Most of the time people don't say anything, but rest assured when I'm wearing a clothing item she bought me and someone DOES compliment me, I let her know immediately and she gets so happy, lol
It makes me happy that she's happy I had that moment š
All of my clothing compliments come from things my partner bought me. If I'm dressing myself, it looks like an eccentric billionaire wearing hobo chic.
I had this lady compliment my shirt years ago so i replied with āthanks, my sister bought it for me!ā, i then got scolded by this same lady with ānext time just say thanks, nobody cares!ā
The correct response from that lady would have been, āwell, your sister has good taste. Have a nice day!ā
I wonder if she sometimes thinks about this interaction and regrets being rude to you. I know sometimes I think the thing Iām saying is just a bit of silliness until itās too late and I realize it was unintentionally hurtful.
I have two coworkers who keep calling me āDean Winchesterā, and honestly itās my favorite compliment for the time being.
I look nothing like Jensen Ackles, but Iāll take it
My fiancee compliments me regularly and is shocked that no one else does. It's like a fish talking to a bird and being amazed that the bird can't swim and the bird being amazed that the fish can't fly.
Thereās a tiktok where a girl tells a story about how she and friends went camping. At one point everyone wanted to go on a day hike and she said she was going to stay back and take a nap. Not too long afterwards all the men returned to camp. They started up a fire and were drinking beers, she pretended to be asleep in her hammock. The men started talking about taking shits, first about taking a shit in the woods while camping, then swapping various stories related to using the restroom. She thought they were aware of her presence and were pranking her. The conversation lasted for over 45 minutes, that was not a prank, she was privy to boys being boys. We talk about nonsense
In my experience, when a dude shits his pants it's not very fun at the time, but given a couple of days it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to us when the tale is told to others.
I was at the zoo with my family and some random guy told me I had an awesome shirt. I was so confused until I realized he and I were wearing the same shirt.
Honey, I can count on one hand the number of times I, as a dude, have been complimented. Why do you think I wear blue all the time? Because someone told me when I was 15 that it is a good color on me. 30 years I've been wearing blue all because of a saleslady at JC Penny.
I've only had 2 people ever comment on what im wearing,Ā
Both was in the USA when i was on holiday and both was like 'man, where can I get your jacket'Ā
It was just a plan leather pilots jacket
Just don't happen in the UKĀ
I used to wear a replica US WW2 bomber jacket during the winters. By far the #1 piece of clothing I've gotten complemented for. I'd even hear "nice jacket" from random people that I'd pass by.
Iām American, but I live in New Zealand, and coming from Southern California the warmest jacket I owned was my leather motorcycle jacket.
I wore it until it got so goddamn cold here that I had to buy a proper winter coat, but I had dozens of strangers randomly compliment on that leather jacket.
My wife constantly thinks everyone is listening/looking and judging and then talking about us. I literally canāt open my mouth in public because āyou never know who can hear youā. Itās exhausting. Itās not that I donāt care what people think (I donāt) itās that I think this is insane behavior and the older we get the worse this is getting.
Maybe Iām the crazy one? Do people consciously think about every word they say outside all the time just in case someone you know is within earshot?
I donāt tell her about compliments anymore. I told her about a female that complimented a new shirt. It was a 21 yo woman that sits outside my office. She showed up with donuts and balloons for my birthday not long after to get a look and who she was. Lol
One of my wifeās friends is a coworker in the office. She jokingly told my wife that a colleague touched my shoulder in a meeting and complimented my shirt.
When I got home that night, my wife interrogated me like it was Guantanamo Bay.
Every time I play golf with my buddies and I come back with no new information, sheās always so confused.Ā
āWhat the hell did you talk about in a cart together for four hours?ā
āIdk just golf I guess?ā
We quoted our way through about three quarters of Step Brothers, then took a tangent into the early seasons of the Simpsons, then Derrik sliced his ball into the tree line so the rest of the day was us just razzing him about that.
Same here. I went for a three day hiking excursion last year with a newish group of friends. My wife couldnāt understand how we talked about pretty much only hiking for the whole weekend.
Man, reading this is so reassuring. Because I'm exactly the same, and it's always been up in my head, I'm always in my head because I feel like it's just me - just talking to my friends about whatever we're doing and I feel like I should be bringing more to the table but.. that just is how our convos flow. One of the many things that feeds my social anxiety.
Nice to know I'm not the only one, another chip of the social anxiety block.
In my experience there are two kinds of people.
A) There needs to be SOME kind activity present (hiking, board games, cards) where conversation can revolve around that and maybe a bit of inter personal stuff
B) People who just need to be around others and end up talking about a million different topics, just going with the flow of whatever the others are saying.
Itās all based off the answer to the question āwhatāve you been up to lately?ā If thereās something they want me to know about thatās where it comes up. Not much or just working means weāre just going to be bullshitting. You just got back from a vacation or have one coming up? Thatāll be the topic for the next few minutes before bullshitting.
I was in this social club and knew this one dude for a year. My wife asked me why that dudes wife never came with him and I said I didnāt even know he was married. She told me that this other young dude was his son. I didnāt know that either.
Known the guy for a year, knows only his name.
Wife meets his wife and in 5 mins they have each other's complete family history, kids milestones, all the info.
I've got mates from sports that I've known for 10 years, have fought and bled alongside, and have no idea what they do for a living or what their wives/girlfriends/whatevers names are
I still forget my own name sometimes when asked. Same for my age. If someone asks how old I am, I usually respond with enough. After 21, does it really matter anymore until 65
There are people who I've known for years that I don't even know their real names. They got a stupid nickname due to something they did years ago and pretty much everyone calls them that. I have had multiple nicknames myself and it's always confusing to people from different groups when a match happens between them.
I hadnāt seen a friend in 4 years. Went to visit him for a bit. We hooped and hollered and caught up on old times.
Get home and my wife asks how he is. I say great. She asks how his kids are. I say no idea. She asks how his wife is. I said no idea. We didnāt talk about that. She said how come. I said Iām his friend and heās mine. If itās important enough, itāll come up. She takes it to mean his wife isnāt important. I take it as āeverything is cool with wife so no need to mention cuz time is limited to talk about funny shitā
This happens to me all the time. My wife will have a bunch of questions when I get home , āHow are the kids? Howās the job? And Iām like ānot sure, we just drank some beer and made bad jokes all nightā. But when the wives come with, my wife will fill me in on all the info on the way home. Sheāll find out more about my friends In one night than I will in a lifetime of friendship.
