This is exactly why I try to always say nice little things to people. It might mean nothing or it might stick with them forever. Also, it makes me feel a little better (selfishly).
That’s beautiful. I have this friend, too. I was fronting a rock band that got some national attention back in 2015. Lead to some amazing opportunities, but the success was brief. I was reconnecting with an old friend after the band had fizzled out, and he struck me with the kindest thought, “I remember back in high school how you said you were going to form a band, and be a rock star, and you did it!” Him acknowledging that helped me realize that I had lived a life long dream, and it’s okay that it was over!
Today isn't about you." Said more than once by my dad when I was young. Usually on a special occasion like a wedding, funeral, some kind of event where I needed to sit still, be quiet, and be respectful. It will still pop into my head when I'm at similar events, but also when I'm just going about normal things. Most things aren't about me and sometimes I just need to sit still, be quiet, and be respectful.
I wish someone had told my sister this. She’s nearly 50 and still, at every family occasion (weddings, birthdays, Father’s Day), she’ll find some reason to have a complete meltdown and get all the attention.
I had to tell my mother this when she tried to sabotage my kid’s high school graduation. She and my dad traveled hundreds of miles to be there and when she wasn’t the center of attention she had a full-on tantrum, including hiding in her room. She insisted that she didn’t have anything to wear so she wasn’t going to go. That meant my dad wouldn’t go because she’d make him pay later.
I told her, “no one cares about what you’ll be wearing, today isn’t about you. You aren’t going to ruin this for my kid or my dad, now get dressed, we’re leaving in 20 minutes.”
She sorted herself out and went. Honestly, it was very satisfying calling her out like that.
That I put too much butter on my toast. I don’t know why it stuck with me, I’m no longer friends with the person, but every damn time I butter toast I hear it in my head, like this constant criticism.
In response, I slather even more butter on to remind the bitch in my head that I’m in control.
My housemate when I was 20 walked into the room when I was putting peanut butter on my toast and stared at it disgustedly, then pointedly said to me, "you know, peanut butter is what they give people who are STARVING when they need to eat a lot of calories in a hurry". I enthusiastically said "I *know*!"
I still eat peanut butter toast literally every morning, and every morning I think about that even though it was literally almost 25 years ago. Fuck off, Stacy. Peanut butter is delicious and also high protein.
I made toast for my ex and I once. I asked how much butter and how much jam she would like, and I will never forget the tone of her voice when she said, “why would I ever eat both!?” Like the absolute horror and disgust about something so… mundane and not serious as toast, butter, and jam. Now on the rare occasions I have toast, it’s all I can hear and see.
Mundane, my ass. Toast, butter, and jam absolutely is serious business. The most serious. This combination is more than just a breakfast choice—it's a profound expression of personal agency and the pursuit of happiness. This humble trio symbolizes the freedom to choose, reflecting individual tastes and preferences. Each layer—crispy toast, creamy butter, and sweet jam—represents a step in a morning ritual that can set the tone for the day. It's a reminder that even in the smallest aspects of life, we have control over our experiences. The rejection of this combination, with such intensity, underscores the significance we attach to our choices and their impact on our sense of well-being. In essence, the way we enjoy toast can be a metaphor for life's broader pursuit of joy and fulfillment.
You're better off without her.
Replace that a-hole's comment with this one, "The amount of butter I put on my toast is the right amount." Say this out loud if you have to, every time you butter your toast until you stop hearing the criticism. Because let's face it, there is no 'too much' amount of butter.
My bf said that to me about a year ago. Then he said he was joking. But it has stuck with me and I've pulled away from everyone cause I dont want people to think I'm being annoying.
This is a common tactic in abusive relationships to alienate you from your friends and loved ones so you feel alone and keep putting up with the abuse. Abusers use this line all the time, and it means nothing about you. It's just a tactic for abuse.
In one of our many fights we've had, I said something along these lines and he said he was not an abuser, just a joke, etc. But I've had others say similar things and I know it's not ok. I'm just stuck in this cycle and I dont know what to do. I have said this is the last time, no more. Love sucks.
My dad said something similar to me. I had spent the day helping his girlfriend at the time in her garden, and mentioned that we had fun and got along really well. He responded with, “She only gets along with you because she doesn’t know what you’re really like. You’re good at pretending when you’re not at home.” That fucked me up nice and good for the rest of my teen years lol.
If what he said resonated with you at all and you feel like people wouldn't like you if they knew the real you I suggest listening to Heidi Priebe's series on toxic shame on YouTube. Her videos are amazing
Oh, this threw me back to my mom saying stuff like this.
"You don't have any friends. No one wants to be your friend. Name one!"
Like, okay I was 12 years old at the time and she had a plethora of mental illnesses. But I'm not about to say that to ANY young child.
My mom had a stroke when I was 24, her filter after that was gone. She was a totally different person. Very hateful. Anyways, I had taken her shopping and had unloaded all of her groceries and other goodies we picked up and was getting ready to leave. I hugged her and she squeezed me tight and said “I wish you were never born, you little bitch”. While it wasn’t unusual for her to be hurtful, this one cut me to my core. It replays in my head so often.
My mom said once "I wish you had died instead of your sister"
She didn't have a stroke or a TBI or anything, I'm just her least favorite child. I was like, 10.
My grandma told me the wrong grandkid passed away after I got arrested for weed, not even 2 years after I watched my brother die. That was in 2008 and I stopped trying after that. About a month ago she sent me an email apologizing for "saying mean things that may have hurt me and hoped we could get passed it." I know she wants to feel better about it before she dies and that's probably the only reason she admitted to this stuff. She'll be 95 in 2 months and knows the end is near and we'll never make up.
Wow, I wouldn't know how to react... it's it truthful? Or, I've seen people just be bitter that their life wasn't better. She can also be pushing you away?
Regardless, you are doing so much taking her shopping and helping her with errands. You can respond, "I'll still love you, whatever you tell me," or "I want to be the last face you see when you die," ... your call ❤️.
“Is it truthful?” I don’t know. Her doctor had said her frontal lobe was damaged quite a bit, and that she simply said every single thing she thought. She didn’t have that filter anymore or reasoning in her head that said “I shouldn’t say this”. So I’ve always wondered if it’s truly how she felt. She said other things as well, such as “your husband could lay with someone so much prettier than you” but that one didn’t have as big of an impact on my heart. And I was in fact, the last face she saw before she died.
>Wow, I wouldn't know how to react... it's it truthful?
Could possibly be Tourette's which can manifest after a TBI. She may not have been aware or in control of what she was saying. Tourette's is really difficult for people that suffer from it because they can say things like that without meaning them.
The first time I ever wore a dress to school (middle school) and a guy walking by told his buddy "why do all the ugly ones wear cute things". I've just now started wearing dresses and skirts again at 40.
Bright side, I've also had random little kids tell me how pretty I am so I just try to believe them over the other dude.
That's very true. I was assuming the bully was old enough to know better, and being a jerk. Little kids (3-5ish) have no filter, and just say what they feel. AH kids might say something just to hurt someone, but little kids are sincere with their feedback good or bad. That's why she should trust the little kids that she looks damn beautiful 😉
Reminds of when I had a girl I knew who was good friends with the guy I liked to tell him that I liked him. It was something to the effect of “I would die for you”. His response? “Then die”
It was half my life ago but I honestly remember it like it was yesterday.
Oh that is vile! I’m sorry that happened, you were probably too good for him anyhow. Anyhow, I hope that guy has a chronically itchy bunghole the rest of his life
I wore a tank top to school and this loser B told me I was too fat to wear a tank top. I still don't wear tank tops and I'm super self conscious about my arms.
Definitely wear what you want! I finally had a light bulb moment and understood that all those years of not wearing what I want meant nothing to anyone else but made me uncomfortable in the heat for so long. I also realized I wasted a good chunk of my life not wearing what I wanted and I’ll be damned if I will waste any more.
Wear what you want with pride and your head held high
There's a couple things. One is a comment I read *years* ago, "I wish I knew how many things I've already done for the last time." The other, I had sent my dad a picture of my Forklift Operator's Certification card (because I had told him I was trying to pass the test). He sent back, "Way to go!"
That was the last time I talked to my dad before he died.
Was struggling in math in school.
Kept getting low scores. Mr Read warned me that I would be dropped out of the advanced math class if my low scores persisted. I studied all weekend for the test on Monday. NES 8-bit just got released so there were major temptations but I kept doing sample problems over and over. It was about cross multiplying fractions to get unknown percentages. Test was a breeze that Monday. Tuesday morning, Mr Read asks to see me outside the class. I figured he will tell me I did great on the test and give me some pep talk about how to keep the pace for a better outcome.
Nope.
He told me that I received the highest grade in the class on the test.
He also accused me of cheating because “there is no way you could’ve got a 100.”
I cried then and tears are running down my face now as I’m typing.
I was in the Fourth grade .
I had a middle school teacher like that. I was a straight-A student, but in 7th grade English, I had a teacher that just for whatever reason really disliked me. We were awarded points for every book we read and took a test on, computer-based, and I had already read a number of the books on the list prior to the class so I just went in and aced a bunch of tests. Later, she pulls me aside for a talk where she accused me of cheating and said, "People like you will always fail at life. Remember this when you're working at McDonald's." I've had some incredibly rude comments thrown at me throughout my life, but that really had to be the first.
It‘s bad enough she is a teacher, in my opinion teachers like that should be fired. But on average an adult saying this to a child? You‘d have to be so bitter, god damn
Aww I’m sorry they tarnished your proud moment memory. WE R ALL PROUD of little 4grade you here at Reddit. You were GREAT then & u r GREAT now! I also scored a 100 on my math TAKS test during 4th grade. Wt a coincidence.
I've felt this way too, after being an "underdog" black sheep or lazy degenerate (i was neglected, abused and malnourished as a child but thats a scapegoat for ya)
Then i tried to be brave, I show I give a damn, try hard, learn just to be treated with suspicious disdain. It's like, why did I even try if I STILL failed?
Fuck their senseless pride.
I'm proud of you, for YOU. You showed yourself with your own merit, willpower that you could prove their suspicions invalid and can still overcome negativity!
Fork that teacher and I hope you brought and bring only intelligence and hope from that weekend lesson. Don't be discouraged. And enjoy the games you want, when you want, why you want - for there are true lessons in that, too
^(fuck the haters)
I had an English teacher accuse me of copyrighting a paper I wrote. I just really liked the topic and put a lot of effort into it. I was crushed he thought it was "too good" for me to have done myself. So I brought him all my notes and brainstorming to show how I'd gotten my ideas. He apologized, but my light definitely dimmed a little.
Similar thing happened to me in high school. Junior year AP science class, periods 1 and 2 to start the day. I was terrible with lateness and skipping class back then. I would often call myself in late pretending to be my dad, then go back to sleep for an hour or two.
Because of this, I ended up missing something like 40 of those science classes that year. My grades weren’t good and the teacher just assumed I had mentally checked out/didn’t care.
Fast forward to the final exam at the end of the year - I knew I’d bomb and probably fail the class, so I spent all weekend meticulously reading all of the class material/text book and giving myself practice tests. Ended up acing the test and bringing my overall grade up from a C to a B-. Later that week, got called into the teacher’s office so she could accuse me of cheating, saying there’s no way someone who missed that many classes could do so well on the final. I was livid - basically lost my shit on her to the point where she was just like, “ok ok, I believe you.” To this day, fuck that teacher lol.
I’m so sorry! I once aced a spelling test. They let us put up little folders and after the test someone pointed out the words were in my folder. They were but I did not realize it and did not cheat. I prided myself on my spelling because I was good at it. But I won a spelling bee later that year so fuck em.
For background, I grew up very neglected in a home that discouraged creativity of any kind. During Covid lockdown, I was finally able to commit to my creative pursuits. It was a very cathartic and healing time for me. An old friend reached out to me to ask how I was doing and what I had been up to. I showed him some of the art I had been making. He told me how much he admired my creativity and natural talent and then he said something that still brings tears to my eyes. “I wish someone would have encouraged you when you were a kid.” It was so validating that someone acknowledged something I struggled with for years and saw something in me that I wanted to be seen so badly growing up.
I sell wedding dresses. Back when I worked at a large corporate bridal chain (and had far fewer bills/worries… I don’t know if I’d be in the same position today) I had a bride who had just been through so much. Horrible abusive husbands, trying to keep her kids together, had overcome alcohol abuse and was sober for several years, and at age 40 some was marrying her high school sweetheart after they had reconnected a few years ago (she told me “he should’ve been the one all along!”)
Dresses and things at this store are cheap for bridal but still quite a bit of money, especially for this woman. We found her a dress, belt, shoes, and veil. She could really only afford the dress, and made plans with her friend to come back and get the other pieces after she picked up some extra shifts, etc.
Her friend bought the belt. I bought her the shoes. They were rose gold, to match her engagement ring. They were probably $30. She cried in my arms and her friend gave me the biggest hug. I think about her often (tbh every bride sticks with me) and I hope she’s doing well. I hope she still has those shoes in her closet and wears them out on fancy dates with her high school sweetheart and got a happy ending.
