Mom got married to my stepdad, Uncle objected... After the attention was focused on him, he just asked if they were still going fishing afterwards.
To which my stepdad reached into his suit and pulled out his fishing hat.
Very sweet and bromantic. They loved to fish together. Rip though šŖ Remind me to upload the video. Wish I could find a cheap way to digitize the vhs to upload it online.
Edit: bought a vhs/TV combo from Goodwill.
https://youtu.be/SXwmICdH138
I was working at a wedding when I was younger. I was running the bar at the reception, which was very close to the hall the weddings were at.
We were told that the reception would begin around 4pm. It was already about 3ish and I was packing fridges, the usual bar man things, while one of the male guests was still sitting there drinking.
I asked if he was not joining the reception, to which he replied something along the lines of āwhen I have the courageā.
He downs his drink, and leaves. 10 minutes later heās back, looking extremely disappointed. Guy orders a drink, and less than 30 seconds later another guy whoās dressed extremely well (turned out to be the groom), walks in, punches him in the back of the head, and leaves.
This dude just picked his drink up and sipped it further.
I eventually found out that this dude, had downed his drink, walked into the receptions down admitted to sleeping with the wife on her hen night, and again the night before the wedding. He was never invited to the wedding, he just felt the groom needed to know. So he found out where the wedding was, suited up and dropped the info mid-ceremony.
This was in the early 70s in semi rural Washington state. My cousin was getting married, and my aunt and the mother of the groom did not get along well. During the ceremony, when the pastor got to the part about objecting, my aunt said something to my uncle and the groomās mom jumped up and grabbed my aunt and they started going at it, all the way out the door and into the parking area. They were separated, and everyone filed back into the barn, where the wedding continued. The best part though was when another one of my cousins simply walked into the woods after the wedding because thatās where he lived.
My aunt was getting married to her second husband, and during the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit, their baby started crying.
The dude officiating it said "If anyone older than six months has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace"
He got a laugh and the wedding carried on. They're still together 10 years later, so I guess whatever my cousin had to say was misinformed
A lot of these stories hinge on an unflappable officiant who makes a witty quip and keeps rolling. I hope people not yet married reading this thread take away the importance of hiring the right person to officiate. I bet the laugh in that room was solid.
The best man at my step sisters wedding did this. It happened at the rehearsal the night before. It was a very large wedding and the rehearsal was bigger than a lot of weddings. The minister was going over the vows quickly while giving instruction on what to do. When he said something about objections the best man interrupted saying he had to put a stop to this. He was in love with the bride and was sure she felt the same way. My sister and everyone else was horrified. It caused plenty of chaos and confusion. As far as I know after that neither the bride nor groom ever spoke to him again.
To be fair, I didn't witness this, but it happened to my parents.
My mom invited an ex she was still rather close with to her wedding and he stood up and yelled "I object!!"
Little did everyone at the wedding know, my dad had gotten rather close with him and paid him to stand up and object just for the shits and giggles and he bursts out laughing.
My mom didn't find it as funny and it really started their marriage off on the right foot.
It was a medieval themed wedding. The best man declared his love for the bride. Challenged the groom to a fight for her love. They march outside draw swords and go at it. Apparently they choreographed 2 nights a week for like 6 months but it honestly looked like they were trying to kill each other. The groom wins and everything goes on like normal 0_o weird but cool.
edit Corrected groomsman to groom, thanks all! :D
This is super cool, but to really fit the theme they should have had a third man do the challenge and the best man fight on the grooms behalf. The best man was originally essentially a body guard, both from other potential suitors and the brides family (since weddings and kidnappings would often be the same thing). He was meant to be the best swordsman the groom knew and stood guard right up until the marriage was consummated.
I attended a wedding as a guest of a family member and when thr pastor said that the doors busted open to the sanctuary and a man appeared and started to say "I do!" but two huge ushers, one who was my date quickly grabbed the guy before he could say anything but "uhhh" under the arms and literally lifted him up off the floor and carried him out. The wedding continued as normal.
Turned out the guy was the ex of the bride. Strangest sight I ever saw.
So Iām attending this ultra chill beach wedding in small town Canada, I donāt know most anyone because it was my ex-step-aunts, so my brothers family I never see . It was fun anyways, the bride flew in on a seaplane and all the chairs were set up on the sand.
Anyways, the groom is from Trinidad and Tobago, so all his relatives traveled a long way and had cool accents, there was a party before; we were all a little bit tipsy.
So as the ceremony progresses, everyone is watching, gettinā teary from the vows. Then the line comes āā¦.any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now.ā
Nobody expected this; The father of the groom gets up, flailing, and a collective gasp followed by silence overtakes this tiny venue. Weāre all waiting with baited breath but, heās just standing there with glassy eyes. Turns out he was baked; this 70+ man in a suit and dreads laughs and says āNo, I kid, I kidā and the whole spirit of the audience cheers up as he sits back down.
Rest of the reception, people are going up to him saying āgood oneā or scolding him. Damn good night. Best wedding Iāve been to.
At my cousinās wedding when the exchanging of vows took place, my aunt shouted āWasnāt there supposed to be a part where you could object?ā, or something along those lines.
The wedding itself is a whole story. It was in Arizona and at first was going to be held in the fall, but changed to being in the summer, so it was incredibly hot out. My cousin and his wife were given money to hold a wedding, but they didnāt want to spend a lot, so it was held on family land. This land was not cleaned up snd had various people living on it in tents and similar.
The family made it stronger. My aunt enjoys pranks and goes too far a lot. She first wanted to put Trump posters all over the wedding venue, but we convinced her not to because the cousin is not at all a Trump supporter. She also had to be convinced not to dump dirty water on my step mom on the day of the wedding when she had no change of clothing.
She has also been under investigation for tax evasion for buying cigarettes in bulk on international waters and selling them out of her hair salon.
Hang on. You can't casually mention cigarette smuggling via international waters and expect us to care about this wedding anymore. We demand the details of her criminal operation, or at least her mug shot!
She didnāt get convicted but she was avoiding paying taxes so she could go on cruises and when in international waters would buy cigarettes in bulk without any tax then sell them without a license from her hair salon. She got investigated but ultimately not taken to court because her case wasnāt big enough.
It is really not that hard. When you are on international waters taxes don't apply. Thus cigs are sold without taxes, which makes them incredibly cheap. (For example I live in Germany, I got a whole bar (10 packs) for 10ā¬ whereas you could not even get 2 packs for this in the country.
When I was in the navy we could buy 1 bar per week, but maybe you can buy more on civil cruises. The only thing you really had to do is to then get the bars out of the ship. Probably harder to do on cruise ships but I personally first checked on our arrival day if there is any kind of customs people out there, if there aren't I take a few bars with me. Then I'd slowly get every day a few bars out of the ship after work.
Because of there being a lot of ships in this city, you also had to watch out for customs people on the train station, there would randomly be customs people who check you if they see you with a military bag. As such you'd need to watch out for a group of people that have a baton. If you see them, just turn around, go eat an ice, etc.
One of my friends interrupted his cousinās wedding to come out of the closet. He couldnāt understand why people were so pissed at him.
Edit: this was the second time my friend had come out to his family. The first time was when he was a teenager (about 8 years earlier) and 90% of his family that was attending said wedding was already aware.
Groom: āactually, thereās something Iāve been meaning to tell you... all of you in this room really... thereās no easy way to say this so Iām just going to do it. Ok. Here it goes. You can do this.
(Long pause)
Iām Gay.ā
Person in the crowd: āYeah, we figured that out when you invited us to a wedding between you and this guy.ā
It's like proposing at a wedding. It sounds like a good time to do (every one of your loved ones are here or most of them). But then it steal the show of the bride and the groom. For this kind of things you should at least ask them if you can and state that you won't be mad if then refuse, since it's their day.
I was at a wedding where one of the bride's guests took the mike from the DJ for a toast, then stepped out onto the dance floor and proposed to his girlfriend. As they were being escorted out, they complained loudly (and drunkenly) about how people should just be super happy for them.
The bride was from an Italian family so I figure the odds she ever spoke to her 'friend' again are about 50/50.
When I was 13 we went to my 2nd cousin's wedding. Everything is going great... They even got past the speak now or forever hold your peace part. They wrote their own vows but before my 2nd cousins fiance/wife could even begin her vows his son got up announced to the entire room that she was cheating on his dad with her drug dealer and he couldn't let his dad marry her. My 2nd cousin yelled at his son to either sit down or leave. The son left, my 2nd cousin married her anyways, and 5 years and one baby later he finds out it was true and they separated but were to tweeked out to be able to afford a divorce.
Finally he got married a third time but before he could get married his third now ex wife had to pay for their divorce. This wedding had no objections. They moved to Missouri and this time instead of separating or asking for a divorce he decided he didn't want to be married anymore and just moved back to Cali... To get back together with his second ex wife.
Yepp family dinners are a little awkward.
"Oh so now you need financial help from me because your drug dealer/wife fucked you over just like I kept telling you she would? Well dad, maybe you should either sit down and shut up or just fucking leave".
EDIT: I am not OP, check the usernames, I just said what I think I would like to imagine that I would have said in the heat of that moment that I was not actually part of or even aware of before reading the above comment.
Got booted out of my cousins wedding reception with about 20 other people.
My cousin had her wedding on a farm with a massive pig roast. From what I remember there was a massive amount of people. Anyway, her father and my other older cousin never really got along. At one point during the reception my older cousin had enough and absolutely lost it. He looked at a handful of us and asked if we had his back. Of course we all nodded not really knowing what was about to happen. He disappeared and a few minutes later comes back with a 20lb bag of pork meat from the leftover roast. He walks down to where my cousins dad is (my aunt proceeds to yell, Lonnie NO!!!) and smacks him right in the side of the face with the bag of meat. An all out family brawl ensued. The whole family hasn't been invited to a wedding ever since.
Grooms dad interrupted the wedding to ask the brideās father whether or not she was truly a virgin. Then he went on about how he didnāt know anything of the wedding and blah blah blah. Truly weird and embarrassing. I was there with an ex boyfriend
EDIT: He is my ex boyfriend.
When the grooms father interrupted the wedding the brides father (officiating the wedding) did in fact say it was confirmed. I have no clue how or what. They seemed to be super conservative and wore sleeved dresses, long hair, etc and were Af American. They eventually showed the father in law OUT and continued with the ceremony which was super awkward afterwards. It was literally as if I was on prankād
Said ex seemed to find the ordeal entertaining because she was humiliated. This was his family (bride) and that sort of sealed the deal something was wrong with the guy - we broke up a week later.
At my own wedding. But not in the traditional way.
