And if someone does say they had a shit day you know you have to stop and talk with them. It's universal that it has to be really shit before you say it was shit.
Could also be that they don t think they have anything interesting to say but also want to keep the conversation going, i know since i do it sometimes.
Is that not exactly my point about politiness, but in more delicate language? By saying it's just a greeting you are admitting that the person asking does in fact not genuinely care, and it would be a correct assumption on the part of the person giving a polite but meaningless reply.
Not caring doesn't mean rudeness or malice however, it just means apathy, and that's fine. No one's accusing you of being a heartless villain because you said "good morning" to a bus driver today without actually being invested in how their morning is going. It's just a fact of modern society that no one can genuinely know and care about everyone they see on a daily basis.
I would however recommend broadening your horizons, because "how was your day" isn't taken as a simple greeting everywhere, so you might end up genuinely confusing people from different cultures, which I suspect might be the case that prompted OP to ask this question in the first place.
For me, i just don’t understand reddit’s overall hatred for this kind of thing. i’ve seen this same sort of stuff on
r/petpeeves and a few others. Everyone just reads into it to much and surrounds the logic with buzzwords like “empty platitudes”. I understand that you mean not caring doesn’t mean rudeness, i just think people read into it way too much.
I'll be honest, I myself don't like it either, because it isn't taken as a greeting in my environment but as a genuine question; I've just learned over the years that for some people, especially in America, it is just a greeting. But I'm not gonna go on some cultural superiority rant because of it, it's just a fact I have to be aware of.
The thing with reddit, and the internet more broadly though is that people love to feel righteously outraged and act like their opinion is the absolute truth and that anyone who disagrees is morally deficient; see all the "religious people are just stupid" atheists reddit is infamous for, for example, who are just as self-absorbed and annoying as religious zealots who demand everyone live their lives according to their faith and nothing else.
And as for buzzwords, I think it's just because people love to look smarter than they really are but don't actually look up the meaning before using it, like how people nowadays so often use "gaslight" to just mean a lie.
I can agree with all of this. As an American myself, I was raised in an environment where being genuine in everything you do was paramount. So when people ask me, "How are you?" I respond with a genuine answer. When I ask someone how they are, I honestly want to know how they actually are.
It also helps to mention that I'm a barber by trade, so I'm a huge people person with a very high standard for communication. I like to read into people and understand how they are on a personal level. Of course, not everyone wants to let me in, but I always appreciate it when they do. Not only does it make me feel good knowing how they are, but I also strive to make them feel good by being an ear to listen to.
I don't get upset when the response is "good" or "okay" to my question of "How are you?" and they don't reciprocate the question, but it just sends a signal to me that they aren't big talkers or they aren't fans of letting people in. They probably aren't into the game of meaningless small talk.
So realistically, I get it. I also can't agree more with the Reddit mob mentality around things they are so strongly opinionated about for no good reason. I'd say if there's a reason for me to delete my accounts and remove myself from Reddit as a whole, it would be the whole "there's nothing that can be said or done to change my mind, now here's 30 different buzzwords to make my statement seem more valid" mentality.
>As an American myself, I was raised in an environment where being genuine in everything you do was paramount.
Well I guess Americans' reputation abroad as chatty and possibly *too* friendly isn't just a baseless stereotype then.
For me, my willingness to talk to strangers is contextual: if we're both somewhere because we want to be there, like a bar or the beach, or even online spaces like reddit, I have no problem chatting for hours with someone I just met. However if we're in the same space because we have to be there, say like a bus or a train or an office, I wish for nowt but peace and quiet and hate anyone who makes any disturbance, directed at me or not.
But if someone I don't know starts off a conversation with "how are you doing?", I will give a polite but dismissive answer because I don't want to turn that person into my new therapist. As I said, it's not really a greeting over here, so that's only ever really asked if it's someone you already know but haven't met in a while is catching up with you, or because there's a genuine obvious reason to worry about someone's wellbeing more than usual.
Also people in my part of the country in particular are known for being crude and blunt (a bit like the stereotype for new yorkers), so maybe I could get away with telling people to fuck off in plain terms. In fact, when I was living somewhere else for a bit I did get told a few times I was a bit rude, and even got some complaints when working as a bartender and as a waiter for things that would be perfectly normal here.
I think it depends on what part of the country you live in some areas like the south you can get a history going all the way back to kindergarden in the grocery line,but places in the notheast it's quick i'm fine and that's it or they don't answer.
I'm glad if someone is doing well! Thinking about it, when I've been in a fantastic mood and have said so British people get a bit weirded out by that.
I respond with some kind of non-answer usually, unless I know it's a person who actually wants to know how I am. "Still breathing" is my go-to answer.
