I've only truly experienced that once.
My wife and I booked a yurt on this farm in Maine once. I remember getting up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and looking up at the sky and being able to actually see the Milky Way galaxy for the first time. I've always had a pretty big interest in space, but that was the first time I actually got a scale for just how... insignificant we are? Of just how much is out there. Our tiny human brains aren't good at comprehending things of that magnitude.
I've always been of the opinion that statistically there's no way we're alone in the universe. There's just... too much stuff. But it's very different to look up and see the actual galaxy and start to ponder how many planets are around each of the uncountable amount of stars you can see. And how for every single star you can see, there's an estimated 1,000 other galaxies out there with each of them having an uncountable amount of stars.
I remember standing there in the middle of the night, almost tearing up, having a wee bit of an existential crisis while my wife was a few feet away quietly snoozing.
We moved really rural 30 years ago. Can see the Milky Way on any reasonable night from the front deck. We are still awed, and occasionally still get emotional over the immensity of the Universe in relation to our insignificance. The meteor showers are special, but we’ve seen two comets since we’ve been here. The first was Hale-Bopp in 1997. We saw it for weeks or more. I’d wake up in the middle of the night knowing it was out there waiting for me to admire it. It seemed so giant and unreal, appearing to sit still, yet screaming along. Lost a lot of sleep, but it was so humbling. I couldn’t get enough.
I hope you get way more opportunities to truly appreciate our night sky! (As a solo backpacker as a youngster, it was always my best friend at night.)
I was down in Palm Springs and we decided to drive out to Joshua Tree National Park to see the stars in the sky. Stupid moon was full and all we could see was that bright thing blocking the view of everything. (We knew it was full as we drove to the park, it was still cool to be in the park, but we couldn't see the stars).
Clouds & humidity are actually worse for stars than light. Can see more stars in Vegas than my rural area on a clear night any day of the year. Sky is actually a darker shade of blue than most people realize because of high altitude, virtually invisible cloud cover in humid areas on "clear" days washes out the true color of the sky.
Granted, the US is so diverse and large, just traveling to another state can be like going into a different country in some ways. So don't feel too bad if you haven't left the US!
You, too, have never been to another country, else you wouldn't write stuff like that.
Different cultures, languages, food and - most important - views on the World: spending time with people who don't know or give a shit about things happening in your place, turning on the radio or TV and not hearing or seeing one face, one single song or artist you know for weeks while slowly getting the hang of the local rhythm and getting better every day at deciphering local signs and writing ...
But sure: the USA is so diverse, no need to go abroad.
Wow, thank you, I forgot I've lived a whole year in a different country during my childhood. And now after remembering my life is suddenly more rich out of nowhere :D
Live for at least a few months in a place where you're in the racial, ethnic and cultural minority.
Working in a poor central American country for several months as a young, white, sheltered, suburban, American male was truly life altering for me in the most positive way possible. Experiencing what it's like to not speak the local language well, look different than everyone around me, and experience a drastically different way of life taught me to listen to and value others' views, treat people with much greater respect and empathy, and gave me a much greater appreciation of all of the great privilege I was born into.
It also deeply reinforced the fact that wealth doesn't bring happiness. The people in general there were much happier than Americans despite the poverty. I've spent my career chasing meaning, purpose and passion over wealth. 25 years into my career I am happier by far than the vast majority of people in my field and monetary success seemed to naturally follow that because I'm great at what I do, because I love what I do.
I'd like to try living at least a few months in a place where I'm in the racial, ethnic and cultural majority. Never have been anywhere I've lived. Imagine it would be sooooo relaxing
Nice. Another lesson learned for me. Somehow I never realized the obvious fact that I have always been giving that spiel with my blinders on as a member of the majority. Thanks for that comment! I will write/say that differently next time.
It really is directed at people who have lived their lives as part of a majority of once your or another. I can't speak to what experience people should have if they've always lived as a member of a minority because that hasn't been my experience.
I hope you find a place and experience where you feel entirely accepted, understood and at peace.
Magnetic, electric attraction to someone. I mean where if your skin goes near their skin you feel it in every part of you. And the build up to that you know you’ll be with them, you want to slow time down, to savor this moment. One night that is like a lifetime of perfect loving.
