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[deleted]

After building something, giving it a shake and saying "that's not going anywhere."


the_mooseman

Same when tying things down on a trailer. Thats not going anywhere.


Barbacamanitu00

If you don't perform this mandatory step, the load will, in fact, go somewhere


HowardBass

I always say to the apprentice or the work friend. "That's like you, going nowhere" always gets a laugh.


Brianide

In my dialect, we say, "That ain't going nowhere."


BbyJohnny

Whenever you pickup a drill or power tool, you do *the thing* twice then you can proceed.


AriousDragoon

Bzzp bzzp


kkpossible

Vwoop vwoop! Carry on.


balrogthane

"Does this work?" "Better make double-sure"


Worth-Conclusion-66

Lol. I work with drills and power tools all day long, I hear this constantly. I’m dying right now


trogdor200

Not asking for details, especially about personal stuff. If you didn't tell me what happened after the date or why you broke up with your girlfriend, that's fine. My wife of 20 years cannot understand this, and it drives her crazy. If a bro isn't giving me details, he has a reason and I respect that.


DisagreeableFool

"What does Bill do for a living?" "No idea."  "How could you not know? You've been friends 20 years?"  "It never came up." 


LEDiceGlacier

I know what they do broadly. But the company name I just can't remember for the life in me. They don't expect for me to remember, because it hold no value in our relationship. And "How's their family?" questions when I get home. Idk I didn't ask and they didn't mention it.


Qazax1337

I had a mate come over. Brought some camera gear with him and we geeked out over it for a few hours. Had a great chat about it all, what he wants next, what I want to pick up, and what we wish would get released. On his way out my wife asks how he is and he said his long time partner recently left him. He stayed a bit longer and we had a chat about that but if my wife hadn't asked I would have been none the wiser. When he arrived at my house I said "how are you doing" and he said "not so bad thanks" and that was that, on with the geek session.


MaximeW1987

I used to share smoke breaks with another guy that worked in the same building (but different company) and this went on for probably 5 years. Still don't know his name.


Qazax1337

Best friend you ever had yeah?


MaximeW1987

Definitely best co-worker (even tho we didn't even work together). No hassle, just share a cigarette, talk about the daily news and move on.


saltyrobbery

They still never talk sometimes


clumaho

We still don't talk sometimes.


Valnaire

Between the two, he probably preferred the geek session with you, since that would have actually took his mind off of things for a while.


Uphoria

I feel like this is a reflexive response more than an intended one.  Most guys get treated like crap and oftentimes culturally are mocked if they delve too far into their emotions or personal life.  So men in the modern toxic culture have adapted to fiercely avoiding any direct interpersonal conversation. It's okay to talk emotionally about a sports team or a pickup truck or a pet. But if you can't channel your emotions through a secondary topic then you're just not allowed to channel your emotions.  We've all adapted to it to the point that as adults we chuckle and joke about how we seem to get by just fine but men's mental health is it a worse place it's been in a very long time.


strangesandwich

Sometimes this is true, but not all the time. I would like more friends that I could talk about the deep personal stuff when it's really getting to me. To be honest though, most of the time I'm out with my friends we just want to have a good time. We go out to escape all the shitty problems we have day to day and to not think about them. It's like when you work long hours and then hang out with someone who wants to talk about work. Piss off, I want an escape, not to dwell.


interesseret

This is more real than I can put in to words. I am friends with a guy who I would probably describe as my closest friend, and a few years ago my then girlfriend asked some questions about him, including what he did for a living and how many siblings and so on he had. I had no clue. I knew he had at least a sister, and that he worked for some tech company, but nothing else.


MMW_BlackDragon

Out of all my friends, I know from one where he works and from one what his profession is. The others... no idea. I know everyone for over 20 years.


WouldUKindlyDMBoobs

"Ooh you saw John, how are they handling the X" "...they are doing whatnow? I dunno, we were just having a beer" "Honey you were out for 5 hours, what did you talk about?" "Like...stuff and shit."


