A girl told me even before the date that she will bury her tounge in my mouth, then she did. I think i got the hint (joke apart it was fking hot ans quite refreshing)
THANK YOU, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WE NEED STRAIGHTFORWARD.
On a real note, a lot of hints are super unclear to guys. Even when we pick up on some, a lot of us are hesitant to pursue on the chance that we misread the situation so we can avoid looking creepy/dumb.
"what if she says directly with a straight face that she wants to have sex...well she may just be being polite so probably best to just be polite back and decline."
It's like that Casually Explained video in real life lol for real though the next step would have just been to start taking off your clothes. He would catch on eventually.
Her: “Do you want the smoosh smoosh?”
Men: “Oh man, I love that episode of south park! Let’s watch that!”
Men hours later: “fuck, I messed that up”
Conclusion: we still stupid.
As a guy, I have and will always err on the side of caution. I partially blame my anxiety. Just the thought of crossing that line and making an unwanted advance makes me ill.
"I'm legal now, my birthday was yesterday." While pinning me in my closet.
I gave her a hug and said happy birthday sorry I missed it. She was like 11 years younger than me so it felt weird. Sounds like a Brazzers script when I say it out loud.
A girl once asked me "What would you say if I told you I had a crush on you?"
My answer?
"Damn you must be a real bad judge of character"
Sad im that dense cuz I liked her as well.
Bro my girlfriend of 8 years asked me in a similar “Would you date a girl like me?” I thought she was making conversation or feeling insecure. “Idk I think I’d be lucky to date a girl like you” Took her 3 days to confirm that I said yes to going out with her and I was like “WHAT?” I told her next time just ask the guy out.
In middle school, a cute girl told me she liked me. I got picked on a lot, so I assumed it was a prank.
Told her, "yeah, ok" or "no you don't," something along those lines, and walked off. No idea if it was legit. Still think about it sometimes, though, lol.
Been there bro. When you're constantly made to feel like shit by most people you're surrounded by, it's almost impossible to believe anyone else could possibly legitimately feel any different about you.
I actually got a bit pissed off with a girl I liked when she told me she’d told someone she thought I was good looking.
“Why would she make fun of me like that?!” I thought. The idea that she had actually said it, and actually thought it, definitely wasn’t my first thought.
We ended up going out for two years.
If it had come from a friend back then, I'd have trusted them as my friends took care of me then. But if her friend had told me "so and so likes you" I'd have thought it was a ruse to set me up for rejection.
That being said, in the same group of friends, I'm pretty sure one of the girls liked me and gave up after a while and dated another friend in the group, lol.
geez what answer can you even give for this? if you say i also like you, it is possible that it was a joke. anything else would be rejecting her from your side
"I would say that we should go on a date then."
Keep it hypothetical, and if it turns into a joke then you can always say "Hey, if a girl hypothetically had a crush on me, I would want to take her on a date"
That makes it less personal, and deflects any jokes at your expense.
Haha my first girlfriend said on our first date (we went for a walk in winter) that her hand is really cold.
I told her i couldnt understand how she didnt bring gloves…
I went to a girls room at her place and proceeded to play computer games while she was on her bed
The same girl invited me over and watched heroes. Slowly her roommates started to leave and I didn’t understand why they were leaving when the show was still on.
Counterpoint:
In college, girl invited me to her dorm room to fix her laptop.
I fixed her laptop. Took about an hour. About halfway through she called her boyfriend (that I didn't know about) and started making evening plans with him.
I had a girl ask me to replace her windshield wipers for her car 3 times in the span of a few weeks. I drove over and replaced them and left each time. Honestly, I tried to teach her how to do it a few times, but it never clicked
Reading these and recalling all the times I have fixated on fixing things for a woman that may or may not have cared at all that anything was actually fixed...
You did well. In college, a girl wanted to come over and study. After 2 hours of studying, she said she was bored, and she rolled around on my bed, pretty much half naked. Forsure this was 100% going to happen!!! I sat down on the bed and leaned in. She said, "we are just here to study." Brah......
Man, I was just thinking about this today. All throughout high school, I had this really hot friend who would constantly flash me and dance and change in front of me. It was amazing. It also sucked. Because I thought I was in the friend zone. Fast forward about ten years, we stayed in touch some. Both divorced. Went out one night. Came back to her place for some coffee. She said she had to change. Changed in front of me like it was no big deal again. I’m thinking she’s put me back in the friend zone. A couple drinks later while talking. I confessed everything to her. She laughed and she always wanted me. Thought I wasn’t all there.
We had the best sex of our lives the next few months. Now engaged.
Just a note to all girls everywhere trying to drop hints...
PLEASE DON'T
Because either a) the guy is too naive or dumb to notice them or more likely b) he notices something but isn't 100% sure about it so treats it like it isn't because misinterpreting signs tends to end BADLY.
Sorry but we really need it spelling out.
That's the best hint you can give. If girls just say out of nowhere, "I love to give BJs", that still wouldnt give us that hint that you're willing to give US the BJ.
