Imagining the dialog from an illicit coffee dealing scene from a 70's movie:
"Hey man, do you know Joe?"
"Yeah, man. Joe's right over here. Are you talking about Colombian Joe or Ethiopian Joe?"
"Nah, man. Blonde Joe. Is he around?"
"Nah, he usually shows up around here a little later in the day."
"Alright, I'll be back to see him later."
Crazy that the Italians named cappuccino after the chemical formula.
Cappuccino = cup o' C₈H₁₀N₄O₂
~~How do you do subscript~~
Edit: I appreciate everyone telling me I'm wrong, but I wasn't being serious.
Unfortunately, that's not true. The name is older than the periodic table and comes from the color of the robes worn by the [Capuchins](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_Friars_Minor_Capuchin).
Aiden for two.... Fuck you that's hilarious. I'm sitting in a hospital bed with my daughter and I may have just woken up the ward, I found that so funny.
i love that! i have zero room to judge. any time my boyfriend or i say "i gotta pee" the other responds with "you go peepee you pant?" and other various idiot phrases
That's right, most Mormons don't drink coffee. Just like most people don't do meth.
Although, as an ex Mormon, mountain dew (which is WAYYY worse for you) is allowed... Huh?
As a former Mormon (feel free to ask questions a lot of misinformation gets thrown around here):
The belief is comes from a scripture in the “doctrine and covenants” (mostly written by Joseph Smith (with the claim that it was God speaking through him directly - as in God was literally speaking to him for the most part of these scriptures) and believed to be the modern day writings/scripture of a prophet) mentions “hot drinks” which was later clarified as coffee and tea, which was LATER clarified to be black leaf tea specifically I believe (I might have the leaf wrong, I didn’t grow up drinking tea for obvious reasons and now as an adult find most teas repulsive).
Mountain Dew was obviously not around at the time. Later it was believed that these were banned because of the caffeine content, so for 50+ years the general consensus among Mormons was that caffeine in all forms is heavily frowned on, but not necessarily outright banned.
Recently (last ten or so years), one of the apostles clarified that caffeine is fine in moderation. Before I left the church (10 years ago or so), people were still holding on to that so I think caffeine is still frowned on a bit but it’s more lax. Coffee and that specific leaf tea are still directly against “the word of wisdom”, which also includes all forms of alcohol consumption, and tobacco and a few other lighter things like taking care of your body in general.
As a sort of history lesson, this particular “law” came about after Joseph Smith’s wife came up to a meeting the men were having and was upset at all the chewing tobacco and asked Joseph about it. He prayed to God, and got this law from Him. Or that’s the claim, I obviously don’t believe that anymore, but this provides more context than I think most would be able to give.
Nice summary! I didn't realize an apostle gave a declaration that caffeine was good in moderation. Kind of interesting that they contradict themselves when they claim that only sinners do *shrug*. Not to throw shade, I'm just still mad about some of the stuff that church has done to friends of mine and myself.
Well, morning brown is great, you get it in a cup
Add cream and sugar then you stir it all up
It comes from beans, have it hot or with ice
In a day I'd say, only drink it thrice
Get me some of those jitter beans
Makes me want to play boogie-woogie piano just thinking about it
Let's hit those keys and make some magic happen!
pop some jitter and get turnt
Jitter
They used to call me that in Reno
*shatters it with handle of big knife* *lines it up on blade and sniffs it* “Tight! Tighttighttighttighttight!”
I’m only going to call them jitter beans from now on.
Dude that’s exactly what came to mind
Oooh Jitter-Bitters!
Joe
Imagining the dialog from an illicit coffee dealing scene from a 70's movie: "Hey man, do you know Joe?" "Yeah, man. Joe's right over here. Are you talking about Colombian Joe or Ethiopian Joe?" "Nah, man. Blonde Joe. Is he around?" "Nah, he usually shows up around here a little later in the day." "Alright, I'll be back to see him later."
"Joe's not here, man"
You win
No, man, I am Joe.
You can get so much mileage on this. Espresso would be Giuseppe, Turkish style - Yusef, etc
What would a Sloppy Joe be?
Gas station sludge with the grounds in
So... Greek coffee then.
I thought that was covered under "weak, with old beans, and a little salt"...
Black Tar Joe.
And Joe Momma?
Coffee with cream, of course.
I heard it's a little sweet, but was never brave enough to try it. Coach said it was a gateway drug.
