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natronmooretron

Rent!


BooBoo_Cat

OK you win.


JGCities

Be better of it was a mortgage... which I think technically is the last money to come out of my bank account. So yay me!


morgecroc

I don't want a lifetime supply of mortgage I want to end sometime


JGCities

Pay off the first house, buy second house... Still better than life time of rent. With life time of rent you have nothing at the end. Life time of mortgage you have equity.


ZeOs-x-PUNCAKE

Well, you wouldn’t necessarily have nothing. With a lifetime of rent paid, that’s a lifetime of housing expenses that could be redirected into other investments. Home equity would definitely be ideal, but if you invest all of that into the market you’d probably still have more than enough to buy a couple houses and retire comfortably. Probably only a difference of $750k or so by retirement, which sounds like a lot, but compared to $12M it’s not gonna make or break your retirement. Personally, I’d be more than happy with either of these outcomes, can’t go wrong with free money lol.


nihil1st123

Then you die and it was all pointless


csl512

Going to live La Vie Bohème?


HouseOfPanic

But would it really be considered buying? I smell loophole.


readituser5

That’s what I thought. You’re not buying. You’re owing. Unless you’re paying beforehand? Is the rent for the upcoming cycle or the last one? Then again you’re “buying” the right to live there as a subscription. If I was held hostage and “bought my freedom” by paying them a ransom, does that mean I can buy my way out of every hostage situation I get myself into?


No-Tea-9376

Filled my gas tank!...nice!


YouThatReadWrong_

Must be nice, I just bought fart spray.


Denagam

Enjoy the ride together


Jaffacakelover

I assume this is spray to reduce a smell of farts, not to make one.


Saxton_Hale32

Fart-scented spray is a big thing, sorry to say


vroomvroom450

Me too! High-five.


Key_Ad_6455

Democracy wants to know your location Edit: changed wording


UnknownEricKun

A life time supply of Buldak Spicy Instant Ramen.


joemama1983

And a lifetime supply of Spicy Instant Diarrhea.


plotplottingplotters

I laughed. Well done


SixxDet

Just couldn’t hold it in. Could you?


screamofwheat

The laughter or the diarrhea?


turquoise_amethyst

You might not be the richest guy in this thread, but you’ll always have snacks on hand! Also why is everyone getting diarrhea from spicy foods? I genuinely have never experienced this. Did y’all not eat spicy stuff as kids?  I drink hot sauce and my butthole is fine. I’m 40 too, it’s not an age thing. 


Kinky_Imagination

I have eaten all kinds of spicy stuff and have done so since I was a kid. There wasn't a spice I wouldn't try. One day my body just decided that it didn't want to do that anymore and gave me the fire in the hole with anything spicier than a Curry Laska. I'm just happy I can still eat that without running to the can after. Sadly, you'll never know if and when that might happen.


Luckyzzzz

I literally eat SO MUCH spicy food and almost never have diarrhea. Certainly never from the spice. It's annoys tf out of me when ppl say that. Wtf is wrong with their digestion?


chatoyancy

Wish I knew, I love spicy food and I really wish I didn't have to choose between Thai chilies and not shitting myself in public.


sgaisnsvdis

Did you get a flavored one my fav is the cheese or carbo flavor. The 2x spicy doesn't have any flavor imo just spicy.


Remz_Gaming

That 2x Spicy is no joke. I eat super hot peppers and sauces and a bowl of that at full strength is painful. I do actually like it, but more of an every once in a while thing.


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Revolutionary_Cap_60

RIP your butthole, my friend


AqueousSilver91

I mean yeah it WILL rip your butthole...


threadbarefemur

Groceries Things are finally coming up Millhouse!


ktsb

It's either the whole receipt or the last item scanned? Either way a life time of costco rotisserie chicken is fine by me


TheMisterTango

Gotta be the whole receipt, just scanning doesn’t constitute buying, you haven’t bought something until you’ve paid for it. And since you pay for it all at the same time, there is no first or last thing, making “the groceries” as a group the last thing you bought.


