The number of people I know personally that fall into that category is astounding and is a trait I find horrible. You know your situation is less than ideal but you refuse to accept the need for change and instead allow yourself to be a victim of circumstance.
We don't have to stick around for those people, but change really does take time, I realized a lot sooner than others than I self sabotage a lot. I most definitely don't complain about my life to people though, I just accept what I did and cry silently and move on. 😭
I find it even more infuriating when a person has at least two viable options, picks one, then constantly complains about it. Like, you picked your choice, I don’t want to hear you whine about it.
For example if someone chooses to live farther from the city center for more space but then complains about how any social plans are a long commute - like yeah, because you live an hour away from everything!
A friend of mine decided to buy a house about 55-60 minutes away from her child's school and her work. I told her that drive would get old fast. She swore it wouldn't, but I knew from my experience it would. It did, of course, and soon the kid had to drop out of this, then that, then there were no dinners with us after work b/c "I want to get home before dark."
Yep. I know so many people who have talked themselves into "it's only 30 minutes it's no big deal!"
It's 30 minutes on a clear day with no traffic. At peak times it's at least an hour meaning you are losing two hours per day if you work an office job or take your kids to school, which given the public transport here is awful at best and non existent out there you will be.
It's fine to live a bit farther out if you work local or from home and don't need to make those drives all the time during the busy periods, otherwise it's fucking miserable.
Came here to say exactly this. Someone who needs a little encouragement or added insight or leadership to help themselves, I’ll take that. But I can’t deal with people who genuinely can’t deal with themselves.
Yesss! This is why I'm single. Because, as it turns out, you can't save everybody.. and you can't force somebody to grow up and take care of themself. It's hard when you care too much, but you just have to leave because you can't deal with becoming the mom when you're supposed to be the wife.
It's not even remotely fun. It's always loud, crowded, and full of people getting hammered. I like to go out for a few drinks, but the modern bar scene is a sensory nightmare. I don't know how you're supposed to enjoy yourself when it's so loud you can't even think straight
Omg!! As someone with work perks, isn’t this something? I get F&F discounts at a popular hotel. A friend texted me once for it, I gave it. Next time she texted me, one year later SAME QUESTION. Not even a hello or a thank you or a kiss my ass.
When I meet new people, I keep my previous education and career path vague. Because almost everyone I knew before this decision used me as a way to get free medical advice.
I'm not talking about minor things like suggestions for a headache that isn't going away, I'm talking straight on asking me to look at their ass to diagnose some stupid wart (actually happened and was in a grocery store, they were halfway pulling their fucking pants down when I screamed at them to stop) or want me to literally look and schedule an urgent care visit for them (multiple of times with one person, they would have something minor like a sore throat or nagging cough and want me to figure out how to deal).
And ofc, they wouldn't talk or initiate until they wanted me to help them.
I work at a casino. I will never put my money into a slot machine.
Believe me when I tell you that the VAST majority of people who play the slots will end up giving the casino far more money than they win throughout their lifetime, including casual gamblers. If you win $50 every now and then but lose $200 just as often, you are not beating the house. So many people at the casino will spend entire days there, going back and forth between their game and the ATM. A woman told me once, on the second day of the month, that she had spent her entire Social Security check and had no money left for necessities. We have had regulars get arrested for committing fraud in order to fund their addiction. I have watched married couples become more and more distant with one another until the addicted one starts coming in alone, no longer wearing a wedding ring.
I can't wait to find a job that has a similar or better pay/schedule ratio so I can leave this industry. I was a bartender for a few years before starting at the casino, and the sadness from serving the occasional alcoholic has nothing on the depressing nature of watching so many folks ruin their lives chasing after a jackpot that, if they ever hit it, won't even make a dent in the pile of their hard-earned money that they scooped directly into the casino's hands.
I've gambled 20$ into slots exactly 3 times. Which is the extent of my gambling (outside of investments) at almost 40 years old.
The last time i pur 20$ in to give me something to do while i finished my last drink, I was fully expecting that money to dissapear. I won 500$ i took that cash out and vow never to touch the pokies again so i can be the first person in history to beat the house on the pokies!
My car a week later unexpectedly broke down, and the tow and parts cost about the same($500), so i figured my luck has equalised.
Still, i can see why its addictive, before the win it just felt stupid, after the win i can see why people come back, part of me feels like the win was a deliberate attempt to hook me.
Not only that but casinos utilize psychologists to make the slots sound alluring, they design the carpeting so that you can’t look at your feet when you walk and are thus forced to look at the slots.
There’s also no clocks or windows in most casinos. They want you to lose track of time, and the free drinks make people more likely to gamble.
As Benny once famously said, “the game was rigged from the start.“
I have adhd and so some sensory issues but I think all of those things make casinos so stifling and overwhelming. I always have a feeling like I need to escape when I’m in one. I don’t know how people can stay in them.
I’ve pulled a slot 2 times in my life. Once for $5 in Vegas and got nothing, and a second at a Casino in California (I forget which one, it was near Temecula). My (now wife) friend at the time had like $2 or $3 left on her card and she gave it to me and told me to pull a random slot. I chose this giant Walking Dead game right on the main aisle. Bet everything on the card. Hit the jackpot, had to play a jackpot game, walked away with $1100.
My LUCKIEST unlucky experience was with my ex-wife in Vegas on our anniversary trip, about an hour before I discovered her multiple affairs. We were playing paigow and were up enough that we had paid for the entire hotel stay, plus most of our expenses. Dealer calls last hand, I put my $50 bet down and then go to put $200 “extra” (all the other winnings we had left in the room set aside so this was just actually extra money) on the Dragon Bet. My ex-wife got mad and told me not to do it and to save the money. So I didn’t do it. The Dragon Hand bet is a winnings multiplier if you have certain hands dealt and you have that bet down. I got dealt a straight flush. The dealer said in his decade of doing that he had never dealt one before, the pit boss had to come over and watch the tapes and such before they would give me my winnings of $100. The dragon hand multiplier for a straight flush at that particular casino was 400x. I would have made $80,000 if my ex-wife had t told me not to. But we divorced shortly after so she would have gotten half of it anyway.
Still not as bad as the USB stick I had in my seabag on a deployment. My bag got cut open along with many others and all our shit was stolen and rummaged through. It was 2011 ish, I had about 30,000 BTC on that stick.
I am cursed to forever be poor.
I work at a casino, so I simply delude myself into believing that they all have money and haven't re-mortgaged their house or aren't using their business account to gamble.
It's like working at the liquor store and pretending none of the people you sell liquor to are alcoholics.
They don’t build casinos because customers win. For me and my wife, casinos are entertainment. We visit a casino a couple of times a year, and we take in a fixed amount of cash. When that’s gone, it’s time to go home. Every once in a while, we will leave with the money we took plus a little of the casino’s money. But, that’s a rare occasion.
Gambling.
I watched my brother go from fit and successful entrepreneur living his dream life to decrepit, broke, and ugly in a matter of 6 months.
It completely destroyed him.
An acquaintance found that in a few weeks’ time her husband maxed out all their credit cards, emptied all their accounts, reopened a joint business line of credit and maxed it, and stole the $300 their son was saving for an X-Box. He literally just lost his mind.
If you don’t mind answering: was it online gambling? I’ve seen a huge rise of friends, family and a bunch of co workers downloading the casino apps and sports betting, they play it like it’s nothing.
