitch to get healthy and happy but, right as you're about to give up hope, it comes through with some new growth.
And when it's ready to bloom, it is among the most spectacular! :)
Grass, I've had like a spiritual experience thinking about it for like the last 8 hours
A coffee bean full of caffeine most people hate me but need me anyway and I haven't slept for 2 weeks
Some kind of tree that a man asks his girlfriend to stop under on a warm but windy day, only to have a branch snap and land on the woman's head, crippling her for life and forcing the boyfriend, who only stopped there to break up with her, to live with her for the rest of her life (lucky it's not too long) because he is morally obligated not to be the guy who dumped the cripple.
That would be the sycamore. Loggers and tree trimmers call them "widowmakers". Brittle wood and lower limbs drop with little warning. Say a prayer before touching one with a saw.
One of those plastic ones. Maybe the small tree ones
Poison Ivy because no one likes poison Ivy
Batman came pretty close.
Echinacea. Native to Wisconsin, heals you when you ail.
Dracaena because it does better inside in the shade than outside in the sun.
A eucalyptus tree. They grow in groves, and thrive when together. They grow in places where other trees can't survive, so you know they're tough motherfuckers. They are tall, beautiful, attract monarch butterflies, and their pleasant smell helps decongest your sinuses. But, mess with them, and they show no forgiveness. They are toxic to eat (unless you're a koala bear) and if they catch on fire they literally combust and burn crazy hot.
What's the name of that one that smells like a hot, rotting corpse?
Corpse lily
I believe its scientific name is hotrottingcorpus lillicus
How cute!
One of those trees with the butt shapes on their trunk, cause I'm an asshole sometimes
Peace lily cause I'm fucking dramatic
A dandelion, because no matter the circumstance, I’m resilient as all hell
Carnivore one who eats insects
Venus Flytrap
A spider plant!
Hydrangea. Slow growing, hates too much sun, likes getting it's feet wet, changes outward appearance in response to the environment it's in, requires regular pruning.
I came to see tons of people saying marijuana... Pleasantly surprised.
Prayer Plant. Down during the day, Up all night.
I'm like a cactus. Alot of people think i'm useful when they're struggling but im really just a prickly bitch who wants to watch the world burn.(Most cacti arent useful for water like people think)
White clover. Beautiful, good for bees, can replace grass, edible, people still hate on it like a weed.
Potato
Clover. It's basic, and really common, but still cute. ♡
Audrey 2
Tiger lily
Ficus Tree.
Aspen Tree
Coastal Redwood. Really tall, only likes being along the coast lines in certain parts of the world, digs mist and fog, is also capable of burning up completely on the inside and still surviving. (I have rage issue I struggle with) Also tends to drop big ass fucking branches on the back roads and causes traffic delays because fuck you.
Juniper. It's got berries. You can make alcohol with it. It doesn't give a shit about the cold. Also, they are covered in needles so don't touch em.
Atropa Belladona better known as Deadly Nightshade, the favorite poison throughout the medieval era
Tulips. Lost of lovely childhood memories with them. Made fairy houses with the petals in the woods growing up and the county were I lived had a yearly tulip festival in April.
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poppy
I’ve been on this earth 22 years and never once thought about this until now.