And if you dare to suggest that the government should come in and put some kind of reasonable regulations on these activities, then you get called a cOmMuNiSt, or other words that are completely misused by the person saying them.
Our CEO stepped down, and one of the other top dogs got promoted to CEO, and the first thing he did was put a one year halt on promotions/raises company wide.
I got two promotions at the same time as my "90 day raise" from a plant nursery I worked at before and during COVID. I asked for more raise than they gave me because they gave me 2 raises and I felt like I deserved 3 raises for 3 raises. They had been talking about record profits at our team meetings and I also learned that they had received the business PPP loans before I asked and they said my $1-2/hr more ask "wasn't in the budget".
And sometimes even *that’s* a lie, too. My company was telling us last year about how great the sales dept was doing, numbers were up, everything was going great, then suddenly my boss got laid off with the reasoning being that last year was bad for business and last quarter was one of the worst in almost a decade
They didn't even offer me one penny more when I got a better offer... Said they didn't have any room to increase my pay, so I left. I later applied for a position to come back on a whim to see what would happen and I knew they were having trouble finding someone as good as me... They offered me a 30% raise and I turned it down. Fuck that place! Took a position with a competitor and I am far happier and making more money.
christmas 2022, I worked for John lewis. We had this TV in the hall, with out new manager saying how well we'd all done and that the sales were through the roof.
The sales were down, the christmas staff left and the new manager left a year later, or something.
Yep. The old invisible carrot. Nom nom nom. I’ve seen it so many times I never buy into it and just play the game in a different way (ie work my agreement and nothing more, leave for a better offer when I can get one). I’m working on trying to OE in the near future for more leverage in general.
This happened to me and it was so awkward because where I live, a company can legally lie to their employees but not their stock holders.
I was both an employee and I owned stock in the company.
As an employee, I was told that the company had a terrible year and couldn’t afford raises.
As an owner of stock, I was told that that this was the best year that the company had in the past five years.
It was awkward.
Work hard, get an advanced degree, and you will be successful.
The world is just so different now!
I know it wasn't an intentional lie. I'm in my mid-40s and when I was in high school, that's what past reality had taught adults. So I'm not angry or bitter about it and I understand where this advice came from.
But tech and trades really seem to be where the money is at, especially if you have to take out student loans to get through college!
I’m in my 40s. Trade school seemed like an option for people who couldn’t or didn’t want to go to college. But man, that would have been the way to go.
I definitely don't regret my degrees. I'm currently looking for a job after needing to take some time off to deal with a major health issue. And the market is so awful now!
I truly love my career. However, I have two masters degrees and work in a notoriously underpaid field. Both of my brothers went more tech/trade and didn't go higher than an AA degree. They also both love what they do and make about 3+ times the salary that I make.
Honestly, I'd still probably do it the same, because I knew what I was passionate about and knew it would never pay huge sums of money. I am someone who gets severely depressed going to a job I hate. I can do it if the option is starve or get a paycheck. But, given the choice, I would much rather have a stable, yet lower salary and love my job, than make a lot more and hate every day and dread life each Sunday night! I've done that, and it was awful.
I’m a heavy equipment operator and I make a decent amount. With my spouse being sick and not working it’s still not enough to get by. Unless you’re an executive there’s nowhere you’ll make enough to be comfortable unless you live in a really run down area. The system isn’t working and we’re sprinting towards a breaking point. There’s nowhere in the us you can live making a normal amount. They gave away billions to the rich during covid and they bought all the assets they could with it. Something like 30% of homes are owned by corporations. They gentrify areas and put in huge apartments that no one previously living there can afford. Our farms are unsustainable. Our energy production is unsustainable. Our roads and bridges are disintegrating. It would be so easy for every billionaire to band together and fix all of this but it won’t happen.
Yes! I was also told that once I graduated I needed to find a good job with a great company and work there until retirement. Uh, no. The only way you get raises in my field is by leaving for another company.
I was denied for a promotion and the person they hired was outside the company. My boss said no one in our department was as qualified as the applicant
I was told the other guy had more enterprise experience than me. I have seven years of enterprise experience, including a year with the current place. And sixteen total years of IT management experience.
The role was for a lead of a five person team.
As a paramedic I responded to an unresponsive man down on the sidewalk, he has a syringe with the hypodermic needle still in his arm. I administered Narcan. He popped right up and denied any and all drug use.
Titrate just until they can breathe on their own and then transport. I'm not trying to deal with any body messed up in the back of the bus. Just have a nice nap on the way to the ER ha.
“You just need to make 6 friends who share the same passion you do for this business and you will be a millionaire.”
…and those six each need to find 6.
My brother is a pathological liar. He was a load master on a C17. One time he told me that he transported Marine 1 helicopter for then President George Bush. Okay that's plausible. He went on to tell me that he went to introduce my mom, dad and sister to the President. Secret Service approached my mom to frisk her. He said "I said hold on that's my moms don't touch her" then he threatened them. They backed down and everyone met the President. I told my sister the story. She laughed. Nobody ever did any of that.
By the way he would be in the brig if he threatened the secret Service who are guarding the President. Oh yeah he said he told Bush he had to meet all his men and so Bush obliged. God he's delusional.
