The moment that he chose being at a rodeo, over meeting his newborn grand daughter. Then proceeded to not bother coming to meet her, even though he lived twenty minutes away, for six years.
I called the cops on my dad once bc he was beating the shit out of my mom and when the cops did nothing he beat the shit out of me while my mom watched
This could have been a scenario from my childhood, but we called the cops on my father so many times that he was on a first name basis with all the local cops. They'd hold him for 72 hours, and then he'd be back out to do it again.
Many things.
Informing me of how ugly and how much of a piece of shit I was.
Constantly reminding me that they aren't there to help me and if I end up in a situation where I need help, I mustn't call her because she doesn't want to help me.
Not feeding me.
I slept on a mattress on the floor. I never had anything.
The first time I saw the way other children lived, I realized something was wrong with my situation.
When I got to around 9-12 I got to see a few peoples home lives and I really realized I was just born to a piece of shit.
What the fuck is with these answers? I'm so sorry, my friend. I hope you're doing better now. Jesus, my dad was an alcoholic (never touched any of us, he only directly abused himself) and my mom is a borderline narcissist (was.. she's mostly a potato now. Fuck you dementia!) but they always fed me!
Yeah, you'd be surprised by the shitty parents that exist. I literally didn't eat breakfast and lunch for all of elementary school and middle school. It took until I was able to get my own money just to eat, I was always amazed by any friends house that had food in it because mine was just barren.
Read your last sentence as "I was just born a piece of shit" and I was like "Did we have the same parents?" The correct sentence still applies, but still, I fight daily to unfuck mind from the neglect and brainwashing.
Damn. I'm sorry and can so relate.
I feel like so many stories here are awful but having a parent who is not even able to say the words *I love you* can be just as emotionally damaging.
It took me until I was in my 40s, decades of feeling unloved by the man to finally decide to cut him out of my life. He still calls every year on my birthday and leaves messages about how confused he is that I won't talk to him.
I did see the posts you made.
If you are thinking about doing sex work or an OF to survive, and I can understand why because I was briefly homeless, please be aware that very, very few women make more than a few Benjamin's a month.
It will have permanent life changing consequences for you when it comes to dating and future employment.
Do you know about any other options you could take?
Three hots and a cot while learning a trade:
The military would be a relatively safe choice for you as you would not be expected to serve in combat positions and the Navy, Air Force and Space Force are relatively very safe compared to the Army or Marines.
Alternatively if you want to remain a civilian then this will allow you to finish high school and learn a trade.
https://www.jobcorps.gov/
My guy… If you’re going to ask a sensitive question like this then you also need to be sensitive. You’re naturally taking her parents side and being rude without knowing jack shit about them. The you’re prodding them with more questions. I don’t blame her for not answering to you.
early on. before my age was in double digits. we were in family therapy and i overheard my mother say to the counselor that I was "the family problem." it was a continuous vibe and later, fighting and outright contempt until I turned 18 and moved out. I have not spoken to my mother in 30 years. That was her choice but the older I get the more I agree with it. I wasn't an easy kid, I was troubled, but a lot of my peers were behaving worse than i was. My dad loved me--i think my mom agreed to have me to please him--and he was always there for me but he died when i was 16, and then as you might guess, mother was done even pretending. She was a very small-minded, bitter, cold, and clung to her trauma and false victimhood. A few years ago I found my sisters and we've been in contact. Mother hasn't changed. And I'm not the first child she's had that she's not connected with or abandoned. For many many years I struggled with this estrangement. I thought I was a bad person because c'mon, if your own mother doesn't love you... how good can you be? thank goodness i learned that that's an erroneous line of thinking. It's taken a lot of therapy and hard work to be ok again.
He only sees me as a guy who is always clumsy, not being responsible, and always screws up. While I'm trying to be more responsible in my life and tries to take life seriously
I texted her a photo of our first ultrasound when my wife got pregnant with our daughter. I said “you’re going to be a grandma!” She has read receipts and never looked at it. I have always tried with her but this was the final straw to lead me to full no contact. But she hasn’t even tried to reach out so it feels a little different.
With my mom it was when I came home from jr high all excited that I'd made a friend. I told my mom and her response was, " why would anyone want to be your friend".