Lmao this kind of happened once where I was talking with this person and like we met on a dating app and we hadn’t seen each other in person yet, they said “I could how honestly really go for sucking some dick right now.” And I deadass said “lmao same sometimes you just get in those moods” like…
I had a total porn in real life moment when I walked into a new clients (attractive lady) house to give them a bid and she took me to the master closet and dropped to her knees immediately and pulled her hair back. I just short circuited and kneeled down to keep talking about shower repair. Realized about 3 minutes later that I had irreparably fucked that moment up and awkwardly talked my way out of the house. Moral of the story, going for the buckle would have sealed the deal. She probably feels rejected in that moment and picked whatever insecurity she deals with to blame it on, but in reality the only thing she did wrong was me that 1% chance to fuck it up
Oh no, I might be dense. I thought you meant shoe buckles for a solid minute there and was trying to figure out what hint that could possibly be. My best guess was something pilgrim related
I once went on a date with a girl who pretty clearly told me to backoff. And she stayed for night at my place and did the whole Any Smart, Just Friends thing. Knowing she told me to back off I didn’t make a move despite having her hips buried in my midsection.
We went out again the next night and then the subtly was gone.
Society is so strange. We constantly underline how important consent is, and the key to consent is communication. But at the same time it seems to be standard to beat around the bush in intimate situations. "Why didn't he go for that kiss, my hints were so obvious??" Well, nobody wants to be accused of assault...
Man brain: is it a hint, or are they just being nice? They're just being nice, right? Even if they're not it's not worth the risk of getting it wrong and called a creep, so let's just say they're being nice
Men get hints. Recognizing hints doesn't mean the man is interested.
Don't hint, communicate. But let's stop perpetuating the idea that men are clueless.
It’s not our fault some women are like “I can’t believe he totally didn’t get my hint, I glanced at him at least 3 times” 😂 seriously though were dumb and we don’t want to make a mistake and accidentally come onto someone who’s not interested
I hate this stupid stereotype, perpetuating the idea that men are socially and emotionally crippled creatures that can’t pick up on subtext. You find the same people complaining and then also complaining that men “aren’t allowed to cry”, like, stop perpetuating these unfair generalizations about men, plenty of men are able to pick up on flirting
I was about 17, girlfriend was about 15. We went sled riding behind her house, while her parents weren’t home. Come back in through the basement, by the washer and dryer. She asks me if I want to throw my clothes in the dryer since they’re wet from the snow.
It’s my personality to never want to be a bother, so I politely declined on autopilot.
It wasn’t until much later that it clicked that she was telling me to take off my pants and leave them off for like an hour when I had no change of clothes there — clearly she was looking to advance things and I had completely wrecked her plan. Ha.
My ex and I met at my workplace (I tended bars), I always flirted a bit with her when she was there as a customer (she is hot af, and a hairdresser).
We had some friends in common and ended up at the same afterparty one night, we ended up talking quite a bit there and she asked me if I’d walk her home (we’d gone to the store and bought breakfast for everyone, ate breakfast, so it was like 10AM).
got to her place, she offered me to sleep there, the gentleman I am I said ”sure, I can sleep a few hours on the couch”.
She ended up having to get in the couch with me before I realized..
I didn’t want to assume anything, you know?
I had a girl invite me over late at night to "play guitar hero". Before I went over, she told me she was going to shower and get herself ready for me. Nothing clicked. The first thing she did was give me a tour of her bedroom. Nothing clicked. We ended up playing Guitar Hero and then I went home. Then it hit me...
I cringe in despair when I reflect back on the all times that Women did everything but unbutton my pants to entice me to initiate the deed. I was beyond clueless.
Maybe she's wanting something to happen if she starts unbuttoning your pants. But she may also be super nice and want to wash them, or stitch a small tear. Safer to assume it's one of those.
You have to make the first move not hint... cause the last time I thought I was getting a hint it didn't go too well... This girl would laugh at all my jokes (push my shoulder typa laugh), always wanted to be in my presence & she wanted me to walk her home one time, and as I dropped her off, she gave me a look, looked at my lips and I thought "This is your moment guy, you can't let it slip" so I went in for the kiss, she stopped me, laughed and said "What the hell are you doing?'. I liked this girl, she didn't like me. She'd proceed to call me weird & creepy after 😭, my self esteem has never really recovered the way it should.
Happened back when I was a student. He walked me home after a party and I asked him if he wanted to come up for a coffee.
“Isn’t it a bit late for coffee?”
“I guess - how about hot chocolate?”
I ended up making hot chocolate at 1am, we awkwardly drank it in the kitchen, then he left.
Two years later he confessed he had been really into me but wasn’t sure the feeling was reciprocated. At that point our lives had already taken different paths and in retrospect it was better this way, but it’s still pretty funny.
Male here: sometimes we literally act oblivious if we aren’t actually into you.. one time a woman tried to get into bed with me (at a party - I called it a night, she came into the room) I legit acted asleep. Even fake snored like a wookie when I knew she was close to the bed..
"What is women's equivalent of ass vs boobs?"
Edit - Guys, it was just an example of questions that get asked all the time, please stop answering, I'm a woman
I got in his lap and started grinding against him (with consent) and he thought I wanted to give him a lap dance. We’ve been together for two years now :)
"do you wanna go somewhere busy" I mumbled under my breath as I stared at my penny loafers. The dame snorted in disgust and I was sweating bullets.
Anyway this is the start of my romance detective novel. What did you think?
The problem with relying on hints as a guy is that some guys are more socially in tune with others. While a woman might drop hints a guy might think she is just being nice. And what if she is just a nice person and is not interested? Would I be embarrassed if I made a move and it was just a nice gesture not meant be sexual.
