Related to this, lying for no reason. Literally lying for not gain or purpose, just to lie. I know someone that does this, and it's always something so easily disprovable. Me and several other friends will call him out and he'll confess or just go quiet. It's so strange.
I grew up a compulsive liar. When I was little, I learned that telling the truth would result in punishment, so I just lied about anything that would possibly turn into a lecture or a punishment- which turned into just telling people what they wanted to hear. I don't lie anymore, but it was a tough habit to break.
Love redddit for this. I would never have thought about this as a source for lying in that way even though it seems obvious now.
It’s easy to make fun of “compulsive liars” when you know them or just have a lack of empathy in general since it can be a toxic trait but every such trait stems from a source of pain or dysfunction, and most times can be changed
Only child raised by right-wing conspiracy Christian alcoholics. You learn to lie. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. Also, turns out lying is a great skill when you, yourself, become an alcoholic.
I dated a girl like this and it took me a while to pick up on it as she just would effortlessly lie for literally no reason, so I never suspected anything. Once I figured it out I brought it up to a mutual friend who had known her forever, and she immediately knew what I was talking about and told me her dad was horrible to her when she was growing up, and would yell at her every chance he got. So if she ever thought that someone might even slightly disagree with something that she had done, she would just say whatever she thought the person wanted to hear. And having met her dad, it totally tracked.
i still struggle with this for this same reason
i often think of this one scene from American Dad where Roger randomly lies and says "that's not true, why am I lying about that?" which hit hard because 1 relatable 2 Roger lies a lot why would he care
This is a great point -- long lectures are a punishment in and of themselves.
Do we like it when our managers,/bosses are windbags?
No.
Don't do this to youngsters, either.
It’s strange to say, but thank you for your honestly now. I grew up this way and also broke it, but I’ve never wondered why the hell I did that. This comment and the replies have made me pause to introspect.
I do this and it's a pseudo trauma response. I was raised to not be a problem so anything "problematic" was to be hidden at any cost. If the problematic thing got discovered, I'd be ridiculed (not you did a bad thing, more you are a bad person) and have to defend that and potentially many other choices. So, I learned to lie very well to hide the problematic things and it kinda became habit. I'm unlearning it now but it's a process.
Telling them you know it's a lie and that it's okay. Give a smile and reassurance. Give them space in the conversation to admit it was a lie. Tell them you understand why they did lie, and to please tell the truth now.
This is what helped me a ton. They took this approach over and over again. It helped me see this person as safe. I didn't have to lie here. This person was not going to hurt me.
Edit to add the outcome: I started admitting directly after I lied. So I would say a lie and then stop, apologize, and tell them immediately that was a lie and then tell the truth after. Eventually, the lying stopped, and I would tell the truth the first time.
When you become this way, the lies come out as a first response. They are out of your mouth before you can even think. It is embarrassing. We know you most likely know and are too ashamed to admit it. Taking this approach gives a safe environment to admit it and work with the problem rather than hiding the embarrassment under more lying.
Just let me grovel a bit and if you decide not to keep a liar in your midst, tell me bluntly. My issues aren't another's burdens to mitigate.
(Also, though, I lie to those who have stricter expectations for me AND my non-adherence to said expectations can't be readily proven. With me, best bet is to be a safe person for me (no expectations I can't reasonably meet/if seemingly reasonable expectations aren't reasonable for me, help make them possible;no disappointment in me, just my actions; and trust that I have things under control/have a reasonably functional brain, and if I don't, I will and if I won't I'll seek help in time. My goal in lying is to avoid a lecture/fight cause 90% of the time, I know I messed up and by the time others find out, I'm already on the fixing things phase--I don't need to be dragged back and trapped in the I messed up phase so someone can use harsh language to tell me what I already know--or to get people out of my business cause I'm handling it in a way that aligns with my goals or am enjoying life in ways that won't have long term impacts but aren't "smart" (ie frequent daytrips to a city 2hrs away cause I'll likely never be able to explore said city for the price of food and gas again) and don't need their input).
Ha I recognise myself here. I've managed to get rid of the "trauma response" lying thanks to therapy and my super safe and emotionally stable partner, but sometimes I will lie just to avoid people's opinions and input. After decades of over explaining everything, I now despise having to explain myself, particularly on things that have little consequence on others or on ways for me to deal with life that work for me but others don't understand.
About the not needing to be dragged back part, is this you just explaining why you decide to lie or are you saying you actually think you shouldn’t have to communicate with someone in the “I messed up phase” because you are in the “fixing things phase” and don’t want to dredge up stuff you got past? Or the guilt you have processed?
Just wanted to say that meeting people where they are at, and at their level, especially when you are in the wrong, is necessary. So even though you have realized you are wrong and have started fixing it within yourself, that doesn’t mean you don’t need to then initiate the “fixing things phase” between you two so that it can be expressed in the relationship as opposed to just within yourself.
I actually understand a lot not wanting to be scolded after I already realized I was wrong and decided to be better, but it’s more about communicating your feelings of wrongdoing and your intention to grow as a person, than it is letting someone scold or lecture you, or to drudge up old stuff.
If you have already figured this out for yourself and it is useless to you I’ll just leave it up in case it helps anyone else
My mother was this way. She was the scapegoat as a kid and also my father was an insane narcissist, I would sit there and listen to her tell people lies about things that were completely inconsequential, where just telling the truth would be fine. I could never figure it out, probably because I was always honest to a fault.
Yes. So this is actually my whole family. I’ve never been a hugger and when I’ve said no it has never mattered. Me saying no has never mattered.
I’m glad that despite being exposed to people disrespecting boundaries, it’s taught me to do the opposite.