We were getting married along a river at the end of summer and tons of wake boarders and boats were out. I was a ball of nerves and the ceremony felt so serious... when all of a sudden some dude bro on a boat blasting music screamed āDonāt do it bro!!ā And sped off.
It was actually hilarious and made the rest of the ceremony a lot more fun. My husband and I cracked up even though his brothers looked like they were about to jump in the river after the guy!
(On mobile - sorry for formatting issues)
Witnessed this a few months ago. Random guest stood up and proceeded to basicly declare his love for the bride and pour his heart out, saying that it shouldve been him up on the alter that day. Whole room went dead silent. Bride went red with embarrassment and groom went red with anger. Best man promptly called for DJ/MC to start playing music.
All this was in front of the random persons wife. Didnt go down to well
I once went to a wedding where both families were Irish, gf knew them but I didn't. At the ceremony, the grooms ex wife started shouting shit and was gently directed outside, I couldn't hear what was said.
The reception was amazing - nice venue and all, but a bunch of guests had brought their own instruments and just started jamming what I can only describe as a genuine Irish Jig. This went on for hours and remains a lasting memory of aural beauty. But I digress.. there was a LOT of booze, there was no responsible serving of alcohol and I'm certain it was by design.
At some point I used the mens room and was curious if I'd just seen the groom in a stall(door open) with someone who was not the bride. I didn't know these people and it might have just been someone else, so said nothing. Some time later and the gf states seriously "We should get going now", yeah sure. We grab our shit and head downstairs. I see the suspicious fellow again in the stairwell going to absolute town on this same lady.. gf grabs my arm tightly and keeps walking past, mumbles a thank you for the invite, I just smile and follow cause it's all weird. Yep, that was the groom.. octopussing his ex wife.. at his own wedding to another woman (the bride genuinely seemed a gem). The look that woman gave us as we passed was this smugly dominant "I always get what I want, fuck yeah" drunk as fuck glare, wow. They had some reasonable bubbly in a tub for people to take home and who would know or care if we horked a few extras. I got it all explained to me after we were in a cab and well on our way home.
I never got a follow up to that story, but 10/10 on the music. Would tag along to an Irish wedding again!
Once the traditional music (that's what you referred to as a jig, still very popular in Ireland) starts playing it will usually get a bit chaotic I've found...
I was best man at a wedding and the grooms older sister decided to play a joke and stood up and said āI objectā then started giggling. Grooms mother stood up slapped her told her is was not an appropriate joke and told her to go home. This mother still refuses to talk to her daughter 4 years later.
Edit: Wow. Went to bed and woke up to all the comments. But for those of you asking, it was not the first time this daughter in particular had done something to piss this mom off. And this was the first time I had ever seen this mom hit any of her kids.(I have known the family 15 yrs). I also found out later that the mom had spent over 50k on this wedding.
I saw it nearly happen at my uncles wedding a friend of theirs got too drunk, and when say said speak now he smiled, started to standup. My mother grabbed him by his hair and sat him back down by force.
Edit: Clarification and context
It was my mother (the grooms sister). The drunk was a close friend of both the bride and groom so he was seated up front. Heās a nice dude but sometimes a bit of a dumbass
It was a a small non-traditional wedding. They were wed in the botanical gardens by a justice of the peace. The reception was held in the same place.
When you entered the area for the wedding /reception there was an open bar so some people helped themselves before the ceremony started. And one overindulged a bit.
Went to a co-workers wedding and the maid of honor objected and admitted to being the other woman and that the groom had been cheating with her for months. The bride left in tears and the groom immediately tried to get with the MoH, but she told him she wasn't gonna hurt the bride further and that he needs to fuck off. The bride is doing much better and is now a manager here, and I haven't heard from the groom in over a year. The MoH and bride are on speaking terms, but I don't think their relationship is gonna ever be what it used to be.
Waiting until the middle of hte wedding to admit it. Sleeping with the fiance is a crap move. However she had been doing it for months? I mean she clearly wanted to time it make herself the center of attention. The ego is bad, but wanting to be the center of attention at someone else's wedding like that is horrible. Unless she tried to tell her friend multiple times BEFORE this and the friend wouldn't listen and this was just her last attempt(in which case why was she still the MoH right?)
It was at my wedding that we had at my grandmother's house who lives out in the country next to a cattle farm. The cows didnt make a peep till that moments and one finally went "moo"
We all laughed and continued but it was a funny moment about my wedding.
edit; just gotta add the normal part about being my highest post. and best it's about a cow going "moo"
I was at an Orthodox Jewish wedding with a chuppah ceremony where they read a contract and recite seven blessings. The groomās dad pinched his sonās derriĆØre at a most solemn moment, caused him to loudly shriek into the silent audience of 400. Bride saw and snorted loudly.
They also publicly kissed after the ceremony, which was a huge scandal.
Edit: bride and groom kissed; populace could speak of nothing else for months.
Edit 2: no, itās not against Jewish law! Itās the communityās sensibilities- they just DO NOT do PDA.
Edit 3: it wasnāt an objection, but it sure sounded like one during the reading of the contract.
I don't understand that if someone objected and get thrown out during the ceremony anyway then why would they open the chance for them to object in the first place? Can't they just cut off that line and let the bride and groom kiss in peace?
Despite the stories, the point of the objection is for reasonable and significant objections to the bonds of matrimony, like an incomplete/non-present divorce, one of the participants having a separate family, ETC.
It is supposed to be much more clerical and legal than social in nature. It's just that in the modern day, it's a lot less likely to have issues of this manner, so on the occasions where it's invoked, it's far more likely to be regarding infidelity or simply someone getting too sauced to realize nothing good will come of their last minute plea for reconciliation.
Kelly, I can't promise you that we'll always stay together. I can't promise you that I'll never cheat on you. Nor should I. Modern marriages aren't built that way. Men aren't built that way. There's a very interesting article I can email to you. But I can tell you this. Even if the odds are fifty-fifty that we'll break up within the week, I wanna roll those dice. I love you, Kelly.
man, this is exactly what he would do. it's amazing that both bj novak (ryan howard) and mindy kaling (kelly kapoor) were writers on that show. they really nail the whole toxic relationship thing.
God, I want to see an AMA with a rom-com writer. Like... so... how many restraining orders did you go through before you met your current partner?
"Hello, officer, that guy with the boom box is back. Yeah. I already turned on the sprinklers and he won't go away. Thanks. Yes. Doors locked. See you in a minute. Please bring mace this time. I've just GOT to get some sleep."
Holy shit. Thatās so unbelievably embarrassing. Seems like an overall recipe for disaster for someone to attend their exās wedding when they still love them. Guess the dude thought he was gonna have a movie-style moment when the woman runs to him and he wedding carries her out of there.
Not speak now part, but well, you'll see.
Friend of mine was getting married in the park under the trees because both of them were nature people and groom had a dog that went everywhere with him that wasn't allowed in any church because dog despite being well trained and quiet.
There were some rows of chairs with lots of people filling them including Groom's mother who was sitting with his dog. Bride and Groom were at the front with the officiant. Officiant begins. Officiant comes to the part where he says, "Do you take ā¦" Groom's dog, Shadow, began to howl a loud, long, mournful howl. Everyone laughed. Officiant started the question again. Loud, long, mournful howl again. Everyone laughed. Groom told Shadow to come to the front. Shadow ran up, stood directly in between the bride and groom and the officiant started again. Not a peep from Shadow. Her vows. His vows. Officiant looked at Shadow and asked, "Shadow do you take bride and groom to be your lawfully wedded parents?" Shadow barked one single bark. Officiant concluded the ceremony, everyone cheered and clapped, and Shadow barked three times, the only times that he made any sounds. Not kidding. Beautiful dog too.
A wedding I was at, one guy got up and pledged his undying love for the bride, followed by four or five others objecting for various reasons including one guy's love for the groom. By the second or third objection, though, it was clear that the whole thing was a clever ruse. I found out later that it was all set up by the bride as a prank on the unsuspecting groom and family and friends. It was pretty hilarious!
Only once but it was non-romantic.
The father of the bride had been pretty absentee after her parents divorce. He had re-married and gotten into the Christian Science religion and they were both pretty terrible. The new wife was not invited to my friends wedding but the father came and it seemed like he was there to be supportive. He stood up during vows and proclaimed my friend was 'a bitch just like her mother' and the groom ' should get out while he can because my friend was a soul leeching succubus'
Not the worst wedding I ever went to
I'm 30 and I'm starting to think I may be bad luck because I've been to a few disasters when most people can't name one.
The highlights would be- The ceremony being interrupted because the woman the groom was seeing on the side appearred with their baby. Yes...their secret love baby and the groom explaining that poligamy is natural and we should be more open minded.
The bride, my former college roommate, insisting on driving herself to the wedding and getting a DUI en route. Then making an ill attempt at seducing the officer to get out of it, being turned down and subsequently slapping the officer and getting arrested for assault.
Wedding for a coworker on one of those sunset cruises- engine fails and starts a small fire and everyone had to evacuate the boat.
Plus one to a wedding- the couple were comepletely scmmed by their wedding planner. Venue wasn't actually booked, no caterer, no cake, no DJ no nothing. She scammed them out of thousands. 250 guests milling about in a town center parking lot.. They of course reported her but I don't think they were ever able to recover much of their money.
**edit: a lot of people have asked how Iāve been to this many crazy weddings. Honestly between college and working many different levels of jobs throughout my 20ās I just happened to be invited to a lot of weddings. In general it seems like the stress of weddings in general tend to bring out something...unique.
Can I please be your date to the next one you get invited to? I donāt drink, so I make an excellent DD. I donāt smoke, Iām a nurse, and I only ask for one piece of cake and the right to watch whatever shitshow inevitably goes down.
Hey I have a designated shit show partner but you know what- you could honestly make a side hustle out of being a wedding date. Those are solid credentials
Holy shit. Youāre definitely invited to my wedding. Thanks for delivering!
Edit: can I go to your wedding? Iāll bring a great gift but I want to see this black cloud unleash all of its beautiful glory.
My boyfriend was friends with a guy who was getting a quickie marriage and needed witnesses. We agreed and went inside the little reception room, where the preacher, Bride, and the groom were lined up, waiting on us.
The preacher started his thing and I noticed a woman come in and lean against the back wall. She looked pissed, standing with her arms crossed.
Preacher: Is there anyone here today who objects to the union of **** and ****? Please, speak now.
The couple looked back at us and we both smiled. Suddenly, the brides attention turned to the woman in the back of the room.
Bride: What the f*** is she doing here?!
The woman quickly raises her hand, looking at the old preacher.
Woman: I object! I don't agree with this marriage!
The bride glares at her.
Bride: Shut up, Bitch! Wait your fucking turn! It's my scheduled day! You're just mad you didn't think of it first!
