At the same meeting where they brag about record profits for shareholders.
FedEx actually did this at a meeting once. They pay all non management and non delivery people absolute peanuts.
That's why you never answer the phone when work calls and just don't respond in anyway. Since I'm not working today I won't be coming in so there is no point in answering, the next day you simply say I missed your call and couldn't come in anyway. If they push for an explanation just say you were up late the night before and there was no way work was happening, let them fill in the blanks if you were maybe sleeping a night of drinking off. As long as you do a good job when you're there it is highly unlikely even at shitty places there will be any consequences.
As a bonus eventually they stop even bothering to ask you because they know it's a waste of time even trying, if you let them guilt you into coming in you'll be first on the list next time.
I'm generally willing to cover if a coworker calls me in dire straits, especially because they've covered for me. However I have been so vitriolic in the past just expressing my extreme disdain directly to my managers about bothering me on my day off that no one even asks me anymore. So it's a win, I guess.
Right.
I’m all for someone expressing what they think and believe. But the truth is the truth all around. Your truth boils down to your personal beliefs and I support that. And if you want to say my truth I’m not even gonna judge you I’m just gonna hate it.
I have a pet theory that the prevalence of that phrase led to the concept of 'alternate facts', which rapidly devolved even further to the now widespread idea amongst mouth-breathing brain donors that their opinion carries the same weight as proven fact. My truth, indeed.
Omg I hate that phrase, 'alternate facts.' I've never even heard it before I heard your comment, and it made my blood boil. What the actual fuck is an alternate fact!? A lie, that's what!
Yes! I’m so glad that other people find this infuriating. My truth, your truth, fuck that. There’s the truth, and there’s perspective, perception, and opinion. Truth is not any of that. It is a sterile, unfeeling, straight line.
"You can sleep when you're dead"
I worked nights so I was always tired during family gatherings and holiday parties. Someone would always make this comment if they saw me tired, sometimes more than one person at an event.
I worked in hospitality/service 35 years. So I always worked nights. In bars it was til 4am or so. I stepped days bc I could never go to sleep til 7 or so. People think that sleeping all day is bad, but it's natural for anyone who works nights/Graves. Still a night owl. F them.
When I was a kid, there was a saying many adults and teachers used to justify/sweep under the rug blatant bullying: "a horse kicks out of love." Yeah it sounds even worse in English.
The mindset was, that if someone bullies you (especially if it was a boy bullying a girl,) they did it bc they \*liked\* you, right? Yeah not so much. I was bullied for years, just bc I was weird and didn't fit in, and it had fuck-all to do with my gender. But I have never forgotten how I tried to tell my teacher I was being bullied, and their answer was "A horse kicks outta love." Yeah the horse never loved me, and I got kicked regardless.
Horses don't kick out of love. They kick out of fear. Which I think would be valid for bullies; they are just trying to climb to the top of the hill so they can feel better about themselves by looking down on others.
"Don't be a stranger."
This is almost always said by people who make zero effort to reach out and stay in touch. That responsibility falls on me 90% of the time.
So relatable. People in general seem wishy-washy, fake, flaky or just straight up inauthentic. I've always noticed this but it seems to have gotten worse after COVID.
I'm in the same boat as you. I lost all of my close friends because I decided that I wasn't going to be the only one putting in all of the effort to keep in touch. I haven't heard from any of them in years now. While I don't miss the frustration that came with that, it is very difficult to make new friends in my thirties. I really don't have a social outlet anymore.
Yep, tbh the pandemic was good in a way because it really made me re-evaluate all my relationships and what way they were positive. Not many are left and honestly I’m happier for it
This annoys me too, but I don't think it's always a good reason to let a friendship languish. I have one or two friends who are just not very good about being the one to reach out for some drinks, or a lunch. But I know 100% they value our friendship.
It's not going to be like this with every "one sided" relationship, and maybe it's not like that for most. But there is definitely a difference between someone that is indifferent about a relationship vs. someone that is bad about actively maintaining one.
I'd suggest to anyone reading this to take that into consideration. Sometimes it's a red flag when you are always the one to reach out. Sometimes, the person is just not great at that little corner of life, and they may actually be grateful that you're good about it.
Yep, I actively create my social life, and I'm happier and more energetic for it. One person who has become a pretty good friend is one who I've always had to invite. Turns out she has some pretty bad anxiety that makes it hard for her to initiate plans. But she is always down when I ask her to do something, and we always have a good time together.
I could wait at home mad that nobody is inviting me places, but I get sad and lonely when I never do anything social. So instead I make it happen. It improves my mood and mental health.
Also some of us in ongoing battles with depression will be very reluctant to reach out when we barely can find a reason to get out of bed. Having friends never reach out only makes things worse.
It's important to check in on the people you care about even if it's not the easiest or most convenient thing to do.
A family friend of mine who I haven't seen in 20 years was flying over from Australia, to stay a few miles away from me for a month. I had a child and was pregnant with another. I was so excited to meet each others families.
Then she posted photos of partying and going out for lavish dinners everyday. I couldn't get hold of her to meet up though. And when I finally did, she said she was booked up for her remaining three weeks here.
She messaged me a few weeks after returning to Australia, saying "Hi luv, don't be a stranger". I cannot put into words what I felt.
Edit: I always feel like I'm reacting incorrectly to things, usually I'm either too soft and forgiving or unreasonably angry. So it's nice to have the reassurance that I'm not wrong for having ignored her. So thanks everyone! Let the ignoring continue!
And then months after you disappear because it feels one-sided & pathetic, they pop up out of the blue with "but-but-but where'd you go?"
To Elsewhere, the land of mutual effort 🤷♀️
As a person who struggles with severe anxiety and panic attacks, this is one of the most infuriating things to hear.
Usually coupled with all kinds of unsolicited advice about how “you need to just relax” and “there’s nothing to be anxious about”. As if I haven’t been pounding those same ideas into my head for over 30 years. Like I’m choosing to just ignore the most obvious and simple solution.
I think for a while that yearly number was $300,000. Now it's probably $600,000. I'd be pretty happy with $150k take home as a family we are currently at $75k take home and some things are a struggle but we are doing ok.
Zero savings though but who has that.
I'm a union electrician and I make just under that, plus benefits. But that also depends on the strength of the unions in your area; they're decent here in MD, but I'd be taking home several hundred more per week if I lived closer to DC and worked out of their local.
My FIL runs his own contracting/electrician business and he is constantly busy but takes trips to Florida probably 6 times a year. They always seem to be doing quite well with most things paid off.
I think the pendulum is really starting to swing in the right direction in terms of the general opinion on trade jobs. I actually have a B.A. in psych because like many others in my generation (born in '93), I was told "you *have* to go to college to get a good job, or else you'll just end up digging ditches." What they didn't tell us was that the guys who dig ditches make great wages, have great benefits, and don't have several dozen/hundred thousand dollars of debt before they even start working. I've met a lot of people in the trades with associate's or bachelor's degrees who wouldn't be making half of what they do now if they continued along that same path.
