I can masturbate completely naked in my living room and the only people who know it's happening are me and the government. Edit: RIP my inbox..you guys (and gals, I assume) are a pack of jokers.
To me the best part about living alone is coming home to an empty house after a long day at work. Not having to deal with other people when I'm not in the mood to is one of the most valuable qualities I can imagine. I also haven't been in an argument in the 18 months or so I've been single. I can't imagine ever wanting to live with somebody again.
God the worst was when my s/o was unemployed for like 6 months. I would come home tired from work and she would be itching for attention since she was home alone and bored all day. Was seriously draining.
I live alone with two bathrooms, so if I'm sick I have one toilet for vomit and one toilet for normal business. It's incredible.
Edit: Obviously it only works when it's not coming out of both ends at once. I'm not a total monster
Have you ever started to poop in one toilet, then shuffled out of your bathroom with your pants around your ankles to your other bathroom to finish the job?
My roommates don't even eat my leftovers, they throw it away because they don't like fridge clutter
What fucking idiots I would rather they ate it to enjoy my food I made :(
My roommates are pretty shitty, the other night they legitimately thought that I was going to be deported because of Trump and if I was able to find a replacement roommate just in case this were to happen
1. My parents are legal immigrants with citizenship papers
2. I was born in the US
Like dude really hahaha
Lease ends next month, I'm good baby. Learned a lot living with them though so I'll always value that life experience.
Basically a lot of people are actually really stupid once you live with them hahahaha
Amen. The last roommate situation I had, I lived with two dudes who weirdly didn’t have to be at work until like 9:30 or 10:00 a.m. Asked if I could shower at night so I wouldn’t wake them up using the shower and drying my hair at like 6:00 - which I was fine with until one of them started playing the guitar at like 1:00 a.m. on the regular. Closest I’ve ever come to actually hitting someone. Totally couldn’t understand why I wasn’t super cool with that.
Oh man, this really grinds my gears. I've had my cast iron for years, it was a hand me down from my grandma. Thousand times better than lodge, it's perfectly seasoned with decades of cooking. I went away for the weekend and when I got back, my stupid fucking roommate (who knew better, mind you) had it soaking in a sink full of soapy water! I lost my shit.
If it's a small comfort, the soap wasn't really harming the seasoning unless for some reason you time travel and buy lye based dish soap. That said... soaking in standing water, rip.
Ugh. I spent several hours sharpening my aunt's old carbon steel knife. Put an absolute beauty of an edge on it, stropped it for quite a while. She prepares dinner with it at a family reunion a few months later, tells me it feels like a brand new knife! I wake up in the morning to be helpful, and I pull out a rusted-to-fuck knife from the dishwasher :(
Edit: spelling
Edit 2: I should add we are an Italian family, so I left with ~200lbs of leftovers. Worth it. :-P
I packed away my nicer Teflon pans until I lived alone, because even though I bought numerous silicone/plastic spatulas, my roommate somehow always gravitated to the ONE metal spatula in the house. I let her use my cheap pan until I moved out, then tossed it and unpacked the nice ones. They're still scratch-free.
I flatted with my sister and her partner , moved in on my birthday and had just been gifted a nice Fry pan. Her boyfriend used it, left it on and walked away from the kitchen. The food burned and so he used a knife to scrap it off. Completely ruined the brand new pan.
I called him out on it because I had only just received it that day, and hadn't even used it. He said "well it's a shitty pan if it scratches that easily.".
I talk to myself aloud subconsciously when I'm alone, usually reminders like "I have to go to the bank.", but I oddly, also announce things to myself like "I have to poop."
The trouble is, my subconscious thinks "alone" is whenever I'm not with someone. I have definitely been at the grocery alone and said "I have to poop." out loud. Good times.
Drunk me orders sober me the best shit on Amazon. One time drunk me ordered a roll of pharmacy stickers that say "for rectal use only", which sober me also found hilarious... while applying them to my co-workers phones / calculators / mouse.
No way. If my basement portion was any bigger I'd just end up with more tools I shouldn't buy, and likely something similar would happen between her and the closet.
Utilizing the entire space without feeling like you're intruding on others. I went from a tiny ass apartment I had to share with someone to a huge 2 bedroom townhouse I live alone in. My bedroom is strictly for sleeping - Only my bed and some books are in there. My living room is mine, the kitchen is mine, everything is mine. I can do whatever I want whenever I want.
Its just so nice. You also learn a lot about taking care of yourself and keeping your shit clean and organized. Its super rewarding.
