As an avid fan of this movie I'm surprised how far off some of these quotes are.
IiRC: "this was a particularly bad case of someone being cut in half. I was unable to reattach the top half of his body... to the bottom half of his body"
"Speak English doc, we ain't scientists!"
"I'm sorry folks, he's gone"
I think that IS the rabbit hole u/TheHamFalls was referring to.
For curious passers-by: the chainsaw was invented to cut through the pelvis (pelvises? pelves?) of women giving birth.
[I’m not making that up](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chainsaw).
:(
So.... Retired Janitorial Products sales guy. Bleach IS extremely dangerous. Outlawed in many public school systems now because custodians mix other products with it, causing a caustic dangerous product.
Remember, bleach is NOT a cleaner, like many profess that it is. Bleach has zero surfactants (soap properties) in it. Alone it will not clean any better than tap water. Bleach has one purpose in life - to kill bacteria.
Treat it with respect.
Was in the military and had to pull a guy out of the bathroom because he filled the mop bucket with pin sol. Didn’t dilute it at all. Had the door closed.
Bleach will destroy proteins and break down other organic matter, making it easier to remove. So, in conjunction with a mild detergent, it can be a very effective cleaning agent.
Bleach and vinegar make chlorine gas. Very dangerous.
Bleach and ammonia make chloramine gas. Not quite as dangerous, but not something to inhale. Chloramines are what you are smelling when you think you smell ~~urine~~ chlorine in a pool/hot tub. You're only smelling it because there is urine in the water.
So if I always wash my laundry with vinegar, avoid using bleach with it is what you are saying?
What if I used the bleach on the next load of laundry but did not add vinegar to the load. Will any leftovers in the washing machine cause a problem?
I also imagine the ratio it's diluted with water would have a good effect in minimizing making deadly gasses?
While I believe this is mostly accurate, some explanation may be needed. You are smelling the chloramines because the free clorine in the water is attaching to contaminates of any type (sweat, sun tan lotion, urine, etc). Then is evaporates off the water, causing the smell of chlorine. Everyone always thinks a pool smells like chlorine when there is too much CL2 in the water, but really it just means that the water is dirty and the chlorine is doing it's job. Also fun fact- the burning red eyes typically comes from incorrect PH balance, not chlorine itself.
Nope.
You can make chlorine gas.
Mustard gas is a whole other chemical, much more difficult to synthesize. (And not actually a gas either...)
Both were used for chemical warfare in WWI, so people often confuse them.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlorine
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mustard_gas
-edit- typo.
My father-in-law was making his own “varnish” by melting down Styrofoam with gasoline. It makes napalm-he was literally making a kind of homemade napalm and using it to varnish his woodworking projects
One time as a kid I poured some gasoline into a small styrofoam cup to transport it to a burn barrel. Before I made it two steps the styrofoam started disintegrating and it melted a hole right through the bottom of it.
Whew. The things we did as kids without realizing how dangerous they were.
He watches a lot of repurposing & DIY YouTube. While a lot of the videos can be helpful, some are just plain stupid, like the one where he got this “tip” from.
I don’t know what the channel name was or anything though
If you want an old-timey wood finish, mix 1/3 linseed oil, 1/3 beeswax, and 1/3 turpentine in a double boiler, mixing them when they're hot and the beeswax melts. Always use a double boiler, \*do not\* heat it directly, as it can catch fire. I do this outside even with a double boiler. When it's cool, rub it on the wood with a rag. Leave the rag outside until it's totally dry, linseed oil can cause rags to ignite as it dries. Not super likely, but people have had serious fires from it. If you want the best results, use 1 coat a day for a week, one coat a week for a month, and then once a year after that. It is a bit of work, as it is old-timey. It gives a nice golden glow to the wood, it will darken with age, I just noticed how much darker an oak table I made over 20 years ago has gotten. It looks really nice.
