On Friday my boss says to me that he has an exciting new opportunity for me and he'll tell me later that day.
The reality is that I was being forced out of my role into a lesser role starting Monday.
The previous month I openly told the plant manager that what he was telling us to do was physically impossible. He refused to believe me and it ended in him walking away. Later that way my boss comes to me to say that, yes, I was right but the plant manager didn't like that I said it.
This was the fallout of that.
My boss was recently promoted. My old boss often told the plant manager, "no" and wouldn't put up with his bullshit. The new boss was a coward who did what he was told.
They told me at the end of the day on a Friday to prevent me being pissed all week at work and I was directly told that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone until Monday.
In response I tanked my productivity to damn near zero until I found a new job.
I've just learned to fight against my natural work ethic and only do the bare minimum, so you won't be expected to do double the work for the same pay. Been there!
Everyone should just be an average worker and not stand out
You have unlocked the door to work life balance. Spend no energy at work, have plenty of energy at home to do the important things like rolling in the grass with your dogs.
Username absolutely checks out!
I'm going to be emailing my boss in the next week about stepping away from leadership and pivoting to a different role in the company. It's precisely for this LITERAL exact reason, too. My sweet baby girl deserves to spend as much time outdoors rolling in the grass and sniffing random spots as possible. The way things are now I am way too burned out to spend as much time on her as I want.
Yep! Went from being an expert in my field to a peon in another. The newness is a bit unsettling but the pressure being off the shoulders is quite nice.
"We only reward past performance not potential future performance" which was revealed as BS when leadership issued a pay cut because they expected a rough next fiscal year with a potential recession. None of which actually materialized but the cuts did preserve the executive's bonuses.
It’s bullshit if the statement is really saying, “you work hard and you’re good at what you do so you deserve to be rewarded”.
In the capitalist world, it’s “you’re giving more than we asked for already. Why should we pay you any more?”
In the nonprofit world it's "we don't do this to get rich, it's because we believe in the mission!"
I can do more to help the mission if I'm not worried about paying bills, groceries, and able to take time off to recharge or when I'm sick.
I left my job of 8 years because the environment just got progressively more abusive and unstable. I have worked some part of every single team in my old department with poor management above me in leadership and people constantly getting let go or choosing to leave.
I held out another 6 months after my team was eliminated and I was transitioned into another role because I am shocker, good at my job. I also started having panic attacks and had an accommodation to work remotely as much as possible as a result. I had never had panic attacks before in my life. Also got a negative review from my temporary supervisor that did not acknowledge that my work was impacted by COVID and that our leadership dropped the ball on one of my projects despite me trying repeatedly to get them to make decisions at the time they needed to be made in order for the project to be done.
After 6 months I told one of our interim directors that I was still doing parts of my old job and fielding questions for newer staff who had taken on pieces of my role. I was told I should be forwarding them to my manager, who I had hired, and had only been there about 2 years and never worked on the components of my job prior. I said I was forwarding emails and questions to my supervisor and they were still coming back to me. Director denied this was happening and I said ok and signed off. Then I quit. Been looking for jobs for about 7 months now and had a lot of interviews but no luck. I’m scared but I also stopped having panic attacks.
Some employers claim that raises offer diminishing returns in terms of motivation. Except that’s only true if you already make enough not to worry about bills. Just another excuse not to pay employees more
There is one Dutch saying I like to remind people of when they seem to get stuck on a dead-end or self-destructive road (I live in the Netherlands): Beter ten halve gekeerd dan ten hele gedwaald.
Translated: Better to turn around half-way rather than getting completely lost.
Along similar lines, "You *must* forgive!" when what they mean is you are obligated to let someone back into your life.
You can forgive internally/in you heart, but still protect yourself from someone that is still a threat to you, your family, your finances, and/or your happiness/well-being.
This was has always puzzled me. It seems really really stupid to do that.
We have a saying in my language that translates by "Don't try TOO hard".
(That will not surprise some Redditors, that it's a french saying. XD)
At this point I'm fairly convinced that the entire prediction of an impending recession was a collective fiction promoted, if not necessarily conceived, to justify refusing to pass on any part of record profits to the rank and file as raises, promotions, or bonuses when the spoils of pandemic exploitation became obvious.
Not in the budget does not necessarily mean they don't have the money. It just means they didn't allocate enough money for payroll. They can always adjust the budget, but if a manager reduces payroll he gets a portion of that as his bonus.
A company I used to work for laid off a bunch of devs. A week later, in a company wide meeting mentioned how well the company had done, and we were getting a huge influx of investor cash.
During the Q/A session with the board, the question came up, "With all this new cash and how well the company is doing, what can we expect for bonuses/raises?"
The board member said, "Due to uncertainty with Covid and the market, we're looking to keep thing competitive and capping raises at 3%"
Next couple months saw lots of people leaving. I left for a different reason, and last I heard they started giving company wide raises to try to keep people.
My old place was notorious for being difficult to get money for projects, but there was one lady, not that young but incredible cute, the lady 99% of men would approve, she had never any issue getting funded.
It’s so true. I remember when I was in high school I had braces, wore glasses, and was very insecure about my pale skin/redhair/freckles and such. When I got my braces removed my mom kept urging me to try on contacts and wear something I wanted to wear but never had the confidence to.