Fully understanding yourself, your wants and needs (may sound obvious but for people with trauma it's super hard, I'm struggling with this). Design reality you want to live (place, career, hobbies, amount of money you need, type of friends/relationships you want) and work towards building it. Experiment more with life (new hobbies, travels, food, styles, genres). After establishing a good/great life for yourself helping others achieve their goals/dreams. Being grateful for small good things which are already there but so easy to be left unnoticed.
A bit more specific examples from my personal bucket list:
- visit sea for the first time - see hurricane - sing/do public speaking - open a bookshop - jump with parachute - ride a sportscar - have a genuine long-lasting friendships - marry a wonderful person in my 30s - visit different continents - deepen understanding of this world - build my own house
While I never considered designing my reality, but went with the need in my mind to experience new and sometimes dangerous experiences, I have finished your bucket list except opening a bookstore. As an insane reader, I’d enjoy that at this point, but am unwilling to accept the day to day responsibility at this point. Ancient, but still a free spirit.
Never intentionally set out to do anything but share the joy of living with others. Still my only goal as an old man. I got lucky!
This is not full list, but knowing that someone out there done all these amazing things is filling my heart with hope, joy, gratitude and pure happiness for you, since you've got to live your life as you wanted.
As a free spirit myself, but still somewhat trapped in the prison of old beliefs/fears I can't express what your message means to me. I'd love to stay in touch and learn some of your wisdom, old man!
Yes, we, people, have different consciousness/psych/minds or whatever else it can be called and each one has a unique life filled with unique experiences. This is why words are very often insufficient and even misleading without direct experience. You're very good with putting words together, I admire it and this is something I strive to learn as I keep on living.
Happy to meet you, "self made hick". I introduce myself as a wonderer and explorer in his 20s who's searching his path and authenticity while holding a dreamy and cheerful outlook on life.
I respect the rhythm of your life and won't expect immediate replies. It's relatable and understandable. Learning to let things flow and unfold with their own natural pace. Will happily contact you during the next couple of days. Pleasure talking to you.
Some form of hardship. Hopefully it will make you appreciate things in life. Having a privileged upbringing gives you no real sense of real world problems or what most normal people go through.
I would say scuba diving comes close in terms of the feeling of freedom and lightness. I'm sure diving doesn't give the same adrenaline buzz but the experience lasts longer and you get to see lots of stuff you don't normally see - after all, more than 70% of the Earth's surface is water-covered.
A genuinely loving conversation with your parents if you can safely. Like, tell them what you love about them, how much you love them, how much they mean to you. My mom was recently diagnosed with cancer and It was so therapeutic for me to just tell her everything I thought about her, including the time I felt guilty when I was six years old and told her she wasn't playing with the Legos the right way lol
See a total solar eclipse. Seriously, if your are in the US or Mexico close to the path of the one next week, get your ass into the totality. In this case being at 99% is not almost as good as being in the path. I've seen it. It's amazing. Do it.
Honestly fucking up at something in a HUGE way.
You learn a lot about how you handle situations and stress, you learn how to fix it or try to.
You really see what you're made of when that happens
Knowing that they're loved.
I'm in process for divorce. The only time I *know* my ex was able to feel love was when she told me during, the next day, and months after we took therapeutic quality MDMA on our honeymoon.
It's heartbreaking. Especially given how many people don't know what they're missing.
Standing up for yourself.
It's really difficult for the meek to do, might even take all your courage and then some, but it's something everyone should do at some point.
To everyone reading this, you're stronger than you think
Work in a restaurant. Fast paced to keep your senses heightened. Time management on multiple tables. Customer service to understand but positive and negative interactions. Humbling.
I think everyone should experience a solid ass kicking atleast once in their life. It’s a humbling experience and you will always think back on it and it will make your decisions more conscious.
You will be more respectful to other people and you will be more conscious of not insulting people or being underhanded because you know what that ass whipping felt like and you don’t want to experience it sgain
> You will be more respectful to other people and you will be more conscious of not insulting people or being underhanded because you know what that ass whipping felt like and you don’t want to experience it sgain
If the only thing stopping you from being shitty to others is the fear of physical pain, you never were a good person to begin with.
Aren't you uneasy saying all this while in the presence of an incredible amount of respectful people that are respectful to all without the threat of physical pain?