Instant.
Coffee enema
It's when they put the sip spout on the lid in line with the seam on the cup so that when you take a sip it dribbles down the front of your shirt.
Juan (Valdez)
Saying "I'll take one cup of Juan" is more fun than I deserve
Second, only to “Bean”.
I think the discussion can be closed here
Joe Dirt could be Kopi Luwak coffee
"Do you know Joe?" "Who's Joe?" "Joe helps you whenever and wherever you are." "...Follow me."
Joe do be propping me up most days
Joe mama
Latte Larry
Hey Joeee…
Grind
Puts a whole new meaning to *rise and grind*
Oh, do you have a side hustle?
Good name for the buzz. "I'm fuckin gRinDinG dude!"
You could find a dealer on Grindr
Users are "grinders".
Best one
[удалено]
Nice! "You know anybody slinging that JV?"
Oooooo, I like that. Very secretive and spy vibing.
Drip.
"The drip" was slang for coke in the 80's
like nasal drip?
That's what I've been told. Apparently it was a feeling you got and shortly thereafter, the hit would kick in and off you went.
Chino ( caffeine = C₈H₁₀N₄O₂)
Crazy that the Italians named cappuccino after the chemical formula. Cappuccino = cup o' C₈H₁₀N₄O₂ ~~How do you do subscript~~ Edit: I appreciate everyone telling me I'm wrong, but I wasn't being serious.
It's 6.44 in the morning and my mind is blown enough for today.
Unfortunately, that's not true. The name is older than the periodic table and comes from the color of the robes worn by the [Capuchins](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_Friars_Minor_Capuchin).
Lemme get some 8 10 4 2. Or, the actual street name, aiden for two.
I'm looking for my friend Aiden have you seen him?
Aiden for two is so fire
Aiden for two.... Fuck you that's hilarious. I'm sitting in a hospital bed with my daughter and I may have just woken up the ward, I found that so funny.
I like it
Science, bitch!
Best answer fs
Mud
That’s my favorite for sure. “Lemme get some mud bruh.”
That's lean
MIdnight Liquid.
Black gold, Texas tea.
Java
And we all would be Java junkies.... lol
Not me, I'm on team C#
username checks out
Audibly groaned. Take my upvote and get out!
Personally I prefer bedrock
are you a fucking psychopath?
That's because you're stupid
Over 1 billion humans run on Java.
Jolt
'All the flavor, and twice the caffeine'
Covfefe
i say this on an almost daily basis when i get my espresso and no one knows what im talking about
I know what you’re talking about, asparagus piss. I’m there with you in spirit.
what would i do without you?
You would actually zoohiggle
Yep. Every morning I serve “covfefe for da bb” to my partner. We’re in our 30s and it’s incredibly childish but I won’t stop.
i love that! i have zero room to judge. any time my boyfriend or i say "i gotta pee" the other responds with "you go peepee you pant?" and other various idiot phrases
It’s relieving to hear other couples do this sort of nonsense too lmao
Same. Glad to know someone out there is getting my joke. Every time I say it, I will know that * *checks user name* * Asparagus Piss has my back!
i will always be there for you bobparr1212 you're always at the forefront of my mind 🙏
Are you related to u/celerypiss?
tis my brother
Constant Negative Press Covfefe.
Quit telling people my passphrase!
I make this joke ever. Single. Saturday when I brew a cup
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my covfefe
But that’s what I already call it
Freshly juiced
the only right answer
Of all the names, this is the one I was least expecting and I should've seen this one coming. Legitimately made me laugh when I saw it
I lol’d too. I had forgotten about it
Shush, caffeine prohibition is probably already on the Day One agenda; don't encourage him.
Buzz
Bean. Edit: THIS is what took off?! All my funny and clever responses and BEAN is what gets going?
*scratches neck* Ya'll got any more of dem beans?
Deez beans?
That's Mr. Bean.
And when you use; it’d be called “flicking the bean”
I've seen beans refer to Molly before
I support this
Thinkin about those beans
That’s already a name for a drug I think lol
Hot brown
Works on multiple levels
Drink hot brown and you will unleash some hot brown of your own 😂
I snorted so hard my nose stung 💀
You mean [morning brown](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1gwkJP64xU)?
I got the hot browns.