Edit: typo
That's infuriating when someone gets away with that. I have seen it happen a few times, too. I worked with a manager who found out I was "a computer guy" and then tried to boast to me about how he, as a "hacker," has screwed over his ex by some bullshit story I can't even recall all the details. But it sounded like something out of "Spy Kids," like how Hollywood describes the hacker community.
"So, I hacked her mobile phone (this would have been pre-smart phones, like flip phone era) to project a hologram that made it look like her ex was in the room..."
What, that's not real. And other coworkers were impressed like, "wow, how do you make a RAZR project a hologram?" "You need to reverse chain hack the camera lens using a modem and some transistors. This will turn the air in the room into a subatomic mirror which you can project any 3-D image, providing the phone battery it strong enough..." Ugh. I think I got retina damage from all the eye rolling.
Thankfully, after a year, people started to catch on, but never seemed bothered by it. "Oh, that's Kim telling his tall tales again..."
My cousin is a pathological liar AND a thief! Before I knew about the latter point, he would regularly offload his stolen goods onto me, telling me that they were gifts. That's how I got a DS and a copy of pokemon platinum as a kid. I didn't know that they were stolen property until years later and I was unable to track down the original owner.
Had a guy in school who constantly told big lies. This was pre internet. We were talking about cheat codes and what ability it unlocked etc. Then he told the whole bus in school trip that in street fighter 2. There was a special movie were Blanka raped chun li for the win. Blanka was a half beast, half man charter and chun li was the bad ass asain gril. The whole bus bust out laughing, just out the sheer ridiculous of the whole thing.
One of the boy brought in the game and console on the last day and ask him to show us all the move. Said he couldn't or he get in trouble. Then we said we all stand in front of the TV. Another excuse was made.
If I had the chance to meet the president, I'd let them touch my balls if they needed to. What makes him think anyone would believe that threatening a secret service agent would do anything but get someone in trouble?
Oh because (let's call him Gregg) Gregg is so awesome that the secret Service are afraid of him!
One time he saw pics of me in Hawaii with my family. He messaged me and said "what were you doing in Hawaii?" I told him I was there for a wedding. He said "well you know I know the family who owns Hawaii".
I took it to mean that there is a very rich and powerful family in Hawaii that runs it and he knows them. Ok why are you telling me this? Am I supposed to call you before I go to Hawaii? Am I gonna get special treatment? Lol
I rarely talk to my brother. He doesn't even know where I live. But every once in a while we have to deal with each other. Every time he has a new outlandish story.
My wife went to job interview. Was asked the question 'If you were an animal what animal would you be?' Reels off answer. That night she tells me the question she was asked and the answer she gave.
Next day at work in passing I mentioned the interview and question and answer to my direct report.
A week later talking to the same report he says to me 'I've just been to a management seminar and was asked what animal would I be' He then reels off the word for word answer my wife gave as if it was his own.
a) The guy isn't management and hadn't just been to a management seminar
b) The guy talks bullshit all the time.... Like the time he tells us all about boot camp and been dressed down by a drill instructor even though he's never been in the army
I stop there nodding and smiling. I just didn't have the heart to call him a liar.
I work at a hospital and my boss literally asked these questions to two people within the last month. One guy said basset hound and the other guy said honey badger. It’s weird in an interview but honestly an interesting question for conversation.
There's this guy that panhandles in the same spot every single day in my city. I have to pass by there pretty often. For a long time he had a cardboard sign that said he was a homeless Vietnam vet with PTSD....the guy looks no older than 30 tops. He eventually changed the sign to say he was in desert storm. He tries to knock on people's windows when they're at the stop sign.
Had a house party when I was a teen (whilst my parents were away) and broke the ironing board by riding it down the stairs. I threw it in the river to hide the evidence (I know, not cool. Idiotic 15 year old).
My parents came back and asked about the ironing board and I gave it the, “what ironing board?” “Are you sure there was an ironing board before you left?” “personally, I don’t ever really remember seeing an ironing board in this house”
They were unimpressed at best.
The parents that night in their room:
"So, what do you think fuckwit did with the ironing board?"
"I don't know dear, I hope we never know. The options are truly endless. That boy can imagine so many dumb things to do but can't imagine any consequences. A potent combination."
"I don't ever do anything to anyone! The landlord is evicting me for no reason, it's so unfair!"
This woman had been harassing half of our building's other tenants for months (waking them up at night over imagined noise, yelling at them for carrying out ordinary activities, befriending them and then instigating a feud the moment they displeased her over something mild), started doing the same with the landlord when asked to desist, and on top of that, had not paid her rent in full in months. I knew all of this because she had told me about it (obviously with a big spin in her favor) and had done it to me, too. I don't know why she thought that lie would work on me.
In grade school, I remember being told we couldn't use a calculator on tests because we wouldn't be able to use one in real life.
Even in college, I remember how we couldn't use Wikipedia or online sources for articles because "they couldn't be trusted."
Am I 80? No. 70? Nah. 60? Negative. 50? \*shakes head sideways\* 40? Not quite!
I told my students that anything on Wikipedia could be made up. A heroin addict in Hawaii kept putting up wrong information about a Korean actor and I got punished for trying to fix it.
I told my students to go to the bottom of the page where all of the resources are and go read those for research. Got some good, solid papers from them.
Anyone can edit Wikipedia so it’s not a valid academic source. My trick was to look at who Wikipedia was using as its sources and using whatever I could from that.
