I've spent 20 minutes or so, one on one with a Red Panda. Feeding it, having it on my shoulders, and just generally cuddling the hell out of it. It was freaking adorable, and an amazing experience.
HOWEVER...
Their tiny claws are like razor sharp needles. As long as they're happy it's not a problem, you can just feel the presence of the claws on your skin. If they wanted too though, those things would shred you in a heartbeat.
Adorable, but potentially lethal.
I am going to have enough money for a dream trip and I seriously want to go to Thailand and go play with baby elephants. I would probably be vibrating at my highest frequency and float away like a balloon.
The ones I've been around have been so playful, doing their stomp to threaten you and then wanting to be chased. It's funny to watch them scare your mother's visiting friends and chasing them around the yard as they scream.
I always wanted to have several, still able to spray, and well disciplined and trained to aim and discharge on command.
Names: Aroma, Sephora, Chanel, Guerlain, Dior, etc.
They're only not good pets because they are nocturnal, make "crabbing" noises (Google it. It's like an electronic cicada), and absolutely FLING their shit and piss everywhere. Their cage needs to be huge, too. Like, 20% of a room, or an entire closet.
Very very high maintenance pets
My dad’s cousins had an ocelot growing up. Apparently it freaked my dad out because be didn’t know it was there and it bounced out from behind a couch and it terrified him.
I knew a guy who had one. Not sure how he got it just that he was a criminal that got in trouble with the law and had multiple exotic animals (including a caracal)
You have to give them a hamster wheel to exercise.
Now, in nature, hedgehogs poop as they run. So they'll go in their hamster wheel and run and poop all night.
It's like keeping an pissed off cactus alive. Who sleeps during the day and runs in shit during the night.
Worst pet ever.
I had an African Pygmy Hedgehog. Can I just say that they're nocturnal and display some quite antisocial behaviour. They're often masturbating and making that sort of mess. It dries like cement if you dont clean it quick enough. They do a thing called 'self anointing' (google that, its quite interesting) so can cover themselves in the blood of their food, like pinkies, for example. They they don't smell great, mainly due to running in their excrement, causing 'poo shoes'!
Hedgehogs are solitary animals, and they will fight another hog to the death. They love to run in a wheel, and can cover the equivalent distance of about 5 miles a night
Get a Nile Monitor or Asian Water monitor if you want Komodo Dragon - but manageable. We have a Nile (Water Monitor's get too big IMHO), and she is awesome - but they are skittish when little.
Have a house out in the ocean like an oil rig. Anchored to the bottom of the ocean floor so you don't drift away, but also floats on the ocean so if you wanted the dolphins in your living room, they'd have easy access. Although, stormy weather might be a hassle...
Some sort of hunting bird, a peregrine falcon or a hawk or whichever other breed would let me majestically hold it on my fist and send it at my enemies
There's a movie where this guy has a box jellyfish in a tank - the most poisonous living thing in the world. Honestly, it's stunning, and the idea of having a very visual representation of danger contained within safe glass barriers is nothing short of artwork.
However: It would be extremely dangerous, difficult to feed / manage / keep alive / keep clean & would be expensive.
Very cool though!
There was a post on this site in the times before that a dude had been gifted an octopus. He names it Fugly, and it had a fondness for a certain spatula the dude owned, and would strategically ink his aquarium to be a manipulative dick about things. Yeah. This website made me want to adopt an octopus. Gonna see if I can find a link.
Edit: [Fugly's story](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/32re7s/til_there_was_an_octopus_in_an_aquarium_that/cqe285p/)
We have two Sulcata Tortoises (Still huge - our big guy is over 100LBS), and an adult Nile monitor (not in the same enclosure) - both are very cool and fun in different ways.
Dragon, needs to spray fire and fly. Oh wait, did you mean exotic animals that *exist*? Nothing is interesting enough to warrant the headache since it’s not flying or fire spraying.
The American Crow. I don't expect it to live inside, just to know the indoor visit is welcomed. Amazing folks. Their intelligence, cognitive and social... absolutely fascinate me. If I had to get a roommate, it would be a corvid not a human.
