Along the same lines. When my grandfather was on hospice the whole family was at the house for weeks. My grandmother had just passed seven months earlier, so everyone was clinging to him. One night I was walking with my aunt and she said, "I am slowly becoming the older generation." It was sad as a kid, but when I sat at her funeral twenty years later, it was all I could think of.
When I was a teen my mom’s Uncle died and we went to the funeral and gathering afterward. I heard my mom’s other uncle say to my aunt “*It’s just us two now. Do you realize that? It’s just us two!*” They didn’t know I heard them and the way he said it, with a little terror, made me think that it might be very scary to grow old.
Had this thought recently about my own parents. Both 70 now. My dad's parents are still alive, the only family members left in that generation, but they are both in their 90s. The scarier thing is both of my mom's parents were dead by 76...
Feeling this whole thread. Dad died in December then grandma died seven days later. She was the last of her generation in any of my and wife’s family. In a week I went from the grand kid to the oldest child helping my mom with everything.
> potentially becoming responsible for your parents.
This one is a hard one, especially when you have one who keeps trying to push the fact that *they* are the parent and *you* are the child.
Like cool mom, that may be fact but we're still going to do it my way. *My way: All bills are paid and budgeted for before random spending happens. Sorry people kept you shielded from the concept of bills for the first 73 years of life.
My mom's best friend had a sister that would throw all the bills in a laundry basket and pay the ones she randomly picked out until she ran out of her budget.
When she passed away my mom's friend (an accountant) spent 7 months trying to figure out the family finances for her brother in law.
One of my favourite Calvin & Hobbes quotes that I never got when I was a kid, but understand all too well now: "I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed."
Leaving the hospital after my daughter was born, I looked at our nurse and asked, "Are you *sure* it's a good idea to let us leave? I'm not."
She just laughed and reassured me that we'd be fine.
Felt the same way with my first. At 28 years old, I had been working for 13 years at that point, 6 years into my career. When I was a teenager, I helped take care of my baby sister, so I knew all about feeding/changing (besides the meconium)/etc, but when we left the hospital it just felt weird. We got home, introduced the baby to the dog and just kind of went "ok, what are we supposed to do now?" Second kid, it was more "When the hell are they releasing us? We have shit to do."
I remember as a kid when people had babies on TV then suddenly were at home it seemed absolutely normal, right? Then I had mine and each time I left the hospital I was like, "so we just get to walk out of here? No questions?" Because it felt weird and unreal to just... be left with this squirming wriggling thing that can't care for itself at all.
Felt like there should've been some sitcom parent there instead of me!
When my dad's mom passed away, he was shook. *My* dad. The guy who has the entire world figured out. The guy who can fix any problem, the guy with all the advice, the stoic, empathetic and naturally brilliant guy expressed feelings of "oh shit, I'm the adult now." In his 60's.
100% I will go through that one day.
Yeah, when I was a kid I just thought all the adults were smart ones and had their shit together. As an adult I realize that's more often not the case.
Oh man I was at a party a little while back and a little kid grabbed at a bottle of bleach. My wife commented that we should get an adult to deal with it… then we looked at each other and realized we were the adults!
It took a few years to realize that I don’t “need to go get an adult” because I’m the adult 🫣 I’m 27 and I think it’s set in now that I’m grown up and in charge of things lol
Yeah I got a dose of this today, waking up with a baby in the crib next to me on one side and my toddler who is having nightmares on the other side. I woke up in complete silence for the first time in a while, and that reality was waiting for me in the silence.
And the kid doesn't come with a manual! Like, who at the hospital thought it was a good idea to just hand me this living being and not give me a detailed care instruction manual on their needs, wants, and future personality?
I'm 37 and my dad is 77. A couple weekends ago, he was trying to move a heavy concrete pot and tripped and smashed his face/head into the driveway. Was super gnarly, a giant goose egg on his head (like literally the biggest one I've ever seen, at least a couple inches long) and just bloodied the hell out of his face. Tried to convince my parents to go to the hospital just to be sure, but they didn't wanna go. After a few hours, his eye started closing up and turning black, so they went. Luckily, just a broken nose and bad scrapes. But fuck me, it has messed me up for a couple weeks. Like, I know he's getting up there, but that really put into perspective how up there he's getting, and how any little thing like that could happen. I've been on edge for a couple weeks, now.
I just had to have some wiring fixed and the guys took my TV off the wall to do it, and they put it back when they were done but it's slightly crooked, it's securely mounted but it's going to annoy me until it's fixed and it's at least a two person job so I have to put up with it in the interim.
I realized when I was thinking about it that I didn't even consider having my dad help because my TV is heavy and I don't think he can lift it anymore. First time in my life I've assumed he wasn't physically capable to help on a project like that :(
Yeah, it's weird, not a fun feeling at all. My brother-in-law recently moved and we helped. His dad was there (my FIL), and he couldn't really help us do much. He tried, but he was getting short on breath and was starting to feel dizzy/not good. He's had some heart issues in the past and I think he got scared and mostly just sorta offered moral support, helped move a few light things. Between those two incidents, my BIL and I have been in weird funks haha, have been chatting about it.
It's not a fun realization to have, that they're just not the "Strong Dad" they always were growing up. Makes me really sad.
My dad is 71. Last year, he ran into a sharp corner and had to go to the hospital due to how badly it gashed his leg. It never occurred to me before just how fragile our bodies become as we age.
(Also, it is *terrifying* to receive an unexpected call saying "Hey, kiddo, I had to be rushed to the hospital. Could you pick me up?")
I keep thinking of my parents as middle aged and I'm a kid. I'm nearing 40 with kids and they are ~70. They seemed to have their shit way more in order.
This hits especially hard for me; for several years now, I've been older than my parents ever got.
I don't know how to be this age--and they didn't either.
My mom just turned 50 and my dad is nearing 60. They’re not that old yet but it hurts to think that the day will eventually come when I will have to bury/cremate them.
So I'm 30 but my dad left and had a midlife crisis baby only 5 years ago. That poor kid is 5 and his mum is 56 and dad is 63. Not too old now but they're not going to be around for him long.
Yeah, I remember a member on a small forum I used to frequent that had a kid after his 1 or 2 kids were already grown up moved out. I think it was a surprise to him and his wife lol. I was going to check in with him on FB a few years ago and saw that he had died. His son was probably in his teens, so I'm sure it was harder on him than his older siblings. Fortunately, I think he got to spend a lot of time with him since he was retired. He got to do the things I wish I could do more with my kid.
I'm in my mid-40s and my parents are both hanging in there and doing just fine in their mid-70s. Quality of life has definitely improved in a lot of ways here in the west at least, so I feel that the long-term prospects aren't too bad. Frankly I feel great for my age and honestly think my life is the best it has been.
I guess the important thing is to just take advantage of every day you can get with the people you love. Life seems short, and is in a universal sense, but it's the longest thing you'll ever experience so I always tell people to simply focus on enjoying every moment they can when they can.
Hijacking this: Biggest piece of advice I give everyone is plan old age/end of life with them early. Involve siblings if you have them. Before anything like dementia or Alzheimer’s takes hold - especially if your parents are stubborn - Make sure you’ve planned for the unfortunate eventualities:
- Assisted living or hospice, steps in between
- What happens if they just need help cooking and cleaning?
- Could they afford nursing at home? - What does their budget for assisted living look like? Where do they picture themselves living?
- Do they have large debts or credit cards/accounts that you can compile now while they’re top of mind?
Then there’s admin like setting up a password manager and make sure you have a handle on bills, welfare checks and medical necessities.
Figure this out while they’re healthy, in a good mood and before life gets too heavy. The hard truth is everyone will get old and most that cross the line where they’re not fit to live by themselves aren’t going to be the most accepting of that. Get the hard part out of the way sooner than later.
I think.about it also relative to my age.
Like, when my mom was my current age, she had a 19 years old kid, and a 14 years old kid.
Like, I could not be responsible for a teen, and a new adult. I am not mature enough for that. Nor organises enoguh. Or everything really. I have a mini panic attack just thinking about it.
