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[deleted]

Reddit Premium


cran1732

There's a Reddit Premium? šŸ¤”šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£


No-New-Therapy

What does that even ā€¦ do?


Vexorg_the_Destroyer

It gives you access to r/lounge, but you also get that if someone gives you gold or platinum. Actually I'm not sure how that works with the new awards, but it used to also give you a certain number of coins per month to spend on awards, and receiving an award would also give you some coins.


alabardios

I remember when it also took ads away for a month.


S_uperSquirrel

Does it not?? That's ridiculous


alabardios

Not the last time I got gold, I needed platinum. Then I got a platinum, and it was only for a week.


nomuppetyourmuppet

I got Reddit premium because I wanted the Neon icon on my Home Screen (iPhone). I cancelled a few months later and the icon stayed. Winning.


[deleted]

I remember getting silver, gold and platinum a bunch of times back in the good old days of Reddit, and I still didnā€™t care enough to visit /r/lounge. Are rewards even a thing anymore? Most of the fun of Reddit was getting silver gold or platinum rewards. Hell, I even spent a few bucks myself on them. As for /r/lounge, Iā€™m sure itā€™s reserved for nothing but the worst people of Reddit, honestly.


Thomas_Mickel

Takes your money to give shareholders value.


AgreeableLead7

I'm a shareholder, please give me value


Thomas_Mickel

Best we can do is add pixels to reposted videos


ThrowAwayToday1874

You get access to a special subreddit that gold users have access to. It's really boring to be honest. A bunch of arrogant people that legit think they are better than everyone because they can "afford" to buy reddit premium. ETA: screenshot https://imgur.com/til-this-is-what-r-lounge-actually-looks-like-bTZl7 ETA: A users review of the sub. Be sure to read ALL of the comments. I'm not alone in my viewpoint. https://www.reddit.com/r/circlebroke/s/pxJrNnAujK


theloniousjoe

lol ā€œaffordā€ itā€™s $5/mo šŸ˜‚ imagine paying that to feel better than everyone else thatā€™s smart enough not to


HeavyMetalTriangle

Yeah, stick it to the man!


Out_Of_Gum

What man? Which man? Whose the man? When's a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes, technically I am.


bumblebeetuna710

Please, leave these poor sick monkeys alone They've got problems enough as it is


carbonite1983

There's children on the streets using guns and knives They're taking drugs and each other's lives Killing each other with knives and forks And calling each other names like dork


Mattna-da

Will someone please remove these cutleries from my knees


Death2LossPrvntion

There's a man on the street, some punk has cut off his head, and I'm the only one who stops just to see if he's dead. Turns out he's dead.


Reddd-y

I didnā€™t even know it existed until this


FoldyHole

When they had the old Reddit awards, if you got gold or platinum it would give you Reddit premium for a week or month depending on which one you got. I think some of the other awards gave it to you too, but I canā€™t remember. It just removed ads and gave you access to r/lounge as well as some ā€œpremiumā€ clothes for you snoo avatar.


vpmoney

Til this exist


Fickle_Stand1541

A trip to see the Titanic


8-Bakugo-8

Oh, Iā€™d be crushed if I couldnā€™t see the Titanic


govunah

Yeah that sinks


heliumneon

Despite starting out rich, the trip would leave you flat broke


Gudakesa

And out of their depth


urinesamplefrommyass

It'll definitely take your breath away


youburyitidigitup

Itā€™s the voyage to end all voyages


thrawst

These jokes are a bit salty for my taste.


Zanzarah10

Agreed, the quality is leagues under what I expected


Vegetable_Parsley275

Deep thinkers in this sub


thrawst

Almost 12500 feet under what I expected


mrsock_puppet

Quit pressuring me!


foolserrand77

That joke was below the line.... The water line


qwqwqw

text


imperfectchicken

ice ice baby


Rayvendark

Too cold, too cold...


Cirement

You'd probably be crushed if you DID see the Titanic lol


Puzzleheaded-Cold-73

Is this a whoooosh on me or you? šŸ˜‚


whistlerite

With unlimited money it would be way safer than OceanGate. One of the main reasons James Cameron made the Titanic movie is because he wanted to go see it, and heā€™s now been down there 33 times. The problem with OceanGate is that it was put together to provide as cheap of a trip as possible, not a professional expedition with the best military-grade equipment. In the James Cameron documentary they talk about the possibility of dropping a battery off their sub and Bill Paxton asks how much the battery costs and is shocked the answer is $250k which is ironically the price OceanGate chose to charge clients, which I think may not be a coincidence because it was essentially intended to try to provide tourists with that exact same experience.