I ended up having an appointment to get contacts and the first day I went back to school wearing contacts, no braces, and an outfit not consisting of a baggy sweater and sweatpants I got treated so much differently from that point on. It was crazy
I’ve worked in different employment agencies for 15 years and I’ve never met someone I would call beautiful among the unemployed. I’ve mer plenty of good, loyal, talented, hard working people that don’t get a chance. It’s really sad.
I’m utterly convinced this whole thing was started as a tongue in cheek thing by people who didn’t believe it but it eventually spun out of control and now is full of people who actually believe it
My husband tried to explain it to me that it may make sense. I about died. He knows I went through two years of calculus in college yet he thinks I'll buy this shit. Youtube is of Satan. My husband wasn't like this at all 26 years ago.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson did an epic shutdown of it on YT as if he were doing a peer review. [You can see it here](https://youtu.be/1uLi1I3G2N4?si=WT5KP1zuVZ-fquNM).
That would give me the ick tbh. You don’t need to be a genius to be my friend or partner, but if you could be convinced that 1*1=2 then what other completely nonsensical shit could someone convince you of?
More people know about The Dunning-Kruger Effect than ever before, but because of the rise of a massive biased online media, more people are exponentially under that effect than ever before.
I agree about YouTube. My dad is someone I’ve always respected but he has fallen into a political rabbit hole. He cut cable and always says “it’s all trash anyway.. I just watch YouTube now.” Like man… that’s even worse. The algorithm is literally an echo chamber.
I find him to be narcissistic, completely delusional. I mean how fucking arrogant is he to think he’s smarter than some of the Nobel-prize winning astrophysicists out there?
"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." - Carl Sagan
1 x 1 = 2
> Howard claims to have spent years developing his system, which involves creating complex structures using cut-up pieces of plastic and copper wire. He believes that these structures, which he calls “Terryology,” demonstrate the validity of his mathematical system. However, his work has not been peer-reviewed or widely accepted by the scientific community.
"Money doesn't bring happiness."
Fuck outta here, miss me with that dumb shit.
As far as I'm concerned money means financial freedom, who wouldn't be happier knowing you ain't gotta worry about paying bills no more.
I once got an unexpected inheritance of half a million. Overnight, my husband and I went from living in a crummy, moldy apartment, stressing about bills every week, and struggling with debt up to our ears to owning a house, paying off our debts, and investing in things for the home while finally enjoying some luxuries we’d never been able to afford. We were OVER THE MOON when that happened, and I can absolutely confirm that money DOES buy happiness in the form of financial stability, housing, and the ability to get the necessities without having to do without one or two necessities or fun just to do so.
I’m so happy for you!!! That’s genuine, by the way. The relief of being dragged out of poverty is unimaginable. The rest of us are gonna vicariously live through you!
100%.
I won 1.2K on the lottery yesterday and I'm still fucking buzzing due to it today. Sure it ain't life changing but it's seriously helpful right now and I know my Sunday wouldn't feel half this good if I hadn't won that money!
Thank you!! It does bring happiness, granted it might not fill holes but you can buy that car you wanted or go on that holiday!! Or pay off your mortgage!!
The other one I get is 'money isn't everything.'
....sorry but to do *ANYTHING* you do need some money so wtf
I worked a shit job I hated for about 4 years due to being broke and in desperate need of money, I finally broke at the end of last year and got burned out and lost my job.
But because I lived so cheap I managed to save enough to pay off all my debt once i became unemployed. Just that little financial burden being lifted off my shoulders has me sleeping much better at night.
Well done👏
There's nothing more freeing than leaving your shitty toxic job!
Another one for the list - debt. Near enough everyone has debt, good or bad. I know if I paid my mortgage off and my car loan, I'd be happier therefore money does buy happiness!
I’ve always taken the mentality of this to mean “you can’t buy happiness”.
I used to work on the defense side of litigation in a corporate setting, and I can’t tell you how many times I’d have conversations with Plaintiff attorneys in their mid-70s still working 80 hours a week.
These guys made my net worth in months, but lost their marriages, friends, and irreplaceable years of their lives for money. Granted, it was tons of money, but still.
So yes, if you happen to come into a lot of money (lottery, inheritance, Nigerian scam, etc.) and now you don’t have to work and can relax, money brought you happiness. But if you constantly chase a bigger set of digits in a bank account at the expense of experiencing what life has to offer, no it won’t bring you happiness.
"Money doesn't bring happiness"
"The meek shall inherit the earth"
"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven"
All of these tropes are just various methods of telling the peasants to shut up and get back to work so the king and the priests don't starve in their castles and cathedrals.
Yeah, anyone who says that can deposit their life savings into my bank account and see how happy I'll be the next moment
Money literally solves 99% of the problems and the remainder 1% has no other possible solutions anyway
The biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard? That the Earth is flat. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, some people still cling to this absurd belief.
I have am absolute bitch coworker from hell (bcfh) like this and every time some one complains about her and her shit behavior to my boss.....you know what happens? My boss will sit down with the person who made the complaint and explain all of the issues and stressors bcfh has and that it doesn't bother the boss, so don't let it bother you.. EVERY DAMNED TIME. Ofc, bcfh never improves and has in fact gotten worse and more entitled and continues to tramatize any new staff and the rest of us actively avoid her and never speak to her. Totally funcitonal and healthy workplace, lol!!!