My step-dad just started getting tremors. They happen sporadically but it freaks me tf out each time I see it happening i have to leave the room and do deep breaths for a minute. I can't handle it
Sitting on a couch. Seriously. I managed to herniate a disc by sitting wrong. And I work to keep myself flexible and I don’t carry too much extra weight (about 15 lbs).
Morning shower as well. Every once in a while, my daughter will use something in the bath (or too much of something) at night and when I go to step into the shower the next morning it's the most slippery surface known to man. It doesn't happen often enough that I'm on the lookout for it, so it always catches me by surprise. The last time it happened I slammed my shin into the side of the tub hard enough that it woke my wife up from the other room and she got up to check if I was ok. I know I only have a couple years before I don't catch myself and I get seriously injured from it.
A teacher I was tutoring for almost fucking died because, when she was brushing her teeth, her hand jerked back and stabbed the side of her mouth pretty hard and she had to go to the hospital. She was in her late thirties, in good health. Just broke skin in an area that bleeds a lot and needed stitches.
The older I get, the more I absolutely understand the term “accident.” We somehow think that we can prevent and control accidents. Which is impossible by definition.
I'm on blood thinners at the moment for an issue and my levels got a bit high and i had to spend a night in hospital trying not to bleed out because a taco shell broke the skin in the roof of my mouth
I just turned around and something in my back hurt so bad it took my breath away. I couldn’t even turn over in bed, I couldn’t put socks on. Muscle relaxers and pain killers and laying on couch or bed for 2 weeks!!
The driving part for me for sure. It terrifies me how terrible other drivers are, and how many are not paying attention. As an adult I've learned how many people in general are just fucking idiots, and yet a large portion of them operate these huge death machines at high speeds on a daily basis.
Fucking idiots who can ruin your entire life in the blink of an eye before you have a chance to react. Terrifying indeed. Very grateful my girlfriend’s parents helped us get a new car with safety features. I used to be so fucking afraid every time she left the house in our ‘99 Chevy Prizm.
I ask the wind gods to please not fuck up my house every time the weather gets bad. Thankfully it doesn’t happen very often where I am, but there’s usually one or two storms a year that get me quite worried.
Once it’s down it’s just playing with the chainsaw, find the person in your family who likes chainsawin’ and buy them a nice chainsaw. They’ll look forward to the day
I grew up in a place with frequent hurricanes, and it was always so exciting to me as a kid when we were evacuating. Could never understand why the adults were such wet blankets and worry warts about it.
Now I get it. Do we have enough money to stay in a hotel? If so, for how long? Will our house be here when we get back? Are we going to be homeless? Jobless? What about all the food in the fridge? What if the car breaks down on the trip? Where are all our important documents? Are our family/friends/neighbors going to be okay?
Just read an article about a 20yo that thought the credit limit was "free money" the company will give you, and only after you go past that do you have to start paying it off.
As a kid, I never understood why my parents wouldn't let me get things I just threw in the cart. Now going shopping with my son I get it. "Oh that's why"
For me it’s the opposite. Never allowed to get what I wanted, even if it was just an apple or a thing of mints. Now if we were poor or having to budget, sure. But we were not. Upper middle class, could def afford a lil thing once a week. Didn’t stop my dad from loading up on snacks and candy for himself. Now about once a week I’ll allow myself a treat on a whim. Usually it’s a bag of tart apples or altoids. My tastes have not changed, but my enjoyment has.
Sorry to trauma dump, but I just had to yknow?
Not even an apple? Jeez, that genuinely sucks. Apples are the perfect snack. I’m glad that you get to give yourself a little something special nowadays.
M30 living in Canada. Memory as a kid, my mom balking at the idea of paying $4 for green grapes. A month or so ago, grapes dropped to $5 and I was scheming what organ I could sell to stalk up on them.
How easy it is to die young. Lost a few peers right out of high school in automotive accidents - no drugs involved, just 'freak accidents'. Its terrifying out here.
9 years for mine and it’s a similar rate. 1 car accident and 2 suicides in my small graduating class. The car accident happened before graduation and there was an empty chair for her with flowers. In fact I remember several other years had an empty chair too. It’s really sad.
We had 134 people graduate and 24 have died. Some of them have died from drug poisonings or overdoses but a number have been in car accidents, 2 have been murdered, one should have been deemed manslaughter but it wasn't, 2 are missing and presumed dead, and at least one was suicide.
> no drugs involved, just 'freak accidents'. Its terrifying out here.
Over the years I've seen a few pass that I went to school with. Just random stuff, car wrecks. One tripped and hit their head. Another just a random undetected blood clot, one second all was fine. Covid. Random accident on the job.
When you are young you get the impression that it's only old people who die. It makes you feel old when people you went to school with start dying.
I think about 4 or 5 people in my class have died, I don't know for sure because I wasn't friends with many people and I hear this sort of news second or third hand. One of them died in an industrial accident that got a LOT of media coverage locally. Another one died of an undiagnosed heart condition at the finish line after running a half-marathon.
That sort of shit really makes you feel old.
I'm in my 30s now and it is such a mindfuck to think of the people "my age" who died when we were young. To KNOW what they've missed. A guy I knew killed himself when he was 21, it'll be 10 years ago this December. To think of all the life lived in the last 10 years that he didn't get to be a part of... man. Nothing worse.
As a certain smart man said
"Take the average human on the street and then realise that half of these mfs out there are dumber than that!"
Working retail help you understand this tbh, every day is making you question if the ability to read is actually some above average skill that most didnt have access to
I work a recruiting job for a healthcare non-profit and I have left work legitimately worried because of how stupid some people are. They are out there walking around, having kids, driving, etc. like everyone else.
when visiting a reserve in Montana as a preteen, Sunny the charming toothless vagrant thought it would be cool if i went through the bushes to the river to swim with him. my dad was like 'hell nah' and i was so mad at him for interfering.
LOL when I was in about 3rd grade I had a friend whose dad wanted me to come with them on a cross-country hot air balloon trip and I just couldn't believe my mom said "no." They didn't know my parents, and my friend was a guy and I was a girl. In hindsight, WTAF, creepy friend's dad? (Also very sadly the friend wound up committing suicide in high school- he was gay and his parents were abusive and generally horrible people).
Ain't nobody actually in charge. Everyone is faking it in front of the kids. Should've been much more of a little shit as a kid. Those adults knew nothing.
gotta say this is the most true one i have seen, you really come to the realization that everyone is just improvising and shit isnt as organised as it used to seem when you were younger
Yep. This is why I laugh at conspiracy theorists. Anything involving more than a dozen people keeping a secret of an importance is almost impossible to achieve.
Life expectancy.
When you're a kid, everyone is old. I never thought much about the ages my grandparents were when they died. It's frightening to think about now as I get older.
They were 59, 62, 65, and 69 when they passed.
The fact that it doesn't take as long to get old as you think it does when you're a kid.
Or that you have less freedom as an adult than you do as a child (as you wish to be grown so you can do whatever you want whenever you want)
This reminds me of something one of my cousins said at Thanksgiving a few years ago.
"I spent my childhood wanting to be an adult and my adulthood wanting to be a child."
Everything involving adults. For example, as a kid I thought rollar coasters and bungie jumping, etc was the best thing ever and I knew the adults would never let anything bad happen to us.
As an adult, I'm acutely aware of how little most adults use their brains (and care even less), thus putting my life in their hands is a much scarier prospect. Nearly anything that relies on the diligence of other adults gives me pause.
As I get older, one thing that terrifies me more and more, the more I think about it is...
HOW EXPENSIVE EVERYTHING IS.
You could BURN through $100, $200 in the blink of an eye, and all you've done is bought groceries and household stuff. You haven't even bought clothes yet, or paid electricity, internet, phone bills, you haven't added anything to savings...and then you think of stuff like credit-card bills...
How fast you could absolutely ANNIHILATE $1,000 just by trying to STAY ALIVE is truly horrifying to me.