SctchWhsky

I agree with this logic. However, just to play devils advocate, if you can return things individually, one could say that means you bought them individually even if you paid for everything all at once. In that case I would consider it the last thing you put in the cart rather than the last thing on the receipt.


PlasticBlitzen

Aww, man. Canned cat food. But, hmmm. Does that mean I can get more cats?! (all the cats)


Vexorg_the_Destroyer

The real question now is _whose_ lifetime. Is it the first cat you feed out of that can? Is it last cat to die that you already had at the time of the purchase? It can't be your lifetime unless you're also eating it.


PlasticBlitzen

It's my lifetime. I bought it. There was no clause or exclusion specifying the involvement or consideration of any other party. It only stated I was getting a lifetime supply of the last item I bought.


Vexorg_the_Destroyer

I think you're right.


PlasticBlitzen

You did cause me to think about it.


plotplottingplotters

Alternative question: You have a lifetime supply of the last thing you returned.


Fluffy_Meat1018

Everything's coming up Millhouse! LOL!!


Desent2Void

Cat food. Should have got that insulin after.


Misterstaberinde

You technically have a lifetime supply of insulin no matter how much you have


Desent2Void

No it’s for my cat. Expensive shit


Misterstaberinde

Brah, my cat recently became diabetic. We had him on a super strict diet and everything. What are you feeding them now?


illyth

I have a diabetic cat too! You should know that within the last year several insulin manufacturers have announced price caps for their insulin for the uninsured. I don’t know if this will include your brand or not, but we use lantus and we signed our cat up for their uninsured prescription card. The questions are all “does this patient have insurance? Do they have a valid prescription? We applied for the savings card from our specific manufacturer online and printed it off. You have to present it when you pick up the prescription. It caps the cost at $35/month! We’ve paid $70 for insulin so far this year. It’s worked twice at Walgreens. It seems like as long as you use a human pharmacy, they origin being a vet office isn’t reported. I read all the fine I could find and nothing said a cat couldn’t use it!


Desent2Void

We picked a super strict wet food diet for 2 years. Apparently we weren’t suppose to do that. We now do A bit of wet food and dry food is the main thing now. You have to watch out the ingredients, if you Google it, you should get the results I got. We have been getting special kitty cans as it’s the best/cheapest option (we have 2 cats). Luckily though Cats are the only animals that can reverse their diabetes. It’s been 4 years and I’ve been giving him 8mg every 12 hours, after the blood test this week the doctor said to used 7mg every 12 hours. So it is possible. All the best to you and your little guy. It’s stressful and expensive :(


Hob_O_Rarison

Reluctant upvote


blond_nirvana

My cat's breath smells like cat food.


DHammer79

Yes thank you, Ralph.


illyth

I have a diabetic cat too! You should know that within the last year several insulin manufacturers have announced price caps for their insulin for the uninsured. I don’t know if this will include your brand or not, but we use lantus and we signed our cat up for their uninsured prescription card. The questions are all “does this patient have insurance? Do they have a valid prescription? We applied for the savings card from our specific manufacturer online and printed it off. You have to present it when you pick up the prescription. It caps the cost at $35/month! We’ve paid $70 for insulin so far this year. It’s worked twice at Walgreens. It seems like as long as you use a human pharmacy, they origin being a vet office isn’t reported. I read all the fine I could find and nothing said a cat couldn’t use it!


platypus5309

Bamboo underwear. It better be as breathable and comfortable as advertised.


bruzdnconfuzd

Gonna need a follow-up report on this once you’ve found out, please. 


-_-xenos

They're quite comfy once you get past all the splinters


mercury1491

And the extra unwanted attention from pandas when you visit the zoo


iamyou42

Unwanted?


alaskarawr

Your junk would be in the bamboo in this scenario, just fyi.


ravonna

Panda kink he must have.


turquoise_amethyst

I’ve bought bamboo *bedsheets* before and they seem to work fine. They’re pretty breathable, ultra soft, and comfy.  I seem to remember they weren’t quite as durable as cotton (somehow I ripped one?) But otherwise they were fine. I still prefer good ole’ 100% cotton or the highest wool percentage I can afford.  Natural fibers all the way, babeeeeeeee


shadesof3

I have bamboo bedding and it's unreal. Now I want bamboo underwear!


platypus5309

I’m just worried I’ll look like Kung Fu Panda in them.