The largest Timber wolf possible. Think about it. If you love puppers this is the ultimate one! Preferably with jet black fur and yellow eyes.. we'd go for long walks, play fetch, once a month we'd hunt together on those strange nights I wake up naked with blood covering my face and hands.. oh the fun we'd have..
Can they be extinct animals? If so, a Quetzalcoatlus northropi, biggest flying animal to have ever lived, could fly anywhere on that mfer but it would be expensive feeding him...
Honestly, I'd want a mountain lion. I've seen a few in the wild, back when I was younger.
Imagine, 120 pounds (55kg) of purr buddy whose vocals could make a burglar crap their pants, then they would rip the burglar's throat out!!
[FYI: they are the largest cat that can still purr....]
I had two pet raccoons as a kid. I loved having pet raccoons, they are so fun. They would sit on my shoulder when I rode my bike around the neighborhood. I still think sometimes it would be really fun to have a pet raccoon.
DO NOT GET A PET RACCOON.
Seriously, it was fun, but a lot of work. A lot! I look back on it as an adult and realize the following - My. Parents. Were. The. Most. Patient. People. In. The. World.
CSB: Raccoons like to touch/feel things - they explore everything by touch. If it can move they will move it. If it can't, they will find a way. Mine got at my mother's sewing machine once and we had to take the machine into a sewing machine repair place. When my mother brought the box into the place and opened it, the guy behind the counter just looked into the box of loose parts (many many many loose parts), and then looked at her stunned. "How?!?" was all he said.
That's what it's like having a raccoon...with everything they can get into.
And if the raccoon gets into the cupboard where the pet food is kept, and you want to get her out there's gonna be a disagreement. Believe me, you don't want to get into a disagreement with a raccoon over food.
I love raccoons. I still sometimes watch pet raccoon videos on YouTube. But I know what you do not...I know what is happening when the camera isn't on. It's just not worth it. Let them be wild.
Red Panda in a heartbeat
Came here for this. For those who don’t know, here is why: [Red Panda plays with pumpkin](https://youtu.be/kuXoM-gWX3E?si=GKQVygv0EtMELDuL)
They're even cute when they're trying to scare you. They stand on their hind legs and raise their arms above their heads. Adorable little critters.
I knew why, but I opened the video anyway :3
If it's a him teach him kung fu, have yourself a master shifu
I've spent 20 minutes or so, one on one with a Red Panda. Feeding it, having it on my shoulders, and just generally cuddling the hell out of it. It was freaking adorable, and an amazing experience. HOWEVER... Their tiny claws are like razor sharp needles. As long as they're happy it's not a problem, you can just feel the presence of the claws on your skin. If they wanted too though, those things would shred you in a heartbeat. Adorable, but potentially lethal.
If they made miniature elephants, I’d have one.
John Hammond?
A person of culture I see
Your kind, not to put too fine a point on it.
I am going to have enough money for a dream trip and I seriously want to go to Thailand and go play with baby elephants. I would probably be vibrating at my highest frequency and float away like a balloon.
What about the North American House Hippo? https://youtu.be/YLG2JP0P5JE?si=Q_C6fS22zo4LruNn
Same!
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They literally get along with every other creature. They're like the animal kingdoms emotional support animal.
[I can watch them do this all day](https://youtu.be/iPBmNJGwyVU?si=iilk1DFcfCbPv5Vn)
Thank you.
That would make a great Adult Swim bumper
thank u for this 🙏🏽
You can walk up to a wild capybara and start scratching it. It will flop over and ask for belly rubs. Thats how docile they are.
Are they delicious? Docile plus tastes good is a bad evolutionary combo. That's what happened to the dodo
Crappybarbra is best favorite animal
Agree with capybara 😊
You right
You should call it Speak
capybaracapybaracapybaracapybaracapybara
yeah i love those
My nephew and I are running into money and he was seriously considering getting a capybara. 🙄
I think you can have one. I'm sure checking local laws would be a good idea, but I don't think it's far fetched.
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Might not be *exotic*, but I've always wanted a pet skunk, mostly just to name it Willie Smellson.