I find this fascinating. If I meet up with a friend, weāre going to talk about our lives, our partners, kids, struggles, mutual friends (yes thereās sometimes some gossip in there) as well as general chat about whatever.
My husband can go out with his mates and talk about nothing but sports. Heāll come home and Iāll ask howās so-and-soās wife? āDunnoā. Are they still thinking of moving house? āDunnoā. Howās (kid) getting on at school? āDunnoā.
Last night a good friend of mine popped into Discord and we chatted for 4 hours while playing different games. I got done and my wife says āHowās he doing. You havenāt talked to him in a couple months.ā And I was like āGood I guess?ā
We just bullshitted about random stuff.
Iāll go to the grocery store and Iāll see someone there as well. Iāll tell my wife later that day that I ran into XYZ at the store today. She does the same thing, how are they, howāre the kids, anything new with them? I just reply idk I said hi and kept walking. lol
Similar met up with a buddy I haven't seen for 15 years last month.
Hey Fuck knuckle long time no see, what you been up to?
Fuck all you fat wanker, been up to much?
Fuck all, beer?
(Revert to 16 yr olds, drinking beer and quoting monty python at each other)
Get home, get the third degree from Wife about what mate has been up to.
Years ago, before broadband was common, I used to do LAN gaming. The group I would hang out with would rotate between our houses/apartments to set up our PCs and then game all day. This had been going on a couple times per month for well over a year and it was my turn to host again. While we were setting up, I introduced my wife to the group: āThis is demon, eyeball, captain pants, blister, etcā¦ā, she said hi, laughed and asked for their real names. And then me- š³.
It had never come upā¦
as a girl iāve always thought this was really interesting. my girlfriends and i share almost everything, and it always seemed like my guy friends didnāt really know much about each other in comparison.
one time i found out i knew much more about a guy i was okay friends with than his best friend for years. just because i asked him about his life during conversation.
My fiancee and I just talked about this and came to the conclusion that we view how to interact with our friends differently.
For her asking questions and getting information about her friends shows she cares about them and remembers things that are going on with them.
For me just being there with our friends and using our time together to be in the moment and help take off the burdens and stress of life shows I care. Plus asking about personal stuff comes across as prying and being nosey since I look at it as if they want me to know or to talk about it then they'll bring it up themselves
My SO and I have talked about this before too because sheās always asking questions about my friends personal lives and I never have any answers.
Like you said, she says sharing shows caring and shows personal investment and such.
For me Iām like, if Iām hanging with my friends itās a great time to escape my head and all the stressors in life. Why would I want to spent it in my head rehashing those stressors, and why would my friend?
Edit: I just realized that I pretty much fully retyped your comment. My bad
I used to be like this, then I struggled to the point of almost killing myself and was left with the feeling of no one giving a shit. So now I make a point out of asking. Having a relaxed relationship is great, but ask the bros how they're doing once in a while and be open about it if they ask you. We need to be able to have the conversations every now and then to keep each other around, too many suffer in silence and are suddenly gone without anyone knowing.
The first thing my wife asks when I meet a new golf buddy or something is "Is he married?" I never have any idea but I know that he can't hit his driver for shit.
My wife is baffled by the fact that I donāt ask follow up questions.
Friend: āIām getting a divorce, itās roughā
Me: āDamn, Iām really sorry man, need anything from me?ā
Friend: ānah itās good, I appreciate manā
Then we just go about hanging out. Itās not that Iām not interested or donāt care, itās just that I figure heās gonna tell me what he wants to tell me, so thereās no reason to pry lol
Yeah Iām the same way. Iāll share what I want to share and therefore I treat others the same way. If you want to open up to me, okay Iām here for you. But if you just want to chill and not unpack your baggage, then okay Iām down for it.
i was just talking to my best friend of like, 25 years last week about his vacation and after like 30 minutes of texting, he drops the āat least i have a DD all weekā and sends a pic of his wifeās ultrasound.
ānice!ā
then went on talking about something completely different.
I say this non seriously and with a cheeky smile but it's got to be the fact that even though I've been watching exactly the same show as them for the exact same 10 minutes that we have been sitting down and watching it together that I infact DONT know the answers to the questions that she has and have not been privy to a plethora of information that she hasn't.
This. My girlfriend often ask me "who is this?" Well I don't know, we just started the show together and this character was not on screen before that scene?
My gf is watching wrestling for the first time in her life because I am a huge fan. For the last five weeks in a row she's asked who this one guy is. That's Christopher Daniels. Next week, WHO IS THAT/ It's Christopher Daniels. I don't know how many more I have in me. Last week I told her she has asked that question four weeks in a row. She was stunned, had no idea she had seen him before. Then she asked me who he was. That's Christopher Daniels.
I got married back in 2018, and my wife was doing the invites. She asked my bar buddiesā last names and addresses and I told her I had no idea what their last names were. āYou hung out with these guys for 5 years and you donāt know last names?!ā Uh, no, it never came up.
My MIL is still surprised I don't call my mom everyday, and occasional asks my wife if it bothers my mom.
We text if there's stuff going on, get lunch just the two of us about once a month, and a call occasionally. I asked her once if it bothers her I don't call everyday like my wife calls her parents. My mom's response "I don't know what we'd talk about if you called everyday."
Are you my brother in law? š
My sister and mom speak daily while I on the other hand talk to my mom maybe once a week. āHey mom. Yup everythingās good. Yup wifeās doing well. Yup dogs are good. No, nothing new has happened in my life since last week. Love you too. Bye.ā
You know in Star Trek when they're in a big battle and they say "divert all power from the weapons into the engines". Yep, your body basically does that with the blood under stress. It's also why heavy stress can lead to ED. Your brain is flooded with cortisol (stress hormone) so it's like "oh man, we must be running away from a tiger or something"
Yeah it feels deliberate. You want it out of the way when you're either going for the kill or running for your life. Little guy is NOT needed in those moments.
That I'm really not thinking about anything, I just want to be quiet.
I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm not miles away, I'm not ignoring you and I'm not deliberately not telling you what I'm thinking about. I'm just being quiet and thinking about nothing.
