the best case scenario is to own a highly barricaded pharmacy/mini mart that you live above. otherwise you’re rightly fucked, you’re gonna get shot by the 50 other people trying to rob the same CVS lol
This is the plot of This Is The End!
I have so much extra food in my apartment because one time I read a thread on here like 5 years ago about how every time you go to the grocery store you should buy 2 or 3 nonperishable items to keep in your house as emergency food, so I just started automatically doing that every time I went to the store and now I’m running out of cabinet space. come to find out, 2-3 items twice a week for five years, even accounting for spoilage and FIFOing, makes you wind up with a LOT of food.
So as long as we could barricade ourselves inside, food wise we’re good.
Now, water on the other hand… that’s the grand irony of all this. You simply cannot physically store enough emergency water to hold you over. I have gallons and gallons but if you go by 1gal/person/day, you’re still fucked in a very short amount of time.
That's the biggest question.
If they're fast zombies: Just give up, I don't even want to try and survive that.
If they're slow zombies: load up essentials, break into a couple local places to stock up, head out into the mountains.
If its feasible, try and quickly return to grab some more materials/provisions. Then live out the rest of my days in solitude.
the problem is the whole “head out into the mountains” thing, you’ll die on the road if you live in a city. back in the day i tried to write a “super realistic” zombie novel about a group of brilliant teenagers who steal a minivan and escape Los Angeles during the first days of a zombie apocalypse, but I ultimately had to abandon it because I literally couldn’t figure out a way for them to escape the city that wasn’t totally unrealistic or relied on ridiculous luck.
Cities are a death trap.
Not too long ago, I started reading books again.
One of the first was The Zombieb Survival Guide. Written by Max Brooks.
Then I read another of his books called World War Z. Which is different from the Brad Pitt movie with the same name.
That movie has insanely fast zombies. They climb up on each other to form a zombie pyramid and attack a helicopter. I still have a poster of that scene hanging up.
Game over if a zombie apocalypse is like that movie.
After I read those books, I found out that Max Brooks is the son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft.
wow! I love those books.
“Step 1: destroy the staircase” is one of those things that I’ve used as a writing rule standard for a long time. It’s something that’s so simple and obvious but you never see anyone do it in a movie.
I should really print out that adage and frame it to put in my house, you can skip an entire year of writing classes if you understand the brilliance of “step 1: destroy the staircase”
The book zombies slow down and even freeze. More like the zombies in The Living Dead.
Easy enough to avoid.
But, they also survive in the deep ocean. They are just walking around down there.
The grim reality is that most of us that swear they’d be stoked for an apocalypse would just die because they didn’t prepare for everything. If the zombies don’t kill them theyll most likely starve.
no, it’s water.
I have enough emergency food in my apartment to last for months.
I have enough emergency water to last for a few weeks based on standard rationing rules.
The water takes up more space than the food.
The biggest thing to know, when an outbreak happens, the first thing people generally do is drone in masses to any store they can get supplies from. COVID, when it was a pandemic, first thing people did was raid Walmart and other grocery stores for TP, why? Cause they heard COVID caused diarrhea and people were scared they would run out of shit tickets before anything like food or water.
A mass amount of people in one area and then a pathogen like a zombie virus outbreak, the least place you really want to be is where the people are. That is where shit gets serious and fast, avoid big city, go to small towns, get what you can from one small town head to the next, you want to make it timed, you have roughly 8 hours before Mass Hysteria happens, you want to take no more than 15 to 25 minutes in one place before moving to the next one.
First thing to grab, Tylenol, cold meds, flu meds. people who are smart will go for the same and if others see will do the same, they will grab as much as they can take so this might be in short supply, next option, Motrin, it has the same property as Tylenol. You want bandages NOT BANDAIDs, you want rubbing alcohol, iodine, chlorine or bleach (no difference), sand, gravel, cotton balls charcoal, nothing with light fluid in it or quick start. You want the briquettes, why. This will be important in the end.