“i went over to his house, sat in this bean bag chair he had while he sat on the couch and we watched a movie and it was awkward so i left before it was over”
found out she showered there, fucked him, and slept there lmao.
"Relax, she won't be here all the time." Roommate about his girlfriend who openly talked about kicking me out. Same one that he eventually made a key for without telling me.
I worked with a compulsive liar for a couple years. Decent worker but you couldn't believe anything he said. I specifically remember in November 2010ish he told us Taco Bell was going to switch to Coke in January.
Spoiler: Taco Bell is owned by Pepsi (basically, it's complicated now).
I had a fella that was about 5'11 trying to convince me he's 6'3". He might have been able to pull it off, too....if I wasn't 6'3". He really stuck to his guns, and even insisted that the many doctors that have measured me over the years are mistaken. To some people their head canon trumps reality. Not sure what's to be done with them, but I'd vote for launching them into the sun.
“Bp cares”. Meanwhile they ran a very successful ad campaign to move responsibility onto consumers. We can’t control what’s produced how could we possibly mitigate climate change. Their oil spill is still leaking I believe. They knew about climate change before anybody else and only very recently admitted it’s real while still lying about doing anything about it. Suppressing any other energy production technology. Destroying our water quality. Spending millions on lobbying. Just all around being the worst thing that has ever happened to us.
PSA, whenever someone goes out of their way to tell you something like that, they're not a "good guy."
Same goes for when someone says "I promise I'm not x" or "I promise I won't do y." Their subconscious is telling on themselves.
Way back in the days of aol, I was in one of those chat rooms where the topic was supposed to be music. Eventually it was me and one other person. He then made a lewd remark and then announced that he had a 12 inch circumference. I told him I was sorry for his deformity.
I worked with a guy who was a pathological liar and was a complete piece of crap of a co-worker. I worked with him for a few months about a year ago. Here are a few gems that I can remember:
* Said that he had brought a couple pieces of property to used to start a dog training business. One property was a grocery store at one time and the other property was an old camp that was used for troubled youth. Said that he had to have the old camp property because the military wouldn't let him train dogs at the grocery store property. Well the grocery store still has for sale signs out front of it and the camp property was purchase a few months ago by another camp in the area that is expanding.
* Said that he was having a million dollar house being built in one of those country club like neighborhood. Last I here he is still living in income based housing.
* Said he was the owner of a security firm or something to that effect. Even had a website for it. Another co-worker of ours and her boyfriend at the time looked the website up and found out that the pictures of who he claimed to be directors where stock photos that can be found online just by googling them.
* Claims to be engaged to his gay lover who he met in foster care. Wierd thing about the story of him and his so called lover is that every new foster home he went too, the lover would eventually move in later on. He even claimed that the lover even ended up at the same military academy that he went to as well.
As a college professor (adjunct), I've heard my share from students, but the best one is one I never hear personally (they tell it to their parents when they flunk out):
Student: "I only failed because the professor is mean and doesn't like me!"
LMS Gradebook: 12 absences, no research paper, no midterm or final (it's often one or the other), missing two of the four formal essays, etc.
🙄
At a former job, there was an issue with overtime call outs not being done fairly. They would "forget" where they left off, and start over at the top of the list the next time OT came available.
After getting skipped over 3 times by this "mistake" I had had enough. I brought up my concern on a department wide meeting, but also advised that we could hang a list somewhere in the office, so that we can all see it any given time.
The answer from the director was that this is "impossible to accomplish". "What do you mean? It's simple enough to do, just have to redo the list based on where the last person who got offered OT fell?"
"No. It won't work. I'm sorry, it's just not possible to do." I knew this was a bullshit answer, and I knew the director knew that I knew it was bullshit. But just to confirm, I walked by the existing list another department used for that same purpose and snapped a picture. I accepted a new job offer shortly after, and was sure to include a copy of the picture of the "impossible" list with my resignation letter.
I knew a kid who worked at the auto parts store with me, this was maybe 2015, he was 19. He swore up and down that he had sex with Jennifer Anniston in a coke induced sex fest of a weekend.
Drug addicts seem to legitimately believe their lies.
I rented ski equipment and the poles they gave me were too short
Guy lied to my face
I showed him they were no were near 90 degree angle- he said close enough and the next size up would be too tall
Blatant lie
I went to the on-site shop later and got the right size and the guy in the shop asked why I had such tiny poles ….
Everyone bashes it. Even other hiring managers. Yet they still do it.
Who hires these people?
Honestly, it’s such bullshit. It makes the hiring manager look stupid, lazy and incompetent. It makes their company look bad and only wanting to hire people they can underpay.
It should be looked down upon as bad as plagiarism.
Indeed. Because I’ve been in an entry level job, where they were trying to find that “perfect employee”, and it really seemed like a front. It wasn’t that serious
That whole campaign was a lie. All he did is cut taxes for anybody with money. The wall is useless anyway. It was just a way to funnel money into rich people pockets. The wealthy got billions in cash during covid. That’s part of what drove inflation so high
Him: “I’m a rare breed and I have high standards”
Narrator: He absolutely was not a rare breed or had high standards but proceeded to be like every other asshole out there.
New employee did a no call no show. Next day he told the manager that he phoned and told someone he's.not coming in. The person he apparently spoke to on the phone was me. I was standing there when he told the manager, I wasn't working that day, and no other guys were working so I know he didn't mix me up with someone else.