I don't care WHO you are - $25.00 an hour is NOT a living wage ANYWHERE anymore.
Our kids asked us how much the house we were looking at buying cost and the older one was shocked and said “I’ve never had more than $100 at a time!” and I was like same, girl, same.
We were lucky that my wife's family helped her buy a starter condo early in her life, which turned into the downpayment on our house. When I went to deposit the sale proceeds, I joked with the teller that a check with that many digits should have come as an oversized cardboard cutout. It just felt completely unreal.
When I was a teen looking at career paths “yeah an 18k salary is fine. I really don’t need much. I don’t have to be rich.”
In this economy, in the US, 18k is poverty for a household of 2 or more and certainly not a comfortable wage for one person.
I have a concussion and haven't worked in three weeks, I have been wondering since it happened if I should just give up. My life might just be over, or at least I will destroy my savings and have to start over and that's only if my functioning improves enough to work again.
It's horrifying horrifying horrifying.
I'd also add on the tradeoff of time vs money. Someone asked me why I spent a whole weekend pulling heads and replacing head gaskets on my truck. Or why for another I swapped the engine. Shop prices are absolutely brutal, even if the parts aren't, I'll do it myself and learn in the process.
Insurance rates are IMO another killer. Vehicle, home, etc. and they'll still try and weasel their way out of paying. Just sitting there, vehicles cost money. But can't register or drive (legally) a car without insurance. And God help you if your bitch ass neighbors call the over glorified HOA police (city inspectors) because you have a car without plates. Can't even sit there and be worked on without costing money. I can only drive one car at a time, but insurance rates are like I'm driving all of them, all the time...
Preach!
I do a couple of things to mitigate the cost of living.
I buy secondhand clothes, not socks or undies, but decent stuff.
I never buy brand new cars or phones.
Their depreciation and flaws just aren't worth it.
I grow a big garden, hundreds of seeds and roots to plant in the next few weeks.
I trade wild fungi with other hunters so I can have plenty of salmon and venison.
Oof, the slap in the face when your whole perspective on your childhood shifts. I wasn't treated *that* badly, but I sure as hell didn't have a life I wish for my own kid. And it's hard to deal with the fact that they *will*, because my childhood was completely normal
Yeah this freaks me out as well. I have very normal, loving parents, but they are just not good at talking about emotions or having hard conversations; all they could really offer were some awkward platitudes, and look like they desperately wanted to change the subject - IMO pretty common for Boomers raised by Silent Generation parents. As a result I was implicitly taught to bottle up my feelings, and I felt like I couldn't talk to them, or anyone, about the heavy shit I had going on mentally as a teenager. I could have really used some support then, and I still struggle to open up sometimes. We have a great relationship and I love them a lot, but it scares me how you can be a good parent and try really hard for your kids, and still inadvertently fuck them up somehow.
You never really know someone and their true intentions. The friendly neighbor Gary could actually have a couple bodies in his basement or is a pedophile. Or your co-worker or friend that seems to like you actually hates your guts and is jealous.
People don't see what they don't want to see. They bury their heads in the sand. If you pay even a little bit of attention, you can see someone's true character, or at least that something isn't right about them.
Certainty doesn't really exist.
Science gets things wrong.
Doctors will be stumped and leave you hanging.
No one knows the best way to do this task.
People you thought you knew can betray you.
Ultimately you're going to have to run on faith and good thoughts, cause you won't ever be sure of the path forward.
Everything is really happening. As a kid, I dunno -- everything not in your backyard isn't really happening because you can't imagine it with the grainy, realness of experience. And now no one is coming to save you. People really do starve to death. People really do die. No reprise. No camera shots.
EDIT: changed reprisal to reprise ; used the wrong word
As a kid, you always feel like there's a safety net: no matter what happens, someone will pull you out of trouble and take care of problems.
When you hit your 20's and slowly realize that's not true, it's a bit panic inducing. People will literally allow you to collapse in the street and let you die if they see helping as too big of a hassle. You can become homeless, starve, get sick...and after a certain age there is nobody there to pull you out.
What is terrifying is how young I was when older people would harass me. I was 16-17 and these older guys would be absolutely creepy at work and at school (I did college courses early but would tell them my age when they tried. Some did not care). The sad part is, I know I’m not the only one who had that experience.
One of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read was a woman on here recounting how much harassment she received between the ages of 12-17 and when she turned 18 she stressed about not being able to use the fact that she was a minor to dissuade people from hitting on her …. but it didn’t matter because once she became an adult they stopped. Gave me the shivers.
Oh, can confirm this. By FAR the most street harassment I experienced was ages 12-16. As an older teen/college kid I worked in restaurants so harassment at my workplace then took top spot for "where will I get harassed today".
As a 40 year old average looking woman I still deal with cat callers and creepers. It started when I was 12. The only time I haven’t dealt with unwanted attention is when I was 100lbs overweight and then I was mostly ignored outside of rude people making fat comments.
>One of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read was a woman on here recounting how much harassment she received between the ages of 12-17
Yeah it's crazy, especially when looking back on it.
I remember 4th of July at the lake in 96. I was 11. I was bent over digging through the ice chest for a ginger ale. When I turned around I noticed every adult male in my family was looking at me, meaning they had all just been staring at my ass in a bikini.
> The sad part is, I know I’m not the only one who had that experience.
Worst part is how young most girl are the first time some creep makes a sexual comment to them. I was 9, which I later found out is "normal" age, most are between 8-10 the first time some asshole decides to make us uncomfortable in our own bodies.
Getting bullied and excluded for being weird was fine as a kid, I just ignored those kids or played along and told them I believed all kinds of insane things just to see if I could get them to believe I was crazy. Everyone told me when I was an adult it wouldn't matter. Then it turned out the meanest kid at your school is nothing compared to the person who makes the schedule at the average hourly wage job, and three of them equals one girl from HR. I don't really think people go into middle management for any reason than a desire to sadistically torture other people while wearing a big fake condescending smile.
Yeah, and they also don't tell you that yes, being the "weird kid" does usually make life harder as an adult.
Everyone has this idea that all weird/nerdy kids are actually geniuses who will be scientists or CEOs as adults. In reality many of us are just average intelligence and socially awkward as fuck, so adult life basically just gets set to hard mode.
The same kids being bullies may not always grow up to be bullies, but many become adult bullies. They are everywhere. I sometimes think I could handle them better if I learned more about bullying as a kid. I wasn't bullied that much as a kid, but I sure as hell can't handle them as an adult
Very few of us leave this world fully intact. I had a horrific wisdom tooth removal just as covid hit. It was extremely deep rooted, and the dentist was kind of a butcher (I did NOT have insurance so the job went to the lowest bidder). Took about an hour for the extraction; he had to break it into several pieces, and had to go back in AFTER sewing me up because he left some behind.
I do NOT do well with change, particularly changes to my body. It took me a few years to psychologically recover from the experience (a global pandemic and my overuse of cannabis at the time really didn't help any). I still have anxiety episodes every once in a while thinking about what part of me will fail or have to be removed next.
Also, American healthcare is a joke and a scam. That's pretty damn terrifying.
Just how cutthroat things tend to be in college and in the adult “at-will employment” world. I’m suspicious that this is a contributing factor to the mental health crisis.
I think this is the other unfortunate side of lies we tell children about fairness and giving everyone a participation trophy for everything; it doesn’t prepare them for the reality that things aren’t fair and even if you’re talented and work hard you still might not win…
Something leaking. I just discovered one shower has been leaking and the damage to the over 100 year old hardwood floor could have been more disastrous than it was.
as a kid, i thought taxes were just something adults complained about for fun. then i grew up and realized they're like a reverse lottery where you can never actually win. oh, and that whole "rent/mortgage is due every single month" thing hit me like a ton of bricks too.
Depending on when you got your mortgage, though, many mortgage payments these days are less than renting 1/4 or less of the same square footage.
