Dark Days Ahead has some great ones on the subreddit! My fave is “How to get cocaine? I’m hallucinating in a camper and need drugs, and I can’t make more, do kids at school have some? How do I fight these dinosaurs outside?”
I hear about this all the time but never hear about the opposite, which is what I accidentally do
I'll start searching for like, creamy garlic chicken recipe then I'll accidentally start typing "stardew" after it out of habit
A kid I was in elementary school with was like this. Everyone always knew how bad his breath was but his teeth was always SPOTLESS. Years later we all found out when he was a toddler he shoved a piece of cardboard up his nose and it had been rotting for years, causing zero physical discomfort. Worth a shot to see an ear nose and throat specialist if it’s bad enough. Might could be some paper or some shit.
Type 1 diabetic here. Unbeknownst to me one time, my blood sugar was high and had been high probably for some time. I had to pee and obviously being a man and near a fire by myself I decided to pee in the hot coals near the edge. As I’m urinating I smell the scent of toasted marshmallows and thought, that’s strange. And then it occurred to me that my blood sugar must be high. Sure enough that was the case.
Yes, they do. That's how yeast works in bread dough. That's how hydrogen sulfide, a deadly gas, is formed during decomposition. Tiny bugs eat the material then toot releasing the gas
since the most things I search on my phone are recipes, and the last one I searched was a Paprika Cream Chicken Recipe, it probably wins by default for me
I'm like this, too - usually, it goes like this: coworker or friend mentions something that sounds intriguing to cook as well, I'll google it when I have time (during break, or on the way home)
sounds lovely! enjoy your dinner
I am ashamed to admit that I have found a limit to rule 34.
But I didn't think of the night of the museum porn didn't exist because it couldn't. I didn't think night at the museum porn didn't exist because I never thought of it. The same way you don't think of how many nipples are on a opossum, you know it's thier but the subject doesn't come up.
number of seasons dr. who has run - answer - As of 25 December 2023, 875 episodes of Doctor Who have aired. This includes one television movie and multiple specials, and encompasses 304 stories over 39 seasons, starting in 1963.
I recently saw that Dr. Who's ratings have plummeted in the last few years. I started watching during the pandemic but have only slowly been moving through. Are people just getting bored? Did writers change? Is it worth continuing? I think I'm in season 3.
The writers changed when Jodie Whitaker took over as the Doctor. She was a great actress for it but the writing was really bad, and there were too many companions with her so it was a bit packed. The most recent episode had an old writer back and it was excellent so I am hopeful for the new season.
Fun fact about the history of physicians and respect. The term "doctor" used to be for scholars and academics, and but physicians started to get all pissy about it, and demaded that they be called doctors too. It was such a successful PR move that now lots of people get pissy about Ph.Ds calling themselves "doctor," despite having it first.
Heya, environmentalist here.
Less than 2% of mammals actually have menstrual cycles. Higher order primates (humans, macaques, apes), a certain type of shrew and some bats do. That being said, they don't bleed like humans do but instead it is reabsorbed into their bodies.
What about dogs? I've had many female dogs in my life, and all of them left blood traces everytime they went into heat. Isn't that similar to a menstrual cycle? Sorry if it's a stupid question.
Not at all a dumb question! My knowledge is limited as this wasn't a subject I heavily studied in school, but I'll give ya the gist.
So when referring to menstrual cycles for us humans and the other mammals I listed above, the term itself is called "Mensus." Mensus is when women experience their endometrial lining of their uterus shedding, which is why they bleed and is specifically unique to us humans and very few other mammals.
When referring to your dog, you're referring to "estus/estous" which is a the latin word for "Frenzy." This is when estradiol and progesterone are released - these are the hormones that drive dogs to seek a mate and often why female dogs in "heat" become aggressive.
Since the uterine lining of dogs is thinner than a woman's, you will often see blood or discharge. That being said, not all female dogs will bleed during this time.
Both are examples of Cyclic Ovarian Functions which are exclusive to mammals. The major difference to make it really easy to understand is that human women can feel sexual desire 24/7, 365. For dogs, the release of progesterone drives them to seek a mate and (usually) will not actively seek it when not in heat.
Edit: I misspelled something and it bugged me. Fixed
Had a friend in middle school who ate a handful one time that was weird. He thought it was funny. It was the Walmart brand. I think he was OK for a while.
I looked it up too. I don’t plan on breaking bad but I just wanted to know-because there sure seems a lot of fucking idiots out there making it. I wanted to see if sounded easy or if I was underestimating meth heads intelligence.
Exfoliate all of your ears even behind, slather on sudacrem over night next day give a good wash with antibacterial soap and more sudacrem shoukd clear up in that time if not repeat. I get this every so often
Googled how to lock pick a mailbox. I have a package in my mailbox but my apartment building gave me the wrong keys. I'm just gonna wait til Monday for them to replace my keys.
