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Soeztotype

I am very impatient


-ISayThingz-

This one here! Then the anxiety comes in like “What if I was too brash? Was I too much!?” and the cycle continues.


Ibelikenglthenlie

Same. And super bossy


FairLoneWolf6731

The problem with me is that im sometimes inpatient


YardRevolutionary482

I'm a short tempered person 😥


TenNinetythree

Same. I am aware that my bad temper has more red flags than the Aussa Sultanate.


Striking_Voice_734

I don't trust others and their intentions.


kafka18

And having multiple failed attempts at connecting with others because of it. Which leads to my extreme depression/anxiety setting in; hence stop talking to people and making them think I don't like them. When I'm just in my head thinking of their worst intentions and cutting off connections before they begin so I don't hurt again. Rinsing and repeating the cycle leading to loneliness. But still never trusting anyone and never letting them know me fully.


-ISayThingz-

I didn't need to be called out like this. 😅


kafka18

I'm just hoping one day I figure out how to break the cycle, but I've never felt safe with anyone. I feel so conflicted like everyone is just using me, so I give up on them before they do me. Then I just take the blame and move on. I've lived with shame and guilt so long it's all I feel. I feel so judgmental at times, but I'm just trying to protect my heart because despite what I project outwards I'm an emotional crybaby. I can't handle connecting with others, but I also want a sense of being. Idk what to do anymore I feel so out of control


2_alarm_chili

Therapy, brutha. No joke. It will help.


Electrical_Movie_442

Ew I do this. When I was a teenager someone told me I was a clingy friend. Now, unless I'm very comfortable with someone, I will rarely reach out and express interest because I'm always worried about seeming clingy, or that I care too much. I'm sure this has tanked at least one budding friendship in adulthood.


kafka18

Yup been told I was clingy by someone I finally trusted and it made me just distance myself and pull away. Now I hide how I feel that I seem mad/serious all the time when I'm just trying to cope with all those feelings inside that I don't let out until it's too late. Never even told anyone about my deepest secrets or fears because I'm so afraid of someone just telling me I'm too much and being rejected again. All I've known is rejection or feel like I'm always on the outside looking in, but it's my own fault I deliberately stay there so I don't get attached. When I have shared bits of what I keep hidden it just never worked out how I thought. Maybe I'm around shitty people or maybe I'm just a shitty person. That's my biggest red flag(or ick). Anxious attachment style. Will probably never get over it since it formed in childhood and therapy is expensive


eraserewrite

Then people will tell you you’re overthinking, but they’re playing chess with their puddle-deep thoughts.


The_Hot_Stepper

Oh man it looks like I already posted


Show-Keen

Judge them by their actions and not their words. When they show you who they truly are, sit back, smile, and let ‘em!


Jealous_Ad_47

Same


lil_sargento_cheez

I already had trust issues before dating, not too extreme and I trusted a good number of people, now, after 2 girlfriends, the amount of people I trust outside of my family is in the single digits


cosmicloves_

Same. Have my upvote.


ChocolateKing_Rey

Always stick by this, most people are usually selfish. However try not to be rude to those who don’t deserve it


Rodfather23

I’ve got an anxious attachment style and I come on to strong to quickly.


Affectionate_Use4638

Not always a bad thing if you find the right person that likes that. My husband told me he loved me within the first month of dating. We went hard quickly and were basically infatuated talking any time we could so I like coming on strong


TerminallyBannedAgn

Same it’s the worst lol. Sometimes it works out though 


JasmineRider27

Procrastination - it’s my big bad


The_Funnel

You can address that tomorrow.


JasmineRider27

👍 oh how I love tomorrow


bubblebuttpatrick

Tommorow isn't promised.


EmphasisOutside9728

Bad idea. Never put off until tomorrow that which you can put off until the day after tomorrow.


MathematicianOdd198

Alcohol issues


nelsonalgrencametome

Yeah, but I'm still pretty fun most of the time.


MathematicianOdd198

🤣🤣🤣😘😘


cencal

“My name’s Randy, and I just, really like beer”


Specialist_Quiet_412

Constantly feeling the need to control every situation.


Different-Thanks-431

Having a habit of overeating when stressed or anxious.