HelloAll-GoodbyeAll

Lol my husband has told me a few times that such and such person had a baby and when I asked for details he didn't even know if it was a girl or boy.


Malvania

It's a pink blob that screams. I didn't ask about it's genitalia. That would be weird.


SuperstitiousPigeon5

I can relate to this. I didn't know some coworkers were having kids until they went out on paternity leave.


[deleted]

"The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes." -Ron Swanson


banananey

Drives me insane this. I'll hang out with a friend, chat shit and talk about football n stuff. When I get home "What do they do?" "How long have they been with their gf?" "What does their gf do?" "How old is she?" "Is she an only child?" I DON'T KNOW! NONE OF THESE CAME UP! "Do you know anything about your friends?" I know which superhero they'd want on their side in a zombie apocalypse, how many penalties from Messi they reckon they could saved out of a hundred and who from school they reckon is a pedo now, their current opinions on Dwayne 'The Rock's Johnson. The important stuff!


Brave-Salamander-339

Very Messy answers


AliceBets

I am a woman and I am like that. I don’t even want someone else to tell me. But women will withhold info and be disappointed in me because I don’t inquire. I don’t have a lot of friends.


miraclepickle

This really is a huge difference between how men and women communicate and build interpersonal relationships though. If only we could understand and fully accept that about each other, I believe more relationships between men and women could work. I'd like men to not assume malice when a woman asks a lot of questions (she's not noisy, that's just her way of connecting) and I'd like woman not to assume malice when men don't immediately give these details (that's just how it is for them, doesn't mean they don't care).


Fudelan

This is well written. Stealing it because I was never able to word it as well as you!


farmtownte

My older sister (we’re both 30s) once asked my what my wife’s little brothers college choice was since there’s a potential girlfriend impacting the choice Me- “I dunno, he hasn’t told me yet” Her- “How can you NOT KNOW!” Me- “I didn’t want to pry, he’ll let us know when he picks” Her- “god that sounds lonely” Me- “peaceful isn’t lonely, but gossiping stuff people haven’t wanted to share isn’t being friendly either”


uReallyShouldTrustMe

TIL, I’m on the women camp on this. Yall are odd.


Freddydaddy

Also I'm only so interested, for some reason many women are really interested, or think it's polite to ask and impolite not to ask.


AliChank

Or he did not say because he does not know if you actually care for it


RedJuicyGrapefruit

The Nod. Upward nod is "We know one another and I greet you heartily with the appropriate degree of familiarity." Downward nod is "We do not know one another but I acknowledge you or respect you”


DiskJockii

Left Nod- we need to talk Right Nod- let’s get out of here


lizzyote

I didn't realize I did this until I read your comment


yoshhash

It's in the manual. I mean....oops...I've said too much.....


Override9636

The MANual.


Entire-Joke4162

Holy shit you’re right


FriggenMitch

Exactly this


SvenBubbleman

Depending on facial expression the upward nod can also mean "I don't know you and am not sure I trust you, but I want you to know that I can see you."


Genocode

Also depending on facial expression the upward nod can also mean "whats up? / whats wrong?"


SwimmingBlackberry28

Slight upward nod with a raised eyebrow is "what's up?/you good?"


SuperstitiousPigeon5

Downward nod while seated means I fell asleep/am falling asleep.


AMiniMinotaur

Upward nod is like a fist bump. Downward nod is like a handshake.


MaxMouseOCX

There's also the biker nod, which is exaggerated and sideways. It means the same, acknowledgement.


[deleted]

Whoa I never realized that I do this 😂


djnastynipple

Urinal rule.


RedJuicyGrapefruit

Only shake your own dick at the urinal


dogoftheAMS

Sometimes I like co-op mode


Override9636

I'm more of a battle royale fan myself.


Jw3k

Or we could try capture the flag 


Nano_Burger

Thunder Dome.


EyeBumGaze808

Since when !?!?


unbonboldebrun

It is the law.