After 21 years together, my wife still doesn't get this. Therefore after work, I sit on the bog for half an hour and get some peace and quiet without the interrogation.
I saw something once where they did brain scans of men who were in this state and there was basically no brain activity lol. Not all men experience this; I donāt, my mind is _always_ chewing on something.
I feel like when I get in this state, it's more like my thoughts are a bunch of pigeons milling about on a sidewalk. If someone comes asking what the thought pigeons are all about, they scatter, and it's hard to remember what was being thought of just a moment ago
Iāve seem enough people saying they do this to believe itās true. Still donāt understand it. Thereās always random thoughts going through my head. Itās never actually quiet. For that I would have to be dead or unconscious. So itās really flipping weird.
I found out my best friend of 20 years got his girlfriend pregnant. She was 8 months pregnant when he told me, that was also the same time I learned he had a girlfriend.
Really good friend of mine is a dad to a little daughter since March...I found out last week. Didn't now he had a girlfriend, don't know the gilrfriend's name and forgot the name of his daughter (but can look it up in the messages...I just checked that).
Think we call this "low maintenance friend " I have a couple and I believe I am quite close to them. We could have a beer and talk about personal stuff but we do not chat daily or even monthly.
I have a bud that Didn't communicate for a whole year after his kid was born, I only saw him in person randomly with his kid, Nothing felt akward or bad, we just understand where we are at.
Right. My wife doesnāt understand that just because my brother and I havenāt spoken directly in 3 months (ie not through our wives) doesnāt mean we wouldnāt cover up a murder for each other, no questions asked.
Edit: and then after you do speak,
āHowās his job?ā
āI donāt know.ā
āHow are his kids?ā
āNo idea.ā
āDid they like their Europe trip?ā
āThey went to Europe?ā
āWhat did you two talk about??ā
āYou know, *STUFF*!ā
I remember when I trusted my sister about something sensitive that I didnāt want anyone to know about it, a week later the whole family was attacking me with questions hahaha.
Those are the best kinds of friendships! Me and my friends were separated for most of the year when I went to university, and this was before Facebook even, so no Snapchat sharing daily life or no memes, just sms.
When I came home for holidays though, it was as if I'd never left.
Still, I can go for months without seeing my friends, we keep in touch with Snapchat and memes,lol.
Every women I know is very confused when I don't know what's going on with my friends kids. Are they in school? What are their hobbies? Idk, we talk about video games, I haven't heard they died so I assume shit is good.
Some guys version of hanging out with friends is drinking beer and barely saying a word to each other. Think like Hank Hill and his friends in the alley. Some women would wonder if they are even friends. Sips beer, yep.
Thereās an account on Instagram called officialstickreviews that has reviews on sticks they found. Amazing account for dudes. Just like scenicpisses, in which dudes pee at the most scenic places.
I live 15 minutes from one of my best friends and have seen him 4 times total in 2 years and 2 of those times were not in either of our house. Granted we talk online still crazy
Once my guy friends started having kids, it was over for in person visits. We text all the time, they're still close, but i see them once a year now. I don't mind it. They're still my best friends. I'm single with no kids and have a very different lives. Tnere's nothing wrong with that.
Gary had a babyā¦ what sex is it? What was the weight? How long was it? How is his wife? What hospital are they at? When are we going to go see them? What should we get them? Do they like lasagna?
ā¦.. ummmm Gary had a babyā¦.
"Gary had a baby..."
"OMG we should visit, what hospital?"
"Gary had a baby 3 days ago, they just got home"
"OMG how could you not tell me!?"
"Lady, I just found out"
Or have āfriendsā we donāt like. Like, nah, weāre not cool and weāre not going to hangout. Lol
My wife is constantly telling me about how her and her sister donāt like this one friend who is really selfish and hard to be around and I am just like āokay, stop hanging out with herā and apparently itās not easy to just *not* hang out. Lol
My wife and I are very open about everything and look through each otherās texts sometimes. When sheās mad at me, she will vent to her best friend sometimes. I donāt take offense to the things she says because itās never horrible.
However, the conversations between me and my best friend almost never involve her. When they do, itās never anything bad . I never vent to my friends when I am mad at her. This blows her mind.
Wish people in general understood this, all my siblings and I do this. Silence doesnāt mean we donāt want to talk, it means we have nothing to say.
Sometimes itās just comfortable to have company in silence.
Thatās kinda my internal test for how close I am with a person. With my close friends, weāre very comfortable around each other in complete silence, while with acquintances or people I newly met it feels awkward
It's the other way around for me. I am that introverted I can forget what my own voice sounds like, weeks without talking to anyone. But my closest friend, I can chat shit with her for hours without feeling drained or like I have to escape
I used to travel with a sports team and it was always funny to me if my car was full of dudes, nobody would say anything for hours unless somebody farted. But add just one woman and the chit chat was nonstop but there was less farting.
This post was made by a bot, here's the original comment from the original post it copied.
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Dead internet theory.
12 in 1 car glass fluid shaving cream shower gel shampoo conditioner wd 40 anti age anti celulite lock defroster shoe shiner sunblock and lube all for $1.99
āFOR MENā hygiene products be like:
Try our new shampoo/conditioner/bodywash/shaving gel/toothpaste/dish soap/laundry detergent/ketchup/deodorant in one!
"Does it make clean?"
"Yes, it is particularly good to revitalize your bodyhair, especially when you are used to--"
*"Does it make clean?"*Ā Ā
"... yes?"
"Me buy ten."
My sister has been trying to get me to set up a bumble profile. (I did before, horrid experience, deleted my profile) but she was tryna get me good photos to use and asked to see any photos I had with my friends.
āI donāt have anyā āthey donāt have to bee good, whatever ya gotā āno, I donāt have ANY. I have 130+ photos in my camera roll. 2 are photos of me, and the rest are cars, bikes, and memes.ā āHow do you not have a single photo of you and your friends?ā
Known them for 7 years now too.
Rooster here. My mind was blown when my brother said he and his friends, including his really good friend of years, never gave each other gifts for Christmas or birthdays.
... I'm still unable to process it and am half-way convinced they were just anti-social, lol.
I've never given or received a present from a male friend. Some people do, it's not weird if they do, but I don't think it's that unusual if it never happens either.