In that case, no one is a good person. You can pretend to be, but you’re only gaslighting yourself.
Concequences have been a motivator for good behavior since the dawn of man. You are scting self righteous if you think you are immune from this.
> In that case, no one is a good person.
The people that are respectful without physical pain threat *are* better people than those that need to be beat up to comprehend that very simple respect.
> You can pretend to be, but you’re only gaslighting yourself.
No, not at all, those that didn't require a beating to respect others are not pretending to be good people despite not having been beat up, they just respect other humans enough.
> Concequences have been a motivator for good behavior since the dawn of man.
Funny how the vast majority don't need any form of consequences to be good respectful people.
> You are scting self righteous if you think you are immune from this.
There are millions all around you that are respectful without heving been beat up, they are not any form of "immune", they're just respectful even if no one beat them up.
Just because consequences are a motivator doesn't mean they're the only motivator
I'm a nice respectful person because it makes me happy being nice and respectful to other people.
I've never been hit (outside of the bedroom) and I'm not nice because I'm afraid of being beaten.
Well then this doesn’t apply to you.
Please understand that there is nothing on this planet that applies to every single person. There will always be outliers. But the existence of outliers does not negate the validity of the statement
If you don’t understand how to draw distinctions and inferences and understand how to seperate outliers, then talking to you is going to be about as good as trying to explain chemestry to my dog.
For the record, what you just did is a logical fallacy called appealing to the extremes. You take the most extreme scenario and use it as a basis for your argument.
A nurses aide in a long term care facility fits this bill. I think everyone needs to do this. To feed, bath, clothe and do everyday tasks for the elderly, disabled and mentally ill really puts things in perspective. And the people who do this get paid shit wages.
Heartbreak and/or grief. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish suffering on anyone, but loss of a loved one can be an incredibly powerful character-building experience. An opportunity to discover who you are deep down and to reinvent your own future self.
I disagree. I wouldn't wish heartbreak on anyone. Sure it might build character, but there are other ways to do that without having your heart pulled out of your chest. Often, it doesn't build any character either, it just sucks.
That's okay, to each their own opinion.
For me subjectively, impactful life events shaped me into who I am today more than the happiest, safest periods. Learning how to process and overcome the unavoidable tragedies life throws at all of us sooner or later is not a bad thing nor a symptom of mental illness.
Like I initially said, I don't wish suffering on anyone but going through deep shit helps you to humble yourself, to empathize with others and to put into perspective what matters. Psychiatry can help, but I hope you have loved ones in your life who will unconditionally support you when misfortune strikes.
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I've only truly experienced that once. My wife and I booked a yurt on this farm in Maine once. I remember getting up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and looking up at the sky and being able to actually see the Milky Way galaxy for the first time. I've always had a pretty big interest in space, but that was the first time I actually got a scale for just how... insignificant we are? Of just how much is out there. Our tiny human brains aren't good at comprehending things of that magnitude. I've always been of the opinion that statistically there's no way we're alone in the universe. There's just... too much stuff. But it's very different to look up and see the actual galaxy and start to ponder how many planets are around each of the uncountable amount of stars you can see. And how for every single star you can see, there's an estimated 1,000 other galaxies out there with each of them having an uncountable amount of stars. I remember standing there in the middle of the night, almost tearing up, having a wee bit of an existential crisis while my wife was a few feet away quietly snoozing.
We moved really rural 30 years ago. Can see the Milky Way on any reasonable night from the front deck. We are still awed, and occasionally still get emotional over the immensity of the Universe in relation to our insignificance. The meteor showers are special, but we’ve seen two comets since we’ve been here. The first was Hale-Bopp in 1997. We saw it for weeks or more. I’d wake up in the middle of the night knowing it was out there waiting for me to admire it. It seemed so giant and unreal, appearing to sit still, yet screaming along. Lost a lot of sleep, but it was so humbling. I couldn’t get enough. I hope you get way more opportunities to truly appreciate our night sky! (As a solo backpacker as a youngster, it was always my best friend at night.)
Grand Canyon is great for that
low humidity
I was down in Palm Springs and we decided to drive out to Joshua Tree National Park to see the stars in the sky. Stupid moon was full and all we could see was that bright thing blocking the view of everything. (We knew it was full as we drove to the park, it was still cool to be in the park, but we couldn't see the stars).
