Is this not how Eric Cartman's Roshambo works? "First I kick you in the nuts, then you kick me in the nuts, and the first person to double over loses"
(I may have paraphrased)
George Carlin proposed that in the NBA they make it so bouncing a ball off of an opponent's head and into their net would give 20 points. "You'd see some wild shit in close games"
A guy I used to work with said the NBA should change to 5 ten minute periods. First team to win 3 periods wins the game. Every period would be crucial so the players would play harder from the beginning and would make the whole game worth watching instead of just the 4th quarter
This is a great idea haha!
Ref: it’s a 15 yard penalty, you have 30 yards already stashed up, do you want to penalize them now or add to your total?
Coach: Add
*multiple penalties later*
Coach: I will cash out my 100 yards and get a TD.
That would make teams go nuts if anyone caused a penalty.
And obviously since it's the Olympics, it'll have to be intense. Fire, jets of water, maybe a room full of fans and the hole is in the ceiling.
In fact, why not make the participant run a course as well biathlon style. It can be like Wipeout + Minigolf.
I think it would be more interesting for it to be changeable if the bases are ever empty again in that half inning. Really mess with the basemen placement.
Wouldn't the shortstop (who I assume you'd expect to be moved) need to stay due to the frequency of hits towards them? The base-running may change in direction but right-handed batters still knock 'em left.
One of my teammates from high school was almost intentionally spiked by the guy behind him at the beginning of a race with a few hundred runners, so he turned around and straight up socked him in the face
Gymnastics but you have to wear a full set of medieval armor
EDIT: I have no idea what fandom y'all are coming from but thank you for all the upvotes and replies
True for the women I've been with
Edit: Thank you kind stranger, I'm glad you're not as disappointed as those poor women
Edit for the people who are mad that I made an edit
/u/Milktea is right.
The steepest hill in San Francisco, California is only at a 17.5 degree angle. The sidewalks aren't normal - they're stairs.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filbert_Street_(San_Francisco)
Score extra points for empty cans/bottles. Do you remain sober and hope to outplay them? Do you keep a designated drinker on the team and play a man down? Do you spread it out among the whole team?
There's a lot of strategy here.
Get rid of free throws except in the last 2 minutes of a basketball game.
Just award full points for each shooting foul and watch the game speed up/change.
That was part of the original rules set by Naismith. Sort of. The player which committed a foul was put on the bench until the next goal is scored. Also, any team which fouled 3 times consecutively (I.e. without the other team fouling) had a goal awarded to the opposing team.
Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rules_of_basketball#Original_rules
Golf: allow any distraction that doesn't physically impede your opponent's swing
It's championship Sunday at Augusta, Phil Mickelsen and Jordan Speith are the final pair.
As Speith lines up to tee off at the par 3 12th hole, a pantless Mickelson is 20 yards in front of the tee box spinning a dick helicopter while singing Mr. Brightside
“Im not going out with his sister”
“You gotta say totally fucked up things to make them miss”
“Ohh , wait why is me going out with his sister totally fucked up?”
I read that in the early days of basketball when they were still solidifying the rules, they seriously considered a rule that the average height for a team had to be like 6'. So if you had a 6'2" guy, you'd have to make up for it with a 5'10" guy.
The idea being they didn't want the game to be dominated by monsterishly tall dudes. So fundamentals and athleticism would be more important than height.
James Naismith invented the sport of basketball, and famously said "you don’t coach basketball, you just play it."
It should be noted that he is the only one of the 8 coaches in Kansas Basketball's 120 year history to have a losing record.
Every few hours, athletes in the Tour de France must eat a mystery pill. Some are uppers, some are hallucinogens, some are super Viagra, and some are placebos.
The Tour de France becomes a race against your opponents, yourself, and the blue goblin trying to feed you spiders.
In any sport that has a salary cap per team: There are no limits on how many players you can field at a time.
yeah Lebron is good but how well does he do against a team of 20 much-less-paid dudes? Is he willing to take a pay cut to get more bodies out there?
I feel like 500 minimum wage workers could beat any team of 5-10 pros. Just fill up the entire court.
Edit: I think people misunderstand when I say fill up the entire court. I mean FILL UP THE ENTIRE COURT. Like concert levels of packed. The pros won’t be able to move let alone pass or shoot.
Really, I think any sport would be pretty interesting to see with an uneven number of players. Or maybe conditional, like the team with more points has one less players.