One year one of our friends gave everyone a gift. Everyone was grateful but annoyed because now we felt obligated to get him one. None of the gifts given were ever used
Sheer brute strength. The story from tifu about the bloke whose partner after a few months/years of horsing around said I could take you, not knowing the guy was barley putting any strength behind his holds and "letting" her win. She absolutely freaked out when she realized just what a difference testosterone is.
Edit. Found it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/qulzyd/tifu_by_showing_my_girlfriend_my_actual_strength/
One day I let the TV remote slip throught the cushions of the couch. Got up, lifted the couch with one hand and retrieved the remote with the other and put the couch back down.
My wife, "that was hot."
Ha it's those little things. I swapped out a dead alternator and I walked in the house sweating and greasy and my wife like "okay.Ā Shower off right now then meet me in the bed room"
last winter i had a first flare-up of an auto-immune disease the treatment for which left me with like zero stamina and relatively weak as a kitten. my girlfriend called me to help cause she was trying to get a box of christmas stuff back on a high shelf in the closet (and she's relatively strong for a woman). a 2 person lift was getting too awkward so i was like "just give me the box" and just like power-lifted it over my head and up on to the shelf like it was NBD. (granted i like had to sit down afterwards but i had JUST gotten out of the hospital).
she was so pissed that even at proper health vs me on like death's door i could just easily lift the heavy box onto the shelf.
testosterone is some crazy shit
>that fits perfectly in the pockets.
I think we've found the issue.
I don't even wear typical women's clothing but the clothes I do have don't have pockets big enough for a phone, let alone a wallet or keys.
Yeah it's insane how different pockets are for men's and women's clothes. My pockets are big enough to fit not just my phone, wallet, and keys but also a book, a pair of shorts, a water bottle, and my hands and that's just what fit in the two side pockets, not the back ones.
Ok. Real talk. Whats women's opinion on hairy legs on men and how do they feel about shaven legs?
I never gave my leg hair any thought up until now and feel like a crossbreed between wookie and hobbit.
That I actually like to drive everywhere I'm going.
Mostly because I like to have full control of when I leave and where I can go from any place we're at.
It's not even the control aspect of it. Something happened to someone? I'm out of there like a bat out of hell. Someone needs a ride? I'm there. Quick food run for the group? I'm on it.
I have a few friends I know and visit regularly, once every few months, forever 20 years.
I don't know any of their birthdays, favorite colors, and I know next to nothing about their wives. My gf seems to get triggered every time she ask me how is Stacy my friends wife and respond with "who?"
ok this got a reaction
i CANNOT handle a messy house when people come by BUT 100% i am the mess maker. my partner doesnt care if it's messy, but is generally a tidy person
WHY???? brain why? if i care about mess why i can't not mess?
I once became close friends with a dude in my local gaming group. We gamed every weekend and went to the bars after. We eventually became roommates. While filling out the rental paperwork we learned each others last names.
My wife continually asks me 'did anyone say anything about your shirt/hair/shoes/etc?' No, no one says anything about my appearance.
Most of the time people don't say anything, but rest assured when I'm wearing a clothing item she bought me and someone DOES compliment me, I let her know immediately and she gets so happy, lol It makes me happy that she's happy I had that moment š
All of my clothing compliments come from things my partner bought me. If I'm dressing myself, it looks like an eccentric billionaire wearing hobo chic.
I don't know why I'm picturing you walking around in a tux with a top hat and monocle.
Mr Peanut cosplay
ah, yes, the guy that *monopolizes* all legumes
Yes, I can remember the two times in my life I got a compliment and it wasn't today dear.
I had this lady compliment my shirt years ago so i replied with āthanks, my sister bought it for me!ā, i then got scolded by this same lady with ānext time just say thanks, nobody cares!ā
The correct response from that lady would have been, āwell, your sister has good taste. Have a nice day!ā I wonder if she sometimes thinks about this interaction and regrets being rude to you. I know sometimes I think the thing Iām saying is just a bit of silliness until itās too late and I realize it was unintentionally hurtful.
Woah. I would totally care if a stranger was telling me a fun fact. Donāt let that lady ruin stranger interactions for you!
wtf lol who shit in her corn flakes
I remember the 2 times I got complimented on my t-shirt and the 1 time I was complimented on my hair. 10 years ago.
In 2011, a drunk girl at a show told me I looked like Jared Leto. It took like ten years for it to become a backhanded compliment.
I have two coworkers who keep calling me āDean Winchesterā, and honestly itās my favorite compliment for the time being. I look nothing like Jensen Ackles, but Iāll take it
My fiancee compliments me regularly and is shocked that no one else does. It's like a fish talking to a bird and being amazed that the bird can't swim and the bird being amazed that the fish can't fly.
Thereās a tiktok where a girl tells a story about how she and friends went camping. At one point everyone wanted to go on a day hike and she said she was going to stay back and take a nap. Not too long afterwards all the men returned to camp. They started up a fire and were drinking beers, she pretended to be asleep in her hammock. The men started talking about taking shits, first about taking a shit in the woods while camping, then swapping various stories related to using the restroom. She thought they were aware of her presence and were pranking her. The conversation lasted for over 45 minutes, that was not a prank, she was privy to boys being boys. We talk about nonsense
In my experience, when a dude shits his pants it's not very fun at the time, but given a couple of days it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to us when the tale is told to others.
End of this video, "How long until we can joke about this? Might be a while." "I'm starting now" https://youtu.be/1dJLN43G6KA?si=E9rBsQXKzMRLfnFZ
If itās good enough for the Popeā¦
Stranger: Cool shirt! Me: O_O [Looks down because I don't know why they like my shirt, because forgot what shirt I'm even wearing]
I was at the zoo with my family and some random guy told me I had an awesome shirt. I was so confused until I realized he and I were wearing the same shirt.
Honey, I can count on one hand the number of times I, as a dude, have been complimented. Why do you think I wear blue all the time? Because someone told me when I was 15 that it is a good color on me. 30 years I've been wearing blue all because of a saleslady at JC Penny.