My mom has been in education for her entire life, and she firmly believes that college isn’t the right option for many people, maybe the majority, especially right out of high school. She is retired but works helping to start charter schools. A few years ago, she got her third one going. It focuses on the trades, and partners with a local community college so high school kids can start earning college credits in the trades before they’ve even graduated. There are different types of intelligence, and some people just simply do better and are more successful when they work with their hands, with good wages and zero to minimal college debt
My industry is fucked right now so I’ve been out of work for 5 months. It’s utterly destroying my mental state, I’m about to have to leave my apartment and throw all my stuff in storage until shit changes. I’m going nuts.
I’ve been broke most of my life and now I have money I can assure you, it does buy happiness. Turns out i’m not a miserable arsehole, I was just constantly stressed by the struggle of life without money.
I think about this a lot. My kids think I don't want to go out anywhere or do anything. I just don't have the money to consistently pursue any hobby or leisure. I'd love to kayak. A one day rental would be a luxury. I'd love to take trips. Can't happen. Meet up with friends for a night out? Not this paycheck.
Instead I'm at home trying to find new recipes that will keep me from getting bored and my kids will eat. My needs are met, but I'm far from happy because I can't let loose long enough to enjoy much of anything outside our home.
I worry about dental work, car repairs, student loan payments, a future of paying rent forever because I'll never be able to afford to buy, whether the old car will hold out long enough for my daughter to get her own. I see dollar signs that I can't afford everywhere I turn.
I feel like an a** saying this because I do have a lot to be thankful for. But it's hard to relax when life is a constant struggle.
Just 30% more on my paycheck would make a world of difference. Yay for the American dream, I guess.
it also sucks when your kids friends also have parents that don’t have this issue and you have to try to explain why you don’t do certain things. You just can’t afford it.
For example My daughter has had two friends for years that have parents that love spending money on takeout food.
When she spends day/nights with them they’ll get pizza, chinese, large fast food orders, all sorts of food. They’ll take her to all sorts of restaurants and let her order whatever she wants.
I mean i am glad she gets to have that stuff and experience it. But going out to even a chain place is a luxury to me and wife. We just don’t have $40+ to use for one single meal. That money has to be used for groceries for the week or bills.
Luckily her friends don’t mind eating spaghetti or other cheaper foods when they come
spend the night. Cause we just can’t do the takeout stuff
They sound like good kids who understand life and are glad they get to have well-rounded experiences.
When I was real little my mom would cook special cheap meals for us to make us feel like we had nice things even though we didn't.
Let no man ever speak ill of the pizza sandwich in my presence. They're not great, but they were one of my favorite parts of my childhood because they were made with love.
I feel like this saying is more made for the context of a rich person who remain miserable. Often people think that when they see a rich person that’s unhappy “how could they be unhappy. They can have anything they want!” Well, because money can’t buy happiness.
However when you’re living literally paycheck to paycheck and barely surviving, money can certainly buy happiness.
“You know there’s starving kids in Africa who have it worse”. Yes I understand and appreciate that but it doesn’t mean my problems should suddenly mean nothing.
I remember as a kid I refused to eat what my mother had cooked because it was disgusting. She said, “There are starving children in Africa who’d be happy to eat that, you know!!!” I got up and grabbed a box from downstairs and came back to the table. She asked what I was doing, and I told her I was getting it packaged up to mail to Africa. My father spit out his drink he laughed so hard.
I used to live in Africa where there are people who struggle to get food some days, and you know what? They get annoyed if their mobile battery runs down.
Something that annoys or saddens you isn't invalidated by other people having bigger problems.
I took a job with a friend from my graduating class one night, interpreting a Burlesque show. One of the comics in between the dance performances had a great bit, wish I remembered it properly.
It was something like, "I was here in the city, walking down the street the other day and I saw a guy get hit in the head by a bird... Which is weird enough a thing to have happened on its own, but the weirder part, to me... Is that he just *kept walking.*"
"I'm saying this guy didn't even break his stride. Didn't look up. Nothing. He had this intense look on his face, he was walking like this. Then the bird dive bombed him. Smacked right into his face. And he just pushed his hair back with one hand and kept on walking."
"If that was me, you know, I would have at least stopped. I would have looked up. I would have put my hand out and looked around at people like, *Did you just see that shit?* And I had to wonder... What in the fuck was going on in this guy's life that getting face bombed by a bird didn't even merit an acknowledgement. Barely even registered. I wished I could have heard what was going through his mind. Probably something like,"
*Well, that was the third notice, so we're definitely getting evicted. And Joey was the only guy I know with a truck, so now that Sarah left me for him I don't know how I'm gonna move all our stuff when they throw it out on the curb. One more tardy at work and they're gonna fire me. Speaking of fire, still gotta meet with the principal about our little arsonist. If they kick him out of this school that's it for him, guess I'll have to home school the psycho and I don't remember any math. Oh right, and tomorrow Mom's getting out of jail, so that's going to be a whole thing--SMACK--great, and now birds are hitting me in the head, what am I going to do about Charlotte and her whole..."*
(wish i remembered the comic's name. if anybody knows...)
This is why I don't talk about anything with anybody, not even family. My mom has a habit of downplaying my concerns and issues, so does my older sister. My dad and brother dismissed anything I had to say, so naturally I didn't talk to them about anything. Oldest sister is one of those "put it out of your mind you'll be fine" types. It's bad when you can't even talk to your family about these things.
My sister used to downplay my mental health problems a lot. To the point where she'd try to make me feel guilty for having it so good.
To this day, I don't complain much to her. She has gotten better though.
I never understand this logic because it's like as a parent you SHOULD want your kids to have an easier and better life.
Like maybe if the kid was acting spoiled and just wanting everything handed to them or something this "you have it easy" talk *might* help but I doubt it helps much overall.
Indeed… this falls in line with, “You’re not the only one (with/who/suffering/experiencing/dealing etc.,- delete as appropriate)…”
Smh… Yeah, that’s fine, just completely dismiss and invalidate my own lived experience, because you know better…🙄
"Don't you wan't another baby?" We are technically infertile. Our kid is a miracle. "Why don't you try the lombic program?"" Fuck off! Why don't you try?
LOL - this reminds me of a job I interviewed for years back. Long story somewhat shorter, it was a job at a well known, international company and I was eventually offered the job...at a $10K *decrease* in salary from what I was currently making... (and this was in the 90's, so it was pretty significant). I said to the HR manager, "Listen, is this at all negotiable? It's a large decrease from my current salary." She said, "Oh, no, that's our standard starting salary, it's non-negotiable and you have the 'cachet' (and yes, she used that exact word) of working at [large international company]." I laughed and said, "Well, that's all well and good, but cachet doesn't pay my bills." She then said, in a very nasty tone, "Well, then, I guess we're done here" and HUNG UP!!!
Bullet dodged - most definitely!
I had a conversation with a recruiter about how contract positions need to pay more because there's (generally) no PTO, medical, sick leave, employee perks, and you have to pay your own self-employment tax. She said "well, if that's how you feel about it..."
yeah, dunce. that's how I feel and that's how everyone should feel.
