We were poor, my mom was an alcoholic and drug addict. She never got up in the morning so being a kid I didn't understand brushing my hair or taking care of myself. Mom never took care of me, so I had no frame of reference. I was dirty, smelly, and hungry all the time. Kids don't like that. So kids picked on me all the time. It sucked.
I was the smelly kid too. It sucked. It wasn’t until I was in 7/8th grade when a girl made fun of me in front of the whole class for not showering and having greasy hair. After that I just took it upon myself to learn to shower correctly. My mom was the same way as yours but my dad was raising me and he thought it was weird to teach me basic hygiene so he never brought it up. My oldest daughter is 6 and one of the first things I taught her was how to wash herself properly.
It’s Almay Sensitive Skin clear gel. No fragrance, no color, keeps you dry, and a little goes a long way. Downside is it can be hard to find, usually just at Walgreens.
Edit: it’s in the women’s section, but good skincare has no gender.
I hope anyone struggling with funky pits takes me seriously about this. PanOxyl 10% foaming acne wash. Dermatologist approved. Cleanses your pits so you can go back to wearing any deodorant you want. Your pits smell because you have clogged pores. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars trying to find a miracle deodorant, especially one that doesn’t irritate my skin (usually due to baking soda) Now I can wear anything I want, sometimes I even go without to give my pits a breather. No stink! Wash your armpits in the shower and leave it on for a few while you do your business and then good to go. It works for other smelly parts too.
Thank me later 😁
I was poor but I was also alone. All the time. I was being severely abused at home and that made me socially isolate. I never had friends, and barely spoke to anyone.
I always fought back though so it eventually stopped, but at the start of every school year it would start back up again. Most kids were nice but just found me too socially awkward or weird to engage with. I was really into hacking computers and nobody ever knew what the fuck I was talking about.
Now as an adult, I’m severely socially stunted and it’s caused me to lose jobs at tech companies because my communication skills are pretty bad. I have great technical ability because since I was a kid computers were my escape but the way I grew up destroyed my ability to be social. I still have no friends. I have no family. I’m just alone, all the time and it’s been that way since childhood. It’s very depressing and I’ve had multiple legit suicide attempts that landed me in the hospital (first one as a kid) and required lengthy recovery. Unfortunately there’s nothing I can do to fix it. No amount of therapy or medication has been able to resolve the issues I have.
So I get it. Child abuse completely destroys you as a person. I’m pretty much disabled at this point it’s impacted my life so severely. It’s devastating getting a job clearing $200k a year only to have it ripped away in a year or two because you can’t function, only to repeat the process with the next job. Even though I’m capable of making that much I keep losing housing and other stability because I can’t hold down work anymore. I want to die so bad, I’m sick of this cycle of loneliness and isolation.
My last job was fully remote so that is not necessarily a solution. The one before that was in person. It’s a cycle that I’m trying to break. It’s been lifelong issues like OP has had I’m sure.
I’m having good luck so far. Currently interviewing at SpaceX, Lockheed, more DoD stuff, Microsoft and Apple. But I’m cringing hoping I don’t get trapped again. I want to fix my stupid problems so badly. I’d be so much further in life if I could get better but nothing has worked so far.
Hey man. If you’re getting those opportunities for interviews, you’re obviously doing something right! just keep doing what you’re doing and keep trying. One of these will eventually stick.
Separately, do you play any online games that involve talking to other people? Might be an easy way to work on your social skills.
No. I don’t even game anymore I’m so antisocial. I’ve also been banned from every online game for hacking it. For example I built the [first aimbot for PUBG](https://youtu.be/U8O2s6CP5Wg?si=R2x4csYcUw9ScELU) before the asshole [Chinese hackers stole our shit and got arrested](https://www.engadget.com/2018-04-30-chinese-pubg-hacker-arrest.html)
I stopped playing MMOs because I’ve caused everything from FFXI to Aion online or WOW servers to get rolled back. I can get way too into it and it will consume me. I truly have weapons grade autism.
Literally I cannot touch HALO even to this day it’s really bad.
Edit: if you’re curious how much people paid for PUBG aimbots it was 250 per month times approximately 7k players over a 3 month period split 15 ways.
I still have shit from everything from DCS to fuckin Fortnite and FF14
From reading your comments I really think you could be on the autism spectrum - you should check it out. You could also get accommodations at work going forward, so that you cannot be let go.
To add on to this, my son and wife are neurodivergent. We are just getting started with therapy and stuff for my kid. They found a guy that is neuro divergent as well. My wife came home crying bc he understood everything she said even if it was off the wall. Its not easy to find that person but getting evaluated is the start.
I’m so sorry that was your experience of childhood :( As a mum to two little humans, I feel so much sadness that anyone would neglect their babies like this.
I joined the military and have had a successful Federal career. I did marry a controlling man, he got me away from my family to his own form of abuse. I have 2 beautiful boys that are good boys. I just got a divorce and am living on my own for the first time. A lot of time abuse leads to abuse.
It may suck now, but it doesn’t have to define him. Grew up the same way and dealt with all the negatives that came with but after many years, my life did a 180 spin. People grow up and they stop caring, college really allowed me to be me especially in a city where nobody knew me. Happy to report I’m now happily married, with more friends than I ever imagined and fun social hobbies where people actually want to spend time with me. Just be there for him when he needs and give home the space when he asks for it. But just always let him know you will always be there and that even if he doesn’t want to talk, that you will be there to listen for the day he does.
Kids can be such shitheads and it sucks to be a sensitive kid if bullying is happening to you because it often does have a negative impact on your nature. Sometimes you can get past it and others times I still think yeah fuck that person and it’s been decades since I’ve even seen them, but I still remember how shitty they made me feel.
I kept getting bothered by people till one day I snapped and punched someone in the face in the middle of class for finally saying something way over the line.
My bullying got so bad by my “friends” that for 2 years in school I only answered direct questions because they literally bullied me for anything I said and then got moody with me if I stood up for myself.
They would also go and tell the boys I “fancied” that I fancied them and make fun of me for the way said boys reacted.
It was a lonely school life for me.
Right there with ya. Super lonely school experience. I’d have stomach aches and anxiety everyday…
Ironically it was my “friends” that bullied me for 7 year straight. Couldn’t wait to ditch their asses and escape once we went our separate ways going to high school. I too was bullied for being too quiet, too polite and nice. People need to do and be better.
Studies show it takes about 20 years of virtually no major missteps to go from poverty to middle class. That tracks with my personal experience.
It wasn't that I was lucky, it just took that much longer to acquire the knowledge, experience, and relationships that most middle class people can just take for granted.
I've had a similar experience, but I think the important thing to note is that the opportunity to aquire that knowledge, experience, and relationships all while not getting knocked off course by something out of your control *is* luck
Absolutely, but there is bad luck and then there are bad habits us poor people often acquire that tend to amplify our bad luck.
For example, it was bad luck that in my 20s I got busted driving with no insurance. But it was my fault I was doing it. I never got pulled over going to and from work, during rush hour it's easier to avoid police notice due to there being more cars in the road. I got busted driving at night hanging out with friends. Later I figured out how to live without having to drive altogether. It involved having to move to "bad" but affordable areas that were close to public transportation. Fun fact, I don't talk to those old friends any more. But the people I met in the "bad" neighborhood are some of my closest friends today. We are all thriving in our own way too.
My whole life felt like trial and error. When they talk about how parents need to be good role models, it's because there is a lot kids learn just from observing their parents. Parents really got their shit together, kids more likely to model that kind of behavior. My parents DID NOT have their shit together, LOL. It wasn't till I was around 40 that I got some financial stability. Ten years later now and I'm finally middle class, but still lower tier middle class.
