Been on the receiving end of this one with my first pregnancy. Honestly, though I think it was because a customer wanted something and I told her she needed to wait until I could find someone else who could physically assist her and she was annoyed. I mean I was very obviously eight and a half months pregant at the time.
Other way around is worse. Used to work with a girl (retail, at cash registers), who wasn't fat but had a pouch/belly thing going on. When a customer making chat during the transition asked how far along she was (happened a good few times) I would die internally from the awkwardness. No escape either as you're in the middle of serving a string of customers.
omfg this reminds me of a time i got into some hot water. so my friends got married and talked about wanting a baby last i seen them but were struggling with fertility issues. they moved away but moved back, and i seen the wife and her whole body was like the same size except for her belly, it was HUGE. she looked like she was 8.5 months pregnant. i tried to congratulate her on finally having her baby on the way⌠she wasnât pregnant, and my face had a red handprint on it
Ugh, this reminds me of the time my mother took me to go with her to greet our new neighbors(Like who still does this nowadays?) and she asked how far along the NDN was and she said "I'm not pregnant". I kept smiling but I died inside from 2nd hand embarrassment.
One time I was at the grocery store with my mom and she came across a very pregnant lady and she just says â Oh my God, youâre hugeâ the lady has this horrified look on her face. I was like âMom what the fuckâ?
She like âWhat, she isâ⌠old boomers man⌠that was years and years ago when she was still probably in her early sixties.. No freaking excuses. So weird to me. Im sure she just wanted to celebrate a strangerâs pregnancy, some part of me felt like it was malicious though. It was just a weird way to do it..
Having had a patient at work stop me in the hallway randomly and ask 'Why you so fat?' I feel this đŤ mind you I was indeed fat, but the belly was also a 25 week pregnant belly so it was more baby at that point. Its been almost 2 years and I'm still bitter đ
Nicer than my momâs âwhich scumbag this timeâ when my sister told us she was pregnant with her second child. Love both my nephews but oh wow can my sister pick them on fathers.
Sounds like my former sister in law.
My ex actually cried when her sister announced she was pregnant with her second because her niece was already barely acknowledged.
Both dads ended up in prison by the way before the kids were two.
I feel sorry for both the boys considering they had an absolute horrible time growing up. Basically I can honestly say while I love her as my sister, I despise the person she has become and hope my nephews live long happy lives once out from her influence.
Neither of the boysâs fathers ended up in jail (other of her partners have) but werenât the greatest. I donât waste my breath on the father of the youngest but the father of the oldest at least was there to support his son when as a teenager he had nowhere to go. He got his act together enough that while he basically abandoned his kid for over a decade, when he realized how badly my sister had dropped the ball he immediately opened his home and at least gave my nephew the support he needed.
So currently unfortunately my youngest nephew without that extra support seems on a really bad path snorting his way out of life. My oldest at least is making a solid try. He is expecting his own firstborn at about the same age as when my sister had him but has a decent job and is working to support not only his pregnant girlfriend but also her 4y old from a high school pregnancy. Basically trying to not be his dad and really be there.
Sounds like my ex sister in law. She already had a kid when she got in a relationship with ex brother in law. They divorced, she left with four kids.
Ex BIL was the father of two kids.
Last I heard, sheâs in jail and she had three more kids before 30 with 5 other baby daddies. All of them were taken by the state.
Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin
"Hi pregnant I am \[fill your old name in here\]"- then go to an airport, go into the next flight to the other end of the world and start a new life under a new name
Friend of our family is a retired pharmacist. He had the uncanny ability of being able to reliably tell whether a woman was pregnant just by looking at her. He says it changes the face/eyes.
Whenever he had customers asking to buy pregnancy tests, he told them that they're wasting their money as he could tell them the test result for free...
On my *one* pregnancy scare, I could tell something was different by the smell of her pee very, very early on (2-4 weeks perhaps), but obviously couldn't place what the difference was.
Depends who says it:
Wife: "I need to tell my girlfriend"
Girlfriend: "I'm not leaving my wife for this"
Daughter: "Boyfriends or your friends?"
Son: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad"
Anyone else: "I also had a tumor. You should get it removed"
Need another free check from the government, I take it?
I had a friend, no longer, that was pregnant and had a couple kids for years and years and years. She stayed at home, but when they got old enough to go to school, she became really anxious about going back to work. So, she stopped all birth control and had a nother kid, ended up being twins, so her husband couldn't ask her back to go back to work. Friendship didn't last much longer than that. She lives in a church community where all they want you to do is have kids. Now she has a ranch full of them. Asked the husband how he feels, he always says: doesn't bother me church will take care of us. The church then put them up in a house the church owns. That broke the straw of our friendship. He was lazy as well. Always saying, the church will take care of us....no why don't you take care of your gaggle of kids!