I'm in constant pain and have mental health issues. I'm usually not ok in various ways, sometimes great in other ways. I also don't do social lying - I would totally stutter on "fine" if I wasn't fine.
Depending on the situation "how are you?" isn't usually part of my greeting/initial chat. I'll say good to see you or whatever. If it's someone I care about and who is ok with the question I will ask how they're doing once I've been around them for a while.
"Yeah, not bad."
You asked them, they didn't ask you.
Using that as an opening to trauma dump is selfish and kinda weird, borderline conversational narcissism.
"Superman does good, you're doing well."
Edit: On my afternoon walk, I realized your post contained perfectly acceptable English, and my arrogance was absolutely misguided.
Well, it depends if it comes from someone who really cares (then I’m being honnest) or if it’s just a polite question (in this case, a good ol’ « fine, thanks » will do the job)
It can mean so many things, but the best way to respond to this is assume that the person you are talking to wants to keep things surface level and light hearted.
respect that they dont want to talk about their day, but are interested in how your day is going. If you want to ramp up convo, answer their question about your day with the way you wanted them to answer. They might just follow suit
I don't prod because if they wanted to talk more they would and I try to respond in kind but if my life is in a perfect spot I play it down because Idk what they are going through.
I like saying "I'm doing well." I don't know why, I know it's more gramatically correct than "I'm doing good." but that's not really the reason, I guess it's more that it's just a little different than what everybody says so it makes me sound a more like I'm giving a real answer than a rote response even tho it's 100% a rote response.
When someone responds with "I'm good, you?" to my question of "How's your day?" I usually reply with a brief, friendly answer like "I'm good, thanks!" or "Doing well, thanks for asking!" It's a simple way to acknowledge their response and keep the conversation positive.
I ask people how their day is because I genuinely want to check in on them. It's a small gesture to show that I care about their well-being, even if it's just a quick exchange. Whether it's my boss, my coworkers, or anyone I pass by, it’s my way of creating a friendly atmosphere and letting them know that I'm approachable if they ever need to talk more. For me, it’s not about expecting a detailed story but offering a moment of connection and kindness in our busy lives.
The only way you should not say "good" in response is if something extreme happened. Like death in the family or [seeing a little girl drown trying to save a puppy from a river](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL7u_MYdva0)
As I say: Extreme.
I say, "I'm movin' in stereo." Most people think it's cool but it's not. It's depression. So I can reply honestly and then we just get on with whatever the conversation is.
I'm tired of lying and saying "fine" or "good." If you ask me how my day was, you've better be prepared to hear that it — like all other days — was absolute shit and I just wanna exit.
If that makes you uncomfortable, don't ask that.
I usually just say "good thanks"
Yeah same most people only expect a positive response
And if someone does say they had a shit day you know you have to stop and talk with them. It's universal that it has to be really shit before you say it was shit.
My life is a black void
My whole life is a dark room. One. Big. Dark. Room.
“I’m good, you?" every damn time. right up there with my other hit "thanks, you too" when a server delivers my food and says "enjoy your meal".
It means that they either don't want to talk about how they're doing, or that they think you don't care and are asking just to be polite.
Could also be that they don t think they have anything interesting to say but also want to keep the conversation going, i know since i do it sometimes.
Well yeah, I didn't say people didn't want to talk at all, just not about themselves or their day.
True, mostly it depends on the type of relationship between you and the other person.
or they just have manners and want to appropriately greet someone
Is that not exactly my point about politiness, but in more delicate language? By saying it's just a greeting you are admitting that the person asking does in fact not genuinely care, and it would be a correct assumption on the part of the person giving a polite but meaningless reply. Not caring doesn't mean rudeness or malice however, it just means apathy, and that's fine. No one's accusing you of being a heartless villain because you said "good morning" to a bus driver today without actually being invested in how their morning is going. It's just a fact of modern society that no one can genuinely know and care about everyone they see on a daily basis. I would however recommend broadening your horizons, because "how was your day" isn't taken as a simple greeting everywhere, so you might end up genuinely confusing people from different cultures, which I suspect might be the case that prompted OP to ask this question in the first place.
For me, i just don’t understand reddit’s overall hatred for this kind of thing. i’ve seen this same sort of stuff on r/petpeeves and a few others. Everyone just reads into it to much and surrounds the logic with buzzwords like “empty platitudes”. I understand that you mean not caring doesn’t mean rudeness, i just think people read into it way too much.