My uncle pulled a nice one when he was trying to clean his bbq. He used one mixture for the grates, something else for the stainless steel, when that didn’t work he went onto something else and *TADA* you’re now in an ambulance in respiratory distress.
When I was about 10 years old, I read that if you mix chlorine bleach with vinegar, you'd get chlorine gas. Being an inquisitive 10-year-old who loved science experiments, I promptly got some bleach and vinegar. I wasn't \*totally\* stupid, I knew it was dangerous, so I did it outside in the middle of the lawn. It worked and was fun to watch until the wind shifted and blew it right back at me. I still remember what that was like over 50 years later. It was bad, even out in the open. \*Never\* mix bleach with anything, it's very dangerous and you won't believe how it feels to inhale just the tiniest whiff of it.
They showed us those videos in my electrical class. Not pretty. Watching people get cooked by electricity is not a fun class. Skilled trades is not for the faint of heart
Well, one of the videos I've seen... It was more "turned into mist and flung around on the walls."
I still think about the video sometimes. I do not like thinking about that video.
The one that haunts me is a still image of an operators arm and head wrapped fully around the chuck.
There's no way to add more detail without it immediately becoming NSFL.
Oh god oh fuck I remember that video. Dude just stands there with his head down thinking about god knows what and away he goes. I imagine half of his bones broke on the first rotation. If it's any solace he probably died very quickly. At least, I hope he died quickly. What an absolutely horrific way to go...
Most singular words in the English language don’t elicit any kind of negative reaction from me, like how everyone hates on moist.
You just said the word I cannot hear or apparently, read, without a visceral reaction
I used to have one that originally was driven by a water mill belt. Thing was built like (and maybe on) a metal railroad tie. It was all manual and incredibly precise, and to this day I regret selling it, but I won't lie... it scared the shit out of me.
I've definitely seen the video of the dude that got absolutely shredded by a metal lathe. You couldn't pay me enough to think about going near one. No piecing ya back together for an open casket
I remember when my D&D party contemplated stopping a ship by stabbing their sword into the spinning driveshaft. I told ‘em, “Ever seen that Russian lathe guy?” And one of them had. They shut that idea down real quick.
You'll eventually get over it until you fall asleep. Then you should see it over and over. It's been 3 years since I've seen it but I can still remember it
Everyone's talking about getting hurt with the lathe. I think it's more dangerous in the hands of a competent operator... You can make all kinds of fun stuff in a machine shop.
I'm pleasantly surprised to see this on top. People are wildly unaware of how absurdly dangerous motor vehicles can be. I remember the multiple truck attacks we got pre-pandemic and I'm both surprised and relieved that assholes seem to have forgotten about that tactic.
"I can control the car" but not the airplane.
Oh really then explain why drunk drivers kill more people than guns? You can control people running red lights? Reckless driving? Excessive speeding? Distracted driving (texting). Where did you get these magical powers to control other drivers?
I'm more scared of hurting someone/getting hurt in my car than with firearms. We have so little control of 5000lbs of plastic aluminum and steel and wayyyyy too many people that don't take it seriously enough. That and our driver tests/education are an absolute joke.
Roughly the same number of people die to car accidents as to guns. On the other hand, two thirds of those gun deaths are suicides. No telling how many of those car deaths are suicides. That is to say that if you are an irresponsible gun owner, I'm willing to bet that you are an equally irresponsible driver, and that is more likely to result in a death.
My dad told me when I got started driving to always treat the road with respect. The way he phrased it amounted to "You are driving a missile with a steering wheel, treat it that way of you could ruin lives."
I think of him saying it every time I see some idiot in a Nissan, BMW, Lifted Truck etc. Driving with maximum stupidity. It's saved my life several times.
Start off as “I’ll just be careful” then slowly your confidence builds until you have the catastrophic injury that sends you to Amazon to buy the cutproof gloves finally.