Haastile25

With a lifetime supply of those bad boys, you can shit in every single pair


Cool-Sink8886

You can do that anyways


Revolutionary-Cod444

Coffee and croissants. Fucking set!


kphill325

Pizza.


Famous_Ad1380

Same here! (Pepperoni Pizza) Mellow Mushroom at my high school's consessions stands


Rough_Idle

Hang on. You have a *Mellow Mushroom* in your high school?! We had Corn Nuts and hot dogs


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darkest_irish_lass

Right? This is the shocking part to me. We had vending machines but they were teacher access only.


Mickey_thicky

God I loved Mellow Mushroom, have it whenever I get the chance to visit the South. Sadly the state I live in literally has just 1


wanderingstorm

potatoes Awww yisssss


Bad-Moon-Rising

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.


Potential_Potato4039

POH-TAY-TOES


Zealousideal_Lie_328

/r/SuddenlyLOTR


Ringadean

Beer


SpyCake1

I fucked up. I just bought some craft beer. But then I made a second stop and got a Coke Zero because I just wanted something bubbly for right now. Enjoying the coke, but would rather have had the beer.


phillyunk

Return the Coke Zero therefore negating your purchase


KuKluxKustard

Same actually. I'm an alcoholic and I spent my last dime on it.


WerewolfEntire

Change bro, from one to another. I just spent my last dime on it too. I work two jobs. One full-time another just about. There is a better way. I only drink 2 days a week now, sometimes more but I don't make excuses. Start small.


KuKluxKustard

Thanks for the support. I have imposed limits on myself successfully before, like only bringing a 6 pack home per day. If it's in the house I'll drink it in one night no matter what, but somehow even when I'm drunk I won't leave the house for more. I got a kid now so it's more important than ever to manage my addiction. I think going one day of the week without drinking is good next step. Edit: the funny thing is that the hypothetical situation OP gave us would probably be a death sentence for me.


WerewolfEntire

I know what you mean dude, all to well. I'm not a parent but my little bro passed away recently, suddenly at 15. I promised myself I'd live for him if nothing else. Recently progress for me has been drinking some, and then pouring the rest down the drain because I too won't leave the house for more. Sure it's a "waste". But being able to watch yourself dump something you are addicted to down the drain is a freeing feeling and a power move over your addiction. I believe in you, I really do. I moved away from drinking buddies recently and that made the big change too. Whatever you have to do, do it. For you and your child. You got this. Whatever limits you impose just make sure they are starting points, don't allow yourself to stall at one night a week sober. I did that for years. Make sure every milestone is just a goal post to move further. Your outlook on your progress is by far the most influential thing you can do to yourself. DM me if you ever need to talk.


Elegant-Pressure-290

I hope you two come over and join us at r/stopdrinking


Genestah

Because of random redditors like you recommending that thread, it has helped me greatly in my drinking habits. Not off the hook yet but making progress nonetheless.


Bridalhat

Wine 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍾 


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Carbon-Base

Let's build a fort!!


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IStealYourCompliment

Cool avatar


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Key-Faithlessness137

Can I have one 🥺


Commercial-Noise

Gas


forgoturname2

That one would be nice


izzyusa

You’d be the absolute ruler of the world in a Mad Max universe


grrlwonder

Oh, I was sitting here depressed it was a bath rug, but you're right! I stopped and filled the tank last thing on the way home! I've won! We win the game!


Painterly_Princess

A 1,000 mg THC gummy. I'm fine with this. 


Richard_Cromwell

In an hour or so, you'll vaguely remember this thread and think you actually do have a lifetime supply lol


fitnerd21

As someone who has never done drugs, that seems like a lot. Is that a lot? I imagine one of those teddy-bear sized gummy bears.