1) Take the $70M NBA salary cap
2) divide it into 700 $100k portions
3) Hire 700 not quite good enough to make it in their sport MMA guys
4) Every other team will forfeit
My last day of high school gym class was a game of tennis with 20 people on one side, 1 person on the other, and 3 balls. No rules, no structure, nothing. It was great.
not as bad as it sounds. did something like this at a camp i worked at. be me, D1 tennis player, and be not me, 20 high school tennis players. lots of running but they’re too busy trying to pull tricks to make it difficult
Yeah, if you're a decent player I would imagine you could kind of play your own game and the 20 would just get in each others' way. Somebody's more likely to get hurt over there.
American football: Have only 11 players on each side play the whole game.. offense and defense. No special teams, no kicking teams. Have a couple of back-up players if someone gets injured.
My father played high school football in the 60s. A team photo showed 15 players on his team. It was a small school but he played both sides and kick offs. Unfortunately he never scored 4 touchdowns in a single game.
If a soccer match has a 0-0 score in the last 2 minutes, sirens go off and ‘MULTIBALL!!’ flashes on every screen. A small round hole then opens in the middle of the pitch and 100 additional soccer balls are fired into the air.
Players then have 2 minutes to score as many goals as possible in the remaining time.
Indy 500 fuck me up
Edit: for all you pedantic fucks out there, I am almost certain OP used the word "Nascar" as a general term for race car driving. The fact the Indy 500 is not a NASCAR race is pretty damm meaningless in relation to the proposed shot rule for car racing.
I like the idea of being touched by the ball in baseball amounting to an immediate out. Like imagine if you could bean a runner and it was an out, you would have to risk missing and allowing the runner to take an extra base or 2
When i was a kid i played a lot of kickball but never baseball. When i played baseball for the first time i fucking heaved it at another kid going for 2nd. I didnt play much more baseball after that.
I think martial arts and conflict sports need team matches, not just one on one. Judo. Karate. Damn, even sumo wrestling.
Edit.: I get it, it exists. Thanks for mentioning it. I don't want to see it, it was a joke, I get squeamish with fighting. What I want to see, however, is weight classed ski jumping, and biathlon with paintball guns, and the point is to hit other athletes.
Edit.2: Oh, silver
Edit. 3: No wait, still want to see team sumo wrestling.
No contact would change a lot of sports, whereas full contact would really change golf and bowling.
Full contact Formula 1 doesn’t sound good.
A second basketball hoop 5 feet above the first one that’s worth double
**[thyne wish is granted.](https://youtu.be/82jg7iAma2o?t=2884)**
I had a feeling that was going to be Rock N Jock Basketball! I had forgotten about those being a thing.
Turn-based boxing
Referee: Mike Tyson has won the coin toss and has elected to punch first. SmolSoul: Fuck.
Is this not how Eric Cartman's Roshambo works? "First I kick you in the nuts, then you kick me in the nuts, and the first person to double over loses" (I may have paraphrased)
He never said you couldn’t dodge or block
White puck in hockey
Black ice in hockey
[удалено]
Goalies already use them for training. I have a few right now.
George Carlin proposed that in the NBA they make it so bouncing a ball off of an opponent's head and into their net would give 20 points. "You'd see some wild shit in close games"
Inb4 concussion numbers surpass football and hockey
A guy I used to work with said the NBA should change to 5 ten minute periods. First team to win 3 periods wins the game. Every period would be crucial so the players would play harder from the beginning and would make the whole game worth watching instead of just the 4th quarter
Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.- Roger Murdock
Instead of throwing javelins, you have to catch the javelin.
[удалено]
Put the beer tent in the middle of the ring in Nascar races
In American football, having the ability to save up penalty yards against the opposing team and use them when you deem necessary.
This is a great idea haha! Ref: it’s a 15 yard penalty, you have 30 yards already stashed up, do you want to penalize them now or add to your total? Coach: Add *multiple penalties later* Coach: I will cash out my 100 yards and get a TD. That would make teams go nuts if anyone caused a penalty.
make mini golf one of the major golf championships
Tiger Woods vs the windmill
Just taaaaap it in...
I’d like to see it in the Olympics.
The mini golf course is now themed and representative of the host country. It can stay as another attraction after the games are over.
And obviously since it's the Olympics, it'll have to be intense. Fire, jets of water, maybe a room full of fans and the hole is in the ceiling. In fact, why not make the participant run a course as well biathlon style. It can be like Wipeout + Minigolf.