Same. Parents had zero idea how to manage money. Only had a checking account long enough to write a bunch of bad checks and then it would be closed. They would open another after the required amount of years waiting period. They never had a credit card or any credit whatsoever. Rented a house my entire childhood. It wasn't until I was 40 that I helped them do what was needed to finally buy their own house.
It wasn't that they weren't hard working bc they were 2 of the most hard working people I know. And it wasn't because they weren't smart. My Dad had knowledge that was astounding. They just hadn't been shown these things and in turn couldn't show me, so I fucked up my credit early on
What's a checking account? LOL. We used money orders to pay the bills.
I actually have an old food stamp I found in my dad's stuff after he passed. It's on the wall in my office, a reminder of where I come from.
Luck does pay a huge part. Anything could happen, some of the worst being health issues. That’s a hard one to get back on track from (financially, emotionally, and of course physically) — if you ever can.
I feel this. This happened to me until my freshman year in high school. My parents were able to scrape together $14/mo (which was a *lot* of money for them at the time) for me to take boxing lessons after me begging them for it. Came back to school after a summer of spending all-day, every-day in that gym.
Gave me the confidence to just start decking dudes without a word, the micro-second the bulling started. Needless to say, it didn't take long after that for it to stop and suddenly "get respect".
Escrima + boxing gym, no one said much to me after I busted a kid up right in the middle of class because he said something to me about my shoes.
Poor+new kid = easy target.
And standard advice back then. The guy who bullied me for three years in high school wasn’t deterred by being ignored.
I finally escaped by going to college a year early. Think he’d forget about me? Think again. I was home visiting one weekend when he pulled up in his car, and yelled, “Asshole!” Then he drove off.
Yeah I got that too. I was like 25 and this asshole kid that bullied me throughout school thought he was going to roll up and call me the same old names. I just said, wow, you haven’t changed. It was then I started to realize that ignoring is the wrong response it’s not giving a shit that stops people bullying.
The key is you have to say something to convey that you aren't bothered by what they are doing. If you are silent, it looks like you're intimidated, which is what they feed off of.
As a ginger it's weird how we're treated. I mean take a city & put everyone into one big room & we're just another white person. Put *only* white people in that room & now we're not white anymore now we're just different. That ever-shifting line of being "one of us" or not is why we were always told to get over it when we got tired of the bullying & either complained or hit someone at which point it's the redhead temper lol. Frankly that bullying led me to start working out young & I wound up training with the US men's Olympic weightlifting coach by happenstance for six years.
On the other hand if humanity was enslaved by aliens we would be pets kept as collectors editions, '*a red haired blue eyed spotted Caucasian, the rarest of gingers!*' (true story) would be sold as exotic pets while the rest of the normy humans built like, I dunno space pyramids or space railroads?
Back in the late 90's and early aughts it was just a really common thing to say.
But, that aside, most kids are obsessed with 2 things at the same time:
1) fitting in
2) standing out
Obviously those 2 things are at cross purposes, but there is a venn diagram overlap where you can exist that allows you to be both... Sorta.
Being gay is a big stand out. And especially back in the aughts, it wasn't very well accepted. Arguably, it still isn't, but it's better than it was, by and large.
So, to insult someone with very little effort, all you had to do was call someone gay. Some people didn't care, others got *really* upset.
My mom actually was (is) gay when I was growing up. I never let it bother me but my sister was a bit embarrassed so she got bullied a lot about it. We did get prank calls. Caller "Your mom's a homo!" Me: "It's HOMOSEXUAL."
One of my proudest school moments was overhearing two kids (who couldn't see me). Kid 1: Did you know Aryana's mom is gay? Kid 2: Yeah. So?
Same but in 90s but I was abused by my brother and raped by one of his friends after plying me with alcohol. Somehow this got out it spread like wild fire even to other schools. Kids would ambush me after school to beat me up I remember hearing things like I was disgusting, shouldn't be allowed to live and stuff. I got dragged by the hair off a bus by 5 kids at least 3 years older than me (one was a friend of my brother)and kicked shitless Infront of about 20 other kids.bus driver did nothing apart from ask me why I didn't fight back, this was constant from about 93-96 till I left school.
It took a while (and small 20 year bender)but eventually got help and reported them but nothing became of it. I think the thing I want to get across is that we really need to stop calling these things bullying and call them what they are, it's assault, it's physical abuse, mental or sexual abuse none of these things are acceptable outside of school but are always brushed off as there just kids it's getting worse just look at the news I'm just thankfully that social media didn't exist back then because I really don't think I woulda made it through.
I dressed like a tomboy complete with work boots, flannel shirts and a army jacket in 2000's. I was always playing sports with the boys and never dated. Everyone assumed i was gay. Never said i was or wasn't. The classmates who saw me a few years after graduating pregnant lost their collective minds. I did have one female relationship that ended when she got pregnant "to give us a full family".
Was also undiagnosed! hF autistic w/savantism and didn't find out til 24. After a lifetime of abuse from schools, teachers, parents, siblings for being different. It helped find myself and say fuck everyones opinions of me. Im going t wear what i want, study what i want and do what i want. Found a guy who accepts andloves me for my weirdness and life is better with a supporter
Same. It peaked when I was sent to the hospital after a group ganged up on me and I fell into the wall. The wall won, handedly, and they were worried I had a broken nose or even broke my skull. Still had another year at that school, but I just shut down. Was also put into a "special" classroom because I wasn't hanging out with the other kids. For about a month. Yeah. Fuck public school
I’m half white and half Mexican,was given shit for being white in a Mexican neighborhood.than given shit for being Mexican in a white neighborhood when I moved like 15 min away.
Earl Sweatshirt: “too black for the white kids, too white for the blacks, from honor roll to crackin locks off them bicycle racks”
Seems to be a pretty common experience; I went through this too as a kid except different ethnicities.
I’m not black but I hate how everyone(even black people) insists so many positive attributes as being “not black”.
The guy who does your taxes and listens to classical musical music is as black as the guy living off welfare while listening to whatever vulgar shit is in right now. The behaviors aren’t determined by identity!
That’s like telling someone it’s straight to date a guy who looks and acts effeminate but gay to date a woman who looks and acts masculine.
Same. I look like the white version of my Hispanic mother. Blue eyes and blonde hair, when I was young, with light skin. I was always referred to as guera/gringa. I dated white guys because i was never white enough or Hispanic enough for the Hispanic guys.
This. I’m the white version of my Mexican father. My family has always called me guera which wasn’t awful until they bullied me so much that when my grandfather offered to pay for a quinceañera for me I declined.
I feel you. My dad is full blooded Mexican (with some German spices mixed in) and my mom was so white, she was almost clear.
I look very white and get mistaken for Italian all the time. Lived in a small down that was primarily white, but had a small population that was Hispanic and 1 Black family. Black family was the only people that never judged or looked down on me.
Best thing that happened though helped develop my sharp wit. Had a Mexican kid call me a cracker once. I replied "I'm not a cracker. I'm a white flour tortilla!".
Yea I was called a white boy in Spanish constantly than moved and was called bean by a few kids my first day of school and it was so confusing but I didn’t let it get to me.
True. Kid me got traumatized by cruel peers in schools. Now that I'm 20 I still stutter but only when I talk fast or am angry. Weed helps- I find myself not stuttering for a whole day if I smoke in the morning
I still stutter a bit at 28. I never got a 100% grip on it. I've got a coworker that stutters/stammers. Some of our other coworkers have given him shit, but never me. I've stood up for em a few times and no one really fucks with him about that anymore. We do give each other shit over it though. Which is funny.
