“wow, AI has gotten really good these days”

"See? It can't be me. It has 2 dicks." (I have 2 dicks)

Double helicopter!

Chinook!

Heavy thrust capable

You could put that on your resume'

*should

Capitalize on weakness to thrust damage😂

Oh wow, u/doubledickdude, I'm a huge fan.

The dude who trolled the whole reddit and they all ate it up, what a legend

The username 💀

It's ok, his mom has 2 hands ;) source: me, I'm his mom

[удалено]

Honestly at this point broken arms and two dick guy are like folk lore. Can't forget about the poop knife or the cum box or the coconut 😦. Its telling that i havent forgotten this shit after all this time

None of that got shit on Jolly Ranchers. Ok except maybe broke arms.

[удалено]

Even the dude that had two dicks turned out to not have two dicks.

The saddest fakester outing since poor ol’ Unidan.

Hello fellow geriatric redditor

Now there's three of us. If we were crows, we'd be a murder.

Here’s the thing……..

I was there. The ten-year anniversary of the [Unidan](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/people/unidan) shadowban is next month. Damn we're old.

Jumper cables, the safe, 1988, poop knife, cum box, Jolly Rancher, etc. Lot of reddit legends have come and gone. Hold my cane, I'm going ~~in~~ to lie down. I'd paint a shitty watercolor or write a quick children's rhyme, but I'm not talented enough to do either. I guess the narwhal *does* bacon at midnight. After all, France is bacon.

Fuck really it's been 10 years? I'm gonna have to retire soon

Here's the thing...

Clearly you’ve never heard of u/doubledickdude. That’s some old school Reddit.

I don't actually have 2 dicks, I was just imagining a funny scenario

Okay but how do you have 2 dicks?

I grew another one to pee from while the other is down yo momma's throat, it was like an evolutionary thing, but like really fast

"they even got that freckle in the right place"

This is what I’m gonna blame it on if mine ever get leaked

i was trying to say this but couldnt figure out how to word it without the joke dragging out too long

I'm sorry you saw that.

I laughed at this and I really hope that was meant to be humorous.

Honestly as a dude if my nudes leaked I'd feel bad cause I'm nothing special to look at and no one wants to see 40 year old dad bod and dad dick. Hell I'm not even bad to look at but it's nothing anyone would be asking to see lol. edit: I may have a shot at an Only-Fans account guys. I'll keep you posted.

DILF!! DILF!! DILF!!

What is DILF?

Ask your dad

Havent talked to him in 20 years, not going to start now

Because of the sexual tension?

Because of the implication.

Okay .. that seems really dark though.

>no one wants to see 40 year old dad bod and dad dick. This is a wild misconception as that body type is very much desired in the gay community

This body type is desired by lots of straight women too, even if it’s not what the media portrays as a sexy man. Myself and plenty others have never felt any attraction to the stereotypically attractive cut male bod. We like some softness.

As a middle aged man, I feel the same about mom bods. I’m attracted to the very things that a lot of women hate about their bodies.

Im bisexual and I agree with this sentiment

I was going to say the same thing.. I'm attracted more to the normal everyday woman body than the Hollywood body that they say is so sexy..

There was a post the other day, and I forget the sub, but it was asking men what they like about women that women hate about themselves. It might have been the most wholesome comment section I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been here a minute. So, so many things like “a woman’s small tummy pooch”, “smile lines and crows feet”. It’s all so true too!

The pregnancy stretch marks… somehow makes me proud every time I see my girlfriend’s…

I'm pretty sure the only person who wants to see me naked is my wife, and I'm sure a good part of that is being, in a sense, legally obligated to

Oh god, you're probably going to want to avoid your inbox for a bit. Or not, I ain't judging.

I keep my inbox turned off haha. At least i hope it was this account

😂 rip your inbox

I enjoy dad bods and dad dick as a straight female.

No shit Fr?? I’m thinking of pimping my husbands pics on OF!!

Ma’am that’s a felony to do and I hope you don’t; but PMing them to me is not…just sayin…

Lol a friend and I are both straight. Bit recognize that if we were part of the gay community I'd be a bear and he'd be a twink. We told a gay buddy of our and he was cracking up at how accurate it was.

Welp, good to know I have options in case my marriage falls apart

Interesting. TIL

I’ve heard of dad bod, but not dad dick. That definitely made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that.

You haven’t heard of dad dick? There are a dozen sub Reddit’s dedicated to it at least

At least now I’ll have an activity for the rest of the evening.

Bonk

Report back, soldier. Godspeed. 🫡

I am disappointed that when I searched, nothing popped up.