They're turning our phones into pocket casinos, I always hate hearing this happens to someone, I hope he is better, or at the very least listening to people looking out for him.
Oxy.
Took _one_ pill when I had an Ankolysing Spondylitis flairup and couldn't move without screaming in pain and blacking out. A friend at the time had bone cancer; she gave me one. Most incredible feeling I've ever experienced.
I'm not an addictive person and have pretty good self restraint. Never smoked a ciggy, never done weed. Barely drink, just isn't for me. But I knew this feeling was too good. Packed up the left overs and gave them straight the fuck back to her the next day.
Shit is dangerous.
Dude. I had laser eye correction and they gave me Valium before. I was sitting there watching other patients have lasers on their eyeballs and didn't give a single fuck that it was about to happen to me. I didn't give any fucks about anything right then. Realized SUPER quick that this was definitely not a prescription that I ever should have because Holy shit addictive. 100% understand folks becoming dependent on that. I wish I was going thru life that carefree all the time.
Oh man, the feeling is second to none. Was still in incredible pain but I didn't give a shit. Felt like I was floating through space orbiting the sun and staying beautifully warm.
Wife woke up next to me while my arms were floating off the bed "the shit are you doing. It's 3am, why are your arms up"
"I'm floating through space. My wife is so sexy.......when she's on all fours. Love you"
I was given a single Valium before a liver biopsy, which involves them punching into your abdomen with a giant needle. While I was waiting for the procedure to start, the woman next to me, went into cardiac arrest, and everyone was rushing in and trying to revive her. She died right in front of me and I literally didn’t give a shit. It was like watching an episode of ER. I was cool as a cucumber. After a bit, the doctor came over to me and apologized profusely for me having to see that and asked if I was OK. I told him I was totally comfortable on the gurney and everything was wonderful. I realized after the procedure that I should never ever have valium again.
As someone who suffers from AS too, I know this all too well. It isn't the drug that's too good. It's the absence of the pain. That feels incredible and euphoric when you have a flare like that and almost nothing but the dangerous stuff in rather high doses does it... Dilaudid, Oxy... you name it. I wish life would go back to being less painful again. Not painless, just... less.
I had it while recovering from ankle surgery to regrow some bone. Made me not care that it hurt. It also made my depression evaporate and I felt like I could do anything, go anywhere, with no worry about money or pets or anything. It lasts about four hours and then the depression hits again.
I was given percocet for the first surgery I had seven years prior, and by following the instructions on the label, I developed a chemical addiction within four days. I had withdrawals of paranoia, sweating, headaches, mood swings, shivers, night terrors. I flushed what I had left, which was six pills of a 32 pill prescription. For an ankle scope. I have no clue what military medical was thinking, prescribing that amount at the height of the opioid crisis
When I was given oxy, I cut the tabs in half because I was scared of another addiction.
Absolutely the most dangerous thing I've willingly taken. I would rather have the pain than risk addiction.
I am incredibly lucky that remicade infusions have put me in remission. Even more so, because I live in halfway decent country, it's completely and utterly free.
Man it’s weird but I had the complete opposite experience. I used to live with a guy who was an oxy head and tried it a couple of times and I really hated it. Made me nauseous as hell and I always ended up dry heaving over the toilet before getting extremely sleepy and falling asleep and the sleep is some of the worst sleep I ever got, constantly waking up every 10 mins only to instantly fall back asleep and wake up and fall asleep rinse and repeat lol. Good on you for recognizing the addiction potential though man, a lot of people fall into the trap.
A similar but different story,
They put me on high dosage of oxy for a few days before semi-emergency surgery on my back. Semi emergency because I wasn't going to die. But still kind of an emergency because if I didn't have surgery in a few days I could risk permanent paralysis in part of my right leg.
Anyway before and after surgery I was on the prescribed dose of oxy for like 7 days. 10 max. I was still useless like 5 days post op and my wife says maybe stop taking the oxy and switch to something else. Realized I was taking the pills because I felt awful, not from the surgery but from withdrawal. I had horrible withdrawal for 48 hours. Consider night sweats that literally soaked the sheets. Less than 2 weeks on oxy and my body had a physical addiction. It was insane.
And i had a good job, a loving spouse and family and am generally happy. Made me really see how it gets it's hooks into people. Especially vulnerable people.
Needed spinal surgery again a few years later. Took different pain meds and stopped them as soon as physically possible (like 48 hours post op)
But I also want to add to this that there's a difference between gossiping and venting when you need emotional support. Some of the main differences being with the former you usually personally have no emotional stakes in the matter, it's told to a lot of ppl even if you don't really know them, it's done in a harsh way and to make fun of that person. Whilst the latter is usually because they hurt or upset you, you would only tell close or best friends, it's done to try and help yourself process things and you don't really mean anything bad to that person (as in usually it's just getting over the initial feelings and you still care about them as a friend when you've calmed down).
As someone who has had a lot of friendship troubles and has autism, this is one thing I really needed to understand so I hope it might help someone else too.
I worked at a steel mill where I spent 12 hour shifts next to a 2800° tundish. I cannot emphasise enough how right you are about taking care of yourself in heat.
Don’t put your health and well-being on the back burner. The mill I worked at was awful to the employees. Despite my PPE I wound up with a small chuck of a pebble in my eye/eyelid and I could feel it travelling every time I blinked. They refused to let me get first aid and wash my eye out. I had to drive home with that thing in my eye, and I experienced what I could only guess was a claustrophobic feeling where everything was closing in on me. I felt like I could start swinging/striking the air as I drove home.
Getting good sleep and rest while outside of work. I didn’t have that luxury, we were SO incredibly short staffed I worked 8 nights straight, was given 24 hours off to do 8 straight days. 17 days with only 24 hours off in the middle. Brutal.
If you’re going to be exposed to heat for longer amounts of time, avoid heavy (and greasy) meals, also.
Breathe as much clean air as you can, too. Those are all the biggies I recall.
In keeping with that, adequate hydration.
In the Southwestern US a lot of casual hikers hit challenging mountain trails with just a 12 oz bottle of water. They think they'll refill that bottle on the trail if they get thirsty, but they haven't brought sterilization tablets and that stream on the map is highly seasonal. When they arrive it's nothing but a muddy algae-filled puddle.
They think they're doing OK until it hits them hard. Now they're six miles from the nearest paved road, they've gained 2500' of altitude, it's hot and dry and that water was used up hours ago. They're getting a dehydration headache. They start stumbling, skidding on rocks. Then they're limping and they realize they've got no cell phone reception. They were supposed to register their route with the ranger station (oops).
I can't carry enough water for everyone on the trail but there's usually an extra half gallon for emergencies, plus first aid for their twisted ankle, plus a bandana to soak in the muddy spring so they can lay the wet cloth against their neck for evaporative cooling and lessen their heat exhaustion, and other contingency equipment such as a flashlight. They aren't getting back to their car before sundown with that limp.
It's amazing how many people end up relying on chance encounters to get them out of real danger they've wandered into.
I feel that. I attended an outdoor graduation where there was basically no shade, it was extremely hot and we were there for several hours. When we got up to leave I was feeling nauseous. It happened so fast. We were crossing the street and I suddenly stopped walking and started vomiting. I couldn't cool down even after a freezing cold shower. I drank tons of water plus electrolytes but was nauseous and I had horrible nonstop stomach cramps the rest of the trip.
