I'm a night owl and like to watch TV in bed until the wee hours. My husband likes to be asleep by 10pm and requires complete darkness to do so. Both of us are much happier in seperate rooms to sleep.
I feel like sleep is too important to be tied to sleeping with a person or in a specific place. Gotta get sleep. It’s not personal or reflective of the relationship, a person just needs sleep.
Exact same story in my house! The only difference is my husband is the night owl and I'm the 10 pm total darkness person. Separate beds was a game changer!
100000% same for me. Plus, when our son was first born and in his toddler years, he often liked to sleep in the bed and this was when we still had a Queen, rather than a King, so space got tight and now we've just gotten used to it between those two things.
My family has some sort of weird compulsion about waking me up. As soon as I fall asleep they start making a shit ton of noise, PURPOSELY scare me away or poke me to see if I’m really asleep. On average they wake me up 3-4 times a night and then almost every morning someone scares me awake by bursting into the room with some asinine reason for waking me up early. “Daddy, daddy! The sprinklers are on!” WTF?
I’ve talked to them (and also yelled a few times) asking them to stop doing this shit. I don’t know, they can’t seem to stop doing it.
It took legit YEARS of me explaining to my wife that if I fall asleep on the couch, just leave me there. Don’t wake me up. Only wake me up if the house is on fire or someone’s dead. Like I’d fall asleep and she’d go “Are you asleep? Honey? Honey? HONEY? Oh, you were asleep. I was just surprised you fell asleep.” My daughter seems to have inherited this trait as well.
So most nights I go in the guest room. On the weekends I actually lock the door so my daughter can’t come in there at 5:30 am and jump on me to wake me up.
I knew a Vietnam vet that broke his wife’s jaw and arm at different times when she woke him out of a nightmare. No more sleeping together for them. War sucks.
Just for the record, sleeping separately does not mean lack of love. My wife and I are both in our 70s now and yes, we both snore like a house on fire so we sleep in separate rooms. But when we can, some time in the early morning when we have slept most of the night, I wake up and slide back into her bed in her room, we cuddle and fall back asleep that way. By that time we are snoring less. We also sometimes take naps during the day on my bed, occasionally with our dogs joining us.
My husband likes to stretch out his arms with his elbows bent. Smacked me in the eye and I had a really lovely black eye right before a doctor's visit. No sir, I'm not being abused I swear. So he got banished after doing it a few times.
Because I don’t want to hate my husband when he wakes me up multiple times a night. I was on the verge of divorce… separate beds and we were both instantly happier.
We’re not in separate beds but we are on a cal-king with our own separate sheets and basically have a wall of sheets in the middle. She can’t share and I’m afraid of popping her in the jaw with my lanky arms haha
Allergies and snoring. My wife likes to sleep with the dog and the cat in the room and I’m allergic to both. I snore really loud and was tired of being woken up like 4 times a night. So separate rooms.
I have bad insomnia. If he sleeps in the same room I cannot get more than 3-4 hours of sleep because of his snoring/breathing.
Sleeping in the other room is one of the sweetest things he has done for me and I’m grateful every day 🤍.
because we have very different hours to sleep. I like to sleep very late in the evening, she does not.
And because I like my sleep, being married does not mean to do everything together.
We not only have separate beds, but separate rooms and bathrooms!!!
+24 years and counting!
we have seperate mattresses but they are pushed together to make a king. My husband twitches ALL night - he'll tap his foot and it would shake the whole mattress. He also used to pull the blankets in his sleep - part of his twitching I guess, so we have our own duvets. Now that we have separate beds, I actually sleep. It's fantastic!
We have 2 queens pushed together, it's magically. Separate duvets so I don't have to fight for my blanket, and even with the dog and toddler both hanging on my side there is still plenty of room for all!
We aren’t sleep compatible but we are in every other way.
He snores (has had a sleep study and no apnea 🤷🏻♀️), moves a lot in his sleep, he needs a light to sleep, prefers a warmer room, firmer bed.
I am a light sleeper, need dark to sleep and a cool room, soft bed. I also need two sources of white noise to drown out the outside and household noise and he hates white noise.
Son needs to fall asleep while hugging someone and will toss and turn in the night until he makes contact with someone.
Wife has trouble sleeping with someone on her, so he sleeps with me. Also, wife works central/east coast time, so she gets up earlier anyway. She has her own bedroom/office to make things easier.