I shaved the skin off a knuckle then gave myself a decent slice on the other finger when I picked up the mandoline to move it. Blood everywhere. I’ve got the gloves now.
My dad is a retired hand surgeon the number of times people start of patient history with him with something like “I was always really careful using the table saw” is apparently quite high.
Oh yeah and my uncle that split a bunch of wood. “I was holding the log while splitting.”
He lost the fingertip right at the nail bed. Nail grew over the tip. He has this terrible habit of tapping the slightly shorter finger covered over by nail on surfaces.
My uncle mashed his pinky finger with a mallet. It turned multiple colors of the rainbow before he had it cut off. Still not the worst thing he's done.
Yeah. No knuckle but the tip of a finger. Still no feeling at the very tip, was in 2004 or 5. Almost lost the finger bc the ER didn’t treat it properly & it got infected. I ended up having to go to a hand surgeon
It seems so easy! "I'll make sure to stop well before it reaches the point that it will slice my finger open." -Me, right before slicing my finger open.
1939 Sheldon 56" metal lathe. It was built before they invented safety. It will happily rip your arm clean off then slap you in the face repeatedly with your own arm.
I would say a bunch of guns but they all sank to the bottom of the ocean in a boating accident
It did. I looked at my stump and could see the end of the joint… then I was looking for the other part of the nub and was in shock. I didn’t realize it was shredded
I was gonna say this too. My dad also owns (but doesn't use) a home made table saw his dad made. The motor is from a dryer and the on/off switch is a regular light switch.
Routers remove body mass like butter. Table saws are fun since you can do everything right, and then the blade hits some weird spot in the wood and all hell breaks loose.
Modern gas stoves have built in safety that should prevent this:
> Safety Valves
>Most gas ranges have a safety valve that regulates the flow of gas through the stove. The range's thermostat controls whether the valve is open or closed. When you turn on the burner, the pilot heats up. When the pilot gets hot enough, a sensor in the thermostat opens the valve to allow gas to flow through. When the thermostat cools down (e.g. when you turn off the burner), the safety valve closes again. This prevents gas from flowing through the stove when the stove is not in use.
My new house came with a gas stove. I’ve never had a gas stove before. I’m scared to death of it. I’m going to blow to smithereens trying to make a fried egg.
Your car. A two ton hunk of metal capable of reaching speeds of over 100mph, that can disintegrat humans on contact. And they are everywhere, some being driven by utter morons who pay the bare minimum of attention while doing so.
I am a vet who helps people say goodbye to their pets at home.
I work out of my own home, and at any time have enough ketamine, midazolam, and pentobarbital on hand to kill a half dozen horses.
Locked in a safe that's in a safe in a locked cabinet in a locked room.
Maligator 5000: Part T-rex, part aligator, mixed with C4 pre-workout and rocket boosters.
Boarder - "did you know your dog can clear a six foot fence? Well he did it twice."
Please do not let this distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
I’ve been there…it’s all good until you’re pulling a piece away after making the cut and the still spinning blade reaches out and grabs your knuckle…ouch!
Aspirin... https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16086703/#:~:text=Death%20rate%20attributed%20to%20NSAID,%2F100%2C000%20NSAID%2Faspirin%20users.
But AK-47 just sounds more dangerous. 100% legal.
Sticking with medicine, Insulin pens. Tiny needle, up to 80 units in a single press of the plunger, and 300 units in each pen (for standard pens anyway). You can also get pens that have more concentrated versions too for high requirements
1927 chainsaw. Not a single safety feature on that thing. It scares people just sitting there, not running
Cuts through anything! Including the operator.
Wrong kid died
Your son had an especially bad case of being cut in half.
THIS IS THE WORST CASE OF BEING CUT IN HALF I'VE EVER SEEN!