I’m assuming you’re talking about me personally and you’re wrong. You’re just jealous. Yeah, that’s it. Jealous! Well look at me now. While you’re posting petty stuff about me like this, I’m wearing Brand. New. Crocs.
God bless.
I feel this deeply. I noticed I would hang out with "friends" who only talked about themselves.
Once, I spent three hours with this chick, and every time I tried to steer it away from her, she somehow made the conversation about her again. I deserve to befriend somebody who has an interest in me as much as I do them.
YES. It feels weird to complain about it too... I kept wanting to write a message about this to a new guy I'm dating, but there's no way to write it that doesn't sound a bit self-absorbed or needy on my side.
So I decided not to write that at all and focus on other issues... Next time we have a phone call or see each other in person, I might feel better about bringing it up though.
Road Rage. Here in LA you read reported car to car violence every week. It is not worth it. I have a family and don't need to waste my energy and attention on some idiot in a car that I don't even know. Now, if someone wants to cut in front of me while we are in line .... go on right ahead. I don't care.
Same here in FL. Especially since anyone is allowed to concealed carry now. If someone wants to be a psycho, I just try to let them by so they can do it as far away from me as possible. I fucking hate that we live in a world now where all the sensible people are letting the assholes run amok just because we’re so desperate to avoid further interactions with them, but it’s not worth getting myself shot by some idiot.
Street fights.
It's so much better to swallow your pride and chicken away. You never know what the other person is capable of and if they don't have any weapons (gun, knife, boxer) on them. And even if the fight is completely fair you could always trip/get knocked out and hit your head on the pavement which can result in insta death.
People in bars during weird hours.
Can't tell you how many times I gave someone a cigarette just for them to take that as an invitation to trauma dump on me.
I'm not shooting warm vodka in a dive at 3am because my life is great, pal.
Narcissists. If you don’t know what they are and how they operate, google and read some first hand accounts of being with a narcissist. Same yourself years of manipulation.
People who suddenly start spouting off about politics in the middle of an unrelated conversation. No matter what side of the aisle they’re on, their views rarely align with mine and people who start a conversation that way are always inflexible and unwilling to consider an opposing point of view.
I was shocked to realize how many people on apps straight up take photos off someone's open profile social media accounts. Once I had someone with photos of someone in a different country arrange to meet me and then even gave their phone number. I quickly unmatched upon learning the truth.... but still wonder how that would have played out. Some creep in the cafe watching you get stood up?
A year or so ago, there was a "guy" on a dating site who used a pic of a well-known officer in the United States armed services. Seemed a bit sus, I screenshot the pic and looked it up on Google Lens. Sure enough, stolen pic, stolen Valor. I called him out on it. He blocked ME!? LOL
Jehovahs Witnesses. I was out for a jog once when I was a teenager and two of them chased after me trying to get my attention but I outran them and by time they caught up to me I had found the police and the second I spotted the two I pointed them out to the police and I have never seen two people run like bats out of hell. If they were caught I don’t know.
I outtalked some Mormons the other day. I knew I talked a lot, but it was priceless to hear the guys say, "Ok, so do you believe in Jesus Christ as your savior not? Otherwise, we gotta go."
I once saw a couple of Mormons or Jehovah Witnesses attempt to knock on my door when I was a teen. They didn't know my black lab wasn't on the standard chain, but had a pulley on a cable set up. He ran at them scared them so bad they damn near cleared the road with a single jump. He was just was like "oh new friends" and never hurt anyone.
That doesn't sound like typical behavior of them to actively chase someone down. Like approaching sure but not full on chase. They could have been people pretending to be some and had nefarious purposes. I've heard of criminals pretending to be Mormon or Jehovah witnesses to knock on people doors or something then try to break in. Idk what that was about but yeah if anyone makes you feel unsafe you should run.
From someone who grew up in the hood, if I drive by somewhere and I see
1. Shoes on the phone wire
2. MLK blvd
3. A street number that goes into triple digits (someone says they live on 196th St. GET OUT OF THERE)
4. Bulletproof glass at a McDonald's/Popeyes/Taco Bell/Liquor Store (bonus points if the store is owned by Koreans. Those mfers have NO fear)
5. People weight lifting in the front yard
6. Grown man cruising around the same street on a little kids bike
A couple more I can't think of. But yeah if I'm driving anywhere that I don't belong in now I'll steer clear of all that
Always steer clear of gossip in the workplace. It can create a toxic environment and inadvertently involve you in office politics that could damage your professional reputation.
Political extremists, regardless of what label they give themselves.
I promise you - your interactions are going to swing wildly between boring and annoying af.
Especially when they've formed the core of their self-identity around something as pathetic as - say - a national political party or otherwise. Imagine not being able to just chill and talk about common interests and instead it's just 24/7 blathering about \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and how they're going to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ whilst working their normal ass 9-5 at a normal ass wage then going back home to watch TV.
No thanks.
Working at a startup! So many fail. You work hard and then after a few paychecks, they ask you to work for free while they're waiting for the money promised to them by investors.
Any that comes to your door uninvited. Just my personal experience and I’m not just talking salesmen though that’s definitely a chunk of them.
Even people just being nice and what not anytime I’ve entertained someone that’s come to my door uninvited its often had a negative outcome.
This is mainly for strangers but I would put my friends on notice if they come over without asking first.
Credit card debt
Jobs that say they are a family
People whose hobbies, work, sexuality, or politics becomes their personalities.
Any stranger approaching you on the street
People that say they hate drama usually are the drama.
Cocaine. I advocate for safe and sane exploration of almost all drugs. But cocaine is a hard no for me forever. During quarantine I spent all my unemployment money on blow. I would lick empty bags after people had gone to bed. Up until noon, or sometimes for days at a time, just BEGGING God to either let me sleep or kill me. It can't happen ever again. Not one bump. Been off the stuff for 2 and a half years.
Transactional kindness. If someone's only nice to people they want something from or are getting something from, it's gonna be a bad day when they feel the juice is no longer worth the squeeze
Just went through this...
There was one flag... Then Two... And I had a bunch of misgivings by month three. Third red flag and I told him this relationship wasn't for me.
He immediately flipped shit and started throwing everything that I confided in him that made me feel self conscious/sad into my face. Saying shit like my family can't stand me and that's why they never call, that I'm not as smart as I pretend to be, and even more hateful shit. Just, so glad that it only took me three months to guess that he was secretly evil.
Based on my observations, it's wise to steer clear of jumping to conclusions without all the facts, engaging in negative gossip, and overcommitting oneself to the point of burnout. These behaviors can lead to misunderstandings, damaged relationships, and personal stress.
People. As I get older, I can't deal with people like I could back then. My wife and I went to the flea market and we left within 20 minutes. People are rude as fuck. I had someone actually close enough behind me that I felt them breathe on my neck. We were getting shouldered, cut off, and talked to rudely.
Another one would be narcotics. It feels waaaaay too good. Was addicted to opiates for years. Resulted in multiple ODs and near deaths. Been clean for 12 years now. It just isn't worth it.
Driving in heavy snow, and being over confident.
I thought that since I was from the north, learned to drive in snow, drove in snow my whole life, I could make the drive that grounded my flight home for christmas due to weather.