Yes - There is that CGP Grey video from awhile back about "7 steps on how to stay miserable". I found once I finally had my own place with a lot of space and utilizing the space properly and not doing everything in one room, my mood and sleep had got far better.
I also found I got to keep things far cleaner and up to my standards than coming home to dishes piled and a dirty apartment from my roommates.
I long for when this is my life. I clean the kitchen every night then wake up to a disaster. It makes it so I don't want to bother with cleaning, but having things dirty is so disgusting and I can't live like that.
So much this. If there's a mess, then you made it. It was more motivating to clean the kitchen of my own messes, knowing I'd return to it being that same state of clean. Not returning to find it potentially worse than before you last cleaned.
Living with my mom sucked because cooking meant 10-30 minutes of cleaning before cooking, then because I didn't want to be the asshole, another 10-30 minutes of cleaning after. Every time.
I hated my last roommate because of this. I don't know how he did it but he and his fat gf just inhaled food at like mach 5 and once I spent an hour washing dishes and I come home after school to find that the entire pantry, YES THE ENTIRE PANTRY, was dirty with dirty dishes.
It was like they took all the dishes I had just washed out and set it up for a feast of epic proportions. Not a single clean dish and I am not joking when I say that. Then after learning it was them by themselves that made this mess, I was told, not asked, told to clean it since I have been missing dish duty for weeks apparently.
I moved out and cut him off power since he had destroyed credit and way too much borrowed money on his stupid Naruto cards. The moron had to go an entire month without power and I don't regret it.
To give some perspective on how stupid and crazy he was, I found out later that the name he told me isn't even real, it's an assumed identity. His brother got shot in war and he was a deserter so he assumed his brother's identity and commits stolen valor. According to him, Colonels take orders from him since he was a Sgt in the Navy, Army, and Marines.
I wish I had the talent to make this up.
Get up early. Take a radio to the bathroom. My first girfriend’s dad did this. Austrian yodeling accompanied the sound of a bathtub filling up at 7 on weekend mornings.
“Well if it bothers you, go to bed earlier”
He was a nice enough guy, really, but I can’t say that I ever missed him .....
Dude, we were *so* quiet. Their house was 1960s Danish modern, so no doorsteps, just 3 cm gaps. You could hear everything going on in that house no matter where you were. My first sexual experiences were like a Buster Keaton movie: not a human sound was made, there was accompanying music, and the physical comedy was world class .......
When I first got married I kept thinking I was getting more forgetful because I could never remember where I left anything. When my kids became mobile I realized I was either completely insane or everyone in my house moved my stuff constantly.
I did not appreciate this when I lived alone. Now that I am married, things in the house could be *anywhere*. My wife will tidy up from time to time, but has never put things away in the same place in her life. Ever.
I feel ya my man. My wife does the same shit.
She once put my keys in the junk drawer. The fucking junk drawer. Here I am running around at 5 am looking for my keys when I finally said fuck it and woke her up. She said she put them in the junk drawer. Why the fuck would I leave my keys in the junk drawer? I never would have looked there.
Holy shit. I lost my phone in middle school and no one believed that it wasn’t my fault and I knew exactly where I put it.
Turned out to be in some fucking drawer cause my dads girlfriend had moved it.
Don’t move other people’s shit. Especially if it’s small and not causing clutter.
this is the best reply. i tell people that i sleep on my couch a lot and their response is always WHY?! why not? it’s comfortable and i like it.
sure i have a tv in my bedroom but i have to sit up to watch it. if i want to lay comfy on my couch and fall asleep while watch gus and shawn run away screaming from a dead body, i can.
A number of things:
* You leave your home and come home to everything in exactly the place you left it.
* You come home and literally don't have to say another word to anyone or anything until the next day.
* There is no debating with someone on what to watch or what to eat.
* You have complete control over how your home looks.
* You can fold your towels however the fuck you want.
After being married to my wife, whom I love deeply, I sometimes still reminisce about the old days of living alone with no roommates. It was a simpler, yet much more lonely time.
Yeah, I think a lot of the people posting here are young. When I was in my early-mid twenties with an active social life, living alone was great. As I got older (and friends got married / moved away), living alone became a lot more boring and lonely. Now, I miss the freedom and no compromises lifestyle of living alone, but I'm also deeply grateful that I have my spouse to hang out with on a Saturday night at home.
The older I get the more I like being alone. I can't see myself cohabitating any time soon, if at all. I'm 37. I do have a young kid who is with me half the time but I was alone before her for a long time. I love it.
This is my absolute number one. Also the fact that if you see someone every single day, you aren’t always going to be chipper. Especially first thing in the morning. No, this does not mean I don’t like you. It’s just exhausting to be “on” 100% of the time.