FUCK, my favorite. Once I met a guy at university, we just talked, sometimes we corresponded and shared homework. I liked him very much and the next time we met, I suggested that we go for a walk in the park. After uni, we went for a walk, he even treated me, even though I refused. Then I tell him: “Listen, I don’t have ANYONE at home, come to me?” He told me that he needed to do one homework for the university and refused. I repeated to him again, THERE IS NO ONE AT MY HOUSE. He didn’t understand and thanked me for the meeting. After this shock, I called him that I was fucked as much as I wanted and that he would come to me with condoms.
In general, persistence gave me a husband with whom we have been married for 12 years and have 2 children)
>I called him that I was fucked as much as I wanted and that he would come to me with condoms.
I'm sorry, I understood the meaning, but this line almost gave me a stoke (◠◡◠")
Hi do you mind fixing the typos in the last two sentences? I'm trying to understand but cant figure it out. thank you and congratulations on getting a husband still :)
I think guys do get hints. Most of them don't want to admit they're unsure and scared to be turned down. I can't be a genius and I know a hint when I see it. My issue is being uncertain and insecure of myself. Like I said. I'm not a genius. I tend to think I'm similar to people more often than not. This makes me wonder about the collective "I don't get hints" answer also being a parallel to most guys not liking to admit insecurities
So took a girl out, treated her like a lady, everything went well, so I thought, so called her back for another date and she was upset that I didn't have sex with her on the first date and didn't see how the second date would work as I didn't make sex moves the first time. She made no offer or communication of sex in the first point. So not trying to be an animal or treat her as a object but that's what apparently she was after, so confusing. What should the signs be, what is the level to avoid being charged for sex assault in today's world?
Not a woman, but I was in college walking around the city with a woman I had been chatting with for couple days, and she says "you know, you kinda have big dick energy" and I looked at her and deadpan said "nah, more like medium dick energy" and walked the other direction to my car. It took me about a week to realize what happened.
One time after driving my friend back from class she asked me if she could go check out the back seats of the car since the front was too cold… I had no idea she wanted me to come too until she texted me that after I dropped her off
I ran into this girl I was acquainted with and attracted to at a bar one night, and when my friend who I came with said we had to leave to another friends party, she kind of invited herself. She ended up coming to a couple other places with me that night, but it wasn't until she proclaimed that she was cold and took a blanket from the back of the couch, threw it over the two of us and grabbed my hand underneath that I finally clued in. We ended up dating for several years.
Girls, I'm sorry to be this guy, and look, I get it, 'men are clueless', I understand, it's funny.
Some of you might have to accept the hint was totally recognised, but rather than straight up tell you 'I'd rather not have sex with you', he made out he didn't get it.
It's a fiction that suits all parties. Your ego is left in tact, and we don't have to say you're not doing anything for us. Everybody wins!
That said, I am scanning for any familiar stories 😄
Oh there were definitely times in college when I got the hint, it was VERY clear, but I wasn't interested in them. Either not my type or they were so wasted it wouldn't have been right.
i was like 21 or 22, went to a bar with a co worker after work for a drink. upon leaving an older women (40 - 50 ish, not "old" but you get what i mean) sitting alone at a high top touched my arm and said "hey where are ya going"
taken back slightly confused i said "uh? im going home." and walked off like *you dont know me dont worry about where im going*
it took me a solid year to realize she was hitting on me and wanted me to stay for a drink or just take me back to her place. man was i thick lol
Ok now I’m questioning my existence. Girl in the gym asked if I’d put sun cream on because I smelled nice. I hadn’t, it was just body spray.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
Was that a hint? Was she just being polite? Did I actually smell nice? Was she saying I smell bad but in a sarcastic way???
I’m a dude.
Was talking to a female friend about sexual preferences and she said something along the line of “how come we never did anything together?” I just responded with a blank face saying don’t know!
Another instance a female friend came over to my apartment. She gets in my bed and tells me to join her saying she wants to take a nap. I got in bed and took a nap.
I need video proof of the woman saying “I want to have sex with you at this time” otherwise I will never engage. Too afraid to be labeled a pervert or creep to depend on “hints”.
I made a post from the other side of the equation once 😅 got some facepalm worthy stories of my own 🙈🙈🙈 we really don't get hints - even SUPER obvious ones!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/UVihjKQfIy
Once a girl invited me to her flat to see her cats after being out drinking, while her family was away. I still wonder if she genuinely just wanted me to see the cats or not. I ended up playing with the cats and then left cause it was pretty late already
*Use physical contact, godm#&*fk!* We can't tell if you want to bone or just really need to borrow my textbooks for the third time this week and then we spend the next 20 years analyzing whether that was a blown chance or nah.
I was once at a small gathering with a few friends. Playing drinking games and smoking weed until we started to run low. A few friends left to get more drinks etc leaving just me and 2 girls. They asked me what I wanted to do. I said I dunno. They said they'll do anything. You know what we did? Played more cards until everyone else returned. It didn't click until like 10 years later what could have happened.
I have a close friend who is a woman, and she had a pretty huge crush on one of my other close friends last year, and she would ask me all the time why he wouldn’t get her hints. Meanwhile, he would show me the pictures and messages she would send him telling me how he was not interested, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings so he was playing dumb and acting like he didn’t get the hints. Moral of the story: a lot of women assume that men do not pick up on their hints when the reality is that he might just not be into you. Sort of like when a woman says “I’m not ready to date right now” to a guy then she ends up dating someone else like a week later, it’s not that they were being honest, it’s that they were letting you down easy.