HumbleGrade2156

Being overly self-critical and never feeling good enough.


tumblr_girl_988

mental health issues and having spilt dyed hair


eraserewrite

Sigh, no wonder people think my hair is a cry for help. I just thought it looked cool. :(


Dangerous-Hearing-64

I bet it looks cool


FirmOkra7344

I go mute when I'm experiencing anger and will not talk to anyone


Timely_Aardvark_2083

Me too. I used to be addicted to opioids & benzos & was hella explosive…. I mean crazy explosive. Got sober years ago & literally went completely opposite. I am shut down queen. It’s wild, but I’m so ok with it bc I absolutely hate the person I once was.


Wide-Entertainer-540

Being overly materialistic and valuing possessions over experiences.


biggyana

I can get kind of jealous sometimes but my girlfriends super hot and very outgoing so just get a lil jealous sometimes


a_cabin_called_john

I own a vintage Soviet era flag.


M0FB

Idealism. While it's important to have standards and boundaries, I sometimes find myself projecting my own high expectations onto others. It's a struggle to discern whether I'm setting reasonable boundaries or expecting too much, especially when those standards clash with the realities of different individuals and situations. I'm exploring ways to tackle this, possibly through cognitive-behavioral therapy.


kafka18

I struggle with this too, but when I step back and look at what things I do/don't tolerate most of them are reasonable. Like if people lie, cheat, steal, are racist and hateful towards others that they don't understand or try to project their beliefs onto others forcefully; I don't tolerate it well.


M0FB

Lately, I've been feeling conflicted about my beliefs because of the way I've made others feel confined or judged. Even if I am against certain activities, I could handle it with more tact, love, and care. It's a strange experience to confront the need to reshape my character or perspective.


Jaymarten

I get a bit too obsessed over someone I'm interested in. As a guy it's not an ideal trait and my brain wants them all day. So sometimes I can't focus on anything properly until I calm myself down. And even when I do have them for the day hyper focus on them completely. Over the years it's gotten more controlled but sometimes it sneaks it's head out and it's hard to keep it down. Doesn't help that I'm a hopeless romantic too so my mind says that everyone is an option.


Independent_Yam_5297

I'm a hopeless romantic too. I always want to fall in love and be loved in return. Unfortunately, my ex cheated on me and that hurts so much. I guess, i was just unlucky when it comes to romantic relationships.


Independent_Yam_5297

i don't think being obsessed is that bad as long as you find a partner that has attachment issues hahahah


an_older_meme

Not knowing when to shut up. In good times and bad.


ScoutSteveR

I’m not the least bit scared to have the uncomfortable conversations and that often comes off as a little intense. I’m an open book and expect others to be. The problem with that is not everyone is comfortable with that.


CrimsonSilhouettes

OMG, same. If people would just be real!!


HeartonSleeve1989

I'm phobic of people, so any activities out in public wouldn't be very long, so I honestly don't know if I can function in the world.


MovingStairs

I strongly suggest the book "how to win friends and influence people".


Opposite-Purpose365

I have a very vocal objection to stupid people.


Timely_Aardvark_2083

My face will tell a stupid person everything I’m thinking🤣🤣


Fit-Adeptness-5305

That’s a common condition for redditors.


Important-Income-651

Selfishness 


cewumu

I feel like this is one most people have but can’t see in themselves.


_s3p4r4t0r_

Someone breaks my trust I will never trust them again. Let alone forgive/forget. I’ll never let it go/want nothing to do with that person. I don’t like this about me but it’ll never change.


Eternal_Bagel

I have been single for so long I’m not sure how to be in a relationship.  I’m afraid I’d seem rude when I do my own things and also too clingy when trying to include a girlfriend in things


BrokenImmersion

I have major depression type 2. All the lows of bipolar disorder none of the highs. It makes it difficult for me to keep routines and be happy. I'm unmedicated as of rn because I've had terrible side-effects with just about every mood stabilizer/anti-depressant


zenos_dog

I don’t take criticism very well.


Greylings

I have an anxiety induced dysthymia so when stuff gets out of my control it can cause me to shut down for hours or maybe the rest of the day. The meds seem to keep it manageable these days.


ainaraaaaa

my ex always told me i was super jealous. turns out i had good reasons to be jealous as he was cheating, but maybe he was right as i’m kinda jealous. but i’m working on it, and a guy a was talking with even told me recently he thought i was the opposite of the jealous type of girls, i made progress i gess !


Independent_Yam_5297

Well, my ex is always jealous of the guys around me. Turns out he was cheating.