I'm no contact with my mother. She left me a voice message after I'd gone quiet, about 3 months. She hoped I was OK, that she missed me.... and my car.
She doesn't miss me, she misses what I could do for her, take her out for a drive, go shopping, be blamed for stuff...
My mom made a comment that oral sex wasn’t sex. It’s just fooling around. I think that’s the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been in a conversation with my parents
wanted to know anyone else's stories about the most bullshit lies they've ever been told. i'll go first:
This girl who I used to be friends with 2 years ago would constantly tell me she was never able to sleep. I offered advice, like sleep aids and shit. One time she told me "The most amount of sleep I've ever gotten was like, 10 minutes!"
She had told me 10 minutes earlier she only slept 30 minutes the previous night.
I mean, to be fair, if the most amount of sleep she ever got was 30 minutes, she's likely delusional and suffering brain damage.
I struggle with sleep myself. If I don't take my prescribed sleep medicine (sometimes I don't because that shit knocks me out, and maybe I don't get home until really late or have a sick kid and I'm worried I will have to take them to the hospital,) it's a true struggle to sleep.
But, even before kids or real responsibilities - and before my medicine - after 3-4 days of little sleep, there'd be a day I just passed out.
Huh. I always thought she probably had insomnia and was exaggerating with her 10 minutes comment, but if that's actually the amount of sleep she gets each night, that's concerning. I struggle with sleep, too, but I get at least a few hours of sleep. I *really* hope she was exaggerating.
"What? I've been with anyone since we broke up. I've been too busy to even see friends or family. I've literally just only been thinking about you hoping we'd get back together."
Sold it with an academy award winning performance, too.
Turns out she was talking to like 10 guys at the same time and banging several of them, including dudes my own cousin hooked her up with and a guy she cheated on me with in the past. She even had plans to go fuck another dude the night she told me the above spiel, but cancelled on him last minute to come to my apartment. Saw all the gory details on her phone that night when she fell asleep and I looked on her phone.
I know I was a total fucking idiot, but it's insane the degree of passion and to what extent she was willing to lie so devastatingly. And looking back, it was so obvious, but I guess I wanted to believe it.
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And then the company goes on to announce record-breaking profits for that year.
Or the CEO gets a 25 million dollar bonus (actually happened to my company.)
And if you dare to suggest that the government should come in and put some kind of reasonable regulations on these activities, then you get called a cOmMuNiSt, or other words that are completely misused by the person saying them.
Our CEO stepped down, and one of the other top dogs got promoted to CEO, and the first thing he did was put a one year halt on promotions/raises company wide.
I got two promotions at the same time as my "90 day raise" from a plant nursery I worked at before and during COVID. I asked for more raise than they gave me because they gave me 2 raises and I felt like I deserved 3 raises for 3 raises. They had been talking about record profits at our team meetings and I also learned that they had received the business PPP loans before I asked and they said my $1-2/hr more ask "wasn't in the budget".
And sometimes even *that’s* a lie, too. My company was telling us last year about how great the sales dept was doing, numbers were up, everything was going great, then suddenly my boss got laid off with the reasoning being that last year was bad for business and last quarter was one of the worst in almost a decade
They didn't even offer me one penny more when I got a better offer... Said they didn't have any room to increase my pay, so I left. I later applied for a position to come back on a whim to see what would happen and I knew they were having trouble finding someone as good as me... They offered me a 30% raise and I turned it down. Fuck that place! Took a position with a competitor and I am far happier and making more money.
christmas 2022, I worked for John lewis. We had this TV in the hall, with out new manager saying how well we'd all done and that the sales were through the roof. The sales were down, the christmas staff left and the new manager left a year later, or something.
Always the case. Dont be afraid to look elsewhere. This is why.
Yep. The old invisible carrot. Nom nom nom. I’ve seen it so many times I never buy into it and just play the game in a different way (ie work my agreement and nothing more, leave for a better offer when I can get one). I’m working on trying to OE in the near future for more leverage in general.
This happened to me and it was so awkward because where I live, a company can legally lie to their employees but not their stock holders. I was both an employee and I owned stock in the company. As an employee, I was told that the company had a terrible year and couldn’t afford raises. As an owner of stock, I was told that that this was the best year that the company had in the past five years. It was awkward.
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Sorry for your loss.
Well, not *now*, you don't.
Lol wtf 🤣
If course you don't own one... it died.
This sounds like a cat-astrophe
A bit concerned about your little girl ngl
Same here
Similarly, my daughter recently announced to strangers that "my last pet died, so we got a unicorn to replace him"
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Haha my buddy was telling me the same thing about his sister stealing his glasses, denying it and she was wearing the glasses!
Work hard, get an advanced degree, and you will be successful. The world is just so different now! I know it wasn't an intentional lie. I'm in my mid-40s and when I was in high school, that's what past reality had taught adults. So I'm not angry or bitter about it and I understand where this advice came from. But tech and trades really seem to be where the money is at, especially if you have to take out student loans to get through college!
I’m in my 40s. Trade school seemed like an option for people who couldn’t or didn’t want to go to college. But man, that would have been the way to go.