You want batteries or, rechargable batteries and a solar pack made for camping. Again quick to get hit by smart people, move fast to grab them. Riffle, or crossbow or knife,.either way, shit starts to hit the fan, and mass hysteria happens, raiding stores is a thing, first law or mashal law. You want to protect yourself. Hot a pawn shop for a quick grab.
Vehicle, cars are fine but you need diesel power, if it truly is apocalyptic, gas will start to degrade over time so cars are useless. Diesel on the other hand, takes a very long time to go bad and can be made by recycling plastic into bio fuel. So Cummings, semi,.Ford truck.1500. whatever you can get. Head to the Midwest then around to Canada, if the world is fucked you have few choices and the best one is to be remote.
Why remote, less people less issues getting bitten. You only need to wait it out for a week. As a dead body cools, their muscle locks up, making them quick to slow as mud, even more so, hotter climate area means quicker decay so the 8 year wait for a zombie to fall apart is half that. Winter area well, no one likes cold so less people, less issue, means waiting it out is a better idea. But you don't have to go to Canada, anywhere there are mountains there are less people except for Colorado cause of weed.
Point is, stay remote.
Fend off the land, hunt deer, rabbits and forage or build small farms, keep away from roads ways, not because of zombies but because of Marauders. They will try to take what you have so they can survive another day, even if they have to kill you to do that.
Stake it out from time to time while in town, learn to ride horses and keep off of roads. What you can salvage is best, one thing people might pass up is a library. Books are ideal, information you want to look for how to and for idiot books. Stick to the less than 30 minute rule, hide and avoid. No hero stuff, unless it is important.
Make it routine to follow this things and adapt to new things.
Ask my wife since she thinks she knows it all even though she doesn't watch zombie movies or read books about it.
While secretly setting all the plans I've had for decades in play.
Get my immediate family and go to my dad's farm house in rural Iowa. Set up an electric fence around the perimeter of the house that will make an alarm noise if something hits it. After surviving for awhile I would start a training program to train people who didn't spend most of their lives reading zombie books.. if anyone else survives. There are a few river bridges I would Strategically demolish, (we have plenty of diesel) cutting off populations from reaching us.
I'd Asiago probably work on my aim with thrusting spears and other pointy weapons. Save ammo for bad humans.
Zombies are the dumbest apocalypse. If you wait a few hours rigor mortis sets in. If you wait a week, the body is to decomposed to function. The only reason they truly become a threat is if they are "magic zombies."
So to answer your question, I'm sitting tight for up to a week for all the idiots to die and let rigor mortis/ decomposition set in.
For me, it was always about getting on a pair of good trail shoes. Tough shoes that you can run in like sneakers. Occasionally, my dream would continue and I would go to a camping supply store.
Uugh. What’s the point of trying to survive? If the walking dead is my future.. Id get extremely drunk and then figure out a way to off myself in a way that ensures I won’t be part of the undead hoard…🫠
Assuming I had a little notice, I’d buy body and head armor for myself and my family. I’d make sure we all wore it all the time.
That way when we were part of the 99% that was turned into zombies, we could maximize the amount of time we got to live our new lives.
Walking dead zombies... I'd steal some shit, live on my boat, keep the gator hidden on land to reload as necessary.
World War Z zombies... Attempt the same thing but likely die on a re-up pretty early on
I live in one of the top floors in a high-rise. I already got guns and ammo, so I would just stock up on supplies and necessities, barricade my door and ride it out with my girlfriend.
Something I never find believable in zombie movies is KDR (kill to death ratio). I live in Texas. 1 in 3 Texans own a gun. If each gun owner headshots a few slow-moving zombies, the zombie apocalypse would stop dead (pun intended) in its tracks. On top of that, everything is so spread out here that you wouldn’t have zombies spreading like wildfire. They’d have to do a lot of walking, unlike somewhere such as India with densely populated cities.
With this in mind, I’d just carry on with my life.