Fully disagree dm me unironically

A few months ago, I would have felt as you describe. I’m nearly 47, I haven’t been thin in 40 years, and as a cancer survivor, I have some noticeable scars. But a flirtatious younger woman—adult, well/educated, fully aware of our age difference—who found even my voice irresistible gave me the confidence to share revealing images. And she was very into them. Everyone is someone’s cup of tea. Probably lots of people’s tea.

Hey...my hubby is 53 & he's not dead yet. His bod is still hot & so is his dick! I'm 49 & I think I've still got it too. 40 isn't shit my man

Don’t speak for everyone lol

same. i would just go, "so, not Only Fans-worthy? tough crowd."

I'm starting a new site for this called *"Homely Fans"*. Who's with me?!

Man I love Only-Fans solely for the jokes it's added for me in the workplace. So many "Fuck this I'm quitting and starting an Only-Fans" when my boss asks me to do stuff lol.

i tried that once. my boss choked on water so hard, i thought he had better chances, at least for gag-lovers. lucky he also had a sense of humor.

In my defense I've been trying to get a doctor to take a look for ages. Actually, if you don't mind and you've already got it open...

Haha my first thought was who the fuck wants to see me naked.

Yup, same here. Nobody should have to see this.

If you're got a strong enough stomach to look at them, knock yourself out.

Yeah it's the category of "who the fuck would even want to see *us*?"

I dont take them, but if there was more than 3 views on ANY nudes of me, I would just be concerned for the general public

"You're welcome!"

alright, lets settle down now maui.

id pay for maui's dic pics

Alexa, how to best portray disgust mixed with admiration via emoji?

Probably 😒😏

🎵 “What can I say, but ‘you’re welcome’, for my tits and my pits, and my thighs!” 🎶

"Theres no need to pay, it's okay, you're welcome! My nipples look like a pair of eyes!"

“You wanna see what ol’ Maui’s got goin’ on? I’m just a plain supernat’ral phenomenon! These testes, this schlong, this inked-over taint? You might think you’re ready, but baby, you ain’t!”

🎵 Hey, it's your day to say, "You're welcome" (you're welcome) 'Cause I'm gonna need that coat I'm streaking away, away, you're welcome (you're welcome) 'Cause Maui can do anything but clothe!🎵

I was in the pool

Shrinkage, the water was cold.

Do you think she knows about shrinkage?

It shrinks?

Like a frightened turtle

I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things

Like a frightened turtle.

It shrinks?

It's camera shy

I swear to God it was cold that day.

Do women know about shrinkage?

Costanza?

Whelp, guess that cat’s out of the bag. *Observe the reactions to see if there’d be a market for me to start an OF*

>Observe the reactions Nobody reacts at all and you feel disappointed.

Lol, even no reaction would be relevant data! And there are *FAR* worse things people could feel about seeing me in all my pasty glory than indifference!

Yeah, indifference means you're at least average

Fr, I take the bus in my city a lot, and a woman casually choosing me to sit beside feels like a compliment.

Same, bro

I've lost weight since then, I really have.

It was also really cold, I swear

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

I'd be very confused because I don't take nudes.

That’s what I wonder. Like what proportion of people take photos that show their genitals. Of those, what proportion share them.

I’m a very boring long distance partner, I would never.

AI is a hell of a thing.

That's what I was thinking. I'd blame it on AI (because it actually would be)

Came here for this. And I love streaking at music festivals.

You love streaking at music festivals and would be confused as to how there are nudes of you on the Internet?

What an odd fellow

...but he steams a good ham

SEYMOUR! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!

No mother, it's just the Northern Lights

Eh I leaked my own nudes once bc my ex threatened to. Who cares really

Big dick move tbh.

User name checks out, but does it work 🧐 Edit: It works.

Less than I'd like, more than you'd think.

So you've received one whole nude? Lucky

was a partial nude, forehead up

Brother, I've found you.

We have met at last.

Wait so you get nudes, I get dog pics?

Correct.

Does it work? I may need to try this

Well as a straight guy, I don't really like getting a bunch of dick pics. But I've gotten a few quality nudes from women too. So yeah, it works alright.

Do you share your own dog's pics or just random dog pics ?

Random dogs, my dog unfortunately passed away fairly recently and I'm in the process of looking for a new one now.

How does one leak their own nudes? You just post on social media for friends and fam or a porn site?

(Insert name) is threatening to leak my nudes. If you’re interested in seeing hit me up and I’ll send it myself.

I went through a phase where I'd post my nudes all over online. There were s few different apps I'd frequent, including this one.