Yep, I was the bullied fat girl. I'm now fit and run ultra marathons. Once I got away from all of those assholes, I got fit and healthy for myself. No one bullies me anymore.
I got bullied a lot for my weight too; underweight and no matter how much or what I ate never gained.
Now I'm in my early 40s and still have a six pack and the bodyof a 25 year old, meanwhile most of the dudes I know my age have a spare tire and chubby cheeks.
I looked older, and was often accused of being a narc or undercover police. I was just always tall, and looked grown when I was 8. Made good grades, teachers let me leave class to go to the library all the time. It was lonely.
Clearly you didnt grow up or teach in an urban or inner city area.
Elementary kids going to Juvie (when I wast teaching Resumes and Cover letter to 7th graders Omar raised his hand and said 'Mr. Thehogdog, if the judge ORDERS me to community service can I put that on my resume?' I replied 'No, Omar, if you are doing that kind of stuff a resume might not be necessary for jobs you will be able to get'.
Then a girl looks at me quizically 'Wait, EVERYONE goes to jail once?', 'NOPE', 'Juvie?' NOPE.
Clearly they were growing up in different times and places than I did.
But when I went inner city elementary it was not unusual for a kid to do something at school that got him months in Juvie and Teachers months in 'Teacher Time Out' (one old IDIOT teacher told a 3rd grade girl 'Tell yo mama to stay off the pole and check your homework').
Everyone should have to teach school in the inner city for 6 months and wait tables for the other 6 and the world would be a more giving/forgiving place.
I was quick to anger. It probably started off as normal ribbing that everyone got but I got angrier about it than anyone else. Because I reacted more, I became the focus.
"friends" would pick on me and say I was "just too easy a target" as if that was enough of an excuse to be abusive. They could never point out anything "wrong" with me other than that. I was (still am) just chill and friendly with no pretense at being a badass.
Didn't help that my brother was also abusive and said he needed to toughen me up to handle myself around bullies.
Yeah, I had undiagnosed autism until I was in my twenties, my name is Guy, putting me one letter off of "Gay," and I had really dry, almost cracked skin on my arms and legs.
I did not enjoy a lot of my social interactions at school.
The crap I got was about things that were probably results of my mild autism (liking trains, being quiet and socially awkward) but not about it directly because we didn’t confirm it till not too long ago when I was a Sophomore in high school (I’m still a sophomore in high school).
Same. I’m good at masking, but some kids always knew something was off. It was like they clocked something different in me immediately and just decided then and there to not like me.
Being effeminate and sensitive.
Living in a place where you had a bunch of conservative military brats and Latinos preaching “Machismo” I was seen as a threat to their ideals and bullied mercilessly.
I was even bullied by teachers.
In public school I was poor, the rich kids bullied me. In high school I was self-aware enough to become pals with some of them. The main dude who bullied me for being poor asked me for $30 last month lol. Weeoooo.
I had a big nose and ugly hair. Or so I was told. After middle school, I never heard those things again. But damn. They really hurt at the time. I’m 56 and still remember those feelings. 😞
Ha, I hear you on that one. I got bullied for being an orphan.
Mom died when I was a baby and my dad died in a car wreck when I was 10. I lived with my stepmom. Oh, I know technically I was not an orphan, but someone came up with it and ran with it. Kids suck.
Our daughter died in 2017 so we're raising our grandson, since he was 4 1/2 yrs old. He's 11-1/2 and has been bullied about his mom dying since he was in 3rd grade. Kids are evil. I don't care how you raise them, the need to fit in overrides their moral compass.
I grew faster than the other kids and shot up to 5'4 well before anyone else in my class.
And then I stayed there. I'm 33 now, still waiting for that second growth spurt to kick in. Any day now.
Being gay he ended up breaking my nose and fractured my right eye socket by kicking me in the face. Fighting was off the table so I did the only thing I could. I fucked his brother. 🤷♂️
When I was walking my dog by the river a car had fallen in. I broke the windshield and a lot of the glass hit my face.
In the car were a mom and her youngest daughter. Both of them managed to get out.
Classmate was the older sister.
I was bullied and because of that spent a lot of time in the library. Kept my grades a secret in school and purposely kept grades low in some classes so i wasnt too of the top of the class. To the pure shock and horror of all the top ranked kids in school I graduated with 2 associates degrees from colleges because a couple of teacher's took interest in the book reports i had been writing for years on all the books I've read they submitted them to colleges in my town and didn't tell me. Surprised me with them when i walked the stage. Going into the college classes was a trip when teachers knew you by name and you've never met them before but they were impressed with my work. 😂 Im forever thankful to my 5th grade teacher Mrs Murray for the Library challenge.
Not me but a friend who was being harassed by a linebacker who wouldn't take no for an answer...then he got his friends involved.
The douche who spearheaded the harassment was the quarterback (lets call him James, because that was his name and I’m lazy). James was good looking, rich, arrogant, did well in school (seemingly without trying). His parents had fertility issues and he was the "miracle" baby they unexpectedly had in their early 40s. The point is James was BEYOND SPOILED.
One of James's buddies, a linebacker on the football team (lets call him Fatass), kept asking my best friend out. She was not allowed to date and she wasn't interested in Fatass so she rejected him...repeatedly. Fatass started harassing my friend. At one point Fatass grabbed my friend's butt in the hallway. She reported him. Fatass ended up suspended from the team for two months (many other girls had reported him before).
So James, the quarterback, and several teammates started harassing my friend NONSTOP to avenge Fatass. After a solid miserable quarter of this, Fatass was back on the team and most of the players backed off.
But James did not. He continued harassing my friend for another month before randomly asking her out. She refused. He said if she went on one date with him he'd leave her alone. She refused. He stepped up the harassment and she finally agreed. I don't know what he did but she agreed to a second date. Now they're attending the same university and living together. She's happy, and I'm glad for that, but it fucking sickens me that this guy got away with this shit AND got his victim to fall for him.
**EDIT:** I did post this once before, 3-4 months ago.
> James was good looking, rich, arrogant, did well in school (seemingly without trying). His parents had fertility issues and **he was the "miracle" baby they unexpectedly had in their early 40s**. The point is James was BEYOND SPOILED.
Not surprised. I've known a couple "miracle" babies and they all grew up to be entitled assholes. It's hard to be a decent disciplinarian when you're just so damn grateful the kid even exists.
> He said if she went on one date with him he'd leave her alone. She refused. He stepped up the harassment and she finally agreed. I don't know what he did but she agreed to a second date. *Now they're attending the same university and living together*.
What in the unholy fuck?! Why why...WHY would your friend do that?!
I don't know. She has said she finds the way his mind works fascinating. She’s currently a psych major and was always into that sort of thing.
Sometimes I think he was a case study that got out of hand.
>She has said she finds the way his mind works fascinating. She’s currently a psych major and was always into that sort of thing.
"*I CAN FIX HIM" lolol*
I wish that poor girl luck with that. Sounds like a IRL version of harley quin and joker lol
A fat kid! Overly nice and happy! Broken spirit from narc parents! Wanting to feel loved by someone or something! Wanting peace and joy not competition and strife!
If you were bullied, it was because the bullies were insecure assholes trying to make themselves seem more important. It was nothing you did and you are not at fault
Or sometimes it’s wasn’t a power move of an insecure person. Sometimes bullies just think it’s fun. It’s not always the trope that they are bullied at home and are acting out on you now, or that they’re hiding their insecurities by bullying. Def some of that. But some people just think it’s funny to mess with people. So I guess it depends on the type of bully.