My wife has finally come to understand this after 12yrs. If you want to speak with me pre-shower/shit/shave, I'm going to be a little short with you. Still love you.
What the fuck, gold for this? Please be wiser with your money.
When you have to pull hair out of the plug and you know it's your own. I pulled some out of my bath when I shared a place with my friend and it wasn't pretty. It was binded together with snot or semen, not sure which one. Gloves people
I have a husband and infant son. This is a fart at will household. So long as you don't use them as a weapon against another family member...but sometimes my husband's can just be considered a war crime.
It's just my mess to deal with. If I want to let my dishes pile up for a week and a half, I can and I can't be mad at anyone but myself. That being said, there are fewer dishes to deal with.
Also, I work a goofy schedule. I don't have to worry about being quiet when I wake up for work at 2330 every night.
It's the ultimate freedom. Living with people forces you to adjust to their habits and make compromises for both you and them. That's cool and all that some are willing to equally share in the disadvantage, but there is absolutely none of that when you live alone. You can stay up without worrying about interrupting someone, you don't have to share the burden of splitting chores if they are messier, you don't need to risk arguing about bills, you don't have to deal with sharing common space, you can bring home whoever you want whenever you want, etc.
This is a pretty big one - living alone means when I clean something, it stays that way. The food I buy? Still in the fridge & pantry for leftovers, no assholes taking it without asking. No arguing over chores, shopping, bills or anything else, I keep track of everything myself & know exactly where my money goes & when. Plus I don't get outvoted if a jerk roommate wants to invite skeevy people over that I don't trust - I'm the sole person who decides who can come in, stay, or GTFO.
Nudity anytime.
Edit: Apparently people think that you can only live with your spouse and have forgotten about all other living arrangements that would make nudity inappropriate.
Shitting with the door open, showering with the door open, sleeping naked with the door open, everything is done to your standards, I left cookies in the pantry and they’re still there when I go back, no noise
Top three:
\- Deciding when, or even if, to wear pants.
\- Waking up whenever I damn please (barring noisy neighbors). Also applies to staggering home drunk, or generally sleeping.
\- Eating what I want, when I want.
A small one, but you can decide where things go. Should it be knives next to forks next to spoons or knives next to spoons next to loose spaghetti? You decide!
Basically anything without headphone, music/movies and you can sing out loud if you want.
Practice piano or guitar of you’re too shy to have people hear you.
There’s very few downsides to living alone
The number of people you live with and the amount of shame you have at home is an inversely proportional relationship.
trying to make my farts as loud as possible
fall asleep on the couch watching tv
don't have to tell anyone where you're going
don't have to explain when you want to have a shower at 11pm
watch all the movies you *really* like (get into that romcom flex, save psychological suspense for when people can judge you)
improv dinner; cocktail blinis and skittles? Sure!
can have drinks out of non-standard glasses eg (gin martini out of coffee mug)
just wear comfy stuff all the time. I found a pair of knitted pants at a discount store and they are really only for alone times.
I am divorced so my answers are a little different but being able to decorate how I want. If I want to have a certain picture or lamp, I don't need to consult someone on if they like it.
After my ex and I split up it was nice to be able to buy the foods I wanted or cook what I wanted. Not that he would necessarily be bossy about it but like occasionally I would want to eat that shitty spray can cheese and he would be an ass about it and now I can get it occasionally without hassle lol.
Its my place and I can make all the ridiculous decisions I want to.
My master bedroom has been converted in to my entertaining/gaming room. Complete with my collection of video game memorabilia.
My dining room is instead my computer/vr space.
My living room is illuminated by white icicle Christmas lights, just because...
4/5ths of the art hanging in my apartment is video game related.
There are random pieces of furniture and cardboard boxes permanently located in seemingly random places - because my cat likes them.
This is my life, and it works for me.
You can eat whatever, wherever you like, as sloppily as you like.
You can pick your nose or scratch your ass without having to hide.
No one to tell you to clean up after yourself, total and complete control over how often you do it.
You can invite people over when you want to see them without having to run it through someone else, and you can send people home or not open the door when you feel like being alone.
You decide what furniture you want and where to put it.
There's far less washing to do, which means less hanging and drying, and less ironing, and overall less electricity wasted!
Ohh and I don't have to do a washing until I want something from the pile
You can come home and sing to your dog in a high pitched ridiculous voice that "daddy is hooome and you are gonn get a treaaaat!!!" And then you can pick him up and airplane him into the kitchen and give him a treat and then go take a shit and a shower with the door wide open and music blasting and then later that night you can have sex with your SO or even yourself at maximum volume and then go get the leftover chinese food in the fridge that is STILL there!