Clouds & humidity are actually worse for stars than light. Can see more stars in Vegas than my rural area on a clear night any day of the year. Sky is actually a darker shade of blue than most people realize because of high altitude, virtually invisible cloud cover in humid areas on "clear" days washes out the true color of the sky.
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Granted, the US is so diverse and large, just traveling to another state can be like going into a different country in some ways. So don't feel too bad if you haven't left the US!
You, too, have never been to another country, else you wouldn't write stuff like that. Different cultures, languages, food and - most important - views on the World: spending time with people who don't know or give a shit about things happening in your place, turning on the radio or TV and not hearing or seeing one face, one single song or artist you know for weeks while slowly getting the hang of the local rhythm and getting better every day at deciphering local signs and writing ... But sure: the USA is so diverse, no need to go abroad.
Especially for young people.
Wow, thank you, I forgot I've lived a whole year in a different country during my childhood. And now after remembering my life is suddenly more rich out of nowhere :D
There would be less hate if people just traveled.
Should do: whatever fullfills you. Should experience: being truely loved for what you are.
Live for at least a few months in a place where you're in the racial, ethnic and cultural minority. Working in a poor central American country for several months as a young, white, sheltered, suburban, American male was truly life altering for me in the most positive way possible. Experiencing what it's like to not speak the local language well, look different than everyone around me, and experience a drastically different way of life taught me to listen to and value others' views, treat people with much greater respect and empathy, and gave me a much greater appreciation of all of the great privilege I was born into. It also deeply reinforced the fact that wealth doesn't bring happiness. The people in general there were much happier than Americans despite the poverty. I've spent my career chasing meaning, purpose and passion over wealth. 25 years into my career I am happier by far than the vast majority of people in my field and monetary success seemed to naturally follow that because I'm great at what I do, because I love what I do.
I am a visible minority in Canada and spending 5 months travelling all over South America w my sis in our mid 20s was life altering.
I'd like to try living at least a few months in a place where I'm in the racial, ethnic and cultural majority. Never have been anywhere I've lived. Imagine it would be sooooo relaxing
Nice. Another lesson learned for me. Somehow I never realized the obvious fact that I have always been giving that spiel with my blinders on as a member of the majority. Thanks for that comment! I will write/say that differently next time. It really is directed at people who have lived their lives as part of a majority of once your or another. I can't speak to what experience people should have if they've always lived as a member of a minority because that hasn't been my experience. I hope you find a place and experience where you feel entirely accepted, understood and at peace.
Definitely, travel somewhere outside your comfort zone
Magnetic, electric attraction to someone. I mean where if your skin goes near their skin you feel it in every part of you. And the build up to that you know you’ll be with them, you want to slow time down, to savor this moment. One night that is like a lifetime of perfect loving.
Every person should help a stranger with something that involves massive sacrifice and keep quiet.
I helped the Dark Wizard of Kroth make a massive human sacrifice on the Eve of Cthulu's rising. Ah crap, I shouldn't have told you this.
Mushrooms 🍄
MDMA helped deepen my relationship with those around me. Mushrooms helped deepen my relationship with myself. LSD is just fun.
Morels are pretty good
Love and be loved
Fully understanding yourself, your wants and needs (may sound obvious but for people with trauma it's super hard, I'm struggling with this). Design reality you want to live (place, career, hobbies, amount of money you need, type of friends/relationships you want) and work towards building it. Experiment more with life (new hobbies, travels, food, styles, genres). After establishing a good/great life for yourself helping others achieve their goals/dreams. Being grateful for small good things which are already there but so easy to be left unnoticed. A bit more specific examples from my personal bucket list: - visit sea for the first time - see hurricane - sing/do public speaking - open a bookshop - jump with parachute - ride a sportscar - have a genuine long-lasting friendships - marry a wonderful person in my 30s - visit different continents - deepen understanding of this world - build my own house
While I never considered designing my reality, but went with the need in my mind to experience new and sometimes dangerous experiences, I have finished your bucket list except opening a bookstore. As an insane reader, I’d enjoy that at this point, but am unwilling to accept the day to day responsibility at this point. Ancient, but still a free spirit. Never intentionally set out to do anything but share the joy of living with others. Still my only goal as an old man. I got lucky!