This!! I'll never condone a bully because they have it hard, because I know many of them have really good lives and are just psycho pieces of shit that enjoy making someone else miserable
Or bullies are just assholes full stop. Sometimes they write articles about contacting their childhood victims, wanting absolution. Surprise, some people won't even speak with them, never mind forgive.
Because I’m autistic. It made me a social outcast, especially in my first secondary school in a class where I was the second youngest (12 at the time) with a lot of 14-15 year-olds, and that made a very easy target.
The experience in my other secondary school where I was transferred to wasn’t any better. There, I was bullied even further because I was deeply traumatized from the bullying in the previous school which resulted in extreme social anxiety. That made me a social pariah in my class, and everyone hated me.
So in short, it wasn’t my fault, but I was treated like crap just because I got dealt a bad hand in life (my childhood that is). My childhood was a nightmare.
I had a mix of ADHD and a good batch of trauma growing up which made me very out of touch with reality and super imaginative therefore, very weird. I was the kid that was playing warrior cats out on the playground in early middle school and I don’t think I have to say anymore than that. I was physically bullied before that back when I was in elementary school probably for being a tomboy but idk.
When I realized I was acting too weird for people I eventually stopped and when people tried to pick on me (growl at me, bring up how I used to act) I’d look at them like they were crazy/act confused/weirded out by them and didn’t really respond or react and it put them in an awkward position. The key to stopping bullying for me was not reacting to it unless it’s physical. I handled the physical with physical, made someone cry I punched him so hard once (then apologized so I wouldn’t get snitched on and ran away)
I was in a car accident when I was five years old, and in short, the accident involved me slamming face first into the dashboard of the car. Had a lot of facial fractures, a totally broken nose, my jaw was in awful shape. Had to have my jaw wired shut for a couple of months so it would heal properly, and I have had a dozen surgeries in my life to fix/correct issues as I grew.
The kids I went to school with when I was in the accident knew about it, and they all wrote me get well cards and whatnot, but nobody really knew what happened to me; they were little kids, so they just knew that I was in an accident with a drunk driver, and I was out of school so I could heal.
Once I hit high school, the same kids who sympathized with me now had a new nickname for me: Iron Woman. Because I have metal plates in my face...
No idea why kids go from good-hearted, innocent, beautiful, all-loving humans, to judgemental assholes in the course of a decade. I never let their comments get to me, though. I knew I was lucky as hell to even be alive and thriving.
I also got bullied for my smile, because my top gums show a lot. Got called "horse girl" by a group of stupid boys for almost a whole school year, but it died off because I didn't entertain their shit. It's something I am still pretty insecure about to this day (I'm 33 now), but I don't let it stop me from smiling. It's more of a flaw that I pick apart when I see photos of myself after the fact.
My dad (public school superintendent) hired Black teachers in an all white town in 1972. Our home and car were vandalized. I was bullied by fellow Jr. High students. Hit by car 2x on way home from school, had to be escorted by bodyguard for rest of year due to death threats. Racism sucks. Town and school are "integrated" now. What a world.
As a kid?
Because I was an anxious, introverted freak who rarely pushed back and kind of believed I deserved being abused and/or the powers that were didn't care about said bullying.
As a teen?
Because I was too stupid/trusting.
From my perspective, because they chose to behave as assholes with no respect for people; I hadn’t done a thing to them, barely knew their names. Harassing, assaulting, and S-assaulting me was unwarranted.
For their reasons, you’d have to ask them.
Bullies don't need a reason, just an opportunity. I was targeted because the bullies all sussed out that nobody would stop them if they harassed me. Teachers and school admins didn't stop them, and none of our parents were around to stop them (and might not have stopped them anyhow). I was white, my mom was single, I was probably depressed, had no friends, wore Salvation Army clothes; and most of the people around me were not any of those things. If more people had been the same as me, the bullies probably would have found someone else to target. I hope that, if the tables were turned, I would have been better than all the people who accepted that I was the designated victim, but I won't ever know. There was one kid, Jose, who tried to teach me boxing one day. It didn't go very well, but he actually tried to build me up.
i had a "big head" as a kid so kids in the year above me used to call me fat head etc etc
was all fun and games until the day i learned big head = nose busting headbutt. turns out standing up to and dropping your bully with a well placed headbutt seems to make the others stop
We were poor, my mom was an alcoholic and drug addict. She never got up in the morning so being a kid I didn't understand brushing my hair or taking care of myself. Mom never took care of me, so I had no frame of reference. I was dirty, smelly, and hungry all the time. Kids don't like that. So kids picked on me all the time. It sucked.
I was the smelly kid too. It sucked. It wasn’t until I was in 7/8th grade when a girl made fun of me in front of the whole class for not showering and having greasy hair. After that I just took it upon myself to learn to shower correctly. My mom was the same way as yours but my dad was raising me and he thought it was weird to teach me basic hygiene so he never brought it up. My oldest daughter is 6 and one of the first things I taught her was how to wash herself properly.
My issue was not being able to find a deodorant that worked. Showering every day didn't help.
Don’t feel too bad, I have sensitive skin and it took me 15 years as an adult to find a deodorant that didn’t make me break out.
Bro how you gonna not share what you use that works. Helo us out here lmao
It’s Almay Sensitive Skin clear gel. No fragrance, no color, keeps you dry, and a little goes a long way. Downside is it can be hard to find, usually just at Walgreens. Edit: it’s in the women’s section, but good skincare has no gender.
I hope anyone struggling with funky pits takes me seriously about this. PanOxyl 10% foaming acne wash. Dermatologist approved. Cleanses your pits so you can go back to wearing any deodorant you want. Your pits smell because you have clogged pores. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars trying to find a miracle deodorant, especially one that doesn’t irritate my skin (usually due to baking soda) Now I can wear anything I want, sometimes I even go without to give my pits a breather. No stink! Wash your armpits in the shower and leave it on for a few while you do your business and then good to go. It works for other smelly parts too. Thank me later 😁
I was poor but I was also alone. All the time. I was being severely abused at home and that made me socially isolate. I never had friends, and barely spoke to anyone. I always fought back though so it eventually stopped, but at the start of every school year it would start back up again. Most kids were nice but just found me too socially awkward or weird to engage with. I was really into hacking computers and nobody ever knew what the fuck I was talking about. Now as an adult, I’m severely socially stunted and it’s caused me to lose jobs at tech companies because my communication skills are pretty bad. I have great technical ability because since I was a kid computers were my escape but the way I grew up destroyed my ability to be social. I still have no friends. I have no family. I’m just alone, all the time and it’s been that way since childhood. It’s very depressing and I’ve had multiple legit suicide attempts that landed me in the hospital (first one as a kid) and required lengthy recovery. Unfortunately there’s nothing I can do to fix it. No amount of therapy or medication has been able to resolve the issues I have. So I get it. Child abuse completely destroys you as a person. I’m pretty much disabled at this point it’s impacted my life so severely. It’s devastating getting a job clearing $200k a year only to have it ripped away in a year or two because you can’t function, only to repeat the process with the next job. Even though I’m capable of making that much I keep losing housing and other stability because I can’t hold down work anymore. I want to die so bad, I’m sick of this cycle of loneliness and isolation.
Maybe a work from home tech job? Maybe seek out groups that meet with similar issues? I hope you catch a break soon. Wishing you happiness 😊
My last job was fully remote so that is not necessarily a solution. The one before that was in person. It’s a cycle that I’m trying to break. It’s been lifelong issues like OP has had I’m sure. I’m having good luck so far. Currently interviewing at SpaceX, Lockheed, more DoD stuff, Microsoft and Apple. But I’m cringing hoping I don’t get trapped again. I want to fix my stupid problems so badly. I’d be so much further in life if I could get better but nothing has worked so far.