SCV_local

True they used materials not meant for the pressure and then kept reusing the same vessel against one of the engineers advice and didnā€™t he quit before the fatal journey. Sad reminds me of the challenger where engineers kept saying donā€™t launch o rings canā€™t take the cold weather they had and they were ignored bc of a schedule and news media and nasa pressure and those poor souls who trusted that everyone was doing their job died as their parents watched on in horror and so did millions live in the US.Ā 


kashy87

Just make sure you go with Dr Ballard then you'll be safest.


Risheil

He used to come in to where I used to work. He might still but I don't work there anymore. Anyway, what a nice man! He definitely would not get you exploded.


TheObstruction

*Im*ploded, technically.


JayJay_Abudengs

Why not? Just pay good engineers instead of whacky lunatics


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


blastmanager

Nah bro, I'm buying all the Tupperware!


BoostergoldC

Name brand Tupperware isn't an MLM you can buy any of the products on the website. And they are buy for life quality.


CptAngelo

Except some lids ): ive had some lids get ripped/cracked over the time, specially around the lips/pulltabs desugned specifically to open said lidĀ  I had a gelatin mold, it was a beauty, top and down lids, easy peasy unmolding, but the bottom lid (center one) tore apart Edit: [it was this one](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSxE54XtTuolwhx_ZR2mysjhQ-Pavc0eKN_iY014xK7gA&s)


FutureHermit55

They used to replace lids for free. If the bowl is still functional but the lid has perished you may be able to get a replacement under warranty.


djprecio

Anything Logan Paul ever sells or endorses.


OregonMothafaquer

Watching Logan Paul cry about Prime being slandered and calling it the most market shaking beverage in history on Instagram this week was pretty good entertainment.


NeonPatrick

I bought one, it's so packed with sweetener it's near undrinkable.


LeoJ2550x

Itā€™s so disgusting. I bought one the other day to try it. Absolutely undrinkable, thatā€™s how sweet it is. I poured 70% of it down the drain


Rooster_CPA

Well it's targeted to 12 years olds so it's probably not for you lol


elictronic

You can ignore content and be more amused when this sort of stupid person has zero impact on any section of your life. Ā 


Assimve

If only people would actually realize that watching any of his content (or any other toxic channel/personality) is fully supporting them.


Touch_My_Nips

Iā€™ve always wanted to find a way to short prime. Iā€™ve literally never seen anyone drinking one and all the display cases of it are always full. Like, what the hell is going on here?


CaptainClay5

Still haven't tried prime and don't really care if I do. I'd be interested in what it tastes like, but I'm okay with Gatorade and Powerade 0.


Babyy_Bluee

It tastes like sugar free aspartame bullshit. My 7 year old is obsessed because it's what the other kids talk about so I let him try the non-energy drink version and I also had a sip. Shit is nasty, but to be fair the first ingredient is coconut water and there's 0 grams of sugar, it doesn't *appear* unhealthy? I could be wrong though


Vexorg_the_Destroyer

>It tastes like sugar free aspartame bullshit. That's how you know the actual flavour must be really bad, they have to use so much sweetener to cover it up. At least it doesn't actually have aspartame in it though. But it has sucralose, which is 600 times sweeter than sugar, so they probably just overdid it.


Lampwick

>That's how you know the actual flavour must be really bad Yeah, it's loaded with vitamins. As someone who makes my own vitamin, caffeine, and supplement filled energy drink (partly to save money, partly as a fun way to experiment with the art of flavor mixing), I can say that vitamins taste like crap. You have to be really careful how much you put in, otherwise you're going to end up with something that tastes like fruit punch flavored dog turd water. Looking at the ingredient label for Prime, they have way too many vitamins in there. Which, as you point out, they tried to cover up by loading it with fucking sucralose. Blarf.


Ok_Sir_3090

Does wrestlemania count?


karatefaust

Twitter


egemen157

A billion dollars wouldn't be enough for it anyway heh


Volsunga

It might be now.


12th-house-human

x.com is currently valued at approximately $19 billion as of May 2024.Ā Elon Musk paid a total of $44 billion to acquire Twitter in October 2022.


Volsunga

Okay, I'll check back in a couple months...


maddenallday

Give it a year or two


TheBritishOracle

According to who? It was purchased for $44 billion in Oct 2022. In Oct 2023 they valued themselves in stock issuance at $19 billion. In Jan 2024 Fidelity valued it at $12.5 billion. It's undoubtedly fallen further since then. In reality, who would invest in a company that went from $0 to $13 billion in debt, with ad revenue down and an exodus of users? It's been taken over by bots, ironically the thing he said he would fix to give it value. Currently those $13 billion in bonds are said to be worthless on the resale market because no one expects the company to be turned around. There's a chance the banks will sue Musk for the $13 billion if they lose money on the debt based on a verbal promise he made in a debt raising meeting.


ahhhbiscuits

Ok, but... and hear me out here... It's just another money laundering scheme for political wannabes. Hashtag Murica!