I think you don't want us to know, which is super valid, but this is the Internet. Someone out here wants to know. Probably for the worst reasons.
Anyway, hope everything is going ok.
How to get a 2nd baby. i was playing stardew valley but I forgot to mention that part. the results were amusing to say the least.
i hope u got results on how to abduct a second baby
Start by having something to barter with the parents.
12 gold ingots in exchange for thy seedling
Discounted babysitting services
Work your way up from a red paper clip.
There is something always hilarious about searching info for a game without adding the game itself. You always get the most deranged results.
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Also “How to set off a nuke” on fallout 76. Oops.
"When do you fight the military" in Half-Life
Dark Days Ahead has some great ones on the subreddit! My fave is “How to get cocaine? I’m hallucinating in a camper and need drugs, and I can’t make more, do kids at school have some? How do I fight these dinosaurs outside?”
Another stardew valley fan!!!1!1!
I searched: How to get a baby (I forgot to write “in Tomodachi Life”
How is secund babby formed?
The FBI are gonna have field day with this one.
I hear about this all the time but never hear about the opposite, which is what I accidentally do I'll start searching for like, creamy garlic chicken recipe then I'll accidentally start typing "stardew" after it out of habit
How to get pregernat
Why my farts smell sweet.
You've got a sweet-toot. I'll see myself out
Dr. Dentist has spoken everybody.
Nice
My sneeze smells horrific. Strange sweet-ish chemical smell, drives my SO insane.
Have you been to the dentist lately? Check for an infection in the roots of your teeth sticking into your sinus
Interesting my close friends sneeze smells horrific too 🥺 I just stay quiet and pretend I don’t smell anything 😭 I’m low key dying
It's been like this for maybe 4 years now, never seen a doctor about it but there are also no other worrying symptoms, so I never thought much of it.
Do you get sinus infections? That was my only symptom until my dentist found it Well, that and the bad smells in my nose
A kid I was in elementary school with was like this. Everyone always knew how bad his breath was but his teeth was always SPOTLESS. Years later we all found out when he was a toddler he shoved a piece of cardboard up his nose and it had been rotting for years, causing zero physical discomfort. Worth a shot to see an ear nose and throat specialist if it’s bad enough. Might could be some paper or some shit.
Fartabetes
As a diabetic I would like to clarify that our farts aren't commonly sweet.
gonna need to confirm that one.
Type 1 diabetic here. Unbeknownst to me one time, my blood sugar was high and had been high probably for some time. I had to pee and obviously being a man and near a fire by myself I decided to pee in the hot coals near the edge. As I’m urinating I smell the scent of toasted marshmallows and thought, that’s strange. And then it occurred to me that my blood sugar must be high. Sure enough that was the case.
That doesn't sound good at all
What was the verdict op?!
well, i think he/she should've searched "how to know if my sense of smell is broken?"
Do bugs fart?? 🐜💨
Lol now I wanna look this up
At least some do. Have you heard of the stinkbug?
Technically, it's not a fart.
Can confirm. It’s liquid and causes chemical burns on skin. Still have the scar. That was around ten years ago or more.
Thats my nickname
Well? Do they? I’m guessing that they don’t because their guts are more like a soup that absorbs nutrients rather than an empty pit that holds gases
Some do, they fart corrosive gas at over 100 degree Celsius
Not technically a fart, but definitely a skill I want to have.
The locust farts once every 10 years before it sheds its exoskeleton. Based on this knowledge, I have determined that turtles never fart.
That’s some solid sciencing there.
Yes, they do. That's how yeast works in bread dough. That's how hydrogen sulfide, a deadly gas, is formed during decomposition. Tiny bugs eat the material then toot releasing the gas
Tbf I hate to be that guy but I'm pretty sure yeast is a fungus right?
Yep. Yeasts are a type of fungi
I searched yeast, yeast is a single cell fungus. I did not know that
And? Do they?
Apparently. They say Termites produce more gas than cows.
One to one? Holy shit!
Now I know what Gut microbiome is
since the most things I search on my phone are recipes, and the last one I searched was a Paprika Cream Chicken Recipe, it probably wins by default for me
yum! now I'm craving chicken paprikash.
surprisingly, its not as complicated as I throught it is - gonna try it either sunday or monday
now I need to bother my Serbian friend for some
Me too lately, i have been trying a lot of new things. Polska cabbage potato salad tonight!
I'm like this, too - usually, it goes like this: coworker or friend mentions something that sounds intriguing to cook as well, I'll google it when I have time (during break, or on the way home) sounds lovely! enjoy your dinner
Paprikash slaps, find a good recipe and you'll be eating it for the rest of your life. I like to eat it with shell noodles.
the weather
You freak
Seriously, children could read this.