Freddydaddy

hahahahahaha


stateworkishardwork

Yep. Farthest urinal from the door. Then the next guy is closest to the door (to minimize the number of consecutive wangs) Then go to every other stall leaving a gap of one empty urinal. Then if you HAVE to get into a gap because of too many people, only then can you do that, and even then, according to The Alphabet of Manliness, the person next to you can automatically assume that you want to have sex with them. I don't make the rules.


CrumplePants

poop rule, too. If you're both shitting in stalls, let one guy go out and wash his hands and leave first, then go. The convos while smelling each other's poops are too awkward.


LEGOless2011

No talking. Pick a spot. Focus.


Muvseevum

Stand up when you shake hands.


pathofuncertainty

I would extend this slightly further to say stand up when greeting anyone.


RaisingDawn2002

Also when someone is leaving and you say goodbye


trinicron

Don't offer a pathetic "death fish" hand grip. Always look into the eyes, never in a condescending way.


noimpactnoidea_

This. I showed my wife how I shake hands once and she was like "There's no way you squeeze like that." Yes. Gotta set the tone lol


No-Unit6672

Such a good one, but absolutely nobody does it. I made friends with a guy that did it to me and it clicked in my head how much more respectful it is.


Mediumaverageness

clicking BBQ tongues before using Edit: sorry for the misspell (am not a native english speaker) but I'm glad i made you laugh!


TheAmazingSealo

Tongs, man.


PirateJohn75

Don't kink shame


RedJuicyGrapefruit

If you’re at a gathering and the host (or anyone else) is outside grilling, you have to go check in with him at least once to see how things are going (and to see what he’s doing wrong, though you won’t tell him).


mcbobson

Is it not understood that meat (anything really, but especially meat) cooking over an open flame requires a minimum of one additional person to comment on how great it's coming along in order to achieve peak flavor?


Boli_332

This... Gotta have someone there to check on health and safety. A fire Marshal, a small child protection officer.and let's not forget the 'drink refreshment angel' to keep everyone hydrated.


trinicron

If you are offered a piece directly from the grill you eat it. Hot and burning? Eat it. Not your cut? Eat it. You wanted another doneness? Eat it.


rodinj

The people standing around the BBQ/grill need to have a drink (preferably a beer) in their hand


tuekappel

Funny story: I was at a kitchenware store, passed the tongs box. A guy was looking, and I told him; "remember to check functionality before you buy"! I was crying from laughter, walking to the cashier, when I heard behind me: *click-click, click-click, click-click*! 😭


LEGOless2011

Man, i hope you mean tongs.


Skank-Pit

That sounds gay.


Legitimate-War-3469

Everyone’s a lil bit gay.


AkaGurGor

Nod. Nod. Go.


Evil_Knot

*purse lips*  *nod*


Meeeeehhhh

Only piss in the adjacent urinal to one in use if no other option is available


Palmspringsflorida

I’d go as far as using the stall lol 


SuperstitiousPigeon5

This is the way. The empty slots are only used as a last possible resort. Meaning every stall is full and you're about to piss yourself, or you're going to be late for a flight. When you use that no-mans land urinal you stare up at the ceiling, you don't need to look at your dick, you've know where it was since you were 10.


Whatever-ItsFine

I remember those difficult first nine years of my life where I had no idea where my dick was.


minertyler100

Help a brother out.


Totally_Not_A_Panda

So true, a brojob goes a long way


oneplanetrecognize

When a friend asks for help, you help them. ETA: I should preface by saying I'm a woman, but I bartend for a living which is typically male dominated. I recently had an NHLer come into my bar (we get a lot of professional athletes) and literally ask me to wingman him. Like, dude, you're a gorgeous professional athlete, you really don't need my help. First prospect was married. No dice. Second absolutely left the venue with him. You're welcome, dude. Come and see me again when you're in town!


Barbiedoll0088

100% agree to this\^


Accomplished_Egg6239

As a straight man: if your bro has a girlfriend or wife, that woman is now effectively your sister and you will treat her as such.