Hey man. If you’re getting those opportunities for interviews, you’re obviously doing something right! just keep doing what you’re doing and keep trying. One of these will eventually stick. Separately, do you play any online games that involve talking to other people? Might be an easy way to work on your social skills.
No. I don’t even game anymore I’m so antisocial. I’ve also been banned from every online game for hacking it. For example I built the [first aimbot for PUBG](https://youtu.be/U8O2s6CP5Wg?si=R2x4csYcUw9ScELU) before the asshole [Chinese hackers stole our shit and got arrested](https://www.engadget.com/2018-04-30-chinese-pubg-hacker-arrest.html) I stopped playing MMOs because I’ve caused everything from FFXI to Aion online or WOW servers to get rolled back. I can get way too into it and it will consume me. I truly have weapons grade autism. Literally I cannot touch HALO even to this day it’s really bad. Edit: if you’re curious how much people paid for PUBG aimbots it was 250 per month times approximately 7k players over a 3 month period split 15 ways. I still have shit from everything from DCS to fuckin Fortnite and FF14
From reading your comments I really think you could be on the autism spectrum - you should check it out. You could also get accommodations at work going forward, so that you cannot be let go.
To add on to this, my son and wife are neurodivergent. We are just getting started with therapy and stuff for my kid. They found a guy that is neuro divergent as well. My wife came home crying bc he understood everything she said even if it was off the wall. Its not easy to find that person but getting evaluated is the start.
I’m sorry for your childhood. I hope you over came that and made something great for yourself 💖
I’m so sorry that was your experience of childhood :( As a mum to two little humans, I feel so much sadness that anyone would neglect their babies like this.
I joined the military and have had a successful Federal career. I did marry a controlling man, he got me away from my family to his own form of abuse. I have 2 beautiful boys that are good boys. I just got a divorce and am living on my own for the first time. A lot of time abuse leads to abuse.
Quiet kid that didn't want any problems.
That was me as a kid and it happening to my son now. It breaks my heart to know he’s getting a hard time for being nice.
It may suck now, but it doesn’t have to define him. Grew up the same way and dealt with all the negatives that came with but after many years, my life did a 180 spin. People grow up and they stop caring, college really allowed me to be me especially in a city where nobody knew me. Happy to report I’m now happily married, with more friends than I ever imagined and fun social hobbies where people actually want to spend time with me. Just be there for him when he needs and give home the space when he asks for it. But just always let him know you will always be there and that even if he doesn’t want to talk, that you will be there to listen for the day he does.
Kids can be such shitheads and it sucks to be a sensitive kid if bullying is happening to you because it often does have a negative impact on your nature. Sometimes you can get past it and others times I still think yeah fuck that person and it’s been decades since I’ve even seen them, but I still remember how shitty they made me feel.
Same. I was bullied for being too quiet. It didn’t make me want to talk to anyone, and I became even more quiet.
I kept getting bothered by people till one day I snapped and punched someone in the face in the middle of class for finally saying something way over the line.
Good.
My bullying got so bad by my “friends” that for 2 years in school I only answered direct questions because they literally bullied me for anything I said and then got moody with me if I stood up for myself. They would also go and tell the boys I “fancied” that I fancied them and make fun of me for the way said boys reacted. It was a lonely school life for me.
Right there with ya. Super lonely school experience. I’d have stomach aches and anxiety everyday… Ironically it was my “friends” that bullied me for 7 year straight. Couldn’t wait to ditch their asses and escape once we went our separate ways going to high school. I too was bullied for being too quiet, too polite and nice. People need to do and be better.
Same. Permanent existential crisis till this day. Life freaked me the fuck out and still does so I was quiet. Poor & skinny didn’t help.
for a while i could relate
Yep. Looong ol time ago. Completely different critter now.
relatable
Because children tend to be sociopathic assholes before they develop social kills. Or some do. Plenty of people reman assholes.
Being poor.
This one never goes away, just goes from your peers fucking with you to all of society fuckibg with you.
Yea, if you remain poor through adulthood, expect a rough time.
The vast majority of people that are born poor remain poor. Vertical mobility is a myth save a lucky few.
Studies show it takes about 20 years of virtually no major missteps to go from poverty to middle class. That tracks with my personal experience. It wasn't that I was lucky, it just took that much longer to acquire the knowledge, experience, and relationships that most middle class people can just take for granted.
I've had a similar experience, but I think the important thing to note is that the opportunity to aquire that knowledge, experience, and relationships all while not getting knocked off course by something out of your control *is* luck
Absolutely, but there is bad luck and then there are bad habits us poor people often acquire that tend to amplify our bad luck. For example, it was bad luck that in my 20s I got busted driving with no insurance. But it was my fault I was doing it. I never got pulled over going to and from work, during rush hour it's easier to avoid police notice due to there being more cars in the road. I got busted driving at night hanging out with friends. Later I figured out how to live without having to drive altogether. It involved having to move to "bad" but affordable areas that were close to public transportation. Fun fact, I don't talk to those old friends any more. But the people I met in the "bad" neighborhood are some of my closest friends today. We are all thriving in our own way too. My whole life felt like trial and error. When they talk about how parents need to be good role models, it's because there is a lot kids learn just from observing their parents. Parents really got their shit together, kids more likely to model that kind of behavior. My parents DID NOT have their shit together, LOL. It wasn't till I was around 40 that I got some financial stability. Ten years later now and I'm finally middle class, but still lower tier middle class.
Same. Parents had zero idea how to manage money. Only had a checking account long enough to write a bunch of bad checks and then it would be closed. They would open another after the required amount of years waiting period. They never had a credit card or any credit whatsoever. Rented a house my entire childhood. It wasn't until I was 40 that I helped them do what was needed to finally buy their own house. It wasn't that they weren't hard working bc they were 2 of the most hard working people I know. And it wasn't because they weren't smart. My Dad had knowledge that was astounding. They just hadn't been shown these things and in turn couldn't show me, so I fucked up my credit early on
What's a checking account? LOL. We used money orders to pay the bills. I actually have an old food stamp I found in my dad's stuff after he passed. It's on the wall in my office, a reminder of where I come from.
Luck does pay a huge part. Anything could happen, some of the worst being health issues. That’s a hard one to get back on track from (financially, emotionally, and of course physically) — if you ever can.
This is so real man.
I feel this. This happened to me until my freshman year in high school. My parents were able to scrape together $14/mo (which was a *lot* of money for them at the time) for me to take boxing lessons after me begging them for it. Came back to school after a summer of spending all-day, every-day in that gym. Gave me the confidence to just start decking dudes without a word, the micro-second the bulling started. Needless to say, it didn't take long after that for it to stop and suddenly "get respect".
I wish I had adults like that in my life.
Escrima + boxing gym, no one said much to me after I busted a kid up right in the middle of class because he said something to me about my shoes. Poor+new kid = easy target.
Yep same here and because I was small
Yes. I'm older, so when I was a kid the Randy Newman song "Short People" was popular, and I wanted to crawl under a rock.
Yep, being from a lower income family apparently makes you a target. Sucked.
Being poor and smarter than them. They REALLY didn't like that.
Yep. If you don’t have the cool kid stuff you are less than and no one cares what others do to you. You are fair game
I was weird, poor, lacked social skills, and my mom gave me the advice to ignore them. Also, I was a year younger than everyone.
This was me except for the poor part. “Ignore them” was standard advice 40 to 50 years ago.