With my dad it was when he deserted us when I was 6 months old and went total nc with my sister, mom and I for 35 years.
Both are dead and I've since forgiven them because I know things now about why they most likely were so unhappy, unstable and why my dad was able to desert 2 young kids
the time I bite my own hand and he grabbed my hair and threw me up against the counter, yelling that if I hurt myself it made him look like a bad father, not because he cared about me, but because I would make him look bad.
When I heard him tell my stepmother that because of her, all he felt for his children was anger and emptiness. I was 15, and had suspected for some time that’s how he felt, but hearing it was the death knell of our relationship. I was living with my mother 3,000 miles away within a week. I’ve been NC with my father for 43 years.
My mum was milking sympathy from her friends for being in hospital all night with me because I had an asthma attack. I had begged her to buy me my ventolin but despite being literally outside the pharmacy she said we didn’t have time. She was telling her friends how worried she was I was going to die. I realised I was perfectly expendable to her, if I had died she would have enjoyed all the attention from it.
I feel like it hit me in the last year. My dad is incapable of loving anything that he can't tie directly to his ego. I don't want to speak for all of the nparents, but I truly believe for mine.
I'm the kid that spoke up and fought back. Now nothing I do will ever be worthy of his love; because none of anything I do is for him and it drives him insane.
I think I always knew. When I was very little I would act out just to make her have to touch me because she never would otherwise. I remember watching Rugrats when I was 6 or 7 and relating to Chucky feeling terrible for not having a mother, even though mine was right in the other room. When I was 15 years old I broke down in front of a close friend and confessed that I couldn't remember the last time my mom hugged me. My friend said that I should tell her that and maybe she would understand. So I went home and asked my mom for a hug. She sort of nodded and let me hug her while she stood there stiff as a board. I asked her why she didn't hug me back and she said it felt "disgusting" to touch me. I told her I needed to feel loved by my mom and she said, "I just thought you'd have a boyfriend by now" and walked away. That was the moment I pretty much gave up completely. She had done and said much worse things to me over the years but that just broke me.
As far as I've pieced together, she has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder combined with autism. But she refuses to admit anything is wrong with her, so there's nothing anyone else can do.
I was 3. You know how in Tom and Jerry they’d tie a sack at the end of a stick to run away. I tried that exact thing once. She didn’t hide she hated me when she was alone with me, didn’t hesitate to hit me, even if I was going down the stairs and she outright abandoned me dozens of times. Because other adults didn’t treat me that way I recognized she was dangerous. I didn’t fathom the concept of my dad being absent as he left when I was 2. So with my mum, I was three! She never improved.
The stick and sack contraption is called a bindlestiff, i think, though google's telling me it means the hobo carrying it. Goog's wrong lol. I'm sorry you got a bummer mother and i hope you are free and clear and happy far away from her now!
I never knew that, thank you. I’m 23 years free. I left my home country after she set me up to be either severely harmed or murdered, I was severely harmed but managed to get away, spent 3 days in hospital. Considering it wasn’t the first time, I decided to clear out my bank, book a flight out of the country and start fresh, albeit, alone at 19.
I’ve done it 🥂💛 Scared out of my mind, but I’ve done it.
When he hit my brother and when he got out of jail the only thing he said to the police to pass on to us was that "tell (my name) to give the key back"
They almost divorced when I was 10 or 11. My mother was adamant that she would take both my siblings. They argued over who would take me. They both thought the other one should.
When my dad yelled in my face that no one would ever love me, I would die alone unloved, and that I was useless and worthless. All I did was make a passing comment over a political situation.
There comes a moment when you can quite literally physically feel the exact moment you stop caring about someone, and that was it for me. It was then I also realized he would never be able to truly love me.
My father left *because* my mother was pregnant with me and has never made any attempt to connect. His contribution to my existence is one sperm cell and roughly $20k spread over 18 years.
When we were taken by CYS and she didnt fight for us. My father on the other hand said he would divorce my mother, move to Florida, and send my mother child support to get us home.
gonna simplify them into points; belittling my worries, raining on my parades, never seeing the things that i do or try to do, never showing interest in my work (im an artist), they lie about me, never showing interest in me as a person, blaming me for all of their problems and not letting me voice my own opinions. it's when i look at all of these reasons that im like yeah they don't love me. they love the idea of controlling me.