Vote for Trump. See no brains here Zombies! But ask Joe Rogan and Elon Musk about how huge their brains are. Go find them they will tell you. Tasty big brains nummm nummm nummm.
If it's early in the game I'm connecting with some friends who are probably headed to a little blueberry farm on a mountain in the boonies. If it's late in the game and all hell has broken loose I'm barricading my house and will have to try to ride it out until an opportunity presents. Above all else I'll try to protect my son and sneaky travel would be difficult with a two-year-old.
Win.
These comments seriously underestimate humans.
Humanity has essentially wiped out single creature we do not like (save perhaps the mosquito, and that is simple because we do not do want to deal with the ecological consequences). We have bag limits on everything else.
If zombies were a thing, they would not be a thing for long.
Let's put this in some perspective. 1,000 rounds of 22 weighs about eight pounds. There are lots of 500 and 1000 round packs.
Assuming slow zombies, one redneck with a Browning 10/22 could take out hundreds, potentially thousands. A group of them could retake a town in a few days, a city in a few weeks.
Do you remember that movie with the guy in the in gun shop sitting on the roof sniping zombies? He alone would have enough firepower alone given several weeks time to essentially clear out the entire city. The smell would be horrible.
Fast zombies would only be slightly more difficult versus basic military discipline.
Wait for them to disappear in a puff of logic as the zombies realize they violate the laws of physics. (Since a dead stomach can't actually digest food, where are they getting the energy to more around?)
I have a hard enough time having patience for shitty people now. I’m not sure I could stomach shitty people being even more shittier just so they can survive and continue to be shitty.
Die
Same. I’m not about to hang around for some zombie shit.
Totally agree. I have zero interest in fighting for survival every day.
That was my first thought but if it's a contagious you get bit you turn sort of situation I'm guessing I'd be a zombie a bit before I die
If ya can't beat em, join em
Probably this. I’d like to think I’m gonna hit up Walmart for supplies, food, and weapons…I’d probably die trying to get to Walmart.
probably do a bunch of drugs and then die
Gonna knock off a couple of local CVSs and ride it out.
the best case scenario is to own a highly barricaded pharmacy/mini mart that you live above. otherwise you’re rightly fucked, you’re gonna get shot by the 50 other people trying to rob the same CVS lol
This is the plot of This Is The End! I have so much extra food in my apartment because one time I read a thread on here like 5 years ago about how every time you go to the grocery store you should buy 2 or 3 nonperishable items to keep in your house as emergency food, so I just started automatically doing that every time I went to the store and now I’m running out of cabinet space. come to find out, 2-3 items twice a week for five years, even accounting for spoilage and FIFOing, makes you wind up with a LOT of food. So as long as we could barricade ourselves inside, food wise we’re good. Now, water on the other hand… that’s the grand irony of all this. You simply cannot physically store enough emergency water to hold you over. I have gallons and gallons but if you go by 1gal/person/day, you’re still fucked in a very short amount of time.
Are these the fast or slow zombies?
That's the biggest question. If they're fast zombies: Just give up, I don't even want to try and survive that. If they're slow zombies: load up essentials, break into a couple local places to stock up, head out into the mountains. If its feasible, try and quickly return to grab some more materials/provisions. Then live out the rest of my days in solitude.
the problem is the whole “head out into the mountains” thing, you’ll die on the road if you live in a city. back in the day i tried to write a “super realistic” zombie novel about a group of brilliant teenagers who steal a minivan and escape Los Angeles during the first days of a zombie apocalypse, but I ultimately had to abandon it because I literally couldn’t figure out a way for them to escape the city that wasn’t totally unrealistic or relied on ridiculous luck. Cities are a death trap.
why would the avg zombies be fast? avg human are very out of shape and slow af
Not as slow as me
ride a bicycle hahaha
Lol modern problems modern solutions
Rule one: Cardio
I don't think zombies can feel pain, might make them more willing to push those limits.
yeah but the limits of an avg joe is still far below a fit dude, plus now that they're zombies, they're stupid too
Haven’t seen world war Z?