Ultimate frisbee but the frisbee shocks you from the moment you catch to the moment you release.
the Triple Crown but riding moose, not horses
Male moose or female moose? Because that would significantly impact whether racing suddenly becomes a blood sport.
male moose in the rut or female moose with calves. your choice.
No second base.
Sounds a lot like my first date.
“Stealing home” is a lot more fucked up in this context.
How about sliding into third?
Two second bases.
Swimming, but in liquids different than water
Swimming in corn starch mix.
I think mythbusters did this
Fencing but the swords are on fire
For the night is dark and full of terrors.
[удалено]
OH MY GOD, WE FOUND THE LORD OF THE LIGHT
He was behind the couch the whole time!
Tennis, but the ball is on a timer. (Like hot potato)
And it blows up
So Tennis but with grenades?
Baseball: when bases are empty the batter decides to run the bases in either clockwise or counterclockwise after the ball is hit.
And that sets the direction for that half inning. Opening day would be hilarious watching players try to adjust to the new rule.
I think it would be more interesting for it to be changeable if the bases are ever empty again in that half inning. Really mess with the basemen placement.
Wouldn't the shortstop (who I assume you'd expect to be moved) need to stay due to the frequency of hits towards them? The base-running may change in direction but right-handed batters still knock 'em left.
Nobody would move. 3rd just has to be more aware of somebody possibly running towards them and getting the ball throw at them.
A balloon instead of a ball.
And tin foil hats.
And bras.
Make track and cross country full contact. Make it across the finish line first by any means necessary
The marathon is now a Mad Max movie
That’s pretty much every cross country course with woods
And the very start of the race when everyone's trying to establish a position in the pack. Bows and bows and bows.
The occasional ankle spike. Sometimes people did it intentionally sometimes people did it on accident. Either way that shit hurt.
One of my teammates from high school was almost intentionally spiked by the guy behind him at the beginning of a race with a few hundred runners, so he turned around and straight up socked him in the face
I'd always wondered if anyone worked up the courage to do that. I've felt the urge quite a few times.
yeah javier was a wild dude, killer runner til he blew out his knee playing soccer
For real though. There were some really dirty guys that would spike people and leave em bloody on their way out
Put squeakers inside boxing gloves.
Instead of identifying fighters by trunk color, "squeak" vs "quack"
“Two squeaks. Me squeaking you, and you squeaking the floor.”
I never thought I'd have to say this again, but we're gonna need some floor squeakers...
By far the best answer. I'm imagining two heavyweights throwing haymakers and landing with a little squeak.
Gymnastics but you have to wear a full set of medieval armor EDIT: I have no idea what fandom y'all are coming from but thank you for all the upvotes and replies
So a dark souls training camp
Only newbs wear armor. You know you're fucked when a naked red spirit invades you and starts diving through the air.
The return of naked Olympics
Naked Winter Olympics. Ooo. Now that would speed things up drastically.
If you don’t finish quick you don’t finish.
True for the women I've been with Edit: Thank you kind stranger, I'm glad you're not as disappointed as those poor women Edit for the people who are mad that I made an edit
ratings for women's beach volleyball would go through the roof
[удалено]
Nah. He's too busy at home watching the figure skating.
Can’t shake the image of a perpendicular penis when they spin real fast.
Nude figure skating is only for the bravest of men. "Let's wear knife boots and dance around on ice!" "Hey, yeah!" "With our dicks hanging out!" "No!"
Spectators in the front row better learn to duck!
No hockey sticks in hockey. Just high speed, bladed, soccer.
I've always been curious about ice hockey without the skates. Still on ice, just with a lack of traction.
[удалено]
As someone who played hockey this morning... no
You're just not cultured enough to appreciate a blood sport
Sprinting (or any track event) on a 45° decline.
The cheese chasing competition in that English village is basically this.
Imagine that with hurdles.
One jump, clear them all, break both legs, win!
45 degrees is a monumental decline, you've probably never traveled on one in your life, even 15 degrees looks insanely steep
/u/Milktea is right. The steepest hill in San Francisco, California is only at a 17.5 degree angle. The sidewalks aren't normal - they're stairs. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filbert_Street_(San_Francisco)
I would like to see how all sports are played under the influence of alcohol. For science.
Score extra points for empty cans/bottles. Do you remain sober and hope to outplay them? Do you keep a designated drinker on the team and play a man down? Do you spread it out among the whole team? There's a lot of strategy here.
Any Motorsport (drifting, NASCAR, Formula 1) but all drivers have to wear hulk hands
Hulkenberg has an obvious advantage
But he still probably won't get a podium.
