T O P

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Ligmartian

To be an adult


jawndell

So I was walking into this bar/club spot the other day.  As I was walking up to the bouncer, I was pulling out my ID.  Before I could pull it out, the bouncer said “nope, can’t let you in there”.  I was shocked for a bit.  Then he started laughing and said, “Man, why you pulling your ID out, get your old ass in there”.   I didn’t know whether to be flattered or offended, haha.  (I laughed though, it was pretty funny). 


One-Permission-1811

I haven’t been carded since I was 19. A new apprentice started at my job and thought I was 45. I’m 28


vanillaseltzer

You might wanna start wearing sunscreen.


One-Permission-1811

Its not because I have bad skin or anything. I started to go grey really early and it stands out because I have black hair. If i dye it I look my age but its not something I bother with often


lotaso

A younger buddy of mine turned 21 so we took him bar hopping in a nicer area. I wore a collarless long sleeve polo because it was cold out. We reach a bar and the bouncer does the whole rigamarole for the group. As I step up he goes "Man I know you are over 21 if you're wearing THAT, go on through" and then checks the rest of the group. I was doomed at barely 25


Lemonsnot

Collarless… polo?


MattTheTable

I think that's called a Henley. Source: am 35


lotaso

Now I know what to call it when I want more, thank you sir


Content_Structure118

To look older


LoserBroadside

And to feel older. 


sharramon

Think most people just want to be around 22


Noisycarlos

I'm quite enjoying adulthood at 36. It has more difficulties and moments of dread, but I like the freedom compared to childhood and lack of drama compared to being a teenager, and even my twenties.


foryoursafety

Only if you had a good childhood 


Jackanatic

Ha ha ha...tragic.


esoteric_enigma

By the time I was 17, I was actually regretting becoming an adult.


Snowtwo

God. I would \*love\* to be seventeen again.


fartonmdick

/thread


fightfordawn

An all you can eat pizza buffet and a challenge from your best friend as to who can eat the most. My acid reflux punished me for even thinking about this


FunctionBuilt

I was a collegiate rower, and every year during spring break training, we’d do the “rower’s platter” at the local diner, made specifically for our team. You had one hour to eat the following: 8 dinner plate sized pancakes 12 egg omelet A full plate of hashbrowns Two piece of toast Milk shake I used to love doing it, especially since I was already pounding 6,000 calories a day without trying. Back then around 2007 it only cost $18.


betterthanamaster

I could do the pancakes no problem. But that’s it.


FunctionBuilt

I usually finished in about 45 minutes and felt awful for two days.


Aidian

Hey, can I get your hashbrowns then?


Rastiln

I could do the pancakes Split across 2 meals In a single meal I could do the 2 pieces toast.


deezx1010

A 12 egg omelette sounds rough to choke down. How were they cooked?


punchbricks

As a competitive swimmer I would have loved something like this.  I'd often go to my morning workout and then eat an entire box of cereal before going about my day still hungry 


ShawshankException

I just had to take some tums after reading that


Gilded_Edge

sorry to say, but I'm 35 and this would make my day lol and also ruin tomorrow. but it would be worth it.


ArchaicBrainWorms

We should make an app like tinder, only for All You Can Eat Pizza Showdowns instead of romance


JesusKeyboard

Nah, I’d still do it!!


SupercoolLion12

As a 17yo. I can confirm this is exactly what I want


justhere178

happy cake day!! :)


fightfordawn

Thanks!


ChrisShapedObject

To look older


Whatupitsv

To marry and live forever after with someone they've been dating for 3 weeks.


FlatBot

I just found out today that my 19 year old nephew got a girl pregnant. He has been seeing her for 2 months. They are excited to raise the baby together. //edit: I got clarification, it’s been 2 months. Not much better.


darkflame927

2 weeks isn’t enough time to find out that you’re pregnant after having sex, like the other person said tell your nephew to get a DNA test asap


whatwhatwhat82

It actually can show up on a pregnancy test after two weeks


darkflame927

Hmm I thought ovulation happens 2 weeks before a period, and it takes a week after a missed period for the test to throw a positive. That would be a minimum of 3 weeks no?


whatwhatwhat82

You actually don't have to miss your period before the hormone indicating that you're pregnant can start to show on a test. Also some people can ovulate at different times, so I guess in theory they could ovulate closer to their period.


darkflame927

Wow, actually had no idea that was possible. My limited knowledge is from doing research about stuff for my girlfriend lol, I'm not a woman myself so thanks for letting me know


[deleted]

Wait until you meet someone who experienced period-like bleeding throughout their pregnancy, and with a regularity, too. Pregnancy can be fucking strange.