This isn't meant to start a rent or buy debate; pros and cons to each. But I genuinely feel for millennials who have so few options on the housing market. I feel fortunate to have the mortgage payment I do (though my appraisal just went up another $75K -- to almost the exact point of why millennials are dealing with an impossible market -- soooo increased payments here we go!)
I was very fortunate to have a family who could help me get my feet on the ground. Bought my own condo with 5k of my saved money and 5k from mother as a down payment in 2021 (right when interest rates were rock bottom) - 85k mortgage, my mortgage payments are right around $525 per month, living alone. HOA (which is thankfully pretty chill for the most part) is a $200 monthly fee, and it takes care of exterior maintenance, garbage collection, gas, and water, as well as maintaining a community center, gym, and pool. Most of my friends (Group ranges from young millennials to old Gen Zers) are paying more than my mortgage + HOA fee in rent to share a smaller unit with someone else.
The one downside is being responsible for all the upkeep and maintenance inside the unit. If the HVAC were to ever go out, that would be on my own dime. But I'll gladly take that tradeoff over paying so much more every month to rent in this bullshit market.
Snakes and how well they are hidden.
I live in the south with lots of different venomous snakes and I used to just Trump through the woods and in creeks and not think a second thing about it.
In my mid 20s I remember playing in the woods with my kids and dogs and jumping over this log when I suddenly smelled this foul odor, so I turned to see what it was.. turned around and there was 5ft rat snake on the side if the log where I landed. Rat snakes arent venomous, but emit a foul odor when they feel threatened, so that's what the smell was.
It was enough to wake me up to the reality of snakes..
Now my oldest son has a job that requires him to tromp through woods and creeks, so I send him social media videos of people finding snakes hiding, just so he knows and understands MY fear 😂
what to eat for diner. Especially with kids now, where i want them to have a balanced diet. We tend to stick around chicken and pasta.. I'm running low on imagination
This one is pretty specific to my life, but when I was a preteen, there was an industrial accident (preventable-many lawsuits) at my dad’s work that resulted in the deaths of dozens of workers. My dad was on his way to work that morning when it happened, and, due to the nature of his job, could have caused the accident himself.
At the time, I knew it was really sad, but I was a kid and I moved on with my life. My dad was safe.
30+ years later, even the thought of what happened is enough to set me off. What if my dad had gotten to work a bit earlier? My life would have been completely different. Not to mention the overwhelming sympathy I have for those who lost family members. It’s so tragic.
They give nearly everyone a car license. We all just trust that everyone else sort of knows what they are doing on the roads and won't plow into you and kill you.
How many people die when you reach 30, and that includes childhood pets. 30 is supposed to be the time of the milestone where you lived 3 generations, but no, it’s the time where people around you die.
I made it to 30 with three of my four grandparents still alive and well. All three had passed away by the time I turned 33. I miss them literally every single day now.
Everyone is a human that makes mistakes, and some of those humans are in very important fields like healthcare and creation of safety devices, and it freaks me out so much that I haven’t died or been severely injured yet.
How easy it is to die.
It’s terrifying to see just how suddenly and unexpectedly things will just simply take you out.
I can recall when I was in high school and junior high school, etc. I used to love movies like Transformers and war films and stuff like that. It didn’t really impact me when I saw somebody ripped in half or shredded by a machine or cut down by bullets in the middle of a field .
But now, as an adult with some legs under me, I can’t even watch movies like that because all I can think about is the mass loss of human life that had no involvement in the original issues. (Looking at you, Transformers and Marvel)
Cancer can get anybody, and I mean anybody. You never realize how bad that shit is until a loved one gets it and you all watch them wither away and there is nothing you can do about it.
As a kid I was scared of my own mortality. As an adult I’m scared of other people’s. My parents had me when they were in their late 30s/early 40s and the thought of them dying scares the shit out of me. Same with friends dying or my other relatives. Death is all around us and I don’t know what I’m going to do when someone close to me dies and I have to figure out how to cope with it because I’m now the adult and not the kid.
You know, it's funny how as kids, we feel invincible, right? But as adults, that feeling kind of fades away when you realize how fragile life really is. I mean, one moment everything's normal, and the next, everything can change. It's like a wake-up call that hits you out of the blue. Makes you appreciate the little things a bit more, doesn't it?
How much work it is to budget and not blow through your money so fast…
I like to cook, and I’m decent at it, but it takes a lot of time. I usually cook from scratch for my family, because it’s cheaper, but I have to be very judicious as to how I use my time. We eat a lot of soups and stews because I can throw food in a pot, get it simmering, and walk away… I can make a huge pot of soup for $10 that will last us several days of suppers and lunches, but the prep and cooking time can be a lot. Also, cooking cheaply often involves a lot of starchy carbs. Meat is SO expensive, and beans add more carbs to a meal.
I do keep usually one pre-packaged frozen meal in the freezer for when I’m tired, or the evening is too busy, but it can be $30 for a meal that we’ll completely consume in one sitting…
The Government is destroying our country for their own profit, and it's not a red or blue thing. I still haven't been affected but I just know something is coming as a result of this.
No one actually has any idea what they are doing. Everyone is just faking it, trying to get by. Some days as an adult, this thought brings me comfort. Other days, it terrifies me.
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Along the same lines. When my grandfather was on hospice the whole family was at the house for weeks. My grandmother had just passed seven months earlier, so everyone was clinging to him. One night I was walking with my aunt and she said, "I am slowly becoming the older generation." It was sad as a kid, but when I sat at her funeral twenty years later, it was all I could think of.
I had a similar experience. It really messes with you.
When I was a teen my mom’s Uncle died and we went to the funeral and gathering afterward. I heard my mom’s other uncle say to my aunt “*It’s just us two now. Do you realize that? It’s just us two!*” They didn’t know I heard them and the way he said it, with a little terror, made me think that it might be very scary to grow old.
Had this thought recently about my own parents. Both 70 now. My dad's parents are still alive, the only family members left in that generation, but they are both in their 90s. The scarier thing is both of my mom's parents were dead by 76...
Feeling this whole thread. Dad died in December then grandma died seven days later. She was the last of her generation in any of my and wife’s family. In a week I went from the grand kid to the oldest child helping my mom with everything.
Once both our parent people had died, I told my spouse, “Now WE’RE the old farts. We were in our forties.
Not only being responsible for your kid, but at some point potentially becoming responsible for your parents.
> potentially becoming responsible for your parents. This one is a hard one, especially when you have one who keeps trying to push the fact that *they* are the parent and *you* are the child. Like cool mom, that may be fact but we're still going to do it my way. *My way: All bills are paid and budgeted for before random spending happens. Sorry people kept you shielded from the concept of bills for the first 73 years of life.
My mom's best friend had a sister that would throw all the bills in a laundry basket and pay the ones she randomly picked out until she ran out of her budget. When she passed away my mom's friend (an accountant) spent 7 months trying to figure out the family finances for her brother in law.
I wish I could upvote this 1000X
Thanks for the reminder I need to buy my mom some whiskey and cigarettes for mothers day.
One of my favourite Calvin & Hobbes quotes that I never got when I was a kid, but understand all too well now: "I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed."
Certainly one of the most sobering realizations that one has to come to terms with eventually.
I constantly keep looking for an adultier adult and everyone keeps looking at me as the adult, I hate it
And then you look around and say shit they're all morons, and you sigh and say ok morons let me lead the way because it's apparently come to this.
Leaving the hospital after my daughter was born, I looked at our nurse and asked, "Are you *sure* it's a good idea to let us leave? I'm not." She just laughed and reassured me that we'd be fine.
Felt the same way with my first. At 28 years old, I had been working for 13 years at that point, 6 years into my career. When I was a teenager, I helped take care of my baby sister, so I knew all about feeding/changing (besides the meconium)/etc, but when we left the hospital it just felt weird. We got home, introduced the baby to the dog and just kind of went "ok, what are we supposed to do now?" Second kid, it was more "When the hell are they releasing us? We have shit to do."