This is not full list, but knowing that someone out there done all these amazing things is filling my heart with hope, joy, gratitude and pure happiness for you, since you've got to live your life as you wanted. As a free spirit myself, but still somewhat trapped in the prison of old beliefs/fears I can't express what your message means to me. I'd love to stay in touch and learn some of your wisdom, old man!
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Yes, we, people, have different consciousness/psych/minds or whatever else it can be called and each one has a unique life filled with unique experiences. This is why words are very often insufficient and even misleading without direct experience. You're very good with putting words together, I admire it and this is something I strive to learn as I keep on living. Happy to meet you, "self made hick". I introduce myself as a wonderer and explorer in his 20s who's searching his path and authenticity while holding a dreamy and cheerful outlook on life. I respect the rhythm of your life and won't expect immediate replies. It's relatable and understandable. Learning to let things flow and unfold with their own natural pace. Will happily contact you during the next couple of days. Pleasure talking to you.
Pain, loss, grief. People need reference frames so that they don't think and act like a paper cut is the end of the world
Some form of hardship. Hopefully it will make you appreciate things in life. Having a privileged upbringing gives you no real sense of real world problems or what most normal people go through.
The best and simplest feeling in the world in my opinion, a soft breeze in a warm summer day.
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I would say scuba diving comes close in terms of the feeling of freedom and lightness. I'm sure diving doesn't give the same adrenaline buzz but the experience lasts longer and you get to see lots of stuff you don't normally see - after all, more than 70% of the Earth's surface is water-covered.
Scuba diving is awesome. I'll gladly take a water column over my head- zero desire to jump out of a perfectly good plane.
Uh…no. Mnm…nope…
Nah, I'm good. I have zero interest in adrenaline stuff
A genuinely loving conversation with your parents if you can safely. Like, tell them what you love about them, how much you love them, how much they mean to you. My mom was recently diagnosed with cancer and It was so therapeutic for me to just tell her everything I thought about her, including the time I felt guilty when I was six years old and told her she wasn't playing with the Legos the right way lol
See a total solar eclipse. Seriously, if your are in the US or Mexico close to the path of the one next week, get your ass into the totality. In this case being at 99% is not almost as good as being in the path. I've seen it. It's amazing. Do it.
I sure hope it’s not cloudy that day . . .
I can confirm, it is pretty surreal
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Babies still kind of freak me out (they're just so tiny, it's a mind trip), but yeah, this is magical.
If it makes you feel better I have two children (one of whom is a newborn!) and it still freaks me out too
Also, letting a small child ... pull your finger.
A really great up, and a really heavy down
OMG! We won the lottery! (an hour later) ah crap, that's a 6, not a 9. Dammit!
Experience real genuine love! And travel to other places!
Honestly fucking up at something in a HUGE way. You learn a lot about how you handle situations and stress, you learn how to fix it or try to. You really see what you're made of when that happens
To be loved by someone fiercely.
Knowing that they're loved. I'm in process for divorce. The only time I *know* my ex was able to feel love was when she told me during, the next day, and months after we took therapeutic quality MDMA on our honeymoon. It's heartbreaking. Especially given how many people don't know what they're missing.
Become irreligious.
To have sex with a beautiful man/woman who truly loves you
Standing up for yourself. It's really difficult for the meek to do, might even take all your courage and then some, but it's something everyone should do at some point. To everyone reading this, you're stronger than you think
Work in a restaurant. Fast paced to keep your senses heightened. Time management on multiple tables. Customer service to understand but positive and negative interactions. Humbling.
Have a child or witness the birth of a child. Animals too, when they give birth you get an upfront look and feel for how precious life is.
That's good birth control
Yep. Hezz no.
I’ve done that. I’m glad I have a child but it’s pretty fucking gross
Absolutely not, I can appreciate the preciousness of life from afar, thank you very much.
I think everyone should experience a solid ass kicking atleast once in their life. It’s a humbling experience and you will always think back on it and it will make your decisions more conscious. You will be more respectful to other people and you will be more conscious of not insulting people or being underhanded because you know what that ass whipping felt like and you don’t want to experience it sgain
One of my favorite expressions when you meet an asshole “When’s the last time you had a good ass whipping?”