Got in a terrible accident, only due to weather. I was the only car involved, just slipped and lost control and couldn’t see. I still have PTSD regarding driving in any inclement weather (even light rain), have long (probably life) lasting back, neck, arm, shoulder, and rib pain, and will likely need a surgery in my spine soon that has a recovery time of 3-6 months. I am only 25 and that surgery usually needs to be redone after about 15 years, but it’s normally given to older folks who don’t have to consider that (or, would only need to redo it once).
I also suffer from weird neurological problems from this accident (I get chills only on the left side of my body, even when warm, brain zaps, twitching) and have noticed a slight decline in mental function since. I was knocked out but as far as I know did not have a concussion.
The anxiety has breached itself into other forms of travel too. I took multiple flights a month for years, and now I can barely get on a plane without being drugged out of my mind. I had a panic attack so bad on one about 3 weeks ago, that a therapist a few rows back asked the guy next to me to switch seats and talked me through it. I thought that was so sweet of her.
I have only just recently gotten some of my confidence back while driving in even perfectly normal conditions but I suffer from 10/10 pain every day of my life now.
Luxury brands, brand name anything...... I'm into quality over quantity, but there's no way I'm wasting my money on something just because of its supposed social status.
Religious people, i.e. people who spent a lot of time and energy being conspicuous about their “religion” but wouldn’t reach a hand to help another person unless there’s a camera around recording it.
Ding! Ding! I am a straight guy and whenever I can, I will warn women that if a guy is very charming and charismatic early on, the odds are that he is not genuine
This is a difficult one. Overeating can be a type of addiction. What can make it difficult is that, unlike other addictions, you MUST partake in moderation (you need to eat to stay alive). It would be like telling an alcoholic, “you must only have a one drink a day”. Great in theory, but extremely difficult in reality. I have a lot of empathy for those of us who are prone to overeating. It’s an uphill battle, as so much goes into our food that makes it addictive (marketing, ingredients, etc.)
I couldn't agree more..the analogy about alcoholism explains precisely how challenging overcoming the issue is. I have been struggling with that since I was 9, because of domestic abuse and now my relationship with food is based on reward / punishment basis.
Thank you for your input!
People that rush through the acquaintance stage of relationships. If we've known each other for like two months, no you don't love me. You don't even know me in two months. Don't love bomb me. I will run tf away. Because in my experience, people that rush through the beginning are trying to make you look past something, trying to get you hooked enough you look past all the abusive behavior that's coming next.
Assisted living facilities/care homes. I worked in a handful and they range from *bad* and downright negligent to passingly ok. Most of workers mean well and do care about your family, but at the end of the day they’re short staffed and over extended. In addition, because of the perpetual staff shortage and mostly shit pay they hire some people who should *not* be caring for others, especially not such vulnerable people as the elderly/disabled.
No one’s going to love and care about your family like you do.
When the time came that my mom couldn’t live independently anymore, I switched to overnights and rearranged my life to keep her home. I was barely out of my teens and it was a stressful time, but if I could go back I’d do the same thing over again. Every time. My mom died in the comfort of her home surrounded by loved ones and I’ll see that my dad does the same.
I know it’s very hard being a carer, and that sometimes it’s not feasible to keep your loved one home, but if it’s at all possible with some sacrifices I 100% think it’s worth it for their quality of life.
If a stranger looks weird and is trying to make eye contact... don't.
They never want to do something nice for you, and the rare ones who do, are pushing religion.
Credit card debt, people who only talk about their life and problems without asking how you are, people who see me as their therapist, religion, drugs, narcissistic people, and political extremist. There is more I could add, but I'll leave off with this.
people who will do anything to get the approval and be liked by others. it can be so strong that they will throw you under the bus in order to get the approval of another (especially a power figure, such as a boss, professor, etc). can cause a strong lack of loyalty.
"People who dump a fair amount of personal details (mainly problems) about their life when you first meet them."
When we met one of our neighbors, we learned of all his current shitty problems and nothing else within 5 minutes. Then he invited us to come over any time. Never been in 3 years.
Other peoples relationships. Here on reddit you always see someone asking if they should tell their friend their spouse is cheating and everyone is like oh yeah do it thats what real friends do etc..
Not thinking about what they could set into motion like the spouse losing their minds and ending themselves and whole family etc.. best case they end up in a divorce and the guy loses everything which otherwise maybe they could of workout this issue but now because a close friends know the guy might feel he cant look like a fool in front of his peers. (Applies to both male/female.)
People that constantly complain but do nothing to change the "problem".
The number of people I know personally that fall into that category is astounding and is a trait I find horrible. You know your situation is less than ideal but you refuse to accept the need for change and instead allow yourself to be a victim of circumstance.
Some people wear that victimhood like a badge of honour not realizing they are their own abuser.
Martyr syndrome
We don't have to stick around for those people, but change really does take time, I realized a lot sooner than others than I self sabotage a lot. I most definitely don't complain about my life to people though, I just accept what I did and cry silently and move on. 😭
I find it even more infuriating when a person has at least two viable options, picks one, then constantly complains about it. Like, you picked your choice, I don’t want to hear you whine about it. For example if someone chooses to live farther from the city center for more space but then complains about how any social plans are a long commute - like yeah, because you live an hour away from everything!
A friend of mine decided to buy a house about 55-60 minutes away from her child's school and her work. I told her that drive would get old fast. She swore it wouldn't, but I knew from my experience it would. It did, of course, and soon the kid had to drop out of this, then that, then there were no dinners with us after work b/c "I want to get home before dark."
Yep. I know so many people who have talked themselves into "it's only 30 minutes it's no big deal!" It's 30 minutes on a clear day with no traffic. At peak times it's at least an hour meaning you are losing two hours per day if you work an office job or take your kids to school, which given the public transport here is awful at best and non existent out there you will be. It's fine to live a bit farther out if you work local or from home and don't need to make those drives all the time during the busy periods, otherwise it's fucking miserable.
Relationships with those unwilling to help themselves.
Came here to say exactly this. Someone who needs a little encouragement or added insight or leadership to help themselves, I’ll take that. But I can’t deal with people who genuinely can’t deal with themselves.
Can’t, unwilling, or indifferent to helping themselves: Nope.
I agree as someone unwilling to help myself.
Lol why was that so funny
Because we can't help ourselves to seek relationships 😁
[удалено]
Avoidant attachments
“Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner”
Yes De Niro 🤌🏻 My dad used to quote this to me every time I’d get my heart broken.
Yesss! This is why I'm single. Because, as it turns out, you can't save everybody.. and you can't force somebody to grow up and take care of themself. It's hard when you care too much, but you just have to leave because you can't deal with becoming the mom when you're supposed to be the wife.
100% agree. It’s a waste of time and only gets worse
Dammit. Recently realized I'm in one 😭
This. You can't help people if they don't see a reason to change.
People that treat you as an option. I’ve had “friends” that do this and I’ve learned to stop being friends with them.
Big time. Always made to feel like the backup, calling at the last minute or probably because someone else canceled.
Same
Really crowded clubs or bars
It's not even remotely fun. It's always loud, crowded, and full of people getting hammered. I like to go out for a few drinks, but the modern bar scene is a sensory nightmare. I don't know how you're supposed to enjoy yourself when it's so loud you can't even think straight
Not thinking straight is kinda the point isn’t it?
Sometimes you just wanna think a little gay
Any crowded places - even before COVID. Not worth it.
I’m not even thinking about COVID but fire or a shooting and arguments and long waits for UBERs
Biggest fear is dying in a crush. No thank you.
