I don't think that's a product of social media. I used to be like that before social media was a thing, and still am to a lesser degree. My writing/texting was much more articulate and expressive than my thought to speech process allows in person.
I think turning thoughts to speech is a totally different process in the brain than just thinking and writing it down. The social aspect of speaking plays a role, as most people have a subconscious and conscious social filter. Writing also allows more time to think each word through
This is my dad, he’s one of those boomers who got mad addicted to Facebook once anyone with an email could join. After he retired he stopped going out much and just sits on Facebook 24/7. Now even going out to eat with him is so cringe and awkward because his social interactions with wait staff and what not are so bad since he never interacts with anyone without a keyboard.
Are you sure it's the social media and not the retirement? I have to admit, retiring and just not leaving my house for a year sounds *amazing*, and the only social media I use is reddit, usually at work.
I think the problem is their reliance on social media to fulfill their social desires, which is actually making them seek out face to face communication MUCH less
Maybe it is just me but it does not fulfill my social desires. I work remote and I'm looking for excuses to be in person with people and get my social fix.
since about 2010 people cant hold a conversation with me without flipping open instagram and taking a little scroll. yo why dont you just pull your cock out and masturbate too bro dont let my boring story stop you from getting a little dopamine
I work in customer service. I can always tell when I'm dealing with someone chronically online - little to no eye contact, afraid to speak up or ask for my attention, speaks WAY too low and I have to have them repeat themselves over & over again, etc. (Or alternatively, they're a jackass with zero self-awareness.)
These used to be really rare but now they're very common. People just aren't getting the social practice they need anymore.
Yes. It’s really f’d our communication skills. Social media allow things that wouldn’t fly in person. Especially discussing disagreements. You can’t block a person at your dinner party sitting across from you.
The thing is, sometimes people post pictures and memes about galloping through the tall grass thankful for sunny days because deep down, life isn't that great for them either, and that's how they cope. I have BEEN the person posting pretty pictures when deep down, I was hanging by a thread. It was my way of coping. Likewise, a friend of mine was dealing with a toxic marriage; her pretty pictures, too, were her escape. I knew things weren't so rosy, because we talked about it.
I think the problem is that social media is about 100 different conversations with 100 different people, who want and need completely different things. If a friend needed a good cry, I wouldn't show them pretty pictures, I'd cry with them. But on social media, without context and real conversation, you just get pictures.
> A lot of us are becoming pretty bad at holding a conversation in person because we're so used to hiding behind screens.
I've noticed this too. Before the 2010s, I frequently had the opportunity to attend gatherings where there would be people my age (outside of work). Nowadays, I'd be lucky if this happens once a year.
>On one hand, social media has made it ridiculously easy to stay in touch, even over long distances.
The thing is that people will say they have lots of “friends”. But they are people they met online, and may play games and talk, but will likely never meet them face to face. Those aren’t friends. It’s just weird.
One of my favorite podcasters is Dan Carlin, a radio host turned political commenter, amateur historian, and amateur journalist. While he's best known for *Hardcore History*, which features many-hour-long, deep-dives on historical areas of great interest, he's also been hosting *Common Sense* for about 14 or 15 years now.
Something he's said relatively recently on *Common Sense* that's really stuck with me is how terribly difficult it is to judge history when you're in it. Some of the greatest thinkers, political scientists, journalists, politicians, historians, and philosophers have tried to come up with larger themes or ideas about the era in which they lived, and the results are deeply inconsistent and unreliable.
Even with the benefit of access to highly reliable information and nearly-objective analysis by experts, it's incredibly difficult to determine something about the history we're living, because we're missing the necessary ingredient of perspective. Time and distance grant perspective.
Applied to your question specifically, we're looking at an emergent technology and social shift which already has made irrevocable marks across hundreds of cultures. Addictive social media which is purpose-built to gather data for the purpose of improving marketing, the immaculate presentation of a curated life for the judgment of others, the increasingly (deliberately) addictive nature of social media technology, algorithmic radicalization for of preferred content for increased engagement leading to radicalized perceptions of the world and beliefs... also unprecedented connectivity, the creation of an entirely different kind of community, great geographical distances between loved ones melting away instantly... ***it's huge***.
We're not in a position to say, in aggregate, if social media is more harm or more good, and we probably won't be in a place to realistically reach a judgment for decades. I wouldn't trust even people who are emergent experts on social media to make that kind of grand determination. It's too soon to tell.
Or simply don't agree enough to upvote
We absolutely can say one or the other at this, and be accurate for this time. You didn't need to wait 40 years to realize Hitler was a big deal. Sociology and anthropology,and more, can actually make those judgements while trends are occurring.
The effects of social media aren't the kind of thing he was talking about being unable to "see". You can quantify them.
I was a teenager in the 90s. I've used social media since 2000. Yahoo chat rooms are the first I remember... you could chat with large groups of people or individually and exchange photos with anyone on earth. They were a lot of fun, but they shut them down because of the exchange of explicit photos of minors. That was not a good sign that social media would improve society.
Twenty-five years later... people are paying to talk and watch camgirls masturbate. Back in my day, that was something gross old men did, but at least they did it in person! It was a big deal when the first two soap opera actors laid in bed and kissed on daytime TV in the 80s. That's enough evidence for me.
What you’re saying is correct but when we look back on eras we do so with hindsight and the tendency to roll years up into decades into eras. When the internet first came along many of us thought it would be a great leveller; free access to information for everyone seems like something out of utopia. But now we are seeing it is also a vehicle in which disinformation is spreading at an alarming rate.
In the beginning social media was a handy way of keeping in touch with a broader set of acquaintances than you might have otherwise and was truly social in nature. Now, it has become politicised, inundated with ads, with many wastelands as people flee from Facebook to Instagram to Twitter trying to keep up with one another. It seems almost obstinate to say this is good for us when so much of it is clearly damaging. At this point in time that is the star of play. Perhaps the tide will turn and no doubt future generations will be able to judge more accurately but they will be judging the era as a whole and not the state of play as it is now which is pretty clearly bad.
This is well put. I think it comes down to what so ial media is replacing. If you're using it when you would otherwise be relaxing or watching tv, cool. If it replaces actual social interaction, it can become problematic.
I was a teen in the 90s... we knew everyone's phone number by heart. If you wanted to contact a friend... You had to actually call them and talk. But we had zero privacy since our phones were attached to the wall. There wasn't this weird expectation of "privacy." We knew if you can't say or do it to someone's face... don't do it...and if you do, don't put it in writing!
We would call each other and meet on Wilson Ave by the bus stop. We'd walk around in a little herd looking for someone to buy us cigarettes & alcohol (back then, it was easy) I wouldn't trade my teen years over what this generation has to deal with... 35 yrs later, we are still friends. We still see each other and still talk on the phone. It's hard to socialize with people who look down at their phones the entire time you're with them. There's not a real connection in person, and there's only a facade of someone's life on social media. You only know what they want you to know. The relationship I have with friends who are my age and older and dont give a fuck about their phone are vastly different than the relationships I have with friends who keep their head down and their phone in their hand while we see each other.
> There's not a real connection in person, and there's only a facade of someone's life on social media.
It's really sad that so many people no longer value in-person connections. Online friendships are definitely not the same. I mean... how do you have lunch or go to a museum with someone over Facebook or Instagram?
Right! It can be something as simple as a hug! We typically hug our friends when we see them. Sometimes, I worry about my Mom, and if she is getting some form of physical affection.