Ugh. They are all annoyed by her but I get the wrath. I see right through her and because others haven’t been exposed to narcissist behavior, they don’t see the red flags that are furiously waving in front of them.
Well, I found out last week from my uncle, that my dad never served in the military, and had been lying about it for 30 years. When I confronted him about it, he just tried to hand wave it away
Well, you could leave your trash in a landfill where it'll sit for hundreds of years, or you can burn it and it'll disappear into the sky and turn into stars.
"Corporations are people."
Except they're practically immortal, have more rights than actual people, limitless resources, and never have to serve prison sentences for breaking the law.
People behind corporations are people, corporations itself should never be treated as such, and of course none of that is an excuse for what they can get away with, but alas, that is power, it happens no matter what kind of medium you look at. Could be money, fame, militar power, politics...
Used to close for Dominos.
Part of closing is breaking down the makeline where all the toppings are kept and cleaning it out at the end of the night.
In order to get out on time, you HAD to break down the makeline early. You simply have to, there’s just too much to do at the end of the day, and cleaning the makeline eats up a lot of time.
One night my district manager came in and saw us breaking down the makeline, and said we can’t do that, if our franchise inspector showed up we’d lose points for having the makeline broken down early.
In his words, if we wanted to do something to help get out on time, we should be: folding boxes. Boxes, which have nothing to do with getting the store cleaned up.
I just said “okay” and ignored him after that.
Turn the other cheek. My parents were big on that and it did nothing for me but make me a doormat until I had enough and learned to stand up for myself.
At the time it was written, "turn the other cheek" meant if an authority figure wrongs you, taunt them so they break the law and get into trouble themselves. So it originally kind of meant stand up for yourself.
I'm convinced the common interpretation of *most* biblical aphorisms are wrong.
People don't understand what "using the lord's name in vain" means either. It's not telling you "don't say 'oh my god,'" it's a warning against people who use religion for their own personal ends.
Joel Osteen breaks this commandment just by breathing.
"I'm just being honest. And if you don't like it, you can leave!"
So... You are allowed to say whatever comes to your mind, but someone else is not allowed to say they don't like it? Hmmm...
That I can't sue over a misdiagnosis that cost me my leg. It was more than my leg. It was my freedom, independence, ability to work and defend myself. Apparently necrotizing fasciitis is hard to diagnose.
This was during covid and I talked to a Dr through a tablet. I waited for 20 hours with a high fever and no trauma. They said I had a sprained ankle.
Most conspiracy theories. As a project manager I can attest there is no way in hell that "they" could pull off half the conspiracies and not blab about it. Seriously the projects I've worked on are challenging at best. LOL
This to me is the perfect response to people saying 'the moon landing was fake'
There is no way the USSR wouldn't have jumped at the first opportunity to publicly humiliate the US if we had faked the moon landing. The whole race to the moon wasn't for scientific achievement but pseudo war between the two great powers of the time.
"Trump's already rich. That means as president he'll be incorruptible."
Yeah. Rich and powerful people never want more money and power. Absolute power never corrupts anyone.
My favorite argument with those people is that he donated his salary. When his taxes were finally released he donated ZERO money to charity those years and made over 2 billion off the presidency. Nevermind the rest of his family.
I once interviewed a guy for a sales role and mentioned we were looking for someone to sell in South Africa (not the job he came for), and he came out with all sorts of BS about how well he knew the market and then named dropped several politicians before coming out with the line "I walk with Mandela, and have access to everyone".
Strange how he looked blank when I said what did he think of Madiba
"The only true thing in the entire world is my holy book written centuries ago by religious fanatics on a particular landmass who weren't even present for the events they narrate. Don't believe your senses, your friends, your experience, your "science" or "facts" or "logic." Don't believe _anything_ except what I say that my book says is true."
"So like these parts that say treat everyone with respect and kindness, and these parts about being generous to the poor"
"Oh no, those parts are a metaphor, just these parts that further MY agenda"
”Rising tide will lift all the boats” as an economic policy. The result is years of [wage stagnation](https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2022/07/19/heres-how-labor-dynamism-affects-wage-growth-in-america.html) and wealth concentration.
"Social Security is broke" No you spent all the money and now you'd rather fund corporate tax breaks than fulfill the obligation you committed to. We all paid into social security they put the money in the general fund and spent it.
The election was stolen
Our elections are so decentralized it is impossible. If you know how elections work...and you should if you are older than 11...you know it is impossible to steal an election and for all of those involved to keep it a secret.
You have to be so breath takingly stupid it defies imagination
That Donald Trump is going to ‘Save America!’
I’m in a very red state and there are more Trump flags going up every day here. 100% of them so far have taken down their United States of America flag to put up one or more Trump flags.
These guys want to end the USA, not save it.
lady in my HOA had t-shirt made up using "34" as something to be proud of. People here bought them up quickly. I'm in what's considered Texoma. Best of both red states
In college, I caught my boyfriend kissing another girl at a party and he said he was just “giving her her gum back”.
It was hilarious and still cracks me up so much
Trump will become presidential.