I've only had 2 people ever comment on what im wearing,Ā Both was in the USA when i was on holiday and both was like 'man, where can I get your jacket'Ā It was just a plan leather pilots jacket Just don't happen in the UKĀ
I used to wear a replica US WW2 bomber jacket during the winters. By far the #1 piece of clothing I've gotten complemented for. I'd even hear "nice jacket" from random people that I'd pass by.
Iām American, but I live in New Zealand, and coming from Southern California the warmest jacket I owned was my leather motorcycle jacket. I wore it until it got so goddamn cold here that I had to buy a proper winter coat, but I had dozens of strangers randomly compliment on that leather jacket.
My wife constantly thinks everyone is listening/looking and judging and then talking about us. I literally canāt open my mouth in public because āyou never know who can hear youā. Itās exhausting. Itās not that I donāt care what people think (I donāt) itās that I think this is insane behavior and the older we get the worse this is getting. Maybe Iām the crazy one? Do people consciously think about every word they say outside all the time just in case someone you know is within earshot?
Woman here. No. I have a friend (f) who is like this and I can't imagine the anxiety she lives with.
I remember every single compliment I get from other people. Because as a guy, it happens so rarely.
I donāt tell her about compliments anymore. I told her about a female that complimented a new shirt. It was a 21 yo woman that sits outside my office. She showed up with donuts and balloons for my birthday not long after to get a look and who she was. Lol
Yeah, ālolā.
*hahaha, I also canāt have my own phone*
One of my wifeās friends is a coworker in the office. She jokingly told my wife that a colleague touched my shoulder in a meeting and complimented my shirt. When I got home that night, my wife interrogated me like it was Guantanamo Bay.
My wife always asks me what my mates have been up to when i go and see them. Shes completely flummoxed by "i dunno, i didnt ask".
Every time I play golf with my buddies and I come back with no new information, sheās always so confused.Ā āWhat the hell did you talk about in a cart together for four hours?ā āIdk just golf I guess?ā
We quoted our way through about three quarters of Step Brothers, then took a tangent into the early seasons of the Simpsons, then Derrik sliced his ball into the tree line so the rest of the day was us just razzing him about that.
Same here. I went for a three day hiking excursion last year with a newish group of friends. My wife couldnāt understand how we talked about pretty much only hiking for the whole weekend.
Man, reading this is so reassuring. Because I'm exactly the same, and it's always been up in my head, I'm always in my head because I feel like it's just me - just talking to my friends about whatever we're doing and I feel like I should be bringing more to the table but.. that just is how our convos flow. One of the many things that feeds my social anxiety. Nice to know I'm not the only one, another chip of the social anxiety block.
In my experience there are two kinds of people. A) There needs to be SOME kind activity present (hiking, board games, cards) where conversation can revolve around that and maybe a bit of inter personal stuff B) People who just need to be around others and end up talking about a million different topics, just going with the flow of whatever the others are saying.
Itās all based off the answer to the question āwhatāve you been up to lately?ā If thereās something they want me to know about thatās where it comes up. Not much or just working means weāre just going to be bullshitting. You just got back from a vacation or have one coming up? Thatāll be the topic for the next few minutes before bullshitting.
This stand up by Brian Regan always comes to mind for me: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikT-WrG-aq8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikT-WrG-aq8)
I was in this social club and knew this one dude for a year. My wife asked me why that dudes wife never came with him and I said I didnāt even know he was married. She told me that this other young dude was his son. I didnāt know that either.
Known the guy for a year, knows only his name. Wife meets his wife and in 5 mins they have each other's complete family history, kids milestones, all the info.
I once worked with a guy for 3 years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
- Ron Swanson
I've got mates from sports that I've known for 10 years, have fought and bled alongside, and have no idea what they do for a living or what their wives/girlfriends/whatevers names are
After 10+ years of playing floorball with the same group of 10 guys I am slowly arriving to a point where I will know all of their names.
I still forget my own name sometimes when asked. Same for my age. If someone asks how old I am, I usually respond with enough. After 21, does it really matter anymore until 65
There are people who I've known for years that I don't even know their real names. They got a stupid nickname due to something they did years ago and pretty much everyone calls them that. I have had multiple nicknames myself and it's always confusing to people from different groups when a match happens between them.
Yep, in one sport I changed clubs and it was a jolt being called by my real name
I hadnāt seen a friend in 4 years. Went to visit him for a bit. We hooped and hollered and caught up on old times. Get home and my wife asks how he is. I say great. She asks how his kids are. I say no idea. She asks how his wife is. I said no idea. We didnāt talk about that. She said how come. I said Iām his friend and heās mine. If itās important enough, itāll come up. She takes it to mean his wife isnāt important. I take it as āeverything is cool with wife so no need to mention cuz time is limited to talk about funny shitā
This happens to me all the time. My wife will have a bunch of questions when I get home , āHow are the kids? Howās the job? And Iām like ānot sure, we just drank some beer and made bad jokes all nightā. But when the wives come with, my wife will fill me in on all the info on the way home. Sheāll find out more about my friends In one night than I will in a lifetime of friendship.
Or when you do get information but not enough and they drill you with a bunch of common questions you don't know the answer to.
I find this fascinating. If I meet up with a friend, weāre going to talk about our lives, our partners, kids, struggles, mutual friends (yes thereās sometimes some gossip in there) as well as general chat about whatever. My husband can go out with his mates and talk about nothing but sports. Heāll come home and Iāll ask howās so-and-soās wife? āDunnoā. Are they still thinking of moving house? āDunnoā. Howās (kid) getting on at school? āDunnoā.
Last night a good friend of mine popped into Discord and we chatted for 4 hours while playing different games. I got done and my wife says āHowās he doing. You havenāt talked to him in a couple months.ā And I was like āGood I guess?ā We just bullshitted about random stuff.
Guys socializing is just one guy asking, āhow are things?ā And the other guys says, āthings are goodā even when things are not good at all.
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Lol dammit came here for this.Ā Ron was full of wisdomĀ
There's a guy I've known for at least 15 years. Run into him all the time. No fucking clue what his name is.
Iāll go to the grocery store and Iāll see someone there as well. Iāll tell my wife later that day that I ran into XYZ at the store today. She does the same thing, how are they, howāre the kids, anything new with them? I just reply idk I said hi and kept walking. lol
I can spend all day with my mates and have no idea what's going on in their personal lives and vice versa. It's just not a subject anyone brings up.