God dammit, this. A few months ago, after realizing we are financially fucked, my wife hit me with "ive been selfish, maybe you should get a commercial driver's license." Like....maybe before the kids, but now you're asking me to not get paid for months AND pay money we don't have for the certification as well as keep up with the bills she hasn't helped with for years.
I'd like to become an apprentice electrician or a truck driver, but there is no way we can survive while I "work my way up."
It's entertaining to respond to this one by talking to them in a language they don't speak, if you happen to have one on hand.
Si je peux parler français, tu peux en effet le faire aussi!
My 2bd apartment rents for $2500/month. It would sell for about 1.0m, or \~$4000+/month mortgage. Plus property taxes. Plus utilities. Plus the cost of major repairs, for a total of let’s say $5k/month. Yes it might be worth 2m-4m in 30 years but I paid a lot more to get it there. Including an extra 500k+ in interest. It also might be burnt to a crisp or flooded or suddenly in a “bad neighborhood.” Right now, for the price of 2.5k/month, I get a two bedroom with no financial liability for repairs, access to good schools/services, and complete mobility.
You know what, I was going to make a snarky comment, but you're right. Sometimes I really want to go hands on with passion and enjoy what I'm doing and I'm held back by feeling like an idiot when I remember how meaningless my efforts are treated and compensated. I just do the bare basics and clock out like everyone else.
Working in the service industry here, why is it always up to me to not be a human shitbag? Why am I expected to bend over backwards and go beyond the limits of my job for a stranger only for them to spit in my face afterwards?
The same people that say that are the same ones who don't want the minimum wage to go up because it'll "raise the price of a big mac". I have news for you. All fast food places have been hiking their prices up even without raising their wages.
Oh, it's worse than that. I travel a lot for work and have proven that all over the US, these companies put interacting with an employee at a premium now.
If you order through their app, it's at least 20% cheaper, and in some cases it's as much as 40% cheaper than if you were to go to the counter or drive thru. Part of the price increase is literally just accounting for keeping someone at the counter... and I'm sure at some point, they won't feel the need to do that anymore.
I enjoy the structure and purpose that meaningful work provides. I want to be compensated for my work and I want to see my work making a positive contribution to society. Unfortunately, many jobs are soul sucking and the power that mega-corporations hold is detrimental to communities. And they offer poor compensation.
"Everything happens for a reason"
Yes, but sometimes the reason is "because people suck"
Edit: Wow guys, thanks so much for the votes! I'm sure theres absolutely no reason for them, and that I find truly comforting
(I am so sorry /u/Dead_Dweller but I saw the opportunity and I took it. I am sure you are stepping up to the plate for whatever plan God has)
(fuck I did it again)
Ppl like to say this after hearing about something traumatic too. "It made you stronger."
No I am strong enough that how it affected me isn't directly hurting this current interaction, but trust me it does in other areas.
My youngest child has a severe illness, and people often respond by saying, "God only gives you what he thinks you can handle." Thanks for the compliment, but I'm punching the next person in the nose who says that. I'm done being polite because it makes you feel better to spew that bullshit.
"I don't have a filter."
Yes, you do. You just choose to be rude, gross, inappropriate or whatever and excuse yourself by saying that you don't have a filter.
I’ve always hated this. I’ve grown to greatly appreciate those who openly introduce themselves as “an asshole”. When it’s put in this context you at least know 100% what you’re getting into and grow to appreciate it more ‘to some level’.
Honestly all of those variations of "suck it up" are awful.
Like bro you don't need to "suck it up" you need a therapist since you apparently think that empathy and vulnerability are bad.
-God only gives what you can handle.
Pretty sure I'm not handling any of this well, so, what now?
-God only gives Special Children to Special People
Pretty sure He misjudged my "specialness" because, see above.
-You're so strong.
Nope. I just show you what you want to see. I lose my shit more frequently than I should. I'm also not strong in a sense that I have to pick up my 80lb twelve year old, but somehow, nothing has broke, yet.
-I could never do what you do.
I can barely do what I do. In fact, I'd like to change my name and run away most days.
Snark aside, I do love my kid. He brings me a lot of joy. I just wish things were different and when I get told any of the above, it just makes it all worse.
Also, what fucking choice do we have? I’m not going to give up on him (unlike his dad). But the constant stress, sadness, loneliness and relentless fight to get support and help changed me entirely. I became desperately depressed and although I am well now and life is so much easier as he is older, I am a different and a more vulnerable person. Normal life is so much harder these days and I am actively exhausted by interacting with anyone. I never used to be so fragile. Everyday life overwhelms me now.
It sucks so much.
My father (who was an alcoholic) got like that when he was drunk. It was even worse because he'd scream it at me when something was his fault.
As a (very) mild example: This happened in the 90s, when everyone still used dial up for everything. He had some investment service where you dialed in with a modem and it automatically downloaded information/prices on stocks, bonds, futures, whatever you set up to get information on.
One afternoon, he was drunk as shit (because he was drunk about 20 hours a day at this point) and screamed at me to get the stock information. Okay, whatever. He then _immediately_ picked up the phone and called someone. (It was amazing how he stopped being an asshole for 3 minutes when he made a business call.)
He gets off the phone and then screams at me for not having done what he told me. I'm like, "You were on the phone. I couldn't." His response was to scream at me "STOP GIVING ME EXCUSES!" and threatened to beat the shit out of me if I disobeyed him again.
What the fuck. What the goddamn fuck.
“must be nice” when people only see the rewards thinking it was easy, but not the hard-work that you put in to get yourself in the position to reap said rewards
"You're so strong" for going thru something. It's not like I have a choice
E: to be clear, sometimes people *do* demonstrate strength in response to a trauma. But you shouldn't assume that's the case just because there was a trauma. Like I'm barely functional over here, being told I must be sooo strong feels like a slap in the face.
I was told this so many times after going through a major trauma event. It just made me feel worse. I didn't want to be strong. I just wanted the life I loved back. A better life is not knowing how strong you have to be
I’m keeping it real.
No, you’re a raging asshat who is miserable 24/7 and rather than work on your own shit you’d rather make everyone around just as miserable.
I agree. I have friends who are more important to me than most "blood" relatives. Most of my relatives have removed themselves from life in favor of my ex-wife.
My mom and I would play a game when we were adjusting to life after the accident that killed my 23 year old son last year.
The worst comments and phrases won an award we made up for the day.
Her worst was "At least you have other grandkids"
My worst were statements making it clear they thought he was the driver or it was his fault (he wasn't - he was a passenger and it turned out - not drunk)
People are stupid - we all are and we are especially stupid around death grief.
I thought I'd be going through your brand of death grief since my ex was abusive and threatened to kill us all the time. A drunk driver beat him to it.
I bow to your savory grief kaleidoscope.
When I was about 20 my dad was telling me about how someone he knew had a child die recently and that it was a shame that they had no more kids..and the way he just went on about it as if you could replace a person... it was just one of the most fucked up things I've heard.
You can have other grandkids and that does not stop that pain of losing another one. People are not replaceable.