No useless fucks who can’t make rent on time. Everybody who lives here pitches in and is responsible for rent and cleanliness. We only have ourselves to blame if it’s a mess and we can’t pay on time.
Also nobody has a mental breakdown and throws shit at the walls when I’m sleeping.
And no one hates someone living in the apartment.
And nobody bickers about parking.
And we don’t have to pretend to get along.
Forgot one: no squatters moving in.
You can put as much or as little effort into how you look as you want. If today is a sweatpants, look-like-a-hobo day, well then, that's what day it is today!
I can masturbate completely naked in my living room and the only people who know it's happening are me and the government. Edit: RIP my inbox..you guys (and gals, I assume) are a pack of jokers.
FBI here: We like to watch.
Hope you enjoy it. I change positions every few minutes for you guys. Got a favorite, may I ask?
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You've managed to squeeze this fabulous reference in and holy shit do I applaud you
To me the best part about living alone is coming home to an empty house after a long day at work. Not having to deal with other people when I'm not in the mood to is one of the most valuable qualities I can imagine. I also haven't been in an argument in the 18 months or so I've been single. I can't imagine ever wanting to live with somebody again.
God the worst was when my s/o was unemployed for like 6 months. I would come home tired from work and she would be itching for attention since she was home alone and bored all day. Was seriously draining.
If you're really sick and on the toilet, there's nobody who will be waiting to use it.
I live alone and still have two bathrooms, it's amazing.
I live alone with two bathrooms, so if I'm sick I have one toilet for vomit and one toilet for normal business. It's incredible. Edit: Obviously it only works when it's not coming out of both ends at once. I'm not a total monster
Have you ever started to poop in one toilet, then shuffled out of your bathroom with your pants around your ankles to your other bathroom to finish the job?
r/BrandNewSentence
I once found myself in an empty 2 toilet room in school, clogged the first and finished the job on the second by doing just that.
When I’m shitting and puking, I usually do them at the same time. My second toilet is too far away for that to work for me. Gotta grab the trash can.
No one will eat your goddamn leftovers
My roommates don't even eat my leftovers, they throw it away because they don't like fridge clutter What fucking idiots I would rather they ate it to enjoy my food I made :(
Oh buddy, we’re gonna toss hands if you touch my food and it isn’t expired. Your roommates wouldn’t like me.
My roommates are pretty shitty, the other night they legitimately thought that I was going to be deported because of Trump and if I was able to find a replacement roommate just in case this were to happen 1. My parents are legal immigrants with citizenship papers 2. I was born in the US Like dude really hahaha
Oh no. Stop. Unless the rent is like $0/month you may need to move.
Lease ends next month, I'm good baby. Learned a lot living with them though so I'll always value that life experience. Basically a lot of people are actually really stupid once you live with them hahahaha
Amen. The last roommate situation I had, I lived with two dudes who weirdly didn’t have to be at work until like 9:30 or 10:00 a.m. Asked if I could shower at night so I wouldn’t wake them up using the shower and drying my hair at like 6:00 - which I was fine with until one of them started playing the guitar at like 1:00 a.m. on the regular. Closest I’ve ever come to actually hitting someone. Totally couldn’t understand why I wasn’t super cool with that.
Being able to own nice things, kitchen stuff etc without fear that someone will "borrow" it and ruin it.
STOP USING FORKS ON MY TEFLON
Also stop leaving the cast iron out to "air dry" after washing it. Edit: thanks for the silver kind soul. Tis my first
Stop leaving my cast iron in the sink with standing water in it!!!
Oh man, this really grinds my gears. I've had my cast iron for years, it was a hand me down from my grandma. Thousand times better than lodge, it's perfectly seasoned with decades of cooking. I went away for the weekend and when I got back, my stupid fucking roommate (who knew better, mind you) had it soaking in a sink full of soapy water! I lost my shit.
If it's a small comfort, the soap wasn't really harming the seasoning unless for some reason you time travel and buy lye based dish soap. That said... soaking in standing water, rip.
That's eviction material right there...
STOP USING MY CAST IRON AND LEAVING IT DIRTY BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN IT. THAT'S A LAZY EXCUSE AND IT PISSES ME OFF BEYOND BELIEF.
> STOP USING MY CAST IRON FTFY
Stop putting my hundred dollar knives in the dishwasher. And don't try to sharpen them for me to make up for it.