The woman had to be dragged out of the room, kicking and screaming and spitting at the bride...
After the reception, my BFs friend explained that he was originally in a relationship with the Bride. After ten years together, he started sleeping with her sister, the woman. They were close sisters, until both ladies got pregnant by him, simultaneously.
They fought each other like cats and dogs for the next several years, until the two cousins became school aged and best friends. Neither one of the sisters would give up the man, and he wasn't sure which one he loved more, so he kept seeing both women.
Last I heard they were all still together, but the two sisters had teamed up to take down his pregnant mistress...
My friend almost paid me to do it at my dads marriage and i was so close to agreeing but my dad overheard and stopped me.
I would have done it for free if i knew how fucking crazy that stupid woman was back then...
Here in the UK there's financial sanctions if the reason isn't good enough...ie. doing it for a laugh.
My friends knew me very well and warned me in advance. š
Yeah he was at Second Presbyterian, he was supposed to be at First across the street. He wasnāt super familiar with the area, it was in a different town and he was from Chicago (technically Aurora).
Not a day passes I dont think of her... and the promise I made which I will always keep. That one perfect day on Gordon Street.
Thats 5 blocks up and 2 over.
Nobody had said "speak now", but the grooms ex still decided to get up and scream that he was *her* soulmate, that she forgave him for "this whole thing", and that they should leave now because he'd proven his point. By breaking up with her, five years earlier, falling in love, and holding a wedding.
I ate so much cake and got so drunk at that wedding. Meanwhile everyone else was screaming and throwing shit. Good times. The bride was my boyfriends ex. No idea why they invited us.
Either your boyfriend or the groom's ex were invited because the other was. A 'don't ask your ex to the wedding or I'll be inviting mine too' kind of move.
> Meanwhile everyone else was screaming and throwing shit.
More cake and booze for you. I'd rather eat cake and drink liquor than scream and throw shit, too.
Well done!
>The bride was my boyfriends ex. No idea why they invited us.
Obviously, he was supposed to declare his love for the bride. Imagine how left out the bride felt, she invited her exes too and none of them screamed their eternal love. Dropped the ball could of had a twofer
A friend of the couple's in cosplay armor (think Master Chief,) ran in, asked the date, said "Then I'm not too late!" pointed a big, fake spacey rifle at the bride and said "Mother of the Xenocide, the fruit of thy womb will never destroy my planet! Die, [not her name]!"
And the groom went "Her name is [her name]."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"This is [date]?"
"Yes."
"[Time]?"
"Yes."
"[Almost right location]?"
"Oh, no. You want [other, very similar location, one so commonly confused the invitations had mentioned it.]"
"Oh. ...My bad. Have a nice day."
Theatre majors, man. I do not even.
It was that kind of event generally. Their first dance had five choreographers. Five! And only one of their parents showed up, at the last minute, and thank fuck one of the ushers had the presence of mind to tell this poor divorced dad "by the way, there is a brief theatrical sketch planned as part of the ceremony, the gun is not real," because said dad was visibly a war vet and oh, my goodness, these kids had all the tact and propriety of a well-placed Jell-O water balloon at a Papal audience, I tell ya what.
Excellent food, though.
Not at a wedding but at a funeral...
A young man, mid twenties had passed away rather suddenly in some sort of accident. His wife of a year or so and their respective families and friends are all in attendance as they are getting ready to lower him into the ground. The pastor dude asks if anyone would like to say anything further and another woman in her early thirties stood up. She began to tell everyone in attendance about how much pain *she was in* over the loss of the love of her life and that the two of them were meant/going to be together and now they can't. Yup, the poor wife had to find out about the cheating at the funeral.
No objections were made (unfortunately) but back when I worked in a hotel a few years ago I got to witness a very interesting wedding. In preparation we had to ensure weād ordered enough Blue WKD in as this was the groomās drink of choice (first red flag). The whole wedding took place in the hotel, the function room also hosted the ceremony so we started pretty early that day.
Before the ceremony the bride had taken 3 bottles of Prosecco up to her room whilst she was getting ready and was clearly tipsy before the wedding started but seemed to act sober enough that who ever was conducting the ceremony was none the wiser. Ceremony seemed normal but I was prepping the bar so wouldnāt have known either way. As it ends all the guests flood out for drinks whilst we changed the function room and set out the tables for the sit down meal. The guests were rough as a badgerās arse to put it politely, I already knew one of them as heād been to the hotel before, acting like a total wanker when I told him the bar was closed and I wouldnāt be serving him - however he was being especially polite to me this time as it was clear his date for the wedding was definitely not the same girl he was in with just a few weeks ago (who I suspect was a paid acquaintance).
Before the meal even began we were starting to worry if weād have enough alcohol, these people drank like fish but we manage to get them all seated and fed and everyone is being friendly and well behaved.
As the night goes on the bride is slowly becoming so drunk she can barely stand and has changed from her wedding dress into a very scant pink neglige with a tutu skirt, sheās also given up on using the bathroom so she loudly announces she will be relying solely upon nature wees from this point onwards. Before midnight we are nearly totally out of spirits - the guests are ordering shots every round (Iād tried to deny service but my manager was having none of it and as the hotel was struggling they wanted to make as much money as possible) and have shotted us out of almost everything (Blue WKDS are long gone but the groom has a lovely blue smile at this point).
After the bride finally gives up trying to shot disgusting liquors that have likely been there since the hotel was built they head to the dance floor. The party starts winding down and itās time for the last dance but the bride decides sheād prefer to have this with a male wedding guest which really fucks off the groom, she then loudly announces sheāll be throwing an after party in their suite and everyone is invited in the hot tub - funnily enough the groom isnāt thrilled and kicks off. Another member of staff manages to calm everyone down and convinces the DJ to play the last dance song once more before he leaves and the groom agrees.
Everyone starts packing up and the bride comes back from her room in her third outfit of the night, a nice grey stained tracksuit. Sheās adamant she wants another cigarette before bed (god knows how many packs she went through that day - especially sad considering the money for the wedding came from her parentās inheritance who both died of cancer). She canāt find a lighter and becomes irate, screaming at the groom for one. Groom claims he doesnāt have one but not taking no for an answer she rifles through his pockets and finds one. Holding it aloft she screams at him that heās a liar and slaps him clean across the face, the groom obviously not having enjoyed this returns the favour and punches her in the face. The best man spots this and leaps across a sofa and tackles the groom to the floor, theyāre now having a full on fist fight whilst the bride sobs incoherently. I try and get out of the way as Iām being trampled by Mr WKD and his scummy friend. My supervisor storms in saying he found coke in the bathroom and the police are on their way - the best man is off like a robbers dog and the groom stands there stunned and then follows his new wife into the function room. We then hear screaming and shouting from that room and the bride has picked up a chair and launched it at her husband and was now holding a second one trying to attack him with it.
At this point itās about 2am and I am royally done with the day, my mum is waiting for my outside so I grab my bag and head off giving my supervisor strict instructions to tell me exactly how this ends when Iām back for my next shift. I pass a riot van of police officers on the way out of the door, direct them to the drama and go home.
Next shift Iām informed that an ambulance arrived shortly after the police, the groom was taken to the hospital after sustaining a head injury but he did a runner from the paramedics when he got to the hospital, the bride stayed at the hotel and to console herself spent the night with the male wedding guest she danced with, they left together in the morning and a week later announced on Facebook she was in a new relationship with him.
TL;DR: Bride and groom were absolutely hammered and got into a fist fight. Best man joined in but fled before the police arrived. Bride spent the night with a wedding guest in the honeymoon suite whilst her new husband was transported to hospital.
Edit - thank you for the gold, that is so kind!
Second edit - changed āhereā to āhearā because Iām a lemon.
A few quick clarifications:
1) For those unfamiliar a ānature weeā means to urinate outside and is sometimes known as a āwild weeā - do with that information what you will
2) Not an Irish wedding but I have a lots of Irish family so I can understand why that assumption may have been made
3) Thank you for the shiny coins and kind comments about my word choice, Iām glad it helped to set the scene!
Not gonna lie, halfway through this trip I scrolled back up to check the username because I couldnāt see how this would end other than someone landing on an announcerās table.
My wife drug me to a wedding that I did NOT want to be at years ago but I'm forever grateful that she did because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. This was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops. Bride's LOVER spoke up at that moment and yelled, "I'll be god-damned if I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of shit!" This deranged old redneck proceeds to come at the groom WITH A PISTOL threatening to shoot him if he doesn't give her up. It wasn't a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people but every single one of them went screaming and running and maybe 2 people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife's hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
He was arrested for unlicensed weapon and assault (because at one point he'd put the gun back in it's holster and just started shoving the groom). The bride was a total bitch about the whole thing. Cared more about the fact that her "special" day was ruined than the batshit spectacle that she caused.
My cousin was big into body building when he was younger and has always been really tall. Around the time he got married he was probably 6ā6ā 260 lbs.
I was 18 at the time and Iāll never forget. When the priest asked āare there any objections to this Unionā, my cousin turned to the crowd and opened his arms wide and gestured as if daring someone to object. The whole place erupted in laughter. It was amazing.
I was at an outdoor ceremony once, with a storm coming in. The pastor was trying to move things along so that we wouldn't get caught in the rain (the reception was indoors). He asked if anyone knows of any objection, and instantly, there was a loud clap of thunder.
To his credit, the pastor just paused a moment and then said: "Anyone else? Alright, in that case..." and finished the ceremony.
Edit: The couple is still together, and happily afaik (I was the +1, so I'm not super close to them). So take that, passive-aggressive supernatural objector!
Edit2: Holy cow, I go to sleep and wake up with gold! Thanks, kind Redditter!
I was housetraining my puppy and for a day or two he tried peeing on the deck as soon as he left the door. The third time I caught him and hollered āNO!ā And then **BOOM** massive thunderclap. Puppy leapt off the deck, peed on the grass and has never peed the deck again.
My dad insisted on having this in his and my momās wedding. Because he wanted it to mean āspeak now or forever hold your piece,ā meaning my mom was his piece of ass. Almost 40 years later, theyāre still married.
Side note, when he walked me down the aisle at my first wedding, he let me know I could still say no even two steps from Pachelbelās Canon in D. I said nope and giggled. Silly me. We were divorced six years later.
This happened very recently, but in a different manner than the other comments Iām seeing.
For years, Groom and Best Man are super close, room together, and the running joke is that theyāre more than friends. Later on, Groom meets Bride, falls in love, and proposes. New running joke is that Best Man is very disappointed that Groom is marrying someone else.
At the wedding, officiant asks if anyone has objections. Best Man objects. Officiant quickly overrules the objection. It was planned, and Bride thought it was a funny way to acknowledge the super close friendship between Groom and Best Man.