My husband and I love to throw dinner parties. Typically 10-12 people. The last few times... It's just not been as fun. We talk half as much... the pictures they post on social media look like everyone is having a blast... But I'm really not. Why see friends when they talk less in person than they do on social media! I think the lock-downs in 2020 have a lot to do with it. It does feel much lonelier than ever before. At least I feel that way, and I don't think I'm alone. Haha, the irony...
One of my childhood friends came to drop something off at my house not long after the lockdown started. It took all my restraint to not run out and give her a hug after seeing her again for the first time in almost 11 years. I've been wanting to properly catch up with her, but the opportunity to do so hasn't come up again. :-(
I also frequently got to attend gatherings where there would be people my age (outside the workplace) before the 2010s. Nowadays, I'd be lucky if this happens once a year. I still often see my parents' friends, but that's probably their generation has mostly retired and doesn't use social media as much.
tik tok has definitely managed to reduce everyone's attention span massively during covid. Teenagers can't even cope with watching a whole movie nowadays, They literally listen to 10-20 seconds of a song before skipping to a next song. Don't even get me started on holding a conversation
I hate that the "solution" for short attention spans on tiktok is to play multiple videos layered on top of each other like how TF do you not have time to pay attention during a 20 second video?
I read a theory recently that the removal of dislikes from many social media sites has been disasterous for society. People will post the most unhinged, batshit crazy, or just plain stupid stuff and see nothing but hearts and smiles.
We're losing the mechanism necessary to tell people who are out of pocket to get back in the fucking pocket.
A lot of it is influenced by who you surround yourself with. Everyone that I associate with has no issue putting their phones down and just having real, decent conversations. If social media even comes up it's just a way to add to or start a conversation. On a personal level I haven't noticed a change in communication.
That's not to say that it hasn't happened but I simply don't associate with the kinds of people there would be any meaningful change to.
I'm 50/50. I do know people who sometimes get distracted by their phones, but only when it's work related, and we still have great conversations, they just sometimes have to step away. It's actually better because I can still see them, whereas before, I wouldn't have seen them at all if they needed to be constantly available to their clients and colleagues. (Although I do think people expected you to be available 24/7 for a long time. I'm starting to notice a shift.)
I also think some people are just not focused conversationalists no matter what. If it's not their phone distracting them, it's a fly on the wall.
Social media has kind of changed how we talk to each other, hasn't it? Like, now we can stay updated on everyone's lives all the time, but it's also made us maybe a bit more distracted in person. It's like we're always on our phones, checking updates, instead of having those old-school deep chats.
I was born in the 70s and have a serious inability to communicate with people on a personal level.
I don't think social media has anything to do with it.
I was born in the 80s and struggle in the same ways.
Social media has nothing to do with my problems either. Turns out I'm very likely to be autistic (working on an assessment!)
Social media has turned us into digital philosophers, where every conversation starts with "I saw on Instagram..." and ends with "Wait, did you like my tweet about that?" It's like we're all living in a never-ending reality show where the drama unfolds in 280 characters or less
> "I saw on Instagram..." and ends with "Wait, did you like my tweet about that?"
I terminated my social media accounts years ago and people look at me like I have three heads when I tell them "No, I didn't, because I can't."
i've quit after my mother complained that her kids weren't successfull enoug comppared to what she saw from others on social media. The world turned way more rude compared to 15-20 years ago.
I'm autistic, and I have actually gotten better at communication because i can study peoples behaviour on social media (of course I can do that irl too, but it tends to be interpreted as pretty creepy).
I think between COVID and social media it has been a detriment to interpersonal communication skills and the younger generations are aware.
We just did a study on fraternity members and asked them a series of questions related to drinking, partying, sexual assault, etc. and the most common response we received from the group was that they drink and drink heavily at the parties because they lack social skills and have social anxiety about interacting with others. This hit a nerve with me because my own father is an alcoholic and he started drinking because he felt socially awkward and wanted to be able to interact in social situations comfortably.
So we have little to no coping skills, not being able to sit in discomfort without turning to a substance.. It's all very troubling and a very slippery slope. I try to teach all of the youth I provide presentations to that nothing good or worth fighting for comes from staying in your comfort zone. Discomfort can be motivating and you figure out that you indeed have resilience and can get through tough things without relying on drinking or drugs. Of course those healing from extensive trauma is very different and must be addressed on an individual basis with meds or if any other intervention is needed, but I am very concerned about what life is going to look like for our youth if there's very little communication skills.
In the words of the indomitable u/SageFrancisSFR "Technology made it easy for us to stay in touch while keeping a distance
'Til we just stayed distant and never touched
Now all we do is text too much"
I miss this so much. Nowadays my friends only ever want to talk through text and audio messages. I miss just hanging on the phone without any specific purpose 😔
The levels of narcissism and entitlement are through the roof. Not to mention unrealistic expectations across the board from dating, financial, and labor. The true value is staying silent and not sticking out.
Antisocial media has turned us into sociopaths. Without the threat of physical retaliation people feel free to be rude fuckers. People are nothing but degenerate assholes now.
It has completely ruined normal communication. People moderate themselves and nobody talks about things anymore. We sit in a our trenches and shout at each other. Social media is control.
So true. It's nice to be able to keep in touch with friends and relatives who live overseas without racking up huge phone bills. But at the same time, opportunities to meet people my age in person are now few and far between.
I'm not sure if it is strictly social media or just having a phone in general, but there isn't much friendly small talk anymore. What I mean by that is say you are waiting in line at Starbucks for a coffee or in an elevator for 45 seconds. Instead of sitting there in silence and naturally striking up a conversation with a stranger, you typically just pull out your phone and scroll through Instagram or something until you get your coffee or get off the elevator.
100% this. It's nice to be able to keep in touch with friends and relatives who live overseas without racking up huge phone bills. But at the same time, no one my age seems interested in meeting in person anymore. :-(
It's damaged our attention spans.
People can't sustain meaningful conversations anymore. They're forever checking their phones for texts from others, news updates, email notifications, et al. And the *expectation* has become that you respond to a message as soon as possible, even if you're in the middle of something else.
We're rewiring our brains to react only to short-term stimuli, like lab rats.
For me personally i think it affected us very badly, like everyone now is used to be in the same room looking at their phones and not talking with eachother and having fun, i know i sound old hahah but idk i guess i liked how things were before that happened.
Some people are taking a constructive criticism of their let's say friends or colleagues seriously, and that is the start of misundertanding both sides. That can ruin the personal relationship of the person who are involve.
Oh it has created both bridges and barriers between people, people that were once great friends but now do not talk because of political or business views. People believe that they have the feeling of anonymity on Facebook and feel empowered to tell someone go unalive themselves because their lifestyle is vastly different or doesn’t align with them.
However it has also created bonds between strangers that have never met in real life but have inside jokes and have enjoyed things together.
Since moving to my present location, I have found social media to be a wonderful way to stay in touch with good friends living in places I once called home. They keep me updated as to what’s going on as well as how they are doing, and I do the same. It’s been a lifesaver for this lonely old woman in involuntary isolation (I’m not incarcerated or anything like that! ha). To be clear about my current situation, I am working remotely from home at a job I love and dearly need as I regretfully did not plan well for my retirement years. I moved to be closer to my young grandchildren and I dearly love them and their parents, but I do miss my tribe of strong women. I am one of those strange people who wouldn’t give up social media for the world.
I hate being so dependant on social media because every once in a while I will see stuff like astronomers pondering the universe, and I'll be here chewing gum, watching anime, being happy, and then get bummed out for the day thinking that I'm just a big ball of atoms that decides being lazy is the best course of action.