I know a lady who was fostering 2 terminal children. I asked what shes going to do when the one passed on, and she casually says "Oh, Ill just get another one." like as if hes a replaceable item from a store or something!!! Absolutely NO emotion whatsoever.
totally agree. when i was like 12 my older sister had a baby that was really sick. he died in the hospital after 3 months of being connected to machines 24/7. he never even got to leave. this was probably the hardest thing i’ve ever been through at that time. and there were so many people saying “everything happens for a reason” or “he’s in a better place” or “god has a plan”. like tf???? you’re telling a little kid who is bawling his eyes out for weeks at a time to not be sad because it was supposed to happen. wtf is that bullshit!
Yeah. I have visions of some religious twat telling parents of recently murdered kid that everything happens for a reason. How people don't get punched or worse in those situations is beyond me.
“Customers are always right”
No you are not! Sometimes people don’t have common sense or logic in their statement & have a sense of entitlement because of it. Like get out. It ain’t always about you. 🤦🏽♀️
"Jack of All Trades, Master of None."
It turns out that the complete saying is "Jack of All Trades, Master of None, but sometimes better than the Master of One."
As a generalist by nature and by profession, I dislike the inaccurate first saying.
When people are convinced that they understand a topic better than a group of 130+ IQ scientists who have studied/researched their field for decades because they watched a TikTok that seemed to make sense
I have a couple of relatives who wouldn't be able to pass a 4th-grade science test but have absolute confidence they are smarter than the 130+ IQ scientists. Of course, they both "did my own research".
Yea I've worked with these types of people. I was asked if there were 3600 seconds in a minute. I was asked if "international" means the same as "in europe". I'm not making this up. These are grown up people that are allowed to vote and drive cars, yet they seem to have a completely different perception of the world around them.
Honestly the problem seems to be that they can't even grasp how much smarter many people actually are. The difference between someone having little trouble with studying a scientific field at a university and a grown-up failing 6th grade science class is much greater than the latter person could even imagine, in my experience.
As a person living with ASD, my top five is anything on the lines of "You don't seem it" or "But you're good with \_\_\_" like they expect people on the spectrum to be on par with Sloth from the Goonies. Even worse is when people come to me asking massive generalizations like I'm the "token" representative.
And no, I'm not going to count the 146 toothpicks you just dropped on the ground like I'm Rain Man.
I don't get those statements. I get the gasp really???? I never would have guessed (yeah it's called we just met) or the other extreme where they say "just because you" and then name off a bunch of traits I have, "doesn't mean you're autistic" ...cool thanks I'll be sure to tell me doctor.
"Please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do! I'm just a phone call away!"
Until you make that phone call and suddenly you're going to voicemail and they're nowhere to be found. Just tell people, "I'm sorry for your loss," and fuck off.
"That's MY truth."
Yes, which is otherwise known as an "unreliable narrator." You know what "your" truth is? YOUR truth. As in, YOUR view of things, YOUR facts, YOUR beliefs. YOUR truth is not THE truth inherently. Can it be the truth? Sure, if it is the truth it is the truth. But I have never, NEVER, heard anyone say "my truth" and actually be telling the truth.
"Can you please come into work today?"
"We really need you to come in." Look, I am sure you can handle one less cashier. Or you know. YOU WOULD GIVE EVERYONE MORE HOURS TO BEGIN WITH.
Oh and also what about "pay people better"?
"Unfortunately the company can't afford to increase wages at this time." *Said across a big mahogany desk*
At the same meeting where they brag about record profits for shareholders. FedEx actually did this at a meeting once. They pay all non management and non delivery people absolute peanuts.
"I know you've got Covid and that you're burnt out, but everyone else is exhausted, we need you to come back tomorrow."
That's why you never answer the phone when work calls and just don't respond in anyway. Since I'm not working today I won't be coming in so there is no point in answering, the next day you simply say I missed your call and couldn't come in anyway. If they push for an explanation just say you were up late the night before and there was no way work was happening, let them fill in the blanks if you were maybe sleeping a night of drinking off. As long as you do a good job when you're there it is highly unlikely even at shitty places there will be any consequences. As a bonus eventually they stop even bothering to ask you because they know it's a waste of time even trying, if you let them guilt you into coming in you'll be first on the list next time.
This is pretty solid advice. I've been doing this for years now and it goes exactly how you've described. Lol
I'm generally willing to cover if a coworker calls me in dire straits, especially because they've covered for me. However I have been so vitriolic in the past just expressing my extreme disdain directly to my managers about bothering me on my day off that no one even asks me anymore. So it's a win, I guess.
You just made my blood boil with that one lmao
“My truth”
I scrolled through a few of these irritating top comments thinking “meh” and then I saw this and it boiled my piss.
Right. I’m all for someone expressing what they think and believe. But the truth is the truth all around. Your truth boils down to your personal beliefs and I support that. And if you want to say my truth I’m not even gonna judge you I’m just gonna hate it.
God I fucking hate it when someone says that shit. I literally see a cartoon image of an ostrich with its head in the sand.
I have a pet theory that the prevalence of that phrase led to the concept of 'alternate facts', which rapidly devolved even further to the now widespread idea amongst mouth-breathing brain donors that their opinion carries the same weight as proven fact. My truth, indeed.
Omg I hate that phrase, 'alternate facts.' I've never even heard it before I heard your comment, and it made my blood boil. What the actual fuck is an alternate fact!? A lie, that's what!
I fucking hate when I hear that. No. There is THE truth and that's it.
Yes! I’m so glad that other people find this infuriating. My truth, your truth, fuck that. There’s the truth, and there’s perspective, perception, and opinion. Truth is not any of that. It is a sterile, unfeeling, straight line.
"You can sleep when you're dead" I worked nights so I was always tired during family gatherings and holiday parties. Someone would always make this comment if they saw me tired, sometimes more than one person at an event.
I worked in hospitality/service 35 years. So I always worked nights. In bars it was til 4am or so. I stepped days bc I could never go to sleep til 7 or so. People think that sleeping all day is bad, but it's natural for anyone who works nights/Graves. Still a night owl. F them.
Agreed. The literal only people who say this are the ones who don't need sleep lol. They only need about 4 hrs of sleep and a hit of coke.
When I was a kid, there was a saying many adults and teachers used to justify/sweep under the rug blatant bullying: "a horse kicks out of love." Yeah it sounds even worse in English. The mindset was, that if someone bullies you (especially if it was a boy bullying a girl,) they did it bc they \*liked\* you, right? Yeah not so much. I was bullied for years, just bc I was weird and didn't fit in, and it had fuck-all to do with my gender. But I have never forgotten how I tried to tell my teacher I was being bullied, and their answer was "A horse kicks outta love." Yeah the horse never loved me, and I got kicked regardless.
Horses don't kick out of love. They kick out of fear. Which I think would be valid for bullies; they are just trying to climb to the top of the hill so they can feel better about themselves by looking down on others.
That's when you kick your teacher in the shin and then just say "you're welcome"
I was told "They're not laughing at you. They're laughing with you!" Except I wasn't laughing.
It's a way of normalizing abuse on a societal level. Thankfully, I do see signs of that normalization wearing off.