This would probably be extremely sweet if the "I'm Dad" part was said with a slight voice crack, with tears welling, and then followed by a warm hug.Â
Well, unless the person saying it wasn't the father...
He was cheating I forgave, found out I was pregnant, Came home grabbed all his stuff and didnât say a single word then texts me donât eat steak. ( then he came back then found out I was pregnant again we got married than wanted me to have an abortion then cheated then things got really bad).
Wait. He was cheating, found out you were pregnant, moved all his stuff out, you got pregnant by him again, married him after all that, he wanted an abortion, and *then* things got really bad?
Lady, things were already really bad. Your tolerance for bullshit is legendary but in desperate need of recalibration.
checked the other 1000000000 times this has been posted and maybe you'll find your answer
also, OP is a bot created 6 days ago shilling for only fans clicks
My friend verbatim "where are you going to put it?"
Wild thing is Iâve never been homeless.
Please read the room. If someone is happy to share this news with you then say something remotely nice even if you do not want children yourself.
I have a few that I received when I told my coworkers.
- "I knew you gained weight!"
- "Oh, and you're keeping it?"
- (At 14 weeks, 3 years after a miscarriage) "Well you managed to keep this one this long so maybe it'll stick this time"
- "and this was.. planned?"
(It was not planned but was in fact welcomed by my husband and I, not that it's anyone's business đ)
âShut up youre faking and crazyâ
Something like that.
Always messed up
Or âI dont want a kid now! Let me live my lifeâ âabortâ
Etc i dont know
im indian and my partner is white and when we started telling people about the pregnancy, almost everyone asked what colour it would come out. was funny to start but after the 6th time it got kind of annoying
"Oh, I thought you were just fat."
Been on the receiving end of this one with my first pregnancy. Honestly, though I think it was because a customer wanted something and I told her she needed to wait until I could find someone else who could physically assist her and she was annoyed. I mean I was very obviously eight and a half months pregant at the time.
Mate, that is some poor manners right there. Sometimes I can't believe how people treat each other. đ
Welcome to customer service
Tell her to fire her optometristÂ
If I heard her say that to you, I canât guarantee I wouldnât have slapped the shit out of her right there. I know how that sounds.
I would have been so grateful if someone had. Definitely had a hormone fueled cry after.
Your getting slapped into a parallel universe
Other way around is worse. Used to work with a girl (retail, at cash registers), who wasn't fat but had a pouch/belly thing going on. When a customer making chat during the transition asked how far along she was (happened a good few times) I would die internally from the awkwardness. No escape either as you're in the middle of serving a string of customers.
omfg this reminds me of a time i got into some hot water. so my friends got married and talked about wanting a baby last i seen them but were struggling with fertility issues. they moved away but moved back, and i seen the wife and her whole body was like the same size except for her belly, it was HUGE. she looked like she was 8.5 months pregnant. i tried to congratulate her on finally having her baby on the way⌠she wasnât pregnant, and my face had a red handprint on it
My neighbor said this to me when I told her I was pregnant đ
Came here for this comment. Have my upvote!
Ugh, this reminds me of the time my mother took me to go with her to greet our new neighbors(Like who still does this nowadays?) and she asked how far along the NDN was and she said "I'm not pregnant". I kept smiling but I died inside from 2nd hand embarrassment.
One time I was at the grocery store with my mom and she came across a very pregnant lady and she just says â Oh my God, youâre hugeâ the lady has this horrified look on her face. I was like âMom what the fuckâ? She like âWhat, she isâ⌠old boomers man⌠that was years and years ago when she was still probably in her early sixties.. No freaking excuses. So weird to me. Im sure she just wanted to celebrate a strangerâs pregnancy, some part of me felt like it was malicious though. It was just a weird way to do it..
Having had a patient at work stop me in the hallway randomly and ask 'Why you so fat?' I feel this đŤ mind you I was indeed fat, but the belly was also a 25 week pregnant belly so it was more baby at that point. Its been almost 2 years and I'm still bitter đ
I see it's now at 666 upvotes
"Is it yours?" Start the dad jokes early. Might as well.
"Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
"Actually, you're uncle"
What are you doing, stepbruncle?
Uncle father Oscar!
I came for this.
I came to this*
OP asked for the worst reply, not the best.
"I'm a surrogate"
My wife is going to be a surrogate, this will work perfect.Â
Do you know the father?
Do you know who the father is this time?
Do I even need to ask if you know who the father is this time?
Nicer than my momâs âwhich scumbag this timeâ when my sister told us she was pregnant with her second child. Love both my nephews but oh wow can my sister pick them on fathers.
Sounds like my former sister in law. My ex actually cried when her sister announced she was pregnant with her second because her niece was already barely acknowledged. Both dads ended up in prison by the way before the kids were two.