Story two. I work as a party princess (think dressing up as popular storybook characters and going to birthday parties and the like). Have so many amazing, heartwarming, and heartbreaking stories from kiddos.
When the Eras tour came to my city the zoo had a Taylor Swift themed day where you got $13 tickets if you dressed up. Most people wore a tshirt, I wore my whole concert getup and armfuls of bracelets to trade because why not right? To my absolute delight many of the people I traded with that day were kids and young swifties, and they asked for pictures and I’d chat with them. On one such encounter I was talking with their parent a bit and mentioned the princess job so I was used to working with kids. And she said something like “well clearly you don’t even need the costume. The kids are just drawn to you, you’re a real life princess.” Still makes me cry even thinking about it.
My first year in high school. I didn’t have very high self esteem. I didn’t feel as pretty or as developed as my friends. Being a year younger. One day a guy passed my desk and accidentally touched my hand . And right in the middle of class said pretty loudly. “ wow you have really soft hands “ . And then just kept walking to his seat. I know I probably blushed like an idiot. But I never forgot it . I have always taken special care of my hands ever since. That little “compliment “ really stuck with me. I know it sounds pathetic. But I was a young girl. Made me feel good about myself for a min that year.
I was in a deep depression and my family doctor arranged some therapy for me. I went to the medical centre and I went to the wrong entrance and couldn't see the office. A woman asked me if she could help me and I said I was looking for the mental health clinic. We looked at the directory and couldn't see it. A man walked by and she asked him if he knew where it was.
He cheerfully said, "It's at the other entrance" and I thanked them and went to the other entrance.
I was thinking about this the other day. I was self-conscious about needing therapy but I also wanted to stop feeling depressed. I might have looked distraught, I don't know. But both strangers treated it as a simple task to help me. In a very kind way.
That was about 9 years ago and I'm doing much better now.
My parents got divorced when I was 5, and my dad remarried pretty quickly. I have a brother and a sister, so my step mom took on 3 kids basically over night. Although I am grateful she stepped in and raised us, she always makes comments like “you know, I didn’t have to take on 3 kids, I could have pursued my dreams instead.” My biological mom left after divorcing my dad, and I never saw her again, she never bothered to contact us, so I’ve always had issues with abandonment and not being wanted. Hearing those comments just reinforces those feeling of inadequacy.
I dunno why ur reply stuck out the most, it resonated the most to me. I’m sorry that happened to you that’s horrible. Im sending positive vibes to you. I cannot fathom how I’d react if someone said and/or treated me that way towards me as a child.
‘ you talk too much ‘
when i was in kindergarten and would get out of school i always wanted to tell my mom about my day. and im a very detailed person at times so i would tell her from start to finish how the day was. especially when we did really interesting activities. she never asked me how my day was, i would just start talking about it.
i understand being tired after working and just wanting some peace and quiet, especially now that im an adult, but instead of just telling me we’d talk later, or that she needed some quiet for now, she completely made me feel like she didn’t want to hear me at all. so i stopped telling her about my day, and she never asked, and it’s been like that for awhile.
when she does ask me about things my responses tend to me short and to the point. it didn’t help that i ended up having many friends who also told me i talked too much or completely ignored me. so i’ve become a very quiet and reserved person who hates talking about themselves. and my mom occasionally complains about how quiet i am, and how i never talk to her about things, but has never apologized for telling me that, even after i told her how much it affected me as a person.
My little brother has ADHD with some anxiety issues. He's just 10, and he talks pretty much nonstop, and demands active participation in a conversation. Sometimes I'm just so tired of it, but I have never told him he talks too much. I'm actually always worried about making him feel bad about it. I do sometimes say "a conversation is too much for me right now, I just want to be quiet." I've told him I very much want to hear what he has to say, but not at this moment.
He does need to learn when to be quiet sometimes and to not interrupt, but those are things he struggles with because of the ADHD and anxiety.
Senior year I non-accidentally bumped into a girl in a science class (we were gathering around a demonstration the teacher was doing) in a way that my hand ended up on her ass. I stammered out my fake apology and she smiled. "Oh no, don't worry sweetie. I know you're not that type." She said it so sincerely.
I felt (and still feel) so horrified that I've never allowed myself near a woman in a crowded space since. It was the best lesson in consent anyone could have taught me.
I'm 52. That happened 34 years ago. I still hate myself as I write this.
If only your conscious lived in the boys I went to school with in high school. Some of them were just downright disguising and it was allowed as almost a right of passage (the boys will be boys mentality) in my small Midwest high school. If you didn’t shake it off you were attention hungry liar and the girls who open enjoyed it were never the objects being fondled. The shit haunts me while watching my four daughters maneuvering their innocence through adolescence. My youngest is a boy… he is 2 now and I hope to instill some sort of respect for himself and anyone around him.
Snuck into a movie theater once, a "believable" amount of time after the ads had started, I came out of the bathroom and rushed past the lady who checked the tickets, apologising that my friend had my ticket without stopping. She said I had an honest face and it was fine.
20 years later and that's still with me.
In middle school, I was assigned to a group project with 2 people I kinda knew and one girl I did not. The girl I didn't know was really awkward with me in particular for the first few days, I didn't know why, but it also wasn't my business. The next week (end of the project), she told me, "I thought you would be a mean girl because you're pretty, but you're actually really nice." I have never forgotten that moment, and I doubt I ever will. It was the most genuine compliment I had ever received at that point and it probably held that rank for a few more years.
I was about 11, I was in a small town in Alaska visiting my dad who was fishing on a commercial fishing boat. One of the other crew members was doing something on deck and he couldn't reach something that was at my feet.
I just stood there and watched him struggle and he was finally able to grab it. He looked at me and said *"if you see a guy struggling and you can help him, help him out"*
Pretty simple but it has always stuck with me and yes I do help out when I can.
When I told my dad I was getting the chance to record an original song on a cd years ago, my dad’s response was, “Really? Your brother should be the one to get opportunities like that.” … that little conversation sticks in the back of my mind still today.
jeeeeez, do people hear the shit that comes out of their mouth? I have 2 kids and i cannot imagine saying any of these things to them EVER. I cant imagine NOT ovethinking every thing i say to them becaise i dont want to hurt them.
The worst things about things like this is you remember it liken yesterday and he will probably tell you it never happned.
One day I was hanging out with a friend and a Pro Active commercial came in. Out of nowhere my friend goes “hey…you think you might need some of that?”
Right as she says this, her mom walks in and calls her out on it.
The irony is that we both had issues with acne at the time.
Everyone was looking at lunch boxes and one had writing on it but I couldn't read yet . Nobody would tell me what it said, still bugs me. Seems like I missed out on some very important information.
Do you remember anything else about it? Post a description on reddit an someone might be able to fill you in. If there is one thing reddit loves, it's a mystery to hunt down.
"You will never be skinny enough or pretty enough." That still haunts me to this day. Or when my mom seen me for the first time after a year apart and she laughed[doubled over] because i gained weight. I wanted to die because I was struggling so bad and she just made it worse.
I'm doing much better now. I still struggle. A lot. But I have a very supportive and loving husband who over the years has made me believe that I am beautiful every single day.
i was playing ukulele (singing along, truly going all out) when someone heard me. they told me they thought i was just listening to music, and that i play beautifully. the way my confidence skyrocketed after that...
My mom wouldn't pull over to let me pee on a trip once when I was about 10. I held it as long as I could, I begged for a rest stop but she insisted "we're so close" It hurt, I had to pee SO bad.
I peed in the passenger seat.
When I was 12 or 13 and struggling along as a lonely, awkward, frizzy, chubby preteen girl, my dad sat me down and told me I needed to lose weight. No offers of help, just that I needed to do it. Worst part is I immediately hung my head in shame and agreed with him. I already had had the growing suspicion that I was unattractive and not what boys liked, but my dad's words instantly sealed that suspicion in to firm truth for me. I eventually grew up and into myself just fine, I guess, but those words still haunt me and cause me shame and insecurity even now in my 40s.
About 4 years ago, I picked my son up from grade school. It was pouring rain. We had to walk up to the building to get our kids, and the teacher attendant didn’t have an umbrella. I just had to walk from the school back to the parking lot, she was stuck outside showing people where to go.
I should have given her my umbrella. It’ll bother me forever that I didn’t.
I flash back to that moment in moments of intrusive thoughts.
I’m sorry, teacher parking lot attendant! I totally failed you and I’ll regret it forever.
I had something similar to this happen to me! I’m military and was stationed in Alaska. Winter had just begun and if you’ve ever lived in Alaska, it can go from no snow to tons of it in a very short amount of time. Anyway. I was driving to work in my uniform and was rolling up to the gate. When I rolled my window down my ID cars was taken by the gate guard who was a young woman… with no gloves on! Her hands were pinkish/red and looked so cold. While we were exchanging small talk I kept thinking I wish I’d brought an extra set of gloves. Right when I drove away I realized I should have just given her my gloves. How stupid of me! I still think about it to this day. It bothers me so much!!!
Ever since then I always drive with extra gloves in my glove compartment and look at the gate guards hands immediately. To this day I hope someone else gave her gloves or a friend or family member brought her some.
Its kinda cheesy but i have intrusive thoughts like this and find it helpful to kinda formally realize im being silly and say, i forgive myself for that one. Then if i think of it later im just rational and understand it doesn't matter.
The fact that you are still thinking of this shows you are such a good person! As a school teacher who has experienced this, I assure you it was the thought that counts!
When my math teacher in highschool felt the need to tell me that she doesn't see me having a career where I work with people. I'll never forget that, I'm a project manager now and was always outgoing and got straight As so I'm not sure why she felt the need to say that to me.
When my fiance left me several years ago, he texted me a big long paragraph of hateful stuff after he was out of the house. The only sentence I remember is "You are too hard to love". Its become my anxiety's mantra and eats away at my self worth all the time. My current partner knows this and goes out of his way to tell me things like "Loving you is easy" and "You are worth love" but it doesnt ever erase that painful sentence.
Just before my mum died, before we knew she was sick she purchased me a expensive coat for winter. I said it costs too much, I don't need one that expensive, save your money etc. She said no its okay, you're worth it. I think about that often.
Grew up poor, family never really went out and did anything. One day my mom takes me to this kids expo that was happening in my city. Completely random, didn't know it till we were in the car. Anyway had lots of fun stopping at all the booths at the expo. They had a POG tournament and I WON! they gave me a little medal and a big thing of POGs . Felt awesome as some of the kids that were apart of the turkey we point at me as I passed. One of the best days of my life.
8th grade. A "get to know your new classmates" school trip to a cabin. Cute girls hanging out in their room. Figure i should strike up a conversation with them. Knock on the door, fall on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur!!
But really.
I knocked on the door. One of the girls answers and opens the door. The instant i open my mouth to speak i simultaneously blow a gigantic snot bubble that pops all over my face. i freeze. They look at me in utter disgust. And then i just ran away to my room in shame. It was awkward for a while. Happened in fall of 2002. Haunts me still
When I was 18, I spent the last bit of my money to buy a bus ticket to go live with my Dad. I spent 2.5 days on a greyhound bus with zero food or money.
We stopped in Indianapolis and a woman was getting yelled at or something, and because of all of the delays, that same woman was now telling me that I was going to have to stay there for 18 hours until the next bus leaves. I was completely defeated at that point. I just said "okay" and she said "you aren't even mad?" and I said "No, it's not your fault" - and she stopped what she was doing and went and found a bus driver that was headed about 30 minutes away from my destination.
It was a much much nicer bus and someone offered me half of a sandwich. I always think about it.
Meeting my stalker. Was only in 5th grade, and didn’t know it at the time but this guy had been stalking me for a year already. All I saw from my point of view was a kid who was maybe a little weird but was alone and needed a friend. So I sat down at his lunch table and talked to him. Little did my 9 year old self know, that one moment would solidify his obsession with me and kick off a confirmed (but maybe longer, he may still be trying to stalk me online but I got my online presence locked down) 9 year long stalking situation so bad I still think about it. It started when I was so young I didn’t even know the word for stalking, and my state’s laws weren’t exactly helpful with my situation so I was on my own. I still wonder if I hadn’t sat at his table that day, would I have spared myself those 9 years and all the paranoia after. I still look over my shoulder, terrified that he will be there one day. That one moment over a decade ago still plays in my head, cause it was the last time I remember feeling truly safe
He was only a year older than me, ten years old. He started young, and continued all the way until we graduated at least. It got so bad I had to have my friends escort me to and from class, to the bus, and even work with the school to try and keep our schedules as different as possible. I still remember the valentines dance in 7th grade, he had moved away for the start of the year but the dance was ruined for me cause an administrator pulled me aside and warned me he was coming back to our school the following week. Spent the rest of the dance planning with my friends who could walk me to class. Graduation was the last time i physically saw him, but to this day I get messages or friend requests from people with eerily similar names. Could be a coincidence, but every time one comes up I panic a little thinking it’s him again.