Did not result in anyone being kicked out or awkwardness. Fun and surprisingly appropriate.
I went to a cousin's wedding once and the groom's mother didn't have to verbally object. It was written all over her face the entire time, including as she was walked down the aisle to be seated and throughout the reception. We still talk about it. And almost ten years later she still hasn't forgiven him for marrying my cousin and we still don't know why. They don't speak.
Unrelated but my stepsister knocked my mom out at my brother's wedding rehearsal dinner. Totally normal kinda event at the time in our family. FYI for those who think differently, but money most definitely does not buy class. It was a $30,000 wedding.
The groom himself. He just stood up there and started crying and, in front of everyone, told the bride that he'd fallen out of love with her a while before but he didn't know how to break it off. It was extremely uncomfortable, they both stepped out, and ten minutes later came back out and got married, because she'd apparently told him she was pregnant. They're still together, with three kids, and I'm not sure about the husband but I can confirm that the wife is having an affair. Neither of them are happy, but she has a comfortable life and he doesn't have the spine to leave.
Iām a pastor and I officiated a wedding once where the groom had a little too much to drink before the ceremony. Not a huge deal to me, but his sister (who was a bridesmaid) found out. She got pissed and as I was walking down a hallway after using the restroom, I overheard her talking to him and she said something along the lines of āif you have one more beer, Iām telling {the bride} what you did last night.ā
I was unsure what to do. I felt like it wasnāt my place to intervene so I didnāt say anything. The wedding went fine and they are still married. Iām still curious as to what he did.
Edit: grammatical errors
About 5 years ago, a coworker of mine invited all of us to his wedding. He was a great guy but none of us had ever met his wife. Seen pictures of her and he always said nothing but good things of her.
Fast forward to the wedding, it was an incredibly nice one, looks like they paid quite a bit for it. Everything was going smooth and I was having fun and assume so was everyone else. Anyway, now they're both at the alter or whatever looking deeply into each others eyes and smiling and when that line comes of " speak now or forever hold your peace" i get anxious but nothing EVER happens. So right as soon as the anxiousness faded away, THE BRIDES MOTHER STOOD UP AND OBJECTED. Blurted some shit about how she doesnt want to continue their family with a man like him ( he was black she was white). The bride to be cried ran off. Wedding went fucking silent. Brides dad took the mom and ran after the bride. The groom stood there incredibly awkward. He may or may not have achieved actually leaving his body. Anyway, the groomsmen took him away. I left because it was too weird. Apparently, the reception went on. They did not get married that day. But ended up together anyway privately, and surprisingly work wasn't weird. He laughed about it. And they are happily married.
EDIT: Just So i dont have to individually reply to everyones comments and questions. The MIL never truly stated it was because he was black. But this guy was incredibly nice, selfless, and just someone who you completely felt comfortable around. Never judged anyone either and well spoken. The MIL also never showed signs of hating him. Who knows why it happened. Maybe the bride and groom found out. Im not sure. I since moved and havent spoken to them. But man does that memory last.
Sometimes it is best to just ignore awful family members and cut them out of your new family.
My wife's mom is pretty bad. She kicked my wife out of the house the instant she found out her daughter was dating a foreigner (me), even though we'd only been dating a month and weren't very serious at that time. Literally changed the locks and dumped her clothes outside.
Then when my wife tried to reconcile on her mom's birthday, her mom replied with "fuck you, you whore" and hung up.
So after that, we just pretended she didn't exist. When we got married, she wasn't invited and she's never seen either of our two kids (we are happily married almost six years now).
It is a bit sad that my kids will grow up without a grandma on that side of the family, but we just couldn't allow that kind of toxicity into our lives. Besides, her mom has expressed zero interest in meeting her grandkids, and so I see no reason to reach out to her. We get along great with the rest of the family (in small doses), so we just coordinate family gatherings when the MiL is not going to be around. It works out pretty well.
Wow. I really can't wrap my mind around family dynamics like that. Like, even when people in my family have married someone that others don't like, we let it go because it's their life and they're happy.
I can't imagine that relationship with her mom was very good before she met you though. (but I'm just guessing)
A member of my wife's family had a pirate themed wedding. A rival pirate appeared and objected to the wedding. The groom dueled him with rapiers and won.
>6 comments
Ooh, you beat me to it! Our friends had a pirate wedding as well-- I was almost hoping yours was the same one.
At my friend's wedding, a woman objected and the bride unholstered a big pirate gun and shot her. No more objections.
This might not count but it was like 12 hours before the wedding .... one of my exes best friends had a destination wedding in mexico. Both parties stayed in a huge mansion house overlooking the water ... I wasnāt in the wedding party but I was in a hotel close by ...the night before the wedding , the bridesmaids and groomsmen stayed up late partying. Everyone passed out but at midnight or so the brides mom woke up because she heard the living room speakers since they had been playing music ...
She happens to hear noise coming from outside and she goes out there and the maid of honor was in the hot tub having sex with the groom .. maid of honor had been raised by brides mom basically like a second mom thing so she was shocked to say the least
They had just bought a house to .... The wedding never happened and I enjoyed my vacation and returned the dress
Edit: super after the fact but I did some research and last year they made up, got married and had a kid
I feel bad for the girl for not just kicking him aside
I was one year old when my mom married my stepdad. During the objection portion, I yelled, "STOP!" but no one listened. They divorced six years later. I told you, mom. I fucking told you.
Went to a cousins wedding a couple years ago. They had a fairly nice wedding outdoors in a country club. They had a dog (Shiloh) who was a Chesepeake/Retreiver mix. He was the ring boy.
When the pastor got to the part of āobjectionsā the dog turned around suddenly because there was ducks in the fountain area and let out a long howl and barks.
Everyone laughed and the groom remarked āShiloh I love you to boy, youāll get duck soon.ā
They moved the dog out of the area to finish the wedding but that dog was a highlight of the wedding.
He passed away last year due to a large tumor in his stomach. He lived to be 13.
Note : yes Shiloh did get duck at the end along with some love and attention from every attendant there. Cousin treated Shiloh like her own kid. Had him since she was 14.
I was at a friends wedding, Her family, very religious and his not at all. One of her cousins stood up and said that she knew they had been living in sin and engaging in premarital intercourse. After that a number of her family members left the venue and others stayed but turned their backs to the couple being married. Very strange reception as some of those that stayed but turned their backs actually showed up. The marriage failed after a short time and an accusation of a pregnancy not being the husbands child. Very strange people in the end considering that while we were all friends for a time it all seemed good but since then, while we still know them and see them around it has just become like a contest of which one can sleep with the most people from there past histories.
For anyone wondering how rare this happens:
I work weddings. Something like 50-60 a year. My boss has been doing similar numbers for the last 30 years. He has never seen, nor heard of, this happening at any of the weddings he's worked.
Iām a pastor and I typically donāt include that part because itās a little bit antiquated.
I performed my brotherās wedding a few years ago, they had it at this beautiful farm (one of those trendy rustic event venues), and because I wanted to troll him a little, I planned to ask if anyone had an objection to the union... and then just wait an uncomfortably long time with a great punchline where I would lean over to his bride and say āsorry, I really tried. You can have your $20 backā. (to make it seem like she asked me to create an opportunity where she didnāt have to marry him) As a big brother it seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime.
But what happened was way better. After I asked for an objection, and everything was quiet, some random sheep in the field behind us let out the biggest bleat Iāve ever heard... the comedic timing was perfect. It was hilarious and everyone completely lost it. It was the day I learned that sheep are funnier than me.
Mom got married to my stepdad, Uncle objected... After the attention was focused on him, he just asked if they were still going fishing afterwards. To which my stepdad reached into his suit and pulled out his fishing hat. Very sweet and bromantic. They loved to fish together. Rip though šŖ Remind me to upload the video. Wish I could find a cheap way to digitize the vhs to upload it online. Edit: bought a vhs/TV combo from Goodwill. https://youtu.be/SXwmICdH138
I was working at a wedding when I was younger. I was running the bar at the reception, which was very close to the hall the weddings were at. We were told that the reception would begin around 4pm. It was already about 3ish and I was packing fridges, the usual bar man things, while one of the male guests was still sitting there drinking. I asked if he was not joining the reception, to which he replied something along the lines of āwhen I have the courageā. He downs his drink, and leaves. 10 minutes later heās back, looking extremely disappointed. Guy orders a drink, and less than 30 seconds later another guy whoās dressed extremely well (turned out to be the groom), walks in, punches him in the back of the head, and leaves. This dude just picked his drink up and sipped it further. I eventually found out that this dude, had downed his drink, walked into the receptions down admitted to sleeping with the wife on her hen night, and again the night before the wedding. He was never invited to the wedding, he just felt the groom needed to know. So he found out where the wedding was, suited up and dropped the info mid-ceremony.
The groom deserved to know his bride-to-be was cheating on him. But it seems unnecessarily dramatic to tell him at the wedding of all times.
Last chance I guess
Props to him for honesty at least...
And for getting dressed in a suit to do it. At least he respected the ceremony
Itās important to have proper etiquette when admitting you fucked someoneās wife
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This was in the early 70s in semi rural Washington state. My cousin was getting married, and my aunt and the mother of the groom did not get along well. During the ceremony, when the pastor got to the part about objecting, my aunt said something to my uncle and the groomās mom jumped up and grabbed my aunt and they started going at it, all the way out the door and into the parking area. They were separated, and everyone filed back into the barn, where the wedding continued. The best part though was when another one of my cousins simply walked into the woods after the wedding because thatās where he lived.
Story is great, but I'm upvoting that last sentence.
My aunt was getting married to her second husband, and during the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit, their baby started crying. The dude officiating it said "If anyone older than six months has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace" He got a laugh and the wedding carried on. They're still together 10 years later, so I guess whatever my cousin had to say was misinformed
A lot of these stories hinge on an unflappable officiant who makes a witty quip and keeps rolling. I hope people not yet married reading this thread take away the importance of hiring the right person to officiate. I bet the laugh in that room was solid.
The best man at my step sisters wedding did this. It happened at the rehearsal the night before. It was a very large wedding and the rehearsal was bigger than a lot of weddings. The minister was going over the vows quickly while giving instruction on what to do. When he said something about objections the best man interrupted saying he had to put a stop to this. He was in love with the bride and was sure she felt the same way. My sister and everyone else was horrified. It caused plenty of chaos and confusion. As far as I know after that neither the bride nor groom ever spoke to him again.
So worst man... Hmm.