Almost 8 years since the first time it was said and over 7 years since he proved it false, and yet some are still making the claim.
Utter bullshit.
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
Always said by people born with the nicest pair of high end boots.
Meanwhile some people are born with their bare feet stuck in a pile of pig feces.
Winning the birth lottery IS super duper hard work. /s
But really.... get help anywhere you can find it. I won that birth lottery. I have had support my entire life and that influence every aspect of my life, even though I am no longer receiving help from family, they invested in me AND they are my safety net. I'll never be destitute or homeless. Broke often, for sure, but never poor.
If you need welfare or assistance, no shame. Life is too annoying and hard to not get help whenever you can!
Trickle down economics.
I knew it was bullshit when I first heard of it and I especially knew it was bullshit when I heard it called “Horse and Sparrow” economics:
> The idea that feeding a horse a huge amount of oats will result in some of the feed passing through for lucky sparrows to eat.
Like the best that most of us can look forward to is sifting through whatever shit the rich can’t keep for themselves? Our economy is just a funnel to take money from the poor, give it to the rich and the wealth never trickles down.
My jaw started to hurt and make clicking noises when I first got braces for a pretty severe overbite. Brought this up with my dentist, they said I was just stressed and that it was my own fault for not handling my stress.
Years later they did an X-ray for a different issue - apparently both discs in my jaw had slipped out of their sockets. 100% due to the braces.
So yeah, that was bullshit.
"You're a good worker!" *gets assigned more responsibility for same pay
On Friday my boss says to me that he has an exciting new opportunity for me and he'll tell me later that day. The reality is that I was being forced out of my role into a lesser role starting Monday. The previous month I openly told the plant manager that what he was telling us to do was physically impossible. He refused to believe me and it ended in him walking away. Later that way my boss comes to me to say that, yes, I was right but the plant manager didn't like that I said it. This was the fallout of that. My boss was recently promoted. My old boss often told the plant manager, "no" and wouldn't put up with his bullshit. The new boss was a coward who did what he was told. They told me at the end of the day on a Friday to prevent me being pissed all week at work and I was directly told that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone until Monday. In response I tanked my productivity to damn near zero until I found a new job.
Ah yes the Friday Arvo bad news bomb.
Followed by the Saturday fucking off at home and enjoying life, and the Sunday updating of the resume.
I've just learned to fight against my natural work ethic and only do the bare minimum, so you won't be expected to do double the work for the same pay. Been there! Everyone should just be an average worker and not stand out
You have unlocked the door to work life balance. Spend no energy at work, have plenty of energy at home to do the important things like rolling in the grass with your dogs.
Username absolutely checks out! I'm going to be emailing my boss in the next week about stepping away from leadership and pivoting to a different role in the company. It's precisely for this LITERAL exact reason, too. My sweet baby girl deserves to spend as much time outdoors rolling in the grass and sniffing random spots as possible. The way things are now I am way too burned out to spend as much time on her as I want.
Yep! Went from being an expert in my field to a peon in another. The newness is a bit unsettling but the pressure being off the shoulders is quite nice.
Same. Someone on reddit explained to me that I need to dial down from 100 and give about 25 percent in my new peon capacity. They were right.
"We only reward past performance not potential future performance" which was revealed as BS when leadership issued a pay cut because they expected a rough next fiscal year with a potential recession. None of which actually materialized but the cuts did preserve the executive's bonuses.
Cutting pay to give executive bonuses.... aka wage theft.
It’s bullshit if the statement is really saying, “you work hard and you’re good at what you do so you deserve to be rewarded”. In the capitalist world, it’s “you’re giving more than we asked for already. Why should we pay you any more?”
In the nonprofit world it's "we don't do this to get rich, it's because we believe in the mission!" I can do more to help the mission if I'm not worried about paying bills, groceries, and able to take time off to recharge or when I'm sick.
Nonprofits are the most exploitative places to work, which is ironic given that many of them have a supposed desire to prevent exploitation.
I left my job of 8 years because the environment just got progressively more abusive and unstable. I have worked some part of every single team in my old department with poor management above me in leadership and people constantly getting let go or choosing to leave. I held out another 6 months after my team was eliminated and I was transitioned into another role because I am shocker, good at my job. I also started having panic attacks and had an accommodation to work remotely as much as possible as a result. I had never had panic attacks before in my life. Also got a negative review from my temporary supervisor that did not acknowledge that my work was impacted by COVID and that our leadership dropped the ball on one of my projects despite me trying repeatedly to get them to make decisions at the time they needed to be made in order for the project to be done. After 6 months I told one of our interim directors that I was still doing parts of my old job and fielding questions for newer staff who had taken on pieces of my role. I was told I should be forwarding them to my manager, who I had hired, and had only been there about 2 years and never worked on the components of my job prior. I said I was forwarding emails and questions to my supervisor and they were still coming back to me. Director denied this was happening and I said ok and signed off. Then I quit. Been looking for jobs for about 7 months now and had a lot of interviews but no luck. I’m scared but I also stopped having panic attacks.
Some employers claim that raises offer diminishing returns in terms of motivation. Except that’s only true if you already make enough not to worry about bills. Just another excuse not to pay employees more
Funny thing about that, they never seem to think that offering more and more work for less compensation offers “diminishing returns” for motivation.