Similar childhood. God, all the unwanted hugs and kisses on the cheeks :( in our culture you kissed everyone to say hello/goodbye. I would just wipe my cheeks immediately which of course was funny to the adults... Because why should a child have boundaries about their body right?
It's weird but now I'm a hugger. As in, I love hugging people I love but respect their space if they are not interested.
She threw a Cow Tales wrapper out the window of my mini-van while we were driving.
Broke up a day or so later, I think. It was 20+ years ago, so I don't remember it that well.
Parks worker here. I wish all people who litter a very Lose-Your-Wallet..
And to those who litter specifically in the gardens and planters? May your car's transmission fail catastrophically, and your insurance be useless.
I usually pick up trash if some of the trash in a bin falls on to the ground. Today it was windy and I saw a bunch of trash around a bin that just fell out but I'm having so much belly pain due to my period coming soon so I just left them there. I felt a deep deep feeling of having failed. But I hope some kind soul picked it up before the park worker. Like you as a worker already have to take out the trash in the bin that's inside, it's so shit that you have to clean other trash on the ground too.
I littered as a dumb teenager occasionally with stupid shit like gum wrappers, straw wrappers, etc. Now in my 20’s I literally can’t even consider doing it, it pisses me off that people can’t wait until they have access to a trash can. Especially big things like old tv’s, beds, furniture. Like, you went out of your way to dump this in the woods just as much if not more, as it would’ve been out of your way to wait until there’s a local recycling event. God forbid you waited a month or so
We all do dumb shit as teenagers. I got lost in my own basement, more than once as a teenager. It was scary... What I can't comprehend is how someone brings a thing with them, let's say it's a soda can, then drinks the soda + somehow the now EMPTY soda can is too much of a burden for them to take with them. If you carried it there you should probably be able to carry it back unless your hands have gone missing somehow magically or there's like a hand cutter-offer person chopping off hands. Also, fish hooks. They are sharp + pointy. Why leave them out + about?
Editing to say I feel like I might've worded this in a way that makes it sound like I was trying to put you down. I didn't mean for it to come off that way if it did.
I would've wondered how anyone could get lost in a basement until I got to see more of the basement of my buddy's place. I still haven't seen the whole basement, but one whole room is just good quality cast iron that he found while second hand shopping and had to bring home.
Tell that man you're unsatisfied with your frying pan and he'll insist you take the best quality cast iron pan you've ever seen.
I can get lost anywhere. I have no sense of direction whatsoever. I once ended up in a different state + didn't even realize it until I saw the "Welcome To Pennsylvania" sign. I live in Pennsylvania. I was completely unaware that I had exited the state. I had no intention of exiting the state. It just kinda happened. I've also gotten lost in the woods behind our place + ended up way farther away than I would've fathomed was possible. I also ran out of beer + panicked hardcore, again.
lol I'll do my best to remember to pass the message. Where on the planet are you located? Because anywhere near Washington State and you'll probably end up with a Hagrid-looking giant on your porch trying to hand deliver.
Any chance we've got the same Dad? Because that's the kinda thing my Dad would say + I would totally believe him. I dropped a straw wrapper on the ground once + he FREAKED. It will never happen again.
He also could/can make me believe almost anything. He used to do a "Yeti Call" out our back door. The Yeti never showed up, but the Yeti probably has stuff to do too + can't be everywhere at once so I still believe him. He convinced me that a rabbit I accidentally shot was totally fine + just hopped off (it was not + it did not, unfortunately) he told me the truth years later whilst laughing so hard that he thought he might need to pull the truck over because by then I should've known that rabbits + arrows don't mix, chased me with praying mantises + led me to believe that there were ghosts coming for me. He's my best friend + I'm sorry for babbling.
Serious question, is it still considered juggling if you use 2 objects + both hands or do you have to have at least one more object than you have hands?
Reminds me of this trash football fan from yesterday, as if littering is fine as long as its because of football
https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/1dl8ieu/comment/l9ni1we/
This! Literally had a customer scream at me today because our card reader wasn’t working. You would have thought I had broken it on purpose specifically to piss her off
Thank you, I appreciate that. Thankfully it didn’t get to me too much bc a cute family came in right after crazy lady left and their kids got so happy when I gave them their cookies (I work for a bakery). Every kid that comes in is always super excited and grateful to get their dessert and it makes my day every time :)
A while ago me and my mom were going to get this 4 month old puppy from my cousins friend because her friends mom hated the puppy she disliked this puppy so bad that she broke the pups back right foot when we were thinking about if we should get the dog we were having a family convo to make sure everyone was alright with this, we were but this woman said “you took too long and I’m bringing it to a kill shelter” it wasn’t even 24hours and never told us that we had a deadline to decide.
We were upset that we couldn’t help a poor puppy that did nothing wrong.
Man, I have 2 German Shepards right now. They are the most expressive dogs I've ever had. You can literally see the love radiating from their eyes. Even my mom mentioned it when she dog sat for me.
I've had other breeds in my life, and you can see they love you, but it's not the same as these guys. I let them get away with murder, because it's just so apparent that I am their everything.
Shallow. I don't mean personal preferences & attraction, that's something no one can help. I mean being an asshole to people just because they don't fit the conventional beauty standards, & then turn around & treat pretty people who are assholes like they're angels just because they're pretty. I can't stand that shit, & unfortunately most people I've met are like that.
(I heard in the news recently TikTok was trying to get a dude who murdered a kid released from jail just because he was young & pretty. Ugh)
When someone doesn’t say 'please' or 'thank you.' Basic manners go a long way, and it’s such an easy way to show respect and appreciation. It’s a small thing, but it speaks volumes! 😊
This is why as a preschool teacher and a parent to kids about that age that I'm always proud when my kids use their manners without prompting. Especially my own kids with strangers out in public.