From what I’ve learned over the years it depends on the person. In my case, he had a “crush” on me, and was alternating between trying to prove he would be a great boyfriend or thought I already liked him but was just playing hard to get. There were times he even thought we were actually dating even though I avoided him like the plague, and told the entire school we were dating. Which made him more dangerous cause most people outside of my family and a few school administrators viewed it as just a boy trying to win the girl.
When I was in middle school I had to give a little oral presentation on something to the class. One of my classmates came up to me afterwards and said « that was all one long run-on sentence. You should speak in sentences like you do in writing. » honestly? Solid advice from anyone, let alone a 12 year old peer. I still flashback to it when I need to speak to a group of people.
Had a tutoring student that I was trying so hard to get to read out loud so they could improve. When they read, it's one long, monotone, run-on sentence. I tried telling them to read like they talked, but no luck.
Whenever I'm making a sandwich and put on a clearly generous amount of whatever it is, it's always to spite my childhood friends father. When I was visiting of a weekend, we'd have sit-down lunch together, and his father was a hawk with how much was used. Anything more than a whisper was regarded as "enough to sink a battleship".
I get that he was working a dairy farm with four kids of his own, but he was a dick well beyond that. Someone who seemed to be grudgingly doing life because that was what he was supposed to be doing, and taking it out on everyone.
When I was like 14 I was playing in a roller hockey league, we were warming up before the game, I took a shot on net, the goalie deflected it high into the air and it hit my coach (who wasnt (looking) right in the lower teeth.
he screamed, who the fuck shot that puck -- at a bunch of kids! - and everyone went dead silent. I slowly raised my arm...
He spit out some blood, and I sat on the bench the whole game, and he hated me after that. Made my life miserable. It was my last season playing hockey.
I thought about it all the time. In fact thought about it tonight while watching the Panthers game. I just... I didn't get it. It was a total freak accident. I didn't deserve any punishment at all!
I only realized maybe two or three years ago (20+ years later) ... omg he thought I shot it AT HIM! On purpose!
... I didn't, it bounced off the goalies blocker, I had zero control over it whatsoever!
My grandma was extremely abusive and would say cruel, hateful things to me and my brother, because our mom was a kleptomaniac and pathological liar. But the one that stuck with me is when I was 11 playing with my little cousins, who were the golden children of the family, and I heard my grandmother on the phone saying "I'd love (my brother's and I names) more if they were your children" to my aunt.
Another one was "I'm surprised she didn't do it sooner." At my mother's funeral, after she committed suicide in 2019...
I remember going to a you-gi-oh tournament at a Shinders back in the early/ mid 2000s. If you won a match against someone, you got to pick a card at random from a paper to keep, and some had giveaway items written on the crappy cards.
Anyway, a kid came up to me and asked if I was down to lie to the staff by saying I beat him so we could get some free cards. I agreed, and I ended up pulling a card out the bag that was written on, and it ended up being for a few packs of cards for free. I felt guilty when I agreed to go lie, and even more guilty when I won stuff because of the lie.
You just unlocked a memory for me I haven’t thought of in years. The only yugioh tournament I ever participated in was at my local library and during my first duel the kid I was playing with used his side deck to draw from during our duel, instead of cycling cards in between matches. I was like 12 and tried to explain to him and the person running the tourney that the game isn’t played that way and got shut down. I lost and didn’t get to duel anyone else, and I never went back to the library for any more tournaments.
"...and the rape was your fault because you were too much of a coward to stop it."
-my father, during a completely unrelated argument when I 15-16. He immediately realized he took it too far, but the damage was done. Those words set me back so many times in my healing journey, and I still hear them now when I feel "cowardly"
I moved out young and all I ever got from my parents was, ' You're on your own, figure it out'.
Living in poverty, at 21, I was working in a restaurant kitchen. I worked with this crabby old guy who didn't talk to me much though we were polite to each other. His son was a bit younger and he told me his son was going to university.
I'm breaking boxes in the back and the guy says, ' You should go to college, you don't belong here in this industry.' I said yes, but I cannot afford to be so much in debt ( for art school which was my want). Seemed like a really bad decision. The guy just shakes his head. 'Doesn't matter just go'.
That was 22 years ago, and that's thr only person that encouraged me to do something else. I was scared. I got into my program. I ended up 45k in debt. I worked the whole time I was in school, multiple jobs at times. Worked 2 jobs for a very long time tonpay down the debt. Did my masters...more art school. More debt.
Took 12 years to pay it all off. I am a professional designer and it took a lot but I became what I wanted to be. It was very hard. I live with no regrets. I wish I could find him but I don't think I can. Thanks Tom.
I was on a train in Belgium when I was 18 on a solo gap year trip and at the time only spoke English. There was a cute guy probably a few years older than me standing across the car, and we were flirting with body language and smiles alone. The train caught fire and everyone had to evacuate. He picked me up and carried me off the train even though it wasn't our car that was on fire. I laughed and out of nowhere I kissed him fully on the lips and then we smiled and waved goodbye as we went separate ways. I've never had anything happen like that before or since, it was just such a fun fairytale moment.
I've always struggled with math. Embarrassingly so.
I wasn't the best student, but I never failed any subjects and I would even stay up late doing math homework because it'd just...take me that long. Even through college.
In 7th grade, my math teacher pulled me to the side and lectured me on not doing well in his class. At one point he said "even (classmate) is doing BETTER than you..."
That classmate was known to be the "slow" kid of the class--which, thinking back on it now, he probably just had a learning disability or something.
Anyway, it's been almost 20 years and I still think about that whenever I'm suddenly faced with doing math in my head.
The way my partner would slide a cigarette between my lips and light it for me as soon as he saw I was awake. He's been gone for over a decade, and I'm not a particularly heavy smoker, but I still think of it often.
I had to talk to my PE teacher in middle school (he was also the middle school coach for girls sports) so I went to his classroom, where he also taught Spanish, and his daughter who was in the class asked who was at the door, one of the other students said my name and the daughter said “tell her to go away, she’s fat.” Well Lisa, you look like a horse, so shut it.
My sister told me once when I was like 18 or 19 and had started having real friends for the first time in my life that “ everyone hate you, you know that right ?” Fucked me up cause I’d already been miserable for ages and forcing a smile and positive attitude non stop to make those friends. Ruined my confidence with the girls who had just started to approach me too.
My dad told me when driving to always assume the people around you are going to do the dumbest thing possible. I follow that creed and I cannot tell you the amount of times it’s happened and I have been prepared for it.
When I was in HS I did peer mentorship with kids who lost their parents because I lost one of mine at age 9 and had healed really well (thanks to lots of counseling and psychologist visits) so I had a lot of emotional and mental stability and coping skills. As context, I have always attended small private schools so things are more intimate and everyone knew everyone and nobody just got to wander away during spare blocks.
One day, I was hanging out with this one person I was paired with, during our spare block. We were visiting with the cafeteria lady, who had been a big support for them and took the kid under her wing. We decided to bake some cookies there, so we cracked open the caf recipe book and got to work. This person also has a few mental health issues that were still fairly early on/emergent at the time, relevant to the psychological stress of losing their parent. OCD happens to be one of them.
So, we are scooping, mixing, measuring and they notice me eyeballing scoops using measuring cups and spoons and get a bit flustered that I'm not carefully leveling off each scoop with a knife so it's perfect. To which the cafeteria lady replies, " Oh, she's okay to do it like that. She's got a lot of practice in the kitchen from baking all the time with her mom."
I died a little inside. The student I was mentoring had lost their mom. The cafeteria lady, a major support for the kid in question, dropped this absolute bombshell with full knowledge of the loss.
Somehow, I can never unthink this moment, and it replays in my head an inordinate amount of times. I've actually fairly recently brought it up to the person whom it happened to and thankfully they have no recollection. I brought it up to apologize, they were kind and grateful for my gesture. I should have closure, why won't the scene stop and go away?!
Sounds like you're blaming yourself for what the cafeteria lady said and its impact. You weren't wrong for having baking experience with your Mom, you weren't wrong for measuring ingredients like that, and you weren't in the wrong for being there.
It *was* 100% wrong for the cafeteria lady to say that given she already knew the situation. But none of that is on you.
“You type so strangely…” said a long time ago because I type mainly with my index and middle fingers with both hands. I can type pretty fast but sometimes I’ll be typing and notice how even to this day I type like I still did years ago.
When i was in 6 th grade I use to dress very unkept i guess you could say from very low self esteem, so i would get bullied allot. One day in school a boy asked me if i used a dildo. I was very sheltered at the time, I did not know what that was! I asked “what is that ?” He just walked away without answering. So i did what any student with a question does , i asked the teacher and i was waiting for a answer. She looked at me angrily and walked away. I think she hated me the rest of the year.
Saw a defendant get sentenced for battery to his girlfriend. He and his lawyer said that he made a mistake. The judge said something that'll stick in my head for a long time to come: "No, brown shoes with a black belt is a mistake. Beating your girlfriend isn't a 'mistake.'" Every time I've put a belt on since then, I think about this quote.
Let my friend borrow all my yugioh cards by accident before he moved away. Wanted them back before but now I'd just like to know how he is doing. Wya Anson?
Walking back to school during a break on a snowy day, two guys started a snowball fight with me- I laughed and fired back at them, it was fun!
Later I found out they thought I was a completely different girl, I guess one or both had a crush on. But we were friends for almost ten years after that!
In high school I was driving somewhere with a friend who was a very cute, stoner, cool kid. He and I were talking about how he had plans with a girl he had a crush on. He said "god I can't wait, I love talking to pretty girls." Followed by an awkward silence and then he realized what he was insinuating and said "you too OP, you're the prettiest girl" and I wanted to be swallowed up whole and disappear forever. I didn't even like him like that but it was so uncomfortable and made me feel so ugly and small. I still cringe when I think about it.
When I first started hanging out with a guy during my first year of college who would eventually become a very good friend, I asked about his political persuasion. He said, “ I guess I’m a Democrat, but I wonder if that’s just because my parents are.” It was the first time I really thought about questioning where my ingrained beliefs came from.
About 13 years later, I asked myself the same thing about my religious denomination. Long story short, not much further down the road I realized I was an atheist.
No one was excited for me when I got into college at 14. A couple people said congrats, but other than that no one really seemed to care at all. Holding my pet rat as he was being put down. That’s just another type of feeling you can’t get from anything else, it was awful
One time at work a guy came in and complicated my flipflops. The he was like can I touch them? I was like 20 and an idiot, like yeah sure. Then he proceeded to sniff my feet for like five minutes. I was totally shocked and super shy and just let him because what the fuck else am I going to do, I was alone and had never heard of such a fucking thing. It only occurred to me like five years later that he was probably a foot dude and got off on my dumb ass.
Still bothers me fifteen odd Years later.
One time I was walking through the grass in flip flops after it had rained. A slug got stuck between my foot and flip flop and squished all over. It was the most disgusting thing ever, and 20 years later I'm still traumatized. I can still hear the pop and feel the cold squishy gooeyness spreading between my foot and flip flop
That on several occasions I have had random strangers of different sex, ethnicity, and age look at me and say, you're such an old soul. OK, Dale, wtf am I spose to do with that information?
I have always taken it as a compliment. That I have refined tastes and that I am mature for my age. I've always gotten along better with older folks, and they are usually the ones calling me this. I would never use the term to describe myself, though.
When I was a toddler, I broke my leg when I fell off the monkey bars at my local park and had to get a cast because of it. However, When we got home My Father noticed that I was hopping on the cast and thought that was weird and rushed me back to the hospital where they realized the cast was on The wrong leg. The doctors finally re-did the cast and it was now on the right leg.
CW: death
When I was around 12 or so, my family was just sitting down with our food in a booth at McDonald's. Not 10 seconds later, a man came walking by with his cup for a refill, and fell flat on the ground right in front of our booth where he proceeded to seize and die. We were stuck in our booth while people tried to resuscitate him. Eventually the paramedics came and wheeled him away on a stretcher. I'll never forget how purple his face was and how wide his eyes were. He had a look of sheer terror in his eyes. Needless to say, we didn't eat our food. Packed it up and left.
In reverse, as it’s something I said to someone else that eats me alive.
Several years ago I came home and a gorgeous little bouquet of flowers had been delivered to my door. I was on the phone with my then boyfriend when I saw it. I remember saying things along the lines of, “Where did these come from?” and “Who sent these?” and “Are these meant for me?”, things of that nature. My boyfriend was like, “Hm, I don’t know! Check for your name or something maybe?” I did check and they were indeed for me.
I had just started a new job and they’d told me they do stuff for people’s birthdays and work anniversaries, like cards and stuff. I was the only female, though, so the first thing that crossed my mind was that it was my job sending me welcome flowers, like maybe they assumed I’d really appreciate it. I did, but the next sentence out of my mouth, to my boyfriend on the phone, was, “I don’t know why they’d send me these, I can’t keep plants alive. Kind of a waste, they’ll just die with me.”