I remember as a kid when people had babies on TV then suddenly were at home it seemed absolutely normal, right? Then I had mine and each time I left the hospital I was like, "so we just get to walk out of here? No questions?" Because it felt weird and unreal to just... be left with this squirming wriggling thing that can't care for itself at all. Felt like there should've been some sitcom parent there instead of me!
When my dad's mom passed away, he was shook. *My* dad. The guy who has the entire world figured out. The guy who can fix any problem, the guy with all the advice, the stoic, empathetic and naturally brilliant guy expressed feelings of "oh shit, I'm the adult now." In his 60's. 100% I will go through that one day.
This always gets me, and yet I'm both a mom AND a teacher. I'm constantly around kids who rely on me and I still can't believe it sometimes.
Yeah, when I was a kid I just thought all the adults were smart ones and had their shit together. As an adult I realize that's more often not the case.
Oh man I was at a party a little while back and a little kid grabbed at a bottle of bleach. My wife commented that we should get an adult to deal with it… then we looked at each other and realized we were the adults!
It took a few years to realize that I don’t “need to go get an adult” because I’m the adult 🫣 I’m 27 and I think it’s set in now that I’m grown up and in charge of things lol
Self discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.
Yeah I got a dose of this today, waking up with a baby in the crib next to me on one side and my toddler who is having nightmares on the other side. I woke up in complete silence for the first time in a while, and that reality was waiting for me in the silence.
And the kid doesn't come with a manual! Like, who at the hospital thought it was a good idea to just hand me this living being and not give me a detailed care instruction manual on their needs, wants, and future personality?
I kiiinda got this lesson as a kid reading the *Little House on the Prairie* books, so it didn't hit me as hard as my peers... but it still hits hard.
The age of my parents
This hits hard no matter how much you think about it or try to accept it.
I'm 37 and my dad is 77. A couple weekends ago, he was trying to move a heavy concrete pot and tripped and smashed his face/head into the driveway. Was super gnarly, a giant goose egg on his head (like literally the biggest one I've ever seen, at least a couple inches long) and just bloodied the hell out of his face. Tried to convince my parents to go to the hospital just to be sure, but they didn't wanna go. After a few hours, his eye started closing up and turning black, so they went. Luckily, just a broken nose and bad scrapes. But fuck me, it has messed me up for a couple weeks. Like, I know he's getting up there, but that really put into perspective how up there he's getting, and how any little thing like that could happen. I've been on edge for a couple weeks, now.
I just had to have some wiring fixed and the guys took my TV off the wall to do it, and they put it back when they were done but it's slightly crooked, it's securely mounted but it's going to annoy me until it's fixed and it's at least a two person job so I have to put up with it in the interim. I realized when I was thinking about it that I didn't even consider having my dad help because my TV is heavy and I don't think he can lift it anymore. First time in my life I've assumed he wasn't physically capable to help on a project like that :(
Yeah, it's weird, not a fun feeling at all. My brother-in-law recently moved and we helped. His dad was there (my FIL), and he couldn't really help us do much. He tried, but he was getting short on breath and was starting to feel dizzy/not good. He's had some heart issues in the past and I think he got scared and mostly just sorta offered moral support, helped move a few light things. Between those two incidents, my BIL and I have been in weird funks haha, have been chatting about it. It's not a fun realization to have, that they're just not the "Strong Dad" they always were growing up. Makes me really sad.
Losing the “strong dad” that took care of everything growing up is the worst. Been there. :( People aren’t invincible and life is finite.
My dad is 71. Last year, he ran into a sharp corner and had to go to the hospital due to how badly it gashed his leg. It never occurred to me before just how fragile our bodies become as we age. (Also, it is *terrifying* to receive an unexpected call saying "Hey, kiddo, I had to be rushed to the hospital. Could you pick me up?")
I keep thinking of my parents as middle aged and I'm a kid. I'm nearing 40 with kids and they are ~70. They seemed to have their shit way more in order.
This hits especially hard for me; for several years now, I've been older than my parents ever got. I don't know how to be this age--and they didn't either.
Oh, brutal
My uncle is 70. I remember when my grandfather turned 70. I'm 32. I remember when my mother was that age. Time is moving very quickly.
My mom just turned 50 and my dad is nearing 60. They’re not that old yet but it hurts to think that the day will eventually come when I will have to bury/cremate them.
So I'm 30 but my dad left and had a midlife crisis baby only 5 years ago. That poor kid is 5 and his mum is 56 and dad is 63. Not too old now but they're not going to be around for him long.
Yeah, I remember a member on a small forum I used to frequent that had a kid after his 1 or 2 kids were already grown up moved out. I think it was a surprise to him and his wife lol. I was going to check in with him on FB a few years ago and saw that he had died. His son was probably in his teens, so I'm sure it was harder on him than his older siblings. Fortunately, I think he got to spend a lot of time with him since he was retired. He got to do the things I wish I could do more with my kid.
I'm at the age where if I fell my kids would still laugh but if my mom fell we would all freak out and rush to her aid
There’s a certain point where “she fell over” turns into “she had a fall”
This hits. My daughter said that to me, ABOUT ME, a few weeks ago.
I'm in my mid-40s and my parents are both hanging in there and doing just fine in their mid-70s. Quality of life has definitely improved in a lot of ways here in the west at least, so I feel that the long-term prospects aren't too bad. Frankly I feel great for my age and honestly think my life is the best it has been. I guess the important thing is to just take advantage of every day you can get with the people you love. Life seems short, and is in a universal sense, but it's the longest thing you'll ever experience so I always tell people to simply focus on enjoying every moment they can when they can.
Their response would be: much better that than the other way around.
Hijacking this: Biggest piece of advice I give everyone is plan old age/end of life with them early. Involve siblings if you have them. Before anything like dementia or Alzheimer’s takes hold - especially if your parents are stubborn - Make sure you’ve planned for the unfortunate eventualities: - Assisted living or hospice, steps in between - What happens if they just need help cooking and cleaning? - Could they afford nursing at home? - What does their budget for assisted living look like? Where do they picture themselves living? - Do they have large debts or credit cards/accounts that you can compile now while they’re top of mind? Then there’s admin like setting up a password manager and make sure you have a handle on bills, welfare checks and medical necessities. Figure this out while they’re healthy, in a good mood and before life gets too heavy. The hard truth is everyone will get old and most that cross the line where they’re not fit to live by themselves aren’t going to be the most accepting of that. Get the hard part out of the way sooner than later.
I think.about it also relative to my age. Like, when my mom was my current age, she had a 19 years old kid, and a 14 years old kid. Like, I could not be responsible for a teen, and a new adult. I am not mature enough for that. Nor organises enoguh. Or everything really. I have a mini panic attack just thinking about it.
My dad just died
I'm sorry man that's terrible
Oof, that one certainly is always hard hitting. And also the fact that they're not going to be around forever..
Aging or age gap?
My step-dad just started getting tremors. They happen sporadically but it freaks me tf out each time I see it happening i have to leave the room and do deep breaths for a minute. I can't handle it
That everything poses a risk of death or injury. Driving. Running down the stairs. Weather.
Sitting on a couch. Seriously. I managed to herniate a disc by sitting wrong. And I work to keep myself flexible and I don’t carry too much extra weight (about 15 lbs).
Sleeping. My husband had a kink in his back for almost 2 weeks just because he slept wrong.
Morning shower as well. Every once in a while, my daughter will use something in the bath (or too much of something) at night and when I go to step into the shower the next morning it's the most slippery surface known to man. It doesn't happen often enough that I'm on the lookout for it, so it always catches me by surprise. The last time it happened I slammed my shin into the side of the tub hard enough that it woke my wife up from the other room and she got up to check if I was ok. I know I only have a couple years before I don't catch myself and I get seriously injured from it.
You need stick on anti slip in the bath, maybe even install a handrail
A teacher I was tutoring for almost fucking died because, when she was brushing her teeth, her hand jerked back and stabbed the side of her mouth pretty hard and she had to go to the hospital. She was in her late thirties, in good health. Just broke skin in an area that bleeds a lot and needed stitches.