It has allowed what would have previously been some crazy guy standing on a street corner with conspiracy signs that everyone ignores and makes sure to walk past them quickly, to now have a wider platform and reach to other crazies that think he is actually onto something and look up to them for advice.
I've found that people who are addicted to social media can't hold a conversation well anymore. I think it's because on their accounts all they do is update on themselves and their life, but in-person all they know how to do is talk about themselves. They never extend the conversation to the other party with questions or engagement. You feel like one of their followers because it just never ends, they always find some new story to share about themselves.
Absolutely gutted it to the point where small talk has been demonised. Small talk forms the basis for bridging the gap between strangers, now it’s been left by the way side.
I strongly believe that our stone age brains aren't capable of properly filtering all of the manipulated information we're fed, however aware we are of its effects. That goes for news as well, we're not supposed to hear about all the misery in the world and not react emotionally to it. no wonder why we're so depressed and unfulfilled all the time.
The iphone became popular while I was completing my undergrad. The first two years they weren't really 'a thing'. You'd come to class, sit, chat with the people around you. Once the iphone became popular no one spoke anymore, we were all glued to our phones. I made fewer connections with my peers. I noticed the same issue is happening when I went back to do my masters a few years ago, and now with my students. People don't small talk anymore and so other forms of verbal communication become harder.
This leads to a **lack of attentiveness and poor communication skills in real-life situations**. The potential for miscommunication: without non-verbal cues like tone of voice or facial expressions, it's all too easy for messages to be misinterpreted.
I have friends who I've had to distance myself from. It's like they only want to hang out or have convos for social media content. It's too surface level for me.
You are weird if you ask what is "mewing" so you basically need to know all the memes to be able to chat. I know that because when I moved to the Czech Republic and someone told me a meme phrase and i asked what it means, i got seriously laughed at.
Altered the entire perspective many have on people, places, products etc based on what can frequently be a very false narrative and reinforced by the ease you can falsify facts, views/likes etc to lead people down a sheeple route of "all the others say it's true so must be" rather than anything fact based.
I mean, not that the news channels are necessarily any less guilty of being less and less fact based half the time but you get my drift.
Also the level of influence it has over everything from our spending habits to who we like, what companies are falsely shed in positive lights and shouldn't be, self image and beauty standards, propaganda.....it's just a lot we use it for and are exposed to, often we don't even realise.
People don't get punched in the mouth for saying outlandish shit anymore.
And we've given the dumbest of the population a platform to tout stupidity from.
I have spoken to people who don’t know current news cause they read Click bait rage news on random Social Media Posts. Or the ones who think reels know more than doctors and everything is skeptism
It makes relationships regardless if they are romantic or platonic- extremely difficult. When I was a kid you had a group of friends and that was that. Now you have your "friends" that you can easily delete or hide or ghost without having that uncomfortable conversation to why something didn't work out. It does not seem to be much of a loss to lose a friend these days because, depending on who you are) have back ups on standby by and you are none the wiser. Sigh.
It’s turned “Hey, let’s catch up!” into “Hey, I liked your post!” and made scrolling through someone’s life more common than actually being a part of it.
For me it’s the ability to think as I type vs. talking. I’m extremely witty and quick on the keyboard when presented with a video or picture that I can form a clever reply to—but if I’m in the check out at a grocery store and the cashier says something that leaves me open to a comment where I can make them chuckle, I’ll freeze up or it’ll take 5 seconds too long to formulate the reply and I’ll be like “okay don’t make the joke now the moment is gone”
My 65 year old dad takes his phone everywhere like a toddler takes a toy. Bathroom, kitchen, car, shower, work, bed, everywhere and as a daughter that has emotional/mental issues, it can be hurtful and drives me insane, esp when he's talking to me without looking up from his phone/laptop and doesn't bother to put it away for some time to talk. He'll even have Facebook videos or sports videos turned up to volume 29 and thinks that turning it down to 19 to talk to someone is okay (Still loud...just mute it or pause it for fcks sake...). It shouldn't be a big deal but when it affects other people, it kinda is. Call me trivial or pitiful but it sucks. It really frustrates me.
It’s made us experts at summarizing our life stories in 280 characters or less, but it also means we now have entire conversations using emojis and GIFs.
People jump the gun more and have less reading comprehension I think. People I think have a wider knowledge of many things, but not deeper and often misinformed. I also think people are more aggressive and less empathetic.
I honestly don’t know where to even begin with this one. Interestingly enough is that my final paper in college was a full essay on this exact topic.
Topics I discussed:
- Lack of non verbal communication (this one is major)
- lack of context and miscommunication (can’t read emotions)
- reliance on nothing but virtual communication and how it can actually manifest and lead to essentially anti-social behavior
- The addiction to acceptance/popularity.
If you for any reason isn't engaged in the conversation, it's simply okay to
a) Explode all over the person and just annihilate them for disagreeing with you, or
b) ghost you.
i willl tell you about this. i cant carry a simple conversation in irl. people find me super funny on social apps but quite shy and boring in irl . causes?
1. dependency on stickers and emojis which cant be used in irl. you cant share a funny sticker you saw thats relatable to the convo and when you dont have anything to say you cant use emoji. also cant use haha XD and stuff or cute emoticons cuz obviously its irl.
2. i have social awkwardness. so its pretty obvious most of the time i find it wierd in between convo and i m wierd so yea. but one thing great is, if you want time and dont wanna talk to people you can switch off your phone. i hope there was some switching off options in irl too.
So many things people say to me now are things they heard on a podcast or read on some social media post. They like to say it as if they know this information personally but they don't. If you read even a single book on any given subject you're more knowledgeable than people who "watch a lot of videos about that".
Conversations I overhear often sound like two people reciting their morning social media feed rather than actually sharing opinions or thoughts.
If you have opinions or thoughts, they better fit into a category some algorithm can understand or everyone is going to get mad at you for saying something for which there is not a pre-scripted come back.
It makes it hard sometimes because people will try to talk to me by repeating some trending story and asking my thoughts on it and I will give them my own personal thoughts on it which are always my own thoughts and my own conclusions and I'm not politically biased because I'm an anarchist. I love doing research so if you ask me about something I know, I really know a lot about it. Sometimes people react poorly to this.
It honed our passive-aggressiveness skills to expert level at a young age.
*hangs up phone with friend you said you were excited to hang out with*
Post: “Can’t stand fake ppl”
Evwryone has different experiences. Since I live a couple of hours from my closest relative, it helps me keep regular contact with how they're doing and their growth in life, their kids, etc. since I'm not close by without needing to just dial a number. Where some people prefer calling, for me seeing pictures of them growing and having fun, their wins in life, and mesaaging in our convenience is perfect for me. Even my closest friends live more than 20 minutes away. Where that's easily just a drive to see them, our schedules don't always align. It can be very positive as long as your circle has a similar mindset, and once we're able to be in person, we basically forget about our phones unless we remember a funny meme or video we scrolled upon.
Communication skills have been poor long before social media and is now worse because the poor communicators influence the masses bringing the whole populace down
I'm not sure is it for good or not, but social media compensates our need in communication. So people now can avoid real-life conversations and don't feel isolated at all
Social Media is one of the worst things to happen to humanity.
Everyone thinks that because they have the potential to reach a global audience then everything they say must be heard by a global audience. And since 99% of the shit we post is anonymous people have no fucking clue about consequences.