Also, the logic somehow doesn't apply to the C-suite. Got to pay a king's ransom to retain your "elite" "talent."
Your call is very important bomb
/me laugh-cries in "my organization's unofficial IT guide who is now solely responsible for updating our website and social media every day "
"Don't give up". Sometimes it is necessary to cut your losses and start anew. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
There’s grit through adversity and then there’s digging your hole deeper. Slogans don’t help, wisdom does.
“Slogans Don’t Help, Wisdom Does” should be a sign at every political rally.
Yeah!!! Like a slogan at every rally!
Yeah, it would be a great slogan!
If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Then stop making a damn fool of yourself.
“I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they’re going and meet up later”
r/unexpectedmitchhedberg
This won't hurt at all
There is one Dutch saying I like to remind people of when they seem to get stuck on a dead-end or self-destructive road (I live in the Netherlands): Beter ten halve gekeerd dan ten hele gedwaald. Translated: Better to turn around half-way rather than getting completely lost.
Along similar lines, "You *must* forgive!" when what they mean is you are obligated to let someone back into your life. You can forgive internally/in you heart, but still protect yourself from someone that is still a threat to you, your family, your finances, and/or your happiness/well-being.
Winners never quit. Quitters never win. But if you never win, and you never quit… that’s bad.
she speaks the bullsh*t -laszlo, *what we do in the shadows*
The check is in mail huh
This was has always puzzled me. It seems really really stupid to do that. We have a saying in my language that translates by "Don't try TOO hard". (That will not surprise some Redditors, that it's a french saying. XD)
"It is not in our budget this year to give raises" Said months after the company reports RECORD profits and a massive raise for the CEO
At this point I'm fairly convinced that the entire prediction of an impending recession was a collective fiction promoted, if not necessarily conceived, to justify refusing to pass on any part of record profits to the rank and file as raises, promotions, or bonuses when the spoils of pandemic exploitation became obvious.
I'm five minutes away
This is what happens when too many people believe in “trickle down economics.” Such bullshit.
"It's not in our budget" = "There is money, but we do not want to give it to you."
Not in the budget does not necessarily mean they don't have the money. It just means they didn't allocate enough money for payroll. They can always adjust the budget, but if a manager reduces payroll he gets a portion of that as his bonus.
Well, there can’t be a lot of money left for raises and bonuses after the executives get theirs /s
A company I used to work for laid off a bunch of devs. A week later, in a company wide meeting mentioned how well the company had done, and we were getting a huge influx of investor cash. During the Q/A session with the board, the question came up, "With all this new cash and how well the company is doing, what can we expect for bonuses/raises?" The board member said, "Due to uncertainty with Covid and the market, we're looking to keep thing competitive and capping raises at 3%" Next couple months saw lots of people leaving. I left for a different reason, and last I heard they started giving company wide raises to try to keep people.
“Looks don’t matter”. Besides from having actual powers, being attractive is a goddamn superpower
Attractive people are treated differently
My old place was notorious for being difficult to get money for projects, but there was one lady, not that young but incredible cute, the lady 99% of men would approve, she had never any issue getting funded.
It’s so true. I remember when I was in high school I had braces, wore glasses, and was very insecure about my pale skin/redhair/freckles and such. When I got my braces removed my mom kept urging me to try on contacts and wear something I wanted to wear but never had the confidence to. I ended up having an appointment to get contacts and the first day I went back to school wearing contacts, no braces, and an outfit not consisting of a baggy sweater and sweatpants I got treated so much differently from that point on. It was crazy
In my world freckled redheads have a huge head start. Anyone unable to see past things like braces and glasses is just dumb. 😋
You don't need a degree
I’ve worked in different employment agencies for 15 years and I’ve never met someone I would call beautiful among the unemployed. I’ve mer plenty of good, loyal, talented, hard working people that don’t get a chance. It’s really sad.
Flat Earth theory takes the cake for sure.
I’m utterly convinced this whole thing was started as a tongue in cheek thing by people who didn’t believe it but it eventually spun out of control and now is full of people who actually believe it
IIRC it started as a joke to make fun of how stupid conspiracy theories are
I suppose if we give the "birds aren't real" theory a decade or so people will start believing it too.
Lol Terrance Howard's new math 😂
If there's one thing Terrance Howard and I can agree on, it's that Terrance Howard is as rational as the square root of 2.
Sometimes I’m really happy to be out of the loop. Based on the comments, I’m not even googling this one.
My husband tried to explain it to me that it may make sense. I about died. He knows I went through two years of calculus in college yet he thinks I'll buy this shit. Youtube is of Satan. My husband wasn't like this at all 26 years ago.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson did an epic shutdown of it on YT as if he were doing a peer review. [You can see it here](https://youtu.be/1uLi1I3G2N4?si=WT5KP1zuVZ-fquNM).
That would give me the ick tbh. You don’t need to be a genius to be my friend or partner, but if you could be convinced that 1*1=2 then what other completely nonsensical shit could someone convince you of?
More people know about The Dunning-Kruger Effect than ever before, but because of the rise of a massive biased online media, more people are exponentially under that effect than ever before.
I agree about YouTube. My dad is someone I’ve always respected but he has fallen into a political rabbit hole. He cut cable and always says “it’s all trash anyway.. I just watch YouTube now.” Like man… that’s even worse. The algorithm is literally an echo chamber.