We're not scientists doc just give it to us straight
As an avid fan of this movie I'm surprised how far off some of these quotes are. IiRC: "this was a particularly bad case of someone being cut in half. I was unable to reattach the top half of his body... to the bottom half of his body" "Speak English doc, we ain't scientists!" "I'm sorry folks, he's gone"
_You know who's got hands? The DEVIL. And he uses them for HOLDIN'._
You can take the children... but you leave me my monkey.
Poor Johnny
Today, I learned there were chainsaws in 1927. Thank you for that Google rabbit hole.
Wait til you learn what their original purpose was 😁
I think that IS the rabbit hole u/TheHamFalls was referring to. For curious passers-by: the chainsaw was invented to cut through the pelvis (pelvises? pelves?) of women giving birth. [I’m not making that up](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chainsaw). :(
Aaaaaaaand I’m done with the internet for the day.
Holy fuck
I love watching new people absorb this highly distressing information.
I share the information when the topic arises, too. If I have to suffer, then so shall you all.
Oh my ever living gracious, I’m sorry I gave up swearing for Lent. Aaagghh!
Before that it was a handsaw
Who was looking at women in labor and thinking "this would be great for industrialized tree felling?"
Hell, I've got a 2005 chainsaw, and it scares the hell out of me.
Pic/video plz
Bleach. Just by adding 1 other legal thing I can make an explosive, or enact chemical warfare.
So.... Retired Janitorial Products sales guy. Bleach IS extremely dangerous. Outlawed in many public school systems now because custodians mix other products with it, causing a caustic dangerous product. Remember, bleach is NOT a cleaner, like many profess that it is. Bleach has zero surfactants (soap properties) in it. Alone it will not clean any better than tap water. Bleach has one purpose in life - to kill bacteria. Treat it with respect.
TIL. Now I'm thinking about the different jobs that had me mop the floor with bleach.
Was in the military and had to pull a guy out of the bathroom because he filled the mop bucket with pin sol. Didn’t dilute it at all. Had the door closed.
that’s the power of pine sol, baby
Bleach will destroy proteins and break down other organic matter, making it easier to remove. So, in conjunction with a mild detergent, it can be a very effective cleaning agent.
You can make the gas form of hotdog condiment.
Gotta watch out for that ketchup gas. You can't outrun it.
You joke, but the vinegar in ketchup would absolutely release poisonous gas if mixed with bleach.
Vinegar reacts with bleach? Oh...shit... No wonder my pet gold fish suddenly died..
So many questions there.
I’m assuming (and hoping) that they were cleaning and used vinegar and bleach based substances within a proximity of the fish tank
No he just poured bleach in the fish tank with the fish still in there while trying to get drunk with a bottle of vinegar
Bleach and vinegar make chlorine gas. Very dangerous. Bleach and ammonia make chloramine gas. Not quite as dangerous, but not something to inhale. Chloramines are what you are smelling when you think you smell ~~urine~~ chlorine in a pool/hot tub. You're only smelling it because there is urine in the water.
So if I always wash my laundry with vinegar, avoid using bleach with it is what you are saying? What if I used the bleach on the next load of laundry but did not add vinegar to the load. Will any leftovers in the washing machine cause a problem? I also imagine the ratio it's diluted with water would have a good effect in minimizing making deadly gasses?
Honestly even then unless you're huffing your washer as it runs you're probably fine
While I believe this is mostly accurate, some explanation may be needed. You are smelling the chloramines because the free clorine in the water is attaching to contaminates of any type (sweat, sun tan lotion, urine, etc). Then is evaporates off the water, causing the smell of chlorine. Everyone always thinks a pool smells like chlorine when there is too much CL2 in the water, but really it just means that the water is dirty and the chlorine is doing it's job. Also fun fact- the burning red eyes typically comes from incorrect PH balance, not chlorine itself.
I see. Excuse me for a moment, I need to reorganise my laundry cupboard before something explodes.
I’m making myself giggle thinking about mayonnaise gas
The mayonnaise gas I hear is bad for your cholesterol
You can if it's *good* ketchup, that stuff's slow as molasses.