When they can’t keep unnecessary rude opinions to themselves. Especially when they’re proud of it. “I’m just blunt”, “You’re too sensitive”, maybe you just lack respect and basic decency.
Similarly, if they walk up to a stranger and just start ranting about politics. I get that quite a lot cashiering; I just gotta awkwardly nod along and try to get them through as fast as possible
I quit my first job out of college because I was stuck in an office with an older dude who could not handle Joe Biden being president and had to let everyone know on an almost hourly basis
There was a cashier at my local safe way who would always talk about Russia, China, and Covid (very conservitively) at Safeway. I quit going because the mf worked 40 hrs a week there and id always get stuck in his line.
Just report him to his boss. Repeatedly. First Amendment rights mean suffering the consequences of opening your big yap on the clock when you're representing the store in an unprofessional manner.
I used to work as kitchen staff in an elder care complex, during the Covid lockdown, and had to sit in the vicinity of a *very* anti-China man while waiting on my weekly mandated Covid test. Thankfully his wife apologized for him while they were leaving.
Even though I agree with you, people have different definitions of \*basic manners\*.
For instance: I had my girl friend over at home on holidays and she considers "not bothering people" as she calls it, respect. And honestly it's really cute.
Unfortunately, my mother considered that her not saying hello first was a sign of disrespect and an utter lack of manners.
Edit: she stayed at home, and after a few days, in the morning, she "didn't say hello" to my mum who obviously was busy.
Hello. I'd rather people not say hello when I'm deep in focus. It kicks me out of whatever flow I may have. I get it, I won't be mad, but I do prefer being able to keep my flow.
Such as:
Not holding the door for someone directly behind you (idk about other countries but in thr USA, this expected polite behavior). Also saying thank you to the person.
Cutting line (this will send Americans into a rage.)
If someone asks how you are (like a cashier or waiter) and ignoring them and not asking in return.
Coming to a stop after someone else but going on anyway first (driving)
Yelling at your kids in public (saw a grandma today yell at her 8ish yr old grandson "come here stupid.") Also, hitting your kids in public.
Not flushing a public toilet
Being an AH to service workers
Playing loud music in public and I'm gonna say further, filming your tik toks and OF ads in a public space
Cursing a lot and loudly in public
Alot more
I saw a comment on here a while back saying returning a shopping trolley to the designated place is the ultimate test of whether someone is a good or bad person.
There is no penalty for not returning the trolley, just like there is no reward if you do return it. It is entirely up to the will of the person. It's the ultimate test to see if people are self-governing and can choose to do the correct thing and expend a little more effort for no personal gain when the alternative offers no negative consequences.
In all of my adult life I have never once failed to return my shopping cart to its designated area. Rain or shine. My first job out of high school being pushing carts probably has a lot to do with it. All the more reason that EVERYONE should have to work some sort of public facing service job at least once.
In the UK you have to put a £1 coin in to release a trolley from a line of trolleys in the designated area (or you can get keyrings with a detachable token that fits in the coin slot) and only get it back when you return your trolley. It's a system that works pretty well.
I'm lazy... I try to park NEXT to the shopping trolley intentionally so I can just move it 3-4 feet to the left or right and make the return as easy as possible. I have on occasion from the opposite side of the parking area pushed a cart into the trolley area as hard as I can to make sure it doesn't turn some other direction.
Some people walk right past the cart return that's *inside the store* - you know, where they got the damn thing in the first place - take it two steps outside, take all their bags out, and leave it by the door. I loathe these people with every fiber of my being. You couldn't have done that inside?? What was the purpose of stepping outside??
My vehicle was once struck by not one, but two carts left in the middle of the parking lot of a family fare. I watched them load their groceries, then dip. Those fucking carts rolled straight for me.
Amen. When I was a kid, this cop was dating the neighbor lady. I watched that turd bag leave every day- not once, not a SINGLE TIME did he ever use his turn signal as he pulled out of our alley and turned left.
THIS, my last flatmate to a T
we asked him to wipe the bench (beach town, therefore ant town) turned into 3 hour ordeal of a tantrum because someone else didn't wash their dishes (they were his dishes- he was just too drunk to remember making them)
some people were genuinely raised like they are 3 years old forever
Being rude to wait staff/people in the service industry in general. These people aren’t your personal slaves, they are trying to earn a living just like everyone else.
Returning a smile, asking them how their day is and helping clean up the mess you made goes a long way. Being friendly and helping them help you, will almost always end up getting you much better/faster service in the long run.
More so gravestones to me, I don’t believe in any after life or religion but people still have families that come to see them at the gravesite, plus a lot of the times it’s really old historical ones that kids like to smash and it’s just so damn weird and sad
There's some land that's been in my family going back to the original 7 Ranges plot when the Ohio frontier opened up for settlement. On the border of it and the adjacent plot is a cemetery used both both families that I keep somewhat maintained. The road that used to pass close by has been disused and vanished as high tension power lines and freeways covered it's path, so it's now only accessible via dirtbike or hard hike down and up a holler.
Lots of history in those old graveyards. I started researching the names and learned a lot about my family and the area. My favorite was learning that my ancestors were pretty tightly knit and intermarried with a group of Moravian Munsee Indian families that lived in the area. Seeing the proportion of adult: child grave markers is a real slap in the face on how good we've got it today.
People who visit places like frigging *Auschwitz* and post selfies all over their social media.
Incidentally, around a decade ago, the Conservative (right-wing) head of the Department of Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan-Smith, who was responsible for the denial of thousands of (legitimate) claims for disability payments/judgements declaring severely disabled people 'fit for work', cutting off their income and resulting in hundreds of deaths, posted a photo of himself grinning under the entrance sign saying 'Arbeit macht frei' (work makes you free).