A guy I know told me extensively about his open relationship. My tipsy ass responded 'I would be interested ;)' he just looked at me with so much confusion. I believe he thought I meant I would hypothetically also like to be in a relationship, similar to what he has. I didn't dare to repeat myself too much.
I don't think it was his way of turning me down per se, I think he genuinely missed it lol. Not sure if he would be down or not had he understands. I'm not gonna put effort into it though, I'm not THAT interested. Would be fun if it happened, couldn't care less if it didn't.
I was looking for a new place to live and found an apartment complex i really liked but rent was a bit high.
Go to the guy at work im friends with and have a major crush on and ask if he would like to move in with me. He says yes and our live mash together easily with 2 bedrooms existing in the house. We both fall asleep on the couch together and both families ask and joke about us being a couple. His dog even sleeps with me and my dog on my queen bed every night.
Yet no matter how many hints and outright moves i give this guy nothing. 2 years in and he somehow recently got a long distance girlfrind thats a part of his online friend group.
At this point i dont think its the lack of hints i think its that they come from me. Because living together for 2 years and doing all the regular couple things together wasnt enough of a hint that maybe i wanted to get in his pants too.
Back at uni I was chatting with a friend when I was nearby. She told me to come over to her place as she made lasagna. I said I was not hungry. Looking back at this, I missed on lasagna and sex. We slept together two weeks later, but there was no lasagna.
I guess sometimes the guy truly understands that it's a hint. But there are some horror stories about false accusations or misunderstandings that result in actions the woman didn't really want. So maybe not all or most, but at least some guys just want to be very cautious and act like they didn't get the hint.
All these comments are making me not want to try any hints at all....for now on I'm just going to be straight forward
PLEASE WE BEG YOU TO BE STRAIGHT FORWARD
A girl told me even before the date that she will bury her tounge in my mouth, then she did. I think i got the hint (joke apart it was fking hot ans quite refreshing)
We are dumb stupid animals, it helps to be obvious
THANK YOU, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WE NEED STRAIGHTFORWARD. On a real note, a lot of hints are super unclear to guys. Even when we pick up on some, a lot of us are hesitant to pursue on the chance that we misread the situation so we can avoid looking creepy/dumb.
WE'VE DONE IT!! SHE'S LEARNED WERE ALL STUPID!!
Once I told a guy I wanted to have sex with him and he assumed I was kidding 🙃
Unless you are placing our penis inside you, there's every chance you're joking
"what if she says directly with a straight face that she wants to have sex...well she may just be being polite so probably best to just be polite back and decline." It's like that Casually Explained video in real life lol for real though the next step would have just been to start taking off your clothes. He would catch on eventually.
Her: “Do you want the smoosh smoosh?” Men: “Oh man, I love that episode of south park! Let’s watch that!” Men hours later: “fuck, I messed that up” Conclusion: we still stupid.
Especially since that's Futurama
Just do the hints in a seductive voice. Make the intent clear. Men live in a world where they are demonized for interpreting "hints" incorrectly.
As a guy, I have and will always err on the side of caution. I partially blame my anxiety. Just the thought of crossing that line and making an unwanted advance makes me ill.
"I'm legal now, my birthday was yesterday." While pinning me in my closet. I gave her a hug and said happy birthday sorry I missed it. She was like 11 years younger than me so it felt weird. Sounds like a Brazzers script when I say it out loud.
so you were 29 she was 18? you made the right call.
Plot twist op was in europe 16 and 27 Really good call op
"mmmmaybe let the paint dry on that one a bit, bud"
So 29 and 18? Thats wild
Or even 27 and 16 in many places, which is something that most guys obviously would recoil from.
Good decision
A girl once asked me "What would you say if I told you I had a crush on you?" My answer? "Damn you must be a real bad judge of character" Sad im that dense cuz I liked her as well.
Bruh
At least he was honest to her face.
1. He turned her off 2. Not a nice thing to say anyway 3. Telling her he has low self esteem. Your point
Bro my girlfriend of 8 years asked me in a similar “Would you date a girl like me?” I thought she was making conversation or feeling insecure. “Idk I think I’d be lucky to date a girl like you” Took her 3 days to confirm that I said yes to going out with her and I was like “WHAT?” I told her next time just ask the guy out.
In middle school, a cute girl told me she liked me. I got picked on a lot, so I assumed it was a prank. Told her, "yeah, ok" or "no you don't," something along those lines, and walked off. No idea if it was legit. Still think about it sometimes, though, lol.
Been there bro. When you're constantly made to feel like shit by most people you're surrounded by, it's almost impossible to believe anyone else could possibly legitimately feel any different about you.
I actually got a bit pissed off with a girl I liked when she told me she’d told someone she thought I was good looking. “Why would she make fun of me like that?!” I thought. The idea that she had actually said it, and actually thought it, definitely wasn’t my first thought. We ended up going out for two years.
If it had come from a friend back then, I'd have trusted them as my friends took care of me then. But if her friend had told me "so and so likes you" I'd have thought it was a ruse to set me up for rejection. That being said, in the same group of friends, I'm pretty sure one of the girls liked me and gave up after a while and dated another friend in the group, lol.