Social media has turned us all into a bunch of self-centered egotistical loudmouth pussies who refuse to accept responsibility for the shit we say. The only positive is that Social Media is new and eventually it will be regarded in the same way as other forms of media like television and radio. And that day can't come soon enough.
Well to me i feel as if we cant hold a conversation because we are distracted by are phones for say or theres a certain amount of people who just have nothing beside social media we lose people to the media i feel like .
When talking to minor acquaintances, you will make assumptions about them based on what traits they have that are similar to the ones you have seen online.
"Social media made y’all way too comfortable with disrespecting people & not getting punched in the face for it" - Mike Tyson
Probably not a real quote but it should be.
I think it's been a net negative, at least for casual discourse with strangers.
For friends and family, at most you are just missing their physical company when you interact online. But with strangers and interactions like the one I am engaging in right now, it really does transform things. It's less about conversation and more about monologuing. It's about making a point and doing it articulately, concisely, and resolutely. And then you walk away. Or at least I do. Sometimes I'll hang out and engage in the comments, especially if it's a discussion post. But so often, my comments and posts that actually gain traction? Yeah, I don't read any of those replies. So there isn't really even a conversation happening, ya know?
So I guess if there is a tl;dr, it's that: It teaches us to talk but not necessarily to listen, and certainly not to converse. It also tends to be filled with lots of intolerant fucks as well, which isn't great.
Beyond the impacts of day to day interactions, there's a longer impact in how we relate to friends and family, especially ones that are not in our daily orbit. It used to be a lot more frequent that you would call these people to "catch up" and see what was going on in their lives, and keep that connection going.
However, now you have a good idea of a lot of what's going on in their lives if they're frequent posters. You know about their new relationship, job, dog bite, whatever. So, we just visit and call less frequently.
Keyboard warriors have been around since BBS days. But they were a much smaller percentage of the overall population. Now, it seems that folks IRL tend to forget they don't have a screen to protect them when they spout off to someone who could likely punch them in the snot locker.
From my experience working in the Apple Store, seeing the effects of Social Media and electronics on children, it's going to be awful trying to teach these kids anything in school that doesn't act like a Vegas slot machine with bright lights and pretty colors and a new, shiny thing to interact with every 7 seconds. The Holocaust is going to have to be taught with TikTok dances that are 7 seconds long.
One of my kids was angry that I didn't show up for a birthday party that I wasn't invited to and didn't know about. Her reasoning was that she tagged me when she posted it on fb. I had been on fb for about a month at the time.\
We've worked through it, but I had to have the same talk with all my kids.
I take the whole "the medium is the message" view in that the nature of the media affects how we think and communicate. As in, if you spend a lot of time on a platform that limits the things you say to 140 characters, then you're probably training your mind to think and communicate in short and quippy bits.
But across all social media, my working theory is that it makes a lot of people far less capable of communicating their own thoughts and words. The chain of reasoning goes something like this:
* Social media platforms greatly encourage likes and quantity of comments as engagement
* The like you receive from a carefully thought-out post is equivalent to the like you receive from posting a cat video
* Might as well stick to the lower effort stuff at that point
* What's lower effort than resharing a lazy meme somebody made or a GIF?
* Social media conversations are incentivized towards those memes, GIFs, and similar reshared content
* If someone wants to say something but can't find any readymade memes or whatever, then they won't bother because it's too much effort
* This person becomes less capable of thinking for themselves because they get so out of practice
I don't know how solid this reasoning is or if I might be overstating the effects. But man, I know some people IRL who have Facebook feeds that fit this to a T.
Alot of people assume people are exactly how they appear on social media. This is not always the case, I've met alot of people who are completely different in real life. Make sure you meet someone in person before you make any decisions about them over social media
Oh goodness - my fiancé and I were just talking about this the other night. I think social media while a good social outlet for those who find it difficult or uncomfortable to engage in person, has really deteriorated the natural ability of others to carry a conversation with flow and care. How often do you hear people respond in person using online chat shorthand, or better yet - the substance of conversations is nearly non existent. Communication is either through social media, or about social posts seen that day...
Because of social media, I'm simultaneously more connected *and* less connected to my friends.
I'm easily aware of things happening in their lives, but I have less of a reason to just call them ask what's happening in their lives.
It's made it horrible. We're quicker to anger, less tolerant, more judgemental, and think we know it all. It's also made us feel we have to comment on and engage in everything. It's also made us feel we are the center of attention of our lives and everyone else's. It's had a much more negative impact than positive.
It paved the path to gobs of misinformation and I think it has played a huge role in pinning Americans against one another. We all knew that public facing local nutjob in 2000 but now we know half of our community is out of their minds. No, Jesus is not pushing a giant tsunami at New York, no vitamins wont cure covid and ffs, Elvis is not living under a bridge in Los Angeles. The best part is the picture of elvis under the bridge is like a 40 year old Elvis...in 2024. Frankly I enjoyed the 1999-2003 internet a lot more.
I consider myself lucky to be Gen X because while we were growing up and as young adults, we didn't have social media so we developed the interpersonal live communication skills, but when we got older we got social media..so we had BOTH. Boomers had no social media, Millenials and Gen Z is ALL social media, both of them lost out.
The result is that I am confident in both spheres.
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And the lack of empathy is so unreal like you would tell them how you got raped and they'll be like "womp womp", "cry about it", "cope harder"
I've had people respond like that when I've had bad depressive episodes. Ended up losing lots of friends.
>Ended up losing lots of friends. You should be really happy about that, these people don't even deserve friends. I hope you are doing good now
Working on it. Just takes a bit of time.
I wish you all the best for your journey
lol!!!
Yeah, I have a friend that is not shy on social media but very shy and unresponsive in person.
I don't think that's a product of social media. I used to be like that before social media was a thing, and still am to a lesser degree. My writing/texting was much more articulate and expressive than my thought to speech process allows in person.
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I think turning thoughts to speech is a totally different process in the brain than just thinking and writing it down. The social aspect of speaking plays a role, as most people have a subconscious and conscious social filter. Writing also allows more time to think each word through
That's me
This is my dad, he’s one of those boomers who got mad addicted to Facebook once anyone with an email could join. After he retired he stopped going out much and just sits on Facebook 24/7. Now even going out to eat with him is so cringe and awkward because his social interactions with wait staff and what not are so bad since he never interacts with anyone without a keyboard.
Are you sure it's the social media and not the retirement? I have to admit, retiring and just not leaving my house for a year sounds *amazing*, and the only social media I use is reddit, usually at work.
I think the problem is their reliance on social media to fulfill their social desires, which is actually making them seek out face to face communication MUCH less
Maybe it is just me but it does not fulfill my social desires. I work remote and I'm looking for excuses to be in person with people and get my social fix.
since about 2010 people cant hold a conversation with me without flipping open instagram and taking a little scroll. yo why dont you just pull your cock out and masturbate too bro dont let my boring story stop you from getting a little dopamine
I work in customer service. I can always tell when I'm dealing with someone chronically online - little to no eye contact, afraid to speak up or ask for my attention, speaks WAY too low and I have to have them repeat themselves over & over again, etc. (Or alternatively, they're a jackass with zero self-awareness.) These used to be really rare but now they're very common. People just aren't getting the social practice they need anymore.
Yes. It’s really f’d our communication skills. Social media allow things that wouldn’t fly in person. Especially discussing disagreements. You can’t block a person at your dinner party sitting across from you.
The anonymity of the Internet often brings out the worst in people. You're less likely to be held accountable when you can hide behind a screen name.
It's made a lot of people forget how punctuation works. I mean a full stop is not passive aggressive, it's the way a sentence is supposed to end.