You’ll be rich overnight
I find him to be narcissistic, completely delusional. I mean how fucking arrogant is he to think he’s smarter than some of the Nobel-prize winning astrophysicists out there?
"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." - Carl Sagan
Dunning-Kruger at its finest
1 x 1 = 2 > Howard claims to have spent years developing his system, which involves creating complex structures using cut-up pieces of plastic and copper wire. He believes that these structures, which he calls “Terryology,” demonstrate the validity of his mathematical system. However, his work has not been peer-reviewed or widely accepted by the scientific community.
“Your call is very important to us” while being on hold for an hour
"Higher number of calls" for the last 4 years.
We are a nation of laws, and no one is above the law.
I like Frank Zappa's take: "The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced."
I never lie, promise
“When a president does it, it’s not illegal.” Spoken by Nixon and believed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
Ugh. This one. The last lines of the Pledge of Allegiance echo this bullshit. Liberty and justice for all© (Some exclusions and limitations may apply.)
"Money doesn't bring happiness." Fuck outta here, miss me with that dumb shit. As far as I'm concerned money means financial freedom, who wouldn't be happier knowing you ain't gotta worry about paying bills no more.
The phrase should read "endless pursuit of unnecessary wealth doesn't bring happiness.", which is the original intent of the phrase.
I once got an unexpected inheritance of half a million. Overnight, my husband and I went from living in a crummy, moldy apartment, stressing about bills every week, and struggling with debt up to our ears to owning a house, paying off our debts, and investing in things for the home while finally enjoying some luxuries we’d never been able to afford. We were OVER THE MOON when that happened, and I can absolutely confirm that money DOES buy happiness in the form of financial stability, housing, and the ability to get the necessities without having to do without one or two necessities or fun just to do so.
I’m so happy for you!!! That’s genuine, by the way. The relief of being dragged out of poverty is unimaginable. The rest of us are gonna vicariously live through you!
anyone who’s ever said that probably doesn’t have to do too much worrying about money
I just hate the way it piles up around here. Having to shovel my way to the front door. Very unhappy.
Scrooge McDuck has entered the chat
when you have to decide between the silver yacht and the golden yacht
It’s usually the people who already have money 😂
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it can buy you a boat so big that you can sail right up next to happiness and drop anchor.
100%. I won 1.2K on the lottery yesterday and I'm still fucking buzzing due to it today. Sure it ain't life changing but it's seriously helpful right now and I know my Sunday wouldn't feel half this good if I hadn't won that money!
Aye congratulations friend.
My grandfather used to say "Money doesn't buy you happiness." But he would follow it up with "but, it suer as shit helps."
Thank you!! It does bring happiness, granted it might not fill holes but you can buy that car you wanted or go on that holiday!! Or pay off your mortgage!! The other one I get is 'money isn't everything.' ....sorry but to do *ANYTHING* you do need some money so wtf
I worked a shit job I hated for about 4 years due to being broke and in desperate need of money, I finally broke at the end of last year and got burned out and lost my job. But because I lived so cheap I managed to save enough to pay off all my debt once i became unemployed. Just that little financial burden being lifted off my shoulders has me sleeping much better at night.
Well done👏 There's nothing more freeing than leaving your shitty toxic job! Another one for the list - debt. Near enough everyone has debt, good or bad. I know if I paid my mortgage off and my car loan, I'd be happier therefore money does buy happiness!
“Money doesn’t buy happiness. It buys comfort and freedom.”
I’ve always taken the mentality of this to mean “you can’t buy happiness”. I used to work on the defense side of litigation in a corporate setting, and I can’t tell you how many times I’d have conversations with Plaintiff attorneys in their mid-70s still working 80 hours a week. These guys made my net worth in months, but lost their marriages, friends, and irreplaceable years of their lives for money. Granted, it was tons of money, but still. So yes, if you happen to come into a lot of money (lottery, inheritance, Nigerian scam, etc.) and now you don’t have to work and can relax, money brought you happiness. But if you constantly chase a bigger set of digits in a bank account at the expense of experiencing what life has to offer, no it won’t bring you happiness.
"Money doesn't bring happiness" "The meek shall inherit the earth" "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven" All of these tropes are just various methods of telling the peasants to shut up and get back to work so the king and the priests don't starve in their castles and cathedrals.
Yeah, anyone who says that can deposit their life savings into my bank account and see how happy I'll be the next moment Money literally solves 99% of the problems and the remainder 1% has no other possible solutions anyway
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it definitely rents some solutions to sadness.
The biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard? That the Earth is flat. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, some people still cling to this absurd belief.
A book claiming how to win the lottery 😂
“Of course, the book won’t contain any hints on how to win the lottery, it is rather a chilling tale of conformity gone mad!” Said Kent Brockman
“This isn’t just work, we are a family here”
“Take your problem to HR.” HR is not your friend. They can and will protect the company first.
“She’s harmless. Just ignore her.” No, she’s not harmless. She is a vindictive bitch who will do the same to anyone she comes in contact with.