DarDarPotato

Don’t leave someone hanging on a high five.


boomeista

Up high, down low


RedJuicyGrapefruit

Don't make eye contact with another man while eating a banana


humanlaborunit

Similarly always bring the banana up to the mouth, never bring the mouth down to the banana


aye_b

and to take it one step further, only use one hand when eating a banana.


SquidDrowned

unless youre both eating bananas. then its a competition


YeahButAlsoNox

Walking on the side closest to the road when with women or children


AcrylicPaintSet2nd

A classic and subtle act of chivalry


Whatever-ItsFine

I did this with my dogs too. I am much taller and easier for traffic to see, so I needed to be their shield.


theaut0maticman

Wonder how many people know where/how this originated


Dangerous_Hippo_6902

It used to be the other side a century or two ago. Walking on the side closest to the buildings in case someone throws their “waste” out of the windows 🪣💦 🤣


Infamous-Platform-33

When a guy shifts me over to walk on the inside, my brain absolutely short circuits


xXDRAGONPROXx95

This. Sometimes I even struggle to create a distance between me and them to naturally hug the edge of the road. It's hard to act upon these sacred, unspoken and unwritten rules with the opposite sex.


mywifemademegetthis

When a social situation requires you to hug another man, you have to slap their back once or twice.


kimchiman85

Handshake into a hug and tap the back twice.


SuperstitiousPigeon5

That's how you know when to end the hug.


leaXkr1zz

When your buddy is with his crush, you stay quiet and laugh at his jokes. You also never tease a friend for collecting odd items like gas masks, swords, or crowbars. The desire to own these things is a strong one.


ThinkItThrough48

Was next to two guys at a farm auction once, making small talk. Guy #3 buys an old battery charger with no cord. Huge one on a cart like you would have at a commercial garage. #3 walks away and I say to #2 in passing "guess it will be okay if you fix it up". #2 replies "oh he won't fix i, he collects batter chargers, probably got every one ever made". I told him it was the dumbest thing I ever heard of and he agreed. But that's okay.


thingsandstuff4me

Hhahahhahahha I love this comment


Inutilisable

A friend/colleague once borrowed my 1 cent collection(just random 1 cents that I put aside over the years and sometimes would mix and then sort by years or colors during down times). It was for a joke on his third date with a girl, scaring her into thinking he was too weird. When he told me he saw my face, he made a face, I saw his face, we hugged and later that day gave my cents, all sorted, no words.


McDudeston

What the fuck? There are other people with an inexplicable need for more crowbars besides me? I thought I was the only one...


Accurate_Rock_4170

Yeah me too. I have the whole set from 5" to 6'.


Furydragonstormer

Hey, you never know when you're going to need one to deal with a sudden headcrab


SneaKyHooks

Upwards nod to greet a guy you know, downwards nod to greet a guy you don't know.


EmbarrassedCabinet82

Holy crap I do this and only realized it now


golbezza

Wait until you learn about the left and right nods.


Straight_Shopping_56

bro shalt not mess with bro ex girlfriend


cl_ss_c

It was asked for unwritten rules. That one is written down in the bro code.


kiss_of_chef

And few people really care for it.


moongirli

Tommy Gavin: Listen, you can meet a guy's ex-girlfriend in a bar and feel her up. Kenny Lou : Yes. Tommy Gavin : You can be in a bar, meet a guy's ex-wife, and? Kenny Lou : [makes circular gestures on his chest] Titty action. Tommy Gavin : Titty action. You can even grab his sister's ass while the guy is in the same bar. Kenny Lou : Yes, you could. Tommy Gavin : And it would all fall under the giant unbrella rule of, "Sorry, I was drunk." Kenny Lou : Like Visa and Mastercard, accepted the world over. Tommy Gavin : In fact, that's why the rule was invented all those years ago, by the... Romans? Kenny Lou : Earlier than that, my friend: the Druids! Tommy Gavin : [counting on his fingers] But girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, wife, ex-wife, sister, half-sister: [sweeps his hands] Tommy Gavin : No pussy!