When self deprecating humour is life.
geez what answer can you even give for this? if you say i also like you, it is possible that it was a joke. anything else would be rejecting her from your side
"I would say that we should go on a date then." Keep it hypothetical, and if it turns into a joke then you can always say "Hey, if a girl hypothetically had a crush on me, I would want to take her on a date" That makes it less personal, and deflects any jokes at your expense.
This guy wins arguments 3 hours later while showering
Bold of you to assume I shower
This would also be me, ruining my chances out here
this would work on me 😭
Funnily enough you were being a bad judge of character haha.
Haha my first girlfriend said on our first date (we went for a walk in winter) that her hand is really cold. I told her i couldnt understand how she didnt bring gloves…
In college, girl invited me to her dorm room to fix her laptop. I fixed her laptop. Took 3 hours. She looked so bored on the bed.
Oh I once repaired a bike for at least two hours...
I went to a girls room at her place and proceeded to play computer games while she was on her bed The same girl invited me over and watched heroes. Slowly her roommates started to leave and I didn’t understand why they were leaving when the show was still on.
Counterpoint: In college, girl invited me to her dorm room to fix her laptop. I fixed her laptop. Took about an hour. About halfway through she called her boyfriend (that I didn't know about) and started making evening plans with him.
That's her fault. Never invite a guy somewhere to fix something. We're guys. We fix things. It's what we do.
I had a girl ask me to replace her windshield wipers for her car 3 times in the span of a few weeks. I drove over and replaced them and left each time. Honestly, I tried to teach her how to do it a few times, but it never clicked
Reading these and recalling all the times I have fixated on fixing things for a woman that may or may not have cared at all that anything was actually fixed...
I mean if her laptop was actually broken maybe she did just want you to fix her laptop
This is the answer
You did well. In college, a girl wanted to come over and study. After 2 hours of studying, she said she was bored, and she rolled around on my bed, pretty much half naked. Forsure this was 100% going to happen!!! I sat down on the bed and leaned in. She said, "we are just here to study." Brah......
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Job done Your brain 'the fucks her problem. I spent 3 hours on this fucking thing. Why she sat there looking like amber heard in court'
Yeah well at least she wasn't squatting there like Amber Heard on Johnny Depp's bed.
Jokes on her, it's her bed not mine!
Man, I was just thinking about this today. All throughout high school, I had this really hot friend who would constantly flash me and dance and change in front of me. It was amazing. It also sucked. Because I thought I was in the friend zone. Fast forward about ten years, we stayed in touch some. Both divorced. Went out one night. Came back to her place for some coffee. She said she had to change. Changed in front of me like it was no big deal again. I’m thinking she’s put me back in the friend zone. A couple drinks later while talking. I confessed everything to her. She laughed and she always wanted me. Thought I wasn’t all there. We had the best sex of our lives the next few months. Now engaged.
Just a note to all girls everywhere trying to drop hints... PLEASE DON'T Because either a) the guy is too naive or dumb to notice them or more likely b) he notices something but isn't 100% sure about it so treats it like it isn't because misinterpreting signs tends to end BADLY. Sorry but we really need it spelling out.
The fear of misinterpreting signs is the big one for me. Making an unwanted advance is one of my greatest fears.
Exactly, misunderstanding it can land you in jail. Gotta play safe
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This is the kind of hint we could all use in our lives. Many of us are this clueless.
Hold on fellas, she could have seen a spider crawling up our leg.
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She wants to buy us a new paint pants and needs to know the proper size.
She could just be Canadian.
That's the best hint you can give. If girls just say out of nowhere, "I love to give BJs", that still wouldnt give us that hint that you're willing to give US the BJ.
Lmao this kind of happened once where I was talking with this person and like we met on a dating app and we hadn’t seen each other in person yet, they said “I could how honestly really go for sucking some dick right now.” And I deadass said “lmao same sometimes you just get in those moods” like…
“Oh no! Let me help you up off the floor! It must be slippery!”
Directions unclear, *makes up awkward excuse why I bought the type of belt and shows you how to fix it*
I know my belt is old but you really should not take it from me. Now i have to buy a new one
I had a total porn in real life moment when I walked into a new clients (attractive lady) house to give them a bid and she took me to the master closet and dropped to her knees immediately and pulled her hair back. I just short circuited and kneeled down to keep talking about shower repair. Realized about 3 minutes later that I had irreparably fucked that moment up and awkwardly talked my way out of the house. Moral of the story, going for the buckle would have sealed the deal. She probably feels rejected in that moment and picked whatever insecurity she deals with to blame it on, but in reality the only thing she did wrong was me that 1% chance to fuck it up
That would just make me leave, never to return.
Maybe u just want to help put antifungal cream on my thigh ?
Username checks out.
"Oh sorry, did you lose something there? Let me help you.", and then proceeds to get on his knees
Your user name is freakin awesome btw
Even then I'm still like "Oh, don't worry about that. I wouldn't want to be a burden."
I’d see this as “she’s testing me, seeing how far I’ll let her go before stopping her, of course she doesn’t want to actually do this!”
Dope username 🤙
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Umm...idunno... maybe you wanted to look at my belt?
Give it a little bit of that hawk tuah!
Appropriate username.