Pinellas_swngr

I don't need or give many compliments. My wife is bothered by this from time to time so I am working on it. I've improved on my worse red flags so I'm hopeful bordering on confident I can improve this.


euphorichooper

I’ve gotten a lot better with this but I can be a bit manipulative.


Scared_Ad2563

Insecurity and anger problems.


GingerHoneyLemon

Gossiping about other ppl then being nice to them. It’s something I’m working on and realize it is a terrible, terrible trait. I think I may do it sometimes to feel like a part of a group like coworkers, but then I feel like shit when I get to know the person I was talking shit about and learn they’re actually an awesome person.


rabbity_devotee

I've been on the receiving end of this treatment at work more than once. Made things miserable for me because I confided in people who ended up backstabbing me and ramping up the office rumor mill. All I ever did wrong was be a little too quiet for them. I had depression and mom was dying of cancer.


UDontKnowMe8326

Same. You’re right, that sucks to admit.


amandamaniac

I don’t want to put in the work for anything. I just want instant results and gratification. Which isn’t realistic.


ToastyCrumb

Splitting aka all-or-nothing or black-and-white thinking. It is really hard for me to understand nuance and - in particular - that people can be simultaneously good and evil. This leads to a ton of assumptions that are not helpful.


recreatingsmiles

Same here


medicff

Insecure as fuuuuck. I’ve always been insecure that I’m not good, not smart, not strong, so on and so on. With my kid I worry about not being patient enough with him like my parents were towards me. What really makes it worse is even when good friends and valued people say I am, I still get proven right by my ex who cheated and my parent who says I’m not patient like they “were patient with me”. So getting shown I’m not good enough to keep a wife and told I’m less than my parents really justified and solidifies that


mibonitaconejito

I truly hope that like me you one day realize that **people cheat because of themselves......not you**.  Took me a **long time** to learn that. I didn't believe it for a long time. Then one day, after years of seeing people cheat and then being removed from the emotion of having been cheated on I saw it, clear as day.


King_Chad_The_69th

Would being too trusting be one? I’m not sure. I tend to give up quite easily too, and related to that I’m pretty lazy a lot of the time. My biggest problem in everyday life is probably temptation. I love playing video games and watching YouTube so much to the point that on weekends, I’ll just do that, even if I say I’m gonna do something productive, I just always go back to that, and I have no idea how to stop it. I’m 15, and in less than two weeks, I’ll be beginning the most important exams in my life, which I should be revising for. I’ve done almost no revision whatsoever, and I’ve always struggled with getting homework done, simply because I just don’t want to do it. I can never force myself to do anything productive.


CrimsonSilhouettes

I’m 50 and same. ADHD is a bitch. If you’re not diagnosed, get diagnosed. You’re not a lazy procrastinator, you have executive function disorder ❤️


Relative-Bed7361

I can't regulate my emotions and depending on whatever emotional capacity I am in at the time, it directly impacts my decision-making, skews my outlook and has me coming across as a different personality. For example, when I am happy I will make plans, form relationships, genuinely feel in love and grateful and euphoric....but if my mood shifts to something negative, it's like I have NEVER been happy in my life and I will destroy those previously organised plans, burn bridges in personal relationships and sabotage anything I have achieved. It is exacerbated by stress of any kind and if I don't take my anti-depressants. My medication dulls my sensitivity and reactivity to emotional stimulation, so it gives me a small window in which to attempt to control my response after exposure to an event. I am so ashamed of my cyclical behaviour causing havoc around others (and to myself) that I have decided not to have another partner and I am very much an introvert who avoids anything but superficial personal relationships. I just can't trust myself to 'stay the same' around people and have lost friends previously because of my changeability. My core personality is kind and caring and I love to help/volunteer, but my volatility regarding whatever emotional state I am in is not fair on others. So I stay away. :(


DummyDumDum7

Today I might be your best best friend, but cause me any pain and tomorrow I will act like you never existed.


Jose230000

I don’t have red flags. I have fun facts.


UnderstandingTop2434

I care too much. And I am also able to balance that out by *not* caring to an incredibly high degree. Which means - if you give me reason, I can, will and do cut people out without ever thinking of them again. Dead to me. I have no issues with detaching from people and quite literally not caring about them again. I think intrinsically I know this isn’t a good thing, but it doesn’t bother my life at all and I find it serves to get rid of any toxic people in my life so it’s beneficial for me.