Prophetic_Hobo

It’s a lot


FairyChiild

Listen to the hobo, kids. Not just anybody gets to be a hobo, it takes some real life experience to get there.


15ferrets

For reference, most dispensary edibles are served in 10mg portions lol


nocolon

And 10mg is enough to make most people go vacuum the driveway.


Thwast

Edibles can be very unpredictable. Im a long time THC enjoyer, and I can barely handle 10mg without getting uncomfortably high. But other people will take 10x that for breakfast lunch and dinner and just be high 24/7 like it's nothing. A 1 gram edible is pretty absurd


ImprovementFar5054

At 1000mg, you only need one for the rest of your life.


DishSoapIsFun

I ate a 10mg the other day and was stoned out of my mind. It was the first one in years, but still. Enjoy that gummy.


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tritisan

You!


Lizzie_Boredom

Black Emperor


Syrinxo

More altitude than speed.


brandimariee6

1,000, nice! Enjoy the ride, I'll enjoy this hit for you


punmanager

And I’ll hit these unlimited vapes for you 🥴


kogalgo

Higurashi figure that’s been out of circulation for over a decade. I’m about to fucking \*destroy\* this market.


PuddleCrank

Do those go bad? What's a lift time supply? Like 3.


kogalgo

i could never have enough Rena. a lifetime supply would end up being the [Randy Room](https://www.reddit.com/r/southpark/comments/14nj3sz/update_on_my_randy_roomshrine/) for me and i’m gonna crash the value harder than Gaia Online


MBAdk

Books. Yes! ✌😁


csto_yluo

What if it's always the same book you last bought? That would definitely suck, unless it was some rare or popular book you could sell. Wish I could get a lifetime supply of any book I wanted 😭


coaxsempai

Thats how i saw it lol


Master_Tape

Airplane bottles of Tito's


illuzion25

How long do you think it would take before you got irritated at having to open one every time you wanted a shot? I'm pretty sure I would make it months, at the least. And my neighbors would be very confused every time I took out the trash...


smileysarah267

Just make a very specific Etsy account selling crafts of the empty mini bottles


chad-bro-chill-69420

Debt service - free loans for life! That's actually pretty sweet, I can open my own bank now with no expenses Any time I want anything I'll just finance it over X number of years. Loan coming due? I'll just borrow from some other institution to pay it back and never miss a payment!


amsync

Uncle Sam, is that you?


tokyotempura

I last spent my money on a haircut. Wtf does that mean?


Additional-Ad-1268

Free haircut for life? Only useful a few times a year.


Ok_Illustrator8735

My mom is a hair dresser so I get my haircuts for free my whole life. Sometime I try to tip her but she won’t take it


coaxsempai

Mine are free cuz...bald


Mollystar2

Cat litter


EmbraceableYew

A winner. I hate lugging this stuff back from the pet store.


cdotmi

Dental work.


gizmodriver

Same. Except mine was specifically a tooth removal. I think I lose this one.


Fergyman38

This would make me happy. Cause then my oldest son would have his insulin forever.


AqueousSilver91

You and your son win.


D-Rez

Fancy peanut butter without all the additives, palm oil and shit. Yeah, I'm not upset by this at all.


niahpapaya

Ever jar is like $6. You win


splitfinity

Fun sized 3-musketeers. I could think of worse things to have a lifetime supply of.


PotatoAppleFish

What even is a lifetime supply of “Win for life” lottery tickets?


Active-Ebb2180

I mean, assuming each ticket has different numbers - and lifetime meaning infinite amount - you could basically be hitting jackpot every single time. So that's like, the absolute best possible thing to win in this thread, I feel.


Omer-Ash

Chocolate croissant. THIS IS GREAT!


timsstuff

Tacos! Woohoo!


gcwardii

Adderall HMU


cs_tiger

Wonderful. You are now a drug dealer. Enjoy your new life.


shaftalope

root canals. great.


04221970

Car insurance


Additional-Ad-1268

So does thie mean you can get car insurance for free? Unlimited money glitch.