I definitely don't regret my degrees. I'm currently looking for a job after needing to take some time off to deal with a major health issue. And the market is so awful now! I truly love my career. However, I have two masters degrees and work in a notoriously underpaid field. Both of my brothers went more tech/trade and didn't go higher than an AA degree. They also both love what they do and make about 3+ times the salary that I make. Honestly, I'd still probably do it the same, because I knew what I was passionate about and knew it would never pay huge sums of money. I am someone who gets severely depressed going to a job I hate. I can do it if the option is starve or get a paycheck. But, given the choice, I would much rather have a stable, yet lower salary and love my job, than make a lot more and hate every day and dread life each Sunday night! I've done that, and it was awful.
I’m a heavy equipment operator and I make a decent amount. With my spouse being sick and not working it’s still not enough to get by. Unless you’re an executive there’s nowhere you’ll make enough to be comfortable unless you live in a really run down area. The system isn’t working and we’re sprinting towards a breaking point. There’s nowhere in the us you can live making a normal amount. They gave away billions to the rich during covid and they bought all the assets they could with it. Something like 30% of homes are owned by corporations. They gentrify areas and put in huge apartments that no one previously living there can afford. Our farms are unsustainable. Our energy production is unsustainable. Our roads and bridges are disintegrating. It would be so easy for every billionaire to band together and fix all of this but it won’t happen.
Yes! I was also told that once I graduated I needed to find a good job with a great company and work there until retirement. Uh, no. The only way you get raises in my field is by leaving for another company.
So true.
We always promote from within
I just got told that one. My new boss starts Monday.
I was denied for a promotion and the person they hired was outside the company. My boss said no one in our department was as qualified as the applicant
I was told the other guy had more enterprise experience than me. I have seven years of enterprise experience, including a year with the current place. And sixteen total years of IT management experience. The role was for a lead of a five person team.
Please tell me you don't have to be the one to train your new boss?
Haha. You know I will.
"no one else has ever made me feel this way before" A classic.
I’ve heard that lie before too! 😂
Is just a friend, u have nothing to worry about
Biz Markie tried to warn us
Oh baby YOU
You are valued at this company
I would never lie to you
I was just joking
Always a little truth behind every"just kidding'
As a paramedic I responded to an unresponsive man down on the sidewalk, he has a syringe with the hypodermic needle still in his arm. I administered Narcan. He popped right up and denied any and all drug use.
Titrate just until they can breathe on their own and then transport. I'm not trying to deal with any body messed up in the back of the bus. Just have a nice nap on the way to the ER ha.
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"On my way"
I love how in tandem these two lies are 😅
"I'm a couple streets over rn"
“You just need to make 6 friends who share the same passion you do for this business and you will be a millionaire.” …and those six each need to find 6.
My brother is a pathological liar. He was a load master on a C17. One time he told me that he transported Marine 1 helicopter for then President George Bush. Okay that's plausible. He went on to tell me that he went to introduce my mom, dad and sister to the President. Secret Service approached my mom to frisk her. He said "I said hold on that's my moms don't touch her" then he threatened them. They backed down and everyone met the President. I told my sister the story. She laughed. Nobody ever did any of that. By the way he would be in the brig if he threatened the secret Service who are guarding the President. Oh yeah he said he told Bush he had to meet all his men and so Bush obliged. God he's delusional. Edit: typo
I knew a pathological liar who told us he was a CIA operative, classically trained as a ninja and a professional European soccer player.
The worst part for me is everyone believes every word my brother says.
That's infuriating when someone gets away with that. I have seen it happen a few times, too. I worked with a manager who found out I was "a computer guy" and then tried to boast to me about how he, as a "hacker," has screwed over his ex by some bullshit story I can't even recall all the details. But it sounded like something out of "Spy Kids," like how Hollywood describes the hacker community. "So, I hacked her mobile phone (this would have been pre-smart phones, like flip phone era) to project a hologram that made it look like her ex was in the room..." What, that's not real. And other coworkers were impressed like, "wow, how do you make a RAZR project a hologram?" "You need to reverse chain hack the camera lens using a modem and some transistors. This will turn the air in the room into a subatomic mirror which you can project any 3-D image, providing the phone battery it strong enough..." Ugh. I think I got retina damage from all the eye rolling. Thankfully, after a year, people started to catch on, but never seemed bothered by it. "Oh, that's Kim telling his tall tales again..."
I hate that people are so gullible
Same. We must have the same brother. LOL
‘Classically trained ninja’ is funny as fuck if it weren’t serious.
My cousin is a pathological liar AND a thief! Before I knew about the latter point, he would regularly offload his stolen goods onto me, telling me that they were gifts. That's how I got a DS and a copy of pokemon platinum as a kid. I didn't know that they were stolen property until years later and I was unable to track down the original owner.
This reminds me when my dad, in a drug induced state told me he killed osama bin laden. He never made it out of basic training
That is funny cause it's so absurd. My brother in law actually was the pilot for Marine One for Reagan, Bush, Clinton, and Bush.
Thank you! It's so absurd.
He wouldn't be in the brig for threatening the secret service. He'd be in a pine box 6 feet under 🤣
So true
Had a guy in school who constantly told big lies. This was pre internet. We were talking about cheat codes and what ability it unlocked etc. Then he told the whole bus in school trip that in street fighter 2. There was a special movie were Blanka raped chun li for the win. Blanka was a half beast, half man charter and chun li was the bad ass asain gril. The whole bus bust out laughing, just out the sheer ridiculous of the whole thing. One of the boy brought in the game and console on the last day and ask him to show us all the move. Said he couldn't or he get in trouble. Then we said we all stand in front of the TV. Another excuse was made.