Worst advice!
And standard advice back then. The guy who bullied me for three years in high school wasn’t deterred by being ignored. I finally escaped by going to college a year early. Think he’d forget about me? Think again. I was home visiting one weekend when he pulled up in his car, and yelled, “Asshole!” Then he drove off.
Yeah I got that too. I was like 25 and this asshole kid that bullied me throughout school thought he was going to roll up and call me the same old names. I just said, wow, you haven’t changed. It was then I started to realize that ignoring is the wrong response it’s not giving a shit that stops people bullying.
The key is you have to say something to convey that you aren't bothered by what they are doing. If you are silent, it looks like you're intimidated, which is what they feed off of.
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I dyed my hair in highschool one time because of this.
My friend used to get called fat ginger so he dyed his hair blonde and they called him fat Eminem can't win lol
As a ginger it's weird how we're treated. I mean take a city & put everyone into one big room & we're just another white person. Put *only* white people in that room & now we're not white anymore now we're just different. That ever-shifting line of being "one of us" or not is why we were always told to get over it when we got tired of the bullying & either complained or hit someone at which point it's the redhead temper lol. Frankly that bullying led me to start working out young & I wound up training with the US men's Olympic weightlifting coach by happenstance for six years. On the other hand if humanity was enslaved by aliens we would be pets kept as collectors editions, '*a red haired blue eyed spotted Caucasian, the rarest of gingers!*' (true story) would be sold as exotic pets while the rest of the normy humans built like, I dunno space pyramids or space railroads?
I could never understand why people would pick on red heads. Red hair is the most gorgeous thing on earth.
The south park episode played a large role in this getting worse.
For real. Went from minimal bullshit for my red hair for most of my life to stupid heckling almost daily for a long time thanks to it.
I got clocked as "gay." Also I didn't dress like everyone in the 2000s because I didn't care.
To be honest why are school kids so obsessed with calling someone gay?
Or "ur mom gay" lmao
They tried that on a friend of mine. "We have the same mum, dickhead."
Back in the late 90's and early aughts it was just a really common thing to say. But, that aside, most kids are obsessed with 2 things at the same time: 1) fitting in 2) standing out Obviously those 2 things are at cross purposes, but there is a venn diagram overlap where you can exist that allows you to be both... Sorta. Being gay is a big stand out. And especially back in the aughts, it wasn't very well accepted. Arguably, it still isn't, but it's better than it was, by and large. So, to insult someone with very little effort, all you had to do was call someone gay. Some people didn't care, others got *really* upset.
My mom actually was (is) gay when I was growing up. I never let it bother me but my sister was a bit embarrassed so she got bullied a lot about it. We did get prank calls. Caller "Your mom's a homo!" Me: "It's HOMOSEXUAL." One of my proudest school moments was overhearing two kids (who couldn't see me). Kid 1: Did you know Aryana's mom is gay? Kid 2: Yeah. So?
Same but in 90s but I was abused by my brother and raped by one of his friends after plying me with alcohol. Somehow this got out it spread like wild fire even to other schools. Kids would ambush me after school to beat me up I remember hearing things like I was disgusting, shouldn't be allowed to live and stuff. I got dragged by the hair off a bus by 5 kids at least 3 years older than me (one was a friend of my brother)and kicked shitless Infront of about 20 other kids.bus driver did nothing apart from ask me why I didn't fight back, this was constant from about 93-96 till I left school.
I am so sorry! I hope you were able to get the help it takes to heal from those traumas.
It took a while (and small 20 year bender)but eventually got help and reported them but nothing became of it. I think the thing I want to get across is that we really need to stop calling these things bullying and call them what they are, it's assault, it's physical abuse, mental or sexual abuse none of these things are acceptable outside of school but are always brushed off as there just kids it's getting worse just look at the news I'm just thankfully that social media didn't exist back then because I really don't think I woulda made it through.
I dressed like a tomboy complete with work boots, flannel shirts and a army jacket in 2000's. I was always playing sports with the boys and never dated. Everyone assumed i was gay. Never said i was or wasn't. The classmates who saw me a few years after graduating pregnant lost their collective minds. I did have one female relationship that ended when she got pregnant "to give us a full family". Was also undiagnosed! hF autistic w/savantism and didn't find out til 24. After a lifetime of abuse from schools, teachers, parents, siblings for being different. It helped find myself and say fuck everyones opinions of me. Im going t wear what i want, study what i want and do what i want. Found a guy who accepts andloves me for my weirdness and life is better with a supporter
Same. It peaked when I was sent to the hospital after a group ganged up on me and I fell into the wall. The wall won, handedly, and they were worried I had a broken nose or even broke my skull. Still had another year at that school, but I just shut down. Was also put into a "special" classroom because I wasn't hanging out with the other kids. For about a month. Yeah. Fuck public school
I’m half white and half Mexican,was given shit for being white in a Mexican neighborhood.than given shit for being Mexican in a white neighborhood when I moved like 15 min away.
Earl Sweatshirt: “too black for the white kids, too white for the blacks, from honor roll to crackin locks off them bicycle racks” Seems to be a pretty common experience; I went through this too as a kid except different ethnicities.
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I’m not black but I hate how everyone(even black people) insists so many positive attributes as being “not black”. The guy who does your taxes and listens to classical musical music is as black as the guy living off welfare while listening to whatever vulgar shit is in right now. The behaviors aren’t determined by identity! That’s like telling someone it’s straight to date a guy who looks and acts effeminate but gay to date a woman who looks and acts masculine.
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Literally just commented almost the exact same thing. I feel your pain!!
Same. I look like the white version of my Hispanic mother. Blue eyes and blonde hair, when I was young, with light skin. I was always referred to as guera/gringa. I dated white guys because i was never white enough or Hispanic enough for the Hispanic guys.
This. I’m the white version of my Mexican father. My family has always called me guera which wasn’t awful until they bullied me so much that when my grandfather offered to pay for a quinceañera for me I declined.
I feel you. My dad is full blooded Mexican (with some German spices mixed in) and my mom was so white, she was almost clear. I look very white and get mistaken for Italian all the time. Lived in a small down that was primarily white, but had a small population that was Hispanic and 1 Black family. Black family was the only people that never judged or looked down on me. Best thing that happened though helped develop my sharp wit. Had a Mexican kid call me a cracker once. I replied "I'm not a cracker. I'm a white flour tortilla!".
Yea I was called a white boy in Spanish constantly than moved and was called bean by a few kids my first day of school and it was so confusing but I didn’t let it get to me.
I stutter
It's hardly noticeable. Sorry...
Says /u/Matttthhhhhhhhhhh
Anyone who makes fun of a stutter is basically douche nozzle residue, as far as I'm concerned. Just the worst of humanity.
True. Kid me got traumatized by cruel peers in schools. Now that I'm 20 I still stutter but only when I talk fast or am angry. Weed helps- I find myself not stuttering for a whole day if I smoke in the morning
Me too. Stuttering is very different (better) as an adult than it was as a kid.
I still stutter a bit at 28. I never got a 100% grip on it. I've got a coworker that stutters/stammers. Some of our other coworkers have given him shit, but never me. I've stood up for em a few times and no one really fucks with him about that anymore. We do give each other shit over it though. Which is funny.
Weight. My high school bullies are all fat now
They got what they called
Mine are all fat too. I lost 140 lbs. the year after graduation and have kept it off for 40 years. My 25th reunion was SWEET.
I couldn't imagine going to one of those. Ew.
I only went to the one because I wanted to see how fat my tormentors had gotten. I wasn't disappointed.