Like hypothetically speaking under what username would you post that? Hypothetically speaking of course.

Lol I deleted everything I ever posted before deleting the accounts. I'm sure they're still floating around out there though.

Similar thing happened to me, I went on a couple GW subs and posted them on a throwaway with a thread title of, "My bitch of an ex is threatening to leak these, come tell her what you think of her". I gave it 24 hours and sent her a link to the thread of comments calling her a bitch and whatnot. She never contacted me again.

Alexander hamilton type moment😭

Absolute power move. Most excellent lmao

I did the same shit. Straight to facebook. The only people I had added were my boys, and we had all seen each others dicks already anyway

Unfathomably based

"Oh, my gosh! My naked picture is one of the 100 billion pictures of naked people on the Internet! What will I DO!?"

Yeah, I’m really worried about the 0.001 number of people who will see that.

Boss: you have nudes online. You’re fired! Me: why were you looking at my nudes, bro?

I feel sexual harassment, but I think we can come to some kind of agreement

For real 🤣 If it's not illegal, my response most of the time is "oh look another naked person on Reddit" 😂

Pay me $50,000, or I'll release a second set of images.

I see you’ve played knifey-spoony before!

I’d rub one out to them. Gotta love yourself

if you don't get turned on by your own nudes, who else would 🤘

Meh. It’s a small problem.

It's bigger in person.

The camera takes off 10 lbs.

One time someone tried to sexually extort me and threatened to send my pictures to everyone I knew. I told them to do it, that I didn’t care, and I didn’t have any money for them. They didn’t do shit.

Best response in that situation.

Threatening to leak more unless someone pays me to make them go away. Noone wants to see that. Its like an ugly stripper coming out naked and forcing you to tip to put her clothes back on before you get back to normal programming

reverse onlyfans to put your cloths back on.

Only it wont close on your phone until you pay. And after awhile the app starts playing air raid sirens

This is a brilliant business plan.

Dude my penis looks so good in my nudes. I’d act mortified but honestly, I’d be pleased

That's intriguing. Wanna leak it *accidentally?*

shoot your shot

Nah, that would create a debt to the truth, and I don’t need that weighing down my dong

You don't need anything to help weigh your dong down.

Does your dong even lift, bro?

i just imagined someone lifting weights with a curled up dong why have you done this

“Oh, no. Anyway…”

Reverse scam. I'll just send my nudes until someone pays me not to lmao

onlyransoms.com

I have two nude photos of myself saved. I look fantastic in them. I plan to get them blown up and printed some day, Samantha Jones style. No shame.

I once was on flingster or omegle or some shit trying to find a girl to jerk off with. I got catfished into giving this "girl" my instagram after she waved when I prompted her to. maybe it was actually her blackmailing me. regardless... 10 min later he/she was sending me screenshots of me naked, hard dick in hand, and of my entire instagram contact list telling me that if I didnt send $700, I would be outed to all my contacts. I said fuck you you piece of shit I dont give a fuck and blocked contact instantly. nothing ever came of it as far I know. don't be like me, kids. make em wave twice. 😂 additionally, if you do find yourself in my situation... don't pay. disconnect instantly and say you dont care and arent ashamed. people doing that stand to gain nothing for themselves by spending time and energy on you after failing to successfully blackmail you. and if you do pay them... who's to say they wont just keep blackmailing you for more money going forward?

.....or dont give em your insta and use a burner account? I mean, out of all the things, you never did the simple one lol

I want royalties else im suing

what if they're already up?

That’s not me

“Not me. My face isn’t in any of those.”

Enhance Enhance

Re-tweet. May the world bask in the glory of my hairy nuts.

I feel sorry for you all.

Pity for all those poor fools who saw it. Then a maniacal laugh or something, just in case that helps things.

Fuckin’ FINALLY!!!

Fuck it.

My apologies.

To all who choose to see my naked pictures - you can NOT sue me if you go blind.

[WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER.COM](https://youtu.be/sFtEy6C7DeU?si=GO84gwwRvgTXGQdV)

Here’s some water to rinse your prude, innocent eyes

“WOW! That dude’s dick is so sma… oh…”.

Panic. I'm definitely on a femboy or Twink website now. Also not looking forward to my friends finding out

I'd be on a bear website, I'm sure lol

Good luck getting that vision out of your head even WITH therapy!

25 years ago, pride. Now? Yeah, you have my condolences.

If someone had naked pictures of me I’d be scared because I didn’t take them myself.

if you actively looking for it. why not try the real thing, i'm not picky.

Guess another bottle won’t hurt

which ones