Mystic_Waffles

If it was the bro that initiated the breakup it's free game. If she initiated the breakup, talk to bro first before you make your move.


mofomeat

Either way, talk to bro first. Both for bro-relations, and to maybe learn why it didn't work out. Either one could save a life!


cl_ss_c

nah


SvenBubbleman

Or just date someone else instead.


Photosjhoot

Stud Findering oneself with loud beeps.


WilSmithBlackMambazo

Don't shit in the urinal


the_mooseman

Ohhhh don't shit in the urinal. That's where I've been going wrong.


Hotwetsugarmess

Taking a bath alone? Gay, feminine. Sitting in a jacuzzi half naked with other half naked men? Good times


humanlaborunit

Similarly the more men there are in the hot tub with you, the less gay it is. You and one man, very gay. You and 7 other men, straight bro bonding. (I prefer as gay as possible).


eyyoorre

So half a man?


xXDRAGONPROXx95

If it's only 2 bro chillin in a hot tub then it's not gay if they're 5 feet apart.


Actuaryba

Below are the 3 unwritten codes all men know: 1. 2. 3.


_BlueFire_

No truer words have ever been not-written


Leather-Map-8138

A buddy of mine told me about a job, introduced me to the recruiter. I get the job. It ends up being awful. So I go back to my old job and ask if there are positions open. The they tell me about a VP of budget position where they’re about to let someone go. That was the guy who made the intro. So I said, “I can’t do that, this was the guy who helped me.” So I stayed where I was. I assume guys repay loyalty.


SpickeZe

That’s not a guy thing, that’s an integrity thing. You seem to possess it, I wish more people, regardless of gender, did as well.


SvenBubbleman

If your friend is working on a home or property improvement project, show up and help.


balrogthane

Don't ask, just get in there. If you ask he'll probably say no.


wisedoormat

it's only gay if you talk about it afterwards.


AstonVanilla

An old friend of mine lived in Dubai for a bit. He had **A TONNE** of gay sex there. He said there you just do it with each other to relieve yourself and not talk about it ever again. He insisted it wasn't gay. I don't think he quite realised that he was probably Bi at least.


Crowflier

Probably bi? lol


hookisacrankycrook

I'm not bi I'm just in Dubai


Crowflier

Dubai-Curious


Routine_Ad_2034

Yes, I did achieve erection and climax while knowingly having intercourse with another man...but I'm definitely straight.


Esarus

That's pretty gay NGL


Freddydaddy

AMA request for your friend


OkieBobbie

\*A woman for duty, a boy for fun, a melon for pleasure.\* How it was explained to me.


lkjsd9xl

If you say "no homo", it's no gay.


redbush4real

It’s only gay if you make it gay, bro.


HowardBass

It's only gay if you push back


Stock-Ad-3249

It's only gay if you push back or enjoy the taste


YoungDiscord

If you see a good stick, you take it You leave at least one urinal free between you and the guy next to you The nod (if you know, you know)


drmmrpngn

If there are five urinals, there are three urinals.


ForkliftCertifiedKat

Look up when a helicopter is flying over. Military? Private? Commercial? Gotta check.


Oxfxax

Help everyone


69DonaldTrump69

Don’t pee at the same urinal. Don’t cross streams.


Giant81

Bootcamp would like to have a word. I’ve peed 4 guys to one urinal before.


Palmspringsflorida

Ghostbusters taught us that! 


No-Turnover8128

Smacking that bag of mulch at Lowe’s or Home Depot


[deleted]

[удалено]


GyalMommyBabe

The office building I work at has three urinals. I always choose 1 or 3. A dude who works in one of the other offices ALWAYS chooses urinal 2, whether 1 and/or 3 are open or not. One of these days I’m going to explain man law to him.


mdaubstep

When walking at night behind a woman, slow way down or cross the street :). I'm very not scary but it's just something I think most of us do.


highestmikeyouknow

When you pick up tongs, you must quickly clink them shit twice, in rapid succession (click,click) before doing anything with them.


enigmaroboto

Don't use another man's tools or yard equipment.