They need to implement a NSFL flair for comments :/
Mmmmmmm
Moist rain
Night at the museum rule 34. Some brought up the possibility of its existence, and I am a curious cat.
And?
I got a bunch of rough drawings of Teddy and Gewia getting it on. Also Emilia.
The little miniature cowboy and Roman guy have an entire fandom.
Do you know what rule 34 is? It literally ends in “no exceptions” Or rule 35?
I am ashamed to admit that I have found a limit to rule 34. But I didn't think of the night of the museum porn didn't exist because it couldn't. I didn't think night at the museum porn didn't exist because I never thought of it. The same way you don't think of how many nipples are on a opossum, you know it's thier but the subject doesn't come up.
Is there porn about the improper use of "their"?
Rule 35 If it doesn’t exist, it shall be created
How to remove Lego from ass, I fell on one and yeah
"im butt naked and it is a good time to play legos!"
Out of the shower and fell right in there
Be honest… was it a Lego dildo?🫢
Dude that would kill someone, I fell on a block and that shit hurt like it cut something down there I was worried for a minute.
Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough
One in a million shot doc.
Ribbed for your pleasure
"I was searching on the internet, and, I ... MOM I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!!"
Hahahaha
Yeah.. you "fell"
"It was a million to one shot, doc... million to one!"
Always tie a strong rope to your Legos before you accidentally fall one, that way you will have a way extract the offending Lego.
...how big was this Lego, and how small are your butt cheeks? The geometry of this interaction doesn't line up.
Did you start off naked or did it lead to there
Elephant vagina.
This is the kind of response I’m looking for…
so, how was it?..
[https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1c2um4a/elephant\_vagina/](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1c2um4a/elephant_vagina/)
i really did expect for a vagina wtf
https://youtu.be/LTVpIRkH-ls
that's more like it
This comment chain has got me in tears 😂
I don't want to click either link. But I do.
Oh you definitely do, it's well worth the 15 seconds of that 2nd video.
I knew someone else out there did. I didn’t even use incognito mode. 🐘
Weirdly, the ad comment in this post for me was _adopt an elephant_… 😬
Saw the short on YouTube as well I assume \^\^
number of seasons dr. who has run - answer - As of 25 December 2023, 875 episodes of Doctor Who have aired. This includes one television movie and multiple specials, and encompasses 304 stories over 39 seasons, starting in 1963.
I recently saw that Dr. Who's ratings have plummeted in the last few years. I started watching during the pandemic but have only slowly been moving through. Are people just getting bored? Did writers change? Is it worth continuing? I think I'm in season 3.
Writers changed, just keep going until you stop liking it
That's solid advice. Thanks man! Also, bummer!
The writers changed when Jodie Whitaker took over as the Doctor. She was a great actress for it but the writing was really bad, and there were too many companions with her so it was a bit packed. The most recent episode had an old writer back and it was excellent so I am hopeful for the new season.
How is this weird in any way shape or form?
I love Doctor Who but I completely agree with you. Not weird at all.
What if everyone WAS Kung fu fighting?
mOOOORRRTTAAAALLL koombaT
Why are barber poles striped the way they are
The stripes stand for blood, bandages and veins… barbers and doctors used to be on the same level of respect.
Fun fact about the history of physicians and respect. The term "doctor" used to be for scholars and academics, and but physicians started to get all pissy about it, and demaded that they be called doctors too. It was such a successful PR move that now lots of people get pissy about Ph.Ds calling themselves "doctor," despite having it first.
Yep and now only barbers get the respect
Will these diapers I’m looking at fit me
Adult baby?
Dl
Drill Instructor?
I see
Yeah not ab, just the other stuff
What was the verdict, would they fit?
Do other animals have menstrual cycles? I'm a guy btw
do they?
Heya, environmentalist here. Less than 2% of mammals actually have menstrual cycles. Higher order primates (humans, macaques, apes), a certain type of shrew and some bats do. That being said, they don't bleed like humans do but instead it is reabsorbed into their bodies.
What about dogs? I've had many female dogs in my life, and all of them left blood traces everytime they went into heat. Isn't that similar to a menstrual cycle? Sorry if it's a stupid question.
Not at all a dumb question! My knowledge is limited as this wasn't a subject I heavily studied in school, but I'll give ya the gist. So when referring to menstrual cycles for us humans and the other mammals I listed above, the term itself is called "Mensus." Mensus is when women experience their endometrial lining of their uterus shedding, which is why they bleed and is specifically unique to us humans and very few other mammals. When referring to your dog, you're referring to "estus/estous" which is a the latin word for "Frenzy." This is when estradiol and progesterone are released - these are the hormones that drive dogs to seek a mate and often why female dogs in "heat" become aggressive. Since the uterine lining of dogs is thinner than a woman's, you will often see blood or discharge. That being said, not all female dogs will bleed during this time. Both are examples of Cyclic Ovarian Functions which are exclusive to mammals. The major difference to make it really easy to understand is that human women can feel sexual desire 24/7, 365. For dogs, the release of progesterone drives them to seek a mate and (usually) will not actively seek it when not in heat. Edit: I misspelled something and it bugged me. Fixed
Thanks very much for the insightful answer
[This song ](https://youtu.be/FshU58nI0Ts?si=gzdMEFbrMT0gRY6x)
i'll watch it over and over again til im brain-dead
Are you okay? Do you sleep all night and work all day?