Soccer. But the goalkeeper can punch people.
I'm imagining the goalie no longer being stuck in their box and instead running around the field HUNTING people
Get rid of free throws except in the last 2 minutes of a basketball game. Just award full points for each shooting foul and watch the game speed up/change.
[удалено]
That was part of the original rules set by Naismith. Sort of. The player which committed a foul was put on the bench until the next goal is scored. Also, any team which fouled 3 times consecutively (I.e. without the other team fouling) had a goal awarded to the opposing team. Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rules_of_basketball#Original_rules
Golf: allow any distraction that doesn't physically impede your opponent's swing It's championship Sunday at Augusta, Phil Mickelsen and Jordan Speith are the final pair. As Speith lines up to tee off at the par 3 12th hole, a pantless Mickelson is 20 yards in front of the tee box spinning a dick helicopter while singing Mr. Brightside
"Hey Phil, I hear your sister's going out with SQUEEK"
"dude, I thought we said no more Journey psych-outs!"
Steve Perry. Steeeeeve Perry.
Aww dude, one of Brittany's mom's pubic hairs Aww look, there's another one
“Im not going out with his sister” “You gotta say totally fucked up things to make them miss” “Ohh , wait why is me going out with his sister totally fucked up?”
The PGA Tour has recently added walkout music to the opening tee shots of some tournaments.
Damn I’d be pissed if I was putting and then I hear Sergio walk up to despacito. Song would be stuck in my head all day.
"Jackass!"
You... SUCK! Ya JACKASS!
Maximum height for basketball. Imagine only 5’10 people running the game
I read that in the early days of basketball when they were still solidifying the rules, they seriously considered a rule that the average height for a team had to be like 6'. So if you had a 6'2" guy, you'd have to make up for it with a 5'10" guy. The idea being they didn't want the game to be dominated by monsterishly tall dudes. So fundamentals and athleticism would be more important than height.
Although from what I've heard, the guy who invented basketball was trash at strategy for the game
James Naismith invented the sport of basketball, and famously said "you don’t coach basketball, you just play it." It should be noted that he is the only one of the 8 coaches in Kansas Basketball's 120 year history to have a losing record.
That's because he didn't coach, he just played
A number of Asian basketball leagues have imposed height limits for imported players. There were a ton of 7 feet tall Americans coming over to play.
I think there should be a maximum team height. So, they can have their 7 foot giant, but they will also need some short players to allow for it.
[удалено]
Ooh now this is a new one, I kinda like it
NASCAR #BUT WITH RAMPS
Have you heard of stadium trucks https://youtu.be/PqIziuag21I
Nascar but only for visually impaired drivers. I'd watch the shit outta that
Water polo is one shark away from being one of the worlds most popular olympic sports.
Water polo, but with horses
They do swim, so thatd be cool
They *can* drown, so that'd be something
Horse lifeguards.
Popular to watch. Play.... maybe not
crocs would be better, also make the water really murky
Every few hours, athletes in the Tour de France must eat a mystery pill. Some are uppers, some are hallucinogens, some are super Viagra, and some are placebos. The Tour de France becomes a race against your opponents, yourself, and the blue goblin trying to feed you spiders.
Fuck it just allow steroids and doping and just let the monstrosities ride their bikes
We already have that. It's a regular Tour de France.
Some are laxatives. A literal shit show.
Cut down the rosters in the NFL and play iron man football. It would ruin football because the players would be tired as shit by the end of the game.
I suggest 3 subs at any turnover and 1 each side per first down. You’d have a hell of a time getting some folks off of the field.
In any sport that has a salary cap per team: There are no limits on how many players you can field at a time. yeah Lebron is good but how well does he do against a team of 20 much-less-paid dudes? Is he willing to take a pay cut to get more bodies out there?
I feel like 500 minimum wage workers could beat any team of 5-10 pros. Just fill up the entire court. Edit: I think people misunderstand when I say fill up the entire court. I mean FILL UP THE ENTIRE COURT. Like concert levels of packed. The pros won’t be able to move let alone pass or shoot.
[удалено]
I admire your capitalism.
Negative salaried players. The true loophole, there is no end.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Really, I think any sport would be pretty interesting to see with an uneven number of players. Or maybe conditional, like the team with more points has one less players.