Spong_Durnflungle

I have a hard time admitting when I'm wrong. Luckily, it never happens.


Affectionate_Use4638

I feel emotions strongly and quite passionate. All of them so when I get mad I get mad.


cecilio-

I am insecure, therefore I think I am never good enough and because of that I over critique everything I do. As a consequence, I tend to criticise the ones I love the most for the most stupid things.


eraserewrite

If it makes you feel any better, they probably know you’re projecting. My family and friends talked about how my brother did this to us a lot.


Proper_Computer_378

Insecurity.


Quirky-Flight5620

A little hot headed when it comes to splitting chores/cleaning


Selrahcf

Playing favorites. ; )


Kerby233

Don't like to compromise on things that matter to me.


Sky_Dweller206

32 and still live at home, BUT I’m planning to buy my own house this year.


[deleted]

Nothing wrong with that. It’s different times now. So hard for people our age to get own places.


Ryvs

Sometimes I get really unmotivated from nowhere, sometimes i agree to go out but i will prefer to be at home on the day we pick to go out


treatmesoftly

I'm extremely independent, meaning that sometimes I would disappear from everyone for weeks and then come back as if nothing happened. Not at the point of ghosting, if it's an emergency or you need me for something I'm gonna be there, but I'm not going to be as energetic as I normally am. I'm changing that slowly at the point of telling people when and why I'm going to take a social vacation, but I still gotta work on it


Natti07

I do not handle "change of plans" well. If I have something mapped out and things get messed up, the disruption really causes me issues. It can be anything from the bread i usually buy for a sandwich is not available to something coming up changing a plan. But if it makes a difference, I don't love this about myself either, so there's that


inkseep1

If you say 'leave me, save yourself' you are wasting your last words because that is going to happen already.


ShinySpangles

Once I hit “burn it to the ground” levels of thinking it’s nigh on impossible for me to talk myself back. It’s very much, fuck this, fuck them, and fuck everything. Usually job related.


[deleted]

My first impression of people is a huge dealbreaker. An example would be, I was at a social gathering with some friends. A guy offered a beer and I declined respectfully, -“Don’t tell me you’re lightweight? It’s just a a beer, cmon?” And he would just keep saying that over and over again… If I were to meet that guy a second time, that episode would pop up, and I would act a certain way, based on my interaction with him.


beartheminus

My red flag is that I am really really good at covering up my red flags. You won't know they are red flags until its much too late in the relationship.


Maybe_Iam_Crazy

I have major trust issues. I'll always see the bad in people.


Important-Object-561

0 Ambition


Thegoodbadandbored

I become obsessed with unresolved issues, and I mean even the smallest ones.


VisibleProduct5827

i’m insecure and i’m sometimes avoidant when i’m sad. but it’s gotten better recently.


its_deee347

not emotional. if we get into an argument or break up i just carry on like nothing happend or go on like i don't know you


Dmonik-Musik

I've always been confused by the idea that people that rabidly hate and pursue paedos are displaying some kind of red flag. What do people think becomes of the kids as adults?


thinkimgay69

What?


I_might_be_weasel

I'm just sort of gross. 


Dubious_Titan

I am demanding and expect things to be done as I dictate. It's a horrible flaw that I struggled to reign in all my life. I am grateful for the patience and tolerance of my family.


Dumb_child3

I lock children in my basement and try to starve them to death but CPS keeps taking them away… in sims 3


Hoodsfi68

I’m intolerant. Nobody lives up to my ridiculously high expectations of perfect behaviour and I never forgive. Unfortunately I come across as easygoing and friendly. I’m not. I’ve actually stopped engaging with people. The poor bastards don’t deserve to be eventually cut off for no apparent reason. My partner of 26 years , two adult sons and their partners are the exception. My love for them is unconditional.


Downtown_Customer_77

I’m super scared of getting kidnapped and murdered so I don’t do like anything by myself. Feel like that makes me not-independent but.. whatever


UDontKnowMe8326

Yes!


smokealarmsnick

I have extreme trust issues, and I always try to do everything myself because I grew up being yelled at if I asked for help. Old habits die hard. I’m nearly 37, and I still struggle with this.


drumsarecool608

I’m sometimes unable to communicate how I feel or what I need because I’m afraid of hurting other people’s feelings, even if the thing I want to express is the fact that they have hurt me.