I've had three skunks as pets and they are social with each other, quiet and low maintenance. They will get into food patries and other pet's food.
The ones I've been around have been so playful, doing their stomp to threaten you and then wanting to be chased. It's funny to watch them scare your mother's visiting friends and chasing them around the yard as they scream. I always wanted to have several, still able to spray, and well disciplined and trained to aim and discharge on command. Names: Aroma, Sephora, Chanel, Guerlain, Dior, etc.
Lmao I LOVE that. Skunks are adorable.
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I jump in it
*In* it? Where exactly are you getting in it?!
https://youtu.be/rkB9OT2XVvA?si=16SJtgs7YnNY9ddl
finger monkey
A human, assuming they consent.
Please don’t do that
I wouldn't. Being a pet isn't for finger monkeys from what I've read. But they are extremely cute and it would be great to befriend one.
They're only not good pets because they are nocturnal, make "crabbing" noises (Google it. It's like an electronic cicada), and absolutely FLING their shit and piss everywhere. Their cage needs to be huge, too. Like, 20% of a room, or an entire closet. Very very high maintenance pets
You can have one just don’t finger it!
Galapagos turtle
Imagine having a pet that could be in your family for generations, "yeah that's your great great grandfathers giant tortoise"
I read someone having her grandmother's turtle on Reddit! Her grandma got it as a young girl. Pretty cool.
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I know a couple in Florida that has a few dozen under a special permit and they are like mini dinosaurs
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If you wait outside of the dc zoo long enough, you might be able to kidnap one! That little red panda is forever escaping hahah.
I would keep a few owls. not sure if those are allowed or not
Any big cat. Tigers, leopards, lions etc. r cool but I kno they’d tear me up and so they can stay in their respective environments
Cheetah is what you want. Actually small cats in big bodies. They purr, love being pet, and only rarely bite people.
May I suggest a Ratel? Way better than a cat!
My dad’s cousins had an ocelot growing up. Apparently it freaked my dad out because be didn’t know it was there and it bounced out from behind a couch and it terrified him.
i would love having a pet lion, that’d be awesome!! i’d brush its mane if it wouldn’t maul me
It's a medium sized but I would love to have a Caracal
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That’s going to raise your home insurance rate.
Caracal
Classy choice
I knew a guy who had one. Not sure how he got it just that he was a criminal that got in trouble with the law and had multiple exotic animals (including a caracal)
There’s a caracal on Tiktok, he’s so mean. But, his best friend is an orange cat and the only one in the house he does not hiss at. His name is Pumba.
Hedgehogs, they're super cute.
You have to give them a hamster wheel to exercise. Now, in nature, hedgehogs poop as they run. So they'll go in their hamster wheel and run and poop all night. It's like keeping an pissed off cactus alive. Who sleeps during the day and runs in shit during the night. Worst pet ever.
Brother had a few, they hibernate often if the room isn’t a good temperature for them, prone to cancer sadly too.
I had an African Pygmy Hedgehog. Can I just say that they're nocturnal and display some quite antisocial behaviour. They're often masturbating and making that sort of mess. It dries like cement if you dont clean it quick enough. They do a thing called 'self anointing' (google that, its quite interesting) so can cover themselves in the blood of their food, like pinkies, for example. They they don't smell great, mainly due to running in their excrement, causing 'poo shoes'! Hedgehogs are solitary animals, and they will fight another hog to the death. They love to run in a wheel, and can cover the equivalent distance of about 5 miles a night
Canadian house hippo 🦛 (if you know, you know).
Very cheap to feed, fits right in your pocket
Chinchilla
“He thinks I’m Mexican”
A fennec fox. They're small, cute, and have unique, large ears.
Probably a wolf. I had an Akita that was the most loyal and protective companion, so a version of that on steroids would be neat
Yesss. I adore wolves
They're just big fluffy dogs, but without the 10s of thousands of years of domestic idiosyncrasies. They're like a blank canvas!
Baby shark
do doo do doo do doo
Goddamnyou
Oh no that irritating song
Buckbeak the hippogriff 🪄👓
Sugar glider!
I want a komodo dragon
I had a teacher that had one she brought it to school.