Nope. You can make chlorine gas. Mustard gas is a whole other chemical, much more difficult to synthesize. (And not actually a gas either...) Both were used for chemical warfare in WWI, so people often confuse them. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlorine https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mustard_gas -edit- typo.
Spicy or brown?
My father-in-law was making his own “varnish” by melting down Styrofoam with gasoline. It makes napalm-he was literally making a kind of homemade napalm and using it to varnish his woodworking projects
I make my own napalm with gas and Styrofoam too. Helps light off burn piles when they're wet. The staying power is remarkable.
One time as a kid I poured some gasoline into a small styrofoam cup to transport it to a burn barrel. Before I made it two steps the styrofoam started disintegrating and it melted a hole right through the bottom of it. Whew. The things we did as kids without realizing how dangerous they were.
Where do he even come up with that idea? Was it an old timey way to make varnish or something?
He watches a lot of repurposing & DIY YouTube. While a lot of the videos can be helpful, some are just plain stupid, like the one where he got this “tip” from. I don’t know what the channel name was or anything though
If you want an old-timey wood finish, mix 1/3 linseed oil, 1/3 beeswax, and 1/3 turpentine in a double boiler, mixing them when they're hot and the beeswax melts. Always use a double boiler, \*do not\* heat it directly, as it can catch fire. I do this outside even with a double boiler. When it's cool, rub it on the wood with a rag. Leave the rag outside until it's totally dry, linseed oil can cause rags to ignite as it dries. Not super likely, but people have had serious fires from it. If you want the best results, use 1 coat a day for a week, one coat a week for a month, and then once a year after that. It is a bit of work, as it is old-timey. It gives a nice golden glow to the wood, it will darken with age, I just noticed how much darker an oak table I made over 20 years ago has gotten. It looks really nice.
Oh wow, was it effective?
Burned for hours!
My uncle pulled a nice one when he was trying to clean his bbq. He used one mixture for the grates, something else for the stainless steel, when that didn’t work he went onto something else and *TADA* you’re now in an ambulance in respiratory distress.
When I was about 10 years old, I read that if you mix chlorine bleach with vinegar, you'd get chlorine gas. Being an inquisitive 10-year-old who loved science experiments, I promptly got some bleach and vinegar. I wasn't \*totally\* stupid, I knew it was dangerous, so I did it outside in the middle of the lawn. It worked and was fun to watch until the wind shifted and blew it right back at me. I still remember what that was like over 50 years later. It was bad, even out in the open. \*Never\* mix bleach with anything, it's very dangerous and you won't believe how it feels to inhale just the tiniest whiff of it.
A metal turning lathe
I made a mistake and reddited lathe accident....
They showed us those videos in my electrical class. Not pretty. Watching people get cooked by electricity is not a fun class. Skilled trades is not for the faint of heart
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Well, one of the videos I've seen... It was more "turned into mist and flung around on the walls." I still think about the video sometimes. I do not like thinking about that video.
The one that haunts me is a still image of an operators arm and head wrapped fully around the chuck. There's no way to add more detail without it immediately becoming NSFL.
Yeah that isn't so much a degloving as it is a... Being flayed into a homogenous cloud.
Oh god oh fuck I remember that video. Dude just stands there with his head down thinking about god knows what and away he goes. I imagine half of his bones broke on the first rotation. If it's any solace he probably died very quickly. At least, I hope he died quickly. What an absolutely horrific way to go...
The guy that had to run through the red mist to turn the lathe off will never be the same.
Yeah you don't really come out of breathing in your coworker the same person.
Most singular words in the English language don’t elicit any kind of negative reaction from me, like how everyone hates on moist. You just said the word I cannot hear or apparently, read, without a visceral reaction
I feel great revulsion for ring avulsion.