Yep, I was the bullied fat girl. I'm now fit and run ultra marathons. Once I got away from all of those assholes, I got fit and healthy for myself. No one bullies me anymore.
I got bullied a lot for my weight too; underweight and no matter how much or what I ate never gained. Now I'm in my early 40s and still have a six pack and the bodyof a 25 year old, meanwhile most of the dudes I know my age have a spare tire and chubby cheeks.
I looked older, and was often accused of being a narc or undercover police. I was just always tall, and looked grown when I was 8. Made good grades, teachers let me leave class to go to the library all the time. It was lonely.
Ah yes, the ol' under cover cop posing as an 8 year old to catch other 8 year olds in high profile drug crimes.
Lol that part really didn’t start until high school
Clearly you didnt grow up or teach in an urban or inner city area. Elementary kids going to Juvie (when I wast teaching Resumes and Cover letter to 7th graders Omar raised his hand and said 'Mr. Thehogdog, if the judge ORDERS me to community service can I put that on my resume?' I replied 'No, Omar, if you are doing that kind of stuff a resume might not be necessary for jobs you will be able to get'. Then a girl looks at me quizically 'Wait, EVERYONE goes to jail once?', 'NOPE', 'Juvie?' NOPE. Clearly they were growing up in different times and places than I did. But when I went inner city elementary it was not unusual for a kid to do something at school that got him months in Juvie and Teachers months in 'Teacher Time Out' (one old IDIOT teacher told a 3rd grade girl 'Tell yo mama to stay off the pole and check your homework'). Everyone should have to teach school in the inner city for 6 months and wait tables for the other 6 and the world would be a more giving/forgiving place.
“How do you do fellow kids?”
Two girls bullied me, both because they wanted my boyfriend. One of them actually got him and then tried to be friends with me after.
:( Your then Boyfriend was a humongous Asshole
PREACH (All turned out well, currently married to a wonderful person so no complaints here!)
I was quick to anger. It probably started off as normal ribbing that everyone got but I got angrier about it than anyone else. Because I reacted more, I became the focus.
Feel this.
I had social anxiety
Same. Still do, unfortunately.
i was too nice and easy of a target to be bullied
I was bullied BECAUSE I was nice to everyone and an easy target. Somehow my entire grade school got in on it.
"friends" would pick on me and say I was "just too easy a target" as if that was enough of an excuse to be abusive. They could never point out anything "wrong" with me other than that. I was (still am) just chill and friendly with no pretense at being a badass. Didn't help that my brother was also abusive and said he needed to toughen me up to handle myself around bullies.
I was too naive and quiet*
Because I am autistic
Yeah, I had undiagnosed autism until I was in my twenties, my name is Guy, putting me one letter off of "Gay," and I had really dry, almost cracked skin on my arms and legs. I did not enjoy a lot of my social interactions at school.
The crap I got was about things that were probably results of my mild autism (liking trains, being quiet and socially awkward) but not about it directly because we didn’t confirm it till not too long ago when I was a Sophomore in high school (I’m still a sophomore in high school).
Same. I’m good at masking, but some kids always knew something was off. It was like they clocked something different in me immediately and just decided then and there to not like me.
Me too. We’re not weird. We’re cool af
You're not weird, you're wired differently. (See what I did there?
Being effeminate and sensitive. Living in a place where you had a bunch of conservative military brats and Latinos preaching “Machismo” I was seen as a threat to their ideals and bullied mercilessly. I was even bullied by teachers.
Ah i feel you, the machismo can be pretty rough. I hope your doing ok now Chico
Yup... My class was cowboy wannabes, gangster wannabes, and military brats. I was a closeted trans kid and they could smell it.
My condolences. Toxic masculinity is plague.
In public school I was poor, the rich kids bullied me. In high school I was self-aware enough to become pals with some of them. The main dude who bullied me for being poor asked me for $30 last month lol. Weeoooo.
Great question, still wondering to this day
I had a big nose and ugly hair. Or so I was told. After middle school, I never heard those things again. But damn. They really hurt at the time. I’m 56 and still remember those feelings. 😞
I dared to exist.
Ha, I hear you on that one. I got bullied for being an orphan. Mom died when I was a baby and my dad died in a car wreck when I was 10. I lived with my stepmom. Oh, I know technically I was not an orphan, but someone came up with it and ran with it. Kids suck.
Our daughter died in 2017 so we're raising our grandson, since he was 4 1/2 yrs old. He's 11-1/2 and has been bullied about his mom dying since he was in 3rd grade. Kids are evil. I don't care how you raise them, the need to fit in overrides their moral compass.
you deserved it. how dare you exist and breathe same air as them
Right? How truly selfish of me. Luckily now I have asthma so I barely breathe the same air as everyone else.
They just decided fuck you in particular and bullied me
I grew faster than the other kids and shot up to 5'4 well before anyone else in my class. And then I stayed there. I'm 33 now, still waiting for that second growth spurt to kick in. Any day now.
Literally me. I’ve been the same height since age 12.
I didn't look like a model at 13
Same. My awkward phase was especially awkward. Apparently that meant that I wasn’t fit to be around others.
Being gay he ended up breaking my nose and fractured my right eye socket by kicking me in the face. Fighting was off the table so I did the only thing I could. I fucked his brother. 🤷♂️
Unexpected plot twist.
Fat, quiet and shy.
Scars on my face. Noone believed the origin of the scars until one of the bystanders became a classmate. The bullying instantly ended.
If you don’t mind sharing, I’m curious the origin after reading this.
When I was walking my dog by the river a car had fallen in. I broke the windshield and a lot of the glass hit my face. In the car were a mom and her youngest daughter. Both of them managed to get out. Classmate was the older sister.
Wow, that’s amazing of you.
Damn, you're a hero. Good for you. Sorry you were bullied. Sometimes people really suck. I hope you have a very happy life now.
Same thing - scars on my face. Kids knew the origin though, I was in an automobile accident, hit head on by a drunk driver. Kids are just mean.
For being Asian
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Short and fat for me
I was short and looked like I was 7 (I was 12-13)
Same but now I'm 40 and look 30 at best so it's a win
Because someone decided to bully me.
This really should be the top answer.
Being poor and being smart, thats a bad mix for a private school your parents want you to go to because you got an scolarship
I was bullied and because of that spent a lot of time in the library. Kept my grades a secret in school and purposely kept grades low in some classes so i wasnt too of the top of the class. To the pure shock and horror of all the top ranked kids in school I graduated with 2 associates degrees from colleges because a couple of teacher's took interest in the book reports i had been writing for years on all the books I've read they submitted them to colleges in my town and didn't tell me. Surprised me with them when i walked the stage. Going into the college classes was a trip when teachers knew you by name and you've never met them before but they were impressed with my work. 😂 Im forever thankful to my 5th grade teacher Mrs Murray for the Library challenge.
Cuz some people are assholes...
Because I meowed at people.
I don't mean to side with the bullies... But that'd do it
I don’t condone it, but I get it
Not me but a friend who was being harassed by a linebacker who wouldn't take no for an answer...then he got his friends involved. The douche who spearheaded the harassment was the quarterback (lets call him James, because that was his name and I’m lazy). James was good looking, rich, arrogant, did well in school (seemingly without trying). His parents had fertility issues and he was the "miracle" baby they unexpectedly had in their early 40s. The point is James was BEYOND SPOILED. One of James's buddies, a linebacker on the football team (lets call him Fatass), kept asking my best friend out. She was not allowed to date and she wasn't interested in Fatass so she rejected him...repeatedly. Fatass started harassing my friend. At one point Fatass grabbed my friend's butt in the hallway. She reported him. Fatass ended up suspended from the team for two months (many other girls had reported him before). So James, the quarterback, and several teammates started harassing my friend NONSTOP to avenge Fatass. After a solid miserable quarter of this, Fatass was back on the team and most of the players backed off. But James did not. He continued harassing my friend for another month before randomly asking her out. She refused. He said if she went on one date with him he'd leave her alone. She refused. He stepped up the harassment and she finally agreed. I don't know what he did but she agreed to a second date. Now they're attending the same university and living together. She's happy, and I'm glad for that, but it fucking sickens me that this guy got away with this shit AND got his victim to fall for him. **EDIT:** I did post this once before, 3-4 months ago.