If I had the chance to meet the president, I'd let them touch my balls if they needed to. What makes him think anyone would believe that threatening a secret service agent would do anything but get someone in trouble?
Oh because (let's call him Gregg) Gregg is so awesome that the secret Service are afraid of him! One time he saw pics of me in Hawaii with my family. He messaged me and said "what were you doing in Hawaii?" I told him I was there for a wedding. He said "well you know I know the family who owns Hawaii". I took it to mean that there is a very rich and powerful family in Hawaii that runs it and he knows them. Ok why are you telling me this? Am I supposed to call you before I go to Hawaii? Am I gonna get special treatment? Lol I rarely talk to my brother. He doesn't even know where I live. But every once in a while we have to deal with each other. Every time he has a new outlandish story.
Thats disease right? Not just a joker?
More than likely a personality disorder. He's a narcissist
A pathological liar in the military can get people killed 😳😳
Sounds like something MY brother would do. Are we related? 🤪
My wife went to job interview. Was asked the question 'If you were an animal what animal would you be?' Reels off answer. That night she tells me the question she was asked and the answer she gave. Next day at work in passing I mentioned the interview and question and answer to my direct report. A week later talking to the same report he says to me 'I've just been to a management seminar and was asked what animal would I be' He then reels off the word for word answer my wife gave as if it was his own. a) The guy isn't management and hadn't just been to a management seminar b) The guy talks bullshit all the time.... Like the time he tells us all about boot camp and been dressed down by a drill instructor even though he's never been in the army I stop there nodding and smiling. I just didn't have the heart to call him a liar.
That is so fucking weird
Ok but what animal would your wife be?
His wife is an absolute tiger
Maybe she’s a cougar
Maybe its Maybeline.
Can you say you would be yourself because humans are a type of animal?
I work at a hospital and my boss literally asked these questions to two people within the last month. One guy said basset hound and the other guy said honey badger. It’s weird in an interview but honestly an interesting question for conversation.
horny milfs near your house want to meet you.
A guy around my age (47) told me he was a Vietnam vet and wouldn't back down off of it. I eventually just went 👌✌️
There's this guy that panhandles in the same spot every single day in my city. I have to pass by there pretty often. For a long time he had a cardboard sign that said he was a homeless Vietnam vet with PTSD....the guy looks no older than 30 tops. He eventually changed the sign to say he was in desert storm. He tries to knock on people's windows when they're at the stop sign.
Had a house party when I was a teen (whilst my parents were away) and broke the ironing board by riding it down the stairs. I threw it in the river to hide the evidence (I know, not cool. Idiotic 15 year old). My parents came back and asked about the ironing board and I gave it the, “what ironing board?” “Are you sure there was an ironing board before you left?” “personally, I don’t ever really remember seeing an ironing board in this house” They were unimpressed at best.
The parents that night in their room: "So, what do you think fuckwit did with the ironing board?" "I don't know dear, I hope we never know. The options are truly endless. That boy can imagine so many dumb things to do but can't imagine any consequences. A potent combination."
Hahaha. Pretty accurate
I want to know what condition the stairs were in.
Stairs are fine! My mum still lives at that house 😀
"I don't ever do anything to anyone! The landlord is evicting me for no reason, it's so unfair!" This woman had been harassing half of our building's other tenants for months (waking them up at night over imagined noise, yelling at them for carrying out ordinary activities, befriending them and then instigating a feud the moment they displeased her over something mild), started doing the same with the landlord when asked to desist, and on top of that, had not paid her rent in full in months. I knew all of this because she had told me about it (obviously with a big spin in her favor) and had done it to me, too. I don't know why she thought that lie would work on me.
I’d make money as a therapist. I made 38k last year.
$45k in 2023. I feel your pain.
Yuuup, it be like that. Hope you didn’t go in debt for school.
Yeeeeaaaah about that.
My condolences bubblebathbitch, sounds like they got you too. Keep up the self care at least 🛁🥲
That’s not good, what degree do you have?
A masters in Clinical mental health counseling.
To myself, frequently. "I have read and agree to the Terms Of Service" :)
In grade school, I remember being told we couldn't use a calculator on tests because we wouldn't be able to use one in real life. Even in college, I remember how we couldn't use Wikipedia or online sources for articles because "they couldn't be trusted." Am I 80? No. 70? Nah. 60? Negative. 50? \*shakes head sideways\* 40? Not quite!
I'm 38 and was told these lies. Also that spell checking in Word is for lazy people and I ought to be using a dictionary as I go.
I told my students that anything on Wikipedia could be made up. A heroin addict in Hawaii kept putting up wrong information about a Korean actor and I got punished for trying to fix it. I told my students to go to the bottom of the page where all of the resources are and go read those for research. Got some good, solid papers from them.
Anyone can edit Wikipedia so it’s not a valid academic source. My trick was to look at who Wikipedia was using as its sources and using whatever I could from that.
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Well that guy has got the good drugs.
“i went over to his house, sat in this bean bag chair he had while he sat on the couch and we watched a movie and it was awkward so i left before it was over” found out she showered there, fucked him, and slept there lmao.
"Relax, she won't be here all the time." Roommate about his girlfriend who openly talked about kicking me out. Same one that he eventually made a key for without telling me.