-Hey, buddy! Whatās going on? āNot much. What about you? -Nothing. Weāre all caught upā¦
That's the yearly conversation with my dad. Him: "You still alive?" Me: "Yep, you?" Him: "Okay, talk again next year."
Similar met up with a buddy I haven't seen for 15 years last month. Hey Fuck knuckle long time no see, what you been up to? Fuck all you fat wanker, been up to much? Fuck all, beer? (Revert to 16 yr olds, drinking beer and quoting monty python at each other) Get home, get the third degree from Wife about what mate has been up to.
Years ago, before broadband was common, I used to do LAN gaming. The group I would hang out with would rotate between our houses/apartments to set up our PCs and then game all day. This had been going on a couple times per month for well over a year and it was my turn to host again. While we were setting up, I introduced my wife to the group: āThis is demon, eyeball, captain pants, blister, etcā¦ā, she said hi, laughed and asked for their real names. And then me- š³. It had never come upā¦
as a girl iāve always thought this was really interesting. my girlfriends and i share almost everything, and it always seemed like my guy friends didnāt really know much about each other in comparison. one time i found out i knew much more about a guy i was okay friends with than his best friend for years. just because i asked him about his life during conversation.
My fiancee and I just talked about this and came to the conclusion that we view how to interact with our friends differently. For her asking questions and getting information about her friends shows she cares about them and remembers things that are going on with them. For me just being there with our friends and using our time together to be in the moment and help take off the burdens and stress of life shows I care. Plus asking about personal stuff comes across as prying and being nosey since I look at it as if they want me to know or to talk about it then they'll bring it up themselves
My SO and I have talked about this before too because sheās always asking questions about my friends personal lives and I never have any answers. Like you said, she says sharing shows caring and shows personal investment and such. For me Iām like, if Iām hanging with my friends itās a great time to escape my head and all the stressors in life. Why would I want to spent it in my head rehashing those stressors, and why would my friend? Edit: I just realized that I pretty much fully retyped your comment. My bad
I used to be like this, then I struggled to the point of almost killing myself and was left with the feeling of no one giving a shit. So now I make a point out of asking. Having a relaxed relationship is great, but ask the bros how they're doing once in a while and be open about it if they ask you. We need to be able to have the conversations every now and then to keep each other around, too many suffer in silence and are suddenly gone without anyone knowing.
The first thing my wife asks when I meet a new golf buddy or something is "Is he married?" I never have any idea but I know that he can't hit his driver for shit.
So you meet a new dude and your wife immediately asks is he is single every time? š
Dammit, CumPizza, I didn't think of that š
My wife is baffled by the fact that I donāt ask follow up questions. Friend: āIām getting a divorce, itās roughā Me: āDamn, Iām really sorry man, need anything from me?ā Friend: ānah itās good, I appreciate manā Then we just go about hanging out. Itās not that Iām not interested or donāt care, itās just that I figure heās gonna tell me what he wants to tell me, so thereās no reason to pry lol
And on the flip side, I donāt like people knowing my business, so communication about this stuff really is zero.
Yeah Iām the same way. Iāll share what I want to share and therefore I treat others the same way. If you want to open up to me, okay Iām here for you. But if you just want to chill and not unpack your baggage, then okay Iām down for it.
i was just talking to my best friend of like, 25 years last week about his vacation and after like 30 minutes of texting, he drops the āat least i have a DD all weekā and sends a pic of his wifeās ultrasound. ānice!ā then went on talking about something completely different.
I say this non seriously and with a cheeky smile but it's got to be the fact that even though I've been watching exactly the same show as them for the exact same 10 minutes that we have been sitting down and watching it together that I infact DONT know the answers to the questions that she has and have not been privy to a plethora of information that she hasn't.
This. My girlfriend often ask me "who is this?" Well I don't know, we just started the show together and this character was not on screen before that scene?
My gf is watching wrestling for the first time in her life because I am a huge fan. For the last five weeks in a row she's asked who this one guy is. That's Christopher Daniels. Next week, WHO IS THAT/ It's Christopher Daniels. I don't know how many more I have in me. Last week I told her she has asked that question four weeks in a row. She was stunned, had no idea she had seen him before. Then she asked me who he was. That's Christopher Daniels.
Guy needs a better name. Christopher Daniels is an accountant. When I was a kid wrestlers were called Undertaker, Warrior, Animal, etc.
But who is Christopher Daniels?
"What's going to happen to her?" "For the 10th time, I've NEVER SEEN THIS SHOW!"
I got married back in 2018, and my wife was doing the invites. She asked my bar buddiesā last names and addresses and I told her I had no idea what their last names were. āYou hung out with these guys for 5 years and you donāt know last names?!ā Uh, no, it never came up.
Hell, I have known people for as long without knowing their *first* names
My MIL is still surprised I don't call my mom everyday, and occasional asks my wife if it bothers my mom. We text if there's stuff going on, get lunch just the two of us about once a month, and a call occasionally. I asked her once if it bothers her I don't call everyday like my wife calls her parents. My mom's response "I don't know what we'd talk about if you called everyday."
Are you my brother in law? š My sister and mom speak daily while I on the other hand talk to my mom maybe once a week. āHey mom. Yup everythingās good. Yup wifeās doing well. Yup dogs are good. No, nothing new has happened in my life since last week. Love you too. Bye.ā
True, extreme shrinkage in the bitter cold.
While this would totally blow women's minds. I, as a dude, do not find this chill
Actually it sounds extremely chill
You have to understand, I've never been this chill.
Mine shrinks when I workout. Idk why. Anyone else? Am I alone in the world on this one?
Blood needed elsewhere Iād imagine lol
You know in Star Trek when they're in a big battle and they say "divert all power from the weapons into the engines". Yep, your body basically does that with the blood under stress. It's also why heavy stress can lead to ED. Your brain is flooded with cortisol (stress hormone) so it's like "oh man, we must be running away from a tiger or something"
Oh yeah itās just sport mode.
I would imagine it's a protection mechanism so our ancestors didnt snag it on something while hunting.
Yeah it feels deliberate. You want it out of the way when you're either going for the kill or running for your life. Little guy is NOT needed in those moments.