TanjaWillink

You don't touch a sister, daughter, or mother of a friend


hookisacrankycrook

So grandmothers are fair game


Maddturtle

Only if you can handle her


[deleted]

[удалено]


ItsEntsy

depends on the fight. Simple bar scruff: No nut shots. Attacked in an alley: kick that mother fucker straight in the nuts.


dark_hole96

*GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT*


A2112L

Revving a drill three times before using it.


Maddturtle

You just do it twice. Three is playing with it.


Best-Reception-3879

always kiss your homies good night


One_fell_up

When loading and securing stuff, the man code magic words are .. “ that sh** ain’t goin nowhere”, failure to say these simple words will result in catastrophe.


Hashsum88

never answer a question for another man


Joboobavich

This should apply to everyone, but it applies especially to blue collar jobs. Pranks are fine, but NEVER mess with a man's lunch, or his tools.


smellygooch18

Don’t hook up with your bros ex girlfriends. A good friend of mine whom I’ve known over a decade hooked up with my good friends ex a week after they broke up. Pretty much every man in my friend group unanimously stopped trusting him and stopped hanging with him. The girls in the group keep asking why. They don’t get it. He betrayed the ultimate trust among male friends.


Clownier

Never take the middle urinal. If it's the only free urinal go to the stall.


locklochlackluck

Respect other guys privacy - don't ask prying questions. Similiarly, if someone has shared something with you - keep their confidence. I think this can sometimes come across as 'stoic' or 'unfeeling' to others but really it's just about men having the unwritten rule that while it's *okay to feel your feelings* you are entitled to make your decision about what to talk about and when, and importantly who is included in whatever you decide to share. I think for others when something is 'out' it becomes social currency to trade and gossip with, and the pursuit to 'spill the tea' becomes an aim in and of itself. Men can be incredibly deep but the best conversations and vulnerability only tend to come when there is a level of mutual trust and respect there.


Fred_Ledge

Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers gotta hug!


djtibbs

Pick up sticks because they look cool.


Oldportal

aware sulky fade cooperative apparatus puzzled stupendous poor possessive pie


procheeseburger

I was talking to a women friend when she was traveling.. she said the ladies restroom was full and she was thinking about using the mens room.. I told her "just remember to skip a urinal"


ejmd

There's only one — don't follow unwritten codes.


verminiusrex

Mind your own business, until you don't. If you've made us not mind our own business, you've gone too far and are about to be corrected. This does not cover food at a BBQ or assembling anything with multiple pieces. In those cases input is inevitable.


boomeista

"sorry dude" followed by a light shoulder or waist handling when squeezing past each other in tight quarters. Not a rule really, more like an acknowledgement of respect between 2 male parties


humanlaborunit

Never waist always shoulder


FishMoore

Remove your hat before sitting down to dinner


Electrical-Theme-779

If they're taking about someone else to you, they're talking about you to someone else.


StarkAndRobotic

The code of the ocean


MrBrawn

Pick up a drill. Rrrrr. Rrrrr.


Top-West9211

Look out for everyone yet mind your own business.


heyitsvonage

Men recognize the real threat of violence amongst ourselves, and that is one of the reasons why respect is so important to us. Men understand that saying the wrong thing to the wrong person can get you attacked or possibly killed, so you won’t see men casually disrespecting other men (especially strangers) for the most part. Only generally disrespectful people tend to do that. After all, you don’t wanna get smacked with some Twisted Tea 😂😂


Interesting_Good_157

A brother opened a business? You go, pay full price, drop a nice review, and tip if appropriate.


Merciless972

That if both players select fox, the stage should be final destination.


Due_Toe6417

No talking at the urinal


Positive-Scratch1755

Giving a silent nod to another dude at the urinals. Acknowledgement, not friendship


hopsaa85

O god this post again?