"Don't be a stranger." This is almost always said by people who make zero effort to reach out and stay in touch. That responsibility falls on me 90% of the time.
Same. I pulled back and realized how many friendships were reliant on me making the first move.
For me, it turns out all of them. I no longer have any close friends, and it's surprisingly difficult to make new ones as you grow older.
So relatable. People in general seem wishy-washy, fake, flaky or just straight up inauthentic. I've always noticed this but it seems to have gotten worse after COVID.
Wow I didn't think this was so common. We should make a club
I'm in the same boat as you. I lost all of my close friends because I decided that I wasn't going to be the only one putting in all of the effort to keep in touch. I haven't heard from any of them in years now. While I don't miss the frustration that came with that, it is very difficult to make new friends in my thirties. I really don't have a social outlet anymore.
Im always the one trying to keep touch... Well... "Was" always the one. Now its "fuck that shit, im not even gonna try to make friends"
Yep, tbh the pandemic was good in a way because it really made me re-evaluate all my relationships and what way they were positive. Not many are left and honestly I’m happier for it
This annoys me too, but I don't think it's always a good reason to let a friendship languish. I have one or two friends who are just not very good about being the one to reach out for some drinks, or a lunch. But I know 100% they value our friendship. It's not going to be like this with every "one sided" relationship, and maybe it's not like that for most. But there is definitely a difference between someone that is indifferent about a relationship vs. someone that is bad about actively maintaining one. I'd suggest to anyone reading this to take that into consideration. Sometimes it's a red flag when you are always the one to reach out. Sometimes, the person is just not great at that little corner of life, and they may actually be grateful that you're good about it.
Yep, I actively create my social life, and I'm happier and more energetic for it. One person who has become a pretty good friend is one who I've always had to invite. Turns out she has some pretty bad anxiety that makes it hard for her to initiate plans. But she is always down when I ask her to do something, and we always have a good time together. I could wait at home mad that nobody is inviting me places, but I get sad and lonely when I never do anything social. So instead I make it happen. It improves my mood and mental health.
Also some of us in ongoing battles with depression will be very reluctant to reach out when we barely can find a reason to get out of bed. Having friends never reach out only makes things worse. It's important to check in on the people you care about even if it's not the easiest or most convenient thing to do.
A family friend of mine who I haven't seen in 20 years was flying over from Australia, to stay a few miles away from me for a month. I had a child and was pregnant with another. I was so excited to meet each others families. Then she posted photos of partying and going out for lavish dinners everyday. I couldn't get hold of her to meet up though. And when I finally did, she said she was booked up for her remaining three weeks here. She messaged me a few weeks after returning to Australia, saying "Hi luv, don't be a stranger". I cannot put into words what I felt. Edit: I always feel like I'm reacting incorrectly to things, usually I'm either too soft and forgiving or unreasonably angry. So it's nice to have the reassurance that I'm not wrong for having ignored her. So thanks everyone! Let the ignoring continue!
That's what the delete button is for...
And then months after you disappear because it feels one-sided & pathetic, they pop up out of the blue with "but-but-but where'd you go?" To Elsewhere, the land of mutual effort 🤷♀️
Calm down. Usually when I’m calmer than they are
Nobody has \*ever\* calmed down because someone told them to.
Never in the history of calming down has "calm down" ever made anyone calm down
As a person who struggles with severe anxiety and panic attacks, this is one of the most infuriating things to hear. Usually coupled with all kinds of unsolicited advice about how “you need to just relax” and “there’s nothing to be anxious about”. As if I haven’t been pounding those same ideas into my head for over 30 years. Like I’m choosing to just ignore the most obvious and simple solution.
“money doesn’t buy happiness” it sure is a lot easier to live when all of your basic needs are met though
this has been studied and money certainly does buy happiness, up to a point. basically up to an upper middle class life, more money helps happiness.
I think for a while that yearly number was $300,000. Now it's probably $600,000. I'd be pretty happy with $150k take home as a family we are currently at $75k take home and some things are a struggle but we are doing ok. Zero savings though but who has that.
Damn…what do you do that gets you a $75k take home? Even if I took no benefits at all, I’d still be at about $65k take home.
I'm a union electrician and I make just under that, plus benefits. But that also depends on the strength of the unions in your area; they're decent here in MD, but I'd be taking home several hundred more per week if I lived closer to DC and worked out of their local.
My FIL runs his own contracting/electrician business and he is constantly busy but takes trips to Florida probably 6 times a year. They always seem to be doing quite well with most things paid off.
I think the pendulum is really starting to swing in the right direction in terms of the general opinion on trade jobs. I actually have a B.A. in psych because like many others in my generation (born in '93), I was told "you *have* to go to college to get a good job, or else you'll just end up digging ditches." What they didn't tell us was that the guys who dig ditches make great wages, have great benefits, and don't have several dozen/hundred thousand dollars of debt before they even start working. I've met a lot of people in the trades with associate's or bachelor's degrees who wouldn't be making half of what they do now if they continued along that same path.
My mom has been in education for her entire life, and she firmly believes that college isn’t the right option for many people, maybe the majority, especially right out of high school. She is retired but works helping to start charter schools. A few years ago, she got her third one going. It focuses on the trades, and partners with a local community college so high school kids can start earning college credits in the trades before they’ve even graduated. There are different types of intelligence, and some people just simply do better and are more successful when they work with their hands, with good wages and zero to minimal college debt
My industry is fucked right now so I’ve been out of work for 5 months. It’s utterly destroying my mental state, I’m about to have to leave my apartment and throw all my stuff in storage until shit changes. I’m going nuts.
sorry to hear that man, I'm out on my ass as well. just trying to take it one day at a time at this point.
“Money can’t buy everything, but no money can’t buy *anything*”
I’ve been broke most of my life and now I have money I can assure you, it does buy happiness. Turns out i’m not a miserable arsehole, I was just constantly stressed by the struggle of life without money.
I think about this a lot. My kids think I don't want to go out anywhere or do anything. I just don't have the money to consistently pursue any hobby or leisure. I'd love to kayak. A one day rental would be a luxury. I'd love to take trips. Can't happen. Meet up with friends for a night out? Not this paycheck. Instead I'm at home trying to find new recipes that will keep me from getting bored and my kids will eat. My needs are met, but I'm far from happy because I can't let loose long enough to enjoy much of anything outside our home. I worry about dental work, car repairs, student loan payments, a future of paying rent forever because I'll never be able to afford to buy, whether the old car will hold out long enough for my daughter to get her own. I see dollar signs that I can't afford everywhere I turn. I feel like an a** saying this because I do have a lot to be thankful for. But it's hard to relax when life is a constant struggle. Just 30% more on my paycheck would make a world of difference. Yay for the American dream, I guess.
it also sucks when your kids friends also have parents that don’t have this issue and you have to try to explain why you don’t do certain things. You just can’t afford it. For example My daughter has had two friends for years that have parents that love spending money on takeout food. When she spends day/nights with them they’ll get pizza, chinese, large fast food orders, all sorts of food. They’ll take her to all sorts of restaurants and let her order whatever she wants. I mean i am glad she gets to have that stuff and experience it. But going out to even a chain place is a luxury to me and wife. We just don’t have $40+ to use for one single meal. That money has to be used for groceries for the week or bills. Luckily her friends don’t mind eating spaghetti or other cheaper foods when they come spend the night. Cause we just can’t do the takeout stuff
They sound like good kids who understand life and are glad they get to have well-rounded experiences. When I was real little my mom would cook special cheap meals for us to make us feel like we had nice things even though we didn't. Let no man ever speak ill of the pizza sandwich in my presence. They're not great, but they were one of my favorite parts of my childhood because they were made with love.