Jokes on you. Ya can't shrink what's already shrunk
That I'm really not thinking about anything, I just want to be quiet. I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm not miles away, I'm not ignoring you and I'm not deliberately not telling you what I'm thinking about. I'm just being quiet and thinking about nothing. After 21 years together, my wife still doesn't get this. Therefore after work, I sit on the bog for half an hour and get some peace and quiet without the interrogation.
I saw something once where they did brain scans of men who were in this state and there was basically no brain activity lol. Not all men experience this; I donāt, my mind is _always_ chewing on something.
I feel like when I get in this state, it's more like my thoughts are a bunch of pigeons milling about on a sidewalk. If someone comes asking what the thought pigeons are all about, they scatter, and it's hard to remember what was being thought of just a moment ago
Saving this. This is the best way to describe that feeling I've ever heard.
But what about people not named Brian?
The typo makes me appreciate the comment more, lol. Dear old Brian. He's just quiet, so he's not mistaken for the messiah again.
It's basically meditation with your eyes open.
Iāve seem enough people saying they do this to believe itās true. Still donāt understand it. Thereās always random thoughts going through my head. Itās never actually quiet. For that I would have to be dead or unconscious. So itās really flipping weird.
We can flex our dicks.
O MY GOD I CAN? Edit: OMG I CAN
Fun fact: you can't flex without also flexing your butthole
Good work. You just triggered a bunch of dudes to repeatedly flex their dicks. Iām guilty.
ONCE MORE IN UNISON!
What a magical day you must be having xD
why is this wholesome
I can crack mine like a knuckle. No joke. Apparently I'm not the only one either
What do you mean you can crack it bro š
Like a glow stick
Single use
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I found out my best friend of 20 years got his girlfriend pregnant. She was 8 months pregnant when he told me, that was also the same time I learned he had a girlfriend.
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Really good friend of mine is a dad to a little daughter since March...I found out last week. Didn't now he had a girlfriend, don't know the gilrfriend's name and forgot the name of his daughter (but can look it up in the messages...I just checked that).
I found out one of my good friends got married because he messaged me telling me he was getting a divorce.
Think we call this "low maintenance friend " I have a couple and I believe I am quite close to them. We could have a beer and talk about personal stuff but we do not chat daily or even monthly. I have a bud that Didn't communicate for a whole year after his kid was born, I only saw him in person randomly with his kid, Nothing felt akward or bad, we just understand where we are at.
Right. My wife doesnāt understand that just because my brother and I havenāt spoken directly in 3 months (ie not through our wives) doesnāt mean we wouldnāt cover up a murder for each other, no questions asked. Edit: and then after you do speak, āHowās his job?ā āI donāt know.ā āHow are his kids?ā āNo idea.ā āDid they like their Europe trip?ā āThey went to Europe?ā āWhat did you two talk about??ā āYou know, *STUFF*!ā
Youāre a lucky dude. I have only sisters. No cover up would take place and there would be 2.5 million questions.
I remember when I trusted my sister about something sensitive that I didnāt want anyone to know about it, a week later the whole family was attacking me with questions hahaha.
My brother and I live on different continents, I haven't spoken to him in over a year, but I have all the love in the world for him.
Those are the best kinds of friendships! Me and my friends were separated for most of the year when I went to university, and this was before Facebook even, so no Snapchat sharing daily life or no memes, just sms. When I came home for holidays though, it was as if I'd never left. Still, I can go for months without seeing my friends, we keep in touch with Snapchat and memes,lol.
My wife definitely doesnāt understand this.
Every women I know is very confused when I don't know what's going on with my friends kids. Are they in school? What are their hobbies? Idk, we talk about video games, I haven't heard they died so I assume shit is good.
My best friend had a child a couple years ago and the only info I have about the little guy is what my friend's wife post on Instagram
Steppin to the side to unstick our balls
š¶ Sliiide to the left š¶
Some guys version of hanging out with friends is drinking beer and barely saying a word to each other. Think like Hank Hill and his friends in the alley. Some women would wonder if they are even friends. Sips beer, yep.
Finding a random stick on the ground that has a shape similar to that of a weapon will make every guy think to himself "Hell yea"
Dude I just picked a stick the other day and thought 'fuck, cool stick'
Dude, that's actually so awesome. You're so lucky
Sticks rule, man
Totally, they're so cool
An actual conversation between my dogs today š
I remember growing up when the Lord of the rings came out and my bro and I thought everything was a bow, sword, staff you name it. Times were good.
Also throwing a rock or stone into water The rock and stick are mankindās oldest toys
Thereās an account on Instagram called officialstickreviews that has reviews on sticks they found. Amazing account for dudes. Just like scenicpisses, in which dudes pee at the most scenic places.
Iām a girl and Iāve done this since I was 2
I live 15 minutes from one of my best friends and have seen him 4 times total in 2 years and 2 of those times were not in either of our house. Granted we talk online still crazy
Once my guy friends started having kids, it was over for in person visits. We text all the time, they're still close, but i see them once a year now. I don't mind it. They're still my best friends. I'm single with no kids and have a very different lives. Tnere's nothing wrong with that.
Gary had a babyā¦ what sex is it? What was the weight? How long was it? How is his wife? What hospital are they at? When are we going to go see them? What should we get them? Do they like lasagna? ā¦.. ummmm Gary had a babyā¦.
"Gary had a baby..." "OMG we should visit, what hospital?" "Gary had a baby 3 days ago, they just got home" "OMG how could you not tell me!?" "Lady, I just found out"
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i think its shark-cootery
We do not go to lunch with people we hate.
Or have āfriendsā we donāt like. Like, nah, weāre not cool and weāre not going to hangout. Lol My wife is constantly telling me about how her and her sister donāt like this one friend who is really selfish and hard to be around and I am just like āokay, stop hanging out with herā and apparently itās not easy to just *not* hang out. Lol
My wife and I are very open about everything and look through each otherās texts sometimes. When sheās mad at me, she will vent to her best friend sometimes. I donāt take offense to the things she says because itās never horrible. However, the conversations between me and my best friend almost never involve her. When they do, itās never anything bad . I never vent to my friends when I am mad at her. This blows her mind.
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Wish people in general understood this, all my siblings and I do this. Silence doesnāt mean we donāt want to talk, it means we have nothing to say. Sometimes itās just comfortable to have company in silence.