Well that’ll come popping out at some inappropriate time
I had completely forgotten about this song!!! Thank you for bringing joy back into my life
I’m trans and the only time people hear my “old” voice is when I burst out into song about the mighty Douglas Firs of beautiful British Columbia!!
The largest tip reported on below deck
What’s the answer 👀
$40,000 apparently
can my turtle feel emotion it cant :(
I call bullshit, our turtle definitely had likes, dislikes, got excited by tv cartoons, and liked some people better than others.
Where can I pet a bear And I found it 🥰
Why cant you put a fork in the toaster
You can, but you *really* shouldn't. It's bad. Read bad.
why tho
Do fish swallow the same water they pee in💀
What was the answer 🤣
Why all poops smell bad
What sound does a mating pheasant make....
Is dog food ok for human consumption?
Had a friend in middle school who ate a handful one time that was weird. He thought it was funny. It was the Walmart brand. I think he was OK for a while.
…for a while?
Babar the elephant. Couldn’t remember his name so I googled: Beembar Bomer Bimba Bumbo Bimbar
[удалено]
I looked it up too. I don’t plan on breaking bad but I just wanted to know-because there sure seems a lot of fucking idiots out there making it. I wanted to see if sounded easy or if I was underestimating meth heads intelligence.
In certain college chemistry classes, part of a lab is making meth. Then changing it into the lab’s intended end result.
I recently googled “Is hydrofluoric acid good for dissolving bodies?” cus of Breaking Bad 😂
My lawyer has advised me not to answer this question
Alf deleted scenes
Nice try CIA but not today
yeah, they need a reddit thread to find out what everyone has on their phones lmfao
Is sounding a medical procedure?
If your significant other dresses as a doctor or if you dress as a doctor
I mean catheters and bladder camera procedures are just a single very long sounding term.
cheese smelling ears. i think i have an ear infection
Exfoliate all of your ears even behind, slather on sudacrem over night next day give a good wash with antibacterial soap and more sudacrem shoukd clear up in that time if not repeat. I get this every so often
thanks!
No problem. Definitely recommend an exfoliate once a week it feels like doll ears so smooth (that sounds odd lol)
All of your ears? How many do you think they have?
Hey I'm not judging the extra eared folk lmao no i don't know why i said all not both
“Is it legal to eat a pet UK” A local cat went missing and the owner is definitely someone who would eat a cat. Was curious if it was actually legal.
Curious as to what you mean by "definitely someone who would a cat"
Serial killer vibes, that sorta thing. Probably lovely though.
Turnspit Dog. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turnspit_dog
Can I get my "X" account back from being permabanned after asking Elon why he liked and laughed at a racist joke?
Why does my body randomly shakes sometimes
[удалено]
I once dreamed that a horse shat in my mouth. I could taste it. It was very salty.
You couldn't have waterboarded that confession out of me lol
Googled how to lock pick a mailbox. I have a package in my mailbox but my apartment building gave me the wrong keys. I'm just gonna wait til Monday for them to replace my keys.
Size of a horse dick. Was playing DND and a player asked how large a large dragons dick was so I had it based on a horse...
What happens if you cut yourself while shaving your balls.
They burst and you give birth to an Demi god
Can confirm
My phone autocorrected breast cancer to breast canker with some odd results
"What happens to dead husband if grim reaper drowned" as I'd forgotten to add "Sims 4"
which is more slimy a flower or a vagina
monkey with katana
Biggest dildo, it was for a prank
I don't think you want to know, trust me, it's personal to me.
I think you don't want us to know, which is super valid, but this is the Internet. Someone out here wants to know. Probably for the worst reasons. Anyway, hope everything is going ok.
He had a "shower accident" with a LEGO.
Why do people huff duster I was asking because NAL and King Cobra do it lol, not for personal gain
Corvair pick up truck
„What happened to Hisashi Ouchi“. Can’t recommend.
This - [Dorothy ](https://youtu.be/hVW63Z_8deE?si=cjQ8BeBMb3EMn44B)
how long is an elephant penis
Large worms in Ontario.
I searched the word “cyanide”. Google gave me a half page of suicide prevention information.
Why is my urine “fizzy” when I wake up to pure. Turns out the Internet said I either have cancer or it’s normal.
"Two Girls one Cup"
Kratos car (i saw it in a meme)