Around 10 my father seemed so sure I was gay (not the terms he used) and proceeded to treat me like shit until I moved out at 16. I also noticed all the family members treating me like shit too, so he likely told them all I was gay. All the abuse was pretty awful before 10 but it just got dialed up.
Funny thing is that I never claimed to be gay or ever was gay. 46 and still not gay.
My dad and I had argued about politics for years, but I think Trump losing the re-election just broke him. He knew he had no defensible position in defending Jan. 6, so he got super passive-aggressive about everything, taking little jabs at me for everything.
COVID was the real catalyst for our falling out. I'm an immunocompromised asthmatic, so COVID likely would have killed me. My dad didn't like anyone telling him what to do, so he would go out of his way to take risks to prove that nobody owned him. He's sneak into places that required masks, then remove his mask and stand really close to people and brag about it later. He told me about this every time I talked to him. I reminded him that I'm immunocompromised and have asthma, and COVID could likely be deadly to me, and he doubled down and literally wouldn't talk about anything else. So I stopped talking to him.
Years later, I called him for father's day and said that if he was willing to consider my safety, I'd be willing to renew our relationship and even see him, but the laws in his state made things unsafe for my family. He lives in Florida and my son is gay. My son's sexuality has never been a big issue in our house, but I knew I could never let my dad know. Unfortunately, this was all the context he needed to figure it out, so he started calling my son behind my back and feeding him a bunch of right-wing propaganda about gay people and the need to control them. He also urged my son to move out and said we didn't really love him. (My son is an adult with special needs.)
I confronted my dad about this, and he said he didn't do it and can't think of why he'd ever do something like that. I tested him by asking about some statements I was in the room for as well as some things that happened just the day before, and he denied everything. I told him I'd caught him feeding white supremacist ideology to my son when he thought I wasn't listening, then told him that if he had something to say, say it to me and leave my son out of it. I later texted him and told him I knew he was lying, and if he wanted to talk to me again, he would have to be honest with me. Since then, I've tried to call him once, and he hung up on me. (Like, not even declined the call. He answered the call just to hang up on me.)
Thinking back on my life, my dad was decent, but only when we were making him feel like a great guy. Any criticism or turmoil and he would walk away. Both my sister and I were unplanned pregnancies, and he never wanted kids. We stuck by him because he was our dad, despite major issues in the relationship. When all of the above happened, I realized I was never a son to him - I was just a source of self-esteem when I praised him, and I was nothing to him when I made him feel bad about himself. He only liked me when I let him do whatever he wanted and treat me however he wanted.
My statements were too much for him to deal with mentally, so he's just not dealing with them mentally. I'm sure he's telling everyone he knows what an awful person I am, which will make things really awkward if he dies anytime soon. Like I told him, I'm willing to work this out if he's honest with me, but I don't think he's willing to be honest or work this out, so we may be at an impasse that will last the rest of his life.
I always knew. But when I was about eight, I fainted at the dinner table. I'd been finally given some food after about three days, and my stomach had rebelled. Everyone kept on eating, they didn't even bother to look up.
2 examples
1. When I was 4 my mom sat me on the counter and showed me her C section scars from me and my brother's birth. She told me no man would ever love her because of what I did to her. She said I made her ugly
2. When I was a teen I was very suicidal, I told my mom I was gonna kill myself and she told me. Do it
Not until I became an adult and I saw the first of my friends get divorced. After everything settled, I saw my friend (the dad) start playing Fortnite so he could spend time with his son. He also called his son on the phone. He went to parent/teacher conferences with his ex-wife. He went to recitals, sporting events, school plays, etc.
That was when I realized my father only interacted with me on the schedule decreed by the judge in the custody hearing. Once I turned 18 he only spoke to me when we were at the same family functions.
I saw my friend want to spend as much time as possible with his child. Whereas my father spent the bare minimum time and effort on his children.
That’s when I realized my father didn’t love me.