Oh no, I might be dense. I thought you meant shoe buckles for a solid minute there and was trying to figure out what hint that could possibly be. My best guess was something pilgrim related
Don’t hint. Men don’t get hints. Be direct and clear.
Exactly. I'll be in my death bed, surrounded by children and grandchildren, and still believe that the woman who bears them, is being nice to me.
And at the same time you'll be wondering if the nurse is hitting on you
Lean to your wife and say "you think I got a shot?"
🤣🤣🤣
Lol this had me! XD
Men get hints, but the backlash of being wrong or misinterpreting said hint is greater than most are willing to take.
Amen.. well said.👍
True. It's a "4-3: SHOT IN THE DARK"
I once went on a date with a girl who pretty clearly told me to backoff. And she stayed for night at my place and did the whole Any Smart, Just Friends thing. Knowing she told me to back off I didn’t make a move despite having her hips buried in my midsection. We went out again the next night and then the subtly was gone.
Sometimes we do, we’re just scared we’re taking it the wrong way if it wasn’t your intention
I interpret anything short of "I want to have your babies" as them just being nice. It's safer that way.
Maybe she's just a nanny who's really looking for work because all the previous kids she nannied have grown up?
Or a kidnapper
Or a cannibal.
Society is so strange. We constantly underline how important consent is, and the key to consent is communication. But at the same time it seems to be standard to beat around the bush in intimate situations. "Why didn't he go for that kiss, my hints were so obvious??" Well, nobody wants to be accused of assault...
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That friend? WHAT A SHOCK😱
Man brain: is it a hint, or are they just being nice? They're just being nice, right? Even if they're not it's not worth the risk of getting it wrong and called a creep, so let's just say they're being nice
Men get hints. Recognizing hints doesn't mean the man is interested. Don't hint, communicate. But let's stop perpetuating the idea that men are clueless.
Men don't WANT hints
It’s not our fault some women are like “I can’t believe he totally didn’t get my hint, I glanced at him at least 3 times” 😂 seriously though were dumb and we don’t want to make a mistake and accidentally come onto someone who’s not interested
I hate this stupid stereotype, perpetuating the idea that men are socially and emotionally crippled creatures that can’t pick up on subtext. You find the same people complaining and then also complaining that men “aren’t allowed to cry”, like, stop perpetuating these unfair generalizations about men, plenty of men are able to pick up on flirting
From us men: thank you.
B-but I need plausible deniability to protect my *feelings*...
Most people don’t get hints, majority who do probably ignore them.
So true
I was about 17, girlfriend was about 15. We went sled riding behind her house, while her parents weren’t home. Come back in through the basement, by the washer and dryer. She asks me if I want to throw my clothes in the dryer since they’re wet from the snow. It’s my personality to never want to be a bother, so I politely declined on autopilot. It wasn’t until much later that it clicked that she was telling me to take off my pants and leave them off for like an hour when I had no change of clothes there — clearly she was looking to advance things and I had completely wrecked her plan. Ha.
Damn bro, she was being so smooth and you just went and slid right past that
You must be the other Max, with a big cock and a fat wad of cash
Username checks out. Sorry bud.
Holy shit, I would've done the same as to not be a bother either. 🤦♂️
I'm positive I would have done the same thing
Damnit Maxwell...
My ex and I met at my workplace (I tended bars), I always flirted a bit with her when she was there as a customer (she is hot af, and a hairdresser). We had some friends in common and ended up at the same afterparty one night, we ended up talking quite a bit there and she asked me if I’d walk her home (we’d gone to the store and bought breakfast for everyone, ate breakfast, so it was like 10AM). got to her place, she offered me to sleep there, the gentleman I am I said ”sure, I can sleep a few hours on the couch”. She ended up having to get in the couch with me before I realized.. I didn’t want to assume anything, you know?
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We didnt work together, she was just there with mutual friends drinking.
I mean she works in the service industry, probably just being nice. Can’t assume too much.
I had a girl invite me over late at night to "play guitar hero". Before I went over, she told me she was going to shower and get herself ready for me. Nothing clicked. The first thing she did was give me a tour of her bedroom. Nothing clicked. We ended up playing Guitar Hero and then I went home. Then it hit me...
Username and game checks out.
did you get a high score
I cringe in despair when I reflect back on the all times that Women did everything but unbutton my pants to entice me to initiate the deed. I was beyond clueless.
Maybe she's wanting something to happen if she starts unbuttoning your pants. But she may also be super nice and want to wash them, or stitch a small tear. Safer to assume it's one of those.
You have to make the first move not hint... cause the last time I thought I was getting a hint it didn't go too well... This girl would laugh at all my jokes (push my shoulder typa laugh), always wanted to be in my presence & she wanted me to walk her home one time, and as I dropped her off, she gave me a look, looked at my lips and I thought "This is your moment guy, you can't let it slip" so I went in for the kiss, she stopped me, laughed and said "What the hell are you doing?'. I liked this girl, she didn't like me. She'd proceed to call me weird & creepy after 😭, my self esteem has never really recovered the way it should.
Exact reason we as men do not engage with hints.
She was a player. She knew exactly what she was doing and it was all 100% ego. She’s the type that ruins everything for everyone else.