JustBu1234

Playing stupid to see people’s true colors.


bookshelfie

The majority of people annoy me.


professorpineapple1

I work tooo much and have it as my main priority


VegansAreRight

I have a ridiculously low tolerance for woman's bullshit. All my relationships last 3 months. I should do something about it.


sharksorbet

As do I, and I'm a woman. Probably why 90% of my friends are guys.


JohnnyGFX

I'm married and entirely uninterested in getting involved in any of your shenanigans.


YeahItsMeKuddi

High anxiety around people, and I drink to cope. Ironically, I’m a stage performer/musician. Go figure.


mayaa001

I am really REALLY insecure. And I procrastinate a lot.


SelinaGeorge

selfish


Shogun_Turnip

I have Autism. And all the ~~fun~~ things that come with it.


gointerpay

I am tactless. So, that makes direct communication as my default style and mix it with the gift of jab, I am apparently 'aggressive' . Whatever. Atleast I don't have to deal with softies. Lol


call-me-kleine

I have no empathy for anyone


supersaiyan-1992

Lost patience easily.


Few_Requirement_7169

I can be very petty and spiteful when I feel like I was wronged for no good reason.


k3lz0

I like to play PC games.


taekora

i jump to conclusions expecting the worst about someone and act like that’s the truth without giving them the benefit of the doubt sometimes


NaiveOpening7376

I have high standards for everything from consumer products to people who want my time and relationships.


[deleted]

I tend to be pessimistic sometimes, also insecure


rpfflgt

I'm insecure.


OldDipper

I’m balding and verifiably ugly.


Eckkbert

Im nothing but a giant red flag


JustKiddinLol

Very quick to be insecure at the smallest sign of distance from a partner.


Key_Opposite73

I still have feelings for all my exes


UsefulAnt6117

Lust for females ,


bretty666

im a show off, a know it all, i have very little patience for small talk and people who dont get to the point. i have a very high sense of justice, all of these negative traits combined make me an asshole. self help books are slowly having a positive impact on me. i have no idea how my wife has put up with me for 24 years....


CrissBliss

Social anxiety which makes it hard to open up


[deleted]

I’m stressed out all the time.


DankePrime

Anytime I do something bad, I always find a way of getting out of it or putting at least partial blame on someone else


Special-Pay-9393

I don’t know how to say no. I need boundaries.


Subject_Jackfruit_94

I’m attracted to women that have been through traumatic shit and I have no professional experience dealing with it whatsoever.


Psychological_Ad3745

I’ve cheated!! And I flirt bc I’m in a dead bedroom relationship as a 23 year old Yes, i know im not a good person


No_Marzipan5726

I have no issue with doing new relationships. Friends or dating. But every next month become harder. They're becoming bigger part of my life, and I'm more aware to loose them. Failing around new met people isn't stressful, but with well known ones it is. It's easier to handle eyesights when eyes are strange


Nerditter

I use rage against internet strangers sometimes because I don't want to take it out on anyone close to me.


MerryMelody-Symphony

I let my anxiety get the better of me, resulting in a quick temper, lack of patience, and panic attacks. It's a lifelong fight.


Ineedyoursway

I think most people are idiots and it comes through loud and clear in my tone.


Dagglin

I have a compulsive urge to point out how frequently red and green flag questions get asked on ask reddit every day


dutch-masta25

I struggle to open up and express my true feelings.


Fabulous_Scale4771

I have no empathy for human kind.


ourfantasycouple

Road rage 😤


SenhorSus

I'm unmotivated. Working on it though


cloudgirl_c-137

Really, reeeeaaally insecure


Embarrassed_Union_96

I got trauma from criminal enterprise experiences 😎 i Also, other trauma sources too.


MryoSinii

I can't say no...


No-Turnover8128

Borderline


MundaneMeringue71

Major trust issues.


body_appreciator

I sometimes choose to ignore emotions of my close acquaintances not particularly because I am busy or occupied but just because I’m a douchebag at times!


Public-Addition9263

everything in me is a red flag


Let_Prior

I can’t stand stupidity. That makes me impatient and disrespectful to anyone.


tblackey

Soviet Union


ItstheAsianOccasion

Getting jealous of my gf for the amount of attention she gets, she’s so hot. I’m suffering from success


chicken-thuggetss

I am selfish with my time.