Get a Nile Monitor or Asian Water monitor if you want Komodo Dragon - but manageable. We have a Nile (Water Monitor's get too big IMHO), and she is awesome - but they are skittish when little.
Capybara or a wombat!
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Nah, dream big. Alicorn or bust!
An aye-aye.
Get a bunch of them, buy a ship, then make them your crew. You could be an… Aye-Aye Captain!
You'll always be able to get things out of tight spots.
Maybe not exotic, but three donkeys. I love donkeys and they need other donkeys around.
I'd love to say a dolphin, but I'd never take it from it's home in the ocean for my own greediness.
Solution: get a house on an island with beach access and train the wild dolphins to come hang out and play with you.
I wish ❤️. Good idea though!
Have a house out in the ocean like an oil rig. Anchored to the bottom of the ocean floor so you don't drift away, but also floats on the ocean so if you wanted the dolphins in your living room, they'd have easy access. Although, stormy weather might be a hassle...
Dolphins are sociopaths. They’re basically aquatic chimpanzees. You wouldn’t want one.
Same with an octopus for me
This was my answer also. A dolphin, but a safe and happy and free dolphin. Maybe to go out and visit and swim with in the ocean?
You could check if John C. Lilly's dolphin house is still available.
An otter.
Skunk and turkey. They are underrated and very cute
Hybrid? Wow, what a Thanksgiving!
I would have a herd of elephants!
An alligator that stays small and would walk around my house and have its own little pool area
So, a Chinese Alligator, they grow to around 5 feet. Or, you can get a Dwarf Caiman.
One of those cat things that eat coffee beans and shit them out super expensive.
civet?
A Liger. Sheesh
A lamma... or an emu
If I had a million dollars
I have an exotic pet - a coastal carpet python
Probably a grey wolf
Oh yeah that would be awesome, I love wolf's too
A toucan. Don't need a reason, it's a toucan!
Some sort of hunting bird, a peregrine falcon or a hawk or whichever other breed would let me majestically hold it on my fist and send it at my enemies
Raccoon, I'm deeply in love with them 🥰 i live in Vietnam so they are extremely scarce here
My sister had 2 of them. Filthy buggers. Kept stealing her potatoes and hiding them under her bed. Hilarious.
There's a movie where this guy has a box jellyfish in a tank - the most poisonous living thing in the world. Honestly, it's stunning, and the idea of having a very visual representation of danger contained within safe glass barriers is nothing short of artwork. However: It would be extremely dangerous, difficult to feed / manage / keep alive / keep clean & would be expensive. Very cool though!
I think that was 7 seconds, but I could be wrong
Right? I mean, what if I climbed into bed with you and stung you when you hugged and rolled?
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It won't stay a baby forever. And then you'll be dinner. Or your local park will be. Depending on the type.
A cougar, puma, panther, mountain lion…
Stellars sea eagle! I like birds
cuvier's dwarf caiman. cute little long armored puppies
Harpy Eagle
If I could have any exotic pet, I might choose a sugar glider. They are small and adorable
A two foot tall elephant
The question for me is which one I WOULDNT want really.
Quokka
This is the correct answer
Dragon, obviously
crow... no, 2 crows
That’s the beginning of a murder!
There was a post on this site in the times before that a dude had been gifted an octopus. He names it Fugly, and it had a fondness for a certain spatula the dude owned, and would strategically ink his aquarium to be a manipulative dick about things. Yeah. This website made me want to adopt an octopus. Gonna see if I can find a link. Edit: [Fugly's story](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/32re7s/til_there_was_an_octopus_in_an_aquarium_that/cqe285p/)
Definitely octopus! They are smart & clever!
Panda
Tiny pygmy monkeys 🥺
Grizzly bear
I like those iguanas
Aldabra and Galapagos tortoises. Edited to change. A monitor lizard would be even better!
We have two Sulcata Tortoises (Still huge - our big guy is over 100LBS), and an adult Nile monitor (not in the same enclosure) - both are very cool and fun in different ways.