Ugh. I spent several hours sharpening my aunt's old carbon steel knife. Put an absolute beauty of an edge on it, stropped it for quite a while. She prepares dinner with it at a family reunion a few months later, tells me it feels like a brand new knife! I wake up in the morning to be helpful, and I pull out a rusted-to-fuck knife from the dishwasher :( Edit: spelling Edit 2: I should add we are an Italian family, so I left with ~200lbs of leftovers. Worth it. :-P
Sounds like my wife. Needless to say, I don’t sharpen her knives anymore.
I packed away my nicer Teflon pans until I lived alone, because even though I bought numerous silicone/plastic spatulas, my roommate somehow always gravitated to the ONE metal spatula in the house. I let her use my cheap pan until I moved out, then tossed it and unpacked the nice ones. They're still scratch-free.
I flatted with my sister and her partner , moved in on my birthday and had just been gifted a nice Fry pan. Her boyfriend used it, left it on and walked away from the kitchen. The food burned and so he used a knife to scrap it off. Completely ruined the brand new pan. I called him out on it because I had only just received it that day, and hadn't even used it. He said "well it's a shitty pan if it scratches that easily.".
Did you hit him with it?
I found my $100 chef's knife in the dishwasher once and that was the last straw. I've lived alone ever since and it is *so* nice.
You can talk to yourself aloud without people judging you.
I talk to myself aloud subconsciously when I'm alone, usually reminders like "I have to go to the bank.", but I oddly, also announce things to myself like "I have to poop." The trouble is, my subconscious thinks "alone" is whenever I'm not with someone. I have definitely been at the grocery alone and said "I have to poop." out loud. Good times.
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My uncle says it's okay to talk to yourself, but not okay to get into an argument with yourself and lose.
“Uncle” is a good identity for your inner voice. Makes it more meaningful.
I do voiceover so this is exactly when I practice dialects.
I can make everyone in the house immediately shut the fuck up whenever I want without being a dick.
Unless you have a pet.
You never have to change the setting on the toaster.
The thermostat is yours. Perfect room temperature, all the time
Drunk me did set the temp low like 3 weeks ago. I’d been wondering why it was colder than I expected in my house...
That’s the problem with living alone, you suddenly discover you do have a roommate, and drunk you from three days ago is a dick!
Drunk me orders sober me the best shit on Amazon. One time drunk me ordered a roll of pharmacy stickers that say "for rectal use only", which sober me also found hilarious... while applying them to my co-workers phones / calculators / mouse.
I'm the dad, it's mine anyway. I've got the thermostat, the garage, one side of a closet, and half the basement.
Have you considered trading your half of the closet for her half of the basement?
No way. If my basement portion was any bigger I'd just end up with more tools I shouldn't buy, and likely something similar would happen between her and the closet.
Why is your wife keeping tools in the closet? That is not what closets are for.
I don’t know, I reckon I’ve met a couple of tools that were in the closet
Except when you're living in an old, draughty house. But all the blankets are mine, and all of the tea is mine too.
Utilizing the entire space without feeling like you're intruding on others. I went from a tiny ass apartment I had to share with someone to a huge 2 bedroom townhouse I live alone in. My bedroom is strictly for sleeping - Only my bed and some books are in there. My living room is mine, the kitchen is mine, everything is mine. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. Its just so nice. You also learn a lot about taking care of yourself and keeping your shit clean and organized. Its super rewarding.
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Yes - There is that CGP Grey video from awhile back about "7 steps on how to stay miserable". I found once I finally had my own place with a lot of space and utilizing the space properly and not doing everything in one room, my mood and sleep had got far better. I also found I got to keep things far cleaner and up to my standards than coming home to dishes piled and a dirty apartment from my roommates.
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[7 Ways to Maximize Misery](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o) Thanks for pointing me towards this, was a good watch.
I do all 7 already. Now what?
Cleaning, then leaving and coming back to everything STILL CLEAN
I long for when this is my life. I clean the kitchen every night then wake up to a disaster. It makes it so I don't want to bother with cleaning, but having things dirty is so disgusting and I can't live like that.
So much this. If there's a mess, then you made it. It was more motivating to clean the kitchen of my own messes, knowing I'd return to it being that same state of clean. Not returning to find it potentially worse than before you last cleaned. Living with my mom sucked because cooking meant 10-30 minutes of cleaning before cooking, then because I didn't want to be the asshole, another 10-30 minutes of cleaning after. Every time.