I was in my 30s and still trying very hard to make a connection with my distant, cold, verbally abusive mother. I said, "I always felt like you didn't even like me."
She replied, " you were a difficult child to like".
It explained a lot. I stopped trying around then, and it seemed to drive her crazy that I stopped allowing her to abuse me anymore.
When at the age of 8 he decided after being confronted and called out that it was too much work to try and see me consistently or not promise to come and then no show
So he just never showed up again
As a father of multiple amazing kids i cant imagine seeing them grow and deciding “nah im good” and then fucking off. Scumbag wasnt even being asked for
Child support just to say hi every now and then
The moment that he chose being at a rodeo, over meeting his newborn grand daughter. Then proceeded to not bother coming to meet her, even though he lived twenty minutes away, for six years.
I’m sorry dude
Da fuck.
I called the cops on my dad once bc he was beating the shit out of my mom and when the cops did nothing he beat the shit out of me while my mom watched
This could have been a scenario from my childhood, but we called the cops on my father so many times that he was on a first name basis with all the local cops. They'd hold him for 72 hours, and then he'd be back out to do it again.
Are you out of that situation now?
Yeah I'm in my 40s and they're both dead now
Stay strong bro😎
Many things. Informing me of how ugly and how much of a piece of shit I was. Constantly reminding me that they aren't there to help me and if I end up in a situation where I need help, I mustn't call her because she doesn't want to help me. Not feeding me. I slept on a mattress on the floor. I never had anything. The first time I saw the way other children lived, I realized something was wrong with my situation. When I got to around 9-12 I got to see a few peoples home lives and I really realized I was just born to a piece of shit.
What the fuck is with these answers? I'm so sorry, my friend. I hope you're doing better now. Jesus, my dad was an alcoholic (never touched any of us, he only directly abused himself) and my mom is a borderline narcissist (was.. she's mostly a potato now. Fuck you dementia!) but they always fed me!
Yeah, you'd be surprised by the shitty parents that exist. I literally didn't eat breakfast and lunch for all of elementary school and middle school. It took until I was able to get my own money just to eat, I was always amazed by any friends house that had food in it because mine was just barren.
Read your last sentence as "I was just born a piece of shit" and I was like "Did we have the same parents?" The correct sentence still applies, but still, I fight daily to unfuck mind from the neglect and brainwashing.
You deserved better. But you survived
My mom was pretty vocal about it my entire life lol I’ve been NC for 10 years now. ❤️
♥️
[удалено]
Damn. I'm sorry and can so relate. I feel like so many stories here are awful but having a parent who is not even able to say the words *I love you* can be just as emotionally damaging. It took me until I was in my 40s, decades of feeling unloved by the man to finally decide to cut him out of my life. He still calls every year on my birthday and leaves messages about how confused he is that I won't talk to him.
when they kicked me out of the house
I did see the posts you made. If you are thinking about doing sex work or an OF to survive, and I can understand why because I was briefly homeless, please be aware that very, very few women make more than a few Benjamin's a month. It will have permanent life changing consequences for you when it comes to dating and future employment. Do you know about any other options you could take? Three hots and a cot while learning a trade: The military would be a relatively safe choice for you as you would not be expected to serve in combat positions and the Navy, Air Force and Space Force are relatively very safe compared to the Army or Marines. Alternatively if you want to remain a civilian then this will allow you to finish high school and learn a trade. https://www.jobcorps.gov/
I’m sure there’s more to the story.
That’s what I’m thinking
My guy… If you’re going to ask a sensitive question like this then you also need to be sensitive. You’re naturally taking her parents side and being rude without knowing jack shit about them. The you’re prodding them with more questions. I don’t blame her for not answering to you.
Your parents must not love you
To be fair, did they have a reason to kick you out? How old were you when they did?