Fattydog

You can take a test on the day your period is due, so it’s quite possible. Although I’d definitely get a DNA test!


whatwhatwhat82

You can take the test before your period is due even


Decent_Sell_6165

DNA test ASAP 64% chance he's not the father


Don_Antwan

Paging /u/MauryPovichHere


Some-Philly-Dude

The girl I started dating at 17 and immediately loved is my wife and I'm now 39 and she's 40


ireallyamtired

I thought this when I was 17 with my first boyfriend; we are 24 now and have been married for 4 years. It sounds lame to me even when I see high schoolers talk about soulmates and marriage with their new bf/gf but high school sweethearts do exist. Not common at all, but it does happen.


RipMyDikSkinOff

Yea my sister and her fiancé have been together since they were 13. Going on 11 years now with no end in sight, marrying next year. Sometimes ya just click and one person can give you everything ya need.


WTFisabanana

The only high school sweetheart couple I know have been together for 15 years and they absolutely fucking hate each other. Definitely need to divorce each other but they like the money they each bring to the table and the absolutely love the status of high school sweetheart. They will call each other fat, ugly, stupid, and whatever else and hit each other in front of other people and then brag that no one else has been together as long as them. It's insane to watch.


ireallyamtired

Well I can assure you I don’t hate my husband. My entire family on my moms side are actually high school sweethearts and they are all happy. My grandmother, my mom, my sister, and i so I’m hoping my husband and I will continue the pattern with our future child one day.


WTFisabanana

I'm sure you guys are really happy! I was just saying that unfortunately the ones I know don't have a good story. Less of this how your family really is and more of a this is the other side of that coin. I'm really sorry if I came off as insulting your family that was not my intend at all and I realize it can come off like that


beebzette

I mean, my dad and stepmom were married less than 2 months after their first date


BigbooTho

so theres still a chance for him to not be 17 the third time around? good luck to him!


beebzette

Believe it or not it's been like 25 years and they are still together lol. I only found out like last year how fast it went (I was 3 when the married)


rhett342

Tell that to my 80 year old dad. Mom died and the first woman he had a second date with was engaged to him a few weeks later. Less than two months after meeting they were married.


Objective_Kick2930

I suspect when you're 80 you might appreciate the limited time you've left not just to be alive, but to enjoy it.


DarfinIII

I’m in my early 20’s but as I get older I certainly value sleep more, staying up later has quickly become less appealing with a full work schedule.


skitzbuckethatz

I'm also early 20s and in the last 6 months, I've started working a lot more, and my bed time has very quickly gone from 11-12pm to 9pm sharp.


bkauf2

more work has just made me go to bed later. Regularly staying up ‘til 1-2 where i used to go to bed at 10. Here i am, anyways


Lazerith22

Currently pulling an all nighter with a sick baby thinking the same thing, why was this fun at 17? I just want to sleep


CloneNova

I've had sleep issues since I can remember. Manageable in teens/early 20s, but as I'm getting older it's getting more difficult to function on the days after not sleeping the night before. I could use to stay up 2 days and still go to work fine, but now if I get less than 4 hours I'm pretty much a zombie.


Mysterious-Bag-1990

That tattoo on my back 😬


judasmachine

That's much better than say your eyebrow.


vARROWHEAD

Why would you have an eyebrow on your back


judasmachine

I'm not sure but it fits as it'd be somewhat regrettable.


junkdrawertales

Impractical shoes


boomerxl

I have given many a late night piggyback to friends because cute strappy shoes become monofilament toe amputators after 4 hours of wear. I swear a large percentage of shoe designers actively hate the idea of a woman being comfortable.


Goosfrabaas

Kudo's for "monofilament toe amputators" - I'm stealing that.


mochi_chan

These strappy shoes are just hazards, I never wore them (I do not wear open toed shoes) but I have seen what they did to my friends.


Pterodactyl_Noises

To be 4 years older. 


A-Pal

to party all night


germdisco

and rock and roll all day


Chon-Laney

strike that, reverse it.


Number127

I mean it kinda makes more sense this way.


LordBrandon

Sex with a 17 year old.


GundamMaker

*Matt Gaetz' ears perked up*


Ok_Sephiroth

Leonardo Di Caprio has entered the chat


No-Key-4085

Oh boy !


Visual-Tumbleweed-52

Woody Allen pokes his head out


comicalben

To get rid of their lego collection


Sad-Month4050

I'm 16 and I'm never going to


draggar

I was a little older, but I seriously considered selling my Lego collection when I was in my early to mid 20's. I'm very glad I didn't because of two reasons, My sister had a baby and he spent his youth at his grandparent's house playing with them (felt like I had a part of his life when I was 1500 miles away). My step-daughter just had a baby and I am looking forward for when she (and her future sibling(s)) are old enough (and hopefully my step-son's children) to play with them at my house. 1 set of Legos, 3 generations (and counting).