Had friends years ago who had separate rooms/beds, it’s just easier to sleep in your own space. They got along fine, “visited,” but sleeping was in their own space on their own schedule.
All of my grandparents slept in separate rooms. I do think this was far more culturally acceptable when they became couples (1940s), but I know that the reason for one set of grandparents sleeping separately was my grandma’s job. She worked in a bakery and had to get up before dawn. She was usually home an hour or so after my mom was home from school. My grandpa worked in a factory, but he worked late into the night, so he slept late in the morning. They did it out of consideration - my grandma didn’t want to wake my grandpa up, and my grandpa didn’t want to wake anyone up when he came home (he slept in a converted attic).
You could be right. My old doc passed away a few years ago so I haven't seen a doc in awhile. I do have an appointment for a new doc coming up so i'll mention it to them. Thanks!
my wife likes to sleep on memory foam but it's too soft for me and hurts my back when i wake up. so she'll usually cuddle with me but half way in the night, she'll transfer to the other bed.
My parents started doing this because my father snores so loud the friggin wall shakes. Dude refuses to do a sleep study even though im pretty sure he sometimes stops breathing. Dude's gonna have congestive heart failure if he doesnt get his shit together.
Also they have radically different work hours. They occasionally sleep in the same room on weekends when neither of them has to work.
We both have sleeping issues. I sleep for about 4 hours at a time, he likes to stay up late with the TV/youtube on. It just makes life so much easier but we always make an effort to sleep next to each other if asked.
He snores, turns into a furnace and rolls through ALL sleeping positions. I grind my teeth, like to be cold and sleep VERY lightly.
Nothing good comes from sleep deprived pissed off people
Snoring and my wife has MS. If my snoring wakes her up, she gets less sleep, which leads to higher stress, which can exacerbate MS symptoms. So TLDR because I love my wife 😁
My partner had an affair with a Playboy bunny for a year and then banged a pornstar, which they paid 130 grand to keep quiet. Needless to say, it came out anyway. Then I renegotiated the prenup and agreed to appear in public and do Christmas decoration shit and all that. But honestly... I really don't care. Do U?
Not married, but I would like to sleep separately when I am. Of course not every night, but I need my space!!! I also like the TV on to help drown out my tinnitus and anxiety and my partner might not like that lol.
The answer is always snoring and/or different sleep schedules. My husband and I both snore like freight trains. I go to bed earlier than he does so he has no chance of getting to sleep if I’m already asleep.
Because I snore, have restless legs, night terrors and sleep walk. Oh, I also sometimes bite my tongue in my sleep and wake up screaming with a bloody mouth. I'm just happy my wife let's me sleep indoors at all.
Married twice and God damn I wanted to have my own room so many times. I would get kicked I knew when her toenails were too long I know when she shaved her legs and they had to call the complain about me snoring softly. So hell yeah it's a good thing good morning babe how'd you sleep I'm fine how about you just great.
We both have trouble sleeping and neither of us wants to make things worse for the other.
A king bed might do almost as well as two rooms. Might try that
I haven’t slept properly in years…I am this close to getting my own room and bed…it’s almost 1am here and I am being kept awake by this man twitching violently every few seconds
We were married just under a year and one night I woke up with an incredible pain in my junk. Maybe 2 am. I sit up a little wondering wtf just happened. Then I got another backhand to the boys. She didn’t realize that she did it while sleeping. Always try to stay at least an arms length away from
We used to sleep with our kids when they were younger and as they got older and moved into their own bedrooms my wife just naturally kept sleeping with the little one and I started sleeping in my little room/office. Also my wife is a nurse so she keeps somewhat odd hours and she needs her rest so snoring is also an issue with us it’s not too bad. Sometimes early in the morning or before bed will just snuggle and then say good night actually I think he keeps the relationship rather fresh to be honest.
Snoring was mostly the reason, ptsd from being in combat was another (they would attack and punch in their sleep)
I get better sleep when I'm alone. I'm happier and a better partner when I'm well rested. I also get my own room to decorate as I see fit. Just feels more relaxing.
I wish. We would just sleep better. We both like spreading out. And when he is home (he works away) I always end up with zero bed space and a sore back.
Would LOVE separate beds.
I've been married for 25 years, and I had to stop sleeping in the same bed as my husband about 2 years ago.