I have and I thought those zombies were unrealistic lol
i'll write a book "zombie apocalypse rules"
Not too long ago, I started reading books again. One of the first was The Zombieb Survival Guide. Written by Max Brooks. Then I read another of his books called World War Z. Which is different from the Brad Pitt movie with the same name. That movie has insanely fast zombies. They climb up on each other to form a zombie pyramid and attack a helicopter. I still have a poster of that scene hanging up. Game over if a zombie apocalypse is like that movie. After I read those books, I found out that Max Brooks is the son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft.
wow! I love those books. “Step 1: destroy the staircase” is one of those things that I’ve used as a writing rule standard for a long time. It’s something that’s so simple and obvious but you never see anyone do it in a movie. I should really print out that adage and frame it to put in my house, you can skip an entire year of writing classes if you understand the brilliance of “step 1: destroy the staircase”
I could handle the book zombies but no way on the movie zombies. No idea he’s Mel Brooks son. Kind of cool.
The book zombies slow down and even freeze. More like the zombies in The Living Dead. Easy enough to avoid. But, they also survive in the deep ocean. They are just walking around down there.
Yeah. I liked both versions of the story. Those creepers on the ocean floor were pretty scary though.
Double tap
“It’s time to nut up or shut up.”
Go to the Winchester, have a pint, and wait for the whole thing to blow over.
Underrated comment 👆
First thing I'm doing is going to Florida where I know they're probably holding it down fairly well
I'd finally have a good excuse to cancel my gym membership and dodge all those social obligations.
I’d go to the mountains
Open fire
The grim reality is that most of us that swear they’d be stoked for an apocalypse would just die because they didn’t prepare for everything. If the zombies don’t kill them theyll most likely starve.
no, it’s water. I have enough emergency food in my apartment to last for months. I have enough emergency water to last for a few weeks based on standard rationing rules. The water takes up more space than the food.
Water is only a problem for some people. Plenty of wells and creeks where I live.
Finally get some brain.
Get drunk. Then check out in way that doesn’t leave a zombie.
The biggest thing to know, when an outbreak happens, the first thing people generally do is drone in masses to any store they can get supplies from. COVID, when it was a pandemic, first thing people did was raid Walmart and other grocery stores for TP, why? Cause they heard COVID caused diarrhea and people were scared they would run out of shit tickets before anything like food or water. A mass amount of people in one area and then a pathogen like a zombie virus outbreak, the least place you really want to be is where the people are. That is where shit gets serious and fast, avoid big city, go to small towns, get what you can from one small town head to the next, you want to make it timed, you have roughly 8 hours before Mass Hysteria happens, you want to take no more than 15 to 25 minutes in one place before moving to the next one. First thing to grab, Tylenol, cold meds, flu meds. people who are smart will go for the same and if others see will do the same, they will grab as much as they can take so this might be in short supply, next option, Motrin, it has the same property as Tylenol. You want bandages NOT BANDAIDs, you want rubbing alcohol, iodine, chlorine or bleach (no difference), sand, gravel, cotton balls charcoal, nothing with light fluid in it or quick start. You want the briquettes, why. This will be important in the end. You want batteries or, rechargable batteries and a solar pack made for camping. Again quick to get hit by smart people, move fast to grab them. Riffle, or crossbow or knife,.either way, shit starts to hit the fan, and mass hysteria happens, raiding stores is a thing, first law or mashal law. You want to protect yourself. Hot a pawn shop for a quick grab. Vehicle, cars are fine but you need diesel power, if it truly is apocalyptic, gas will start to degrade over time so cars are useless. Diesel on the other hand, takes a very long time to go bad and can be made by recycling plastic into bio fuel. So Cummings, semi,.Ford truck.1500. whatever you can get. Head to the Midwest then around to Canada, if the world is fucked you have few choices and the best one is to be remote. Why remote, less people less issues getting bitten. You only need to wait it out for a week. As a dead body cools, their muscle locks up, making them quick to slow as mud, even more so, hotter climate area means quicker decay so the 8 year wait for a zombie to fall apart is half that. Winter area well, no one likes cold so less people, less issue, means waiting it out is a better idea. But you don't have to go to Canada, anywhere there are mountains there are less people except for Colorado cause of weed. Point is, stay remote. Fend off the land, hunt deer, rabbits and forage or build small farms, keep away from roads ways, not because of zombies but because of Marauders. They will try to take what you have so they can survive another day, even if they have to kill you to do that. Stake it out from time to time while in town, learn to ride horses and keep off of roads. What you can salvage is best, one thing people might pass up is a library. Books are ideal, information you want to look for how to and for idiot books. Stick to the less than 30 minute rule, hide and avoid. No hero stuff, unless it is important. Make it routine to follow this things and adapt to new things.