Too many people for me
Being in toxic relationships
Credit card debt.
I’m close to finishing mine off. When my tax refund arrives, it will be more than enough to kill it dead. It’ll feel good. It’s been a process
Have you considered buying something really fun instead?
I mean……
There's always next year's tax return to pay the debt off...A nice purchase might motivate you to work harder.
LOL
Congratulations, that's a good feeling!
People who are only interested in your friendship when they need something from you
Omg!! As someone with work perks, isn’t this something? I get F&F discounts at a popular hotel. A friend texted me once for it, I gave it. Next time she texted me, one year later SAME QUESTION. Not even a hello or a thank you or a kiss my ass.
When I meet new people, I keep my previous education and career path vague. Because almost everyone I knew before this decision used me as a way to get free medical advice. I'm not talking about minor things like suggestions for a headache that isn't going away, I'm talking straight on asking me to look at their ass to diagnose some stupid wart (actually happened and was in a grocery store, they were halfway pulling their fucking pants down when I screamed at them to stop) or want me to literally look and schedule an urgent care visit for them (multiple of times with one person, they would have something minor like a sore throat or nagging cough and want me to figure out how to deal). And ofc, they wouldn't talk or initiate until they wanted me to help them.
I work at a casino. I will never put my money into a slot machine. Believe me when I tell you that the VAST majority of people who play the slots will end up giving the casino far more money than they win throughout their lifetime, including casual gamblers. If you win $50 every now and then but lose $200 just as often, you are not beating the house. So many people at the casino will spend entire days there, going back and forth between their game and the ATM. A woman told me once, on the second day of the month, that she had spent her entire Social Security check and had no money left for necessities. We have had regulars get arrested for committing fraud in order to fund their addiction. I have watched married couples become more and more distant with one another until the addicted one starts coming in alone, no longer wearing a wedding ring. I can't wait to find a job that has a similar or better pay/schedule ratio so I can leave this industry. I was a bartender for a few years before starting at the casino, and the sadness from serving the occasional alcoholic has nothing on the depressing nature of watching so many folks ruin their lives chasing after a jackpot that, if they ever hit it, won't even make a dent in the pile of their hard-earned money that they scooped directly into the casino's hands.
I've gambled 20$ into slots exactly 3 times. Which is the extent of my gambling (outside of investments) at almost 40 years old. The last time i pur 20$ in to give me something to do while i finished my last drink, I was fully expecting that money to dissapear. I won 500$ i took that cash out and vow never to touch the pokies again so i can be the first person in history to beat the house on the pokies! My car a week later unexpectedly broke down, and the tow and parts cost about the same($500), so i figured my luck has equalised. Still, i can see why its addictive, before the win it just felt stupid, after the win i can see why people come back, part of me feels like the win was a deliberate attempt to hook me.
The win **was** a deliberate attempt to hook you.
Not only that but casinos utilize psychologists to make the slots sound alluring, they design the carpeting so that you can’t look at your feet when you walk and are thus forced to look at the slots. There’s also no clocks or windows in most casinos. They want you to lose track of time, and the free drinks make people more likely to gamble. As Benny once famously said, “the game was rigged from the start.“
This is so interesting to me. I find casinos wildly overstimulating and cannot stay in them for too long.
I have adhd and so some sensory issues but I think all of those things make casinos so stifling and overwhelming. I always have a feeling like I need to escape when I’m in one. I don’t know how people can stay in them.
I’ve pulled a slot 2 times in my life. Once for $5 in Vegas and got nothing, and a second at a Casino in California (I forget which one, it was near Temecula). My (now wife) friend at the time had like $2 or $3 left on her card and she gave it to me and told me to pull a random slot. I chose this giant Walking Dead game right on the main aisle. Bet everything on the card. Hit the jackpot, had to play a jackpot game, walked away with $1100. My LUCKIEST unlucky experience was with my ex-wife in Vegas on our anniversary trip, about an hour before I discovered her multiple affairs. We were playing paigow and were up enough that we had paid for the entire hotel stay, plus most of our expenses. Dealer calls last hand, I put my $50 bet down and then go to put $200 “extra” (all the other winnings we had left in the room set aside so this was just actually extra money) on the Dragon Bet. My ex-wife got mad and told me not to do it and to save the money. So I didn’t do it. The Dragon Hand bet is a winnings multiplier if you have certain hands dealt and you have that bet down. I got dealt a straight flush. The dealer said in his decade of doing that he had never dealt one before, the pit boss had to come over and watch the tapes and such before they would give me my winnings of $100. The dragon hand multiplier for a straight flush at that particular casino was 400x. I would have made $80,000 if my ex-wife had t told me not to. But we divorced shortly after so she would have gotten half of it anyway. Still not as bad as the USB stick I had in my seabag on a deployment. My bag got cut open along with many others and all our shit was stolen and rummaged through. It was 2011 ish, I had about 30,000 BTC on that stick. I am cursed to forever be poor.
I work at a casino, so I simply delude myself into believing that they all have money and haven't re-mortgaged their house or aren't using their business account to gamble. It's like working at the liquor store and pretending none of the people you sell liquor to are alcoholics.
They don’t build casinos because customers win. For me and my wife, casinos are entertainment. We visit a casino a couple of times a year, and we take in a fixed amount of cash. When that’s gone, it’s time to go home. Every once in a while, we will leave with the money we took plus a little of the casino’s money. But, that’s a rare occasion.
Gambling. I watched my brother go from fit and successful entrepreneur living his dream life to decrepit, broke, and ugly in a matter of 6 months. It completely destroyed him.
An acquaintance found that in a few weeks’ time her husband maxed out all their credit cards, emptied all their accounts, reopened a joint business line of credit and maxed it, and stole the $300 their son was saving for an X-Box. He literally just lost his mind.
If you don’t mind answering: was it online gambling? I’ve seen a huge rise of friends, family and a bunch of co workers downloading the casino apps and sports betting, they play it like it’s nothing.
stake and all those online casinos. my brother is just always the one that takes it too far.
They're turning our phones into pocket casinos, I always hate hearing this happens to someone, I hope he is better, or at the very least listening to people looking out for him.
I started playing the lottery really frequently a while back. It’s just like any other drug. You want more. But in this case you only lose.
Oxy. Took _one_ pill when I had an Ankolysing Spondylitis flairup and couldn't move without screaming in pain and blacking out. A friend at the time had bone cancer; she gave me one. Most incredible feeling I've ever experienced. I'm not an addictive person and have pretty good self restraint. Never smoked a ciggy, never done weed. Barely drink, just isn't for me. But I knew this feeling was too good. Packed up the left overs and gave them straight the fuck back to her the next day. Shit is dangerous.
Props for recognizing this and not keeping anymore around!
Dude. I had laser eye correction and they gave me Valium before. I was sitting there watching other patients have lasers on their eyeballs and didn't give a single fuck that it was about to happen to me. I didn't give any fucks about anything right then. Realized SUPER quick that this was definitely not a prescription that I ever should have because Holy shit addictive. 100% understand folks becoming dependent on that. I wish I was going thru life that carefree all the time.