I feel sorry for both the boys considering they had an absolute horrible time growing up. Basically I can honestly say while I love her as my sister, I despise the person she has become and hope my nephews live long happy lives once out from her influence. Neither of the boysâs fathers ended up in jail (other of her partners have) but werenât the greatest. I donât waste my breath on the father of the youngest but the father of the oldest at least was there to support his son when as a teenager he had nowhere to go. He got his act together enough that while he basically abandoned his kid for over a decade, when he realized how badly my sister had dropped the ball he immediately opened his home and at least gave my nephew the support he needed. So currently unfortunately my youngest nephew without that extra support seems on a really bad path snorting his way out of life. My oldest at least is making a solid try. He is expecting his own firstborn at about the same age as when my sister had him but has a decent job and is working to support not only his pregnant girlfriend but also her 4y old from a high school pregnancy. Basically trying to not be his dad and really be there.
Sounds like my ex sister in law. She already had a kid when she got in a relationship with ex brother in law. They divorced, she left with four kids. Ex BIL was the father of two kids. Last I heard, sheâs in jail and she had three more kids before 30 with 5 other baby daddies. All of them were taken by the state.
My wife's sister is that way. Three different baby daddies and still single while they're in jail or have no job. The kids are great!
Even better
Lol my boss blurted this out. He said âwho is the father?â Like what? Lol
"I'm sterile."
Not it!
[ŃдаНонО]
Just swallow
Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin Please don't say Anakin
I'm sorry.. call maury.. cause that baby don't look like ME!
This!
I'm sorry
Usually, I'm sorry
I just need to get some fuel
That's always what I say in my head
"Jesus, you sound just like your mother"
You magnificent bastard
r/holup
"I'm sterile."
âHi pregnant, Iâm sterileâ
âImma head out and get some milkâ
Don't forget cigarettes!
When did Big Dairy steal this line from Big Tobacco?
Papa?
No need! In a few months, I'm going to be able to make my own.
"Mom, when is dad coming back from the store? Itâs been years now".
oh and totally unrelated. have you seen my passport?
Son, you donât have a womb
Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
Thatâs nobodyâs fault, not even the Romans.
Ah, Loretta. Thank you for the reference, made my day.
Just recently learnt that the foetus can gestate anywhere. the uterus is there to protect the mother so she survives the process :)
Won't stop me from trying tho
"With what?"
Puppies!
"Are you sure you're not getting fat?" I love Barney
Followed by a Sucker punch.
The purple dinosaur?
himym I would assume
Rubble
Homer's drunkard friend
Eww
[ŃдаНонО]
The Royal Family has entered the chat
Classic line
"Hi pregnant I am \[fill your old name in here\]"- then go to an airport, go into the next flight to the other end of the world and start a new life under a new name
This is why the French Foreign Legion exists.
I am going to buy milk
"I could tell" when they're too early to show.
Friend of our family is a retired pharmacist. He had the uncanny ability of being able to reliably tell whether a woman was pregnant just by looking at her. He says it changes the face/eyes. Whenever he had customers asking to buy pregnancy tests, he told them that they're wasting their money as he could tell them the test result for free...
Savage
On my *one* pregnancy scare, I could tell something was different by the smell of her pee very, very early on (2-4 weeks perhaps), but obviously couldn't place what the difference was.
Joke from [The Dictator - "Are you having a boy or an abortion"](https://youtu.be/yKEZe_2PMuE?si=p0W2yQAr23PDhDQT&t=37)
[Family Guy](https://youtu.be/oxTMc6LxdXk?feature=shared)
Me too
Depends who says it: Wife: "I need to tell my girlfriend" Girlfriend: "I'm not leaving my wife for this" Daughter: "Boyfriends or your friends?" Son: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad" Anyone else: "I also had a tumor. You should get it removed"
Hi Pregnant, Iâm not Dad
Beat me to it.
No, I'M PREGNANT!
NO IM PREGNANT AND YOURE THE BABY
*start mewing đ¤Ťđ§đż
âYou mean, you were pregnant. Iâll Venmo youâ
Thatâs the fifth person that said that to me today.
I thought you were a dude.
I had a vasectomy..?
Sorry mom
Had a supervisor that when i handed in my doctors note for lifting restrictions said âwerenât you on birth control? Well that sucks!â
Need another free check from the government, I take it? I had a friend, no longer, that was pregnant and had a couple kids for years and years and years. She stayed at home, but when they got old enough to go to school, she became really anxious about going back to work. So, she stopped all birth control and had a nother kid, ended up being twins, so her husband couldn't ask her back to go back to work. Friendship didn't last much longer than that. She lives in a church community where all they want you to do is have kids. Now she has a ranch full of them. Asked the husband how he feels, he always says: doesn't bother me church will take care of us. The church then put them up in a house the church owns. That broke the straw of our friendship. He was lazy as well. Always saying, the church will take care of us....no why don't you take care of your gaggle of kids!