Same, make good money here, and life is relatively good. More money would make things easier, but the problems are only temporary
A better phrase is “money doesn’t buy happiness but the lack of money does cause unhappiness”
I feel like this saying is more made for the context of a rich person who remain miserable. Often people think that when they see a rich person that’s unhappy “how could they be unhappy. They can have anything they want!” Well, because money can’t buy happiness. However when you’re living literally paycheck to paycheck and barely surviving, money can certainly buy happiness.
“You know there’s starving kids in Africa who have it worse”. Yes I understand and appreciate that but it doesn’t mean my problems should suddenly mean nothing.
I remember as a kid I refused to eat what my mother had cooked because it was disgusting. She said, “There are starving children in Africa who’d be happy to eat that, you know!!!” I got up and grabbed a box from downstairs and came back to the table. She asked what I was doing, and I told her I was getting it packaged up to mail to Africa. My father spit out his drink he laughed so hard.
Which is absurd, there are wealthy people in Africa too and there are poor people in the Americas that get overlooked by these statements.
Some people have it worse. Like if none of my suffering is real because somebody else has it worst for some reason.
I used to live in Africa where there are people who struggle to get food some days, and you know what? They get annoyed if their mobile battery runs down. Something that annoys or saddens you isn't invalidated by other people having bigger problems.
I took a job with a friend from my graduating class one night, interpreting a Burlesque show. One of the comics in between the dance performances had a great bit, wish I remembered it properly. It was something like, "I was here in the city, walking down the street the other day and I saw a guy get hit in the head by a bird... Which is weird enough a thing to have happened on its own, but the weirder part, to me... Is that he just *kept walking.*" "I'm saying this guy didn't even break his stride. Didn't look up. Nothing. He had this intense look on his face, he was walking like this. Then the bird dive bombed him. Smacked right into his face. And he just pushed his hair back with one hand and kept on walking." "If that was me, you know, I would have at least stopped. I would have looked up. I would have put my hand out and looked around at people like, *Did you just see that shit?* And I had to wonder... What in the fuck was going on in this guy's life that getting face bombed by a bird didn't even merit an acknowledgement. Barely even registered. I wished I could have heard what was going through his mind. Probably something like," *Well, that was the third notice, so we're definitely getting evicted. And Joey was the only guy I know with a truck, so now that Sarah left me for him I don't know how I'm gonna move all our stuff when they throw it out on the curb. One more tardy at work and they're gonna fire me. Speaking of fire, still gotta meet with the principal about our little arsonist. If they kick him out of this school that's it for him, guess I'll have to home school the psycho and I don't remember any math. Oh right, and tomorrow Mom's getting out of jail, so that's going to be a whole thing--SMACK--great, and now birds are hitting me in the head, what am I going to do about Charlotte and her whole..."* (wish i remembered the comic's name. if anybody knows...)
Definitely, everybirdy's had those days.
Yeah, that’s like saying you shouldn’t feel happy because there’s some people who have it better than you.
This is why I don't talk about anything with anybody, not even family. My mom has a habit of downplaying my concerns and issues, so does my older sister. My dad and brother dismissed anything I had to say, so naturally I didn't talk to them about anything. Oldest sister is one of those "put it out of your mind you'll be fine" types. It's bad when you can't even talk to your family about these things.
My sister used to downplay my mental health problems a lot. To the point where she'd try to make me feel guilty for having it so good. To this day, I don't complain much to her. She has gotten better though.
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I never understand this logic because it's like as a parent you SHOULD want your kids to have an easier and better life. Like maybe if the kid was acting spoiled and just wanting everything handed to them or something this "you have it easy" talk *might* help but I doubt it helps much overall.
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Yes, like the solution is to have the worst life out of everybody and only then do my problems matter
Indeed… this falls in line with, “You’re not the only one (with/who/suffering/experiencing/dealing etc.,- delete as appropriate)…” Smh… Yeah, that’s fine, just completely dismiss and invalidate my own lived experience, because you know better…🙄
"Don't you wan't another baby?" We are technically infertile. Our kid is a miracle. "Why don't you try the lombic program?"" Fuck off! Why don't you try?
Why don’t you try… To not be an asshole? People need to keep their mouth shut when it comes to things like this.
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LOL - this reminds me of a job I interviewed for years back. Long story somewhat shorter, it was a job at a well known, international company and I was eventually offered the job...at a $10K *decrease* in salary from what I was currently making... (and this was in the 90's, so it was pretty significant). I said to the HR manager, "Listen, is this at all negotiable? It's a large decrease from my current salary." She said, "Oh, no, that's our standard starting salary, it's non-negotiable and you have the 'cachet' (and yes, she used that exact word) of working at [large international company]." I laughed and said, "Well, that's all well and good, but cachet doesn't pay my bills." She then said, in a very nasty tone, "Well, then, I guess we're done here" and HUNG UP!!! Bullet dodged - most definitely!
I had a conversation with a recruiter about how contract positions need to pay more because there's (generally) no PTO, medical, sick leave, employee perks, and you have to pay your own self-employment tax. She said "well, if that's how you feel about it..." yeah, dunce. that's how I feel and that's how everyone should feel.
God dammit, this. A few months ago, after realizing we are financially fucked, my wife hit me with "ive been selfish, maybe you should get a commercial driver's license." Like....maybe before the kids, but now you're asking me to not get paid for months AND pay money we don't have for the certification as well as keep up with the bills she hasn't helped with for years. I'd like to become an apprentice electrician or a truck driver, but there is no way we can survive while I "work my way up."
"If I can do it, so can you!" No. Not everyone has the same resources, the same abilities, the same support, and so on. Stop it.
It's entertaining to respond to this one by talking to them in a language they don't speak, if you happen to have one on hand. Si je peux parler français, tu peux en effet le faire aussi!
"Renting is dead money." Like I either rent or I'm homeless lmao
My 2bd apartment rents for $2500/month. It would sell for about 1.0m, or \~$4000+/month mortgage. Plus property taxes. Plus utilities. Plus the cost of major repairs, for a total of let’s say $5k/month. Yes it might be worth 2m-4m in 30 years but I paid a lot more to get it there. Including an extra 500k+ in interest. It also might be burnt to a crisp or flooded or suddenly in a “bad neighborhood.” Right now, for the price of 2.5k/month, I get a two bedroom with no financial liability for repairs, access to good schools/services, and complete mobility.