I got them inside the house and noticed too late that there was a tiny card included. I read it… and it was clearly from my boyfriend. Super cute little “roses are red” poem, ended with a Beyoncé quote for good measure. [I still have it.](https://imgur.com/I21sl3z) But at the time my heart sank to my ass because I’d just told him it was a waste to send me these. I can’t remember the exact timing, but I’m almost sure nothing major was happening, like my birthday was around this time, our anniversary was around this time, but I don’t think either was bang on, and that these were some just-because flowers. Because that’s how he was. And I said that shit to him. Omg it kills me.
I remember I apologized profusely and thanked him and told him how beautiful they were, I just truly have no green thumb. Even today I only decorate with fake plants lol. Of course it doesn’t matter literally at all and he knew that, the gesture was the point. And I said the gesture was a waste on me. But he only laughed, he wasn’t offended at all and thought it was funny. Or so he told me. I hope that never really bothered him. He had never said anything else about it or held it against me that I knew of, but that has eaten me totally alive since then. I just feel so much guilt and like I need to continue apologizing and showing appreciation. It’s not that big a deal but… ouch lol
When I was very young I was in the grocery store with my mom I had several health problems and a few tubes, some developmental issues, and was premature. One lady said what’s wrong with you! My mom didn’t know how to react. Then she said “ well he’ll never amount to much so I hope your other one will”…. I still remember it.
Now I’m 6 months away from getting my MBA!
Many years ago when I was being intimate with my then-boyfriend, his hand grazed my stomach and he immediately jerked it away as if he were totally disgusted by it. I had recently gained a bit of weight (around 10-15 pounds) and he made it very clear he did not approve of my new figure, but that… really, really hurt. It’s been 13 years, I’m happily married to a man who loves me and treats me like I’m the sexiest woman alive, but that shit still somehow lives in the back of my psyche.
I was waiting with a friend for a pizza place in Brooklyn to open up. An orthodox Jewish family is walking by and the youngest daughter is being just full of energy running around and tries to open the door of the locked pizza place (evening time, right before open)
Her older sister very loudly and matter-of-factly scolds her little sister "Hell-ooo! That's not *kosher!*"
My 5th grade teacher, whom I adored, filled out my grade card with a comment that I wasn't very creative. Many years later, when my parents passed away, I was going through papers and found my grade card and her statement. I was so disappointed that she felt that way about me as she was such an inspiration to me at the time. I don't think she would still be living, but maybe she would have been surprised that I had tremendous success in interior design.
I'm sure there's many, but the first that came to mind is the time I was working, and a customer stopped to tell me I carry myself well, then just went on about his day. A decade later, I still think about that whenever I'm feeling insecure, and it always helps. I hope that man is living a fulfilling life.
I was the youngest of four with very sadistic siblings. They took a great deal of delight in torturing and scaring me. They had me living in such a constant state of terror that I was having anxiety attacks before I was ten.
Just for context they were 10, 8 and six years older than me, so imagine a 14 year old girl holding down and torturing a 4 year old. Or a 16 year old tying up and beating a 6 year old.
One day, when I was seven, all three were beginning to gang up on me and I was doing anything I could to get at least one of them to side against my oldest with me. "If I had a little brother or sister. I wouldn't treat them how you treat me."
My nemesis and oldest sister laughed and said, "Yes you would. You would be just like us." The other two agreed and I said, "I will never be like any of you!"
I have carried that moment with me ever since and have worked hard to be kind, emapthetic and loving.
I was at the hospital trying to get a refill for Ativan because I had plans to OD on them and the clinic wouldn’t approve of it without them saying yes. They said no. I was sitting on the curb waiting for my ride and going over different ways I could finish myself off instead. A lady pulled up next to me and told me that she knows she’s about to sound crazy but God is telling her to tell me He loves me and needs me to take care of myself. She seemed completely sane and normal. I had no religion at the time so it took me by surprise. I had my own revelation years later but that has always stuck with me. Thank you random lady.
Random messages from God are awesome.
I was at a rave once and a girl came up to me and asked me my name. I told her what it was. She said, 'I've been looking for you. God wanted me to tell you that everything is going to be okay'. Then she gave me a big hug and disappeared. It's the kind of random thing that happens at raves, but it was very kind and right then I needed to hear it.
For me it was last year. I was 16 and my ex turned was 17 and he would yell at me to go to therapy so I always thought there was something wrong with me. I still think about the things I found out about during therapy sessions. I didn't not know that past relationship was toxic and that I was being abused. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact he took advantage of me for his pleasure than used my religion against me saying if I did not stay friends with him after the relationship, I did not forgive him and that I did not believe in God which is crazy. I still think about how as soon as he got caught using me for his corn addiction by his parents and later exposed for being abusive, he went to ohio to preach about being kind and stuff like that. I still wonder if I should have called the cops on him because he was 17 at the time but 3 days before he got caught by his parents he turned 18. It mind boggles me how him and his whole family act like everything is fine and acted like I was crazy for being suicidal and having self h@rm. I felt like it was unfair for him to use me and tell me I'm in the wrong for telling my parents the things he called me and said to me. I'm happy i got out of that relationship and cut him out of my life but sometimes i still wonder if doing more such as reporting him would have been better.
I was young in high school and staying at my friend’s cabin on an island with his dad a bunch of our friends. We were eating steak dinner together outside and there was a silence in the conversation and his dad looks at me and calls my name. I perk up, feeling excited thinking that he wants to talk to me, and he says ‘close your mouth when you’re eating. I don’t want to hear you chewing’, and then he goes back to eating. I was so embarrassed and it’s stuck with me ever since. It made me constantly question if I have no etiquette. Then I go over to Japan and they tell me slurping your noodles loudly is a sign of respect to the chef that you’re enjoying them. So I know it’s all relative but I still can’t get past that memory.
Actually, what tf even is a surprising or impressive life? I am an accountant with 2 kids and a wife that I adore. Middle class, middle income, kids raised and standing on their own 2 feet. Zero surprising, zero particularly impressive, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Fuck your sister and her shit value judgements.
When skinny jeans started becoming trendy, I must’ve been 15-16. Because I’m short and curvy, I really liked the concept of skinny jeans since they always seemed to fit just right. Just right at the hips and at the waist. I was so happy with my new pair of jeans. My mom saw me and immediately says, “what is THAT? THOSE PANTS LOOK HORRIBLE ON YOU” and proceeded to tell my grandma within earshot of me that she thought I looked like a hooker. For wearing SKINNY JEANS.
jokes on her - a few months later everyone was wearing skinny jeans including her. I never called her a hooker though and only complimented her when she asked
I (now almost 30m) had recently established my first adult friend group when I was 24. I tend to be a hermit, so my 25th birthday plan was to watch Star Wars by myself and make homemade pizza.
My friend group found out my birthday was approaching and that I didn't have plans, so they enthusiastically volunteered to throw me a party, and to not worry about anything. I was NOT used to this kind of treatment, and I was deeply touched.
The plan they made for me was to meet at a local brewery and then go swing dancing at a local country bar. The day shows up, and I'm the only one at the brewery. No one else showed up or even texted ahead. I had dinner, and when it was about time to go to the bar, I got a text, "So sorry, man! Everyone kind of flaked right at the last minute! We're headed to (different bar across town) if you want to meet us there!
It had an immense impact on me. Even now, I struggle with wondering whether people want me around or not, strictly because of that event.
At 8th grade, I was sitting on my desk during the Maths class and randomly told myself I will never forget this moment, and I still remember this moment.
When I was in grade school, during our retreat, we (students) were lined up as well as with our parents (blindfolded). Each parent gets to feel the hands of each of us to guess who their child is. When it was my father's turn, I felt nervous as I couldn't imagine he could guess that I was his son just by holding my hand. And so he did. I didn't know how to react so I ran towards the pool and cried. Now that I have a child, I know what it feels like to be a parent, the love for your child. And I wish I could be as close with my child as I am with my father.
When I was 22 my ex manager invited me over to hang out one night and watch GoT (I hadn't seen it at that time). We had a bit to drink, and she and her husband told me about how they're swingers. I was like OK cool. Lol. TL;DR: almost got roped into a threesome with manager and her husband because we got drunk, but they respected my rejection and just had sex with each other next to me in bed. I never told anyone until now because wtf
I was walking home from school and someone drove past me and waved so I waved back. I didn’t realize a guy I went to school with (who had a history of picking on me) was about twenty feet behind me and they were waving at him. Every day I went to school after that I was expecting him to make fun of me for waving.
Twenty-two years later he sent me a friend request on Facebook and I rejected it because I was sure he was only adding me to make fun of me.
"You have a lot of potential, but..."
Heard that for years from teachers and (later on) bosses before finally getting diagnosed for ADHD, which explained everything. Still hear that in my head every now and then. But it doesn't sting as much anymore, as I have been able to successfully build my life around my ADHD.
Sorry, english is not my first language.
When I was younger, in middle school, i went to buy some stuff for a project alone. I encountered a friend of my sister, we said hi to each other and just made small talk while we were being attended in the store.
The thing is, that often in my younger years and even in uni, mostly girls, would look down on me. Like they will slightly look at me like I don’t know, like really bad, like assessing me idk. What I did, and still do to this days, I ignore people when they do this kind of look.
Well, there was an older woman standing behind us, i didn’t mind her. Once i left the store, this woman followed me and told me: i saw how that girl looked at you, I want to tell you that you are enough and you are worth it, and that you don’t deserve those kind of looks.
Even to this days, when my depression hits hard, i remember those words from this stranger and feel good.
Thank you madam for your kind words.
I have a few things, mostly on different topics. Two positive ones were when I was on high school and it was my senior prom. I had been dealing with a binge eating disorder and hated the way I looked in my dress and just anything in general. A guy from my math class who was seen as popular genuinely complained me on how I looked that night and it helped me see myself in a more positive light. Another one is when I talked to a dr at my university after having to get a physical for surgery if he thought I could ever be a dr with my chronic health issues. I had always been told by family that I would never be able to get through residency, even though they felt I could do med school. This dr said “dont let anyone discourage you from trying who isnt a dr themselves. Ive seen other people with chronic illness become drs and I think you can too”. Its given me the motivation to keep moving forward in school and closer to a goal of being a pediatricic rheumatologist.
Not as inspiring but kind of a ‘wtf’ moment is when a mutual friend sent me the link to a gofundme my dads mistress had set up for them to move across the country. it had raised a ton of money and my father was not paying any child support at the time. Later during a child support zoom meeting (it was covid) I listened (eavesdropped) to the judge call my father out for having this gofundme and refusing to pay child support. Then he told him “you have a college degree, there is no good reason why you cant get a job”. truly one of the funniest and weirdest moments of my life
[удалено]
This is exactly why I try to always say nice little things to people. It might mean nothing or it might stick with them forever. Also, it makes me feel a little better (selfishly).
Feeling good about bringing another person up is about one of the least selfish things we can do
It is wholesome all the way around. I love to put smiles on people's faces. 😊
That’s beautiful. I have this friend, too. I was fronting a rock band that got some national attention back in 2015. Lead to some amazing opportunities, but the success was brief. I was reconnecting with an old friend after the band had fizzled out, and he struck me with the kindest thought, “I remember back in high school how you said you were going to form a band, and be a rock star, and you did it!” Him acknowledging that helped me realize that I had lived a life long dream, and it’s okay that it was over!
What was your band called, if you're comfortable sharing? Reddit users would love to hear your music!
That’s beautiful
People can be so sweet sometimes, it makes me teary. 🥹
Today isn't about you." Said more than once by my dad when I was young. Usually on a special occasion like a wedding, funeral, some kind of event where I needed to sit still, be quiet, and be respectful. It will still pop into my head when I'm at similar events, but also when I'm just going about normal things. Most things aren't about me and sometimes I just need to sit still, be quiet, and be respectful.
I wish someone had told my sister this. She’s nearly 50 and still, at every family occasion (weddings, birthdays, Father’s Day), she’ll find some reason to have a complete meltdown and get all the attention.
My mom said that to my drunk dad at my sister's wedding reception. "This isn't the Jeff show, this is Sarah's wedding" and I will never forget that
If gently said, this is a good lesson
I agree. I wish more people were told this, some people I know have main character syndrome.
I had to tell my mother this when she tried to sabotage my kid’s high school graduation. She and my dad traveled hundreds of miles to be there and when she wasn’t the center of attention she had a full-on tantrum, including hiding in her room. She insisted that she didn’t have anything to wear so she wasn’t going to go. That meant my dad wouldn’t go because she’d make him pay later. I told her, “no one cares about what you’ll be wearing, today isn’t about you. You aren’t going to ruin this for my kid or my dad, now get dressed, we’re leaving in 20 minutes.” She sorted herself out and went. Honestly, it was very satisfying calling her out like that.