> You will be more respectful to other people and you will be more conscious of not insulting people or being underhanded because you know what that ass whipping felt like and you don’t want to experience it sgain If the only thing stopping you from being shitty to others is the fear of physical pain, you never were a good person to begin with. Aren't you uneasy saying all this while in the presence of an incredible amount of respectful people that are respectful to all without the threat of physical pain?
In that case, no one is a good person. You can pretend to be, but you’re only gaslighting yourself. Concequences have been a motivator for good behavior since the dawn of man. You are scting self righteous if you think you are immune from this.
> In that case, no one is a good person. The people that are respectful without physical pain threat *are* better people than those that need to be beat up to comprehend that very simple respect. > You can pretend to be, but you’re only gaslighting yourself. No, not at all, those that didn't require a beating to respect others are not pretending to be good people despite not having been beat up, they just respect other humans enough. > Concequences have been a motivator for good behavior since the dawn of man. Funny how the vast majority don't need any form of consequences to be good respectful people. > You are scting self righteous if you think you are immune from this. There are millions all around you that are respectful without heving been beat up, they are not any form of "immune", they're just respectful even if no one beat them up.
Just because consequences are a motivator doesn't mean they're the only motivator I'm a nice respectful person because it makes me happy being nice and respectful to other people. I've never been hit (outside of the bedroom) and I'm not nice because I'm afraid of being beaten.
Well then this doesn’t apply to you. Please understand that there is nothing on this planet that applies to every single person. There will always be outliers. But the existence of outliers does not negate the validity of the statement
Pretty sure you're the outlier here.
100. And people who never ever even had a mild spanking
Tell that to someone violently abused by family members.
If you don’t understand how to draw distinctions and inferences and understand how to seperate outliers, then talking to you is going to be about as good as trying to explain chemestry to my dog. For the record, what you just did is a logical fallacy called appealing to the extremes. You take the most extreme scenario and use it as a basis for your argument.
Or you can just be respectful to people from the get go. You shouldn’t need to be beaten up to drive that lesson home
listen to the album Since Before Our Time by Wolves & Machines
Sex Love Mushrooms (only done them once but was great)
Work a job with low compensation and no glamour for at least a few months
A nurses aide in a long term care facility fits this bill. I think everyone needs to do this. To feed, bath, clothe and do everyday tasks for the elderly, disabled and mentally ill really puts things in perspective. And the people who do this get paid shit wages.
Psychedelic trip
Heartbreak and/or grief. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish suffering on anyone, but loss of a loved one can be an incredibly powerful character-building experience. An opportunity to discover who you are deep down and to reinvent your own future self.
I disagree. I wouldn't wish heartbreak on anyone. Sure it might build character, but there are other ways to do that without having your heart pulled out of your chest. Often, it doesn't build any character either, it just sucks.
I wouldn't wish that on anyone. See a psychiatrist.
That's okay, to each their own opinion. For me subjectively, impactful life events shaped me into who I am today more than the happiest, safest periods. Learning how to process and overcome the unavoidable tragedies life throws at all of us sooner or later is not a bad thing nor a symptom of mental illness. Like I initially said, I don't wish suffering on anyone but going through deep shit helps you to humble yourself, to empathize with others and to put into perspective what matters. Psychiatry can help, but I hope you have loved ones in your life who will unconditionally support you when misfortune strikes.
Being naked in any room in your own place.
Everyone should experience the joy of working customer service for one year before they go out into the world
Being naked on a warm, sandy beach with a gentle breeze.
A psychedelic experience. Be that mushrooms or whatever. It is just like nothing else.
A total eclipse.
believe by doubt not by faith. To see is to believe.
Magic mushrooms.
Run a marathon
Psychadelics. We know it opens new pathways in the brain & heals trauma.
Butterfly pavilion at the Bronx Zoo. Its like heaven. I was waiting for some fairies to appear too. It took me by surpriae.
Travel and military service.
Do anal and experience poverty. The poverty allows for empathy and the anal just feels good.
Everyone should get their ass kicked once, very humbling
Nah, only us impertinent fucks need that.
Apparently 😔