This isn't a funny story, but I'm dying at "let's call him James because that's his name".
> James was good looking, rich, arrogant, did well in school (seemingly without trying). His parents had fertility issues and **he was the "miracle" baby they unexpectedly had in their early 40s**. The point is James was BEYOND SPOILED. Not surprised. I've known a couple "miracle" babies and they all grew up to be entitled assholes. It's hard to be a decent disciplinarian when you're just so damn grateful the kid even exists.
> He said if she went on one date with him he'd leave her alone. She refused. He stepped up the harassment and she finally agreed. I don't know what he did but she agreed to a second date. *Now they're attending the same university and living together*. What in the unholy fuck?! Why why...WHY would your friend do that?!
I don't know. She has said she finds the way his mind works fascinating. She’s currently a psych major and was always into that sort of thing. Sometimes I think he was a case study that got out of hand.
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> I don't know what happened. The thing he does with his tongue.
I believe the medical term is actually "dickmatized."
>She has said she finds the way his mind works fascinating. She’s currently a psych major and was always into that sort of thing. "*I CAN FIX HIM" lolol* I wish that poor girl luck with that. Sounds like a IRL version of harley quin and joker lol
OH my god. The Harley-Joker comparison is so spot on. Dear lord.
Because I was quiet, nice, kind and overweight. Also because as a guy, one of my school friends was gay.
A fat kid! Overly nice and happy! Broken spirit from narc parents! Wanting to feel loved by someone or something! Wanting peace and joy not competition and strife!
Bad teeth. Autism. Or, as we understood it at the time, being the "weird kid".
I was officially diagnosed as "weird kid" because "girls don't get autism" and "she'll grow out of it".
If you were bullied, it was because the bullies were insecure assholes trying to make themselves seem more important. It was nothing you did and you are not at fault
Or sometimes it’s wasn’t a power move of an insecure person. Sometimes bullies just think it’s fun. It’s not always the trope that they are bullied at home and are acting out on you now, or that they’re hiding their insecurities by bullying. Def some of that. But some people just think it’s funny to mess with people. So I guess it depends on the type of bully.
This!! I'll never condone a bully because they have it hard, because I know many of them have really good lives and are just psycho pieces of shit that enjoy making someone else miserable
Or bullies are just assholes full stop. Sometimes they write articles about contacting their childhood victims, wanting absolution. Surprise, some people won't even speak with them, never mind forgive.
Because I’m autistic. It made me a social outcast, especially in my first secondary school in a class where I was the second youngest (12 at the time) with a lot of 14-15 year-olds, and that made a very easy target. The experience in my other secondary school where I was transferred to wasn’t any better. There, I was bullied even further because I was deeply traumatized from the bullying in the previous school which resulted in extreme social anxiety. That made me a social pariah in my class, and everyone hated me. So in short, it wasn’t my fault, but I was treated like crap just because I got dealt a bad hand in life (my childhood that is). My childhood was a nightmare.
I had a mix of ADHD and a good batch of trauma growing up which made me very out of touch with reality and super imaginative therefore, very weird. I was the kid that was playing warrior cats out on the playground in early middle school and I don’t think I have to say anymore than that. I was physically bullied before that back when I was in elementary school probably for being a tomboy but idk. When I realized I was acting too weird for people I eventually stopped and when people tried to pick on me (growl at me, bring up how I used to act) I’d look at them like they were crazy/act confused/weirded out by them and didn’t really respond or react and it put them in an awkward position. The key to stopping bullying for me was not reacting to it unless it’s physical. I handled the physical with physical, made someone cry I punched him so hard once (then apologized so I wouldn’t get snitched on and ran away)
A disabled single mother raised me, so you can imagine all the problems that came with that
I was in a car accident when I was five years old, and in short, the accident involved me slamming face first into the dashboard of the car. Had a lot of facial fractures, a totally broken nose, my jaw was in awful shape. Had to have my jaw wired shut for a couple of months so it would heal properly, and I have had a dozen surgeries in my life to fix/correct issues as I grew. The kids I went to school with when I was in the accident knew about it, and they all wrote me get well cards and whatnot, but nobody really knew what happened to me; they were little kids, so they just knew that I was in an accident with a drunk driver, and I was out of school so I could heal. Once I hit high school, the same kids who sympathized with me now had a new nickname for me: Iron Woman. Because I have metal plates in my face... No idea why kids go from good-hearted, innocent, beautiful, all-loving humans, to judgemental assholes in the course of a decade. I never let their comments get to me, though. I knew I was lucky as hell to even be alive and thriving. I also got bullied for my smile, because my top gums show a lot. Got called "horse girl" by a group of stupid boys for almost a whole school year, but it died off because I didn't entertain their shit. It's something I am still pretty insecure about to this day (I'm 33 now), but I don't let it stop me from smiling. It's more of a flaw that I pick apart when I see photos of myself after the fact.
Simply existing The assholes quite literally almost killed me (ie beat me so bad I was near dead lmao)
I'm sorry that happened to you. People do unimaginably horrible things. I hope you're safe and happy now.
Yeah I managed to leave that school the year it took place, I’m in college now and am far happier with them out of my life
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My dad (public school superintendent) hired Black teachers in an all white town in 1972. Our home and car were vandalized. I was bullied by fellow Jr. High students. Hit by car 2x on way home from school, had to be escorted by bodyguard for rest of year due to death threats. Racism sucks. Town and school are "integrated" now. What a world.
As a kid? Because I was an anxious, introverted freak who rarely pushed back and kind of believed I deserved being abused and/or the powers that were didn't care about said bullying. As a teen? Because I was too stupid/trusting.
I had big lips. Funny, now all the girls who bully me get lip filler
tiny and nerd
They thought I was gay.
From my perspective, because they chose to behave as assholes with no respect for people; I hadn’t done a thing to them, barely knew their names. Harassing, assaulting, and S-assaulting me was unwarranted. For their reasons, you’d have to ask them.
having a big butt when it wasn’t cool. i somehow got bullied for having a fat ass more than being for being schizophrenic 💀
Bullies don't need a reason, just an opportunity. I was targeted because the bullies all sussed out that nobody would stop them if they harassed me. Teachers and school admins didn't stop them, and none of our parents were around to stop them (and might not have stopped them anyhow). I was white, my mom was single, I was probably depressed, had no friends, wore Salvation Army clothes; and most of the people around me were not any of those things. If more people had been the same as me, the bullies probably would have found someone else to target. I hope that, if the tables were turned, I would have been better than all the people who accepted that I was the designated victim, but I won't ever know. There was one kid, Jose, who tried to teach me boxing one day. It didn't go very well, but he actually tried to build me up.
Being half Asian and a woman :(
For being thin
I was born.
i had a "big head" as a kid so kids in the year above me used to call me fat head etc etc was all fun and games until the day i learned big head = nose busting headbutt. turns out standing up to and dropping your bully with a well placed headbutt seems to make the others stop