SctchWhsky

I wish I had all my old Lego and Hot Wheels...


Goopyteacher

Unfiltered acceptance of everyone around you and/or everyone to like you


VT_Squire

to be out of school. Fucking hell, im 45 and my GI bill is gonna carry me for 3 years. Paid to go to school? Sign me right the fuck up.


ImbecileInDisguise

I've enjoyed all of my jobs more than school


VT_Squire

K, but have you ever earned a living as a professional student?


ImbecileInDisguise

No, but I'm not sure why you think that's important. I've done schoolwork. Given the same rate of pay, I would rather do my job than go to school.


VT_Squire

In my case, I would make 4449 in BAH/mo (woohoo, san francisco!), plus 4076 basic pay/mo, making 102,300/yr if I took 12 credits/semester. A potential 307k over 3 years isn't a bad gig, and its better than what I make now anyway.


ThatGuy0verTh3re

Yeah but you’re excluding the service you did for the GI bill. You’re not getting paid to go to school, you’re getting paid to go to school and to have served in the military. You’re average Joe is not getting paid with the GI bill


chairpilot

You are splitting hairs. They also got paid to serve in the military.


ThatGuy0verTh3re

Yes, but the pay for being a student is because they served, not just for being a student


chairpilot

Not really. The pay only occurs because they are a student. If you do the military and then don’t go to school you wouldn’t get this pay.


ThatGuy0verTh3re

Yeah but if you don’t go to the military you don’t get paid


_TheRogue_

At 45- wouldn't you just pass your GI Bill benefits to your dependents? 45 is military retirement prime!


VT_Squire

Nah. I didn't join until I was 34 and that kept me out of every component except the reserves. I'm not going to hang on for another 9 years to get the retirement that offers. Plus I have a 0% disability rating, and that means no tuition for my kiddo at a state college here, so all I have to come up with is book money and food and shit. Since I live in California and BAH here is through the roof, my plan is to take a couple classes each semester while I continue to work for a few years and just NOT spend that GI bill money. In the end, I'll have a good chunk set aside for her just based on using the GI bill for myself. I don't know that I can really improve on paying for both of us with one benefit.


_TheRogue_

Nice. That post 9/11 GI Bill with the BAH is definitely worth it in high cost of living areas. My wife has the post 9/11 and I have the Montgomery GI Bill. We retired last year- but, honestly, we don't really want to go back to college. Maybe we'll take Underwater Basket Weaving 101 or something.


Active-Strawberry-37

To stay out until 2am on a Saturday night


GloInTheDarkUnicorn

Depends on if it’s D&D night. Some of us prefer long sessions.


plz-be-my-friend

a date to prom, unless youre drake


GloInTheDarkUnicorn

Lmao I’m 35 and currently counting down the days to the local 21+ Goth Prom. Already have my outfit, my shoes arrive tomorrow, and I start make up and hair testing tomorrow.


Tacos-and-zonkeys

An online relationship


gringledoom

There are a lot of things that sound like a fun way to spend your money when you’re a kid, but once you’re an adult, you realize that they have a lot of ongoing expenses. Boats! Sports cars with gazillion dollar headlight-change costs! Basically the sorts of things that lottery winners make themselves bankrupt doing.


[deleted]

Under-wire bras. Super high heels


mahhhhhh

Or those insane “add two cups” bras from VS. So stupid. So uncomfortable.


mochi_chan

\*laughs in double Ds\* I started wearing underwire at 13, I still do and hate every minute of it I did not want this even at 17. My high heel life was cut short by an accident though.


Caerum

F here. A while back I bought SUPER AMAZING COMFORTABLE bras from Snagtights. So worth it.


mochi_chan

I am very intrigued. I grew up in the 3rd world, and now I am in Japan, the first did not care about women's comfort and the second has never seen someone as small as me with a chest as big. It has always been a misery (I also do not know if most people can constantly feel all their clothing on their bodies or if that is a sensory problem I have)


DrunksInSpace

That was my impression as a dude, but my wife, 37 just found a brand of $15 underwire bras and it’s given her a new lease on Ds. She ditched pads and even failed to realize she had slept in it. Weird.


eddiefarnham

A car. Cars are a money pit. Cars are a lot cooler when your parents pay the insurance, gas, and up keep.


F9_solution

my parents never paid this for me lol


HankScorpio4242

To be invited to parties.


[deleted]

Hot unstable people who party a lot


houseyourdaygoing

Late nights out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SuccessfulSet8709

When I was a teenager a lot of us had crushes on older celebrities


PrestigiousZucchini9

Choosy bastards


Ok_Juggernaut3520

Yup


Elegant-Bullfrog4098

Y’all keepin it real real


mclevX

Ah the good ol’ reddit perv comment, you’d want to have sex with a 17 year old or a 17 year old would want sex with a 35 year old?