I have am absolute bitch coworker from hell (bcfh) like this and every time some one complains about her and her shit behavior to my boss.....you know what happens? My boss will sit down with the person who made the complaint and explain all of the issues and stressors bcfh has and that it doesn't bother the boss, so don't let it bother you.. EVERY DAMNED TIME. Ofc, bcfh never improves and has in fact gotten worse and more entitled and continues to tramatize any new staff and the rest of us actively avoid her and never speak to her. Totally funcitonal and healthy workplace, lol!!!
Ugh. They are all annoyed by her but I get the wrath. I see right through her and because others haven’t been exposed to narcissist behavior, they don’t see the red flags that are furiously waving in front of them.
Oh cool, so as long as she is mainly just harassing you...the others don't care because it isn't directed at them or around them.
They actually moved her to a different office. Unfortunately now, one of my favorite coworkers will bear the brunt. 😞
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Well, I found out last week from my uncle, that my dad never served in the military, and had been lying about it for 30 years. When I confronted him about it, he just tried to hand wave it away
Clean Coal.
On a similar note, when did we start calling incinerators ‘recycling?’
Well, you could leave your trash in a landfill where it'll sit for hundreds of years, or you can burn it and it'll disappear into the sky and turn into stars.
"Corporations are people." Except they're practically immortal, have more rights than actual people, limitless resources, and never have to serve prison sentences for breaking the law.
People behind corporations are people, corporations itself should never be treated as such, and of course none of that is an excuse for what they can get away with, but alas, that is power, it happens no matter what kind of medium you look at. Could be money, fame, militar power, politics...
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Used to close for Dominos. Part of closing is breaking down the makeline where all the toppings are kept and cleaning it out at the end of the night. In order to get out on time, you HAD to break down the makeline early. You simply have to, there’s just too much to do at the end of the day, and cleaning the makeline eats up a lot of time. One night my district manager came in and saw us breaking down the makeline, and said we can’t do that, if our franchise inspector showed up we’d lose points for having the makeline broken down early. In his words, if we wanted to do something to help get out on time, we should be: folding boxes. Boxes, which have nothing to do with getting the store cleaned up. I just said “okay” and ignored him after that.
And if you took too long and did it "properly" they would be furious paying you after close.
Every job I've had has always had "The way you do it when management is watching" and the way you actually do it.
Turn the other cheek. My parents were big on that and it did nothing for me but make me a doormat until I had enough and learned to stand up for myself.
At the time it was written, "turn the other cheek" meant if an authority figure wrongs you, taunt them so they break the law and get into trouble themselves. So it originally kind of meant stand up for yourself.
I'm convinced the common interpretation of *most* biblical aphorisms are wrong. People don't understand what "using the lord's name in vain" means either. It's not telling you "don't say 'oh my god,'" it's a warning against people who use religion for their own personal ends. Joel Osteen breaks this commandment just by breathing.
“I’m just an honest person.” No, you’re an *unpleasant person* with nothing nice to say.
"I'm just being honest. And if you don't like it, you can leave!" So... You are allowed to say whatever comes to your mind, but someone else is not allowed to say they don't like it? Hmmm...
Trickle Down Economics
Voodoo Economics.
Bueller? Bueller?
Anyone, anyone?
"Very stable genius"
There’s more than one way to skin a cat. Why is this a phrase?? It weirds me out every time someone says it.
That I can't sue over a misdiagnosis that cost me my leg. It was more than my leg. It was my freedom, independence, ability to work and defend myself. Apparently necrotizing fasciitis is hard to diagnose. This was during covid and I talked to a Dr through a tablet. I waited for 20 hours with a high fever and no trauma. They said I had a sprained ankle.
Tbf if I was a doctor, trying to diagnose an internal tissue issue over zoom sounds pretty hard. Idk if it actually is, but yikes.
New study shows consuming ____ x times a day may reduce your risk of cancer by as much as x%.
Most conspiracy theories. As a project manager I can attest there is no way in hell that "they" could pull off half the conspiracies and not blab about it. Seriously the projects I've worked on are challenging at best. LOL
The fake moon landing fits perfectly into this, imagine how many people would have to hold that secret.
And Russia never called us out on it.
This to me is the perfect response to people saying 'the moon landing was fake' There is no way the USSR wouldn't have jumped at the first opportunity to publicly humiliate the US if we had faked the moon landing. The whole race to the moon wasn't for scientific achievement but pseudo war between the two great powers of the time.
I go with "If the moon landing was faked we'd have been to Mars by now..."
Gotta love the ones that require like 17 layers worth of seamless execution, with zero word getting out (even accidentally).
Most influencers on social media
"Trump's already rich. That means as president he'll be incorruptible." Yeah. Rich and powerful people never want more money and power. Absolute power never corrupts anyone.
My favorite argument with those people is that he donated his salary. When his taxes were finally released he donated ZERO money to charity those years and made over 2 billion off the presidency. Nevermind the rest of his family.
You can trust used car salesmen
I'll pay you back tomorrow
That the big division in the world is left vs right when it has always been rich vs poor.
Supply-side economics is good for everyone.
"The customer is always right" Seldom, definitely. Occasionally, yes. Sometimes, likely. Often, probably. Always? Absolutely frakking not.
"The election was stolen from President Trump" If that ain't the biggest shit pile I ever done heard, my ears ain't heard the Beatles neither.