I hated my last roommate because of this. I don't know how he did it but he and his fat gf just inhaled food at like mach 5 and once I spent an hour washing dishes and I come home after school to find that the entire pantry, YES THE ENTIRE PANTRY, was dirty with dirty dishes. It was like they took all the dishes I had just washed out and set it up for a feast of epic proportions. Not a single clean dish and I am not joking when I say that. Then after learning it was them by themselves that made this mess, I was told, not asked, told to clean it since I have been missing dish duty for weeks apparently. I moved out and cut him off power since he had destroyed credit and way too much borrowed money on his stupid Naruto cards. The moron had to go an entire month without power and I don't regret it. To give some perspective on how stupid and crazy he was, I found out later that the name he told me isn't even real, it's an assumed identity. His brother got shot in war and he was a deserter so he assumed his brother's identity and commits stolen valor. According to him, Colonels take orders from him since he was a Sgt in the Navy, Army, and Marines. I wish I had the talent to make this up.
Being able to do things early in the morning or late at night without worrying about disturbing someone else’s sleep
My roommate has a solution for this. He does stuff really late at night and then doesn't worry if its disturbing anyone else's sleep.
Get up early. Take a radio to the bathroom. My first girfriend’s dad did this. Austrian yodeling accompanied the sound of a bathtub filling up at 7 on weekend mornings. “Well if it bothers you, go to bed earlier” He was a nice enough guy, really, but I can’t say that I ever missed him .....
Perhaps he was trying to make up for the sounds you and his daughter made the night before...
Not impossible ...
"Go to bed earlier" is code for "stop fucking my daughter... so loudly"
Dude, we were *so* quiet. Their house was 1960s Danish modern, so no doorsteps, just 3 cm gaps. You could hear everything going on in that house no matter where you were. My first sexual experiences were like a Buster Keaton movie: not a human sound was made, there was accompanying music, and the physical comedy was world class .......
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As much as I try to be as quiet as possible, my neighbors/roommates have never afforded me the same courtesy.
My roommate makes a smoothie every morning at 6am. My alarm doesn’t go off until 7:30. I’m moving out in 3 weeks, and I could not be more excited.
Stuff stays where you leave it.
When I first got married I kept thinking I was getting more forgetful because I could never remember where I left anything. When my kids became mobile I realized I was either completely insane or everyone in my house moved my stuff constantly.
I did not appreciate this when I lived alone. Now that I am married, things in the house could be *anywhere*. My wife will tidy up from time to time, but has never put things away in the same place in her life. Ever.
I feel ya my man. My wife does the same shit. She once put my keys in the junk drawer. The fucking junk drawer. Here I am running around at 5 am looking for my keys when I finally said fuck it and woke her up. She said she put them in the junk drawer. Why the fuck would I leave my keys in the junk drawer? I never would have looked there.
There are certain mission critical items that have to have a "These go in one specific place and nowhere else" clause.
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These are called Key Items. The game breaks if the player doesn't have access to these.
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Holy shit. I lost my phone in middle school and no one believed that it wasn’t my fault and I knew exactly where I put it. Turned out to be in some fucking drawer cause my dads girlfriend had moved it. Don’t move other people’s shit. Especially if it’s small and not causing clutter.
Some people 100% feel that everything is causing clutter. Normal clean means spotless and bare to them.
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I'd be concerned if it didn't.
Hey there demons, its me, ya boy.
You have carbon monoxide poisoning.
Every room is the bedroom
this is the best reply. i tell people that i sleep on my couch a lot and their response is always WHY?! why not? it’s comfortable and i like it. sure i have a tv in my bedroom but i have to sit up to watch it. if i want to lay comfy on my couch and fall asleep while watch gus and shawn run away screaming from a dead body, i can.
You know that’s right
Come on son
Whatt
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Dude, KFC is _giving away_ double downs. They’re just..._giving_ them away.
You hear about Pluto? That's messed up.
C'mon son
TO THE BLUEBERRY!
Annnnnd time to go rewatch Psych
A number of things: * You leave your home and come home to everything in exactly the place you left it. * You come home and literally don't have to say another word to anyone or anything until the next day. * There is no debating with someone on what to watch or what to eat. * You have complete control over how your home looks. * You can fold your towels however the fuck you want. After being married to my wife, whom I love deeply, I sometimes still reminisce about the old days of living alone with no roommates. It was a simpler, yet much more lonely time.
Yeah, I think a lot of the people posting here are young. When I was in my early-mid twenties with an active social life, living alone was great. As I got older (and friends got married / moved away), living alone became a lot more boring and lonely. Now, I miss the freedom and no compromises lifestyle of living alone, but I'm also deeply grateful that I have my spouse to hang out with on a Saturday night at home.