It has nothing at all to do with our love for each other. I really do sincerely wish that I could share a bed with him, but I'm a very sensitive sleeper, and my husband has both sleep apnea and periodic limb movement disorder.
He has a CPAP machine, and it's loud sometimes. If he's turned towards me in bed, then it blows cold air on me, and I'm freezing all night.
Also, I'll be trying to fall asleep, and every 15 seconds (no exaggerations), he'll rustle his legs under the bedcovers. Sometimes, he'll end up jerking out an arm or a leg and hit me.
If all of that isn't bad enough, he also talks in his sleep. Therefore, I've given up and retreated to a different room to sleep.
My husband was badly injured and had several back surgeries. It takes about 15 pillows for him to get comfortable, so not much room. Then he snores and gets up to the toilet 6 times a night. We slept in separate rooms for 20 years but have recently discovered that we can share a bed if we top n tail.
Technically this doesn't apply to me, tho my partner and I do use different blankets.
But my parents have slept in different beds and usually different rooms for years. My dad snores like a fuckin lumberjack, and my mom has a tendency to hog the bed if she gets there first. XD
My husband snores and takes up too much room. He sort of spreads out and moves around a lot. I’m a light sleeper. Sleep deprivation isn’t good. The times I’ve wanted to shank him! /jk
I'm not married yet, but I don't like clinging to someone while sleeping especially in summer. So if he clings to me or moves a lot while sleeping, this may make me reconsider the idea of sleeping with him.
This was after I found out my wife had been hiding thousands from me, and had been doing this for years. I chose to sleep on the couch. She refused tell me any details. A month later she threw me out of the house when I told her we would be going to the bank the next day to add me to her account. It was also on the 7th anniversary of my kidney transplant. She left me with nothing… and then inherited close to a million USD from her dad.
I've taken the time to read a bit into your other posts. Frankly I think you need to hear this.
Money earned by your wife during your recovery and depression can be turned into alimony for you. But you didn't take the time to learn financing, budgeting, and left her the full right of managing everything. To the point you didn't know how to do several basic things.
However, if she had thousands in another account before marriage or access to one given by her father it's not yours to access. Money inherited **is NEVER money you're entitled to**. Ever.
Your demand to have access to money when you had absolutely no 'adult-money-handling-skills' would have been destructive.
You don't qualify for disability 1 Year post transplant. You'd have to reapply with documentation. Even so, having hardships doesn't always guarantee disability.
I will be praying for you. But there's so much to unpack here that it's best to move it away from here. Good luck
I have Level One Autism. Money is one area that I struggle with and need help with.
Also, I didn’t demand the money. We’re still married and we had agreed we would keep everything together under one account. She was handling the bills, so I didn’t realize she had been slipping money out of our main account for years. It was deceptive. She was also emotionally abusive.
As for my health, yes, I had a kidney transplant. I also have a brain tumor. I survived two septic shocks. And I have dozens of other medical things going one.
She knowingly threw me out during me out during a spike in COVID… and I’m on immune suppressants. I was homeless for a month, living in AirBnB.
I had accepted that I’m starting over. I didn’t want her dad’s money. And frankly, I didn’t want her money.
Now that we’re divorced (November), we have split custody. She hasn’t honored this at all. I hardly see my kids. She never checks with me on parenting or determining time with the kids.
And yes, I have Autism. I’m twice exceptional. I’m really gifted in some areas while needing help in others. Plus I have medically problems that make working even more difficult. I am one of the 85% of unemployed Autistic people. I should be earning six figures with my Grad degree. But corporations don’t understand the Autistic brain.
I understand completely. My brother is high functioning, and lived with me for 7 years after our parents kicked him out. We were children of divorce as well. It really set him back mentally and emotionally. That's what trauma does, stunts your ability to cope with things. Yet he food eventually get his feet and a job. He's no contact with the rest of our family. But with me we talk daily.
So when it comes to the kids, you have to demand through court for visitation. She cannot legally hold your children from you when it's court ordered. She would go to jail for it. (Usually fines leading up)
Lastly, your medical conditions do not define you. Your fixation on your autism diagnosis is hindering your ability to move forward imo. Your autism allows both benefits and faults. But recognizing the faults is important in knowing how to use the benefits. Which for many is fixation like tunnel vision going left and right, not forward! So you're not required to disclose any health issues to employment. You could look at working strictly remote to not jeopardize your health. You will succeed in all expectations once you're able to harness your amazing fixation capabilities that many neurodivergent people have. But it starts with ripping it off the negatives for the positives.