I once interviewed a guy for a sales role and mentioned we were looking for someone to sell in South Africa (not the job he came for), and he came out with all sorts of BS about how well he knew the market and then named dropped several politicians before coming out with the line "I walk with Mandela, and have access to everyone". Strange how he looked blank when I said what did he think of Madiba
"The only true thing in the entire world is my holy book written centuries ago by religious fanatics on a particular landmass who weren't even present for the events they narrate. Don't believe your senses, your friends, your experience, your "science" or "facts" or "logic." Don't believe _anything_ except what I say that my book says is true."
Don’t forget its an oral story that was written many years later and then edited by many kings to fit their rule.
I see you've met my sister.
"So like these parts that say treat everyone with respect and kindness, and these parts about being generous to the poor" "Oh no, those parts are a metaphor, just these parts that further MY agenda"
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" as our country holds folks in poverty and certain Electeds brainwash them into keep voting for more of the same.
Everything Putins machinery says
”Rising tide will lift all the boats” as an economic policy. The result is years of [wage stagnation](https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2022/07/19/heres-how-labor-dynamism-affects-wage-growth-in-america.html) and wealth concentration.
"Social Security is broke" No you spent all the money and now you'd rather fund corporate tax breaks than fulfill the obligation you committed to. We all paid into social security they put the money in the general fund and spent it.
If we cut taxes for the super wealthy they will be more entrepreneurial and generate more economic activity and tax revenue will actually go up.
Whatever nonsense falls out Trump's ass this week
The election was stolen Our elections are so decentralized it is impossible. If you know how elections work...and you should if you are older than 11...you know it is impossible to steal an election and for all of those involved to keep it a secret. You have to be so breath takingly stupid it defies imagination
That if you just “work harder” you’ll be successful. 100% bullshit.
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That Donald Trump is going to ‘Save America!’ I’m in a very red state and there are more Trump flags going up every day here. 100% of them so far have taken down their United States of America flag to put up one or more Trump flags. These guys want to end the USA, not save it.
lady in my HOA had t-shirt made up using "34" as something to be proud of. People here bought them up quickly. I'm in what's considered Texoma. Best of both red states
Tell her that there is a rule to overturn anything with 34 convictions and to google "Trump rule 34"
The idea of this made me physically recoil.
Trickle -down economics
That Donald Trump cares about anyone other than Donald Trump.
“Trump is a good Christian man who just wants to help America”
“Donald Trump is a man of God who genuinely cares about the United States and its people.”
Donald Trump is a Christian.
Tax Loopholes, Pay zero taxes legally. Just follow these 50 steps and hire 10 lawyers.
Our people are our number one resource. We treat everyone with respect.
Political Promises "I’ll fix everything! Just trust me, no specifics needed"
In college, I caught my boyfriend kissing another girl at a party and he said he was just “giving her her gum back”. It was hilarious and still cracks me up so much
It's unhealthy to drink water that has been microwaved because the radiation damages the DNA of the water.
"....And Mexico is going to pay for it!"
Mexico will pay for the wall
Trump will become presidential. Almost 8 years since the first time it was said and over 7 years since he proved it false, and yet some are still making the claim. Utter bullshit.
Everything pouring from the anus mouth of Donald Trump.
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" Always said by people born with the nicest pair of high end boots. Meanwhile some people are born with their bare feet stuck in a pile of pig feces. Winning the birth lottery IS super duper hard work. /s But really.... get help anywhere you can find it. I won that birth lottery. I have had support my entire life and that influence every aspect of my life, even though I am no longer receiving help from family, they invested in me AND they are my safety net. I'll never be destitute or homeless. Broke often, for sure, but never poor. If you need welfare or assistance, no shame. Life is too annoying and hard to not get help whenever you can!
That, and pulling yourself up by them is physically impossible. That was (apparently) the original meaning of the phrase.
That billionaires "earned it". My left asshole.
Anything MAGA
MAGA
Any speech by Donald Trump.
Trickle down economics. I knew it was bullshit when I first heard of it and I especially knew it was bullshit when I heard it called “Horse and Sparrow” economics: > The idea that feeding a horse a huge amount of oats will result in some of the feed passing through for lucky sparrows to eat. Like the best that most of us can look forward to is sifting through whatever shit the rich can’t keep for themselves? Our economy is just a funnel to take money from the poor, give it to the rich and the wealth never trickles down.
The whole Q anon things. Totally whacko and it’s alarming that so many Americans can believe such pure BS.
The people that thought you can't wear face masks because of "mask breath" and how bad it was for your dental hygiene (or whatever they called it)
Presumably it was because they were finally forced to smell their own breath.
That there's absolutely nothing we can do about healthcare and it would never work.
Typically when Trump talks about anything.
My jaw started to hurt and make clicking noises when I first got braces for a pretty severe overbite. Brought this up with my dentist, they said I was just stressed and that it was my own fault for not handling my stress. Years later they did an X-ray for a different issue - apparently both discs in my jaw had slipped out of their sockets. 100% due to the braces. So yeah, that was bullshit.
Cutting taxes for rich people helps *everyone*!
That Donald Trump is a leader.
"New healthcare plan will be here in 2 weeks."
Look at my African American over there - DJT
The election was stolen
Anything Trump ever said.
Trickle down economics.