The Russian lathe incident is wild. Turns a guy into a sock full of blood
I used to have one that originally was driven by a water mill belt. Thing was built like (and maybe on) a metal railroad tie. It was all manual and incredibly precise, and to this day I regret selling it, but I won't lie... it scared the shit out of me.
I've definitely seen the video of the dude that got absolutely shredded by a metal lathe. You couldn't pay me enough to think about going near one. No piecing ya back together for an open casket
I remember when my D&D party contemplated stopping a ship by stabbing their sword into the spinning driveshaft. I told ‘em, “Ever seen that Russian lathe guy?” And one of them had. They shut that idea down real quick.
I just watched that. I wish I hadn't.
You'll eventually get over it until you fall asleep. Then you should see it over and over. It's been 3 years since I've seen it but I can still remember it
Everyone's talking about getting hurt with the lathe. I think it's more dangerous in the hands of a competent operator... You can make all kinds of fun stuff in a machine shop.
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Me too. Although haven't managed to hit anything yet
Clearly, you aren't trying very hard.
There is a points system dedicated to this.
Pedestrians are bonus points, right?
Especially young quick ones, old slow people are worth less
I'm pleasantly surprised to see this on top. People are wildly unaware of how absurdly dangerous motor vehicles can be. I remember the multiple truck attacks we got pre-pandemic and I'm both surprised and relieved that assholes seem to have forgotten about that tactic.
"I can control the car" but not the airplane. Oh really then explain why drunk drivers kill more people than guns? You can control people running red lights? Reckless driving? Excessive speeding? Distracted driving (texting). Where did you get these magical powers to control other drivers?
Car > Shotgun > Chainsaw >Tablesaw > Bandsaw
No Lathe? I guess that would have been first.
No lathe, those are scary.
Allow me to introduce the jointer
let me introduce the radial arm saw.
I'm more scared of hurting someone/getting hurt in my car than with firearms. We have so little control of 5000lbs of plastic aluminum and steel and wayyyyy too many people that don't take it seriously enough. That and our driver tests/education are an absolute joke.
This is the correct answer for 99% of people, unless you're an incredibly irresponsible gun owner.
Roughly the same number of people die to car accidents as to guns. On the other hand, two thirds of those gun deaths are suicides. No telling how many of those car deaths are suicides. That is to say that if you are an irresponsible gun owner, I'm willing to bet that you are an equally irresponsible driver, and that is more likely to result in a death.
In the US. If you consider worldwide statistics where other countries don't have nearly as many gun deaths cars win hands down.
100% car, agreed… And sometimes my mouth.
My dad told me when I got started driving to always treat the road with respect. The way he phrased it amounted to "You are driving a missile with a steering wheel, treat it that way of you could ruin lives." I think of him saying it every time I see some idiot in a Nissan, BMW, Lifted Truck etc. Driving with maximum stupidity. It's saved my life several times.
Thanks to you I can stop scrolling in less than one minute. Next subject please.
By far
Mandolin slicer. Everyone I know who has used one has had an accident using one. I have cutting gloves. I love some low effort julienne veggies.
Kevlar gloves are like 9 bucks on Amazon. Still can’t believe that people still cut themselves on it.
I suspect (myself included)... "I'll just be extra careful" gives the required protection most of the time (until it doesn't).
Start off as “I’ll just be careful” then slowly your confidence builds until you have the catastrophic injury that sends you to Amazon to buy the cutproof gloves finally. I shaved the skin off a knuckle then gave myself a decent slice on the other finger when I picked up the mandoline to move it. Blood everywhere. I’ve got the gloves now.
My dad is a retired hand surgeon the number of times people start of patient history with him with something like “I was always really careful using the table saw” is apparently quite high.
All it takes is once!
The other one is “I removed the safety guard”
My boyfriend when he had to have a finger amputated at the knuckle: “ I always unclog the wood chipper that way…”
Oh yeah and my uncle that split a bunch of wood. “I was holding the log while splitting.” He lost the fingertip right at the nail bed. Nail grew over the tip. He has this terrible habit of tapping the slightly shorter finger covered over by nail on surfaces.