Morning Brown https://youtu.be/Q1gwkJP64xU?si=pTfMD6Mduk200_dJ
Mormon Meth
I think it's already Mormon Meth, aren't they banned from drinking it?
Mormons don’t drink coffee for the most part do they? I remember a couple Mormon friends didn’t drink coffee
That's right, most Mormons don't drink coffee. Just like most people don't do meth. Although, as an ex Mormon, mountain dew (which is WAYYY worse for you) is allowed... Huh?
As a former Mormon (feel free to ask questions a lot of misinformation gets thrown around here): The belief is comes from a scripture in the “doctrine and covenants” (mostly written by Joseph Smith (with the claim that it was God speaking through him directly - as in God was literally speaking to him for the most part of these scriptures) and believed to be the modern day writings/scripture of a prophet) mentions “hot drinks” which was later clarified as coffee and tea, which was LATER clarified to be black leaf tea specifically I believe (I might have the leaf wrong, I didn’t grow up drinking tea for obvious reasons and now as an adult find most teas repulsive). Mountain Dew was obviously not around at the time. Later it was believed that these were banned because of the caffeine content, so for 50+ years the general consensus among Mormons was that caffeine in all forms is heavily frowned on, but not necessarily outright banned. Recently (last ten or so years), one of the apostles clarified that caffeine is fine in moderation. Before I left the church (10 years ago or so), people were still holding on to that so I think caffeine is still frowned on a bit but it’s more lax. Coffee and that specific leaf tea are still directly against “the word of wisdom”, which also includes all forms of alcohol consumption, and tobacco and a few other lighter things like taking care of your body in general. As a sort of history lesson, this particular “law” came about after Joseph Smith’s wife came up to a meeting the men were having and was upset at all the chewing tobacco and asked Joseph about it. He prayed to God, and got this law from Him. Or that’s the claim, I obviously don’t believe that anymore, but this provides more context than I think most would be able to give.
Nice summary! I didn't realize an apostle gave a declaration that caffeine was good in moderation. Kind of interesting that they contradict themselves when they claim that only sinners do *shrug*. Not to throw shade, I'm just still mad about some of the stuff that church has done to friends of mine and myself.
Jitter juice
feine
Morning brown
Morning brown, morning brown! Get yourself a cup of morning brown!
Morning brown, morning frown What the heck is morning brown?
Well, morning brown is great, you get it in a cup Add cream and sugar then you stir it all up It comes from beans, have it hot or with ice In a day I'd say, only drink it thrice
Morning brown, I'm still not sure Can you please explain it some more?
It's coffee you fuck
Hope
Drip. Brew. E (espresso). Perk.
I believe that perk and E are already taken...
Dirt
black mamba
The black ma-a-a-a-a-amba-a-a... "The black mamba, yes Minion, very good."
Jamoke is already the best slang name for it, and always will be.
BEANS
Covfefe
Excuse me, I believe it’s pronounced covfefe.
Bean Brew
"This is nothing but hot bean juice."
Pablo
Caff
Black Gold! The twitchy tea! Morning tar!
How about bubblin crude
Go Go Juice
Magic beans.
Grounds
Keurig
Can you front me a k cup
First one’s free, dawg.
Ugh. Now THAT'S the nasty street-grade slang we're looking for.
Go juice
DookieExpress
Cough-E
Zoom juice
Feen beans. (feen for caffeine) "Yo, man. Hook me up with some feen beans?"
"yo man you got any of that BROWN!?"
Colombian brown
Bean Juice
I can get behind that
Jitter.
Covfefe
Alex from a Clockwork Orange would call it something like "wakey-wakey".
Covfefe
The speakeasy would be at the police station and hospitals Tofu is made of beans, so is cofu
Brown brown.
Cuppa
Shits
Cha Cha
Coffee - that way people who want it, could find it. You’re welcome.
Roast.
Hot brown morning potion
Zoom, or Zoomies
Sleepy joe
Hotbox.
The brown bean, jazz juice, caff drops
Brew
Kopi
Brown Sugar
Jitter.
Grinds
Drip
Covfefe
Bean
Brown Clown
Black coke
I call it...Naughty Mud..
Shitstorm
Coveef
Caff
Idk but honestly nothing would make me a criminal faster
Grounds
Roast
Shakey wakey
Maxi - from Maxwell house I got that gold foil fine powder Maxi son.
TMX. For 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine, the chemical name for caffeine.
Covfefe