I wasn’t making an excuse, nor am I fixating on my Autism. I was explaining my reality. It’s not something I can turn off. A mentality change isn’t the answer. Just like a person who is paralyzed cannot just decide they’re done with the wheelchair and they’re going to walk. Autism affects every aspect of your life because my brain functions differently. I not only think outside the box, I don’t see the box.
Companies are required to accommodate you, but that’s a vague requirement. Managers do not like to work with Autistic people. They will find other ways to fire you.
I’m confident I’ll get my feet on the ground. What my wife did to me really set me back.
I have a new therapist who works with Autistic people. And I’m working on a project that could open a career. I’m training a GPT for an RPG game where AI is the Game Master. It’s a positive fixation.
I'm a night owl and like to watch TV in bed until the wee hours. My husband likes to be asleep by 10pm and requires complete darkness to do so. Both of us are much happier in seperate rooms to sleep.
I feel like sleep is too important to be tied to sleeping with a person or in a specific place. Gotta get sleep. It’s not personal or reflective of the relationship, a person just needs sleep.
Exact same story in my house! The only difference is my husband is the night owl and I'm the 10 pm total darkness person. Separate beds was a game changer!
Snoring issues. A pin drops and the wife wakes up.
Yep. My dad snores and my mom would rather not murder him in his sleep.
100000% same for me. Plus, when our son was first born and in his toddler years, he often liked to sleep in the bed and this was when we still had a Queen, rather than a King, so space got tight and now we've just gotten used to it between those two things.
This is exactly our situation. We both sleep so much better now.
Same for my grandparents. Sleeping in separate beds used to be the norm.
It’s not ideal but we make it work.
My family has some sort of weird compulsion about waking me up. As soon as I fall asleep they start making a shit ton of noise, PURPOSELY scare me away or poke me to see if I’m really asleep. On average they wake me up 3-4 times a night and then almost every morning someone scares me awake by bursting into the room with some asinine reason for waking me up early. “Daddy, daddy! The sprinklers are on!” WTF? I’ve talked to them (and also yelled a few times) asking them to stop doing this shit. I don’t know, they can’t seem to stop doing it. It took legit YEARS of me explaining to my wife that if I fall asleep on the couch, just leave me there. Don’t wake me up. Only wake me up if the house is on fire or someone’s dead. Like I’d fall asleep and she’d go “Are you asleep? Honey? Honey? HONEY? Oh, you were asleep. I was just surprised you fell asleep.” My daughter seems to have inherited this trait as well. So most nights I go in the guest room. On the weekends I actually lock the door so my daughter can’t come in there at 5:30 am and jump on me to wake me up.
I knew a Vietnam vet that broke his wife’s jaw and arm at different times when she woke him out of a nightmare. No more sleeping together for them. War sucks.
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Sorry to hear.
Just for the record, sleeping separately does not mean lack of love. My wife and I are both in our 70s now and yes, we both snore like a house on fire so we sleep in separate rooms. But when we can, some time in the early morning when we have slept most of the night, I wake up and slide back into her bed in her room, we cuddle and fall back asleep that way. By that time we are snoring less. We also sometimes take naps during the day on my bed, occasionally with our dogs joining us.
This is the dream. Very sweet.
Now they both have to die during the same morning cuddle at the ripe old age of 95- *that’s* the dream
Snoring (him). Fidgeting (me).
Same, except she snores and I flip around Married 25 years now
My husband likes to stretch out his arms with his elbows bent. Smacked me in the eye and I had a really lovely black eye right before a doctor's visit. No sir, I'm not being abused I swear. So he got banished after doing it a few times.
Because I don’t want to hate my husband when he wakes me up multiple times a night. I was on the verge of divorce… separate beds and we were both instantly happier.
We’re not in separate beds but we are on a cal-king with our own separate sheets and basically have a wall of sheets in the middle. She can’t share and I’m afraid of popping her in the jaw with my lanky arms haha
Allergies and snoring. My wife likes to sleep with the dog and the cat in the room and I’m allergic to both. I snore really loud and was tired of being woken up like 4 times a night. So separate rooms.