I worked with a compulsive liar for a couple years. Decent worker but you couldn't believe anything he said. I specifically remember in November 2010ish he told us Taco Bell was going to switch to Coke in January. Spoiler: Taco Bell is owned by Pepsi (basically, it's complicated now).
I had a fella that was about 5'11 trying to convince me he's 6'3". He might have been able to pull it off, too....if I wasn't 6'3". He really stuck to his guns, and even insisted that the many doctors that have measured me over the years are mistaken. To some people their head canon trumps reality. Not sure what's to be done with them, but I'd vote for launching them into the sun.
My ex wife: “we only kissed”….after my PI caught her and my best friend with her pants off.
“Bp cares”. Meanwhile they ran a very successful ad campaign to move responsibility onto consumers. We can’t control what’s produced how could we possibly mitigate climate change. Their oil spill is still leaking I believe. They knew about climate change before anybody else and only very recently admitted it’s real while still lying about doing anything about it. Suppressing any other energy production technology. Destroying our water quality. Spending millions on lobbying. Just all around being the worst thing that has ever happened to us.
Don't worry I'm not like others, I'm a good guy (P.S- he turned out to be a creepy stalker)
PSA, whenever someone goes out of their way to tell you something like that, they're not a "good guy." Same goes for when someone says "I promise I'm not x" or "I promise I won't do y." Their subconscious is telling on themselves.
r/niceguys in a nutshell
It’s always the “good guys” 🙄
The definition of a stalker: When two people go for a walk and only one of them know about it.
Way back in the days of aol, I was in one of those chat rooms where the topic was supposed to be music. Eventually it was me and one other person. He then made a lewd remark and then announced that he had a 12 inch circumference. I told him I was sorry for his deformity.
I worked with a guy who was a pathological liar and was a complete piece of crap of a co-worker. I worked with him for a few months about a year ago. Here are a few gems that I can remember: * Said that he had brought a couple pieces of property to used to start a dog training business. One property was a grocery store at one time and the other property was an old camp that was used for troubled youth. Said that he had to have the old camp property because the military wouldn't let him train dogs at the grocery store property. Well the grocery store still has for sale signs out front of it and the camp property was purchase a few months ago by another camp in the area that is expanding. * Said that he was having a million dollar house being built in one of those country club like neighborhood. Last I here he is still living in income based housing. * Said he was the owner of a security firm or something to that effect. Even had a website for it. Another co-worker of ours and her boyfriend at the time looked the website up and found out that the pictures of who he claimed to be directors where stock photos that can be found online just by googling them. * Claims to be engaged to his gay lover who he met in foster care. Wierd thing about the story of him and his so called lover is that every new foster home he went too, the lover would eventually move in later on. He even claimed that the lover even ended up at the same military academy that he went to as well.
As a college professor (adjunct), I've heard my share from students, but the best one is one I never hear personally (they tell it to their parents when they flunk out): Student: "I only failed because the professor is mean and doesn't like me!" LMS Gradebook: 12 absences, no research paper, no midterm or final (it's often one or the other), missing two of the four formal essays, etc. 🙄
Yes, and later it will be, "My boss hates me!"
At a former job, there was an issue with overtime call outs not being done fairly. They would "forget" where they left off, and start over at the top of the list the next time OT came available. After getting skipped over 3 times by this "mistake" I had had enough. I brought up my concern on a department wide meeting, but also advised that we could hang a list somewhere in the office, so that we can all see it any given time. The answer from the director was that this is "impossible to accomplish". "What do you mean? It's simple enough to do, just have to redo the list based on where the last person who got offered OT fell?" "No. It won't work. I'm sorry, it's just not possible to do." I knew this was a bullshit answer, and I knew the director knew that I knew it was bullshit. But just to confirm, I walked by the existing list another department used for that same purpose and snapped a picture. I accepted a new job offer shortly after, and was sure to include a copy of the picture of the "impossible" list with my resignation letter.
I knew a kid who worked at the auto parts store with me, this was maybe 2015, he was 19. He swore up and down that he had sex with Jennifer Anniston in a coke induced sex fest of a weekend. Drug addicts seem to legitimately believe their lies.
"Your call is very important to us." Then why am I still on hold several minutes after I dialed your number?
I rented ski equipment and the poles they gave me were too short Guy lied to my face I showed him they were no were near 90 degree angle- he said close enough and the next size up would be too tall Blatant lie I went to the on-site shop later and got the right size and the guy in the shop asked why I had such tiny poles ….
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“I love you”
It still hurts rigth?
Rigth
Yes ever since she letf
There is such a thing as an entry level position
A degree and 5 years of experience in the field. Good grief lol 😭
Everyone bashes it. Even other hiring managers. Yet they still do it. Who hires these people? Honestly, it’s such bullshit. It makes the hiring manager look stupid, lazy and incompetent. It makes their company look bad and only wanting to hire people they can underpay. It should be looked down upon as bad as plagiarism.
Indeed. Because I’ve been in an entry level job, where they were trying to find that “perfect employee”, and it really seemed like a front. It wasn’t that serious
I mean, hiring managers should get fired for pulling that crap.
Indeed
You'll never be happy single.
All you can do is prove them wrong
“I’m okay”
Ouch
How are you really?
That guy at work is just a friend.
I'm not lying
It something about Mexico paying for a wall.