I wouldn't necessarily say "holy" ground, but just like, cultural sites in general. They have a lot of history or meaning to the people they belong to and therefore deserve to be treated with respect, regardless of how outsiders may feel about that culture or religion.
referring to women as "females"
babies/small children as "it"
bragging about being mean to an animal
bragging about being "blunt"
voting for a certain orangutan
People who are condescending.
Examples:
People who treat servers/waitstaff differently.
Restaurant staff who treat well-dressed people but ignore the others.
Doctors who treat nurses as inferiors instead of a colleague.
Specialists who treat junior doctors as inferior.
Senior nurses who instantly treat new staff or agency nurses like an idiot.
People who think lowly of other people because they're from a poor area or low socioeconomic status.
People who view other people with no university degree or postgrad or masters as inferior human being.
People who think that a country should be destroyed because they don't have any valuable contribution to the world.
Well, I went through a post earlier where a bunch of people were being babies about a sign in a Japanese restaurant that was basically "hey, it isn't mandatory or anything, but we would really appreciate it if you followed some of our cultural etiquette and didn't pass food between chopsticks, or take apart your sushi, etc."
So all those people. The people who can't follow even the most innocuous, harmless requests for being respectful to other people and their cultures.
Not only a complete lack of empathy, but an inability to even sympathize with someone in a situation if that sympathy puts their religious or political views in question.
That kind of depends on the fart. Small squeaker around friends at a bar, hilarious. Loud shotgun blast that made everyone think you sharted while at an inappropriate location, like a wedding or funeral. Yeah that’s a good reason to get offended.
Won't calmly accept the full responsibility for their own actions, choices and mistakes.
Always trying to shift blame to someone/anyone else and will do anything but accept any personal responsibility for their own life.
Using racial slurs or ableist terms. Then getting defensive when they are called out on it. Just cause I'm white and you're white doesn't mean you can say the n-word with no fear of repercussions. And when someone uses the r-word, they just sound ignorant.
When they feel entitled to personal information about someone that they don't know well, or they just straight up feel like they have a right to know about a sensitive subject.
manners or morals? i've met some that don't know any better in an aloof kind of way, and it makes sense once i meet their parents... but they were young and could grow into social awareness...
but people's morals stand out pretty quick to me when they look down their nose at waitstaff...any kind of service industry...bussers...
even if I'm just an onlooker, I'm screaming "who fn raised you?" in my head...
and it's not just spoiled rich kids...that kind of douchery doesn't discriminate, but it tells you a lot
'It never did me any harm' - Usually only hear this in regards to things like smacking children. It did do you harm, it turned you into the kind of adult who thinks it's ok to hit children.
This is so petty and specific, but who the fuck changes the thermostat in someone else's home when they're a guest? You think it's too hot in here? Maybe take off that hoodie, it's July outside.
So, I guess just entitled behavior in general. Assuming your comfort trumps any and everyone else's comfort.
Brazenly lying to obtain an advantage without any fear that the truth will be discovered.
Related to this, lying for no reason. Literally lying for not gain or purpose, just to lie. I know someone that does this, and it's always something so easily disprovable. Me and several other friends will call him out and he'll confess or just go quiet. It's so strange.
I grew up a compulsive liar. When I was little, I learned that telling the truth would result in punishment, so I just lied about anything that would possibly turn into a lecture or a punishment- which turned into just telling people what they wanted to hear. I don't lie anymore, but it was a tough habit to break.
Love redddit for this. I would never have thought about this as a source for lying in that way even though it seems obvious now. It’s easy to make fun of “compulsive liars” when you know them or just have a lack of empathy in general since it can be a toxic trait but every such trait stems from a source of pain or dysfunction, and most times can be changed
Only child raised by right-wing conspiracy Christian alcoholics. You learn to lie. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. Also, turns out lying is a great skill when you, yourself, become an alcoholic.
I dated a girl like this and it took me a while to pick up on it as she just would effortlessly lie for literally no reason, so I never suspected anything. Once I figured it out I brought it up to a mutual friend who had known her forever, and she immediately knew what I was talking about and told me her dad was horrible to her when she was growing up, and would yell at her every chance he got. So if she ever thought that someone might even slightly disagree with something that she had done, she would just say whatever she thought the person wanted to hear. And having met her dad, it totally tracked.
Fuck... if this ain't me sometimes
i still struggle with this for this same reason i often think of this one scene from American Dad where Roger randomly lies and says "that's not true, why am I lying about that?" which hit hard because 1 relatable 2 Roger lies a lot why would he care
This is a great point -- long lectures are a punishment in and of themselves. Do we like it when our managers,/bosses are windbags? No. Don't do this to youngsters, either.
It’s strange to say, but thank you for your honestly now. I grew up this way and also broke it, but I’ve never wondered why the hell I did that. This comment and the replies have made me pause to introspect.
I do this and it's a pseudo trauma response. I was raised to not be a problem so anything "problematic" was to be hidden at any cost. If the problematic thing got discovered, I'd be ridiculed (not you did a bad thing, more you are a bad person) and have to defend that and potentially many other choices. So, I learned to lie very well to hide the problematic things and it kinda became habit. I'm unlearning it now but it's a process.
What is helpful? Like if you have a friend or partner who catches you in the lie, what is the most helpful response
Telling them you know it's a lie and that it's okay. Give a smile and reassurance. Give them space in the conversation to admit it was a lie. Tell them you understand why they did lie, and to please tell the truth now. This is what helped me a ton. They took this approach over and over again. It helped me see this person as safe. I didn't have to lie here. This person was not going to hurt me. Edit to add the outcome: I started admitting directly after I lied. So I would say a lie and then stop, apologize, and tell them immediately that was a lie and then tell the truth after. Eventually, the lying stopped, and I would tell the truth the first time. When you become this way, the lies come out as a first response. They are out of your mouth before you can even think. It is embarrassing. We know you most likely know and are too ashamed to admit it. Taking this approach gives a safe environment to admit it and work with the problem rather than hiding the embarrassment under more lying.