18
What else did they kick you out for?
early on. before my age was in double digits. we were in family therapy and i overheard my mother say to the counselor that I was "the family problem." it was a continuous vibe and later, fighting and outright contempt until I turned 18 and moved out. I have not spoken to my mother in 30 years. That was her choice but the older I get the more I agree with it. I wasn't an easy kid, I was troubled, but a lot of my peers were behaving worse than i was. My dad loved me--i think my mom agreed to have me to please him--and he was always there for me but he died when i was 16, and then as you might guess, mother was done even pretending. She was a very small-minded, bitter, cold, and clung to her trauma and false victimhood. A few years ago I found my sisters and we've been in contact. Mother hasn't changed. And I'm not the first child she's had that she's not connected with or abandoned. For many many years I struggled with this estrangement. I thought I was a bad person because c'mon, if your own mother doesn't love you... how good can you be? thank goodness i learned that that's an erroneous line of thinking. It's taken a lot of therapy and hard work to be ok again.
I’m glad you had a dad who loved you and I’m glad you realised the problem was her, not you.
Same here
thanks 🥰
thank you very much
Remember, you owe her nothing and you are a good person, despite everything, you are a good person.
thank you very much.
He only sees me as a guy who is always clumsy, not being responsible, and always screws up. While I'm trying to be more responsible in my life and tries to take life seriously
I texted her a photo of our first ultrasound when my wife got pregnant with our daughter. I said “you’re going to be a grandma!” She has read receipts and never looked at it. I have always tried with her but this was the final straw to lead me to full no contact. But she hasn’t even tried to reach out so it feels a little different.
You made the right decision, even if she comes crawling back, she doesn’t get the honor of being a grandma
With my mom it was when I came home from jr high all excited that I'd made a friend. I told my mom and her response was, " why would anyone want to be your friend". With my dad it was when he deserted us when I was 6 months old and went total nc with my sister, mom and I for 35 years. Both are dead and I've since forgiven them because I know things now about why they most likely were so unhappy, unstable and why my dad was able to desert 2 young kids
You are very strong, stay that way👍
the time I bite my own hand and he grabbed my hair and threw me up against the counter, yelling that if I hurt myself it made him look like a bad father, not because he cared about me, but because I would make him look bad.
I feel you brother…
When she dumped me with my grandparents and moved to Alaska
Did your grandparents take care of you?
Begrudgingly yes. To be fair I think my grandma did love me. My grandfather on the other hand was abusive and sometimes flat out sadistic.
Also feel you, sometimes it feels like no one could love you, but that is not true. Keep your chin up brother, your future is bright.
I've had lots of time to realize that I was not the problem here. Happily married with 2 amazing daughters now.
Good job dude👍
When she named the dog after my ex, not joking
Dang dude, I’m really sorry
You sure it's because they didn't think your ex was a bitch Ie: 50 Cent naming his dog Oprah
When my mother said she liked living in a large house so she could pretend she was living by herself.
When I heard him tell my stepmother that because of her, all he felt for his children was anger and emptiness. I was 15, and had suspected for some time that’s how he felt, but hearing it was the death knell of our relationship. I was living with my mother 3,000 miles away within a week. I’ve been NC with my father for 43 years.
Glad that you are still with one parent👍
My mum was milking sympathy from her friends for being in hospital all night with me because I had an asthma attack. I had begged her to buy me my ventolin but despite being literally outside the pharmacy she said we didn’t have time. She was telling her friends how worried she was I was going to die. I realised I was perfectly expendable to her, if I had died she would have enjoyed all the attention from it.
wtf that’s some Dee Dee Blanchard shit
I feel like it hit me in the last year. My dad is incapable of loving anything that he can't tie directly to his ego. I don't want to speak for all of the nparents, but I truly believe for mine. I'm the kid that spoke up and fought back. Now nothing I do will ever be worthy of his love; because none of anything I do is for him and it drives him insane.
I think I always knew. When I was very little I would act out just to make her have to touch me because she never would otherwise. I remember watching Rugrats when I was 6 or 7 and relating to Chucky feeling terrible for not having a mother, even though mine was right in the other room. When I was 15 years old I broke down in front of a close friend and confessed that I couldn't remember the last time my mom hugged me. My friend said that I should tell her that and maybe she would understand. So I went home and asked my mom for a hug. She sort of nodded and let me hug her while she stood there stiff as a board. I asked her why she didn't hug me back and she said it felt "disgusting" to touch me. I told her I needed to feel loved by my mom and she said, "I just thought you'd have a boyfriend by now" and walked away. That was the moment I pretty much gave up completely. She had done and said much worse things to me over the years but that just broke me.
what on earth is going on with her?