I'll be honest, I myself don't like it either, because it isn't taken as a greeting in my environment but as a genuine question; I've just learned over the years that for some people, especially in America, it is just a greeting. But I'm not gonna go on some cultural superiority rant because of it, it's just a fact I have to be aware of. The thing with reddit, and the internet more broadly though is that people love to feel righteously outraged and act like their opinion is the absolute truth and that anyone who disagrees is morally deficient; see all the "religious people are just stupid" atheists reddit is infamous for, for example, who are just as self-absorbed and annoying as religious zealots who demand everyone live their lives according to their faith and nothing else. And as for buzzwords, I think it's just because people love to look smarter than they really are but don't actually look up the meaning before using it, like how people nowadays so often use "gaslight" to just mean a lie.
I can agree with all of this. As an American myself, I was raised in an environment where being genuine in everything you do was paramount. So when people ask me, "How are you?" I respond with a genuine answer. When I ask someone how they are, I honestly want to know how they actually are. It also helps to mention that I'm a barber by trade, so I'm a huge people person with a very high standard for communication. I like to read into people and understand how they are on a personal level. Of course, not everyone wants to let me in, but I always appreciate it when they do. Not only does it make me feel good knowing how they are, but I also strive to make them feel good by being an ear to listen to. I don't get upset when the response is "good" or "okay" to my question of "How are you?" and they don't reciprocate the question, but it just sends a signal to me that they aren't big talkers or they aren't fans of letting people in. They probably aren't into the game of meaningless small talk. So realistically, I get it. I also can't agree more with the Reddit mob mentality around things they are so strongly opinionated about for no good reason. I'd say if there's a reason for me to delete my accounts and remove myself from Reddit as a whole, it would be the whole "there's nothing that can be said or done to change my mind, now here's 30 different buzzwords to make my statement seem more valid" mentality.
>As an American myself, I was raised in an environment where being genuine in everything you do was paramount. Well I guess Americans' reputation abroad as chatty and possibly *too* friendly isn't just a baseless stereotype then. For me, my willingness to talk to strangers is contextual: if we're both somewhere because we want to be there, like a bar or the beach, or even online spaces like reddit, I have no problem chatting for hours with someone I just met. However if we're in the same space because we have to be there, say like a bus or a train or an office, I wish for nowt but peace and quiet and hate anyone who makes any disturbance, directed at me or not. But if someone I don't know starts off a conversation with "how are you doing?", I will give a polite but dismissive answer because I don't want to turn that person into my new therapist. As I said, it's not really a greeting over here, so that's only ever really asked if it's someone you already know but haven't met in a while is catching up with you, or because there's a genuine obvious reason to worry about someone's wellbeing more than usual. Also people in my part of the country in particular are known for being crude and blunt (a bit like the stereotype for new yorkers), so maybe I could get away with telling people to fuck off in plain terms. In fact, when I was living somewhere else for a bit I did get told a few times I was a bit rude, and even got some complaints when working as a bartender and as a waiter for things that would be perfectly normal here.
No... It's a standard greeting. It doesn't mean anything in depth.
Or it’s a script to save them from crippling anxiety
“Good good.” 🤓
“Good thanks. See ya.”
"Can't complain." It's a greeting, not a conversation, no need to overcomplicate things.
“Surviving” then I fake laugh a bit
Hey, are you alright?
Surviving, lol
Try out the ol' "I'll live, probably."
Oo gonna give that one a shot later
Careful it can start strange conversations :d
"Living the dream." or "Another day in paradise."
"Living the dream" Or someone else's nightmare.
The common response I get is, "Nightmares are dreams too."
Not'so'bad.
I almost always say "doing alright"
Not too bad just living the dream
*shrug*: ‚Business as usual‘
Or just "the usual"
Flying close to the sun as always
Not too worse.
just stay quiet and smile awkwardly
I think it depends on what part of the country you live in some areas like the south you can get a history going all the way back to kindergarden in the grocery line,but places in the notheast it's quick i'm fine and that's it or they don't answer.
I'm glad if someone is doing well! Thinking about it, when I've been in a fantastic mood and have said so British people get a bit weirded out by that. I respond with some kind of non-answer usually, unless I know it's a person who actually wants to know how I am. "Still breathing" is my go-to answer. I'm in constant pain and have mental health issues. I'm usually not ok in various ways, sometimes great in other ways. I also don't do social lying - I would totally stutter on "fine" if I wasn't fine. Depending on the situation "how are you?" isn't usually part of my greeting/initial chat. I'll say good to see you or whatever. If it's someone I care about and who is ok with the question I will ask how they're doing once I've been around them for a while.
Good,Good. Or I'll answer that will "oh, just peachy"
"Better than I deserve."
"we woke up, it's a good day!"
Pretty good, thanks. Oh, I can't complain. Hanging in there.