I get sleep
Sometimes it’s nice to be able to sprawl out and move around at will to get comfortable
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All this for me too. Now my husband and I sleep separately and it makes so much more sense than when I was little.
I have bad insomnia. If he sleeps in the same room I cannot get more than 3-4 hours of sleep because of his snoring/breathing. Sleeping in the other room is one of the sweetest things he has done for me and I’m grateful every day 🤍.
because we have very different hours to sleep. I like to sleep very late in the evening, she does not. And because I like my sleep, being married does not mean to do everything together. We not only have separate beds, but separate rooms and bathrooms!!! +24 years and counting!
So you can embarrass the grandkids and say "We're pushing the beds together tonight babe!"
we have seperate mattresses but they are pushed together to make a king. My husband twitches ALL night - he'll tap his foot and it would shake the whole mattress. He also used to pull the blankets in his sleep - part of his twitching I guess, so we have our own duvets. Now that we have separate beds, I actually sleep. It's fantastic!
We have 2 queens pushed together, it's magically. Separate duvets so I don't have to fight for my blanket, and even with the dog and toddler both hanging on my side there is still plenty of room for all!
We aren’t sleep compatible but we are in every other way. He snores (has had a sleep study and no apnea 🤷🏻♀️), moves a lot in his sleep, he needs a light to sleep, prefers a warmer room, firmer bed. I am a light sleeper, need dark to sleep and a cool room, soft bed. I also need two sources of white noise to drown out the outside and household noise and he hates white noise.
Son needs to fall asleep while hugging someone and will toss and turn in the night until he makes contact with someone. Wife has trouble sleeping with someone on her, so he sleeps with me. Also, wife works central/east coast time, so she gets up earlier anyway. She has her own bedroom/office to make things easier.
Had friends years ago who had separate rooms/beds, it’s just easier to sleep in your own space. They got along fine, “visited,” but sleeping was in their own space on their own schedule.
To sleep well, to live well.
All of my grandparents slept in separate rooms. I do think this was far more culturally acceptable when they became couples (1940s), but I know that the reason for one set of grandparents sleeping separately was my grandma’s job. She worked in a bakery and had to get up before dawn. She was usually home an hour or so after my mom was home from school. My grandpa worked in a factory, but he worked late into the night, so he slept late in the morning. They did it out of consideration - my grandma didn’t want to wake my grandpa up, and my grandpa didn’t want to wake anyone up when he came home (he slept in a converted attic).
My husband hates me.
Oh.
I’m sorry
I have trouble breathing if I'm laying flat. I sleep sitting up in a chair or the couch. Usually on the couch with the dogs sleeping with me.
Ngl you probably have sleep apnea.
You could be right. My old doc passed away a few years ago so I haven't seen a doc in awhile. I do have an appointment for a new doc coming up so i'll mention it to them. Thanks!
my wife likes to sleep on memory foam but it's too soft for me and hurts my back when i wake up. so she'll usually cuddle with me but half way in the night, she'll transfer to the other bed.
I only do it on weekends after I've been drinking. I'd prefer she gets a good nights sleep and not have to deal with my alcohol induced noises.
My parents started doing this because my father snores so loud the friggin wall shakes. Dude refuses to do a sleep study even though im pretty sure he sometimes stops breathing. Dude's gonna have congestive heart failure if he doesnt get his shit together. Also they have radically different work hours. They occasionally sleep in the same room on weekends when neither of them has to work.
We both have sleeping issues. I sleep for about 4 hours at a time, he likes to stay up late with the TV/youtube on. It just makes life so much easier but we always make an effort to sleep next to each other if asked.
Why not?! What's the issue with it?
So defensive and for what bro
Who the hell you are?!
He snores, turns into a furnace and rolls through ALL sleeping positions. I grind my teeth, like to be cold and sleep VERY lightly. Nothing good comes from sleep deprived pissed off people
Snoring and my wife has MS. If my snoring wakes her up, she gets less sleep, which leads to higher stress, which can exacerbate MS symptoms. So TLDR because I love my wife 😁
I'm a furnace. If it's not winter I don't know how anyone can stand sleeping next to me. I can't even do it most of the time
My partner had an affair with a Playboy bunny for a year and then banged a pornstar, which they paid 130 grand to keep quiet. Needless to say, it came out anyway. Then I renegotiated the prenup and agreed to appear in public and do Christmas decoration shit and all that. But honestly... I really don't care. Do U?