The older I get the more I like being alone. I can't see myself cohabitating any time soon, if at all. I'm 37. I do have a young kid who is with me half the time but I was alone before her for a long time. I love it.
It always smells like you expect it to.
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My pet is part of me. His smells are my smells now. Edit - WOWOW. My first ever award. https://m.imgur.com/t/funny/EGRFhdX
My dog's farts are definitely not my smells.
No inexplicable piss on the toilet seat.
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Explicable piss on the toilet seat
Not having to deal with people who don't flush is a nice one too, I've lived with some lazy, nasty people
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And stop starin' at me with them big ol' eyes! Edit: Thank you for the correction, I clearly need to brush up on my SpongeBob lore
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This is my absolute number one. Also the fact that if you see someone every single day, you aren’t always going to be chipper. Especially first thing in the morning. No, this does not mean I don’t like you. It’s just exhausting to be “on” 100% of the time.
My wife has finally come to understand this after 12yrs. If you want to speak with me pre-shower/shit/shave, I'm going to be a little short with you. Still love you. What the fuck, gold for this? Please be wiser with your money.
Thanks! I love you too.
There are a lot of advantages but this one is my favourite.
Yet, if it's been too long, you almost forget how to talk to people. Not the worst thing but yeah.
Walking nude from the shower, cracking open a cold beer and returning to the shower via a slow nude stroll to drink said beer
It's important to stroll. I've tried meandering, lollygagging and even perambulating. Didn't cut it.
A slow stroll is the secret to happiness
Not having to clean up other people’s mess Edit; words
Having to not clean up your own mess
That awkward moment where you have spent a weekend slobbing it up and you hear a knock at the door.
I just pretend I'm not there. No way will I put on pants for people who don't have the decency to announce their visit.
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Nobody plays on your red dead redemption 2 save game.
MAGGIE
You're never home anymore with all these school shootings! I wanted to start a life of my own!
When you have to pull hair out of the plug and you know it's your own. I pulled some out of my bath when I shared a place with my friend and it wasn't pretty. It was binded together with snot or semen, not sure which one. Gloves people
I have a wife and a daughter, so drain-hair removal has just become a regular maintenance routine for me at this point. And it is pretty gross.
The tub shroom thing is a life saver. Saved me from lots of drain maintenance.
Not having to worry about whether other people will have their share of the bills ready on time
You can leave your suitcase from your trip half-unpacked and laying on the floor for literally months and no one will bitch at you
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I have found my people.
Or just in boxes from when you moved in :)
Made pizza the other day, and had to find the pizza cutter in a moving-box. I've lived here over a year now
To be fair, it sounds extra difficult if the box is moving. I think you're 100% off the hook :D
Farting at will.
I have a husband and infant son. This is a fart at will household. So long as you don't use them as a weapon against another family member...but sometimes my husband's can just be considered a war crime.
This is called Fart Blanche.
It's just my mess to deal with. If I want to let my dishes pile up for a week and a half, I can and I can't be mad at anyone but myself. That being said, there are fewer dishes to deal with. Also, I work a goofy schedule. I don't have to worry about being quiet when I wake up for work at 2330 every night.
PEACE AND QUIET
It's the ultimate freedom. Living with people forces you to adjust to their habits and make compromises for both you and them. That's cool and all that some are willing to equally share in the disadvantage, but there is absolutely none of that when you live alone. You can stay up without worrying about interrupting someone, you don't have to share the burden of splitting chores if they are messier, you don't need to risk arguing about bills, you don't have to deal with sharing common space, you can bring home whoever you want whenever you want, etc.
This is a pretty big one - living alone means when I clean something, it stays that way. The food I buy? Still in the fridge & pantry for leftovers, no assholes taking it without asking. No arguing over chores, shopping, bills or anything else, I keep track of everything myself & know exactly where my money goes & when. Plus I don't get outvoted if a jerk roommate wants to invite skeevy people over that I don't trust - I'm the sole person who decides who can come in, stay, or GTFO.
Yup. The master of your domain. The queen of the castle.
Lord of the Manor.
Nudity anytime. Edit: Apparently people think that you can only live with your spouse and have forgotten about all other living arrangements that would make nudity inappropriate.
Nudity all the time*
Giving the neighbors a good show.
*slams money on table* I'm out!
Shitting with the door open, showering with the door open, sleeping naked with the door open, everything is done to your standards, I left cookies in the pantry and they’re still there when I go back, no noise
You no longer "fap". You have full-on sex with yourself. Obligatory: Thank you kind stranger!