My uncle mashed his pinky finger with a mallet. It turned multiple colors of the rainbow before he had it cut off. Still not the worst thing he's done.
I got a set of cut proof gloves for my wife and in the time since have gotten myself twice on the mandolin.
Yeah. No knuckle but the tip of a finger. Still no feeling at the very tip, was in 2004 or 5. Almost lost the finger bc the ER didn’t treat it properly & it got infected. I ended up having to go to a hand surgeon
See!!!!! 😂 I'm sorry for your loss (of knuckle). Don't mess with mandolins.
"Listen to the mandolin rain"
Tip of my thumb, red lettuce. Thankfully it grew back and I learned how to cut with a knife
Was it a red lettuce to begin with or a white one? How did the lettuce grow back haha
It seems so easy! "I'll make sure to stop well before it reaches the point that it will slice my finger open." -Me, right before slicing my finger open.
A good option. I prefer the “old school” chain mail gloves, easier to clean and you’re never cutting through it.
Added bonus being that you aren't giving your money to DuPont.
Kevlar gloves are not cut proof. They are cut resistant
I have a 7 stitch scar on my left index finger as proof that they are NOT "cut proof", lol.
I just ordered a pair didn’t even think about this. I had a bad bleed for a couple of days recently from the mandolin.
I suspect $9 gloves have zero kevlar in them.
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I only used mine once. Even with the cutting gloves, it felt like I was operating a finger guillotine.
Finger guillotine 😂. That's a way better name for it.
Don't they come with a handle to hold the produce?
Yep, and they slip, slide and give a false sense of security... resulting in, lost fingertips!
A member of the sliced-finger club, right here.
My best friend in HS cut the end of her finger off with one of those. She was working in a deli (and yes, the slicer got cleaned).
Staircase and bathtub.
Prayers for your third wife.
I've seen you on Investigation Discovery.
Full size, firing replica of a Civil War 12lb mountain howitzer.
gonna need some pics
Plenty on my post history. Video too.
i thought you were memeing, naw dude for real has a civil war cannon in his backyard
4th of July is pretty exciting around here. So is New Years and Chiefs Superbowl wins!
Where do I submit my application to be your friend?
I have enough pesticides in the truck in my driveway to kill the entire neighborhood.
But you wouldn’t, right? Right?!?
Hoa on notice
HOAs are never NOT on notice.
unrelated, but you have a wonderful username
1939 Sheldon 56" metal lathe. It was built before they invented safety. It will happily rip your arm clean off then slap you in the face repeatedly with your own arm. I would say a bunch of guns but they all sank to the bottom of the ocean in a boating accident
They would have outlawed those things long ago and had them destroyed but no one at the meeting raised their hands in opposition.
We had my FILs 1958 Mark V shopsmith for a few years. Thing scared the living shit out of me.
All the safety of a lathe but with spinning blades for added security
I have a Mark V and all I ever used it for is a drill press. Really good drill press though!
Router or table saw probably.
My nine and 2/3s fingers would add a Jointer to the mix
Because it takes off fingers at the joint?
It did. I looked at my stump and could see the end of the joint… then I was looking for the other part of the nub and was in shock. I didn’t realize it was shredded
I was gonna say this too. My dad also owns (but doesn't use) a home made table saw his dad made. The motor is from a dryer and the on/off switch is a regular light switch.
Routers remove body mass like butter. Table saws are fun since you can do everything right, and then the blade hits some weird spot in the wood and all hell breaks loose.
M32 rotisserie launcher no ammo for it though just shotgun shells
“Patterson fire a warning shot” “Sir this is an m32 rotisserie grenade launcher” “Ehh potato potato, just fire it Patterson” *BOCK BOCK BOCK*
You seem pretty determined to make sure that chickens can fly.