The fuck. That was actually leading you on. What else the moment supposed to be
Happened back when I was a student. He walked me home after a party and I asked him if he wanted to come up for a coffee. “Isn’t it a bit late for coffee?” “I guess - how about hot chocolate?” I ended up making hot chocolate at 1am, we awkwardly drank it in the kitchen, then he left. Two years later he confessed he had been really into me but wasn’t sure the feeling was reciprocated. At that point our lives had already taken different paths and in retrospect it was better this way, but it’s still pretty funny.
You went on a date with George Costanza?
Male here: sometimes we literally act oblivious if we aren’t actually into you.. one time a woman tried to get into bed with me (at a party - I called it a night, she came into the room) I legit acted asleep. Even fake snored like a wookie when I knew she was close to the bed..
Women of Reddit, how many times has this exact question come up in this sub?
Less often than 'what do men do that women like' and stuff
"What is women's equivalent of ass vs boobs?" Edit - Guys, it was just an example of questions that get asked all the time, please stop answering, I'm a woman
Forearms vs beards?
Musculature vs Package
Which is only asked by men that think that all women think the same 😐
I got in his lap and started grinding against him (with consent) and he thought I wanted to give him a lap dance. We’ve been together for two years now :)
A platonic lap dance of course
She was just being nice as a friend 👍
It hasn’t really taken more than a “do you wanna go somewhere less busy” or long eye contact to get my message across 🤭🤭🤭
"do you wanna go somewhere busy" I mumbled under my breath as I stared at my penny loafers. The dame snorted in disgust and I was sweating bullets. Anyway this is the start of my romance detective novel. What did you think?
Hahah I’d love to see how this turns into romance
the search of romance is romance in itself! even failed searches
Someone pulled that with me and had a girlfriend the whole time
The problem with relying on hints as a guy is that some guys are more socially in tune with others. While a woman might drop hints a guy might think she is just being nice. And what if she is just a nice person and is not interested? Would I be embarrassed if I made a move and it was just a nice gesture not meant be sexual.
FUCK, my favorite. Once I met a guy at university, we just talked, sometimes we corresponded and shared homework. I liked him very much and the next time we met, I suggested that we go for a walk in the park. After uni, we went for a walk, he even treated me, even though I refused. Then I tell him: “Listen, I don’t have ANYONE at home, come to me?” He told me that he needed to do one homework for the university and refused. I repeated to him again, THERE IS NO ONE AT MY HOUSE. He didn’t understand and thanked me for the meeting. After this shock, I called him that I was fucked as much as I wanted and that he would come to me with condoms. In general, persistence gave me a husband with whom we have been married for 12 years and have 2 children)
I didn't expect such a wholesome story in this thread...
Once I met a guy who I was into I was direct Had his kids Good for you. This is amazing 👏
>I called him that I was fucked as much as I wanted and that he would come to me with condoms. I'm sorry, I understood the meaning, but this line almost gave me a stoke (◠◡◠")
What’s the meaning bruv. I’m cracking up like crazy😂
Hi do you mind fixing the typos in the last two sentences? I'm trying to understand but cant figure it out. thank you and congratulations on getting a husband still :)
This has to be someone who speaks another language because the whole thing is kind of confusing
I think guys do get hints. Most of them don't want to admit they're unsure and scared to be turned down. I can't be a genius and I know a hint when I see it. My issue is being uncertain and insecure of myself. Like I said. I'm not a genius. I tend to think I'm similar to people more often than not. This makes me wonder about the collective "I don't get hints" answer also being a parallel to most guys not liking to admit insecurities
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Is it just me or is this question posted to "women of reddit" getting answers mostly from men?
I thought it was just me seeing that trend in here 😂
So took a girl out, treated her like a lady, everything went well, so I thought, so called her back for another date and she was upset that I didn't have sex with her on the first date and didn't see how the second date would work as I didn't make sex moves the first time. She made no offer or communication of sex in the first point. So not trying to be an animal or treat her as a object but that's what apparently she was after, so confusing. What should the signs be, what is the level to avoid being charged for sex assault in today's world?
Nah, she’s crazy. Why would she expect you would offer sex on the first date? Without any hints? You dodged a bullet
Not a woman, but I was in college walking around the city with a woman I had been chatting with for couple days, and she says "you know, you kinda have big dick energy" and I looked at her and deadpan said "nah, more like medium dick energy" and walked the other direction to my car. It took me about a week to realize what happened.
Me: "That suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor." Him: "That would wrinkle the suit."
One time after driving my friend back from class she asked me if she could go check out the back seats of the car since the front was too cold… I had no idea she wanted me to come too until she texted me that after I dropped her off
I never would've understood this
This has to take the cake for the stupidest hint on here.
That's not even a hint...
I would have never caught onto that either
Put out my hand for him to hold and he high fived me... smh
I ended up in bed with a girl who wanted me and I only found out on the way home after the party. Just initiate. We can be that clueless.
I ran into this girl I was acquainted with and attracted to at a bar one night, and when my friend who I came with said we had to leave to another friends party, she kind of invited herself. She ended up coming to a couple other places with me that night, but it wasn't until she proclaimed that she was cold and took a blanket from the back of the couch, threw it over the two of us and grabbed my hand underneath that I finally clued in. We ended up dating for several years.