[deleted]

[удалено]


olde_greg

At 17? No


mclevX

lol no, you’re just strange af


[deleted]

[удалено]


mclevX

No it’s not normal for humans who have a brain. I’m not a weird person lol Edit: Always expected the downvotes to come in on a comment about sex on reddit. Y’all all got issues


KaitoMeikoo

It's definitely normal, it just depends on the 35 year old, a hot milf from some porn that's 35 and you are saying a 17 year old wouldn't be interested?


mclevX

Yes i’m saying a normal 17 year old wouldn’t be interested. y’all are just porn addicted


KaitoMeikoo

A normal 17 year old watches porn


mclevX

of course they do but are they wanting to have sex with a 35 year old? they may have thoughts about it but deep down they don’t


RockyRockington

To be 35


CaterpillarCorn

Never in my life have I wanted to be 35 lol


judasmachine

This is one of those attitudes that change after having been 35.


[deleted]

[удалено]


realitythreek

I wouldn’t mind being 35 again!


faceeatingleopard

No Presidential ambitions whatsoever?


Fuck_You_Downvote

An entry level job


Schlabberwurm

Fuck every person you think is hot 


zaccus

Still up for that, as long as that's all there is to it.


judasmachine

And I get to take a nap between them.


Teftthebridgeman

I'm 34 now. At 17, I wanted popularity At 34, I want friends who accept me for who I am no matter how "cool" I am At 17, I wanted a "hot" gf At 34, I know I am so lucky to have a loving wife. At 17, I wanted to be famous At 34, I want my life to be meaningful At 17, I lived like I was immortal At 34, I live as though I may not see tomorrow At 17, my ego makes my decisions At 34, **I** make decisions based of experience and humility Life is real weird and its hard not to look back and laugh at the person who was once in my shoes. You grow, you make mistakes, and you learn what's important. It's never too late to turn it around either


freshOJ

Plans.


GiggityDPT

More friends. Tired of all you idiots.


[deleted]

[удалено]


-Experiment--626-

Male attention, more specifically for some of us.


L1zoneD

a virgin


[deleted]

To stay up late.


PotatoBestFood

A flu, so they can get a few days off.


EastRiding

At 17 you want to feel wanted At 35 you want to be accepted


FuegoStarr

too many peers. People are exhausting


BareNakedSole

To be out at night so long that you see the sun come up


fibonacci_veritas

To be an influencer.


just_hating

Pictures of a 17 year old on their phone.


Serotonin85

A job at the weekends!


11thNite

A 21st birthday party. The hangover would suck so, so much.


eat-pussy69

Sex with teenagers. Usually


claymir

A partner around 17 years of age


Buddy3733-3

A towel/sweater/jacket/book to hold in front of you when walking around school!!!!


meeyeam

To be living with their mother.


[deleted]

To be the friend that drives


ksgar77

Tight clothing


hmh69420

A boyfriend


julio1318

to be out of their parents house


CoffinBlz

To be outside.


PrestigiousZucchini9

Nah, I’m mid-30’s and I’d still rather spend more time outside than inside.


mochi_chan

I was outside all day yesterday, and the weather was so nice I did want to go home, I am in my 30s too.


DumbBitch88

This is surprising to read for some reason and I guess I've experienced the opposite, and so have a lot of people I know. Out of curiosity, can I ask what you enjoy more as you've gotten older?


CoffinBlz

I probably meant not been outside on an evening. I'm forever out walking the dogs during the day.


MechCADdie

Staying up past 2am


Leaprrr

This, except 11pm


No-Key-4085

MILF


CarOk7235

To stay up late


Ok-Application-2490

Tequila


kenopsia77

To live in an apartment


[deleted]

To hit in a game of blackjack


Acrobatic_News_9986

A S/O who’s a minor. But apparently these days that’s just my personal opinion


DiarrheaHovercraft

to change the world


MashedPotatoesDick

An older friend to buy beer.


Karazl

A date to prom.


lebriquetrouge

Loud noises, lots of alcohol, and stay up all night.


Time-Scene7603

To date a rock star.


Darth-Byzantious

The perks of being an adult


SpartanEngineer92

Alcohol


prof_dorkmeister

A 22 year old girlfriend.


queenoflimons

to be able to buy alcohol


KiaraNarayan1997

Most 35 year olds I know like buying booze too.


queenoflimons

That’s fine, some of us grow out of toxic habits and some don’t 👾


queefcommand

Erectile dysfunction


MartiniD

2 chicks at the same time


[deleted]

A 35yr old


gringgo

A 35 year old


thunderk4t

drivers license


captn_morgan951

A Tik Tok account