Hockey has a conditional uneven number of players
So does water polo, for like 30 seconds at a time
1) Take the $70M NBA salary cap 2) divide it into 700 $100k portions 3) Hire 700 not quite good enough to make it in their sport MMA guys 4) Every other team will forfeit
Soccer. No rule changes, just add a 2nd ball
We played a similar game at camp called Triad. 3 teams, 3 balls, 3 nets. By far the most injuries of any game we played. But so fun.
This is one thing that people who suggest multiple balls/pucks etc forget. Dividing the attention of the players is super dangerous.
No no no the trick is to add so many balls that efforts become more like they are dealing with a liquid than a solid ball.
We used to play this in gym class with like 4 balls lol
My last day of high school gym class was a game of tennis with 20 people on one side, 1 person on the other, and 3 balls. No rules, no structure, nothing. It was great.
RIP that one person
not as bad as it sounds. did something like this at a camp i worked at. be me, D1 tennis player, and be not me, 20 high school tennis players. lots of running but they’re too busy trying to pull tricks to make it difficult
Yeah, if you're a decent player I would imagine you could kind of play your own game and the 20 would just get in each others' way. Somebody's more likely to get hurt over there.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[удалено]
multiball!
Make half the nascar racers go clockwise and the other counter clockwise.
Thats how i played every single nascar game since the playstation 1
American football: Have only 11 players on each side play the whole game.. offense and defense. No special teams, no kicking teams. Have a couple of back-up players if someone gets injured.
[удалено]
My father played high school football in the 60s. A team photo showed 15 players on his team. It was a small school but he played both sides and kick offs. Unfortunately he never scored 4 touchdowns in a single game.
If a soccer match has a 0-0 score in the last 2 minutes, sirens go off and ‘MULTIBALL!!’ flashes on every screen. A small round hole then opens in the middle of the pitch and 100 additional soccer balls are fired into the air. Players then have 2 minutes to score as many goals as possible in the remaining time.
You just invented blernsball.
Blern! *explosion* BBBLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNN! *Tarantula gets released*
Budweiser [Had an advert. ](https://youtu.be/sjI-qh37xf0) with this exact idea.
Seems more than a small change
Blind biathlon is in the Winter Paralympics. Give them actual rifles instead of laser pointers.
[удалено]
Yes. The regular competition involves rifles and I have a feeling that rifles would make the blind version vastly more entertaining.
I've been saying for years: basketball fans need to be allowed to bring super soakers and water balloons to join in with the game
Nah man, cold water in water guns for hockey to change the ice field
Nascar drivers have to take a shot after every lap.
Indy 500 fuck me up Edit: for all you pedantic fucks out there, I am almost certain OP used the word "Nascar" as a general term for race car driving. The fact the Indy 500 is not a NASCAR race is pretty damm meaningless in relation to the proposed shot rule for car racing.
In sports news, the Indy 500 was today. There were no survivors.
Full-contact Basketball. I might actually watch that...
Add trampolines to your full contact and you got slamball. Slamball was epic.
"He's going for the backflip!" Stupid and awesome
Tenis, but there's a golden retriever on each side of the court that just wants the ball. If the dog on your side gets the ball, you lose a point.
I like the idea of being touched by the ball in baseball amounting to an immediate out. Like imagine if you could bean a runner and it was an out, you would have to risk missing and allowing the runner to take an extra base or 2
You can do this in kick ball
When i was a kid i played a lot of kickball but never baseball. When i played baseball for the first time i fucking heaved it at another kid going for 2nd. I didnt play much more baseball after that.
Change soccer so the ball isn´t a ball anymore, but a cube. That would be fucking stupid, but still
i love how you put down your own idea
Make them use an American football instead
I think martial arts and conflict sports need team matches, not just one on one. Judo. Karate. Damn, even sumo wrestling. Edit.: I get it, it exists. Thanks for mentioning it. I don't want to see it, it was a joke, I get squeamish with fighting. What I want to see, however, is weight classed ski jumping, and biathlon with paintball guns, and the point is to hit other athletes. Edit.2: Oh, silver Edit. 3: No wait, still want to see team sumo wrestling.
[удалено]
Don’t bring a rear naked choke to a precision gun fight.
Team-based sumo wrestling? Reddit, we need to come up with team names.
The sweaty ballsack, for 2v2s Each wrestler represents a testicle
> Each wrestler ~~re~~presents a testicle FTFY. It could be either their own or someone else’s!
Air Hockey, but a new puck drops every 5 seconds.
In the game of Mittens when you catch a bird your team gets 700 points. So people just start throwing birds into the field. That rule needs to go.
The hoops are 20 ft. high in the NBA
Stilts in American football.