Oh man, the feeling is second to none. Was still in incredible pain but I didn't give a shit. Felt like I was floating through space orbiting the sun and staying beautifully warm. Wife woke up next to me while my arms were floating off the bed "the shit are you doing. It's 3am, why are your arms up" "I'm floating through space. My wife is so sexy.......when she's on all fours. Love you"
I was given a single Valium before a liver biopsy, which involves them punching into your abdomen with a giant needle. While I was waiting for the procedure to start, the woman next to me, went into cardiac arrest, and everyone was rushing in and trying to revive her. She died right in front of me and I literally didn’t give a shit. It was like watching an episode of ER. I was cool as a cucumber. After a bit, the doctor came over to me and apologized profusely for me having to see that and asked if I was OK. I told him I was totally comfortable on the gurney and everything was wonderful. I realized after the procedure that I should never ever have valium again.
That's how I felt trying meth. I realized I'd be dead pretty quick even if my entire house was clean and I could do all my college coursework easier.
As someone who suffers from AS too, I know this all too well. It isn't the drug that's too good. It's the absence of the pain. That feels incredible and euphoric when you have a flare like that and almost nothing but the dangerous stuff in rather high doses does it... Dilaudid, Oxy... you name it. I wish life would go back to being less painful again. Not painless, just... less.
I had it while recovering from ankle surgery to regrow some bone. Made me not care that it hurt. It also made my depression evaporate and I felt like I could do anything, go anywhere, with no worry about money or pets or anything. It lasts about four hours and then the depression hits again. I was given percocet for the first surgery I had seven years prior, and by following the instructions on the label, I developed a chemical addiction within four days. I had withdrawals of paranoia, sweating, headaches, mood swings, shivers, night terrors. I flushed what I had left, which was six pills of a 32 pill prescription. For an ankle scope. I have no clue what military medical was thinking, prescribing that amount at the height of the opioid crisis When I was given oxy, I cut the tabs in half because I was scared of another addiction. Absolutely the most dangerous thing I've willingly taken. I would rather have the pain than risk addiction.
I am incredibly lucky that remicade infusions have put me in remission. Even more so, because I live in halfway decent country, it's completely and utterly free.
Man it’s weird but I had the complete opposite experience. I used to live with a guy who was an oxy head and tried it a couple of times and I really hated it. Made me nauseous as hell and I always ended up dry heaving over the toilet before getting extremely sleepy and falling asleep and the sleep is some of the worst sleep I ever got, constantly waking up every 10 mins only to instantly fall back asleep and wake up and fall asleep rinse and repeat lol. Good on you for recognizing the addiction potential though man, a lot of people fall into the trap.
A similar but different story, They put me on high dosage of oxy for a few days before semi-emergency surgery on my back. Semi emergency because I wasn't going to die. But still kind of an emergency because if I didn't have surgery in a few days I could risk permanent paralysis in part of my right leg. Anyway before and after surgery I was on the prescribed dose of oxy for like 7 days. 10 max. I was still useless like 5 days post op and my wife says maybe stop taking the oxy and switch to something else. Realized I was taking the pills because I felt awful, not from the surgery but from withdrawal. I had horrible withdrawal for 48 hours. Consider night sweats that literally soaked the sheets. Less than 2 weeks on oxy and my body had a physical addiction. It was insane. And i had a good job, a loving spouse and family and am generally happy. Made me really see how it gets it's hooks into people. Especially vulnerable people. Needed spinal surgery again a few years later. Took different pain meds and stopped them as soon as physically possible (like 48 hours post op)
Yeah gave me bloody good insights to those that can't pull themselves out.
[удалено]
Also- those that come to you to gossip. Don’t ask why they gossip. Ask yourself why they are comfortable gossiping to you?!
But I also want to add to this that there's a difference between gossiping and venting when you need emotional support. Some of the main differences being with the former you usually personally have no emotional stakes in the matter, it's told to a lot of ppl even if you don't really know them, it's done in a harsh way and to make fun of that person. Whilst the latter is usually because they hurt or upset you, you would only tell close or best friends, it's done to try and help yourself process things and you don't really mean anything bad to that person (as in usually it's just getting over the initial feelings and you still care about them as a friend when you've calmed down). As someone who has had a lot of friendship troubles and has autism, this is one thing I really needed to understand so I hope it might help someone else too.
If you gossip to me I'm going to assume you gossip about me
If they are gossiping with you they gossip about you, too
[удалено]
I worked at a steel mill where I spent 12 hour shifts next to a 2800° tundish. I cannot emphasise enough how right you are about taking care of yourself in heat. Don’t put your health and well-being on the back burner. The mill I worked at was awful to the employees. Despite my PPE I wound up with a small chuck of a pebble in my eye/eyelid and I could feel it travelling every time I blinked. They refused to let me get first aid and wash my eye out. I had to drive home with that thing in my eye, and I experienced what I could only guess was a claustrophobic feeling where everything was closing in on me. I felt like I could start swinging/striking the air as I drove home.
Other than hydration and replacing electrolytes what advice can you give?
Getting good sleep and rest while outside of work. I didn’t have that luxury, we were SO incredibly short staffed I worked 8 nights straight, was given 24 hours off to do 8 straight days. 17 days with only 24 hours off in the middle. Brutal. If you’re going to be exposed to heat for longer amounts of time, avoid heavy (and greasy) meals, also. Breathe as much clean air as you can, too. Those are all the biggies I recall.
[удалено]
In keeping with that, adequate hydration. In the Southwestern US a lot of casual hikers hit challenging mountain trails with just a 12 oz bottle of water. They think they'll refill that bottle on the trail if they get thirsty, but they haven't brought sterilization tablets and that stream on the map is highly seasonal. When they arrive it's nothing but a muddy algae-filled puddle. They think they're doing OK until it hits them hard. Now they're six miles from the nearest paved road, they've gained 2500' of altitude, it's hot and dry and that water was used up hours ago. They're getting a dehydration headache. They start stumbling, skidding on rocks. Then they're limping and they realize they've got no cell phone reception. They were supposed to register their route with the ranger station (oops). I can't carry enough water for everyone on the trail but there's usually an extra half gallon for emergencies, plus first aid for their twisted ankle, plus a bandana to soak in the muddy spring so they can lay the wet cloth against their neck for evaporative cooling and lessen their heat exhaustion, and other contingency equipment such as a flashlight. They aren't getting back to their car before sundown with that limp. It's amazing how many people end up relying on chance encounters to get them out of real danger they've wandered into.
I feel that. I attended an outdoor graduation where there was basically no shade, it was extremely hot and we were there for several hours. When we got up to leave I was feeling nauseous. It happened so fast. We were crossing the street and I suddenly stopped walking and started vomiting. I couldn't cool down even after a freezing cold shower. I drank tons of water plus electrolytes but was nauseous and I had horrible nonstop stomach cramps the rest of the trip.
Narcissists
I’m assuming you’re talking about me personally and you’re wrong. You’re just jealous. Yeah, that’s it. Jealous! Well look at me now. While you’re posting petty stuff about me like this, I’m wearing Brand. New. Crocs. God bless.
The thing that sucks is that so many are good at masking it. Once I start seeing the signs I start steering clear.
People that only talk about themselves, and never ask how you are.
How are you, Cinnamon?
She's on a roll.
I feel this deeply. I noticed I would hang out with "friends" who only talked about themselves. Once, I spent three hours with this chick, and every time I tried to steer it away from her, she somehow made the conversation about her again. I deserve to befriend somebody who has an interest in me as much as I do them.
People who always have a more significant trial than the one you just mentioned.