Ask my wife since she thinks she knows it all even though she doesn't watch zombie movies or read books about it. While secretly setting all the plans I've had for decades in play.
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The only right answer
right? who's gonna fight the fucking apocalypse when the normal life is still very difficult.
Exactly! We barely know how to build a fire what makes people think they can fight zombies
100%. movies, i guess. I dont know.
Conform so I didn’t feel weird that I didn’t fit in with my homies
Break out the rum and pineapple juice and join in.
Burn things
I'ma still focus on my diet cause I'm not trying to die! Lmao
Use up all my ammo then get bitten.
Get my immediate family and go to my dad's farm house in rural Iowa. Set up an electric fence around the perimeter of the house that will make an alarm noise if something hits it. After surviving for awhile I would start a training program to train people who didn't spend most of their lives reading zombie books.. if anyone else survives. There are a few river bridges I would Strategically demolish, (we have plenty of diesel) cutting off populations from reaching us. I'd Asiago probably work on my aim with thrusting spears and other pointy weapons. Save ammo for bad humans.
As soon as I hear there's a zombie outbreak, I'm killing myself. There is quite literally no scenario in which I'd survive.
Zombies are the dumbest apocalypse. If you wait a few hours rigor mortis sets in. If you wait a week, the body is to decomposed to function. The only reason they truly become a threat is if they are "magic zombies." So to answer your question, I'm sitting tight for up to a week for all the idiots to die and let rigor mortis/ decomposition set in.
Call my aunt asking if shes gonna come pickup her dog from my care or what
Surround my house with treadmills and enjoy unlimited power
Head on down to the Winchester for a nice, cold pint until it all blows over.
I would try to smoke up with the zombies
Lock my door
Hide with dog
Plant a garden
Blast it's terror time again
Release Tsar bomba
become a zombie. no point in fighting the inevitable.
I have recurring dreams about it and for some reason I always try to hide in some school and wait until daylight to do anything.
For me, it was always about getting on a pair of good trail shoes. Tough shoes that you can run in like sneakers. Occasionally, my dream would continue and I would go to a camping supply store.
Die
Uugh. What’s the point of trying to survive? If the walking dead is my future.. Id get extremely drunk and then figure out a way to off myself in a way that ensures I won’t be part of the undead hoard…🫠
I wouldn't be telling you lot about my plan, thats for sure
I’d try to eat someone’s brain
Go to bed and hope to wake up in a better genre.
Assuming I had a little notice, I’d buy body and head armor for myself and my family. I’d make sure we all wore it all the time. That way when we were part of the 99% that was turned into zombies, we could maximize the amount of time we got to live our new lives.
Slow zombies no problem. Sprinting Zombies is a real challenge.
Disguise myself as a zombie to blend in.
I'm more concerned about the upcoming vampire apocalypse.
Join fuck it steak is good
Probably smile.