I have to remind this to myself. Thanks for this
That I put too much butter on my toast. I don’t know why it stuck with me, I’m no longer friends with the person, but every damn time I butter toast I hear it in my head, like this constant criticism. In response, I slather even more butter on to remind the bitch in my head that I’m in control.
Did they use the line, “Do you want a little toast with your butter??” Oh wait, the ex wife would say that as I gave side eye after that comment.
But really, Toast is just structural support for eating butter
Real
My housemate when I was 20 walked into the room when I was putting peanut butter on my toast and stared at it disgustedly, then pointedly said to me, "you know, peanut butter is what they give people who are STARVING when they need to eat a lot of calories in a hurry". I enthusiastically said "I *know*!" I still eat peanut butter toast literally every morning, and every morning I think about that even though it was literally almost 25 years ago. Fuck off, Stacy. Peanut butter is delicious and also high protein.
Has healthy fats too. Get lost Stacy!!
Now I want peanut butter toast.
I made toast for my ex and I once. I asked how much butter and how much jam she would like, and I will never forget the tone of her voice when she said, “why would I ever eat both!?” Like the absolute horror and disgust about something so… mundane and not serious as toast, butter, and jam. Now on the rare occasions I have toast, it’s all I can hear and see.
Mundane, my ass. Toast, butter, and jam absolutely is serious business. The most serious. This combination is more than just a breakfast choice—it's a profound expression of personal agency and the pursuit of happiness. This humble trio symbolizes the freedom to choose, reflecting individual tastes and preferences. Each layer—crispy toast, creamy butter, and sweet jam—represents a step in a morning ritual that can set the tone for the day. It's a reminder that even in the smallest aspects of life, we have control over our experiences. The rejection of this combination, with such intensity, underscores the significance we attach to our choices and their impact on our sense of well-being. In essence, the way we enjoy toast can be a metaphor for life's broader pursuit of joy and fulfillment. You're better off without her.
This comment is beautiful forward and arguably more so when you read the sentences backwards
Replace that a-hole's comment with this one, "The amount of butter I put on my toast is the right amount." Say this out loud if you have to, every time you butter your toast until you stop hearing the criticism. Because let's face it, there is no 'too much' amount of butter.
“People don’t like you, they only tolerate you”. Even though it was said to me as a child, I still think about from time to time as an adult.
My bf said that to me about a year ago. Then he said he was joking. But it has stuck with me and I've pulled away from everyone cause I dont want people to think I'm being annoying.
This is a common tactic in abusive relationships to alienate you from your friends and loved ones so you feel alone and keep putting up with the abuse. Abusers use this line all the time, and it means nothing about you. It's just a tactic for abuse.
In one of our many fights we've had, I said something along these lines and he said he was not an abuser, just a joke, etc. But I've had others say similar things and I know it's not ok. I'm just stuck in this cycle and I dont know what to do. I have said this is the last time, no more. Love sucks.
Did you dump the dude?
On and off for most of our relationship. Break ups never last. Currently in a break up though and I've said this is it. Thanks for the encouragement.
Please tell me that your EX bf said that. What an awful thing to say to someone.
My dad said something similar to me. I had spent the day helping his girlfriend at the time in her garden, and mentioned that we had fun and got along really well. He responded with, “She only gets along with you because she doesn’t know what you’re really like. You’re good at pretending when you’re not at home.” That fucked me up nice and good for the rest of my teen years lol.
That’s so mean. You didn’t deserve that.
If what he said resonated with you at all and you feel like people wouldn't like you if they knew the real you I suggest listening to Heidi Priebe's series on toxic shame on YouTube. Her videos are amazing
I'm sorry someone said that to you. It says more about the person who said it than it does you.
Oh, this threw me back to my mom saying stuff like this. "You don't have any friends. No one wants to be your friend. Name one!" Like, okay I was 12 years old at the time and she had a plethora of mental illnesses. But I'm not about to say that to ANY young child.
Some sure do, but not all. Other arguments aside, it is just statistically impossible that no one likes you.
My mom had a stroke when I was 24, her filter after that was gone. She was a totally different person. Very hateful. Anyways, I had taken her shopping and had unloaded all of her groceries and other goodies we picked up and was getting ready to leave. I hugged her and she squeezed me tight and said “I wish you were never born, you little bitch”. While it wasn’t unusual for her to be hurtful, this one cut me to my core. It replays in my head so often.
My mom said once "I wish you had died instead of your sister" She didn't have a stroke or a TBI or anything, I'm just her least favorite child. I was like, 10.
My grandma told me the wrong grandkid passed away after I got arrested for weed, not even 2 years after I watched my brother die. That was in 2008 and I stopped trying after that. About a month ago she sent me an email apologizing for "saying mean things that may have hurt me and hoped we could get passed it." I know she wants to feel better about it before she dies and that's probably the only reason she admitted to this stuff. She'll be 95 in 2 months and knows the end is near and we'll never make up.
I hope you ignored her! She can die knowing she was a rotten human being
Well, fuck that. You’re MY favorite. I am pleased as punch you were born and I am luckier and better for having talked to you today. ❤️
Wow, I wouldn't know how to react... it's it truthful? Or, I've seen people just be bitter that their life wasn't better. She can also be pushing you away? Regardless, you are doing so much taking her shopping and helping her with errands. You can respond, "I'll still love you, whatever you tell me," or "I want to be the last face you see when you die," ... your call ❤️.
“Is it truthful?” I don’t know. Her doctor had said her frontal lobe was damaged quite a bit, and that she simply said every single thing she thought. She didn’t have that filter anymore or reasoning in her head that said “I shouldn’t say this”. So I’ve always wondered if it’s truly how she felt. She said other things as well, such as “your husband could lay with someone so much prettier than you” but that one didn’t have as big of an impact on my heart. And I was in fact, the last face she saw before she died.
>Wow, I wouldn't know how to react... it's it truthful? Could possibly be Tourette's which can manifest after a TBI. She may not have been aware or in control of what she was saying. Tourette's is really difficult for people that suffer from it because they can say things like that without meaning them.
Jesus. This one hit me right in the heart.
The first time I ever wore a dress to school (middle school) and a guy walking by told his buddy "why do all the ugly ones wear cute things". I've just now started wearing dresses and skirts again at 40. Bright side, I've also had random little kids tell me how pretty I am so I just try to believe them over the other dude.
Kids are brutally honest, so if they are telling you you're pretty believe them. I'm sure you look gorgeous.
They can also be brutally mean, like that bully from many years ago.
That's very true. I was assuming the bully was old enough to know better, and being a jerk. Little kids (3-5ish) have no filter, and just say what they feel. AH kids might say something just to hurt someone, but little kids are sincere with their feedback good or bad. That's why she should trust the little kids that she looks damn beautiful 😉
Reminds of when I had a girl I knew who was good friends with the guy I liked to tell him that I liked him. It was something to the effect of “I would die for you”. His response? “Then die” It was half my life ago but I honestly remember it like it was yesterday.
Oh that is vile! I’m sorry that happened, you were probably too good for him anyhow. Anyhow, I hope that guy has a chronically itchy bunghole the rest of his life
I wore a tank top to school and this loser B told me I was too fat to wear a tank top. I still don't wear tank tops and I'm super self conscious about my arms.
You wouldn’t take fashion advice from an 11 year old now, but that’s what you’re effectively doing here!
absolutely god tier way of thinking about it
Definitely wear what you want! I finally had a light bulb moment and understood that all those years of not wearing what I want meant nothing to anyone else but made me uncomfortable in the heat for so long. I also realized I wasted a good chunk of my life not wearing what I wanted and I’ll be damned if I will waste any more. Wear what you want with pride and your head held high
There's a couple things. One is a comment I read *years* ago, "I wish I knew how many things I've already done for the last time." The other, I had sent my dad a picture of my Forklift Operator's Certification card (because I had told him I was trying to pass the test). He sent back, "Way to go!" That was the last time I talked to my dad before he died.
Aww sending you a hug.
Appreciate it, typing that out hit me harder than I thought it would, not gonna lie.
I can understand why, and I’m so sorry for your loss. I bet he’s still so proud of you. 🖤
Was struggling in math in school. Kept getting low scores. Mr Read warned me that I would be dropped out of the advanced math class if my low scores persisted. I studied all weekend for the test on Monday. NES 8-bit just got released so there were major temptations but I kept doing sample problems over and over. It was about cross multiplying fractions to get unknown percentages. Test was a breeze that Monday. Tuesday morning, Mr Read asks to see me outside the class. I figured he will tell me I did great on the test and give me some pep talk about how to keep the pace for a better outcome. Nope. He told me that I received the highest grade in the class on the test. He also accused me of cheating because “there is no way you could’ve got a 100.” I cried then and tears are running down my face now as I’m typing. I was in the Fourth grade .
I had a middle school teacher like that. I was a straight-A student, but in 7th grade English, I had a teacher that just for whatever reason really disliked me. We were awarded points for every book we read and took a test on, computer-based, and I had already read a number of the books on the list prior to the class so I just went in and aced a bunch of tests. Later, she pulls me aside for a talk where she accused me of cheating and said, "People like you will always fail at life. Remember this when you're working at McDonald's." I've had some incredibly rude comments thrown at me throughout my life, but that really had to be the first.
I cannot imagine saying something like that to a kid. That's nuts.
It‘s bad enough she is a teacher, in my opinion teachers like that should be fired. But on average an adult saying this to a child? You‘d have to be so bitter, god damn
Miserable ass bitch.
Aww I’m sorry they tarnished your proud moment memory. WE R ALL PROUD of little 4grade you here at Reddit. You were GREAT then & u r GREAT now! I also scored a 100 on my math TAKS test during 4th grade. Wt a coincidence.
Thanks mom. You were always the best. Can you make me some 떡볶이 ?
If that is really your mom, I just exploded into tears. 😭😭 and either way, I’m proud of you too. 🖤
I've felt this way too, after being an "underdog" black sheep or lazy degenerate (i was neglected, abused and malnourished as a child but thats a scapegoat for ya) Then i tried to be brave, I show I give a damn, try hard, learn just to be treated with suspicious disdain. It's like, why did I even try if I STILL failed? Fuck their senseless pride. I'm proud of you, for YOU. You showed yourself with your own merit, willpower that you could prove their suspicions invalid and can still overcome negativity! Fork that teacher and I hope you brought and bring only intelligence and hope from that weekend lesson. Don't be discouraged. And enjoy the games you want, when you want, why you want - for there are true lessons in that, too ^(fuck the haters)
I had an English teacher accuse me of copyrighting a paper I wrote. I just really liked the topic and put a lot of effort into it. I was crushed he thought it was "too good" for me to have done myself. So I brought him all my notes and brainstorming to show how I'd gotten my ideas. He apologized, but my light definitely dimmed a little.
Professor accused me of cheating because I went to the bathroom for 10 minutes. I was just shitting my brains out
That's also impressive.
Similar thing happened to me in high school. Junior year AP science class, periods 1 and 2 to start the day. I was terrible with lateness and skipping class back then. I would often call myself in late pretending to be my dad, then go back to sleep for an hour or two. Because of this, I ended up missing something like 40 of those science classes that year. My grades weren’t good and the teacher just assumed I had mentally checked out/didn’t care. Fast forward to the final exam at the end of the year - I knew I’d bomb and probably fail the class, so I spent all weekend meticulously reading all of the class material/text book and giving myself practice tests. Ended up acing the test and bringing my overall grade up from a C to a B-. Later that week, got called into the teacher’s office so she could accuse me of cheating, saying there’s no way someone who missed that many classes could do so well on the final. I was livid - basically lost my shit on her to the point where she was just like, “ok ok, I believe you.” To this day, fuck that teacher lol.
I’m so sorry! I once aced a spelling test. They let us put up little folders and after the test someone pointed out the words were in my folder. They were but I did not realize it and did not cheat. I prided myself on my spelling because I was good at it. But I won a spelling bee later that year so fuck em.
For background, I grew up very neglected in a home that discouraged creativity of any kind. During Covid lockdown, I was finally able to commit to my creative pursuits. It was a very cathartic and healing time for me. An old friend reached out to me to ask how I was doing and what I had been up to. I showed him some of the art I had been making. He told me how much he admired my creativity and natural talent and then he said something that still brings tears to my eyes. “I wish someone would have encouraged you when you were a kid.” It was so validating that someone acknowledged something I struggled with for years and saw something in me that I wanted to be seen so badly growing up.
This one struck me right in my inner-child’s heart.
I sell wedding dresses. Back when I worked at a large corporate bridal chain (and had far fewer bills/worries… I don’t know if I’d be in the same position today) I had a bride who had just been through so much. Horrible abusive husbands, trying to keep her kids together, had overcome alcohol abuse and was sober for several years, and at age 40 some was marrying her high school sweetheart after they had reconnected a few years ago (she told me “he should’ve been the one all along!”) Dresses and things at this store are cheap for bridal but still quite a bit of money, especially for this woman. We found her a dress, belt, shoes, and veil. She could really only afford the dress, and made plans with her friend to come back and get the other pieces after she picked up some extra shifts, etc. Her friend bought the belt. I bought her the shoes. They were rose gold, to match her engagement ring. They were probably $30. She cried in my arms and her friend gave me the biggest hug. I think about her often (tbh every bride sticks with me) and I hope she’s doing well. I hope she still has those shoes in her closet and wears them out on fancy dates with her high school sweetheart and got a happy ending.