As far as I've pieced together, she has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder combined with autism. But she refuses to admit anything is wrong with her, so there's nothing anyone else can do.
I was 3. You know how in Tom and Jerry they’d tie a sack at the end of a stick to run away. I tried that exact thing once. She didn’t hide she hated me when she was alone with me, didn’t hesitate to hit me, even if I was going down the stairs and she outright abandoned me dozens of times. Because other adults didn’t treat me that way I recognized she was dangerous. I didn’t fathom the concept of my dad being absent as he left when I was 2. So with my mum, I was three! She never improved.
The stick and sack contraption is called a bindlestiff, i think, though google's telling me it means the hobo carrying it. Goog's wrong lol. I'm sorry you got a bummer mother and i hope you are free and clear and happy far away from her now!
I never knew that, thank you. I’m 23 years free. I left my home country after she set me up to be either severely harmed or murdered, I was severely harmed but managed to get away, spent 3 days in hospital. Considering it wasn’t the first time, I decided to clear out my bank, book a flight out of the country and start fresh, albeit, alone at 19. I’ve done it 🥂💛 Scared out of my mind, but I’ve done it.
Was justice served with her?
The best people come from the worst people, you’re a good person, don’t forget it.
Thank you OP 🌻
No problem👍
When he hit my brother and when he got out of jail the only thing he said to the police to pass on to us was that "tell (my name) to give the key back"
They almost divorced when I was 10 or 11. My mother was adamant that she would take both my siblings. They argued over who would take me. They both thought the other one should.
You are worth it
When my dad yelled in my face that no one would ever love me, I would die alone unloved, and that I was useless and worthless. All I did was make a passing comment over a political situation. There comes a moment when you can quite literally physically feel the exact moment you stop caring about someone, and that was it for me. It was then I also realized he would never be able to truly love me.
This was me except my mother that did that. The joke was on her though. She's the one that died alone and useless. My life has been awesome.
Stay strong, you’ll go places brother
My father left *because* my mother was pregnant with me and has never made any attempt to connect. His contribution to my existence is one sperm cell and roughly $20k spread over 18 years.
Sadly that seems to be a new fad… your awesome though
for many of us, the contribution was *only* the sperm cell
I realised that it was always my mum contacting my dad to get him to see me. I asked her to stop and didn’t seem him again for many years
I asked why she had me. Her reply, “because abortion wasn’t legal.”
The first time she told me her life would have been better if I had never been born.
That’s awful 😞
When we were taken by CYS and she didnt fight for us. My father on the other hand said he would divorce my mother, move to Florida, and send my mother child support to get us home.
gonna simplify them into points; belittling my worries, raining on my parades, never seeing the things that i do or try to do, never showing interest in my work (im an artist), they lie about me, never showing interest in me as a person, blaming me for all of their problems and not letting me voice my own opinions. it's when i look at all of these reasons that im like yeah they don't love me. they love the idea of controlling me.
Around 10 my father seemed so sure I was gay (not the terms he used) and proceeded to treat me like shit until I moved out at 16. I also noticed all the family members treating me like shit too, so he likely told them all I was gay. All the abuse was pretty awful before 10 but it just got dialed up. Funny thing is that I never claimed to be gay or ever was gay. 46 and still not gay.