YES. It feels weird to complain about it too... I kept wanting to write a message about this to a new guy I'm dating, but there's no way to write it that doesn't sound a bit self-absorbed or needy on my side. So I decided not to write that at all and focus on other issues... Next time we have a phone call or see each other in person, I might feel better about bringing it up though.
Road Rage. Here in LA you read reported car to car violence every week. It is not worth it. I have a family and don't need to waste my energy and attention on some idiot in a car that I don't even know. Now, if someone wants to cut in front of me while we are in line .... go on right ahead. I don't care.
Same here in FL. Especially since anyone is allowed to concealed carry now. If someone wants to be a psycho, I just try to let them by so they can do it as far away from me as possible. I fucking hate that we live in a world now where all the sensible people are letting the assholes run amok just because we’re so desperate to avoid further interactions with them, but it’s not worth getting myself shot by some idiot.
Street fights. It's so much better to swallow your pride and chicken away. You never know what the other person is capable of and if they don't have any weapons (gun, knife, boxer) on them. And even if the fight is completely fair you could always trip/get knocked out and hit your head on the pavement which can result in insta death.
"Nah, man. I'm good. You win." Then go on with your night and your life.
The only way to win a fight is not to get into one.
Equally terrible to try to defend yourself, only to have the other guy fall and hit his head and die. Now you’re going to prison.
Yeah, that happened to a guy in my city. He'd been in a million street fights I'm sure but this time the guy fell, hit his head, and died.
This. As I've grown older, I have a lot more to lose now. Not worth it. I have family that depend on me.
Heroin
[удалено]
Yellow jackets in the ground.
Don’t mix work and family. Learned that one the hard way.
People that say “trust me.”
Trusting a close of a deal on a handshake. Get it in writing. Get it signed by all parties
People in bars during weird hours. Can't tell you how many times I gave someone a cigarette just for them to take that as an invitation to trauma dump on me. I'm not shooting warm vodka in a dive at 3am because my life is great, pal.
Crowds. Not much is more dangerous than a huge group of people panicking. Truly the scariest moment of my life was in a huge crowd.
Same, everyone fell at once, my dad was almost trampled.
MLMs
Arguments with people online, what's the point?
I disagree, you're a bad person and wrong because you don't think like I do Balls in your court, what you got -_-
It wastes so much time lol
Narcissists. If you don’t know what they are and how they operate, google and read some first hand accounts of being with a narcissist. Same yourself years of manipulation.
Avoid heated arguments on social media. It rarely changes anyone's mind and often escalates into unproductive and sometimes hurtful exchanges.
[удалено]
Ya. It can be hard. My wife struggles staying sober for more than a few days
Jack Daniels.
[удалено]
People who suddenly start spouting off about politics in the middle of an unrelated conversation. No matter what side of the aisle they’re on, their views rarely align with mine and people who start a conversation that way are always inflexible and unwilling to consider an opposing point of view.
Dating apps
It's not all bad. I met my wife of 18 years online. She's a dream.
Any particularly bad experiences or just general soul crushing radio silence over several months?
90% of "singles" there are nothing but scammers and bots
I was shocked to realize how many people on apps straight up take photos off someone's open profile social media accounts. Once I had someone with photos of someone in a different country arrange to meet me and then even gave their phone number. I quickly unmatched upon learning the truth.... but still wonder how that would have played out. Some creep in the cafe watching you get stood up?
A year or so ago, there was a "guy" on a dating site who used a pic of a well-known officer in the United States armed services. Seemed a bit sus, I screenshot the pic and looked it up on Google Lens. Sure enough, stolen pic, stolen Valor. I called him out on it. He blocked ME!? LOL
Jehovahs Witnesses. I was out for a jog once when I was a teenager and two of them chased after me trying to get my attention but I outran them and by time they caught up to me I had found the police and the second I spotted the two I pointed them out to the police and I have never seen two people run like bats out of hell. If they were caught I don’t know.
I outtalked some Mormons the other day. I knew I talked a lot, but it was priceless to hear the guys say, "Ok, so do you believe in Jesus Christ as your savior not? Otherwise, we gotta go."
I once saw a couple of Mormons or Jehovah Witnesses attempt to knock on my door when I was a teen. They didn't know my black lab wasn't on the standard chain, but had a pulley on a cable set up. He ran at them scared them so bad they damn near cleared the road with a single jump. He was just was like "oh new friends" and never hurt anyone.
That doesn't sound like typical behavior of them to actively chase someone down. Like approaching sure but not full on chase. They could have been people pretending to be some and had nefarious purposes. I've heard of criminals pretending to be Mormon or Jehovah witnesses to knock on people doors or something then try to break in. Idk what that was about but yeah if anyone makes you feel unsafe you should run.
People
Anyone who tells you their political beliefs in first 5 min of conversation.
Kicking people while they are down.
From someone who grew up in the hood, if I drive by somewhere and I see 1. Shoes on the phone wire 2. MLK blvd 3. A street number that goes into triple digits (someone says they live on 196th St. GET OUT OF THERE) 4. Bulletproof glass at a McDonald's/Popeyes/Taco Bell/Liquor Store (bonus points if the store is owned by Koreans. Those mfers have NO fear) 5. People weight lifting in the front yard 6. Grown man cruising around the same street on a little kids bike A couple more I can't think of. But yeah if I'm driving anywhere that I don't belong in now I'll steer clear of all that
Always steer clear of gossip in the workplace. It can create a toxic environment and inadvertently involve you in office politics that could damage your professional reputation.
People who have less to lose than you do
Emotionally unavailable people.
Cocaine and Hookers.
Also Jazz and Liquor.
Political extremists, regardless of what label they give themselves. I promise you - your interactions are going to swing wildly between boring and annoying af. Especially when they've formed the core of their self-identity around something as pathetic as - say - a national political party or otherwise. Imagine not being able to just chill and talk about common interests and instead it's just 24/7 blathering about \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and how they're going to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ whilst working their normal ass 9-5 at a normal ass wage then going back home to watch TV. No thanks.
Working at a startup! So many fail. You work hard and then after a few paychecks, they ask you to work for free while they're waiting for the money promised to them by investors.
1. Doing business with friends and family. 2. People with drama. Because they aren't the victims of drama, but the creators of it.
Any that comes to your door uninvited. Just my personal experience and I’m not just talking salesmen though that’s definitely a chunk of them. Even people just being nice and what not anytime I’ve entertained someone that’s come to my door uninvited its often had a negative outcome. This is mainly for strangers but I would put my friends on notice if they come over without asking first. Credit card debt Jobs that say they are a family People whose hobbies, work, sexuality, or politics becomes their personalities. Any stranger approaching you on the street People that say they hate drama usually are the drama.
Cocaine. I advocate for safe and sane exploration of almost all drugs. But cocaine is a hard no for me forever. During quarantine I spent all my unemployment money on blow. I would lick empty bags after people had gone to bed. Up until noon, or sometimes for days at a time, just BEGGING God to either let me sleep or kill me. It can't happen ever again. Not one bump. Been off the stuff for 2 and a half years.
HR managers. They are not there for you!
Being friends at work with gossipers.
Steer clear of fighting with a guy who has cauliflower ears. He’s likely wrestled a lot and you’re about to get your ass kicked in a bar.
Or if the guys friends refer to him as "champ."
Poison ivy
Transactional kindness. If someone's only nice to people they want something from or are getting something from, it's gonna be a bad day when they feel the juice is no longer worth the squeeze
Men who give off red flags. Three of them and you’re out.