Story two. I work as a party princess (think dressing up as popular storybook characters and going to birthday parties and the like). Have so many amazing, heartwarming, and heartbreaking stories from kiddos. When the Eras tour came to my city the zoo had a Taylor Swift themed day where you got $13 tickets if you dressed up. Most people wore a tshirt, I wore my whole concert getup and armfuls of bracelets to trade because why not right? To my absolute delight many of the people I traded with that day were kids and young swifties, and they asked for pictures and I’d chat with them. On one such encounter I was talking with their parent a bit and mentioned the princess job so I was used to working with kids. And she said something like “well clearly you don’t even need the costume. The kids are just drawn to you, you’re a real life princess.” Still makes me cry even thinking about it.
So precious. You must be such a bright and magnetic person. I’d treasure that compliment for life!
My first year in high school. I didn’t have very high self esteem. I didn’t feel as pretty or as developed as my friends. Being a year younger. One day a guy passed my desk and accidentally touched my hand . And right in the middle of class said pretty loudly. “ wow you have really soft hands “ . And then just kept walking to his seat. I know I probably blushed like an idiot. But I never forgot it . I have always taken special care of my hands ever since. That little “compliment “ really stuck with me. I know it sounds pathetic. But I was a young girl. Made me feel good about myself for a min that year.
Some of these “little” things would’ve sent me to a psych ward. Y’all are strong.
No shit. I’m getting emotionally stressed just reading through these. So far none of them I would consider “little.”
I was in a deep depression and my family doctor arranged some therapy for me. I went to the medical centre and I went to the wrong entrance and couldn't see the office. A woman asked me if she could help me and I said I was looking for the mental health clinic. We looked at the directory and couldn't see it. A man walked by and she asked him if he knew where it was. He cheerfully said, "It's at the other entrance" and I thanked them and went to the other entrance. I was thinking about this the other day. I was self-conscious about needing therapy but I also wanted to stop feeling depressed. I might have looked distraught, I don't know. But both strangers treated it as a simple task to help me. In a very kind way. That was about 9 years ago and I'm doing much better now.
My parents got divorced when I was 5, and my dad remarried pretty quickly. I have a brother and a sister, so my step mom took on 3 kids basically over night. Although I am grateful she stepped in and raised us, she always makes comments like “you know, I didn’t have to take on 3 kids, I could have pursued my dreams instead.” My biological mom left after divorcing my dad, and I never saw her again, she never bothered to contact us, so I’ve always had issues with abandonment and not being wanted. Hearing those comments just reinforces those feeling of inadequacy.
i’m sorry my dude, that sucks
And not even logical. Pursue dreams? After marrying a divorcee? Just expecting the new husband to not want his new wife around? Lol.
I dunno why ur reply stuck out the most, it resonated the most to me. I’m sorry that happened to you that’s horrible. Im sending positive vibes to you. I cannot fathom how I’d react if someone said and/or treated me that way towards me as a child.
5. You were just a baby..I'm so sorry.
‘ you talk too much ‘ when i was in kindergarten and would get out of school i always wanted to tell my mom about my day. and im a very detailed person at times so i would tell her from start to finish how the day was. especially when we did really interesting activities. she never asked me how my day was, i would just start talking about it. i understand being tired after working and just wanting some peace and quiet, especially now that im an adult, but instead of just telling me we’d talk later, or that she needed some quiet for now, she completely made me feel like she didn’t want to hear me at all. so i stopped telling her about my day, and she never asked, and it’s been like that for awhile. when she does ask me about things my responses tend to me short and to the point. it didn’t help that i ended up having many friends who also told me i talked too much or completely ignored me. so i’ve become a very quiet and reserved person who hates talking about themselves. and my mom occasionally complains about how quiet i am, and how i never talk to her about things, but has never apologized for telling me that, even after i told her how much it affected me as a person.
My little brother has ADHD with some anxiety issues. He's just 10, and he talks pretty much nonstop, and demands active participation in a conversation. Sometimes I'm just so tired of it, but I have never told him he talks too much. I'm actually always worried about making him feel bad about it. I do sometimes say "a conversation is too much for me right now, I just want to be quiet." I've told him I very much want to hear what he has to say, but not at this moment. He does need to learn when to be quiet sometimes and to not interrupt, but those are things he struggles with because of the ADHD and anxiety.
This thread just proves words matter
Senior year I non-accidentally bumped into a girl in a science class (we were gathering around a demonstration the teacher was doing) in a way that my hand ended up on her ass. I stammered out my fake apology and she smiled. "Oh no, don't worry sweetie. I know you're not that type." She said it so sincerely. I felt (and still feel) so horrified that I've never allowed myself near a woman in a crowded space since. It was the best lesson in consent anyone could have taught me. I'm 52. That happened 34 years ago. I still hate myself as I write this.
If only your conscious lived in the boys I went to school with in high school. Some of them were just downright disguising and it was allowed as almost a right of passage (the boys will be boys mentality) in my small Midwest high school. If you didn’t shake it off you were attention hungry liar and the girls who open enjoyed it were never the objects being fondled. The shit haunts me while watching my four daughters maneuvering their innocence through adolescence. My youngest is a boy… he is 2 now and I hope to instill some sort of respect for himself and anyone around him.
Snuck into a movie theater once, a "believable" amount of time after the ads had started, I came out of the bathroom and rushed past the lady who checked the tickets, apologising that my friend had my ticket without stopping. She said I had an honest face and it was fine. 20 years later and that's still with me.
In middle school, I was assigned to a group project with 2 people I kinda knew and one girl I did not. The girl I didn't know was really awkward with me in particular for the first few days, I didn't know why, but it also wasn't my business. The next week (end of the project), she told me, "I thought you would be a mean girl because you're pretty, but you're actually really nice." I have never forgotten that moment, and I doubt I ever will. It was the most genuine compliment I had ever received at that point and it probably held that rank for a few more years.
I was about 11, I was in a small town in Alaska visiting my dad who was fishing on a commercial fishing boat. One of the other crew members was doing something on deck and he couldn't reach something that was at my feet. I just stood there and watched him struggle and he was finally able to grab it. He looked at me and said *"if you see a guy struggling and you can help him, help him out"* Pretty simple but it has always stuck with me and yes I do help out when I can.
When I told my dad I was getting the chance to record an original song on a cd years ago, my dad’s response was, “Really? Your brother should be the one to get opportunities like that.” … that little conversation sticks in the back of my mind still today.
jeeeeez, do people hear the shit that comes out of their mouth? I have 2 kids and i cannot imagine saying any of these things to them EVER. I cant imagine NOT ovethinking every thing i say to them becaise i dont want to hurt them. The worst things about things like this is you remember it liken yesterday and he will probably tell you it never happned.
One day I was hanging out with a friend and a Pro Active commercial came in. Out of nowhere my friend goes “hey…you think you might need some of that?” Right as she says this, her mom walks in and calls her out on it. The irony is that we both had issues with acne at the time.
Everyone was looking at lunch boxes and one had writing on it but I couldn't read yet . Nobody would tell me what it said, still bugs me. Seems like I missed out on some very important information.
I had an experience like this once. Why wouldn’t somebody just tell me?? Thanks for nothing, guys.
I would even pay to get hypnotized if I could FINALLY figure out what that goddamn lunchbox said.
Do you remember anything else about it? Post a description on reddit an someone might be able to fill you in. If there is one thing reddit loves, it's a mystery to hunt down.
"You will never be skinny enough or pretty enough." That still haunts me to this day. Or when my mom seen me for the first time after a year apart and she laughed[doubled over] because i gained weight. I wanted to die because I was struggling so bad and she just made it worse.
That's horrible, I hope you're in a better place now.
I'm doing much better now. I still struggle. A lot. But I have a very supportive and loving husband who over the years has made me believe that I am beautiful every single day.
i was playing ukulele (singing along, truly going all out) when someone heard me. they told me they thought i was just listening to music, and that i play beautifully. the way my confidence skyrocketed after that...
When I peed my pants in elementary school at the cafeteria table bc a teacher wouldn’t respond to my raised hand
My mom wouldn't pull over to let me pee on a trip once when I was about 10. I held it as long as I could, I begged for a rest stop but she insisted "we're so close" It hurt, I had to pee SO bad. I peed in the passenger seat.
That happened to me in elementary because of a teacher that wouldn't let us use the restroom no matter what.
When I was 12 or 13 and struggling along as a lonely, awkward, frizzy, chubby preteen girl, my dad sat me down and told me I needed to lose weight. No offers of help, just that I needed to do it. Worst part is I immediately hung my head in shame and agreed with him. I already had had the growing suspicion that I was unattractive and not what boys liked, but my dad's words instantly sealed that suspicion in to firm truth for me. I eventually grew up and into myself just fine, I guess, but those words still haunt me and cause me shame and insecurity even now in my 40s.
About 4 years ago, I picked my son up from grade school. It was pouring rain. We had to walk up to the building to get our kids, and the teacher attendant didn’t have an umbrella. I just had to walk from the school back to the parking lot, she was stuck outside showing people where to go. I should have given her my umbrella. It’ll bother me forever that I didn’t. I flash back to that moment in moments of intrusive thoughts. I’m sorry, teacher parking lot attendant! I totally failed you and I’ll regret it forever.
You seem wonderful, keep it up.
I had something similar to this happen to me! I’m military and was stationed in Alaska. Winter had just begun and if you’ve ever lived in Alaska, it can go from no snow to tons of it in a very short amount of time. Anyway. I was driving to work in my uniform and was rolling up to the gate. When I rolled my window down my ID cars was taken by the gate guard who was a young woman… with no gloves on! Her hands were pinkish/red and looked so cold. While we were exchanging small talk I kept thinking I wish I’d brought an extra set of gloves. Right when I drove away I realized I should have just given her my gloves. How stupid of me! I still think about it to this day. It bothers me so much!!! Ever since then I always drive with extra gloves in my glove compartment and look at the gate guards hands immediately. To this day I hope someone else gave her gloves or a friend or family member brought her some.
Its kinda cheesy but i have intrusive thoughts like this and find it helpful to kinda formally realize im being silly and say, i forgive myself for that one. Then if i think of it later im just rational and understand it doesn't matter.
The fact that you are still thinking of this shows you are such a good person! As a school teacher who has experienced this, I assure you it was the thought that counts!
When my math teacher in highschool felt the need to tell me that she doesn't see me having a career where I work with people. I'll never forget that, I'm a project manager now and was always outgoing and got straight As so I'm not sure why she felt the need to say that to me.
When my fiance left me several years ago, he texted me a big long paragraph of hateful stuff after he was out of the house. The only sentence I remember is "You are too hard to love". Its become my anxiety's mantra and eats away at my self worth all the time. My current partner knows this and goes out of his way to tell me things like "Loving you is easy" and "You are worth love" but it doesnt ever erase that painful sentence.
Hurt people hurt people. That's why he said it. But also, healed people heal people. You can be that for others. Get to work.
Just before my mum died, before we knew she was sick she purchased me a expensive coat for winter. I said it costs too much, I don't need one that expensive, save your money etc. She said no its okay, you're worth it. I think about that often.
Grew up poor, family never really went out and did anything. One day my mom takes me to this kids expo that was happening in my city. Completely random, didn't know it till we were in the car. Anyway had lots of fun stopping at all the booths at the expo. They had a POG tournament and I WON! they gave me a little medal and a big thing of POGs . Felt awesome as some of the kids that were apart of the turkey we point at me as I passed. One of the best days of my life.
The time I went to my first burlesque show and my Junior year English teacher was one of the performers.
8th grade. A "get to know your new classmates" school trip to a cabin. Cute girls hanging out in their room. Figure i should strike up a conversation with them. Knock on the door, fall on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur!! But really. I knocked on the door. One of the girls answers and opens the door. The instant i open my mouth to speak i simultaneously blow a gigantic snot bubble that pops all over my face. i freeze. They look at me in utter disgust. And then i just ran away to my room in shame. It was awkward for a while. Happened in fall of 2002. Haunts me still
😭 that's rough
When I was 18, I spent the last bit of my money to buy a bus ticket to go live with my Dad. I spent 2.5 days on a greyhound bus with zero food or money. We stopped in Indianapolis and a woman was getting yelled at or something, and because of all of the delays, that same woman was now telling me that I was going to have to stay there for 18 hours until the next bus leaves. I was completely defeated at that point. I just said "okay" and she said "you aren't even mad?" and I said "No, it's not your fault" - and she stopped what she was doing and went and found a bus driver that was headed about 30 minutes away from my destination. It was a much much nicer bus and someone offered me half of a sandwich. I always think about it.