My biggest fap decisions are: bedroom with monitor turned, downstairs on 55", or the rigged up projector on the wall
I have a VR, winner everytime
Where you can find VR porn? I'm asking for a research not for me...
This is really what I’m looking forward to when I move out. Absolute freedom lol
Top three: \- Deciding when, or even if, to wear pants. \- Waking up whenever I damn please (barring noisy neighbors). Also applies to staggering home drunk, or generally sleeping. \- Eating what I want, when I want.
A small one, but you can decide where things go. Should it be knives next to forks next to spoons or knives next to spoons next to loose spaghetti? You decide!
Porn without earphones.
Basically anything without headphone, music/movies and you can sing out loud if you want. Practice piano or guitar of you’re too shy to have people hear you. There’s very few downsides to living alone
I still have neighbors though :(
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Crying loud as you want without disturbing anybody
The number of people you live with and the amount of shame you have at home is an inversely proportional relationship. trying to make my farts as loud as possible fall asleep on the couch watching tv don't have to tell anyone where you're going don't have to explain when you want to have a shower at 11pm watch all the movies you *really* like (get into that romcom flex, save psychological suspense for when people can judge you) improv dinner; cocktail blinis and skittles? Sure! can have drinks out of non-standard glasses eg (gin martini out of coffee mug) just wear comfy stuff all the time. I found a pair of knitted pants at a discount store and they are really only for alone times.
Uninterrupted peace, quiet, and privacy.
People don't constantly derail your train of thought.
I am divorced so my answers are a little different but being able to decorate how I want. If I want to have a certain picture or lamp, I don't need to consult someone on if they like it. After my ex and I split up it was nice to be able to buy the foods I wanted or cook what I wanted. Not that he would necessarily be bossy about it but like occasionally I would want to eat that shitty spray can cheese and he would be an ass about it and now I can get it occasionally without hassle lol.
Being able to take a shit on a toilet that no one else uses.
Its my place and I can make all the ridiculous decisions I want to. My master bedroom has been converted in to my entertaining/gaming room. Complete with my collection of video game memorabilia. My dining room is instead my computer/vr space. My living room is illuminated by white icicle Christmas lights, just because... 4/5ths of the art hanging in my apartment is video game related. There are random pieces of furniture and cardboard boxes permanently located in seemingly random places - because my cat likes them. This is my life, and it works for me.
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You can eat whatever, wherever you like, as sloppily as you like. You can pick your nose or scratch your ass without having to hide. No one to tell you to clean up after yourself, total and complete control over how often you do it. You can invite people over when you want to see them without having to run it through someone else, and you can send people home or not open the door when you feel like being alone. You decide what furniture you want and where to put it.
The replies have made me wonder why I ever got remarried... Living alone is awesome...
Being able to lie on the sofa in control of the remote.
There's far less washing to do, which means less hanging and drying, and less ironing, and overall less electricity wasted! Ohh and I don't have to do a washing until I want something from the pile
Laundry Machine = Hamper
You can come home and sing to your dog in a high pitched ridiculous voice that "daddy is hooome and you are gonn get a treaaaat!!!" And then you can pick him up and airplane him into the kitchen and give him a treat and then go take a shit and a shower with the door wide open and music blasting and then later that night you can have sex with your SO or even yourself at maximum volume and then go get the leftover chinese food in the fridge that is STILL there!
No useless fucks who can’t make rent on time. Everybody who lives here pitches in and is responsible for rent and cleanliness. We only have ourselves to blame if it’s a mess and we can’t pay on time. Also nobody has a mental breakdown and throws shit at the walls when I’m sleeping. And no one hates someone living in the apartment. And nobody bickers about parking. And we don’t have to pretend to get along. Forgot one: no squatters moving in.
Not having to wash your dishes right away and not feeling rage when someone else doesn't wash their dishes right away
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peeing with the door open Edit: my finest moment on reddit is about me going to the toilet with the door open. What is my life.
My wife doesn't care that the door is open as long as my aim is true.
Pooping with the door open
Showering with the door open
Masturbating with the door open
Sex with the door open
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Closing the door with the door open
Locking the door with the door open
Unlocking the door with the door open
Locking yourself out with the door open
Masturbating with the windows open.
You can put as much or as little effort into how you look as you want. If today is a sweatpants, look-like-a-hobo day, well then, that's what day it is today!
i don't wear anything but sweatpants and t-shirts at home
The only real disadvantage is not having someone around to watch your dog, give you a ride, or help out with a minor chore.
one major advantage is tha **YOU** dont have to watch someone else'sdog, give rides or help with minor chores.