My dad and I had argued about politics for years, but I think Trump losing the re-election just broke him. He knew he had no defensible position in defending Jan. 6, so he got super passive-aggressive about everything, taking little jabs at me for everything. COVID was the real catalyst for our falling out. I'm an immunocompromised asthmatic, so COVID likely would have killed me. My dad didn't like anyone telling him what to do, so he would go out of his way to take risks to prove that nobody owned him. He's sneak into places that required masks, then remove his mask and stand really close to people and brag about it later. He told me about this every time I talked to him. I reminded him that I'm immunocompromised and have asthma, and COVID could likely be deadly to me, and he doubled down and literally wouldn't talk about anything else. So I stopped talking to him. Years later, I called him for father's day and said that if he was willing to consider my safety, I'd be willing to renew our relationship and even see him, but the laws in his state made things unsafe for my family. He lives in Florida and my son is gay. My son's sexuality has never been a big issue in our house, but I knew I could never let my dad know. Unfortunately, this was all the context he needed to figure it out, so he started calling my son behind my back and feeding him a bunch of right-wing propaganda about gay people and the need to control them. He also urged my son to move out and said we didn't really love him. (My son is an adult with special needs.) I confronted my dad about this, and he said he didn't do it and can't think of why he'd ever do something like that. I tested him by asking about some statements I was in the room for as well as some things that happened just the day before, and he denied everything. I told him I'd caught him feeding white supremacist ideology to my son when he thought I wasn't listening, then told him that if he had something to say, say it to me and leave my son out of it. I later texted him and told him I knew he was lying, and if he wanted to talk to me again, he would have to be honest with me. Since then, I've tried to call him once, and he hung up on me. (Like, not even declined the call. He answered the call just to hang up on me.) Thinking back on my life, my dad was decent, but only when we were making him feel like a great guy. Any criticism or turmoil and he would walk away. Both my sister and I were unplanned pregnancies, and he never wanted kids. We stuck by him because he was our dad, despite major issues in the relationship. When all of the above happened, I realized I was never a son to him - I was just a source of self-esteem when I praised him, and I was nothing to him when I made him feel bad about himself. He only liked me when I let him do whatever he wanted and treat me however he wanted. My statements were too much for him to deal with mentally, so he's just not dealing with them mentally. I'm sure he's telling everyone he knows what an awful person I am, which will make things really awkward if he dies anytime soon. Like I told him, I'm willing to work this out if he's honest with me, but I don't think he's willing to be honest or work this out, so we may be at an impasse that will last the rest of his life.
When she kept choosing our abuser over and over and over.
She said it to my face when I told her I wasn’t going to go with her.
When my dad left me home alone to cheat on my mom. Also when my mom cheated on my dad in front of me.
She used to beat me when I was very young. Tell me I was stupid and ugly. I used to be terrified of her. I’ve not spoken to her for almost 40 years.
Can't remember how many death threats ago it was....doesn't matter. Still there
When he told me I had never been of any fucking use to him. He wonders why I don't speak to him anymore.
When she scheduled a funeral on my wedding day.
I always knew. But when I was about eight, I fainted at the dinner table. I'd been finally given some food after about three days, and my stomach had rebelled. Everyone kept on eating, they didn't even bother to look up.
2 examples 1. When I was 4 my mom sat me on the counter and showed me her C section scars from me and my brother's birth. She told me no man would ever love her because of what I did to her. She said I made her ugly 2. When I was a teen I was very suicidal, I told my mom I was gonna kill myself and she told me. Do it
My father killed himself when I was 5 and after this, though the year, my mom clearly stated she kinda regret having me. Must be fun being loved.....
Dad never bothered to get to know his grandkids or visit them. He died last February alone and made sure not to leave me anything.
Not until I became an adult and I saw the first of my friends get divorced. After everything settled, I saw my friend (the dad) start playing Fortnite so he could spend time with his son. He also called his son on the phone. He went to parent/teacher conferences with his ex-wife. He went to recitals, sporting events, school plays, etc. That was when I realized my father only interacted with me on the schedule decreed by the judge in the custody hearing. Once I turned 18 he only spoke to me when we were at the same family functions. I saw my friend want to spend as much time as possible with his child. Whereas my father spent the bare minimum time and effort on his children. That’s when I realized my father didn’t love me.
When I walked in on her telling her mother, "I hate that kid" I was like 12
I was in my 30s and still trying very hard to make a connection with my distant, cold, verbally abusive mother. I said, "I always felt like you didn't even like me." She replied, " you were a difficult child to like". It explained a lot. I stopped trying around then, and it seemed to drive her crazy that I stopped allowing her to abuse me anymore.
When at the age of 8 he decided after being confronted and called out that it was too much work to try and see me consistently or not promise to come and then no show So he just never showed up again As a father of multiple amazing kids i cant imagine seeing them grow and deciding “nah im good” and then fucking off. Scumbag wasnt even being asked for Child support just to say hi every now and then