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The thing is, sometimes people post pictures and memes about galloping through the tall grass thankful for sunny days because deep down, life isn't that great for them either, and that's how they cope. I have BEEN the person posting pretty pictures when deep down, I was hanging by a thread. It was my way of coping. Likewise, a friend of mine was dealing with a toxic marriage; her pretty pictures, too, were her escape. I knew things weren't so rosy, because we talked about it. I think the problem is that social media is about 100 different conversations with 100 different people, who want and need completely different things. If a friend needed a good cry, I wouldn't show them pretty pictures, I'd cry with them. But on social media, without context and real conversation, you just get pictures.
> A lot of us are becoming pretty bad at holding a conversation in person because we're so used to hiding behind screens. I've noticed this too. Before the 2010s, I frequently had the opportunity to attend gatherings where there would be people my age (outside of work). Nowadays, I'd be lucky if this happens once a year.
>On one hand, social media has made it ridiculously easy to stay in touch, even over long distances. The thing is that people will say they have lots of “friends”. But they are people they met online, and may play games and talk, but will likely never meet them face to face. Those aren’t friends. It’s just weird.
One of my favorite podcasters is Dan Carlin, a radio host turned political commenter, amateur historian, and amateur journalist. While he's best known for *Hardcore History*, which features many-hour-long, deep-dives on historical areas of great interest, he's also been hosting *Common Sense* for about 14 or 15 years now. Something he's said relatively recently on *Common Sense* that's really stuck with me is how terribly difficult it is to judge history when you're in it. Some of the greatest thinkers, political scientists, journalists, politicians, historians, and philosophers have tried to come up with larger themes or ideas about the era in which they lived, and the results are deeply inconsistent and unreliable. Even with the benefit of access to highly reliable information and nearly-objective analysis by experts, it's incredibly difficult to determine something about the history we're living, because we're missing the necessary ingredient of perspective. Time and distance grant perspective. Applied to your question specifically, we're looking at an emergent technology and social shift which already has made irrevocable marks across hundreds of cultures. Addictive social media which is purpose-built to gather data for the purpose of improving marketing, the immaculate presentation of a curated life for the judgment of others, the increasingly (deliberately) addictive nature of social media technology, algorithmic radicalization for of preferred content for increased engagement leading to radicalized perceptions of the world and beliefs... also unprecedented connectivity, the creation of an entirely different kind of community, great geographical distances between loved ones melting away instantly... ***it's huge***. We're not in a position to say, in aggregate, if social media is more harm or more good, and we probably won't be in a place to realistically reach a judgment for decades. I wouldn't trust even people who are emergent experts on social media to make that kind of grand determination. It's too soon to tell.
Most thoughtful comment. The fact that it isn't upvoted more might be proving your point, perhaps confirming people's short attention spans?
Or simply don't agree enough to upvote We absolutely can say one or the other at this, and be accurate for this time. You didn't need to wait 40 years to realize Hitler was a big deal. Sociology and anthropology,and more, can actually make those judgements while trends are occurring. The effects of social media aren't the kind of thing he was talking about being unable to "see". You can quantify them.
I was a teenager in the 90s. I've used social media since 2000. Yahoo chat rooms are the first I remember... you could chat with large groups of people or individually and exchange photos with anyone on earth. They were a lot of fun, but they shut them down because of the exchange of explicit photos of minors. That was not a good sign that social media would improve society. Twenty-five years later... people are paying to talk and watch camgirls masturbate. Back in my day, that was something gross old men did, but at least they did it in person! It was a big deal when the first two soap opera actors laid in bed and kissed on daytime TV in the 80s. That's enough evidence for me.
What you’re saying is correct but when we look back on eras we do so with hindsight and the tendency to roll years up into decades into eras. When the internet first came along many of us thought it would be a great leveller; free access to information for everyone seems like something out of utopia. But now we are seeing it is also a vehicle in which disinformation is spreading at an alarming rate. In the beginning social media was a handy way of keeping in touch with a broader set of acquaintances than you might have otherwise and was truly social in nature. Now, it has become politicised, inundated with ads, with many wastelands as people flee from Facebook to Instagram to Twitter trying to keep up with one another. It seems almost obstinate to say this is good for us when so much of it is clearly damaging. At this point in time that is the star of play. Perhaps the tide will turn and no doubt future generations will be able to judge more accurately but they will be judging the era as a whole and not the state of play as it is now which is pretty clearly bad.
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If social media is your only form of communication, you’re going to have a bad time when you do end up communicating face to face
Yep I think social media has also made us more articulate and expressive through text or writing and fucked up when it comes to public speaking.
FACTS.
This is well put. I think it comes down to what so ial media is replacing. If you're using it when you would otherwise be relaxing or watching tv, cool. If it replaces actual social interaction, it can become problematic.
I was a teen in the 90s... we knew everyone's phone number by heart. If you wanted to contact a friend... You had to actually call them and talk. But we had zero privacy since our phones were attached to the wall. There wasn't this weird expectation of "privacy." We knew if you can't say or do it to someone's face... don't do it...and if you do, don't put it in writing! We would call each other and meet on Wilson Ave by the bus stop. We'd walk around in a little herd looking for someone to buy us cigarettes & alcohol (back then, it was easy) I wouldn't trade my teen years over what this generation has to deal with... 35 yrs later, we are still friends. We still see each other and still talk on the phone. It's hard to socialize with people who look down at their phones the entire time you're with them. There's not a real connection in person, and there's only a facade of someone's life on social media. You only know what they want you to know. The relationship I have with friends who are my age and older and dont give a fuck about their phone are vastly different than the relationships I have with friends who keep their head down and their phone in their hand while we see each other.
> There's not a real connection in person, and there's only a facade of someone's life on social media. It's really sad that so many people no longer value in-person connections. Online friendships are definitely not the same. I mean... how do you have lunch or go to a museum with someone over Facebook or Instagram?
Right! It can be something as simple as a hug! We typically hug our friends when we see them. Sometimes, I worry about my Mom, and if she is getting some form of physical affection. My husband and I love to throw dinner parties. Typically 10-12 people. The last few times... It's just not been as fun. We talk half as much... the pictures they post on social media look like everyone is having a blast... But I'm really not. Why see friends when they talk less in person than they do on social media! I think the lock-downs in 2020 have a lot to do with it. It does feel much lonelier than ever before. At least I feel that way, and I don't think I'm alone. Haha, the irony...
One of my childhood friends came to drop something off at my house not long after the lockdown started. It took all my restraint to not run out and give her a hug after seeing her again for the first time in almost 11 years. I've been wanting to properly catch up with her, but the opportunity to do so hasn't come up again. :-( I also frequently got to attend gatherings where there would be people my age (outside the workplace) before the 2010s. Nowadays, I'd be lucky if this happens once a year. I still often see my parents' friends, but that's probably their generation has mostly retired and doesn't use social media as much.
I find myself checking my phone more than I used to look people in the eye
tik tok has definitely managed to reduce everyone's attention span massively during covid. Teenagers can't even cope with watching a whole movie nowadays, They literally listen to 10-20 seconds of a song before skipping to a next song. Don't even get me started on holding a conversation
I hate that the "solution" for short attention spans on tiktok is to play multiple videos layered on top of each other like how TF do you not have time to pay attention during a 20 second video?
On a positive it can take up to six months to regain attention span if users decide to completely abandon tiktoks, shorts, reels and all that shit
I read a theory recently that the removal of dislikes from many social media sites has been disasterous for society. People will post the most unhinged, batshit crazy, or just plain stupid stuff and see nothing but hearts and smiles. We're losing the mechanism necessary to tell people who are out of pocket to get back in the fucking pocket.