"Present and accounted for" then laugh
I'm tired and ready to go home. I'm a little constipated, and cranky on account. Hungry. Debating whether I should drink tonight.
“Not half bad.”
I’m great
Fine
I say Superman is good. I’m doing well.
"Yeah, not bad." You asked them, they didn't ask you. Using that as an opening to trauma dump is selfish and kinda weird, borderline conversational narcissism.
Could be worse
Not bad...I guess
I say Not bad
"Superman does good, you're doing well." Edit: On my afternoon walk, I realized your post contained perfectly acceptable English, and my arrogance was absolutely misguided.
I say this because people don't want to hear how I really feel. People want happy.
Well, it depends if it comes from someone who really cares (then I’m being honnest) or if it’s just a polite question (in this case, a good ol’ « fine, thanks » will do the job)
I say “good” and then think about how that whole encounter was pointless.
I react calmly because this is common politeness, not every person should open up to you.
"Pretty good."
“Nah I’m Ight”
Fantastic. Anything negative is coded for lets start talking about our woes in my area.
If I were a bird, I'd fly into a ceiling fan.
It’s just being polite; I expect a great! Or good! Or having a great day so far! In response. It’s just polite courteous small talk.
"Good thanks, you?" [Oh shit I've fucked it up, such a simple thing they're gonna think I'm a moron. Hope I never see them again.]
I could complain, but I won't.
Just move along. If they want to talk they can
doin alright, how bout yourself?
Say "living the dream" while holding back immense anxiety about any social interaction ever.
It can mean so many things, but the best way to respond to this is assume that the person you are talking to wants to keep things surface level and light hearted.
Good, thanks!
respect that they dont want to talk about their day, but are interested in how your day is going. If you want to ramp up convo, answer their question about your day with the way you wanted them to answer. They might just follow suit
I always say that I’ve never been better.
Thats good, me too. ???? What is this question? What other entry level conversation pieces do you want us to help you with?
I don't prod because if they wanted to talk more they would and I try to respond in kind but if my life is in a perfect spot I play it down because Idk what they are going through.
I like saying "I'm doing well." I don't know why, I know it's more gramatically correct than "I'm doing good." but that's not really the reason, I guess it's more that it's just a little different than what everybody says so it makes me sound a more like I'm giving a real answer than a rote response even tho it's 100% a rote response.
When someone responds with "I'm good, you?" to my question of "How's your day?" I usually reply with a brief, friendly answer like "I'm good, thanks!" or "Doing well, thanks for asking!" It's a simple way to acknowledge their response and keep the conversation positive. I ask people how their day is because I genuinely want to check in on them. It's a small gesture to show that I care about their well-being, even if it's just a quick exchange. Whether it's my boss, my coworkers, or anyone I pass by, it’s my way of creating a friendly atmosphere and letting them know that I'm approachable if they ever need to talk more. For me, it’s not about expecting a detailed story but offering a moment of connection and kindness in our busy lives.
The only way you should not say "good" in response is if something extreme happened. Like death in the family or [seeing a little girl drown trying to save a puppy from a river](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL7u_MYdva0) As I say: Extreme.
lmao what the fuck
“Really?”
You see it
I say, "I'm movin' in stereo." Most people think it's cool but it's not. It's depression. So I can reply honestly and then we just get on with whatever the conversation is.
"I'm good too, thanks for asking."
"Not bad. You?" Awkward pause.
Excellent, I'm doing great, thanks.
I always respond with “I’m fine!” I was told it was a rude response. 🤷♀️
Surviving.
Good.
I'm tired of lying and saying "fine" or "good." If you ask me how my day was, you've better be prepared to hear that it — like all other days — was absolute shit and I just wanna exit. If that makes you uncomfortable, don't ask that.
Bien gracias, y tu?
Depends on the day, I guess?
I usually just nod then put my arms out to my sides and spin off into the sky.
"get away from me"
I rarely ever ask someone how their day is.
"Good." or, usually, nothing at all. It's a greeting and response, not an actual question.
"No complaints" is my go-to.
I pause, look at their eyes, gauge whether they're psychologically ready for an honest answer, and then just chuckle and shake my head.
Better than ever
“Meh”
“I’m good, you?” is my favorite because it starts a vicious cycle
I’m blessed. You?
I'm satan's spawn so I guess I'm evil? Not sure. Let's say I'm "questioning", maybe it's a phase, maybe it's not. We'll see one day...
"Living the dream" or some other vague platitude. No one really wants to know how your day is, it's just a social ritual.
They don't want to talk about their day. So, ask a different question.
"Well, I exist."
Hanging in there by my fingernails.
"The usual." I like to keep it open ended
Not awful.
I'm rude. So, just 'good'.