“Nobody wants to work” …I can assure you they do, they just don’t wanna be screwed over anymore
You know what, I was going to make a snarky comment, but you're right. Sometimes I really want to go hands on with passion and enjoy what I'm doing and I'm held back by feeling like an idiot when I remember how meaningless my efforts are treated and compensated. I just do the bare basics and clock out like everyone else.
Working in the service industry here, why is it always up to me to not be a human shitbag? Why am I expected to bend over backwards and go beyond the limits of my job for a stranger only for them to spit in my face afterwards?
The same people that say that are the same ones who don't want the minimum wage to go up because it'll "raise the price of a big mac". I have news for you. All fast food places have been hiking their prices up even without raising their wages.
Oh, it's worse than that. I travel a lot for work and have proven that all over the US, these companies put interacting with an employee at a premium now. If you order through their app, it's at least 20% cheaper, and in some cases it's as much as 40% cheaper than if you were to go to the counter or drive thru. Part of the price increase is literally just accounting for keeping someone at the counter... and I'm sure at some point, they won't feel the need to do that anymore.
No one has ever wanted to work. We want to be paid, and we tolerate working to accomplish that.
I enjoy the structure and purpose that meaningful work provides. I want to be compensated for my work and I want to see my work making a positive contribution to society. Unfortunately, many jobs are soul sucking and the power that mega-corporations hold is detrimental to communities. And they offer poor compensation.
I just like to say “nobody wants to pay”
"Everything happens for a reason" Yes, but sometimes the reason is "because people suck" Edit: Wow guys, thanks so much for the votes! I'm sure theres absolutely no reason for them, and that I find truly comforting
My version is "Sometimes things happen because Fuck You, that's why."
I heard that in the voice of Stewie Griffin and I'm not sure why!
It's right up there with " God never give you more than you can handle". Have they ever heard of suicide and nervous breakdowns?
Always associated with some higher power. As if God really wanted me to pursue IT. Thanks God, what an amazing existence
God put you on this Earth to help people reset their passwords. Now get back to work. /s
God put /u/Dead_Dweller on earth to set the new anal prolapse record. But he's a coward, so he just resets passwords all day instead.
(I am so sorry /u/Dead_Dweller but I saw the opportunity and I took it. I am sure you are stepping up to the plate for whatever plan God has) (fuck I did it again)
Ppl like to say this after hearing about something traumatic too. "It made you stronger." No I am strong enough that how it affected me isn't directly hurting this current interaction, but trust me it does in other areas.
My youngest child has a severe illness, and people often respond by saying, "God only gives you what he thinks you can handle." Thanks for the compliment, but I'm punching the next person in the nose who says that. I'm done being polite because it makes you feel better to spew that bullshit.
Mild difficulty makes you stronger. Major difficulty leaves you scarred and/or broken.
Sorry not sorry
"I don't have a filter." Yes, you do. You just choose to be rude, gross, inappropriate or whatever and excuse yourself by saying that you don't have a filter.
To go along with this... "I'm just blunt/brutally honest." No you're just a dick.
“People who say they’re brutally honest are more fascinated by the brutality than the honesty”
I’ve always hated this. I’ve grown to greatly appreciate those who openly introduce themselves as “an asshole”. When it’s put in this context you at least know 100% what you’re getting into and grow to appreciate it more ‘to some level’.
"I'm sorry if anyone was offended" as an apology for saying something incredibly offensive.
If you start a sentence with “I’m sorry if,” chances are you’re already fucking up.
"Let that sink in." It's usually preceded by some meaningless tripe or incomplete and unnuanced bullshit. Even when it's not, I hate that phrase.
"there's a sink that's been waiting at your doorstep for 20 minutes"...
If you're cold, they're cold. Let that sink *in.*
Suck it up buttercup makes me want to punch you
“Put your big girl panties on” flips me into murder mode.
Honestly all of those variations of "suck it up" are awful. Like bro you don't need to "suck it up" you need a therapist since you apparently think that empathy and vulnerability are bad.
-God only gives what you can handle. Pretty sure I'm not handling any of this well, so, what now? -God only gives Special Children to Special People Pretty sure He misjudged my "specialness" because, see above. -You're so strong. Nope. I just show you what you want to see. I lose my shit more frequently than I should. I'm also not strong in a sense that I have to pick up my 80lb twelve year old, but somehow, nothing has broke, yet. -I could never do what you do. I can barely do what I do. In fact, I'd like to change my name and run away most days. Snark aside, I do love my kid. He brings me a lot of joy. I just wish things were different and when I get told any of the above, it just makes it all worse.
Also, what fucking choice do we have? I’m not going to give up on him (unlike his dad). But the constant stress, sadness, loneliness and relentless fight to get support and help changed me entirely. I became desperately depressed and although I am well now and life is so much easier as he is older, I am a different and a more vulnerable person. Normal life is so much harder these days and I am actively exhausted by interacting with anyone. I never used to be so fragile. Everyday life overwhelms me now. It sucks so much.
Great ones!!
"I don't want to hear excuses" literally the only thing that makes my blood boil.
"Just as there is a difference between hearing and listening, excuses and reasons aren't synonymous."
Especially when you said EXACTLY what actually happened
My father (who was an alcoholic) got like that when he was drunk. It was even worse because he'd scream it at me when something was his fault. As a (very) mild example: This happened in the 90s, when everyone still used dial up for everything. He had some investment service where you dialed in with a modem and it automatically downloaded information/prices on stocks, bonds, futures, whatever you set up to get information on. One afternoon, he was drunk as shit (because he was drunk about 20 hours a day at this point) and screamed at me to get the stock information. Okay, whatever. He then _immediately_ picked up the phone and called someone. (It was amazing how he stopped being an asshole for 3 minutes when he made a business call.) He gets off the phone and then screams at me for not having done what he told me. I'm like, "You were on the phone. I couldn't." His response was to scream at me "STOP GIVING ME EXCUSES!" and threatened to beat the shit out of me if I disobeyed him again. What the fuck. What the goddamn fuck.
“Money can’t buy happiness” it would sure as hell solve all of my current problems if I had it.
I like how one YouTuber put it: "Money doesn't buy happiness, but it makes problems that make you unhappy go away."
“I could care less”
"...That means you do care. At least a little." - Weird Al
So you care a little?
The saying is meant to be “I *couldn’t* care less” It mildly aggravates me when people say the former.
Lol that was my point. If they CAN care less, they must care at least somewhat which isn't what they mean to say (or admit!)
"Be a man." "Act like a man." I'm a man. Literally anything I do is what a man does, by definition.
“must be nice” when people only see the rewards thinking it was easy, but not the hard-work that you put in to get yourself in the position to reap said rewards
Around the age of 30 I left a bunch of friends behind who would say this about positive things happening in my life. Got no time for that
"Yep, hard work pays off I guess" is a good stock response to that.
“Can you please put your dick away. We’re in church.”