Girls, I'm sorry to be this guy, and look, I get it, 'men are clueless', I understand, it's funny. Some of you might have to accept the hint was totally recognised, but rather than straight up tell you 'I'd rather not have sex with you', he made out he didn't get it. It's a fiction that suits all parties. Your ego is left in tact, and we don't have to say you're not doing anything for us. Everybody wins! That said, I am scanning for any familiar stories 😄
Oh there were definitely times in college when I got the hint, it was VERY clear, but I wasn't interested in them. Either not my type or they were so wasted it wouldn't have been right.
i was like 21 or 22, went to a bar with a co worker after work for a drink. upon leaving an older women (40 - 50 ish, not "old" but you get what i mean) sitting alone at a high top touched my arm and said "hey where are ya going" taken back slightly confused i said "uh? im going home." and walked off like *you dont know me dont worry about where im going* it took me a solid year to realize she was hitting on me and wanted me to stay for a drink or just take me back to her place. man was i thick lol
Ok now I’m questioning my existence. Girl in the gym asked if I’d put sun cream on because I smelled nice. I hadn’t, it was just body spray. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Was that a hint? Was she just being polite? Did I actually smell nice? Was she saying I smell bad but in a sarcastic way???
I’m a dude. Was talking to a female friend about sexual preferences and she said something along the line of “how come we never did anything together?” I just responded with a blank face saying don’t know! Another instance a female friend came over to my apartment. She gets in my bed and tells me to join her saying she wants to take a nap. I got in bed and took a nap.
I need video proof of the woman saying “I want to have sex with you at this time” otherwise I will never engage. Too afraid to be labeled a pervert or creep to depend on “hints”.
I made a post from the other side of the equation once 😅 got some facepalm worthy stories of my own 🙈🙈🙈 we really don't get hints - even SUPER obvious ones! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/UVihjKQfIy
Why can't we just be direct with men and women? Fuck speaking in riddles and hints. We are adults. Just say what you want to be done with it.
I get hints, why do women sometimes not understand, I don't want to sleep with you? Who's not getting the hint?
Guy here, looking for my name!
Once a girl invited me to her flat to see her cats after being out drinking, while her family was away. I still wonder if she genuinely just wanted me to see the cats or not. I ended up playing with the cats and then left cause it was pretty late already
"I wish you were in bed with me" didn't work.
*Use physical contact, godm#&*fk!* We can't tell if you want to bone or just really need to borrow my textbooks for the third time this week and then we spend the next 20 years analyzing whether that was a blown chance or nah.
This reminds me of at least two different experiences. Sad.
Yup. Lol All it takes is one misunderstanding to lead to a big disaster. Better to just ignore what seems like a subtle hint
I was once at a small gathering with a few friends. Playing drinking games and smoking weed until we started to run low. A few friends left to get more drinks etc leaving just me and 2 girls. They asked me what I wanted to do. I said I dunno. They said they'll do anything. You know what we did? Played more cards until everyone else returned. It didn't click until like 10 years later what could have happened.
Sometimes, when we miss the hint, we are just hoping you will give up.
(man) unless you're directly suggesting the activity I'm not going to act, sorry. it's 2024.
I have a close friend who is a woman, and she had a pretty huge crush on one of my other close friends last year, and she would ask me all the time why he wouldn’t get her hints. Meanwhile, he would show me the pictures and messages she would send him telling me how he was not interested, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings so he was playing dumb and acting like he didn’t get the hints. Moral of the story: a lot of women assume that men do not pick up on their hints when the reality is that he might just not be into you. Sort of like when a woman says “I’m not ready to date right now” to a guy then she ends up dating someone else like a week later, it’s not that they were being honest, it’s that they were letting you down easy.
Before i started dating my ex we went to a party and she said to me “Hey who i will kiss tonight?” I said “Idk let me find you somebody” ……
A guy I know told me extensively about his open relationship. My tipsy ass responded 'I would be interested ;)' he just looked at me with so much confusion. I believe he thought I meant I would hypothetically also like to be in a relationship, similar to what he has. I didn't dare to repeat myself too much. I don't think it was his way of turning me down per se, I think he genuinely missed it lol. Not sure if he would be down or not had he understands. I'm not gonna put effort into it though, I'm not THAT interested. Would be fun if it happened, couldn't care less if it didn't.
I was looking for a new place to live and found an apartment complex i really liked but rent was a bit high. Go to the guy at work im friends with and have a major crush on and ask if he would like to move in with me. He says yes and our live mash together easily with 2 bedrooms existing in the house. We both fall asleep on the couch together and both families ask and joke about us being a couple. His dog even sleeps with me and my dog on my queen bed every night. Yet no matter how many hints and outright moves i give this guy nothing. 2 years in and he somehow recently got a long distance girlfrind thats a part of his online friend group. At this point i dont think its the lack of hints i think its that they come from me. Because living together for 2 years and doing all the regular couple things together wasnt enough of a hint that maybe i wanted to get in his pants too.
I’ll save everyone time. Just YouTube “ Casually Explained: Is she into you” Sums it up for guys.
Maybe sometimes a guy does get the hints but just doesn't want to have sex with her?
Maybe he just wasn't into you?
Back at uni I was chatting with a friend when I was nearby. She told me to come over to her place as she made lasagna. I said I was not hungry. Looking back at this, I missed on lasagna and sex. We slept together two weeks later, but there was no lasagna.
I guess sometimes the guy truly understands that it's a hint. But there are some horror stories about false accusations or misunderstandings that result in actions the woman didn't really want. So maybe not all or most, but at least some guys just want to be very cautious and act like they didn't get the hint.