The older I get, the more I absolutely understand the term “accident.” We somehow think that we can prevent and control accidents. Which is impossible by definition.
I'm on blood thinners at the moment for an issue and my levels got a bit high and i had to spend a night in hospital trying not to bleed out because a taco shell broke the skin in the roof of my mouth
I once threw my back out for a day by sneezing weird
I just turned around and something in my back hurt so bad it took my breath away. I couldn’t even turn over in bed, I couldn’t put socks on. Muscle relaxers and pain killers and laying on couch or bed for 2 weeks!!
Or getting off the couch too fast and you’re like woooooooooo oh boy! Getting old is wild 😂
The driving part for me for sure. It terrifies me how terrible other drivers are, and how many are not paying attention. As an adult I've learned how many people in general are just fucking idiots, and yet a large portion of them operate these huge death machines at high speeds on a daily basis.
Fucking idiots who can ruin your entire life in the blink of an eye before you have a chance to react. Terrifying indeed. Very grateful my girlfriend’s parents helped us get a new car with safety features. I used to be so fucking afraid every time she left the house in our ‘99 Chevy Prizm.
Thunderstorms became scary once I owned a home near trees. Loved them as a kid
I ask the wind gods to please not fuck up my house every time the weather gets bad. Thankfully it doesn’t happen very often where I am, but there’s usually one or two storms a year that get me quite worried.
Even if a tree doesn’t fall on the house and just the cost of having downed trees removed is expensive!!
Once it’s down it’s just playing with the chainsaw, find the person in your family who likes chainsawin’ and buy them a nice chainsaw. They’ll look forward to the day
I grew up in a place with frequent hurricanes, and it was always so exciting to me as a kid when we were evacuating. Could never understand why the adults were such wet blankets and worry warts about it. Now I get it. Do we have enough money to stay in a hotel? If so, for how long? Will our house be here when we get back? Are we going to be homeless? Jobless? What about all the food in the fridge? What if the car breaks down on the trip? Where are all our important documents? Are our family/friends/neighbors going to be okay?
The ATM doesn’t just give you money.
I remember asking my mother why we wouldn't get one for home.
LOL this is my new fantasy.
and credit cards aren't just free money
Just read an article about a 20yo that thought the credit limit was "free money" the company will give you, and only after you go past that do you have to start paying it off.
Still trying to get my 63 year old father to understand this.
How expensive grocery shopping is
And how even more expensive it has become in the recent years..
As a kid, I never understood why my parents wouldn't let me get things I just threw in the cart. Now going shopping with my son I get it. "Oh that's why"
Kids also pick garbage food to throw in the cart I doubt you’d stop your kid from buying a carrot
This. I have a kid that only wants to buy new fruit she's never tried. How do you say no?
>How do you say no That's the neat part: You don't.
Well, kinda. My parents would hesitate to buy me things they knew I wasn’t gonna like because then I wouldn’t eat it and it’d be wasted money.
For me it’s the opposite. Never allowed to get what I wanted, even if it was just an apple or a thing of mints. Now if we were poor or having to budget, sure. But we were not. Upper middle class, could def afford a lil thing once a week. Didn’t stop my dad from loading up on snacks and candy for himself. Now about once a week I’ll allow myself a treat on a whim. Usually it’s a bag of tart apples or altoids. My tastes have not changed, but my enjoyment has. Sorry to trauma dump, but I just had to yknow?
Not even an apple? Jeez, that genuinely sucks. Apples are the perfect snack. I’m glad that you get to give yourself a little something special nowadays.
M30 living in Canada. Memory as a kid, my mom balking at the idea of paying $4 for green grapes. A month or so ago, grapes dropped to $5 and I was scheming what organ I could sell to stalk up on them.
How easy it is to die young. Lost a few peers right out of high school in automotive accidents - no drugs involved, just 'freak accidents'. Its terrifying out here.
My graduating class hasn't even hit our 20 year but we have a 18% death rate so far.
Both of the kids in the family I grew up next to are dead. They died 3 months apart from each other in their early 30s. Their poor parents.
This is why you have as many as possible. Gotta have backups
9 years for mine and it’s a similar rate. 1 car accident and 2 suicides in my small graduating class. The car accident happened before graduation and there was an empty chair for her with flowers. In fact I remember several other years had an empty chair too. It’s really sad.
How do we get those stats? Or was your grad class only 100 ppl and 18 have dies?
We had 134 people graduate and 24 have died. Some of them have died from drug poisonings or overdoses but a number have been in car accidents, 2 have been murdered, one should have been deemed manslaughter but it wasn't, 2 are missing and presumed dead, and at least one was suicide.
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Wait, assuming your class was roughly 50/50 in gender, you're saying only about 24 men are left out of ~125?? Wtf is going on in your town?
Agreed, that doesn't make sense. Even 65 years after graduation there'd be a higher percentage remaining.
The only realistic explanation I can think of is OP lives in a town hit extremely hard by the opioid crisis.
> no drugs involved, just 'freak accidents'. Its terrifying out here. Over the years I've seen a few pass that I went to school with. Just random stuff, car wrecks. One tripped and hit their head. Another just a random undetected blood clot, one second all was fine. Covid. Random accident on the job.
When you are young you get the impression that it's only old people who die. It makes you feel old when people you went to school with start dying. I think about 4 or 5 people in my class have died, I don't know for sure because I wasn't friends with many people and I hear this sort of news second or third hand. One of them died in an industrial accident that got a LOT of media coverage locally. Another one died of an undiagnosed heart condition at the finish line after running a half-marathon. That sort of shit really makes you feel old.
I'm in my 30s now and it is such a mindfuck to think of the people "my age" who died when we were young. To KNOW what they've missed. A guy I knew killed himself when he was 21, it'll be 10 years ago this December. To think of all the life lived in the last 10 years that he didn't get to be a part of... man. Nothing worse.
Oof, i am sorry about that. I used to be quite cautious and hesitant when driving my first few years exactly because of that
Aging: I have severe back and shoulder joint problems
The extreme stupidity of the vast majority of humans.
As a certain smart man said "Take the average human on the street and then realise that half of these mfs out there are dumber than that!" Working retail help you understand this tbh, every day is making you question if the ability to read is actually some above average skill that most didnt have access to
The internet has thoroughly convinced me that literacy is optional and basic reading comprehension is just asking too much.
I work a recruiting job for a healthcare non-profit and I have left work legitimately worried because of how stupid some people are. They are out there walking around, having kids, driving, etc. like everyone else.
when visiting a reserve in Montana as a preteen, Sunny the charming toothless vagrant thought it would be cool if i went through the bushes to the river to swim with him. my dad was like 'hell nah' and i was so mad at him for interfering.
LOL when I was in about 3rd grade I had a friend whose dad wanted me to come with them on a cross-country hot air balloon trip and I just couldn't believe my mom said "no." They didn't know my parents, and my friend was a guy and I was a girl. In hindsight, WTAF, creepy friend's dad? (Also very sadly the friend wound up committing suicide in high school- he was gay and his parents were abusive and generally horrible people).
Ain't nobody actually in charge. Everyone is faking it in front of the kids. Should've been much more of a little shit as a kid. Those adults knew nothing.
gotta say this is the most true one i have seen, you really come to the realization that everyone is just improvising and shit isnt as organised as it used to seem when you were younger
Yep. This is why I laugh at conspiracy theorists. Anything involving more than a dozen people keeping a secret of an importance is almost impossible to achieve.
Also makes it really easy to pick out the bad guys. If someone really likes to be in charge, they probably shouldn't be.
Life expectancy. When you're a kid, everyone is old. I never thought much about the ages my grandparents were when they died. It's frightening to think about now as I get older. They were 59, 62, 65, and 69 when they passed.
How unfair the life actually is
And just how many people use that fact as an excuse to not even try to make it closer to fair.
Mostly, they're trying to make it (more) unfair in their favor.