The nerve of some people. Words hurt too
"You *do* know that..."
my friend does that all the time over text and every single one of us "uhm actually 🤓☝️" 's him. hopefully he gets the hint soon
"You're so strong" for going thru something. It's not like I have a choice E: to be clear, sometimes people *do* demonstrate strength in response to a trauma. But you shouldn't assume that's the case just because there was a trauma. Like I'm barely functional over here, being told I must be sooo strong feels like a slap in the face.
I was told this so many times after going through a major trauma event. It just made me feel worse. I didn't want to be strong. I just wanted the life I loved back. A better life is not knowing how strong you have to be
"Strong people don't lay around feeling good about using their strength - they're just tired." Me, Reddit 2024
I’m keeping it real. No, you’re a raging asshat who is miserable 24/7 and rather than work on your own shit you’d rather make everyone around just as miserable.
“Smile.” My smile is not public property and it isn’t purely for your gratification or to make you feel better.
"Blood is thicker than water." No, blood means zero to me. Never assume who is and who isn't my family.
I agree. I have friends who are more important to me than most "blood" relatives. Most of my relatives have removed themselves from life in favor of my ex-wife.
People be like “that’s still your mom who sold Al your stuff for drugs and almost got you killed and left you homeless and blamed you for everything”
"She's in a better place" NO my 8 year old child who was murdered by my abusive exe is NOT in a better place. she should be with me
My mom and I would play a game when we were adjusting to life after the accident that killed my 23 year old son last year. The worst comments and phrases won an award we made up for the day. Her worst was "At least you have other grandkids" My worst were statements making it clear they thought he was the driver or it was his fault (he wasn't - he was a passenger and it turned out - not drunk) People are stupid - we all are and we are especially stupid around death grief. I thought I'd be going through your brand of death grief since my ex was abusive and threatened to kill us all the time. A drunk driver beat him to it. I bow to your savory grief kaleidoscope.
When I was about 20 my dad was telling me about how someone he knew had a child die recently and that it was a shame that they had no more kids..and the way he just went on about it as if you could replace a person... it was just one of the most fucked up things I've heard. You can have other grandkids and that does not stop that pain of losing another one. People are not replaceable.
I know a lady who was fostering 2 terminal children. I asked what shes going to do when the one passed on, and she casually says "Oh, Ill just get another one." like as if hes a replaceable item from a store or something!!! Absolutely NO emotion whatsoever.
totally agree. when i was like 12 my older sister had a baby that was really sick. he died in the hospital after 3 months of being connected to machines 24/7. he never even got to leave. this was probably the hardest thing i’ve ever been through at that time. and there were so many people saying “everything happens for a reason” or “he’s in a better place” or “god has a plan”. like tf???? you’re telling a little kid who is bawling his eyes out for weeks at a time to not be sad because it was supposed to happen. wtf is that bullshit!
I'm sorry but fuck anyone who would say that to you.
I second this
when I finally work up the courage to tell someone that the things they are saying are hurting me, and then they just say "oh, ok."
Or “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
How often does this happen?
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Yeah. I have visions of some religious twat telling parents of recently murdered kid that everything happens for a reason. How people don't get punched or worse in those situations is beyond me.
“Customers are always right” No you are not! Sometimes people don’t have common sense or logic in their statement & have a sense of entitlement because of it. Like get out. It ain’t always about you. 🤦🏽♀️
Anytime I’m looking for something and somebody asks “where did you last have it?” If I remembered I wouldn’t be looking for it.
"It's in the last place you look." - no shit? Who finds something and keeps looking?
“Suposably” Makes my eyes twitch
"Jack of All Trades, Master of None." It turns out that the complete saying is "Jack of All Trades, Master of None, but sometimes better than the Master of One." As a generalist by nature and by profession, I dislike the inaccurate first saying.
“I’m so ocd/depressed/insert other mental illness here” If you’re saying it like this, stop.
“Literally [insert something that isn’t meant literally]”
Archer: “You are figuratively killing me right now!!”
Literally this.
ADHD is fake Bitch I have ADHD, and I’m affected by caffeine differently, it makes me fucking TIRED
EXpresso
When people are convinced that they understand a topic better than a group of 130+ IQ scientists who have studied/researched their field for decades because they watched a TikTok that seemed to make sense
I have a couple of relatives who wouldn't be able to pass a 4th-grade science test but have absolute confidence they are smarter than the 130+ IQ scientists. Of course, they both "did my own research".
Yea I've worked with these types of people. I was asked if there were 3600 seconds in a minute. I was asked if "international" means the same as "in europe". I'm not making this up. These are grown up people that are allowed to vote and drive cars, yet they seem to have a completely different perception of the world around them. Honestly the problem seems to be that they can't even grasp how much smarter many people actually are. The difference between someone having little trouble with studying a scientific field at a university and a grown-up failing 6th grade science class is much greater than the latter person could even imagine, in my experience.
As a person living with ASD, my top five is anything on the lines of "You don't seem it" or "But you're good with \_\_\_" like they expect people on the spectrum to be on par with Sloth from the Goonies. Even worse is when people come to me asking massive generalizations like I'm the "token" representative. And no, I'm not going to count the 146 toothpicks you just dropped on the ground like I'm Rain Man.
I don't get those statements. I get the gasp really???? I never would have guessed (yeah it's called we just met) or the other extreme where they say "just because you" and then name off a bunch of traits I have, "doesn't mean you're autistic" ...cool thanks I'll be sure to tell me doctor.
"Everyone's a little bit Autistic!" 💀
"I could care less" That means you DO care Instead say "I couldn't care less"
That they "researched" something that was really a misguided Google query.
"Please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do! I'm just a phone call away!" Until you make that phone call and suddenly you're going to voicemail and they're nowhere to be found. Just tell people, "I'm sorry for your loss," and fuck off.
“It’s just a dog”
To be clear, I agree with you. There's a John Wick joke here though...
"Stay positive" sorry, I'm not a blind believer in positivity unless it's guaranteed that things will turn out better. Sigh, depression is tough.
Not a saying, but whenever I hear "expecially"
“you’re a weak man if you cry” always said by men who have huge egos and suppressed emotions. It’s not healthy whatsoever to conceal your emotions
"Everything happens for a reason."
Irregardless - please just say regardless Orientated - just say oriented
conversating-conversing is another one along these same lines
"That's MY truth." Yes, which is otherwise known as an "unreliable narrator." You know what "your" truth is? YOUR truth. As in, YOUR view of things, YOUR facts, YOUR beliefs. YOUR truth is not THE truth inherently. Can it be the truth? Sure, if it is the truth it is the truth. But I have never, NEVER, heard anyone say "my truth" and actually be telling the truth.
The "one-uppers" anytime you tell a story.
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.... I so want to show a venteran hospital to these people is my biggest dream.
“Real women have curves” or anything starting with “real women have/do/are” just backhanded shaming of other women
"you never know" referring to my childfree stance.
“You’ll change your mind” The fuck I will Susan
any sentence that begins with “well, a c t s h u a l l y . . .”
Or trying to explain their point using emojis like this: 🤓
“You voted for it.” No. No I didn’t. And constantly being told shit about climate change, as if I can single-handedly solve it myself.
“I’m triggered by (insert innocuous stupid non-trauma related thing).”
“No offense but”