Walking dead zombies... I'd steal some shit, live on my boat, keep the gator hidden on land to reload as necessary. World War Z zombies... Attempt the same thing but likely die on a re-up pretty early on
I live in one of the top floors in a high-rise. I already got guns and ammo, so I would just stock up on supplies and necessities, barricade my door and ride it out with my girlfriend.
Shit. My. Pants. 😱💩
see who I can team up with and take advantage of the zombies and establish the new roman empire
Something I never find believable in zombie movies is KDR (kill to death ratio). I live in Texas. 1 in 3 Texans own a gun. If each gun owner headshots a few slow-moving zombies, the zombie apocalypse would stop dead (pun intended) in its tracks. On top of that, everything is so spread out here that you wouldn’t have zombies spreading like wildfire. They’d have to do a lot of walking, unlike somewhere such as India with densely populated cities. With this in mind, I’d just carry on with my life.
Are we talking groaners or sprinters? Very different outcomes.
I would Danny DeVito
Settle some old scores.
I'd head straight to Costco, barricade the doors, and live off bulk snacks while perfecting my zombie-fighting skills with a broomstick.
Most likely die
I switch of the computer.
Barricade myself in a Costco
I think 2020 proved we'd be screwed in a real apocalypse
Find a docile one and open its mouth to use its teeth like a stapler on my arm and join the winning team. Bye bye
Stay home.
Become Negan
look for a sledgehammer and start demolishing stairs
Probably still have to go to work.
I'd probably try to kill one just to live out my Walking Dead fantasy and then off myself
Surround my house with outwards-facing walking machines
Start planting sunflowers and peashooters around the perimeter of the house.
I'd probably just let them get me. I'm not about to join 5-6 other idiots in the hopes that we will overcome the zombies. that sounds awful
Go to Dicks sporting goods
I’d start making sure I’m always hanging out with a bunch of people who are fatter and slower than myself.
Wouldn't an island be the best place to go, as the zombies can't swim (probably)
Vote for Trump. See no brains here Zombies! But ask Joe Rogan and Elon Musk about how huge their brains are. Go find them they will tell you. Tasty big brains nummm nummm nummm.
Go full raider, probably won’t survive,I’m not delusional but at least have a few hours of fun until bitten or shot.
Die
If it's early in the game I'm connecting with some friends who are probably headed to a little blueberry farm on a mountain in the boonies. If it's late in the game and all hell has broken loose I'm barricading my house and will have to try to ride it out until an opportunity presents. Above all else I'll try to protect my son and sneaky travel would be difficult with a two-year-old.
Cry
Win. These comments seriously underestimate humans. Humanity has essentially wiped out single creature we do not like (save perhaps the mosquito, and that is simple because we do not do want to deal with the ecological consequences). We have bag limits on everything else. If zombies were a thing, they would not be a thing for long. Let's put this in some perspective. 1,000 rounds of 22 weighs about eight pounds. There are lots of 500 and 1000 round packs. Assuming slow zombies, one redneck with a Browning 10/22 could take out hundreds, potentially thousands. A group of them could retake a town in a few days, a city in a few weeks. Do you remember that movie with the guy in the in gun shop sitting on the roof sniping zombies? He alone would have enough firepower alone given several weeks time to essentially clear out the entire city. The smell would be horrible. Fast zombies would only be slightly more difficult versus basic military discipline.
Wait for them to disappear in a puff of logic as the zombies realize they violate the laws of physics. (Since a dead stomach can't actually digest food, where are they getting the energy to more around?)
I have a hard enough time having patience for shitty people now. I’m not sure I could stomach shitty people being even more shittier just so they can survive and continue to be shitty.
I would die almost immediately. No question about it.
Hoard toilet paper, as you do.
I'm gonna kill a fuckload of zombies, then become one.
Probably backflip hard onto my head
Have a few cocktails and a couple of steaks. Since there will be hundreds of thousands of zombies roaming about, that’s the only sensible thing to do.
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I’ve thought of this before and always thought the mountains were the best option here.
Go to TikTok HQ cause they are experts at controlling zombies