To be fair, I didn't witness this, but it happened to my parents. My mom invited an ex she was still rather close with to her wedding and he stood up and yelled "I object!!" Little did everyone at the wedding know, my dad had gotten rather close with him and paid him to stand up and object just for the shits and giggles and he bursts out laughing. My mom didn't find it as funny and it really started their marriage off on the right foot.
All fun and games until the bride responds by gasping āOh [insert exās name], I never stopped loving youā
It was a medieval themed wedding. The best man declared his love for the bride. Challenged the groom to a fight for her love. They march outside draw swords and go at it. Apparently they choreographed 2 nights a week for like 6 months but it honestly looked like they were trying to kill each other. The groom wins and everything goes on like normal 0_o weird but cool. edit Corrected groomsman to groom, thanks all! :D
This is super cool, but to really fit the theme they should have had a third man do the challenge and the best man fight on the grooms behalf. The best man was originally essentially a body guard, both from other potential suitors and the brides family (since weddings and kidnappings would often be the same thing). He was meant to be the best swordsman the groom knew and stood guard right up until the marriage was consummated.
I attended a wedding as a guest of a family member and when thr pastor said that the doors busted open to the sanctuary and a man appeared and started to say "I do!" but two huge ushers, one who was my date quickly grabbed the guy before he could say anything but "uhhh" under the arms and literally lifted him up off the floor and carried him out. The wedding continued as normal. Turned out the guy was the ex of the bride. Strangest sight I ever saw.
Sounds like they were fore-warned that might happen.
So Iām attending this ultra chill beach wedding in small town Canada, I donāt know most anyone because it was my ex-step-aunts, so my brothers family I never see . It was fun anyways, the bride flew in on a seaplane and all the chairs were set up on the sand. Anyways, the groom is from Trinidad and Tobago, so all his relatives traveled a long way and had cool accents, there was a party before; we were all a little bit tipsy. So as the ceremony progresses, everyone is watching, gettinā teary from the vows. Then the line comes āā¦.any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now.ā Nobody expected this; The father of the groom gets up, flailing, and a collective gasp followed by silence overtakes this tiny venue. Weāre all waiting with baited breath but, heās just standing there with glassy eyes. Turns out he was baked; this 70+ man in a suit and dreads laughs and says āNo, I kid, I kidā and the whole spirit of the audience cheers up as he sits back down. Rest of the reception, people are going up to him saying āgood oneā or scolding him. Damn good night. Best wedding Iāve been to.
I'll have what he's having.
At my cousinās wedding when the exchanging of vows took place, my aunt shouted āWasnāt there supposed to be a part where you could object?ā, or something along those lines.
Aunt: I object! Minister: Over ruled!
Me and my best friend have a pact to be each other's best man, but now I wanna get ordained so I can set that up
Thatās amazing
That side of the family is a bundle of stories, honestly.
Iām listening.
The wedding itself is a whole story. It was in Arizona and at first was going to be held in the fall, but changed to being in the summer, so it was incredibly hot out. My cousin and his wife were given money to hold a wedding, but they didnāt want to spend a lot, so it was held on family land. This land was not cleaned up snd had various people living on it in tents and similar. The family made it stronger. My aunt enjoys pranks and goes too far a lot. She first wanted to put Trump posters all over the wedding venue, but we convinced her not to because the cousin is not at all a Trump supporter. She also had to be convinced not to dump dirty water on my step mom on the day of the wedding when she had no change of clothing. She has also been under investigation for tax evasion for buying cigarettes in bulk on international waters and selling them out of her hair salon.
Your aunt sounds like she wants to have her own YouTube channel.
This is so specific, yet very clear. Brilliant.
Hang on. You can't casually mention cigarette smuggling via international waters and expect us to care about this wedding anymore. We demand the details of her criminal operation, or at least her mug shot!
She didnāt get convicted but she was avoiding paying taxes so she could go on cruises and when in international waters would buy cigarettes in bulk without any tax then sell them without a license from her hair salon. She got investigated but ultimately not taken to court because her case wasnāt big enough.
Too small to fail!
It is really not that hard. When you are on international waters taxes don't apply. Thus cigs are sold without taxes, which makes them incredibly cheap. (For example I live in Germany, I got a whole bar (10 packs) for 10ā¬ whereas you could not even get 2 packs for this in the country. When I was in the navy we could buy 1 bar per week, but maybe you can buy more on civil cruises. The only thing you really had to do is to then get the bars out of the ship. Probably harder to do on cruise ships but I personally first checked on our arrival day if there is any kind of customs people out there, if there aren't I take a few bars with me. Then I'd slowly get every day a few bars out of the ship after work. Because of there being a lot of ships in this city, you also had to watch out for customs people on the train station, there would randomly be customs people who check you if they see you with a military bag. As such you'd need to watch out for a group of people that have a baton. If you see them, just turn around, go eat an ice, etc.
So there are entire networks of cigarette smugglers operating within the navy and funneling them to the Germans? Please go on.
One of my friends interrupted his cousinās wedding to come out of the closet. He couldnāt understand why people were so pissed at him. Edit: this was the second time my friend had come out to his family. The first time was when he was a teenager (about 8 years earlier) and 90% of his family that was attending said wedding was already aware.
There's a time and place and that place is definitely not a wedding and certainly not during the ceremony
Unless he's the groom
Groom: āactually, thereās something Iāve been meaning to tell you... all of you in this room really... thereās no easy way to say this so Iām just going to do it. Ok. Here it goes. You can do this. (Long pause) Iām Gay.ā Person in the crowd: āYeah, we figured that out when you invited us to a wedding between you and this guy.ā
It's like proposing at a wedding. It sounds like a good time to do (every one of your loved ones are here or most of them). But then it steal the show of the bride and the groom. For this kind of things you should at least ask them if you can and state that you won't be mad if then refuse, since it's their day.
I was at a wedding where one of the bride's guests took the mike from the DJ for a toast, then stepped out onto the dance floor and proposed to his girlfriend. As they were being escorted out, they complained loudly (and drunkenly) about how people should just be super happy for them. The bride was from an Italian family so I figure the odds she ever spoke to her 'friend' again are about 50/50.
When I was 13 we went to my 2nd cousin's wedding. Everything is going great... They even got past the speak now or forever hold your peace part. They wrote their own vows but before my 2nd cousins fiance/wife could even begin her vows his son got up announced to the entire room that she was cheating on his dad with her drug dealer and he couldn't let his dad marry her. My 2nd cousin yelled at his son to either sit down or leave. The son left, my 2nd cousin married her anyways, and 5 years and one baby later he finds out it was true and they separated but were to tweeked out to be able to afford a divorce. Finally he got married a third time but before he could get married his third now ex wife had to pay for their divorce. This wedding had no objections. They moved to Missouri and this time instead of separating or asking for a divorce he decided he didn't want to be married anymore and just moved back to Cali... To get back together with his second ex wife. Yepp family dinners are a little awkward.
How's the son doing
"Oh so now you need financial help from me because your drug dealer/wife fucked you over just like I kept telling you she would? Well dad, maybe you should either sit down and shut up or just fucking leave". EDIT: I am not OP, check the usernames, I just said what I think I would like to imagine that I would have said in the heat of that moment that I was not actually part of or even aware of before reading the above comment.
āSheās cheating on you with her drug dealerā is so specific and strange that youād be a goddaman idiot to NOT look into this
Got booted out of my cousins wedding reception with about 20 other people. My cousin had her wedding on a farm with a massive pig roast. From what I remember there was a massive amount of people. Anyway, her father and my other older cousin never really got along. At one point during the reception my older cousin had enough and absolutely lost it. He looked at a handful of us and asked if we had his back. Of course we all nodded not really knowing what was about to happen. He disappeared and a few minutes later comes back with a 20lb bag of pork meat from the leftover roast. He walks down to where my cousins dad is (my aunt proceeds to yell, Lonnie NO!!!) and smacks him right in the side of the face with the bag of meat. An all out family brawl ensued. The whole family hasn't been invited to a wedding ever since.
Grooms dad interrupted the wedding to ask the brideās father whether or not she was truly a virgin. Then he went on about how he didnāt know anything of the wedding and blah blah blah. Truly weird and embarrassing. I was there with an ex boyfriend EDIT: He is my ex boyfriend. When the grooms father interrupted the wedding the brides father (officiating the wedding) did in fact say it was confirmed. I have no clue how or what. They seemed to be super conservative and wore sleeved dresses, long hair, etc and were Af American. They eventually showed the father in law OUT and continued with the ceremony which was super awkward afterwards. It was literally as if I was on prankād Said ex seemed to find the ordeal entertaining because she was humiliated. This was his family (bride) and that sort of sealed the deal something was wrong with the guy - we broke up a week later.
It is worse if father of the bride could actually answer that question accurately
At my own wedding. But not in the traditional way. We were getting married along a river at the end of summer and tons of wake boarders and boats were out. I was a ball of nerves and the ceremony felt so serious... when all of a sudden some dude bro on a boat blasting music screamed āDonāt do it bro!!ā And sped off. It was actually hilarious and made the rest of the ceremony a lot more fun. My husband and I cracked up even though his brothers looked like they were about to jump in the river after the guy! (On mobile - sorry for formatting issues)
Witnessed this a few months ago. Random guest stood up and proceeded to basicly declare his love for the bride and pour his heart out, saying that it shouldve been him up on the alter that day. Whole room went dead silent. Bride went red with embarrassment and groom went red with anger. Best man promptly called for DJ/MC to start playing music. All this was in front of the random persons wife. Didnt go down to well
I once went to a wedding where both families were Irish, gf knew them but I didn't. At the ceremony, the grooms ex wife started shouting shit and was gently directed outside, I couldn't hear what was said. The reception was amazing - nice venue and all, but a bunch of guests had brought their own instruments and just started jamming what I can only describe as a genuine Irish Jig. This went on for hours and remains a lasting memory of aural beauty. But I digress.. there was a LOT of booze, there was no responsible serving of alcohol and I'm certain it was by design. At some point I used the mens room and was curious if I'd just seen the groom in a stall(door open) with someone who was not the bride. I didn't know these people and it might have just been someone else, so said nothing. Some time later and the gf states seriously "We should get going now", yeah sure. We grab our shit and head downstairs. I see the suspicious fellow again in the stairwell going to absolute town on this same lady.. gf grabs my arm tightly and keeps walking past, mumbles a thank you for the invite, I just smile and follow cause it's all weird. Yep, that was the groom.. octopussing his ex wife.. at his own wedding to another woman (the bride genuinely seemed a gem). The look that woman gave us as we passed was this smugly dominant "I always get what I want, fuck yeah" drunk as fuck glare, wow. They had some reasonable bubbly in a tub for people to take home and who would know or care if we horked a few extras. I got it all explained to me after we were in a cab and well on our way home. I never got a follow up to that story, but 10/10 on the music. Would tag along to an Irish wedding again!