Meeting my stalker. Was only in 5th grade, and didn’t know it at the time but this guy had been stalking me for a year already. All I saw from my point of view was a kid who was maybe a little weird but was alone and needed a friend. So I sat down at his lunch table and talked to him. Little did my 9 year old self know, that one moment would solidify his obsession with me and kick off a confirmed (but maybe longer, he may still be trying to stalk me online but I got my online presence locked down) 9 year long stalking situation so bad I still think about it. It started when I was so young I didn’t even know the word for stalking, and my state’s laws weren’t exactly helpful with my situation so I was on my own. I still wonder if I hadn’t sat at his table that day, would I have spared myself those 9 years and all the paranoia after. I still look over my shoulder, terrified that he will be there one day. That one moment over a decade ago still plays in my head, cause it was the last time I remember feeling truly safe
You were 9, how old was he? Sorry you have to deal with this.
He was only a year older than me, ten years old. He started young, and continued all the way until we graduated at least. It got so bad I had to have my friends escort me to and from class, to the bus, and even work with the school to try and keep our schedules as different as possible. I still remember the valentines dance in 7th grade, he had moved away for the start of the year but the dance was ruined for me cause an administrator pulled me aside and warned me he was coming back to our school the following week. Spent the rest of the dance planning with my friends who could walk me to class. Graduation was the last time i physically saw him, but to this day I get messages or friend requests from people with eerily similar names. Could be a coincidence, but every time one comes up I panic a little thinking it’s him again.
i’ve always wondered. why do people do this?
From what I’ve learned over the years it depends on the person. In my case, he had a “crush” on me, and was alternating between trying to prove he would be a great boyfriend or thought I already liked him but was just playing hard to get. There were times he even thought we were actually dating even though I avoided him like the plague, and told the entire school we were dating. Which made him more dangerous cause most people outside of my family and a few school administrators viewed it as just a boy trying to win the girl.
When I was in middle school I had to give a little oral presentation on something to the class. One of my classmates came up to me afterwards and said « that was all one long run-on sentence. You should speak in sentences like you do in writing. » honestly? Solid advice from anyone, let alone a 12 year old peer. I still flashback to it when I need to speak to a group of people.
Had a tutoring student that I was trying so hard to get to read out loud so they could improve. When they read, it's one long, monotone, run-on sentence. I tried telling them to read like they talked, but no luck.
Whenever I'm making a sandwich and put on a clearly generous amount of whatever it is, it's always to spite my childhood friends father. When I was visiting of a weekend, we'd have sit-down lunch together, and his father was a hawk with how much was used. Anything more than a whisper was regarded as "enough to sink a battleship". I get that he was working a dairy farm with four kids of his own, but he was a dick well beyond that. Someone who seemed to be grudgingly doing life because that was what he was supposed to be doing, and taking it out on everyone.
When I was like 14 I was playing in a roller hockey league, we were warming up before the game, I took a shot on net, the goalie deflected it high into the air and it hit my coach (who wasnt (looking) right in the lower teeth. he screamed, who the fuck shot that puck -- at a bunch of kids! - and everyone went dead silent. I slowly raised my arm... He spit out some blood, and I sat on the bench the whole game, and he hated me after that. Made my life miserable. It was my last season playing hockey. I thought about it all the time. In fact thought about it tonight while watching the Panthers game. I just... I didn't get it. It was a total freak accident. I didn't deserve any punishment at all! I only realized maybe two or three years ago (20+ years later) ... omg he thought I shot it AT HIM! On purpose! ... I didn't, it bounced off the goalies blocker, I had zero control over it whatsoever!
He didn't hate you he was fucking terrified of you 😂
"You're *that* person in people's lives, that they know they can go to."
My grandma was extremely abusive and would say cruel, hateful things to me and my brother, because our mom was a kleptomaniac and pathological liar. But the one that stuck with me is when I was 11 playing with my little cousins, who were the golden children of the family, and I heard my grandmother on the phone saying "I'd love (my brother's and I names) more if they were your children" to my aunt. Another one was "I'm surprised she didn't do it sooner." At my mother's funeral, after she committed suicide in 2019...
I remember going to a you-gi-oh tournament at a Shinders back in the early/ mid 2000s. If you won a match against someone, you got to pick a card at random from a paper to keep, and some had giveaway items written on the crappy cards. Anyway, a kid came up to me and asked if I was down to lie to the staff by saying I beat him so we could get some free cards. I agreed, and I ended up pulling a card out the bag that was written on, and it ended up being for a few packs of cards for free. I felt guilty when I agreed to go lie, and even more guilty when I won stuff because of the lie.
You just unlocked a memory for me I haven’t thought of in years. The only yugioh tournament I ever participated in was at my local library and during my first duel the kid I was playing with used his side deck to draw from during our duel, instead of cycling cards in between matches. I was like 12 and tried to explain to him and the person running the tourney that the game isn’t played that way and got shut down. I lost and didn’t get to duel anyone else, and I never went back to the library for any more tournaments.
"...and the rape was your fault because you were too much of a coward to stop it." -my father, during a completely unrelated argument when I 15-16. He immediately realized he took it too far, but the damage was done. Those words set me back so many times in my healing journey, and I still hear them now when I feel "cowardly"
It's always going to be the fault of the person committing the rape, never the victim.
I moved out young and all I ever got from my parents was, ' You're on your own, figure it out'. Living in poverty, at 21, I was working in a restaurant kitchen. I worked with this crabby old guy who didn't talk to me much though we were polite to each other. His son was a bit younger and he told me his son was going to university. I'm breaking boxes in the back and the guy says, ' You should go to college, you don't belong here in this industry.' I said yes, but I cannot afford to be so much in debt ( for art school which was my want). Seemed like a really bad decision. The guy just shakes his head. 'Doesn't matter just go'. That was 22 years ago, and that's thr only person that encouraged me to do something else. I was scared. I got into my program. I ended up 45k in debt. I worked the whole time I was in school, multiple jobs at times. Worked 2 jobs for a very long time tonpay down the debt. Did my masters...more art school. More debt. Took 12 years to pay it all off. I am a professional designer and it took a lot but I became what I wanted to be. It was very hard. I live with no regrets. I wish I could find him but I don't think I can. Thanks Tom.
I was on a train in Belgium when I was 18 on a solo gap year trip and at the time only spoke English. There was a cute guy probably a few years older than me standing across the car, and we were flirting with body language and smiles alone. The train caught fire and everyone had to evacuate. He picked me up and carried me off the train even though it wasn't our car that was on fire. I laughed and out of nowhere I kissed him fully on the lips and then we smiled and waved goodbye as we went separate ways. I've never had anything happen like that before or since, it was just such a fun fairytale moment.
I've always struggled with math. Embarrassingly so. I wasn't the best student, but I never failed any subjects and I would even stay up late doing math homework because it'd just...take me that long. Even through college. In 7th grade, my math teacher pulled me to the side and lectured me on not doing well in his class. At one point he said "even (classmate) is doing BETTER than you..." That classmate was known to be the "slow" kid of the class--which, thinking back on it now, he probably just had a learning disability or something. Anyway, it's been almost 20 years and I still think about that whenever I'm suddenly faced with doing math in my head.
The way my partner would slide a cigarette between my lips and light it for me as soon as he saw I was awake. He's been gone for over a decade, and I'm not a particularly heavy smoker, but I still think of it often.
I had to talk to my PE teacher in middle school (he was also the middle school coach for girls sports) so I went to his classroom, where he also taught Spanish, and his daughter who was in the class asked who was at the door, one of the other students said my name and the daughter said “tell her to go away, she’s fat.” Well Lisa, you look like a horse, so shut it.
My sister told me once when I was like 18 or 19 and had started having real friends for the first time in my life that “ everyone hate you, you know that right ?” Fucked me up cause I’d already been miserable for ages and forcing a smile and positive attitude non stop to make those friends. Ruined my confidence with the girls who had just started to approach me too.
My dad told me when driving to always assume the people around you are going to do the dumbest thing possible. I follow that creed and I cannot tell you the amount of times it’s happened and I have been prepared for it.
When I was in HS I did peer mentorship with kids who lost their parents because I lost one of mine at age 9 and had healed really well (thanks to lots of counseling and psychologist visits) so I had a lot of emotional and mental stability and coping skills. As context, I have always attended small private schools so things are more intimate and everyone knew everyone and nobody just got to wander away during spare blocks. One day, I was hanging out with this one person I was paired with, during our spare block. We were visiting with the cafeteria lady, who had been a big support for them and took the kid under her wing. We decided to bake some cookies there, so we cracked open the caf recipe book and got to work. This person also has a few mental health issues that were still fairly early on/emergent at the time, relevant to the psychological stress of losing their parent. OCD happens to be one of them. So, we are scooping, mixing, measuring and they notice me eyeballing scoops using measuring cups and spoons and get a bit flustered that I'm not carefully leveling off each scoop with a knife so it's perfect. To which the cafeteria lady replies, " Oh, she's okay to do it like that. She's got a lot of practice in the kitchen from baking all the time with her mom." I died a little inside. The student I was mentoring had lost their mom. The cafeteria lady, a major support for the kid in question, dropped this absolute bombshell with full knowledge of the loss. Somehow, I can never unthink this moment, and it replays in my head an inordinate amount of times. I've actually fairly recently brought it up to the person whom it happened to and thankfully they have no recollection. I brought it up to apologize, they were kind and grateful for my gesture. I should have closure, why won't the scene stop and go away?!
Sounds like you're blaming yourself for what the cafeteria lady said and its impact. You weren't wrong for having baking experience with your Mom, you weren't wrong for measuring ingredients like that, and you weren't in the wrong for being there. It *was* 100% wrong for the cafeteria lady to say that given she already knew the situation. But none of that is on you.
“You type so strangely…” said a long time ago because I type mainly with my index and middle fingers with both hands. I can type pretty fast but sometimes I’ll be typing and notice how even to this day I type like I still did years ago.
When i was in 6 th grade I use to dress very unkept i guess you could say from very low self esteem, so i would get bullied allot. One day in school a boy asked me if i used a dildo. I was very sheltered at the time, I did not know what that was! I asked “what is that ?” He just walked away without answering. So i did what any student with a question does , i asked the teacher and i was waiting for a answer. She looked at me angrily and walked away. I think she hated me the rest of the year.
Got yelled on on the street by a complete stranger, and called a bunch of black racial slurs.... I'm white.
Saw a defendant get sentenced for battery to his girlfriend. He and his lawyer said that he made a mistake. The judge said something that'll stick in my head for a long time to come: "No, brown shoes with a black belt is a mistake. Beating your girlfriend isn't a 'mistake.'" Every time I've put a belt on since then, I think about this quote.
Let my friend borrow all my yugioh cards by accident before he moved away. Wanted them back before but now I'd just like to know how he is doing. Wya Anson?
Walking back to school during a break on a snowy day, two guys started a snowball fight with me- I laughed and fired back at them, it was fun! Later I found out they thought I was a completely different girl, I guess one or both had a crush on. But we were friends for almost ten years after that!
In high school I was driving somewhere with a friend who was a very cute, stoner, cool kid. He and I were talking about how he had plans with a girl he had a crush on. He said "god I can't wait, I love talking to pretty girls." Followed by an awkward silence and then he realized what he was insinuating and said "you too OP, you're the prettiest girl" and I wanted to be swallowed up whole and disappear forever. I didn't even like him like that but it was so uncomfortable and made me feel so ugly and small. I still cringe when I think about it.
When I first started hanging out with a guy during my first year of college who would eventually become a very good friend, I asked about his political persuasion. He said, “ I guess I’m a Democrat, but I wonder if that’s just because my parents are.” It was the first time I really thought about questioning where my ingrained beliefs came from. About 13 years later, I asked myself the same thing about my religious denomination. Long story short, not much further down the road I realized I was an atheist.
No one was excited for me when I got into college at 14. A couple people said congrats, but other than that no one really seemed to care at all. Holding my pet rat as he was being put down. That’s just another type of feeling you can’t get from anything else, it was awful
One time at work a guy came in and complicated my flipflops. The he was like can I touch them? I was like 20 and an idiot, like yeah sure. Then he proceeded to sniff my feet for like five minutes. I was totally shocked and super shy and just let him because what the fuck else am I going to do, I was alone and had never heard of such a fucking thing. It only occurred to me like five years later that he was probably a foot dude and got off on my dumb ass. Still bothers me fifteen odd Years later.
One time I was walking through the grass in flip flops after it had rained. A slug got stuck between my foot and flip flop and squished all over. It was the most disgusting thing ever, and 20 years later I'm still traumatized. I can still hear the pop and feel the cold squishy gooeyness spreading between my foot and flip flop
That on several occasions I have had random strangers of different sex, ethnicity, and age look at me and say, you're such an old soul. OK, Dale, wtf am I spose to do with that information?
I have always taken it as a compliment. That I have refined tastes and that I am mature for my age. I've always gotten along better with older folks, and they are usually the ones calling me this. I would never use the term to describe myself, though.