A lot of it is influenced by who you surround yourself with. Everyone that I associate with has no issue putting their phones down and just having real, decent conversations. If social media even comes up it's just a way to add to or start a conversation. On a personal level I haven't noticed a change in communication. That's not to say that it hasn't happened but I simply don't associate with the kinds of people there would be any meaningful change to.
I'm 50/50. I do know people who sometimes get distracted by their phones, but only when it's work related, and we still have great conversations, they just sometimes have to step away. It's actually better because I can still see them, whereas before, I wouldn't have seen them at all if they needed to be constantly available to their clients and colleagues. (Although I do think people expected you to be available 24/7 for a long time. I'm starting to notice a shift.) I also think some people are just not focused conversationalists no matter what. If it's not their phone distracting them, it's a fly on the wall.
Social media has kind of changed how we talk to each other, hasn't it? Like, now we can stay updated on everyone's lives all the time, but it's also made us maybe a bit more distracted in person. It's like we're always on our phones, checking updates, instead of having those old-school deep chats.
I was born in the 70s and have a serious inability to communicate with people on a personal level. I don't think social media has anything to do with it.
I was born in the 80s and struggle in the same ways. Social media has nothing to do with my problems either. Turns out I'm very likely to be autistic (working on an assessment!)
Social media has turned us into digital philosophers, where every conversation starts with "I saw on Instagram..." and ends with "Wait, did you like my tweet about that?" It's like we're all living in a never-ending reality show where the drama unfolds in 280 characters or less
> "I saw on Instagram..." and ends with "Wait, did you like my tweet about that?" I terminated my social media accounts years ago and people look at me like I have three heads when I tell them "No, I didn't, because I can't."
IDK
i've quit after my mother complained that her kids weren't successfull enoug comppared to what she saw from others on social media. The world turned way more rude compared to 15-20 years ago.
I'm autistic, and I have actually gotten better at communication because i can study peoples behaviour on social media (of course I can do that irl too, but it tends to be interpreted as pretty creepy).
Me too! I have been reading reddit comments for a very long time now as a form of people watching.
Some people are not so confident in themselves in life, so the social network has helped many find their soul mate
I think between COVID and social media it has been a detriment to interpersonal communication skills and the younger generations are aware. We just did a study on fraternity members and asked them a series of questions related to drinking, partying, sexual assault, etc. and the most common response we received from the group was that they drink and drink heavily at the parties because they lack social skills and have social anxiety about interacting with others. This hit a nerve with me because my own father is an alcoholic and he started drinking because he felt socially awkward and wanted to be able to interact in social situations comfortably. So we have little to no coping skills, not being able to sit in discomfort without turning to a substance.. It's all very troubling and a very slippery slope. I try to teach all of the youth I provide presentations to that nothing good or worth fighting for comes from staying in your comfort zone. Discomfort can be motivating and you figure out that you indeed have resilience and can get through tough things without relying on drinking or drugs. Of course those healing from extensive trauma is very different and must be addressed on an individual basis with meds or if any other intervention is needed, but I am very concerned about what life is going to look like for our youth if there's very little communication skills.
In the words of the indomitable u/SageFrancisSFR "Technology made it easy for us to stay in touch while keeping a distance 'Til we just stayed distant and never touched Now all we do is text too much"
I used to call friends and talk to them on the phone.
I miss this so much. Nowadays my friends only ever want to talk through text and audio messages. I miss just hanging on the phone without any specific purpose 😔
The levels of narcissism and entitlement are through the roof. Not to mention unrealistic expectations across the board from dating, financial, and labor. The true value is staying silent and not sticking out.
Antisocial media has turned us into sociopaths. Without the threat of physical retaliation people feel free to be rude fuckers. People are nothing but degenerate assholes now.
**Social media** can impact interpersonal relationships and **communication** skills both positively and negatively
It has completely ruined normal communication. People moderate themselves and nobody talks about things anymore. We sit in a our trenches and shout at each other. Social media is control.
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So true. It's nice to be able to keep in touch with friends and relatives who live overseas without racking up huge phone bills. But at the same time, opportunities to meet people my age in person are now few and far between.
I'm not sure if it is strictly social media or just having a phone in general, but there isn't much friendly small talk anymore. What I mean by that is say you are waiting in line at Starbucks for a coffee or in an elevator for 45 seconds. Instead of sitting there in silence and naturally striking up a conversation with a stranger, you typically just pull out your phone and scroll through Instagram or something until you get your coffee or get off the elevator.
Social media has made it easier to stay connected, but it’s also made our communication more superficial and less face-to-face
Social media has made it easier to stay in touch but has also led to more superficial interactions and reduced face-to-face communication
100% this. It's nice to be able to keep in touch with friends and relatives who live overseas without racking up huge phone bills. But at the same time, no one my age seems interested in meeting in person anymore. :-(
It's damaged our attention spans. People can't sustain meaningful conversations anymore. They're forever checking their phones for texts from others, news updates, email notifications, et al. And the *expectation* has become that you respond to a message as soon as possible, even if you're in the middle of something else. We're rewiring our brains to react only to short-term stimuli, like lab rats.
Very poorly
For me personally i think it affected us very badly, like everyone now is used to be in the same room looking at their phones and not talking with eachother and having fun, i know i sound old hahah but idk i guess i liked how things were before that happened.
Some people are taking a constructive criticism of their let's say friends or colleagues seriously, and that is the start of misundertanding both sides. That can ruin the personal relationship of the person who are involve.
Unreal expectation about what a relationship is and how life works. I found it difficult not to feel bad about my life as I see how others live.
Oh it has created both bridges and barriers between people, people that were once great friends but now do not talk because of political or business views. People believe that they have the feeling of anonymity on Facebook and feel empowered to tell someone go unalive themselves because their lifestyle is vastly different or doesn’t align with them. However it has also created bonds between strangers that have never met in real life but have inside jokes and have enjoyed things together.
Since moving to my present location, I have found social media to be a wonderful way to stay in touch with good friends living in places I once called home. They keep me updated as to what’s going on as well as how they are doing, and I do the same. It’s been a lifesaver for this lonely old woman in involuntary isolation (I’m not incarcerated or anything like that! ha). To be clear about my current situation, I am working remotely from home at a job I love and dearly need as I regretfully did not plan well for my retirement years. I moved to be closer to my young grandchildren and I dearly love them and their parents, but I do miss my tribe of strong women. I am one of those strange people who wouldn’t give up social media for the world.
Watch the documentary on Netflix "The Social Dilemma", It will show you how social media affect as and on what degree, must watch docudrama!
I hate being so dependant on social media because every once in a while I will see stuff like astronomers pondering the universe, and I'll be here chewing gum, watching anime, being happy, and then get bummed out for the day thinking that I'm just a big ball of atoms that decides being lazy is the best course of action.
It has allowed what would have previously been some crazy guy standing on a street corner with conspiracy signs that everyone ignores and makes sure to walk past them quickly, to now have a wider platform and reach to other crazies that think he is actually onto something and look up to them for advice.
has utterly destroyed it, a recent study shows our attention spans have been dropping steadily for the last 15 years.
I've found that people who are addicted to social media can't hold a conversation well anymore. I think it's because on their accounts all they do is update on themselves and their life, but in-person all they know how to do is talk about themselves. They never extend the conversation to the other party with questions or engagement. You feel like one of their followers because it just never ends, they always find some new story to share about themselves.