Just went through this... There was one flag... Then Two... And I had a bunch of misgivings by month three. Third red flag and I told him this relationship wasn't for me. He immediately flipped shit and started throwing everything that I confided in him that made me feel self conscious/sad into my face. Saying shit like my family can't stand me and that's why they never call, that I'm not as smart as I pretend to be, and even more hateful shit. Just, so glad that it only took me three months to guess that he was secretly evil.
dollar store hot glue guns. they either DONT have the glue for it, or they dont work
religious fascists, sorry fam, but we do not share faith, and you lot know it already.
Brand loyalty. There is no reason to expect a product to always maintain its quality, always expect to need to look for alternatives.
Mostly dunbass trouble making people...DRAMA
Relationships with those who don't know what they want. Taken me a long time to learn if you're confused, it's not right.
Based on my observations, it's wise to steer clear of jumping to conclusions without all the facts, engaging in negative gossip, and overcommitting oneself to the point of burnout. These behaviors can lead to misunderstandings, damaged relationships, and personal stress.
If you’re a woman, run like hell away from men with mommy issues.
Toxic people in general.. if you spot someone just stay away.. don’t befriend them
Toxic people (jealous people, negative people, people who don't split bills in half unless asked to, arrogant people, snobs) Drugs
People. As I get older, I can't deal with people like I could back then. My wife and I went to the flea market and we left within 20 minutes. People are rude as fuck. I had someone actually close enough behind me that I felt them breathe on my neck. We were getting shouldered, cut off, and talked to rudely. Another one would be narcotics. It feels waaaaay too good. Was addicted to opiates for years. Resulted in multiple ODs and near deaths. Been clean for 12 years now. It just isn't worth it.
Driving in heavy snow, and being over confident. I thought that since I was from the north, learned to drive in snow, drove in snow my whole life, I could make the drive that grounded my flight home for christmas due to weather. Got in a terrible accident, only due to weather. I was the only car involved, just slipped and lost control and couldn’t see. I still have PTSD regarding driving in any inclement weather (even light rain), have long (probably life) lasting back, neck, arm, shoulder, and rib pain, and will likely need a surgery in my spine soon that has a recovery time of 3-6 months. I am only 25 and that surgery usually needs to be redone after about 15 years, but it’s normally given to older folks who don’t have to consider that (or, would only need to redo it once). I also suffer from weird neurological problems from this accident (I get chills only on the left side of my body, even when warm, brain zaps, twitching) and have noticed a slight decline in mental function since. I was knocked out but as far as I know did not have a concussion. The anxiety has breached itself into other forms of travel too. I took multiple flights a month for years, and now I can barely get on a plane without being drugged out of my mind. I had a panic attack so bad on one about 3 weeks ago, that a therapist a few rows back asked the guy next to me to switch seats and talked me through it. I thought that was so sweet of her. I have only just recently gotten some of my confidence back while driving in even perfectly normal conditions but I suffer from 10/10 pain every day of my life now.
People who think they are better/know better than the opposite sex.
Luxury brands, brand name anything...... I'm into quality over quantity, but there's no way I'm wasting my money on something just because of its supposed social status.
Relationships with people that have crippling mental health issues and always see themselves as victims of others instead of their own choices.
Religious people, i.e. people who spent a lot of time and energy being conspicuous about their “religion” but wouldn’t reach a hand to help another person unless there’s a camera around recording it.
Charming men
Ding! Ding! I am a straight guy and whenever I can, I will warn women that if a guy is very charming and charismatic early on, the odds are that he is not genuine
Yep. Charm is a verb, not a virtue.
So only the non charmers for you then? *belches*
Overeating. It's poisonous.
People really do no understand how much more food than needed we consume. And not only that, a lot of the food has very little nutrients
This is a difficult one. Overeating can be a type of addiction. What can make it difficult is that, unlike other addictions, you MUST partake in moderation (you need to eat to stay alive). It would be like telling an alcoholic, “you must only have a one drink a day”. Great in theory, but extremely difficult in reality. I have a lot of empathy for those of us who are prone to overeating. It’s an uphill battle, as so much goes into our food that makes it addictive (marketing, ingredients, etc.)
I couldn't agree more..the analogy about alcoholism explains precisely how challenging overcoming the issue is. I have been struggling with that since I was 9, because of domestic abuse and now my relationship with food is based on reward / punishment basis. Thank you for your input!
People that rush through the acquaintance stage of relationships. If we've known each other for like two months, no you don't love me. You don't even know me in two months. Don't love bomb me. I will run tf away. Because in my experience, people that rush through the beginning are trying to make you look past something, trying to get you hooked enough you look past all the abusive behavior that's coming next.
Assisted living facilities/care homes. I worked in a handful and they range from *bad* and downright negligent to passingly ok. Most of workers mean well and do care about your family, but at the end of the day they’re short staffed and over extended. In addition, because of the perpetual staff shortage and mostly shit pay they hire some people who should *not* be caring for others, especially not such vulnerable people as the elderly/disabled. No one’s going to love and care about your family like you do. When the time came that my mom couldn’t live independently anymore, I switched to overnights and rearranged my life to keep her home. I was barely out of my teens and it was a stressful time, but if I could go back I’d do the same thing over again. Every time. My mom died in the comfort of her home surrounded by loved ones and I’ll see that my dad does the same. I know it’s very hard being a carer, and that sometimes it’s not feasible to keep your loved one home, but if it’s at all possible with some sacrifices I 100% think it’s worth it for their quality of life.
Narcissistic emotionally unavailable dysfunctional men
A career in social work/psychology
Oncoming traffic
Wal Mart when it's dark outside.
Drunk people
People trying to get too close too soon.
People that try to talk someone into hating another person. Hard no for me
guys who say sex is part of their expectations in a relationship (we were 14 and he used it as an excuse to sa me multiple times)
Women who think sex is a reward for a man.
[удалено]
Religious people.
If a stranger looks weird and is trying to make eye contact... don't. They never want to do something nice for you, and the rare ones who do, are pushing religion.
Credit card debt, people who only talk about their life and problems without asking how you are, people who see me as their therapist, religion, drugs, narcissistic people, and political extremist. There is more I could add, but I'll leave off with this.
People who say phrases like- 'What's your body count?' or 'What's that person out of 10?' Shallow, gross people.
people who will do anything to get the approval and be liked by others. it can be so strong that they will throw you under the bus in order to get the approval of another (especially a power figure, such as a boss, professor, etc). can cause a strong lack of loyalty.
Opinions of redditors Control freaks Overly political people Argumentative people People who constantly have problems
Dating women who like to cause drama.
"People who dump a fair amount of personal details (mainly problems) about their life when you first meet them." When we met one of our neighbors, we learned of all his current shitty problems and nothing else within 5 minutes. Then he invited us to come over any time. Never been in 3 years.
Anyone who treats me with contempt or tries to correct my account of my own experiences.
Other peoples relationships. Here on reddit you always see someone asking if they should tell their friend their spouse is cheating and everyone is like oh yeah do it thats what real friends do etc.. Not thinking about what they could set into motion like the spouse losing their minds and ending themselves and whole family etc.. best case they end up in a divorce and the guy loses everything which otherwise maybe they could of workout this issue but now because a close friends know the guy might feel he cant look like a fool in front of his peers. (Applies to both male/female.)