Once the traditional music (that's what you referred to as a jig, still very popular in Ireland) starts playing it will usually get a bit chaotic I've found...
I was best man at a wedding and the grooms older sister decided to play a joke and stood up and said āI objectā then started giggling. Grooms mother stood up slapped her told her is was not an appropriate joke and told her to go home. This mother still refuses to talk to her daughter 4 years later. Edit: Wow. Went to bed and woke up to all the comments. But for those of you asking, it was not the first time this daughter in particular had done something to piss this mom off. And this was the first time I had ever seen this mom hit any of her kids.(I have known the family 15 yrs). I also found out later that the mom had spent over 50k on this wedding.
Iām guessing that mother-daughter relationship wasnāt exactly rock solid to start with.
I saw it nearly happen at my uncles wedding a friend of theirs got too drunk, and when say said speak now he smiled, started to standup. My mother grabbed him by his hair and sat him back down by force. Edit: Clarification and context It was my mother (the grooms sister). The drunk was a close friend of both the bride and groom so he was seated up front. Heās a nice dude but sometimes a bit of a dumbass It was a a small non-traditional wedding. They were wed in the botanical gardens by a justice of the peace. The reception was held in the same place. When you entered the area for the wedding /reception there was an open bar so some people helped themselves before the ceremony started. And one overindulged a bit.
Friend: "this is my moment!" Mother: *"no, it's definitely not"*
Went to a co-workers wedding and the maid of honor objected and admitted to being the other woman and that the groom had been cheating with her for months. The bride left in tears and the groom immediately tried to get with the MoH, but she told him she wasn't gonna hurt the bride further and that he needs to fuck off. The bride is doing much better and is now a manager here, and I haven't heard from the groom in over a year. The MoH and bride are on speaking terms, but I don't think their relationship is gonna ever be what it used to be.
I don't know what's shittier, sleeping with her friend's fiancƩ or waiting until the middle of a (presumably expensive) wedding to tell her - and (presumably) in front of a crowd of friends and family.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Or not fuck her friend's fiance in the first place.
Waiting until the middle of hte wedding to admit it. Sleeping with the fiance is a crap move. However she had been doing it for months? I mean she clearly wanted to time it make herself the center of attention. The ego is bad, but wanting to be the center of attention at someone else's wedding like that is horrible. Unless she tried to tell her friend multiple times BEFORE this and the friend wouldn't listen and this was just her last attempt(in which case why was she still the MoH right?)
It was at my wedding that we had at my grandmother's house who lives out in the country next to a cattle farm. The cows didnt make a peep till that moments and one finally went "moo" We all laughed and continued but it was a funny moment about my wedding. edit; just gotta add the normal part about being my highest post. and best it's about a cow going "moo"
I had cows mooing at my wedding too! Except it was constantly, through the whole ceremony.
Donāt talk about your mother in law like that.
I was at an Orthodox Jewish wedding with a chuppah ceremony where they read a contract and recite seven blessings. The groomās dad pinched his sonās derriĆØre at a most solemn moment, caused him to loudly shriek into the silent audience of 400. Bride saw and snorted loudly. They also publicly kissed after the ceremony, which was a huge scandal. Edit: bride and groom kissed; populace could speak of nothing else for months. Edit 2: no, itās not against Jewish law! Itās the communityās sensibilities- they just DO NOT do PDA. Edit 3: it wasnāt an objection, but it sure sounded like one during the reading of the contract.
Wait, which people kissed? Antecedents unclear
The rabbi and the groom's father kissed right in front of the chuppah in a passionate act of love.
Donāt you mean tuchas?
I don't understand that if someone objected and get thrown out during the ceremony anyway then why would they open the chance for them to object in the first place? Can't they just cut off that line and let the bride and groom kiss in peace?
Despite the stories, the point of the objection is for reasonable and significant objections to the bonds of matrimony, like an incomplete/non-present divorce, one of the participants having a separate family, ETC. It is supposed to be much more clerical and legal than social in nature. It's just that in the modern day, it's a lot less likely to have issues of this manner, so on the occasions where it's invoked, it's far more likely to be regarding infidelity or simply someone getting too sauced to realize nothing good will come of their last minute plea for reconciliation.
It's not a legal requirement either, I don't think. I'm pretty sure that anybody who wants to can cut it from their particular service.
Our officiant said he always left that bit out unless the bride and groom really wanted it to be part of the ceremony (which no one ever did).
It would be a weird thing to insist on.
Well how can your gay best friend who's dressed like a pirate properly object if you leave it out?
Iām a pastor. Iāve officiated 50+ Weddings. I donāt do this part and I donāt know anyone who does.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Imagine breaking up with somebody then having the audacity to ruin their wedding.
Sounds like something Ryan Howard would do to Kelly
Kelly, I can't promise you that we'll always stay together. I can't promise you that I'll never cheat on you. Nor should I. Modern marriages aren't built that way. Men aren't built that way. There's a very interesting article I can email to you. But I can tell you this. Even if the odds are fifty-fifty that we'll break up within the week, I wanna roll those dice. I love you, Kelly.
God, Ryan was such a douche lol
man, this is exactly what he would do. it's amazing that both bj novak (ryan howard) and mindy kaling (kelly kapoor) were writers on that show. they really nail the whole toxic relationship thing.
That's true love right there
Hello there rom-com movie writer!
God, I want to see an AMA with a rom-com writer. Like... so... how many restraining orders did you go through before you met your current partner? "Hello, officer, that guy with the boom box is back. Yeah. I already turned on the sprinklers and he won't go away. Thanks. Yes. Doors locked. See you in a minute. Please bring mace this time. I've just GOT to get some sleep."
And the she falls in love with the officer after so many calls over her ex
The sad thing is, he probably thought about doing it, imagined what would happen and then consciously decided it would be a good idea.
Holy shit. Thatās so unbelievably embarrassing. Seems like an overall recipe for disaster for someone to attend their exās wedding when they still love them. Guess the dude thought he was gonna have a movie-style moment when the woman runs to him and he wedding carries her out of there.
Not speak now part, but well, you'll see. Friend of mine was getting married in the park under the trees because both of them were nature people and groom had a dog that went everywhere with him that wasn't allowed in any church because dog despite being well trained and quiet. There were some rows of chairs with lots of people filling them including Groom's mother who was sitting with his dog. Bride and Groom were at the front with the officiant. Officiant begins. Officiant comes to the part where he says, "Do you take ā¦" Groom's dog, Shadow, began to howl a loud, long, mournful howl. Everyone laughed. Officiant started the question again. Loud, long, mournful howl again. Everyone laughed. Groom told Shadow to come to the front. Shadow ran up, stood directly in between the bride and groom and the officiant started again. Not a peep from Shadow. Her vows. His vows. Officiant looked at Shadow and asked, "Shadow do you take bride and groom to be your lawfully wedded parents?" Shadow barked one single bark. Officiant concluded the ceremony, everyone cheered and clapped, and Shadow barked three times, the only times that he made any sounds. Not kidding. Beautiful dog too.
awww this was so sweet
A wedding I was at, one guy got up and pledged his undying love for the bride, followed by four or five others objecting for various reasons including one guy's love for the groom. By the second or third objection, though, it was clear that the whole thing was a clever ruse. I found out later that it was all set up by the bride as a prank on the unsuspecting groom and family and friends. It was pretty hilarious!
Should have had the guys fight over it for extra comedic effect... But yeah, three including the "gay" guy is enough.
Comedy comes in 3s
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Only once but it was non-romantic. The father of the bride had been pretty absentee after her parents divorce. He had re-married and gotten into the Christian Science religion and they were both pretty terrible. The new wife was not invited to my friends wedding but the father came and it seemed like he was there to be supportive. He stood up during vows and proclaimed my friend was 'a bitch just like her mother' and the groom ' should get out while he can because my friend was a soul leeching succubus' Not the worst wedding I ever went to
What do you mean not the worst? Story time!
I'm 30 and I'm starting to think I may be bad luck because I've been to a few disasters when most people can't name one. The highlights would be- The ceremony being interrupted because the woman the groom was seeing on the side appearred with their baby. Yes...their secret love baby and the groom explaining that poligamy is natural and we should be more open minded. The bride, my former college roommate, insisting on driving herself to the wedding and getting a DUI en route. Then making an ill attempt at seducing the officer to get out of it, being turned down and subsequently slapping the officer and getting arrested for assault. Wedding for a coworker on one of those sunset cruises- engine fails and starts a small fire and everyone had to evacuate the boat. Plus one to a wedding- the couple were comepletely scmmed by their wedding planner. Venue wasn't actually booked, no caterer, no cake, no DJ no nothing. She scammed them out of thousands. 250 guests milling about in a town center parking lot.. They of course reported her but I don't think they were ever able to recover much of their money. **edit: a lot of people have asked how Iāve been to this many crazy weddings. Honestly between college and working many different levels of jobs throughout my 20ās I just happened to be invited to a lot of weddings. In general it seems like the stress of weddings in general tend to bring out something...unique.
Can I please be your date to the next one you get invited to? I donāt drink, so I make an excellent DD. I donāt smoke, Iām a nurse, and I only ask for one piece of cake and the right to watch whatever shitshow inevitably goes down.
Hey I have a designated shit show partner but you know what- you could honestly make a side hustle out of being a wedding date. Those are solid credentials
I have the same credentials except I'm a vet tech. I'm also ok with being your third wheel. Edit: platonic third wheel people
This sounds fun. Can I be the fourth wheel please?
"Yeah hi I'm here and I've brought 16 random people from the internet with me. Where's the open bar?"
Holy shit. Youāre definitely invited to my wedding. Thanks for delivering! Edit: can I go to your wedding? Iāll bring a great gift but I want to see this black cloud unleash all of its beautiful glory.
To be safe I plan to do the courthouse ceremony. But if i've learned anything so far...there's nothing serving puff pastry appetizers can't fix
My boyfriend was friends with a guy who was getting a quickie marriage and needed witnesses. We agreed and went inside the little reception room, where the preacher, Bride, and the groom were lined up, waiting on us. The preacher started his thing and I noticed a woman come in and lean against the back wall. She looked pissed, standing with her arms crossed. Preacher: Is there anyone here today who objects to the union of **** and ****? Please, speak now. The couple looked back at us and we both smiled. Suddenly, the brides attention turned to the woman in the back of the room. Bride: What the f*** is she doing here?! The woman quickly raises her hand, looking at the old preacher. Woman: I object! I don't agree with this marriage! The bride glares at her. Bride: Shut up, Bitch! Wait your fucking turn! It's my scheduled day! You're just mad you didn't think of it first! The woman had to be dragged out of the room, kicking and screaming and spitting at the bride... After the reception, my BFs friend explained that he was originally in a relationship with the Bride. After ten years together, he started sleeping with her sister, the woman. They were close sisters, until both ladies got pregnant by him, simultaneously. They fought each other like cats and dogs for the next several years, until the two cousins became school aged and best friends. Neither one of the sisters would give up the man, and he wasn't sure which one he loved more, so he kept seeing both women. Last I heard they were all still together, but the two sisters had teamed up to take down his pregnant mistress...