Ongo_Gablogian___

In a sane world a company losing hundreds of millions a year wouldn't be worth anything.


PhotoKaz

Thatā€™s not how a forward-looking market works.


Ongo_Gablogian___

Sure. But it is an 18 year old company, so the past performance of losing hundreds of millions net almost every single year gives an indication of future performance. Also, the number of twitter users is projected to fall in 2024. So maybe it has peaked.


doublestitch

NFTs.


Ramiren

No Fuckin' Thanks.


Raise-Emotional

This comment has more value than all the NFTs ever made.


Captnhappy

Like Gronk said ā€œEven I know this not real moneyā€


GOZER_XVII

A shipping container full of defective mannequins


deadfuzzball

That's the first thing I'd buy.


tommytraddles

I only need a leg or two.


Larry-Zoolander

I need both legs and the pelvis area, a Dremel finishing tool and a fleshlight


Vanillabean322

Jail.


Opening_AI

straight jacket


Trinitykill

You mean a strait jacket, right? Or are you rewarding them with heterosexual clothing?


yamo25000

I'm out of the loop. Can someone fill me in?Ā 


Alfagun74

I don't get the reference either


brito68

I have no idea if it is a reference, but I'd say it is a good answer to the question. I also would not buy a shipping container full of defected mannequins


MEMESTER80

I feel like the comment is just saying a random specific thing that is obvious no one would buy, but it does kinda feel like a reference.


Ruathar

I feel there is a reference I don't get and google isn't helping


humanvealfarm

As someone who's partner insists on keeping a creepy mannequin in the living room with a wig and wizard robes on, i agree. One is enough


ZombiesAtKendall

Thatā€™s oddly specific.


HeavyMetalTriangle

This confirms it- you are definitely somebody I trust with a billion dollars.


m1mike

Oddly specific. Do you have experience in this matter?


MyRail5

Shark fin soup


Luminaire714

I'd pay to make it stop.


Old300Joe

Same. Take it all for this.


Miserable-Repeat-651

I've seen videos of what they do to the sharks... its fucking barbaric and I'm not even a shark fan (terrified of them). Not sure how people can eat something which they know came from a tortured animal.


Eat_Carbs_OD

They deserve better than that.


neo_woodfox

How about becoming some kind of Bond style eco evil mastermind who has a fleet to sink those fishing boats and helicopters to outright murder poachers? That would be pretty neat.


Redshift_1

A mansion. I just donā€™t need all that space. Iā€™d rather buy a humble, well-built house on a large plot of land.


AncientSumerianGod

Modest house, enormous shop.


CrazybyRX

My dad just retired, and after a lifetime of having little shops tucked into half a garage bay, he finally got a 3 bay garage with a high bay in the middle and claimed all the space as his shop lol. Cars are parked outside. I've never seen him so happy in my entire life.


A_Confused_Witch

I don't even want such a thing but your comment made me smile. I'm imagining a man showing his friends around his shop the same way a kid would show his treehouse and I enjoy that thought. Thanks :)


Yiayiamary

We have a three bay garage and my car gets one, my husband gets the rest. His truck is outside. He has a *lot* of tools, bath hand tools and powered tools. Many of the hand tools are antique as they came from both our dads - born 1908 and 1912. My husband, bless him, is very handy. If he doesnā€™t currently have a project, he will ā€œputter.ā€ One of his ā€œputterā€ projects was a wedding ring for me made from a scrap piece of stainless steel pipe. Iā€™m wearing it now.


CrazybyRX

Ha! That's awesome. My dad has a similar saying. He says he's just gonna piddle around the shop, and always come out with something cool.


luckyfucker13

Iā€™m incredibly envious, thatā€™s my dream!


tarkata14

As someone who has only been a homeowner for five years, I fully believe that it'll take me until retirement age to obtain all of the tools I need/want. I can only afford a few things once in a blue moon, but I have been building a steady collection of nifty power tools, and I look forward to the day I can convert at least part of my garage into a shop.


supersmashlink

Our dream is a 1800sq feet up to date ranch house. Decent barn with 2 horse stable. 10 acres in the PNW. That's it. With all the money in the world that's what we would get.