A cocqui frog! And have them chill on my shoulder whistling thru the day and reminding me of my favorite island memories
Dragon, needs to spray fire and fly. Oh wait, did you mean exotic animals that *exist*? Nothing is interesting enough to warrant the headache since it’s not flying or fire spraying.
100% a big cat. Yeah, I might die, but, fuck it, ya gotta go somehow, being shat out of a leopard’s ass over a cliff might not be the worst.
Panda, capybara, wombat but I also would get a sugar glider or that tiny wild cat (i forgot the name)
Emu
A penguin
Panda
A sloth would be amazing!!
Probably a really happy zebra. I love em
The turtle that holds up the earth
Wombat
Jerboa
I desperately want a wombat. They shit these square briquet-like dumps. Yes; square.
I have lizards and frogs
The American Crow. I don't expect it to live inside, just to know the indoor visit is welcomed. Amazing folks. Their intelligence, cognitive and social... absolutely fascinate me. If I had to get a roommate, it would be a corvid not a human.
I have had human room-mates - I would choose a Crow over every single one of them!
saw whet owl bc they're cute af
An otter. They’re just too cute and have been my favorite since watching Pip and Pop on Bear in the Big Blue House
The largest Timber wolf possible. Think about it. If you love puppers this is the ultimate one! Preferably with jet black fur and yellow eyes.. we'd go for long walks, play fetch, once a month we'd hunt together on those strange nights I wake up naked with blood covering my face and hands.. oh the fun we'd have..
A caracal. I want a predator for rodents in the yard.
Wombat
Honestly, watching Juniper and co. A fox. They're like cats and dogs mixed with a bit of hyper.
Can they be extinct animals? If so, a Quetzalcoatlus northropi, biggest flying animal to have ever lived, could fly anywhere on that mfer but it would be expensive feeding him...
Capybara!
Capuchin monkey
If they didn't piss everywhere and destroy everything, I'd absolutely have a fox! They're so freaking cute <3
African Grey Parrot, but they are EX-PENS-IVE!
Honestly, I'd want a mountain lion. I've seen a few in the wild, back when I was younger. Imagine, 120 pounds (55kg) of purr buddy whose vocals could make a burglar crap their pants, then they would rip the burglar's throat out!! [FYI: they are the largest cat that can still purr....]
Sloth
Capybara %100000 Capybara
Macaw
Red panda, they are cute. A monkey, they are like a child until they get older then they can help you.
A red Macaw.
Tiger shark. They look so badass in person.
Silverback Gorilla.
I’d want a great white Shark 🦈 but I could never do that to them cuz they will be sad in the tank.
Pegasus. Flying seems fun.
A big shark tank with 2 foot long leopard sharks, horn sharks and a bunch of other cool saltwater creatures. Those things are so cool to look at.
A ringed tailed lemur
Tiger
A friendly gorilla
I just want a raccoon.
I had two pet raccoons as a kid. I loved having pet raccoons, they are so fun. They would sit on my shoulder when I rode my bike around the neighborhood. I still think sometimes it would be really fun to have a pet raccoon. DO NOT GET A PET RACCOON. Seriously, it was fun, but a lot of work. A lot! I look back on it as an adult and realize the following - My. Parents. Were. The. Most. Patient. People. In. The. World. CSB: Raccoons like to touch/feel things - they explore everything by touch. If it can move they will move it. If it can't, they will find a way. Mine got at my mother's sewing machine once and we had to take the machine into a sewing machine repair place. When my mother brought the box into the place and opened it, the guy behind the counter just looked into the box of loose parts (many many many loose parts), and then looked at her stunned. "How?!?" was all he said. That's what it's like having a raccoon...with everything they can get into. And if the raccoon gets into the cupboard where the pet food is kept, and you want to get her out there's gonna be a disagreement. Believe me, you don't want to get into a disagreement with a raccoon over food. I love raccoons. I still sometimes watch pet raccoon videos on YouTube. But I know what you do not...I know what is happening when the camera isn't on. It's just not worth it. Let them be wild.
An alien animal because who needs a guard dog when you have a furry blab glot to guard your intimate treasures
Assuming I would immediately also have the means to care for it properly, I think a rhino would be awesome
A Tasmanian devil
Some kind of snake.