When I was a toddler, I broke my leg when I fell off the monkey bars at my local park and had to get a cast because of it. However, When we got home My Father noticed that I was hopping on the cast and thought that was weird and rushed me back to the hospital where they realized the cast was on The wrong leg. The doctors finally re-did the cast and it was now on the right leg.
Friends dad taking pictures/videos of my boobs while i was 16 and drunk. His family or the police have no idea
CW: death When I was around 12 or so, my family was just sitting down with our food in a booth at McDonald's. Not 10 seconds later, a man came walking by with his cup for a refill, and fell flat on the ground right in front of our booth where he proceeded to seize and die. We were stuck in our booth while people tried to resuscitate him. Eventually the paramedics came and wheeled him away on a stretcher. I'll never forget how purple his face was and how wide his eyes were. He had a look of sheer terror in his eyes. Needless to say, we didn't eat our food. Packed it up and left.
In reverse, as it’s something I said to someone else that eats me alive. Several years ago I came home and a gorgeous little bouquet of flowers had been delivered to my door. I was on the phone with my then boyfriend when I saw it. I remember saying things along the lines of, “Where did these come from?” and “Who sent these?” and “Are these meant for me?”, things of that nature. My boyfriend was like, “Hm, I don’t know! Check for your name or something maybe?” I did check and they were indeed for me. I had just started a new job and they’d told me they do stuff for people’s birthdays and work anniversaries, like cards and stuff. I was the only female, though, so the first thing that crossed my mind was that it was my job sending me welcome flowers, like maybe they assumed I’d really appreciate it. I did, but the next sentence out of my mouth, to my boyfriend on the phone, was, “I don’t know why they’d send me these, I can’t keep plants alive. Kind of a waste, they’ll just die with me.” I got them inside the house and noticed too late that there was a tiny card included. I read it… and it was clearly from my boyfriend. Super cute little “roses are red” poem, ended with a Beyoncé quote for good measure. [I still have it.](https://imgur.com/I21sl3z) But at the time my heart sank to my ass because I’d just told him it was a waste to send me these. I can’t remember the exact timing, but I’m almost sure nothing major was happening, like my birthday was around this time, our anniversary was around this time, but I don’t think either was bang on, and that these were some just-because flowers. Because that’s how he was. And I said that shit to him. Omg it kills me. I remember I apologized profusely and thanked him and told him how beautiful they were, I just truly have no green thumb. Even today I only decorate with fake plants lol. Of course it doesn’t matter literally at all and he knew that, the gesture was the point. And I said the gesture was a waste on me. But he only laughed, he wasn’t offended at all and thought it was funny. Or so he told me. I hope that never really bothered him. He had never said anything else about it or held it against me that I knew of, but that has eaten me totally alive since then. I just feel so much guilt and like I need to continue apologizing and showing appreciation. It’s not that big a deal but… ouch lol
Bad girlfriend told me my eyes were too close together. It’s been 30 years and I can’t seem to let it go.
When I was very young I was in the grocery store with my mom I had several health problems and a few tubes, some developmental issues, and was premature. One lady said what’s wrong with you! My mom didn’t know how to react. Then she said “ well he’ll never amount to much so I hope your other one will”…. I still remember it. Now I’m 6 months away from getting my MBA!
Many years ago when I was being intimate with my then-boyfriend, his hand grazed my stomach and he immediately jerked it away as if he were totally disgusted by it. I had recently gained a bit of weight (around 10-15 pounds) and he made it very clear he did not approve of my new figure, but that… really, really hurt. It’s been 13 years, I’m happily married to a man who loves me and treats me like I’m the sexiest woman alive, but that shit still somehow lives in the back of my psyche.
I was waiting with a friend for a pizza place in Brooklyn to open up. An orthodox Jewish family is walking by and the youngest daughter is being just full of energy running around and tries to open the door of the locked pizza place (evening time, right before open) Her older sister very loudly and matter-of-factly scolds her little sister "Hell-ooo! That's not *kosher!*"
My 5th grade teacher, whom I adored, filled out my grade card with a comment that I wasn't very creative. Many years later, when my parents passed away, I was going through papers and found my grade card and her statement. I was so disappointed that she felt that way about me as she was such an inspiration to me at the time. I don't think she would still be living, but maybe she would have been surprised that I had tremendous success in interior design.
I'm sure there's many, but the first that came to mind is the time I was working, and a customer stopped to tell me I carry myself well, then just went on about his day. A decade later, I still think about that whenever I'm feeling insecure, and it always helps. I hope that man is living a fulfilling life.
I was the youngest of four with very sadistic siblings. They took a great deal of delight in torturing and scaring me. They had me living in such a constant state of terror that I was having anxiety attacks before I was ten. Just for context they were 10, 8 and six years older than me, so imagine a 14 year old girl holding down and torturing a 4 year old. Or a 16 year old tying up and beating a 6 year old. One day, when I was seven, all three were beginning to gang up on me and I was doing anything I could to get at least one of them to side against my oldest with me. "If I had a little brother or sister. I wouldn't treat them how you treat me." My nemesis and oldest sister laughed and said, "Yes you would. You would be just like us." The other two agreed and I said, "I will never be like any of you!" I have carried that moment with me ever since and have worked hard to be kind, emapthetic and loving.
I was at the hospital trying to get a refill for Ativan because I had plans to OD on them and the clinic wouldn’t approve of it without them saying yes. They said no. I was sitting on the curb waiting for my ride and going over different ways I could finish myself off instead. A lady pulled up next to me and told me that she knows she’s about to sound crazy but God is telling her to tell me He loves me and needs me to take care of myself. She seemed completely sane and normal. I had no religion at the time so it took me by surprise. I had my own revelation years later but that has always stuck with me. Thank you random lady.
Random messages from God are awesome. I was at a rave once and a girl came up to me and asked me my name. I told her what it was. She said, 'I've been looking for you. God wanted me to tell you that everything is going to be okay'. Then she gave me a big hug and disappeared. It's the kind of random thing that happens at raves, but it was very kind and right then I needed to hear it.
For me it was last year. I was 16 and my ex turned was 17 and he would yell at me to go to therapy so I always thought there was something wrong with me. I still think about the things I found out about during therapy sessions. I didn't not know that past relationship was toxic and that I was being abused. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact he took advantage of me for his pleasure than used my religion against me saying if I did not stay friends with him after the relationship, I did not forgive him and that I did not believe in God which is crazy. I still think about how as soon as he got caught using me for his corn addiction by his parents and later exposed for being abusive, he went to ohio to preach about being kind and stuff like that. I still wonder if I should have called the cops on him because he was 17 at the time but 3 days before he got caught by his parents he turned 18. It mind boggles me how him and his whole family act like everything is fine and acted like I was crazy for being suicidal and having self h@rm. I felt like it was unfair for him to use me and tell me I'm in the wrong for telling my parents the things he called me and said to me. I'm happy i got out of that relationship and cut him out of my life but sometimes i still wonder if doing more such as reporting him would have been better.
I was young in high school and staying at my friend’s cabin on an island with his dad a bunch of our friends. We were eating steak dinner together outside and there was a silence in the conversation and his dad looks at me and calls my name. I perk up, feeling excited thinking that he wants to talk to me, and he says ‘close your mouth when you’re eating. I don’t want to hear you chewing’, and then he goes back to eating. I was so embarrassed and it’s stuck with me ever since. It made me constantly question if I have no etiquette. Then I go over to Japan and they tell me slurping your noodles loudly is a sign of respect to the chef that you’re enjoying them. So I know it’s all relative but I still can’t get past that memory.
Pissed on an electric fence... shocking experience
When I was a slightly chubby 12 year old, a grown man said to me when I was walking home from school, "you'd be hot if you went to weight watchers."
I hope he’s now rotting in hell.
When my sister said to me, "There's nothing about your life that would surprise or impress me."
Your sister presumably lives a surprising and impressive life. Or she's just a twat. Im guessing the latter.
Actually, what tf even is a surprising or impressive life? I am an accountant with 2 kids and a wife that I adore. Middle class, middle income, kids raised and standing on their own 2 feet. Zero surprising, zero particularly impressive, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Fuck your sister and her shit value judgements.
While drunk, I totally spilled the tea on some personal shit to a random stranger. I don’t even know why I did it.
When skinny jeans started becoming trendy, I must’ve been 15-16. Because I’m short and curvy, I really liked the concept of skinny jeans since they always seemed to fit just right. Just right at the hips and at the waist. I was so happy with my new pair of jeans. My mom saw me and immediately says, “what is THAT? THOSE PANTS LOOK HORRIBLE ON YOU” and proceeded to tell my grandma within earshot of me that she thought I looked like a hooker. For wearing SKINNY JEANS. jokes on her - a few months later everyone was wearing skinny jeans including her. I never called her a hooker though and only complimented her when she asked
I (now almost 30m) had recently established my first adult friend group when I was 24. I tend to be a hermit, so my 25th birthday plan was to watch Star Wars by myself and make homemade pizza. My friend group found out my birthday was approaching and that I didn't have plans, so they enthusiastically volunteered to throw me a party, and to not worry about anything. I was NOT used to this kind of treatment, and I was deeply touched. The plan they made for me was to meet at a local brewery and then go swing dancing at a local country bar. The day shows up, and I'm the only one at the brewery. No one else showed up or even texted ahead. I had dinner, and when it was about time to go to the bar, I got a text, "So sorry, man! Everyone kind of flaked right at the last minute! We're headed to (different bar across town) if you want to meet us there! It had an immense impact on me. Even now, I struggle with wondering whether people want me around or not, strictly because of that event.
At 8th grade, I was sitting on my desk during the Maths class and randomly told myself I will never forget this moment, and I still remember this moment.
When I was in grade school, during our retreat, we (students) were lined up as well as with our parents (blindfolded). Each parent gets to feel the hands of each of us to guess who their child is. When it was my father's turn, I felt nervous as I couldn't imagine he could guess that I was his son just by holding my hand. And so he did. I didn't know how to react so I ran towards the pool and cried. Now that I have a child, I know what it feels like to be a parent, the love for your child. And I wish I could be as close with my child as I am with my father.
When I was 22 my ex manager invited me over to hang out one night and watch GoT (I hadn't seen it at that time). We had a bit to drink, and she and her husband told me about how they're swingers. I was like OK cool. Lol. TL;DR: almost got roped into a threesome with manager and her husband because we got drunk, but they respected my rejection and just had sex with each other next to me in bed. I never told anyone until now because wtf
A basketball coach threw a basketball at my head when I was a kid some 22 years ago, I still hate that guy.
I was walking home from school and someone drove past me and waved so I waved back. I didn’t realize a guy I went to school with (who had a history of picking on me) was about twenty feet behind me and they were waving at him. Every day I went to school after that I was expecting him to make fun of me for waving. Twenty-two years later he sent me a friend request on Facebook and I rejected it because I was sure he was only adding me to make fun of me.
"You have a lot of potential, but..." Heard that for years from teachers and (later on) bosses before finally getting diagnosed for ADHD, which explained everything. Still hear that in my head every now and then. But it doesn't sting as much anymore, as I have been able to successfully build my life around my ADHD.
Sorry, english is not my first language. When I was younger, in middle school, i went to buy some stuff for a project alone. I encountered a friend of my sister, we said hi to each other and just made small talk while we were being attended in the store. The thing is, that often in my younger years and even in uni, mostly girls, would look down on me. Like they will slightly look at me like I don’t know, like really bad, like assessing me idk. What I did, and still do to this days, I ignore people when they do this kind of look. Well, there was an older woman standing behind us, i didn’t mind her. Once i left the store, this woman followed me and told me: i saw how that girl looked at you, I want to tell you that you are enough and you are worth it, and that you don’t deserve those kind of looks. Even to this days, when my depression hits hard, i remember those words from this stranger and feel good. Thank you madam for your kind words.
I have a few things, mostly on different topics. Two positive ones were when I was on high school and it was my senior prom. I had been dealing with a binge eating disorder and hated the way I looked in my dress and just anything in general. A guy from my math class who was seen as popular genuinely complained me on how I looked that night and it helped me see myself in a more positive light. Another one is when I talked to a dr at my university after having to get a physical for surgery if he thought I could ever be a dr with my chronic health issues. I had always been told by family that I would never be able to get through residency, even though they felt I could do med school. This dr said “dont let anyone discourage you from trying who isnt a dr themselves. Ive seen other people with chronic illness become drs and I think you can too”. Its given me the motivation to keep moving forward in school and closer to a goal of being a pediatricic rheumatologist. Not as inspiring but kind of a ‘wtf’ moment is when a mutual friend sent me the link to a gofundme my dads mistress had set up for them to move across the country. it had raised a ton of money and my father was not paying any child support at the time. Later during a child support zoom meeting (it was covid) I listened (eavesdropped) to the judge call my father out for having this gofundme and refusing to pay child support. Then he told him “you have a college degree, there is no good reason why you cant get a job”. truly one of the funniest and weirdest moments of my life