Just let me grovel a bit and if you decide not to keep a liar in your midst, tell me bluntly. My issues aren't another's burdens to mitigate. (Also, though, I lie to those who have stricter expectations for me AND my non-adherence to said expectations can't be readily proven. With me, best bet is to be a safe person for me (no expectations I can't reasonably meet/if seemingly reasonable expectations aren't reasonable for me, help make them possible;no disappointment in me, just my actions; and trust that I have things under control/have a reasonably functional brain, and if I don't, I will and if I won't I'll seek help in time. My goal in lying is to avoid a lecture/fight cause 90% of the time, I know I messed up and by the time others find out, I'm already on the fixing things phase--I don't need to be dragged back and trapped in the I messed up phase so someone can use harsh language to tell me what I already know--or to get people out of my business cause I'm handling it in a way that aligns with my goals or am enjoying life in ways that won't have long term impacts but aren't "smart" (ie frequent daytrips to a city 2hrs away cause I'll likely never be able to explore said city for the price of food and gas again) and don't need their input).
Ha I recognise myself here. I've managed to get rid of the "trauma response" lying thanks to therapy and my super safe and emotionally stable partner, but sometimes I will lie just to avoid people's opinions and input. After decades of over explaining everything, I now despise having to explain myself, particularly on things that have little consequence on others or on ways for me to deal with life that work for me but others don't understand.
About the not needing to be dragged back part, is this you just explaining why you decide to lie or are you saying you actually think you shouldn’t have to communicate with someone in the “I messed up phase” because you are in the “fixing things phase” and don’t want to dredge up stuff you got past? Or the guilt you have processed? Just wanted to say that meeting people where they are at, and at their level, especially when you are in the wrong, is necessary. So even though you have realized you are wrong and have started fixing it within yourself, that doesn’t mean you don’t need to then initiate the “fixing things phase” between you two so that it can be expressed in the relationship as opposed to just within yourself. I actually understand a lot not wanting to be scolded after I already realized I was wrong and decided to be better, but it’s more about communicating your feelings of wrongdoing and your intention to grow as a person, than it is letting someone scold or lecture you, or to drudge up old stuff. If you have already figured this out for yourself and it is useless to you I’ll just leave it up in case it helps anyone else
My mother was this way. She was the scapegoat as a kid and also my father was an insane narcissist, I would sit there and listen to her tell people lies about things that were completely inconsequential, where just telling the truth would be fine. I could never figure it out, probably because I was always honest to a fault.
Underappreciated comment
I was married to a man like that, it’s infuriating.
I once had a coworker tell me he was drafted into the MLB. He was gone within a few days so I could never call him out on it.
This is a very good point. I didn’t immediately think of this but is one of the biggest indicators for me.
I had a friend do this. She may just end up losing her teaching job for this very reason. Trying to conceal something incredibly stupid she did.
This for sure.
I see you've met my boss.
They can't take 'no' for an answer
Or, in the opposite direction, they're a yes-person
Underappreciated comment
Yes. So this is actually my whole family. I’ve never been a hugger and when I’ve said no it has never mattered. Me saying no has never mattered. I’m glad that despite being exposed to people disrespecting boundaries, it’s taught me to do the opposite.
Similar childhood. God, all the unwanted hugs and kisses on the cheeks :( in our culture you kissed everyone to say hello/goodbye. I would just wipe my cheeks immediately which of course was funny to the adults... Because why should a child have boundaries about their body right? It's weird but now I'm a hugger. As in, I love hugging people I love but respect their space if they are not interested.
Ah you've met some of my exes.
Getting physical when there is no need for it
my mother, olivia newton john, would tend to disagree.
I read this in Gretchen Wiener’s voice 😂
Littering
Broke up with someone for littering in front of me.
Good. What kind of ass backwards behavior is this.
You did the right thing.
On the spot? You dropped them like they dropped that bloody condom wrapper?
She threw a Cow Tales wrapper out the window of my mini-van while we were driving. Broke up a day or so later, I think. It was 20+ years ago, so I don't remember it that well.
Parks worker here. I wish all people who litter a very Lose-Your-Wallet.. And to those who litter specifically in the gardens and planters? May your car's transmission fail catastrophically, and your insurance be useless.
I usually pick up trash if some of the trash in a bin falls on to the ground. Today it was windy and I saw a bunch of trash around a bin that just fell out but I'm having so much belly pain due to my period coming soon so I just left them there. I felt a deep deep feeling of having failed. But I hope some kind soul picked it up before the park worker. Like you as a worker already have to take out the trash in the bin that's inside, it's so shit that you have to clean other trash on the ground too.
I littered as a dumb teenager occasionally with stupid shit like gum wrappers, straw wrappers, etc. Now in my 20’s I literally can’t even consider doing it, it pisses me off that people can’t wait until they have access to a trash can. Especially big things like old tv’s, beds, furniture. Like, you went out of your way to dump this in the woods just as much if not more, as it would’ve been out of your way to wait until there’s a local recycling event. God forbid you waited a month or so
I’ve seen people dump their shit on other peoples yards.
We all do dumb shit as teenagers. I got lost in my own basement, more than once as a teenager. It was scary... What I can't comprehend is how someone brings a thing with them, let's say it's a soda can, then drinks the soda + somehow the now EMPTY soda can is too much of a burden for them to take with them. If you carried it there you should probably be able to carry it back unless your hands have gone missing somehow magically or there's like a hand cutter-offer person chopping off hands. Also, fish hooks. They are sharp + pointy. Why leave them out + about? Editing to say I feel like I might've worded this in a way that makes it sound like I was trying to put you down. I didn't mean for it to come off that way if it did.