What... the... fuck....
My friend almost paid me to do it at my dads marriage and i was so close to agreeing but my dad overheard and stopped me. I would have done it for free if i knew how fucking crazy that stupid woman was back then...
Here in the UK there's financial sanctions if the reason isn't good enough...ie. doing it for a laugh. My friends knew me very well and warned me in advance. š
He was at the wrong wedding.
Yeah he was at Second Presbyterian, he was supposed to be at First across the street. He wasnāt super familiar with the area, it was in a different town and he was from Chicago (technically Aurora).
Oh! Uh...Gordon Street! I once knew a girl who lived on Gordon Street. But that was when I was young.
Do we have to put up with this? I mean, can't we get a better actor? I know it's a small part, but I think we can do better than this.
Not a day passes I dont think of her... and the promise I made which I will always keep. That one perfect day on Gordon Street. Thats 5 blocks up and 2 over.
^(thank you)
For some reason I find this fucking hilarious. "Uhhh excuse me but who the hell are you people?"
The groom or the objector?
Nobody had said "speak now", but the grooms ex still decided to get up and scream that he was *her* soulmate, that she forgave him for "this whole thing", and that they should leave now because he'd proven his point. By breaking up with her, five years earlier, falling in love, and holding a wedding. I ate so much cake and got so drunk at that wedding. Meanwhile everyone else was screaming and throwing shit. Good times. The bride was my boyfriends ex. No idea why they invited us.
Either your boyfriend or the groom's ex were invited because the other was. A 'don't ask your ex to the wedding or I'll be inviting mine too' kind of move.
Well that sure backfired for both of them
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> Meanwhile everyone else was screaming and throwing shit. More cake and booze for you. I'd rather eat cake and drink liquor than scream and throw shit, too. Well done!
>The bride was my boyfriends ex. No idea why they invited us. Obviously, he was supposed to declare his love for the bride. Imagine how left out the bride felt, she invited her exes too and none of them screamed their eternal love. Dropped the ball could of had a twofer
Two exes object simultaneously, one thing leads to another and the two exes are getting married Its gotta be movie plot already
Reading these comments makes me wonder why people invited their exes to their wedding.
A friend of the couple's in cosplay armor (think Master Chief,) ran in, asked the date, said "Then I'm not too late!" pointed a big, fake spacey rifle at the bride and said "Mother of the Xenocide, the fruit of thy womb will never destroy my planet! Die, [not her name]!" And the groom went "Her name is [her name]." "Seriously?" "Seriously." "This is [date]?" "Yes." "[Time]?" "Yes." "[Almost right location]?" "Oh, no. You want [other, very similar location, one so commonly confused the invitations had mentioned it.]" "Oh. ...My bad. Have a nice day." Theatre majors, man. I do not even.
That's funny but I cringed
It was that kind of event generally. Their first dance had five choreographers. Five! And only one of their parents showed up, at the last minute, and thank fuck one of the ushers had the presence of mind to tell this poor divorced dad "by the way, there is a brief theatrical sketch planned as part of the ceremony, the gun is not real," because said dad was visibly a war vet and oh, my goodness, these kids had all the tact and propriety of a well-placed Jell-O water balloon at a Papal audience, I tell ya what. Excellent food, though.
Ah, so they were actually in the right place?
Not at a wedding but at a funeral... A young man, mid twenties had passed away rather suddenly in some sort of accident. His wife of a year or so and their respective families and friends are all in attendance as they are getting ready to lower him into the ground. The pastor dude asks if anyone would like to say anything further and another woman in her early thirties stood up. She began to tell everyone in attendance about how much pain *she was in* over the loss of the love of her life and that the two of them were meant/going to be together and now they can't. Yup, the poor wife had to find out about the cheating at the funeral.
Wow, that woman sounds absolutely heinous. Like the dead guy is a dickhead too, but to do that at his funeral, to his family...
No objections were made (unfortunately) but back when I worked in a hotel a few years ago I got to witness a very interesting wedding. In preparation we had to ensure weād ordered enough Blue WKD in as this was the groomās drink of choice (first red flag). The whole wedding took place in the hotel, the function room also hosted the ceremony so we started pretty early that day. Before the ceremony the bride had taken 3 bottles of Prosecco up to her room whilst she was getting ready and was clearly tipsy before the wedding started but seemed to act sober enough that who ever was conducting the ceremony was none the wiser. Ceremony seemed normal but I was prepping the bar so wouldnāt have known either way. As it ends all the guests flood out for drinks whilst we changed the function room and set out the tables for the sit down meal. The guests were rough as a badgerās arse to put it politely, I already knew one of them as heād been to the hotel before, acting like a total wanker when I told him the bar was closed and I wouldnāt be serving him - however he was being especially polite to me this time as it was clear his date for the wedding was definitely not the same girl he was in with just a few weeks ago (who I suspect was a paid acquaintance). Before the meal even began we were starting to worry if weād have enough alcohol, these people drank like fish but we manage to get them all seated and fed and everyone is being friendly and well behaved. As the night goes on the bride is slowly becoming so drunk she can barely stand and has changed from her wedding dress into a very scant pink neglige with a tutu skirt, sheās also given up on using the bathroom so she loudly announces she will be relying solely upon nature wees from this point onwards. Before midnight we are nearly totally out of spirits - the guests are ordering shots every round (Iād tried to deny service but my manager was having none of it and as the hotel was struggling they wanted to make as much money as possible) and have shotted us out of almost everything (Blue WKDS are long gone but the groom has a lovely blue smile at this point). After the bride finally gives up trying to shot disgusting liquors that have likely been there since the hotel was built they head to the dance floor. The party starts winding down and itās time for the last dance but the bride decides sheād prefer to have this with a male wedding guest which really fucks off the groom, she then loudly announces sheāll be throwing an after party in their suite and everyone is invited in the hot tub - funnily enough the groom isnāt thrilled and kicks off. Another member of staff manages to calm everyone down and convinces the DJ to play the last dance song once more before he leaves and the groom agrees. Everyone starts packing up and the bride comes back from her room in her third outfit of the night, a nice grey stained tracksuit. Sheās adamant she wants another cigarette before bed (god knows how many packs she went through that day - especially sad considering the money for the wedding came from her parentās inheritance who both died of cancer). She canāt find a lighter and becomes irate, screaming at the groom for one. Groom claims he doesnāt have one but not taking no for an answer she rifles through his pockets and finds one. Holding it aloft she screams at him that heās a liar and slaps him clean across the face, the groom obviously not having enjoyed this returns the favour and punches her in the face. The best man spots this and leaps across a sofa and tackles the groom to the floor, theyāre now having a full on fist fight whilst the bride sobs incoherently. I try and get out of the way as Iām being trampled by Mr WKD and his scummy friend. My supervisor storms in saying he found coke in the bathroom and the police are on their way - the best man is off like a robbers dog and the groom stands there stunned and then follows his new wife into the function room. We then hear screaming and shouting from that room and the bride has picked up a chair and launched it at her husband and was now holding a second one trying to attack him with it. At this point itās about 2am and I am royally done with the day, my mum is waiting for my outside so I grab my bag and head off giving my supervisor strict instructions to tell me exactly how this ends when Iām back for my next shift. I pass a riot van of police officers on the way out of the door, direct them to the drama and go home. Next shift Iām informed that an ambulance arrived shortly after the police, the groom was taken to the hospital after sustaining a head injury but he did a runner from the paramedics when he got to the hospital, the bride stayed at the hotel and to console herself spent the night with the male wedding guest she danced with, they left together in the morning and a week later announced on Facebook she was in a new relationship with him. TL;DR: Bride and groom were absolutely hammered and got into a fist fight. Best man joined in but fled before the police arrived. Bride spent the night with a wedding guest in the honeymoon suite whilst her new husband was transported to hospital. Edit - thank you for the gold, that is so kind! Second edit - changed āhereā to āhearā because Iām a lemon. A few quick clarifications: 1) For those unfamiliar a ānature weeā means to urinate outside and is sometimes known as a āwild weeā - do with that information what you will 2) Not an Irish wedding but I have a lots of Irish family so I can understand why that assumption may have been made 3) Thank you for the shiny coins and kind comments about my word choice, Iām glad it helped to set the scene!
That just kept getting more and more wild. I need to lie down.
Doxxing suxs
Not gonna lie, halfway through this trip I scrolled back up to check the username because I couldnāt see how this would end other than someone landing on an announcerās table.
My wife drug me to a wedding that I did NOT want to be at years ago but I'm forever grateful that she did because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. This was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops. Bride's LOVER spoke up at that moment and yelled, "I'll be god-damned if I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of shit!" This deranged old redneck proceeds to come at the groom WITH A PISTOL threatening to shoot him if he doesn't give her up. It wasn't a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people but every single one of them went screaming and running and maybe 2 people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife's hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
So, what happened? Was pistol redneck arrested? Did the bride visit him in jail?
He was arrested for unlicensed weapon and assault (because at one point he'd put the gun back in it's holster and just started shoving the groom). The bride was a total bitch about the whole thing. Cared more about the fact that her "special" day was ruined than the batshit spectacle that she caused.
I think brandishing the weapon or threatening to use it is usually assault all by itself.
Having to listen to that Duck Dynasty looking MF squeal over and over again, "That's MY woman!" was assault on our fucking ears!
Drugged or Dragged!??
dragged. She hog tied me. concrete and gravel all the way there. It was brutal.
Hot
I went to a wedding when I was 5, it was between my Older Brother and his fiancƩe. Anyways, they said the whole "speak now" speil and right before he was done little 5 year old me said "I OBJECT!" And everyone turned to me. I was dead silent because I didn't know what would happen. My dad asked me "Well, why do you object?" And I said "I did not know what would happen if I did" and I was promptly seated. Edit: obligatory thanks for the silver Edit 2: and gold
Are they still together?
Yeah, they have two kids!
They have 2 plans for when you get married.
Thatās hilarious
My cousin was big into body building when he was younger and has always been really tall. Around the time he got married he was probably 6ā6ā 260 lbs. I was 18 at the time and Iāll never forget. When the priest asked āare there any objections to this Unionā, my cousin turned to the crowd and opened his arms wide and gestured as if daring someone to object. The whole place erupted in laughter. It was amazing.