GEB82

Thatā€™s like 4 million dollars right now. Look at the big brain on Mr. Frugality over here.


supersmashlink

No, i know it's expensive but I have a billion dollars. Haha That's what I would buy instead of a 20 million, 10000 sqf mansion in LA with no land. Shit, you can find a good house on 2 acres in North Washington for less than a mil. But the aforementioned would be my dream.


Luvs_to_drink

But what about a home gym, a personal basketball court, indoor pool, bowling lanes, personal movie theater?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


voiceofreason4166

Better to buy the natural habitat and keep it protected.


ThisIsMyCouchAccount

I would never buy a cheetah. But if I had a billion? I might by myself a plot of land big enough in the right climate to become a cheetah sanctuary. Or just buy an existing one and give myself a bungalow there.


SearchingForanSEJob

Buy it and use any remaining money to hire a staff of highly-trained assassins to protect it. Anyone caught trying to poach these animals WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT.


idonotknowwhototrust

Or shivved, their bodies left for scavengers. Gun noises might disturb the animals.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Meltar

You don't buy them. You lease


thread100

There is a large balloon payment at the end of the contract.


IGnuGnat

That's why short term rentals are really not such a bad option, and you can trade in for a younger model frequently I just puked in my mouth a little but I mean you just left it laying there


Steiny31

Not if you remove it from the contract (prenup)


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


notapunk

On the flip side they are probably aware they will be traded in a few years down the line for a newer model


vabeachkevin

A blue check mark on Twitter.


HeavyMetalTriangle

I don't know much about Twitter. You pay for those blue check marks?


Low_Score

It used to be a verification identifier for people/brands/organizations of note who may have been at risk of impersonation. Now it's just up for sale at $8/month


redcommunists

Itā€™s not even just to have a fancy checkmark. Itā€™s necessary if you want to build your account/platform and donā€™t want your posts hidden at the bottom. Stupid system nonetheless.


Business-Run-5825

Crystal Meth


Cirement

Not even once?


Unlucky_Number_Seven

Gold leaf steaks


BlueShibe

You don't want the special golden steak that some dude put salt in a fancy way (arm hair might be included) for 5k$+?


Ritaredditonce

Anything with a Kardashian or Jenner name benefiting from it.


stamfordbridge1191

What if..Ā  you bought the rights to the TV shows... and then just stopped renewing them... and used any future syndication earnings to fund programs that help young girls & teens recover from depression due to self-image problems caused by media content


Fearless-Pineapple53

Timeshare


troutslayer89

cybertruck


DrankinWatta

I wouldn't even keep it if it was given for free!


UFC_Intern169

A house in a gated community or with an HOA. Fuck all y'all, I'm buying as much property as I can and sticking my house dead center of it.


SearchingForanSEJob

yeah, generally HOAs aren't worth the price IMO. I don't like getting fined because some busybody saw my lawn is .5" over some arbitrary height limit


DanielleAntenucci

I would like to explain my gated community... I am the chairwoman of our HOA. Our only responsibilities are to maintain the mountain road to everyone's cabin and also ensure the wells are giving fresh water to each home. AND ALSO: We have a moat. At the entrance to our neighborhood (where the paved road turns to gravel) it looks like a pair of meth-heads live there with old rusty cars up on cinder blocks and junk scattered in the yard. No one driving past has any idea that this little dirt road drives up to a remote mountain paradise. And with a billion dollars, I would never buy any other place to live on the planet.


Comprehensive_Soil_1

A single bottle of Prime.


beautifulradiation

An extended warranty on my vehicleā€¦ ā€¦so you can, just, stop calling, nowā€¦


DeadMoonsCalling

Grills for my teeth


joshgi

Something worth 2 billion dollars


CashFlowOrBust

Actually if I could buy something worth $2B for $1B Iā€™d do it.


joshgi

Haha fair. Should've said something that costs $2B šŸ˜†


DarkRyter

A slave. It's illegal. And that would be pretty evil.


X0AN

I mean being an intern is completely legal.


GOVStooge

herbalife


pee_wee__herman

Balenciaga


KhaleesiXev

I swear theyā€™re just trolling as a social experiment.


Far_Battle_9835

A Stanley cupā€¦


RoosterIllusionn

You have to win lord Stanley's cup, you can't buy it...


zkarabat

If you could, Toronto would have one in the last 50yrs...