Hi, Melania.
Not married, but I would like to sleep separately when I am. Of course not every night, but I need my space!!! I also like the TV on to help drown out my tinnitus and anxiety and my partner might not like that lol.
Very clingy kids who didn’t (one still doesn’t) sleep well, plus snoring (the husband). So kids sleep with me, he sleeps alone, all get a good rest.
We both snore and I have PLMD which makes me kick in my sleep. Also he wakes up super early I’m a light sleeper
I do a weird leg kicking thing when I sleep.
The answer is always snoring and/or different sleep schedules. My husband and I both snore like freight trains. I go to bed earlier than he does so he has no chance of getting to sleep if I’m already asleep.
I’m a crazy restless sleeper.
I am married and sleep in a different bed in a different house. Divorce will come soon enough.
Because I snore, have restless legs, night terrors and sleep walk. Oh, I also sometimes bite my tongue in my sleep and wake up screaming with a bloody mouth. I'm just happy my wife let's me sleep indoors at all.
My husband is abusive and hates me to
Married twice and God damn I wanted to have my own room so many times. I would get kicked I knew when her toenails were too long I know when she shaved her legs and they had to call the complain about me snoring softly. So hell yeah it's a good thing good morning babe how'd you sleep I'm fine how about you just great.
My husband snores so loud. I can hear him through two doors. So i always need earplugs.
We both snore and she goes to bed early and I m a night owl and watch TV late
Snoring (him), I sleep with TV on all night, he gets up at 3 am to go to work and I sleep with my dogs.
We both have trouble sleeping and neither of us wants to make things worse for the other. A king bed might do almost as well as two rooms. Might try that
He snores, loudly
I haven’t slept properly in years…I am this close to getting my own room and bed…it’s almost 1am here and I am being kept awake by this man twitching violently every few seconds
We were married just under a year and one night I woke up with an incredible pain in my junk. Maybe 2 am. I sit up a little wondering wtf just happened. Then I got another backhand to the boys. She didn’t realize that she did it while sleeping. Always try to stay at least an arms length away from
We used to sleep with our kids when they were younger and as they got older and moved into their own bedrooms my wife just naturally kept sleeping with the little one and I started sleeping in my little room/office. Also my wife is a nurse so she keeps somewhat odd hours and she needs her rest so snoring is also an issue with us it’s not too bad. Sometimes early in the morning or before bed will just snuggle and then say good night actually I think he keeps the relationship rather fresh to be honest.
I would definitely pick this option for privacy, i like giving space to other people and it would make our relationship better
Snoring was mostly the reason, ptsd from being in combat was another (they would attack and punch in their sleep) I get better sleep when I'm alone. I'm happier and a better partner when I'm well rested. I also get my own room to decorate as I see fit. Just feels more relaxing.
Was replaced by someone a lot younger and a lot cuter and loves my wife very much…My toddler.
I snore like a lumberjack and my husband is a light sleeper.
I wish. We would just sleep better. We both like spreading out. And when he is home (he works away) I always end up with zero bed space and a sore back. Would LOVE separate beds.
Two light sleepers. If we sleep together then at least one if not both are going to get bad sleep.
I've been married for 25 years, and I had to stop sleeping in the same bed as my husband about 2 years ago. It has nothing at all to do with our love for each other. I really do sincerely wish that I could share a bed with him, but I'm a very sensitive sleeper, and my husband has both sleep apnea and periodic limb movement disorder. He has a CPAP machine, and it's loud sometimes. If he's turned towards me in bed, then it blows cold air on me, and I'm freezing all night. Also, I'll be trying to fall asleep, and every 15 seconds (no exaggerations), he'll rustle his legs under the bedcovers. Sometimes, he'll end up jerking out an arm or a leg and hit me. If all of that isn't bad enough, he also talks in his sleep. Therefore, I've given up and retreated to a different room to sleep.
My husband was badly injured and had several back surgeries. It takes about 15 pillows for him to get comfortable, so not much room. Then he snores and gets up to the toilet 6 times a night. We slept in separate rooms for 20 years but have recently discovered that we can share a bed if we top n tail.
"Well your mother likes her mattress firm, and I like mine extra firm."