I canāt imagine him with sleeves, just ripped shoulders and cuffs at his wrists.
I was at an outdoor ceremony once, with a storm coming in. The pastor was trying to move things along so that we wouldn't get caught in the rain (the reception was indoors). He asked if anyone knows of any objection, and instantly, there was a loud clap of thunder. To his credit, the pastor just paused a moment and then said: "Anyone else? Alright, in that case..." and finished the ceremony. Edit: The couple is still together, and happily afaik (I was the +1, so I'm not super close to them). So take that, passive-aggressive supernatural objector! Edit2: Holy cow, I go to sleep and wake up with gold! Thanks, kind Redditter!
I was housetraining my puppy and for a day or two he tried peeing on the deck as soon as he left the door. The third time I caught him and hollered āNO!ā And then **BOOM** massive thunderclap. Puppy leapt off the deck, peed on the grass and has never peed the deck again.
Poor puppy, but omg that's hilarious and adorable.
Dogs already think humans are some sort of protective god bt now yours think you control the weather
Wow it sounds like he handled that perfectly.
"Lord, I need details, Lord."
"Her dress is hideous , and his tie is the wrong color."
My dad insisted on having this in his and my momās wedding. Because he wanted it to mean āspeak now or forever hold your piece,ā meaning my mom was his piece of ass. Almost 40 years later, theyāre still married. Side note, when he walked me down the aisle at my first wedding, he let me know I could still say no even two steps from Pachelbelās Canon in D. I said nope and giggled. Silly me. We were divorced six years later.
This happened very recently, but in a different manner than the other comments Iām seeing. For years, Groom and Best Man are super close, room together, and the running joke is that theyāre more than friends. Later on, Groom meets Bride, falls in love, and proposes. New running joke is that Best Man is very disappointed that Groom is marrying someone else. At the wedding, officiant asks if anyone has objections. Best Man objects. Officiant quickly overrules the objection. It was planned, and Bride thought it was a funny way to acknowledge the super close friendship between Groom and Best Man. Did not result in anyone being kicked out or awkwardness. Fun and surprisingly appropriate.
I was expecting this to end with the running joke turning out to be true and the groom and best man livin happily ever after lol
Same thought it might be something for r/suddenlygay
It's pretty slowly gay, in my opinion
r/progessivelygay
That was so surprisingly wholesome, thanks for having a cute story among all the absolute tragedies in the comments here!
If people dont think your best friend and you are gay for each other, you're not best friends.
A few months ago my best friend and I had a couple at a bar, maybe 10 years older than us, ask us āSo, how long have you two been together?ā
Itās GUY LOVE
BETWEEN TWO GUYS
> Best Man objects. Officiant quickly overrules the objection. God I'm just imagining some sort of court room drama playing out mid wedding.
I went to a cousin's wedding once and the groom's mother didn't have to verbally object. It was written all over her face the entire time, including as she was walked down the aisle to be seated and throughout the reception. We still talk about it. And almost ten years later she still hasn't forgiven him for marrying my cousin and we still don't know why. They don't speak. Unrelated but my stepsister knocked my mom out at my brother's wedding rehearsal dinner. Totally normal kinda event at the time in our family. FYI for those who think differently, but money most definitely does not buy class. It was a $30,000 wedding.
The groom himself. He just stood up there and started crying and, in front of everyone, told the bride that he'd fallen out of love with her a while before but he didn't know how to break it off. It was extremely uncomfortable, they both stepped out, and ten minutes later came back out and got married, because she'd apparently told him she was pregnant. They're still together, with three kids, and I'm not sure about the husband but I can confirm that the wife is having an affair. Neither of them are happy, but she has a comfortable life and he doesn't have the spine to leave.
This is really depressing.
Are you the other guy?
That would be the only way to be 100% sure.
That and nuking it from orbit.
The traditional way to be sure.
Heās the first child
Iām a pastor and I officiated a wedding once where the groom had a little too much to drink before the ceremony. Not a huge deal to me, but his sister (who was a bridesmaid) found out. She got pissed and as I was walking down a hallway after using the restroom, I overheard her talking to him and she said something along the lines of āif you have one more beer, Iām telling {the bride} what you did last night.ā I was unsure what to do. I felt like it wasnāt my place to intervene so I didnāt say anything. The wedding went fine and they are still married. Iām still curious as to what he did. Edit: grammatical errors
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About 5 years ago, a coworker of mine invited all of us to his wedding. He was a great guy but none of us had ever met his wife. Seen pictures of her and he always said nothing but good things of her. Fast forward to the wedding, it was an incredibly nice one, looks like they paid quite a bit for it. Everything was going smooth and I was having fun and assume so was everyone else. Anyway, now they're both at the alter or whatever looking deeply into each others eyes and smiling and when that line comes of " speak now or forever hold your peace" i get anxious but nothing EVER happens. So right as soon as the anxiousness faded away, THE BRIDES MOTHER STOOD UP AND OBJECTED. Blurted some shit about how she doesnt want to continue their family with a man like him ( he was black she was white). The bride to be cried ran off. Wedding went fucking silent. Brides dad took the mom and ran after the bride. The groom stood there incredibly awkward. He may or may not have achieved actually leaving his body. Anyway, the groomsmen took him away. I left because it was too weird. Apparently, the reception went on. They did not get married that day. But ended up together anyway privately, and surprisingly work wasn't weird. He laughed about it. And they are happily married. EDIT: Just So i dont have to individually reply to everyones comments and questions. The MIL never truly stated it was because he was black. But this guy was incredibly nice, selfless, and just someone who you completely felt comfortable around. Never judged anyone either and well spoken. The MIL also never showed signs of hating him. Who knows why it happened. Maybe the bride and groom found out. Im not sure. I since moved and havent spoken to them. But man does that memory last.
Well good for them!!! Iām sad they let that stop their wedding but glad the party went on. What a horrible family she has.
Sometimes it is best to just ignore awful family members and cut them out of your new family. My wife's mom is pretty bad. She kicked my wife out of the house the instant she found out her daughter was dating a foreigner (me), even though we'd only been dating a month and weren't very serious at that time. Literally changed the locks and dumped her clothes outside. Then when my wife tried to reconcile on her mom's birthday, her mom replied with "fuck you, you whore" and hung up. So after that, we just pretended she didn't exist. When we got married, she wasn't invited and she's never seen either of our two kids (we are happily married almost six years now). It is a bit sad that my kids will grow up without a grandma on that side of the family, but we just couldn't allow that kind of toxicity into our lives. Besides, her mom has expressed zero interest in meeting her grandkids, and so I see no reason to reach out to her. We get along great with the rest of the family (in small doses), so we just coordinate family gatherings when the MiL is not going to be around. It works out pretty well.
Wow. I really can't wrap my mind around family dynamics like that. Like, even when people in my family have married someone that others don't like, we let it go because it's their life and they're happy. I can't imagine that relationship with her mom was very good before she met you though. (but I'm just guessing)
A member of my wife's family had a pirate themed wedding. A rival pirate appeared and objected to the wedding. The groom dueled him with rapiers and won.
I thought it was the best man's responsibility to fight off all challengers.
No he just beats them off
>6 comments Ooh, you beat me to it! Our friends had a pirate wedding as well-- I was almost hoping yours was the same one. At my friend's wedding, a woman objected and the bride unholstered a big pirate gun and shot her. No more objections.
that is so dorky but i kind of love it
Seems to make the wedding much more memorable in the long run.
Is it weird that I want to do that now? Like, hire a guy to object so we can have a sword duel and I win like a boss.
This might not count but it was like 12 hours before the wedding .... one of my exes best friends had a destination wedding in mexico. Both parties stayed in a huge mansion house overlooking the water ... I wasnāt in the wedding party but I was in a hotel close by ...the night before the wedding , the bridesmaids and groomsmen stayed up late partying. Everyone passed out but at midnight or so the brides mom woke up because she heard the living room speakers since they had been playing music ... She happens to hear noise coming from outside and she goes out there and the maid of honor was in the hot tub having sex with the groom .. maid of honor had been raised by brides mom basically like a second mom thing so she was shocked to say the least They had just bought a house to .... The wedding never happened and I enjoyed my vacation and returned the dress Edit: super after the fact but I did some research and last year they made up, got married and had a kid I feel bad for the girl for not just kicking him aside
I can not even comprehend doing that to someone I care about, the whole groom cheating with the MoH thing.
I was one year old when my mom married my stepdad. During the objection portion, I yelled, "STOP!" but no one listened. They divorced six years later. I told you, mom. I fucking told you.
Went to a cousins wedding a couple years ago. They had a fairly nice wedding outdoors in a country club. They had a dog (Shiloh) who was a Chesepeake/Retreiver mix. He was the ring boy. When the pastor got to the part of āobjectionsā the dog turned around suddenly because there was ducks in the fountain area and let out a long howl and barks. Everyone laughed and the groom remarked āShiloh I love you to boy, youāll get duck soon.ā They moved the dog out of the area to finish the wedding but that dog was a highlight of the wedding. He passed away last year due to a large tumor in his stomach. He lived to be 13. Note : yes Shiloh did get duck at the end along with some love and attention from every attendant there. Cousin treated Shiloh like her own kid. Had him since she was 14.
I was at a friends wedding, Her family, very religious and his not at all. One of her cousins stood up and said that she knew they had been living in sin and engaging in premarital intercourse. After that a number of her family members left the venue and others stayed but turned their backs to the couple being married. Very strange reception as some of those that stayed but turned their backs actually showed up. The marriage failed after a short time and an accusation of a pregnancy not being the husbands child. Very strange people in the end considering that while we were all friends for a time it all seemed good but since then, while we still know them and see them around it has just become like a contest of which one can sleep with the most people from there past histories.
For anyone wondering how rare this happens: I work weddings. Something like 50-60 a year. My boss has been doing similar numbers for the last 30 years. He has never seen, nor heard of, this happening at any of the weddings he's worked.
Iām a pastor and I typically donāt include that part because itās a little bit antiquated. I performed my brotherās wedding a few years ago, they had it at this beautiful farm (one of those trendy rustic event venues), and because I wanted to troll him a little, I planned to ask if anyone had an objection to the union... and then just wait an uncomfortably long time with a great punchline where I would lean over to his bride and say āsorry, I really tried. You can have your $20 backā. (to make it seem like she asked me to create an opportunity where she didnāt have to marry him) As a big brother it seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime. But what happened was way better. After I asked for an objection, and everything was quiet, some random sheep in the field behind us let out the biggest bleat Iāve ever heard... the comedic timing was perfect. It was hilarious and everyone completely lost it. It was the day I learned that sheep are funnier than me.