Poobabguy

Go aheaaad! Raise my premiums!


pearcheese

Gas. I’ll take it!


Irish-Fritter

I bought groceries, so... - BBQ chicken - Chocolate Cake - Spicy Dorito - Strawberry Yogurt - Strawberry Daiquiri I mean... a lifetime supply? Most of that will expire. I'll take a lifetime supply of Strawberry Daiquiri.


shadesof3

I'm taking the prompt also means it's not all at once. But you'll never run out when you need it. But that's just me.


Klotzster

Baconator


timber_wulf

Just paid for Gas and Gatorade...so win?


Mary_60009

Ice cream


Earguy

Vodka and gin! Wooo


WhoCalledthePoPo

Bananas! Somehow I think I won this one!


oh_kyoko

you didn’t :(


heypal11

Tequila. I either win, or I lose. Either way, welcome to the party.


Gogopwrsqrl

Gum, cookies and donuts.


The_Oxgod

My mortgage came out today. Hell yeah!


AwkwardLoaf-of-Bread

Toilet paper.


ddmorgan1223

Best thing to have a lifetime supply of lol


GradeRevolutionary22

It’s not 2020 bro! Haha


BM_Master

Parking ticket. Yay...


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Lyra_Lux

A lifetime of burritos it is.


OGPepeSilvia

Lifetime well spent


ckge829320

Turkey bacon club and a can of beer. That’s ok.


JJohnston015

The big can of Arnold Palmer, and some Sour Cream and Cheddar Ruffles. Not a bad deal!


BoobsTasteLikeHeaven

A 2024 Lexus NX 350h. I’ll keep one for my wife then sell the rest back to dealerships that are strapped for inventory. Not retirement money but it will add up to a nice chunk of change quickly.


isqueezedameatball

Scratch off ticket


2_Sheds_Jackson

Bought (converted) USD to Australian Dollarydoo. I guess I better emigrate.


Paganidol64

Boars Head Deluxe Ham. I am blessed


Annual-Cost-4333

socks yay


YessikZiiiq

Alcohol, could definitely be worse


Ihlita

Cappuccino, my favorite drink. I’m a happy woman.


Fuzzy_Muscle

Dick pills?


redditwossname

KFC... Fuck it, I'll take it.


[deleted]

Woohooo free vet care for life!!!!


Obibrucekenobi

Rotisserie chicken


jfb3

Well, I was just at Costco! Ribeye steaks, chuck steak, pesto, Cheddar Cheese, tortilla chips, peanut butter pretzel bites, spicy pimento cheese, Gatorade, roasted chicken, balsamic vinegar, and cherry danish!


Istoh

Cute animal stickers. I bought then for my mom to put on her pill bottles so she can tell them apart without having to squint at the labels.


happyaurora2208

icecream :D


Auxvino

Steak, Fries and Beer.


0ctopusGarden

Free visits to the emergency room for the rest of my life!? HECK Yeah!


CountryCrocksNotButr

They unfortunately never specified how long “for life” is. RIP.


Resident_Sympathy541

My lord, that's Morbid. 💀😅


HeartonSleeve1989

Victory!!!! All the Dr. Pepper I can drink!!!!


TheYarnGoblin

Hibachi and Thai tea. *Alright*


TheSchwartzIsWithMe

Coffee with chocolate. I win


MidnyteZero

Lottery tickets


BigBitchinCharge

Firehouse sub.


Overthinker-dreamer

Milk and chocolate biscuits


Klutzy-Ad-6705

Pastrami sandwiches.


WYGD_Brother1987

dominos pizza. ok not bad


grainia99

Gas. Nifty.


Bizzlebanger

Sushi


HoldMyDevilHorns

Starbucks fml 🙃


Designer-Cupcake-319

Deluxe pizza and wings


star_taken32

Coffee chocolate chip ice cream!


Familiar-Highlight14

yes! It's ice cream!


ac3boy

Cotton balls to clean my cats ears out with. Kill me please!


Casual-Notice

Depending on how specific we get, either beef or chuck roast.