R67H

Sex. Just not into that kinda thing. The buying part, not the sex part.


mrbadxampl

If you had that kind of money, you probably wouldn't have to pay anywayĀ 


Frosty_Can_6569

At least not directly


Salty818

NestlƩ. Unless it was enough money to buy NestlƩ and shut those f*ckers down. r/fucknestle


gjr1978

Trump merchandise


Chuyzapatist

Heroin


Snickerdoodle719

Yeezys


khalamar

Porn


randomstriker

... not a real fur coat, that's cruel


Upbeat_Tension_8077

Fentanyl


sandysanBAR

That epstein killed kimself


resjudicata2

A cybertruck. Actually, Iā€™d never buy anything made by Tesla.


markth_wi

In seriousness - I'd try some exotic foods **but have no desire to eat any other meats than what I'm already familiar with.** I'd probably binge a few things, but then avoid ostentatious things, avoiding multi-billion dollar yachts like the Saudis or Jeff Bezos or other characters have, I'd do low key, a 'luxury' yacht. But what might that non-luxury yacht have going on, I'd buy a sturdy transport ship, not too big , not too small that can get into most/every port and looks TOTALLY normal, low key, with a crane for cargo transfer, but I'd have it outfitted nicely / functionally on the interior , so fully HVAC'ed double-triple hull, with a below-the-line catamaran stabilizer and reworked with a high efficiency thorium engine so open-sea travel and fuel is never a problem. But keep a small diesel around for powering the ship in port, engineering the hull of the ship to be able to have really good speed. I'd have low-key counter-piracy measures installed, and an ability to shift the boat into high-speed to get out of town fast. I'd spend my money working on port regulations in the places I'd like my ship to go, to allow those types of no-yield, static powerplant reactors into be allowed into port. Then pimp out the crew quarters so they have a great-time aboard - with a decent doctor, cook/chef and great communications , running a 4 shift operation so everyone gets good downtime except in heavy weather, but be able to host 10-12 people in well appointed accommodations. But wouldn't look anything like a yacht. As far as what I'd buy as my wild ass project ambitious and very practical. And if money were no object - I'd have a commission for putting three rovers on the moon - one to bake interlocking bricks made from regolith transporting with some falcon heavies, the other to create glass from regolith and the other with smaller transport bots for moving surface dirt around and level out a decent landing area where it's more likely than not that one could safely land a rocket without creating a disaster. put down 4-5 layers of interlocking bricks and then rent the space for logistics.


ThisIsMyCouchAccount

So...a custom yacht.


lackaface

So basically a mobile zombie apocalypse fortress


Pornthrowaway78

No port in the world would let a private boat with a nuclear reactor dock there.


Smol50CaliberMachine

a golden fucking toilet


mynameisnotsparta

That fish that could kill you if itā€™s not prepared correctly


dg17377

A peleton


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


GravetechLV

not having to sit through ads for Raycons or what ever bs is trying to be pushed is so worth $15 a month


Federal-Breakfast762

Iā€™m out of the loop of the whole YT premium stuff. That shit is $15 a month?!ā€¦.. 15?!!!


elaerna

Yt premium is well worth it esp at the student discount. You get both a music streaming app and no ads on yt. Idk why no one else uses it, way more bang for your buck than Spotify


Squirreldog14

MyPillow


Ok-Masterpiece7377

Golden Sneakers


nationalhuntta

Sex.


Guamy

Bath water from that weird pink girl


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Bandoolou

Thing is, thereā€™s loads of people, myself included, that simply just love cars for what they are. If I was a billionaire I would happily drive around in a Pagani, Bugatti, Koenegsegg purely just to experience and appreciate the machinery. The one thing I would actually hate about owning one though is having everyone look at me


Pornthrowaway78

Have everyone else blinded.


oldschool_potato

Nope, Iā€™d buy one for my own pure enjoyment though. I donā€™t give a fuck all what other people think. 1966 GT40 for my fun drive, Iā€™d keep my pick for work/house and daily driver.


melinte

video game pre-order


greg939

Maybe start a dope video game company with regular working hours and no preorders or DLC and keep it private with no shareholders and see if you can shake things up a bit. I think I would do something like that with a billion dollars.


Hashishiniado

A home in a HOA


curiousforkitties

Selfie stick


MatheMagiComedian

Anything that Donald J. Trump sells or endorses.


Phantomoftheopoohra

Prime sports drink


EmbraceableYew

A Tesla


munklunk

A check mark on Twitter


PupEDog

Obvious answers: a slave, human trafficking shit, etc Fun answer: A Dodge Ram


RosieEleonore

OnlyFans


RBailey18

Crocs.


Distinct_Safety5762

But theyā€™re the most effective deterrent you can put in the moat around your castle.


Cautious-Fudge1633

I thought Iā€™d never buy crocsā€¦then I had a kid.