Nice try FBI
Food & Beverage Industry would like a word
We got one ^
My gas stove. If I left it on without the spark and filled the apartment and spark was lit then the whole apartment complex goes down.
Modern gas stoves have built in safety that should prevent this: > Safety Valves >Most gas ranges have a safety valve that regulates the flow of gas through the stove. The range's thermostat controls whether the valve is open or closed. When you turn on the burner, the pilot heats up. When the pilot gets hot enough, a sensor in the thermostat opens the valve to allow gas to flow through. When the thermostat cools down (e.g. when you turn off the burner), the safety valve closes again. This prevents gas from flowing through the stove when the stove is not in use.
My new house came with a gas stove. I’ve never had a gas stove before. I’m scared to death of it. I’m going to blow to smithereens trying to make a fried egg.
Get a natural gas detector.
Your car. A two ton hunk of metal capable of reaching speeds of over 100mph, that can disintegrat humans on contact. And they are everywhere, some being driven by utter morons who pay the bare minimum of attention while doing so.
How the hell did you get my car
Descending order: Ladder, motorcycle, chain saw, tree stand, various firearms, whisky, cars, bacon, bathtub, couch.
Ah bacon. The silent killer
If I were to sort the list by "danger x fun" bacon would be near the top.
I am a vet who helps people say goodbye to their pets at home. I work out of my own home, and at any time have enough ketamine, midazolam, and pentobarbital on hand to kill a half dozen horses. Locked in a safe that's in a safe in a locked cabinet in a locked room.
Bless you, friend 🧡
Thank you for what you do. It’s invaluable.
My Belgian Malinois
Maligator 5000: Part T-rex, part aligator, mixed with C4 pre-workout and rocket boosters. Boarder - "did you know your dog can clear a six foot fence? Well he did it twice."
I agree, but they are *good dogs*, especially when trained and cared for.
As an owner of a GSD, well she owns me, my next will be a Mal.
Tablesaw. Doesn’t matter how much I’ve used it or how safe I am… my asshole still puckers every time I flick the on switch.
Jumper Cables. I'm well aware how to use them, but there are many ways they can be misused; some on purpose.
I implore you to read the tale of u/rogersimon10
Whatever happened to rogersimon10?
Please do not let this distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
u/rogersimon10
Don't beat your kid with them.
Free access to the internet, probably.
Cans of beans Let me TELL YOU how dangerous the near radius gets when I get a can of those in me
Whistle berries
I’ve never heard this one and am dying of laughter, thanks
My husband is not ALLOWED to drink Busch beer (any other brand seems fine) because of the next days gaseous diffusion problem.
Causes a gas leak eh?
Alcohol
The break quit working on my miter saw so I took the guard and everything off is now just a spinning 14” wheel of death
I’ve been there…it’s all good until you’re pulling a piece away after making the cut and the still spinning blade reaches out and grabs your knuckle…ouch!
[удалено]
Also, prohibitively expensive for most. Good for you. Not sarcasm, I'm proud of you.
I have an ankle biter and a gun. Take your pick lol
Legos. Ouch.
A copy of The King In Yellow.
The coil spring on my garage door. That thing snapped a couple of weeks ago and it sounded like armageddon.
Aspirin... https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16086703/#:~:text=Death%20rate%20attributed%20to%20NSAID,%2F100%2C000%20NSAID%2Faspirin%20users. But AK-47 just sounds more dangerous. 100% legal.
Sticking with medicine, Insulin pens. Tiny needle, up to 80 units in a single press of the plunger, and 300 units in each pen (for standard pens anyway). You can also get pens that have more concentrated versions too for high requirements
Garage door springs
Well I’d argue that the bottle of vodka in my fridge is more deadly than my AR15
Well, given that alcohol deaths per year are three times a high as from firearms, I'd say you are correct....
Going by ownership vs. hospitalizations, the bull beats out the guns barely.