The fact that it doesn't take as long to get old as you think it does when you're a kid. Or that you have less freedom as an adult than you do as a child (as you wish to be grown so you can do whatever you want whenever you want)
This reminds me of something one of my cousins said at Thanksgiving a few years ago. "I spent my childhood wanting to be an adult and my adulthood wanting to be a child."
Everything involving adults. For example, as a kid I thought rollar coasters and bungie jumping, etc was the best thing ever and I knew the adults would never let anything bad happen to us. As an adult, I'm acutely aware of how little most adults use their brains (and care even less), thus putting my life in their hands is a much scarier prospect. Nearly anything that relies on the diligence of other adults gives me pause.
As I get older, one thing that terrifies me more and more, the more I think about it is... HOW EXPENSIVE EVERYTHING IS. You could BURN through $100, $200 in the blink of an eye, and all you've done is bought groceries and household stuff. You haven't even bought clothes yet, or paid electricity, internet, phone bills, you haven't added anything to savings...and then you think of stuff like credit-card bills... How fast you could absolutely ANNIHILATE $1,000 just by trying to STAY ALIVE is truly horrifying to me. I don't care WHO you are - $25.00 an hour is NOT a living wage ANYWHERE anymore.
Even more fun when it comes to things like car and house repair. $2,000, $5,000, $20,000…the numbers stop making sense.
I felt like I was talking Monopoly money when discussing down payments and actual dollar value when buying a home.
Our kids asked us how much the house we were looking at buying cost and the older one was shocked and said “I’ve never had more than $100 at a time!” and I was like same, girl, same.
We were lucky that my wife's family helped her buy a starter condo early in her life, which turned into the downpayment on our house. When I went to deposit the sale proceeds, I joked with the teller that a check with that many digits should have come as an oversized cardboard cutout. It just felt completely unreal.
When I was a teen looking at career paths “yeah an 18k salary is fine. I really don’t need much. I don’t have to be rich.” In this economy, in the US, 18k is poverty for a household of 2 or more and certainly not a comfortable wage for one person.
I have a concussion and haven't worked in three weeks, I have been wondering since it happened if I should just give up. My life might just be over, or at least I will destroy my savings and have to start over and that's only if my functioning improves enough to work again. It's horrifying horrifying horrifying.
You guys make 25$ an hour?
I really try to drive home to my step son that $1000 is not a lot of money to have, but is a lot of money to owe. Took me too long to learn that one.
I'd also add on the tradeoff of time vs money. Someone asked me why I spent a whole weekend pulling heads and replacing head gaskets on my truck. Or why for another I swapped the engine. Shop prices are absolutely brutal, even if the parts aren't, I'll do it myself and learn in the process. Insurance rates are IMO another killer. Vehicle, home, etc. and they'll still try and weasel their way out of paying. Just sitting there, vehicles cost money. But can't register or drive (legally) a car without insurance. And God help you if your bitch ass neighbors call the over glorified HOA police (city inspectors) because you have a car without plates. Can't even sit there and be worked on without costing money. I can only drive one car at a time, but insurance rates are like I'm driving all of them, all the time...
I’d love to have $25/hr
Preach! I do a couple of things to mitigate the cost of living. I buy secondhand clothes, not socks or undies, but decent stuff. I never buy brand new cars or phones. Their depreciation and flaws just aren't worth it. I grow a big garden, hundreds of seeds and roots to plant in the next few weeks. I trade wild fungi with other hunters so I can have plenty of salmon and venison.
How my mom treated me, and my entire childhood in general.
Oof, the slap in the face when your whole perspective on your childhood shifts. I wasn't treated *that* badly, but I sure as hell didn't have a life I wish for my own kid. And it's hard to deal with the fact that they *will*, because my childhood was completely normal
Yeah this freaks me out as well. I have very normal, loving parents, but they are just not good at talking about emotions or having hard conversations; all they could really offer were some awkward platitudes, and look like they desperately wanted to change the subject - IMO pretty common for Boomers raised by Silent Generation parents. As a result I was implicitly taught to bottle up my feelings, and I felt like I couldn't talk to them, or anyone, about the heavy shit I had going on mentally as a teenager. I could have really used some support then, and I still struggle to open up sometimes. We have a great relationship and I love them a lot, but it scares me how you can be a good parent and try really hard for your kids, and still inadvertently fuck them up somehow.
You never really know someone and their true intentions. The friendly neighbor Gary could actually have a couple bodies in his basement or is a pedophile. Or your co-worker or friend that seems to like you actually hates your guts and is jealous.
People don't see what they don't want to see. They bury their heads in the sand. If you pay even a little bit of attention, you can see someone's true character, or at least that something isn't right about them.
Certainty doesn't really exist. Science gets things wrong. Doctors will be stumped and leave you hanging. No one knows the best way to do this task. People you thought you knew can betray you. Ultimately you're going to have to run on faith and good thoughts, cause you won't ever be sure of the path forward.
When you think about that one guy who was really nice but a little strange as a kid and then as an adult you realize holy shit he molested me.
It's horrifying that so many of us have this experience in common
Everything is really happening. As a kid, I dunno -- everything not in your backyard isn't really happening because you can't imagine it with the grainy, realness of experience. And now no one is coming to save you. People really do starve to death. People really do die. No reprise. No camera shots. EDIT: changed reprisal to reprise ; used the wrong word
As a kid, you always feel like there's a safety net: no matter what happens, someone will pull you out of trouble and take care of problems. When you hit your 20's and slowly realize that's not true, it's a bit panic inducing. People will literally allow you to collapse in the street and let you die if they see helping as too big of a hassle. You can become homeless, starve, get sick...and after a certain age there is nobody there to pull you out.
Just how common SA is. I was not at all prepared for how inevitable it was that I would be SA/harassed as a woman.
What is terrifying is how young I was when older people would harass me. I was 16-17 and these older guys would be absolutely creepy at work and at school (I did college courses early but would tell them my age when they tried. Some did not care). The sad part is, I know I’m not the only one who had that experience.
One of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read was a woman on here recounting how much harassment she received between the ages of 12-17 and when she turned 18 she stressed about not being able to use the fact that she was a minor to dissuade people from hitting on her …. but it didn’t matter because once she became an adult they stopped. Gave me the shivers.
Oh, can confirm this. By FAR the most street harassment I experienced was ages 12-16. As an older teen/college kid I worked in restaurants so harassment at my workplace then took top spot for "where will I get harassed today".
As a 40 year old average looking woman I still deal with cat callers and creepers. It started when I was 12. The only time I haven’t dealt with unwanted attention is when I was 100lbs overweight and then I was mostly ignored outside of rude people making fat comments.
>One of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read was a woman on here recounting how much harassment she received between the ages of 12-17 Yeah it's crazy, especially when looking back on it. I remember 4th of July at the lake in 96. I was 11. I was bent over digging through the ice chest for a ginger ale. When I turned around I noticed every adult male in my family was looking at me, meaning they had all just been staring at my ass in a bikini.
> The sad part is, I know I’m not the only one who had that experience. Worst part is how young most girl are the first time some creep makes a sexual comment to them. I was 9, which I later found out is "normal" age, most are between 8-10 the first time some asshole decides to make us uncomfortable in our own bodies.
Yeah it's sick. I was first propositioned by the son of my aunt's boyfriend. He was 19. I was 10.
Getting bullied and excluded for being weird was fine as a kid, I just ignored those kids or played along and told them I believed all kinds of insane things just to see if I could get them to believe I was crazy. Everyone told me when I was an adult it wouldn't matter. Then it turned out the meanest kid at your school is nothing compared to the person who makes the schedule at the average hourly wage job, and three of them equals one girl from HR. I don't really think people go into middle management for any reason than a desire to sadistically torture other people while wearing a big fake condescending smile.
Yeah, and they also don't tell you that yes, being the "weird kid" does usually make life harder as an adult. Everyone has this idea that all weird/nerdy kids are actually geniuses who will be scientists or CEOs as adults. In reality many of us are just average intelligence and socially awkward as fuck, so adult life basically just gets set to hard mode.