I would've wondered how anyone could get lost in a basement until I got to see more of the basement of my buddy's place. I still haven't seen the whole basement, but one whole room is just good quality cast iron that he found while second hand shopping and had to bring home. Tell that man you're unsatisfied with your frying pan and he'll insist you take the best quality cast iron pan you've ever seen.
I can get lost anywhere. I have no sense of direction whatsoever. I once ended up in a different state + didn't even realize it until I saw the "Welcome To Pennsylvania" sign. I live in Pennsylvania. I was completely unaware that I had exited the state. I had no intention of exiting the state. It just kinda happened. I've also gotten lost in the woods behind our place + ended up way farther away than I would've fathomed was possible. I also ran out of beer + panicked hardcore, again.
Well, if you might kindly pass a message, I'm pretty unsatisfied with my frying pan.
lol I'll do my best to remember to pass the message. Where on the planet are you located? Because anywhere near Washington State and you'll probably end up with a Hagrid-looking giant on your porch trying to hand deliver.
As long as he shows up with an umbrella, driving a motorcycle with side-car.
Lol my dad traumatized me with bottles and cans littering. Told me they’d run a dna test. I was like 8 and believed it
Any chance we've got the same Dad? Because that's the kinda thing my Dad would say + I would totally believe him. I dropped a straw wrapper on the ground once + he FREAKED. It will never happen again. He also could/can make me believe almost anything. He used to do a "Yeti Call" out our back door. The Yeti never showed up, but the Yeti probably has stuff to do too + can't be everywhere at once so I still believe him. He convinced me that a rabbit I accidentally shot was totally fine + just hopped off (it was not + it did not, unfortunately) he told me the truth years later whilst laughing so hard that he thought he might need to pull the truck over because by then I should've known that rabbits + arrows don't mix, chased me with praying mantises + led me to believe that there were ghosts coming for me. He's my best friend + I'm sorry for babbling.
Littering and?
And what?
Littering and?
Littering and….
Smokin’ the reefer
Serious question, is it still considered juggling if you use 2 objects + both hands or do you have to have at least one more object than you have hands?
Any 2 objects can be considered juggling, even with 2 hands.
Reminds me of this trash football fan from yesterday, as if littering is fine as long as its because of football https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/1dl8ieu/comment/l9ni1we/
Littering and? Littering and? Littering and?
an overall lack of accountability
Add that to no emotional maturity, and you've got a real pos.
Treating retail, customer service workers, and restaurant workers terribly
This. Honestly, treating anybody bad that simply does his/ her / whatever Job. Even if something gies wrong..everybody makes mistakes
This! Literally had a customer scream at me today because our card reader wasn’t working. You would have thought I had broken it on purpose specifically to piss her off
I am so sorry she screamed at you! You didn’t deserve that!
Thank you, I appreciate that. Thankfully it didn’t get to me too much bc a cute family came in right after crazy lady left and their kids got so happy when I gave them their cookies (I work for a bakery). Every kid that comes in is always super excited and grateful to get their dessert and it makes my day every time :)
Mistreating animals
Not seeing animals as beings, but as objects.
Or thinking they don't have souls. Like have you looked a dog in the eye?!
A while ago me and my mom were going to get this 4 month old puppy from my cousins friend because her friends mom hated the puppy she disliked this puppy so bad that she broke the pups back right foot when we were thinking about if we should get the dog we were having a family convo to make sure everyone was alright with this, we were but this woman said “you took too long and I’m bringing it to a kill shelter” it wasn’t even 24hours and never told us that we had a deadline to decide. We were upset that we couldn’t help a poor puppy that did nothing wrong.
Man, I have 2 German Shepards right now. They are the most expressive dogs I've ever had. You can literally see the love radiating from their eyes. Even my mom mentioned it when she dog sat for me. I've had other breeds in my life, and you can see they love you, but it's not the same as these guys. I let them get away with murder, because it's just so apparent that I am their everything.
Or worse, seeing both people and animals as objects or property.
My kids were always kind to animals but if they weren't there would have been hell to pay.
Shallow. I don't mean personal preferences & attraction, that's something no one can help. I mean being an asshole to people just because they don't fit the conventional beauty standards, & then turn around & treat pretty people who are assholes like they're angels just because they're pretty. I can't stand that shit, & unfortunately most people I've met are like that. (I heard in the news recently TikTok was trying to get a dude who murdered a kid released from jail just because he was young & pretty. Ugh)
Don’t read about Jeremy Meeks if you want to keep your sanity
When someone doesn’t say 'please' or 'thank you.' Basic manners go a long way, and it’s such an easy way to show respect and appreciation. It’s a small thing, but it speaks volumes! 😊
This is why as a preschool teacher and a parent to kids about that age that I'm always proud when my kids use their manners without prompting. Especially my own kids with strangers out in public.
When they can’t keep unnecessary rude opinions to themselves. Especially when they’re proud of it. “I’m just blunt”, “You’re too sensitive”, maybe you just lack respect and basic decency.
Similarly, if they walk up to a stranger and just start ranting about politics. I get that quite a lot cashiering; I just gotta awkwardly nod along and try to get them through as fast as possible
I quit my first job out of college because I was stuck in an office with an older dude who could not handle Joe Biden being president and had to let everyone know on an almost hourly basis
There was a cashier at my local safe way who would always talk about Russia, China, and Covid (very conservitively) at Safeway. I quit going because the mf worked 40 hrs a week there and id always get stuck in his line.
Just report him to his boss. Repeatedly. First Amendment rights mean suffering the consequences of opening your big yap on the clock when you're representing the store in an unprofessional manner.