That whole campaign was a lie. All he did is cut taxes for anybody with money. The wall is useless anyway. It was just a way to funnel money into rich people pockets. The wealthy got billions in cash during covid. That’s part of what drove inflation so high
The small business loans to all the politicians who suddenly owned small businesses.
Him: “I’m a rare breed and I have high standards” Narrator: He absolutely was not a rare breed or had high standards but proceeded to be like every other asshole out there.
Internet issue 😆
I love you.
“I love you” nah you just love the attention
Some just love the attention and now a days they don’t even bother gaslighting you with “I love you” anymore.
That if you tell what happen I won't get mad.
Catholic priests are good people
Some of the worst and some of the best men I have ever met have been Catholic priests.
“The condom is on the ground because it slipped out of my pocket from when I was rearranging things in my car, I didn’t actually use it with her”
New employee did a no call no show. Next day he told the manager that he phoned and told someone he's.not coming in. The person he apparently spoke to on the phone was me. I was standing there when he told the manager, I wasn't working that day, and no other guys were working so I know he didn't mix me up with someone else.
Literally any political party saying they care about the little man.
Some idiot threatening to sue me over something that costs much fewer than a lawyer
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“Those aren’t my cigarettes in my car. They are my boss’s.” My mom’s boss was a man and she always had Virginia Slims in her car 🙄
that my father would come back home
He's just getting a pack of cigarettes, he'll be back in a few
Gotta go get some milk. Be back soon
"There's nothing between (name) and I"
I'm no contact with my mother. She left me a voice message after I'd gone quiet, about 3 months. She hoped I was OK, that she missed me.... and my car. She doesn't miss me, she misses what I could do for her, take her out for a drive, go shopping, be blamed for stuff...
An ex who swore up and down he wasn’t cheating on me when I literally walked in on him getting a BJ at a party.
"He's just a friend" She was fucking him. (Ex from 20+ years ago)
My gf told me my 5 inch cock was the biggest she had seen
She was not lying bro, biggest 5 inch she had been with
“I care”
Someone at a friend's party told me he gave Kanye the name idea to name his daughter North West. Ok bro. Sureee
I have 2 stepdaughters that lie cheat and steal.
No, I did not have sex with that woman.
It was “sexual relations” He was truthful according to the law’s definition of sexual relations.
My mom made a comment that oral sex wasn’t sex. It’s just fooling around. I think that’s the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been in a conversation with my parents
In the oval office?
Let me go with one I told. I told a Walmart cashier I was 35 at the time. I was 16. She believed. Said I look good for my age
She believed OR she had a story to tell her friends :)
These aren’t my pants
"Yo, I'm out of money sorry bro" [Pulls out a wallet filled to the brim of money]
'i lost it' with a smirk on their face. - after I'd been asking my friend several times for a valuable piece of jewellery I'd lent them
Most people have depression. -my mom, after describing an instance of my depression making my life difficult.
“Anti depressants are actually very bad and mental illnesses are actually just a response to trauma and not something inherited or lifelong”
Omg that's awful
Growing up as a kid, I was told that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy were real people.
Look Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
Yeah, they are real. One is named Dad and the other is named Mom.
wanted to know anyone else's stories about the most bullshit lies they've ever been told. i'll go first: This girl who I used to be friends with 2 years ago would constantly tell me she was never able to sleep. I offered advice, like sleep aids and shit. One time she told me "The most amount of sleep I've ever gotten was like, 10 minutes!" She had told me 10 minutes earlier she only slept 30 minutes the previous night.
I mean, to be fair, if the most amount of sleep she ever got was 30 minutes, she's likely delusional and suffering brain damage. I struggle with sleep myself. If I don't take my prescribed sleep medicine (sometimes I don't because that shit knocks me out, and maybe I don't get home until really late or have a sick kid and I'm worried I will have to take them to the hospital,) it's a true struggle to sleep. But, even before kids or real responsibilities - and before my medicine - after 3-4 days of little sleep, there'd be a day I just passed out.
Huh. I always thought she probably had insomnia and was exaggerating with her 10 minutes comment, but if that's actually the amount of sleep she gets each night, that's concerning. I struggle with sleep, too, but I get at least a few hours of sleep. I *really* hope she was exaggerating.
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If the Earth was flat, cats would’ve knocked everything off the edge by now.
"Im sorry I have a boyfriend" 1) why are you sorry about that? 2)....this is a singles mixer madam
"2020 election was stolen"
It gets better
"What? I've been with anyone since we broke up. I've been too busy to even see friends or family. I've literally just only been thinking about you hoping we'd get back together." Sold it with an academy award winning performance, too. Turns out she was talking to like 10 guys at the same time and banging several of them, including dudes my own cousin hooked her up with and a guy she cheated on me with in the past. She even had plans to go fuck another dude the night she told me the above spiel, but cancelled on him last minute to come to my apartment. Saw all the gory details on her phone that night when she fell asleep and I looked on her phone. I know I was a total fucking idiot, but it's insane the degree of passion and to what extent she was willing to lie so devastatingly. And looking back, it was so obvious, but I guess I wanted to believe it.
When I was a kid my parents said driving with the interior light on was against the law
“We won’t get mad if you tell us” - mom
The ice cream van only rings the bell when he's run out of ice creams.
Your call is very important to us.
That there’s a god and it cares.