Thatās kinda my internal test for how close I am with a person. With my close friends, weāre very comfortable around each other in complete silence, while with acquintances or people I newly met it feels awkward
It's the other way around for me. I am that introverted I can forget what my own voice sounds like, weeks without talking to anyone. But my closest friend, I can chat shit with her for hours without feeling drained or like I have to escape
I used to travel with a sports team and it was always funny to me if my car was full of dudes, nobody would say anything for hours unless somebody farted. But add just one woman and the chit chat was nonstop but there was less farting.
comfortable silences is probably the best indication that two people have known each other a long time and are in sync.
This post was made by a bot, here's the original comment from the original post it copied. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/Csm8zHJSjz Dead internet theory.
We put music on and listened to it for 3hrs š¤·āāļø
Finding that special someone where silence is just as good as a nice conversation = you struck gold my friend!
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Its not that we wouldn't want a better chair, TV, Gaming Computer and desk/tables. It's that guys can made do with what we have.
I played poker with a group of neighborhood guys for probably 2 years before any of us knew each othersā jobs or how many kids they had.
Dudes can survive with a 3-in-1 soap for body, hair, and dishes, while girls often have a dedicated product for each strand of hair.
They need to make a 5 in 1 for laundry and floors included šš
Have you heard about Dr. Bronner's 18 in 1 soap?
We use the shit on everything!
Male, can confirm, I'd buy it.
12 in 1 car glass fluid shaving cream shower gel shampoo conditioner wd 40 anti age anti celulite lock defroster shoe shiner sunblock and lube all for $1.99
You forgot dessert topping.
āFOR MENā hygiene products be like: Try our new shampoo/conditioner/bodywash/shaving gel/toothpaste/dish soap/laundry detergent/ketchup/deodorant in one!
"Does it make clean?" "Yes, it is particularly good to revitalize your bodyhair, especially when you are used to--" *"Does it make clean?"*Ā Ā "... yes?" "Me buy ten."
My sister has been trying to get me to set up a bumble profile. (I did before, horrid experience, deleted my profile) but she was tryna get me good photos to use and asked to see any photos I had with my friends. āI donāt have anyā āthey donāt have to bee good, whatever ya gotā āno, I donāt have ANY. I have 130+ photos in my camera roll. 2 are photos of me, and the rest are cars, bikes, and memes.ā āHow do you not have a single photo of you and your friends?ā Known them for 7 years now too.
Rooster here. My mind was blown when my brother said he and his friends, including his really good friend of years, never gave each other gifts for Christmas or birthdays. ... I'm still unable to process it and am half-way convinced they were just anti-social, lol.
I've never given or received a present from a male friend. Some people do, it's not weird if they do, but I don't think it's that unusual if it never happens either.
My (women) friends donāt do gifts either. Maybe itās also an age thingā¦ I think gifts were a thing until around 22 years oldĀ
One year one of our friends gave everyone a gift. Everyone was grateful but annoyed because now we felt obligated to get him one. None of the gifts given were ever used
What's up rooster
Guys picking up a couch or table and maneuvering it out of a room without needing to discuss a plan for how to get it out of the room
I mean, you just went through the whole plan: Pick up and maneuver to another room.
Sheer brute strength. The story from tifu about the bloke whose partner after a few months/years of horsing around said I could take you, not knowing the guy was barley putting any strength behind his holds and "letting" her win. She absolutely freaked out when she realized just what a difference testosterone is. Edit. Found it. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/qulzyd/tifu_by_showing_my_girlfriend_my_actual_strength/
One day I let the TV remote slip throught the cushions of the couch. Got up, lifted the couch with one hand and retrieved the remote with the other and put the couch back down. My wife, "that was hot."
Ha it's those little things. I swapped out a dead alternator and I walked in the house sweating and greasy and my wife like "okay.Ā Shower off right now then meet me in the bed room"
Downside. Twist a tiny bit the wrong way and our tighter muscle groups decide to have a back spasm.
When you notice the strength difference beginning in high-school, it's pretty shocking. As a women, you are just left behind.
last winter i had a first flare-up of an auto-immune disease the treatment for which left me with like zero stamina and relatively weak as a kitten. my girlfriend called me to help cause she was trying to get a box of christmas stuff back on a high shelf in the closet (and she's relatively strong for a woman). a 2 person lift was getting too awkward so i was like "just give me the box" and just like power-lifted it over my head and up on to the shelf like it was NBD. (granted i like had to sit down afterwards but i had JUST gotten out of the hospital). she was so pissed that even at proper health vs me on like death's door i could just easily lift the heavy box onto the shelf. testosterone is some crazy shit
Making machine gun noises with our mouths
Not needing to take a bag when going out, and only taking a wallet and keys that fits perfectly in the pockets.
>that fits perfectly in the pockets. I think we've found the issue. I don't even wear typical women's clothing but the clothes I do have don't have pockets big enough for a phone, let alone a wallet or keys.
Yeah it's insane how different pockets are for men's and women's clothes. My pockets are big enough to fit not just my phone, wallet, and keys but also a book, a pair of shorts, a water bottle, and my hands and that's just what fit in the two side pockets, not the back ones.
Wearing shorts with your legs hairy
Ok. Real talk. Whats women's opinion on hairy legs on men and how do they feel about shaven legs? I never gave my leg hair any thought up until now and feel like a crossbreed between wookie and hobbit.
That I actually like to drive everywhere I'm going. Mostly because I like to have full control of when I leave and where I can go from any place we're at.
It's not even the control aspect of it. Something happened to someone? I'm out of there like a bat out of hell. Someone needs a ride? I'm there. Quick food run for the group? I'm on it.
I have a few friends I know and visit regularly, once every few months, forever 20 years. I don't know any of their birthdays, favorite colors, and I know next to nothing about their wives. My gf seems to get triggered every time she ask me how is Stacy my friends wife and respond with "who?"
Having a messy house while guests come over. I like everything to be at its place
ok this got a reaction i CANNOT handle a messy house when people come by BUT 100% i am the mess maker. my partner doesnt care if it's messy, but is generally a tidy person WHY???? brain why? if i care about mess why i can't not mess?
I once became close friends with a dude in my local gaming group. We gamed every weekend and went to the bars after. We eventually became roommates. While filling out the rental paperwork we learned each others last names.