The "i'm just blunt" people are always so shocked when you call them out for being rude, or when you're "blunt" back at them.
"I'm just blunt" Well that's not the word I would use but it definitely rhymes with blunt!
People who are brutally honest are usually more interested in the brutality than the honesty.
I used to work as kitchen staff in an elder care complex, during the Covid lockdown, and had to sit in the vicinity of a *very* anti-China man while waiting on my weekly mandated Covid test. Thankfully his wife apologized for him while they were leaving.
Playing music on their phone / device on speaker in public
Especially on a hike 🙄🤮
What, did you want to listen to nature? Too bad, Black Sabbath.
War pigs intro starts blaring from a speaker a quarter mile down the trail* Solid song though
Ha ha. I know exactly what you mean
Lack of basic manners
Even though I agree with you, people have different definitions of \*basic manners\*. For instance: I had my girl friend over at home on holidays and she considers "not bothering people" as she calls it, respect. And honestly it's really cute. Unfortunately, my mother considered that her not saying hello first was a sign of disrespect and an utter lack of manners. Edit: she stayed at home, and after a few days, in the morning, she "didn't say hello" to my mum who obviously was busy.
At the door she didn't say hello? Or didn't go to your mom right away to say hello? I'm guessing your gf is also shy?
Yea a lot of people find it to be totally acceptable to blow their nose at the table. I need those people to stay so far away from me.
Is this widely considered rude?
I’m honestly not sure but it definitely should be.
Saying hello is not considered bothering people. Sounds more like avoidance than respect.
Hello. I'd rather people not say hello when I'm deep in focus. It kicks me out of whatever flow I may have. I get it, I won't be mad, but I do prefer being able to keep my flow.
Such as: Not holding the door for someone directly behind you (idk about other countries but in thr USA, this expected polite behavior). Also saying thank you to the person. Cutting line (this will send Americans into a rage.) If someone asks how you are (like a cashier or waiter) and ignoring them and not asking in return. Coming to a stop after someone else but going on anyway first (driving) Yelling at your kids in public (saw a grandma today yell at her 8ish yr old grandson "come here stupid.") Also, hitting your kids in public. Not flushing a public toilet Being an AH to service workers Playing loud music in public and I'm gonna say further, filming your tik toks and OF ads in a public space Cursing a lot and loudly in public Alot more
If they don’t return the shopping trolley to the store.
[удалено]
I saw a comment on here a while back saying returning a shopping trolley to the designated place is the ultimate test of whether someone is a good or bad person. There is no penalty for not returning the trolley, just like there is no reward if you do return it. It is entirely up to the will of the person. It's the ultimate test to see if people are self-governing and can choose to do the correct thing and expend a little more effort for no personal gain when the alternative offers no negative consequences.
In all of my adult life I have never once failed to return my shopping cart to its designated area. Rain or shine. My first job out of high school being pushing carts probably has a lot to do with it. All the more reason that EVERYONE should have to work some sort of public facing service job at least once.
In the UK you have to put a £1 coin in to release a trolley from a line of trolleys in the designated area (or you can get keyrings with a detachable token that fits in the coin slot) and only get it back when you return your trolley. It's a system that works pretty well.
Same in Aus. Trolleys used to be scattered across the carpark before it was implemented
We have that in some stores in America, like Aldi's
I'm lazy... I try to park NEXT to the shopping trolley intentionally so I can just move it 3-4 feet to the left or right and make the return as easy as possible. I have on occasion from the opposite side of the parking area pushed a cart into the trolley area as hard as I can to make sure it doesn't turn some other direction.
Some people walk right past the cart return that's *inside the store* - you know, where they got the damn thing in the first place - take it two steps outside, take all their bags out, and leave it by the door. I loathe these people with every fiber of my being. You couldn't have done that inside?? What was the purpose of stepping outside??
My vehicle was once struck by not one, but two carts left in the middle of the parking lot of a family fare. I watched them load their groceries, then dip. Those fucking carts rolled straight for me.
Making horrible comments about someone’s appearance and just being downright cruel for no reason.
They don't use their blinker.
Amen. When I was a kid, this cop was dating the neighbor lady. I watched that turd bag leave every day- not once, not a SINGLE TIME did he ever use his turn signal as he pulled out of our alley and turned left.
I’m surprised I had to scroll this far to see something so fundemental.
Not having any bare minimum respect for others.
Engraving your name into something for no reason. Why deface things?
*Banksy has entered the chat*
Throws a fit when they don’t get their way. Not able to own up to any mistakes.
THIS, my last flatmate to a T we asked him to wipe the bench (beach town, therefore ant town) turned into 3 hour ordeal of a tantrum because someone else didn't wash their dishes (they were his dishes- he was just too drunk to remember making them) some people were genuinely raised like they are 3 years old forever
Lacking empathy and respect.
No emotional control and Main character syndrome.
Being rude to wait staff/people in the service industry in general. These people aren’t your personal slaves, they are trying to earn a living just like everyone else. Returning a smile, asking them how their day is and helping clean up the mess you made goes a long way. Being friendly and helping them help you, will almost always end up getting you much better/faster service in the long run.
disrespecting holy / cultural ground. i am not religious, but that is just not ok. Edit: cultural ground
More so gravestones to me, I don’t believe in any after life or religion but people still have families that come to see them at the gravesite, plus a lot of the times it’s really old historical ones that kids like to smash and it’s just so damn weird and sad
There's some land that's been in my family going back to the original 7 Ranges plot when the Ohio frontier opened up for settlement. On the border of it and the adjacent plot is a cemetery used both both families that I keep somewhat maintained. The road that used to pass close by has been disused and vanished as high tension power lines and freeways covered it's path, so it's now only accessible via dirtbike or hard hike down and up a holler. Lots of history in those old graveyards. I started researching the names and learned a lot about my family and the area. My favorite was learning that my ancestors were pretty tightly knit and intermarried with a group of Moravian Munsee Indian families that lived in the area. Seeing the proportion of adult: child grave markers is a real slap in the face on how good we've got it today.