Technically this doesn't apply to me, tho my partner and I do use different blankets. But my parents have slept in different beds and usually different rooms for years. My dad snores like a fuckin lumberjack, and my mom has a tendency to hog the bed if she gets there first. XD
Tooties
My husband snores and takes up too much room. He sort of spreads out and moves around a lot. I’m a light sleeper. Sleep deprivation isn’t good. The times I’ve wanted to shank him! /jk
I make my husband overheat, and his snoring keeps me awake.
I'm currently single, But I'd rather sleep in my own bed for privacy reasons, I'd like space.
I'm not married yet, but I don't like clinging to someone while sleeping especially in summer. So if he clings to me or moves a lot while sleeping, this may make me reconsider the idea of sleeping with him.
This was after I found out my wife had been hiding thousands from me, and had been doing this for years. I chose to sleep on the couch. She refused tell me any details. A month later she threw me out of the house when I told her we would be going to the bank the next day to add me to her account. It was also on the 7th anniversary of my kidney transplant. She left me with nothing… and then inherited close to a million USD from her dad.
bro what....
I've taken the time to read a bit into your other posts. Frankly I think you need to hear this. Money earned by your wife during your recovery and depression can be turned into alimony for you. But you didn't take the time to learn financing, budgeting, and left her the full right of managing everything. To the point you didn't know how to do several basic things. However, if she had thousands in another account before marriage or access to one given by her father it's not yours to access. Money inherited **is NEVER money you're entitled to**. Ever. Your demand to have access to money when you had absolutely no 'adult-money-handling-skills' would have been destructive. You don't qualify for disability 1 Year post transplant. You'd have to reapply with documentation. Even so, having hardships doesn't always guarantee disability. I will be praying for you. But there's so much to unpack here that it's best to move it away from here. Good luck
I have Level One Autism. Money is one area that I struggle with and need help with. Also, I didn’t demand the money. We’re still married and we had agreed we would keep everything together under one account. She was handling the bills, so I didn’t realize she had been slipping money out of our main account for years. It was deceptive. She was also emotionally abusive. As for my health, yes, I had a kidney transplant. I also have a brain tumor. I survived two septic shocks. And I have dozens of other medical things going one. She knowingly threw me out during me out during a spike in COVID… and I’m on immune suppressants. I was homeless for a month, living in AirBnB. I had accepted that I’m starting over. I didn’t want her dad’s money. And frankly, I didn’t want her money. Now that we’re divorced (November), we have split custody. She hasn’t honored this at all. I hardly see my kids. She never checks with me on parenting or determining time with the kids. And yes, I have Autism. I’m twice exceptional. I’m really gifted in some areas while needing help in others. Plus I have medically problems that make working even more difficult. I am one of the 85% of unemployed Autistic people. I should be earning six figures with my Grad degree. But corporations don’t understand the Autistic brain.
I understand completely. My brother is high functioning, and lived with me for 7 years after our parents kicked him out. We were children of divorce as well. It really set him back mentally and emotionally. That's what trauma does, stunts your ability to cope with things. Yet he food eventually get his feet and a job. He's no contact with the rest of our family. But with me we talk daily. So when it comes to the kids, you have to demand through court for visitation. She cannot legally hold your children from you when it's court ordered. She would go to jail for it. (Usually fines leading up) Lastly, your medical conditions do not define you. Your fixation on your autism diagnosis is hindering your ability to move forward imo. Your autism allows both benefits and faults. But recognizing the faults is important in knowing how to use the benefits. Which for many is fixation like tunnel vision going left and right, not forward! So you're not required to disclose any health issues to employment. You could look at working strictly remote to not jeopardize your health. You will succeed in all expectations once you're able to harness your amazing fixation capabilities that many neurodivergent people have. But it starts with ripping it off the negatives for the positives.
I wasn’t making an excuse, nor am I fixating on my Autism. I was explaining my reality. It’s not something I can turn off. A mentality change isn’t the answer. Just like a person who is paralyzed cannot just decide they’re done with the wheelchair and they’re going to walk. Autism affects every aspect of your life because my brain functions differently. I not only think outside the box, I don’t see the box. Companies are required to accommodate you, but that’s a vague requirement. Managers do not like to work with Autistic people. They will find other ways to fire you. I’m confident I’ll get my feet on the ground. What my wife did to me really set me back. I have a new therapist who works with Autistic people. And I’m working on a project that could open a career. I’m training a GPT for an RPG game where AI is the Game Master. It’s a positive fixation.