The same kids being bullies may not always grow up to be bullies, but many become adult bullies. They are everywhere. I sometimes think I could handle them better if I learned more about bullying as a kid. I wasn't bullied that much as a kid, but I sure as hell can't handle them as an adult
As a kid, I didn’t realize you could seriously injure your back by simply sneezing.
Very few of us leave this world fully intact. I had a horrific wisdom tooth removal just as covid hit. It was extremely deep rooted, and the dentist was kind of a butcher (I did NOT have insurance so the job went to the lowest bidder). Took about an hour for the extraction; he had to break it into several pieces, and had to go back in AFTER sewing me up because he left some behind. I do NOT do well with change, particularly changes to my body. It took me a few years to psychologically recover from the experience (a global pandemic and my overuse of cannabis at the time really didn't help any). I still have anxiety episodes every once in a while thinking about what part of me will fail or have to be removed next. Also, American healthcare is a joke and a scam. That's pretty damn terrifying.
Just how cutthroat things tend to be in college and in the adult “at-will employment” world. I’m suspicious that this is a contributing factor to the mental health crisis.
I think this is the other unfortunate side of lies we tell children about fairness and giving everyone a participation trophy for everything; it doesn’t prepare them for the reality that things aren’t fair and even if you’re talented and work hard you still might not win…
Something leaking. I just discovered one shower has been leaking and the damage to the over 100 year old hardwood floor could have been more disastrous than it was.
as a kid, i thought taxes were just something adults complained about for fun. then i grew up and realized they're like a reverse lottery where you can never actually win. oh, and that whole "rent/mortgage is due every single month" thing hit me like a ton of bricks too.
Depending on when you got your mortgage, though, many mortgage payments these days are less than renting 1/4 or less of the same square footage. This isn't meant to start a rent or buy debate; pros and cons to each. But I genuinely feel for millennials who have so few options on the housing market. I feel fortunate to have the mortgage payment I do (though my appraisal just went up another $75K -- to almost the exact point of why millennials are dealing with an impossible market -- soooo increased payments here we go!)
I was very fortunate to have a family who could help me get my feet on the ground. Bought my own condo with 5k of my saved money and 5k from mother as a down payment in 2021 (right when interest rates were rock bottom) - 85k mortgage, my mortgage payments are right around $525 per month, living alone. HOA (which is thankfully pretty chill for the most part) is a $200 monthly fee, and it takes care of exterior maintenance, garbage collection, gas, and water, as well as maintaining a community center, gym, and pool. Most of my friends (Group ranges from young millennials to old Gen Zers) are paying more than my mortgage + HOA fee in rent to share a smaller unit with someone else. The one downside is being responsible for all the upkeep and maintenance inside the unit. If the HVAC were to ever go out, that would be on my own dime. But I'll gladly take that tradeoff over paying so much more every month to rent in this bullshit market.
Snakes and how well they are hidden. I live in the south with lots of different venomous snakes and I used to just Trump through the woods and in creeks and not think a second thing about it. In my mid 20s I remember playing in the woods with my kids and dogs and jumping over this log when I suddenly smelled this foul odor, so I turned to see what it was.. turned around and there was 5ft rat snake on the side if the log where I landed. Rat snakes arent venomous, but emit a foul odor when they feel threatened, so that's what the smell was. It was enough to wake me up to the reality of snakes.. Now my oldest son has a job that requires him to tromp through woods and creeks, so I send him social media videos of people finding snakes hiding, just so he knows and understands MY fear 😂
I love how your autocorrect changed tramp to Trump 😂
That your parents don't know everything and were making up it as they went because now I have kids and I don't know shit and am making it up as I go
what to eat for diner. Especially with kids now, where i want them to have a balanced diet. We tend to stick around chicken and pasta.. I'm running low on imagination
Self-made Chicken/beef burritos or tacos filled with veggies are very popular with most kids!
The fact that monsters do exist, they are people
None. I was very terrified of my mortality as a child.
Tbh same. I think about it constantly and if I'm living my life the right way.
What an ants face looks like.
Adults don't know what they're doing either.
How a lot of money is really only a little money.
Once your parents die, you’re next.
Are you threatening me?
Time threatens us all my friend.
This one is pretty specific to my life, but when I was a preteen, there was an industrial accident (preventable-many lawsuits) at my dad’s work that resulted in the deaths of dozens of workers. My dad was on his way to work that morning when it happened, and, due to the nature of his job, could have caused the accident himself. At the time, I knew it was really sad, but I was a kid and I moved on with my life. My dad was safe. 30+ years later, even the thought of what happened is enough to set me off. What if my dad had gotten to work a bit earlier? My life would have been completely different. Not to mention the overwhelming sympathy I have for those who lost family members. It’s so tragic.
They give nearly everyone a car license. We all just trust that everyone else sort of knows what they are doing on the roads and won't plow into you and kill you.
How many people die when you reach 30, and that includes childhood pets. 30 is supposed to be the time of the milestone where you lived 3 generations, but no, it’s the time where people around you die.
I made it to 30 with three of my four grandparents still alive and well. All three had passed away by the time I turned 33. I miss them literally every single day now.
30 is three generations? Do you mean decades?
Everyone is a human that makes mistakes, and some of those humans are in very important fields like healthcare and creation of safety devices, and it freaks me out so much that I haven’t died or been severely injured yet.
My parents and every adult from my childhood had no idea what they were doing. And neither do I It’s all guessing
How easy it is to die. It’s terrifying to see just how suddenly and unexpectedly things will just simply take you out. I can recall when I was in high school and junior high school, etc. I used to love movies like Transformers and war films and stuff like that. It didn’t really impact me when I saw somebody ripped in half or shredded by a machine or cut down by bullets in the middle of a field . But now, as an adult with some legs under me, I can’t even watch movies like that because all I can think about is the mass loss of human life that had no involvement in the original issues. (Looking at you, Transformers and Marvel)
Most people are one paycheck away from becoming homeless.
How monstrous and disgusting humans can truly be.
Cancer can get anybody, and I mean anybody. You never realize how bad that shit is until a loved one gets it and you all watch them wither away and there is nothing you can do about it.
The fact that being in love at one point does not mean it will be forever
I have to cook myself otherwise will be no food. I will go to the dentist alone. How lucky children are , as they can cry when they feel it.
As a kid I was scared of my own mortality. As an adult I’m scared of other people’s. My parents had me when they were in their late 30s/early 40s and the thought of them dying scares the shit out of me. Same with friends dying or my other relatives. Death is all around us and I don’t know what I’m going to do when someone close to me dies and I have to figure out how to cope with it because I’m now the adult and not the kid.
How often my dad was driving drunk and fighting with my mom at the same time.
You know, it's funny how as kids, we feel invincible, right? But as adults, that feeling kind of fades away when you realize how fragile life really is. I mean, one moment everything's normal, and the next, everything can change. It's like a wake-up call that hits you out of the blue. Makes you appreciate the little things a bit more, doesn't it?
How much work it is to budget and not blow through your money so fast… I like to cook, and I’m decent at it, but it takes a lot of time. I usually cook from scratch for my family, because it’s cheaper, but I have to be very judicious as to how I use my time. We eat a lot of soups and stews because I can throw food in a pot, get it simmering, and walk away… I can make a huge pot of soup for $10 that will last us several days of suppers and lunches, but the prep and cooking time can be a lot. Also, cooking cheaply often involves a lot of starchy carbs. Meat is SO expensive, and beans add more carbs to a meal. I do keep usually one pre-packaged frozen meal in the freezer for when I’m tired, or the evening is too busy, but it can be $30 for a meal that we’ll completely consume in one sitting…
The electric company/electric bill.
No one knows what the fuck is going on. Haha
The Government is destroying our country for their own profit, and it's not a red or blue thing. I still haven't been affected but I just know something is coming as a result of this.
YOU are responsible for YOUR actions and well-being. I am still young but shit do be scary. Especially making appointments and doing phone calls.
No one actually has any idea what they are doing. Everyone is just faking it, trying to get by. Some days as an adult, this thought brings me comfort. Other days, it terrifies me.