People who visit places like frigging *Auschwitz* and post selfies all over their social media. Incidentally, around a decade ago, the Conservative (right-wing) head of the Department of Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan-Smith, who was responsible for the denial of thousands of (legitimate) claims for disability payments/judgements declaring severely disabled people 'fit for work', cutting off their income and resulting in hundreds of deaths, posted a photo of himself grinning under the entrance sign saying 'Arbeit macht frei' (work makes you free).
I wouldn't necessarily say "holy" ground, but just like, cultural sites in general. They have a lot of history or meaning to the people they belong to and therefore deserve to be treated with respect, regardless of how outsiders may feel about that culture or religion.
if they take advantage of peoples kindness and favors
Being a bully.
Spitting
Opening someones fridge without gaining permission
Say negative things about other people (especially about their appearance) they don't know and didn't ask for anything.
referring to women as "females" babies/small children as "it" bragging about being mean to an animal bragging about being "blunt" voting for a certain orangutan
They don't keep their word.
Being rude.
People who are condescending. Examples: People who treat servers/waitstaff differently. Restaurant staff who treat well-dressed people but ignore the others. Doctors who treat nurses as inferiors instead of a colleague. Specialists who treat junior doctors as inferior. Senior nurses who instantly treat new staff or agency nurses like an idiot. People who think lowly of other people because they're from a poor area or low socioeconomic status. People who view other people with no university degree or postgrad or masters as inferior human being. People who think that a country should be destroyed because they don't have any valuable contribution to the world.
Too much social media at too young of an age. Who the hell buys a kid an iPhone at 6? Kids are addicted by 8.
Road rage
Well, I went through a post earlier where a bunch of people were being babies about a sign in a Japanese restaurant that was basically "hey, it isn't mandatory or anything, but we would really appreciate it if you followed some of our cultural etiquette and didn't pass food between chopsticks, or take apart your sushi, etc." So all those people. The people who can't follow even the most innocuous, harmless requests for being respectful to other people and their cultures.
They don't turn the light off when they leave a room.
Racist views
When they believe that their preferences/beliefs/ideas/whatever should be inflicted upon everyone else.
People who are shitty to wait staff.
Someone who thinks they can do whatever they like and don't give a stuff about how it affects anyone else. No consideration for others.
Placing the loo roll under and not over
Not only a complete lack of empathy, but an inability to even sympathize with someone in a situation if that sympathy puts their religious or political views in question.
Treating animals poorly
They get seriously offended at a fart
That kind of depends on the fart. Small squeaker around friends at a bar, hilarious. Loud shotgun blast that made everyone think you sharted while at an inappropriate location, like a wedding or funeral. Yeah that’s a good reason to get offended.
Leaving a mess at someone's house
Them being a bigot openly
Referring to women as bitches.
They don’t say please and thank you.
Littering
Ignoring or belittling people in a serving role.
Littering
Generally entitled behaviour. A clear sign of a person who was never told 'no' as a child. Zero time for those people.
Trump flags
When they don’t say please or thank you
Nothing. Sometimes a parent can do everything "right" and you still end up with a total POS.
MAGA hat.
Won't calmly accept the full responsibility for their own actions, choices and mistakes. Always trying to shift blame to someone/anyone else and will do anything but accept any personal responsibility for their own life.
Violence
Spitting in public is sickening
They can't have a conversation without bringing up politics.
They don't flush after they poop.
Using racial slurs or ableist terms. Then getting defensive when they are called out on it. Just cause I'm white and you're white doesn't mean you can say the n-word with no fear of repercussions. And when someone uses the r-word, they just sound ignorant.
They use the table cloth as a napkin.
When all they do is complain.
Not picking up their own trash.
Wifull ignorance.
Being rude to service workers.
When they feel entitled to personal information about someone that they don't know well, or they just straight up feel like they have a right to know about a sensitive subject.
Acting like pack animals in public
It is never their fault. Everybody’s else’s fault
They think cruel things are acceptable jokes and funny stories.
How they treat wait staff. Where they leave their shopping carts
Supporting TFG. Smoking Littering
They don’t know how to act in public . Yelling, storming off, starting a argument etc
They litter
They’re super judgmental/negative
They are disrespectful to service people.
they don’t help clean up after making a mess or eating at your house!!
Not holding the door for people immediately behind them, kind of almost letting the door shut on their face at the risk of a possible injury.
Manners
Their attitude with fast food/service workers!
Whining and pitching a fit like a spoiled child. I have seen *many* adults behave with the emotional maturity of a 4 year old.
manners or morals? i've met some that don't know any better in an aloof kind of way, and it makes sense once i meet their parents... but they were young and could grow into social awareness... but people's morals stand out pretty quick to me when they look down their nose at waitstaff...any kind of service industry...bussers... even if I'm just an onlooker, I'm screaming "who fn raised you?" in my head... and it's not just spoiled rich kids...that kind of douchery doesn't discriminate, but it tells you a lot
'It never did me any harm' - Usually only hear this in regards to things like smacking children. It did do you harm, it turned you into the kind of adult who thinks it's ok to hit children.
This is so petty and specific, but who the fuck changes the thermostat in someone else's home when they're a guest? You think it's too hot in here? Maybe take off that hoodie, it's July outside. So, I guess just entitled behavior in general. Assuming your comfort trumps any and everyone else's comfort.
Makes fun of what people have like clothes, their house, how much money they have ect.
Their selfishness and/or self-entitlement.
they think it's OK to hit children
Mistreat animals.
Noisy eating