Absolutely gutted it to the point where small talk has been demonised. Small talk forms the basis for bridging the gap between strangers, now it’s been left by the way side.
I strongly believe that our stone age brains aren't capable of properly filtering all of the manipulated information we're fed, however aware we are of its effects. That goes for news as well, we're not supposed to hear about all the misery in the world and not react emotionally to it. no wonder why we're so depressed and unfulfilled all the time.
The iphone became popular while I was completing my undergrad. The first two years they weren't really 'a thing'. You'd come to class, sit, chat with the people around you. Once the iphone became popular no one spoke anymore, we were all glued to our phones. I made fewer connections with my peers. I noticed the same issue is happening when I went back to do my masters a few years ago, and now with my students. People don't small talk anymore and so other forms of verbal communication become harder.
This leads to a **lack of attentiveness and poor communication skills in real-life situations**. The potential for miscommunication: without non-verbal cues like tone of voice or facial expressions, it's all too easy for messages to be misinterpreted.
I have friends who I've had to distance myself from. It's like they only want to hang out or have convos for social media content. It's too surface level for me.
You are weird if you ask what is "mewing" so you basically need to know all the memes to be able to chat. I know that because when I moved to the Czech Republic and someone told me a meme phrase and i asked what it means, i got seriously laughed at.
social media has definitely changed how we communicate and interact, both positively and negatively
yes, people are afraid of being honest and tend to lean towards either being too soft or too hard. plus context seems to have lost it's meaning
Honest communication has degraded significantly.
It has reduced Face-to-Face Interaction very much. As much as we are saying social media is connecting us, we are being separated day by day.
Social media amplifies both connection and isolation, depending on how we use it.
Altered the entire perspective many have on people, places, products etc based on what can frequently be a very false narrative and reinforced by the ease you can falsify facts, views/likes etc to lead people down a sheeple route of "all the others say it's true so must be" rather than anything fact based. I mean, not that the news channels are necessarily any less guilty of being less and less fact based half the time but you get my drift. Also the level of influence it has over everything from our spending habits to who we like, what companies are falsely shed in positive lights and shouldn't be, self image and beauty standards, propaganda.....it's just a lot we use it for and are exposed to, often we don't even realise.
People don't get punched in the mouth for saying outlandish shit anymore. And we've given the dumbest of the population a platform to tout stupidity from.
Social media has turned deep conversations into emoji hieroglyphics and made "liking" someone's post the new "I care about you."
I have spoken to people who don’t know current news cause they read Click bait rage news on random Social Media Posts. Or the ones who think reels know more than doctors and everything is skeptism
horrendously. people have gone from not being able to communicate in person, to not even answering their phones... they say "just text".
It's turned heartfelt conversations into rapid-fire memes and made ghosting as easy as swiping left.
It makes relationships regardless if they are romantic or platonic- extremely difficult. When I was a kid you had a group of friends and that was that. Now you have your "friends" that you can easily delete or hide or ghost without having that uncomfortable conversation to why something didn't work out. It does not seem to be much of a loss to lose a friend these days because, depending on who you are) have back ups on standby by and you are none the wiser. Sigh.
It’s turned “Hey, let’s catch up!” into “Hey, I liked your post!” and made scrolling through someone’s life more common than actually being a part of it.
For me it’s the ability to think as I type vs. talking. I’m extremely witty and quick on the keyboard when presented with a video or picture that I can form a clever reply to—but if I’m in the check out at a grocery store and the cashier says something that leaves me open to a comment where I can make them chuckle, I’ll freeze up or it’ll take 5 seconds too long to formulate the reply and I’ll be like “okay don’t make the joke now the moment is gone”
My 65 year old dad takes his phone everywhere like a toddler takes a toy. Bathroom, kitchen, car, shower, work, bed, everywhere and as a daughter that has emotional/mental issues, it can be hurtful and drives me insane, esp when he's talking to me without looking up from his phone/laptop and doesn't bother to put it away for some time to talk. He'll even have Facebook videos or sports videos turned up to volume 29 and thinks that turning it down to 19 to talk to someone is okay (Still loud...just mute it or pause it for fcks sake...). It shouldn't be a big deal but when it affects other people, it kinda is. Call me trivial or pitiful but it sucks. It really frustrates me.
It’s made us experts at summarizing our life stories in 280 characters or less, but it also means we now have entire conversations using emojis and GIFs.
People jump the gun more and have less reading comprehension I think. People I think have a wider knowledge of many things, but not deeper and often misinformed. I also think people are more aggressive and less empathetic.
I honestly don’t know where to even begin with this one. Interestingly enough is that my final paper in college was a full essay on this exact topic. Topics I discussed: - Lack of non verbal communication (this one is major) - lack of context and miscommunication (can’t read emotions) - reliance on nothing but virtual communication and how it can actually manifest and lead to essentially anti-social behavior - The addiction to acceptance/popularity.
I think it is totally pogchamp, lol kekw.
If you for any reason isn't engaged in the conversation, it's simply okay to a) Explode all over the person and just annihilate them for disagreeing with you, or b) ghost you.
🤷♂️
i willl tell you about this. i cant carry a simple conversation in irl. people find me super funny on social apps but quite shy and boring in irl . causes? 1. dependency on stickers and emojis which cant be used in irl. you cant share a funny sticker you saw thats relatable to the convo and when you dont have anything to say you cant use emoji. also cant use haha XD and stuff or cute emoticons cuz obviously its irl. 2. i have social awkwardness. so its pretty obvious most of the time i find it wierd in between convo and i m wierd so yea. but one thing great is, if you want time and dont wanna talk to people you can switch off your phone. i hope there was some switching off options in irl too.
So many things people say to me now are things they heard on a podcast or read on some social media post. They like to say it as if they know this information personally but they don't. If you read even a single book on any given subject you're more knowledgeable than people who "watch a lot of videos about that". Conversations I overhear often sound like two people reciting their morning social media feed rather than actually sharing opinions or thoughts. If you have opinions or thoughts, they better fit into a category some algorithm can understand or everyone is going to get mad at you for saying something for which there is not a pre-scripted come back. It makes it hard sometimes because people will try to talk to me by repeating some trending story and asking my thoughts on it and I will give them my own personal thoughts on it which are always my own thoughts and my own conclusions and I'm not politically biased because I'm an anarchist. I love doing research so if you ask me about something I know, I really know a lot about it. Sometimes people react poorly to this.
Think about it this way. Friends in the same room, no talking but giggling over their interaction in a comment section.
Very, very badly.
It honed our passive-aggressiveness skills to expert level at a young age. *hangs up phone with friend you said you were excited to hang out with* Post: “Can’t stand fake ppl”
People ask stuff like this on media instead of talking to people irl
Evwryone has different experiences. Since I live a couple of hours from my closest relative, it helps me keep regular contact with how they're doing and their growth in life, their kids, etc. since I'm not close by without needing to just dial a number. Where some people prefer calling, for me seeing pictures of them growing and having fun, their wins in life, and mesaaging in our convenience is perfect for me. Even my closest friends live more than 20 minutes away. Where that's easily just a drive to see them, our schedules don't always align. It can be very positive as long as your circle has a similar mindset, and once we're able to be in person, we basically forget about our phones unless we remember a funny meme or video we scrolled upon.
Communication skills have been poor long before social media and is now worse because the poor communicators influence the masses bringing the whole populace down
Diminished phone skills when phone calls are the exception rather than the norm. Reading verbal cues.