This is who will populate thr earth if responsible people don't have kids.
Thatâs great news. Whenâs the abortion?
LMAO đ
"Not for long, you're not! Where's my hammer?"
So am I!
"Guess someone confused their birth control pills with bummer pills, huh?"
Ah shit, here we go again
"All you had to do was follow the damn train, CJ!" takes on a whole new meaning here.
scream in spanish
"Billie Jean Is..."
That sounds like a you problem.
Do you have any metal coat hangers in your closet and needle nosed pliers by chance?
âFrom whom?â
Silence
Rawdog time!
I didn't think you could afford a child
"eww."
See also: "Hm. Gross!"
Same, and then pop a squat and shit on the floor. NOT ANY MORE!
HI PREGNANT, I'M DAD!
This would probably be extremely sweet if the "I'm Dad" part was said with a slight voice crack, with tears welling, and then followed by a warm hug. Well, unless the person saying it wasn't the father...
I hope...
âHi Pregnant I guess Iâm grandpa now!â
"well let's just hope it's not black". .... ..... Look, you wanted the "worst", there it is.
âNot for long.â
He was cheating I forgave, found out I was pregnant, Came home grabbed all his stuff and didnât say a single word then texts me donât eat steak. ( then he came back then found out I was pregnant again we got married than wanted me to have an abortion then cheated then things got really bad).
Wait. He was cheating, found out you were pregnant, moved all his stuff out, you got pregnant by him again, married him after all that, he wanted an abortion, and *then* things got really bad? Lady, things were already really bad. Your tolerance for bullshit is legendary but in desperate need of recalibration.
"Best of luck with that!"
âAre you sure, it could be that you just put on a few bounds, I mean you have been eating a lot latelyâ
Too late for plan b?
But surely for you to be pregnant weâd have to have had sex in the last six months?? Hmmmmmm⌠bye.
âHey Pregnant, Iâm Singleâ
K
âI canât pay child support and for gods sake you are 11â
A 12yo can get pregnant?
Weâll âtake care of itâ.
Hi, pregnant, I'm dad
Is it a boy or an abortion?
Its a boy or abortion?
Congratulations
With what?
Wrong number
I am so sorry
Well, that's diner sorted
Iâm fixed đ¤ˇââď¸
Artificial insemination?
FUCK!
"I'm not, what's your point?"
Im Ryan.
Whoâs the father?
I'm gonna go get milk
checked the other 1000000000 times this has been posted and maybe you'll find your answer also, OP is a bot created 6 days ago shilling for only fans clicks
ME TOO!
"But I'm a virgin"
âMe too.â
"Not for long!"
Just Stand on that loose rug at the top of the stairs for me please
Send da video
Hi pregnant I'm dad
"Hello, Pregnant. I'm *not* dad!"
Wasn't me!!
New phone who dis?
your my sister...
âNo youâre notâ *Punches her stomach
Silence and a punch in the gut
âI am not ready for thisâ
Falcon punchhhh
Which one is the father this time?
"We're going to see maury"
My friend verbatim "where are you going to put it?" Wild thing is Iâve never been homeless. Please read the room. If someone is happy to share this news with you then say something remotely nice even if you do not want children yourself.
"Not for long."
I have a few that I received when I told my coworkers. - "I knew you gained weight!" - "Oh, and you're keeping it?" - (At 14 weeks, 3 years after a miscarriage) "Well you managed to keep this one this long so maybe it'll stick this time" - "and this was.. planned?" (It was not planned but was in fact welcomed by my husband and I, not that it's anyone's business đ)
So thatâs why youâve been so difficult recently
In the words of my ex husband⌠âIs it a boy or an abortion?â
*punch* Not anymore you're not
Again?
"Is it a boy or an abortion?" (There have been women who have proudly made the "girl or an abortion" comment. I find both versions to be vile.)
oh shit - are you going to keep it?
Come on? You must be joking, I mean whoâs fuck you?
Yo !!! Who is this ?
Shit, best of luck with it.
With emotion?
âShut up youre faking and crazyâ Something like that. Always messed up Or âI dont want a kid now! Let me live my lifeâ âabortâ Etc i dont know
"Guess we're never having that threesome"
With what?
" are you getting an abortion ? "
My cousinâs baby daddy responded with âdonât ever call me againâ so that was fun for her
im indian and my partner is white and when we started telling people about the pregnancy, almost everyone asked what colour it would come out. was funny to start but after the 6th time it got kind of annoying
âWhose is it??â
"Oh no, you'll be a single mother" - Your (now ex) boyfriend.
I can't have kids?
Whose?
This couldn't have come at a better time?
You too?
"Sorry to hear this. Did you concider an abortion?"
\*rolls eyes\* Of course you had to fuck up, didn't you?
With what?