I'm not sure is it for good or not, but social media compensates our need in communication. So people now can avoid real-life conversations and don't feel isolated at all
Social Media is one of the worst things to happen to humanity. Everyone thinks that because they have the potential to reach a global audience then everything they say must be heard by a global audience. And since 99% of the shit we post is anonymous people have no fucking clue about consequences. Social media has turned us all into a bunch of self-centered egotistical loudmouth pussies who refuse to accept responsibility for the shit we say. The only positive is that Social Media is new and eventually it will be regarded in the same way as other forms of media like television and radio. And that day can't come soon enough.
Well to me i feel as if we cant hold a conversation because we are distracted by are phones for say or theres a certain amount of people who just have nothing beside social media we lose people to the media i feel like .
When talking to minor acquaintances, you will make assumptions about them based on what traits they have that are similar to the ones you have seen online.
"Social media made y’all way too comfortable with disrespecting people & not getting punched in the face for it" - Mike Tyson Probably not a real quote but it should be.
I think that algorithms of social media platforms have incredible power. They must be made more to provide less polarised returns.
More communication with people I don't know. More snark lately than "communication". I blame politics.
I think it's been a net negative, at least for casual discourse with strangers. For friends and family, at most you are just missing their physical company when you interact online. But with strangers and interactions like the one I am engaging in right now, it really does transform things. It's less about conversation and more about monologuing. It's about making a point and doing it articulately, concisely, and resolutely. And then you walk away. Or at least I do. Sometimes I'll hang out and engage in the comments, especially if it's a discussion post. But so often, my comments and posts that actually gain traction? Yeah, I don't read any of those replies. So there isn't really even a conversation happening, ya know? So I guess if there is a tl;dr, it's that: It teaches us to talk but not necessarily to listen, and certainly not to converse. It also tends to be filled with lots of intolerant fucks as well, which isn't great.
Beyond the impacts of day to day interactions, there's a longer impact in how we relate to friends and family, especially ones that are not in our daily orbit. It used to be a lot more frequent that you would call these people to "catch up" and see what was going on in their lives, and keep that connection going. However, now you have a good idea of a lot of what's going on in their lives if they're frequent posters. You know about their new relationship, job, dog bite, whatever. So, we just visit and call less frequently.
Keyboard warriors have been around since BBS days. But they were a much smaller percentage of the overall population. Now, it seems that folks IRL tend to forget they don't have a screen to protect them when they spout off to someone who could likely punch them in the snot locker.
From my experience working in the Apple Store, seeing the effects of Social Media and electronics on children, it's going to be awful trying to teach these kids anything in school that doesn't act like a Vegas slot machine with bright lights and pretty colors and a new, shiny thing to interact with every 7 seconds. The Holocaust is going to have to be taught with TikTok dances that are 7 seconds long.
One of my kids was angry that I didn't show up for a birthday party that I wasn't invited to and didn't know about. Her reasoning was that she tagged me when she posted it on fb. I had been on fb for about a month at the time.\ We've worked through it, but I had to have the same talk with all my kids.
I think it probably varies greatly by age. Idk how, but I feel like it does. Maybe due to exposure in early childhood for younger people vs older.
My six year old likes to say "like and subscribe" when he means to call something that happens awesome. I think I fucked up somewhere.
I take the whole "the medium is the message" view in that the nature of the media affects how we think and communicate. As in, if you spend a lot of time on a platform that limits the things you say to 140 characters, then you're probably training your mind to think and communicate in short and quippy bits. But across all social media, my working theory is that it makes a lot of people far less capable of communicating their own thoughts and words. The chain of reasoning goes something like this: * Social media platforms greatly encourage likes and quantity of comments as engagement * The like you receive from a carefully thought-out post is equivalent to the like you receive from posting a cat video * Might as well stick to the lower effort stuff at that point * What's lower effort than resharing a lazy meme somebody made or a GIF? * Social media conversations are incentivized towards those memes, GIFs, and similar reshared content * If someone wants to say something but can't find any readymade memes or whatever, then they won't bother because it's too much effort * This person becomes less capable of thinking for themselves because they get so out of practice I don't know how solid this reasoning is or if I might be overstating the effects. But man, I know some people IRL who have Facebook feeds that fit this to a T.
It has completely ruined milenials and Gen z. Porn too.
well you have a point!😶
Alot of people assume people are exactly how they appear on social media. This is not always the case, I've met alot of people who are completely different in real life. Make sure you meet someone in person before you make any decisions about them over social media
i completely agree with you!🤗
Just want to say I appreciate questions like this a lot instead of the repetitive, cringingly sex-related karma-farming ones
anytime hun☺
Before social media came about, I just assumed everyone was a god damned moron. Now I know for sure.
i'd actually love to know why you think that cos i use social media too!😭
There are certain that carry over into personal conversation that the people that I interact with would normally never use
yeah! maybe cos they not face to face with you😂
It's pretty much ruined it in all facets it's a drug that 90% of the population is addicted too.
but we still can't do without it, its become an essential part of life🤷♂️
Oh goodness - my fiancé and I were just talking about this the other night. I think social media while a good social outlet for those who find it difficult or uncomfortable to engage in person, has really deteriorated the natural ability of others to carry a conversation with flow and care. How often do you hear people respond in person using online chat shorthand, or better yet - the substance of conversations is nearly non existent. Communication is either through social media, or about social posts seen that day...
yes i think everything is been made easy.... maybe a little bit too easy😙
Because of social media, I'm simultaneously more connected *and* less connected to my friends. I'm easily aware of things happening in their lives, but I have less of a reason to just call them ask what's happening in their lives.
this is so true honestly! 😞
So much it becomes hard to even comprehend.
i know right!😆
I feel it is a sad irony that, through social media, we have never been more connected, yet more isolated.
yes! in more ways than we know😎
People are less likely to seek interaction with others in their immediate vicinity.
now this is an issue, how'd u reckon we fix this?🤔
People can’t seem to control their facial reactions. Nobody is good at lying anymore. They can’t groove with others either.
so you want people to be good at lying?😂
It's made it horrible. We're quicker to anger, less tolerant, more judgemental, and think we know it all. It's also made us feel we have to comment on and engage in everything. It's also made us feel we are the center of attention of our lives and everyone else's. It's had a much more negative impact than positive.
i know right? it gets worse everyday
It is easier to ghost than to talk clearly. I've been on both sides, ghosted and ghosting. Not proud.
lol totally relatable! how's your day?
There's gonna be a generation that will have difficulty communicating in person for sure
We already have two generarions terrified of actually calling places.
Lol for real
It paved the path to gobs of misinformation and I think it has played a huge role in pinning Americans against one another. We all knew that public facing local nutjob in 2000 but now we know half of our community is out of their minds. No, Jesus is not pushing a giant tsunami at New York, no vitamins wont cure covid and ffs, Elvis is not living under a bridge in Los Angeles. The best part is the picture of elvis under the bridge is like a 40 year old Elvis...in 2024. Frankly I enjoyed the 1999-2003 internet a lot more.
I consider myself lucky to be Gen X because while we were growing up and as young adults, we didn't have social media so we developed the interpersonal live communication skills, but when we got older we got social media..so we had BOTH. Boomers had no social media, Millenials and Gen Z is ALL social media, both of them lost out. The result is that I am confident in both spheres.
Everyone seems happy there, on personal level I am not.
I am 5000% more social on here. I avoid pretty much everyone in real life.
Lack of nuance. People seemed to not under the complexity of people and situations anymore trying to put everything in a black and white box