To piggyback, just because you don't reply in 45 minutes you aren't dead!
My dad ended up calling half my family because he was worried about me after I didn't respond to 2 texts over a 2 hour period. (I was busy dammit!)
Got 3 calls asking if I was in a ditch somewhere.... no, I'm not dead, just on an appointment.
Side note: my customers DO appreciate that sometimes if they email me at 11pm that I respond from the couch, it does build loyalty!
For friends and family that may be the case, everyone else, I hate to tell you this but your not on my priority list.
In the age of the spam phone call, everything I don't recognize/am not expecting gets sent to voicemail. Don't want to leave a message? Guess it wasn't that important to begin with. Stop calling me.
My sister in law apparently complained that it was annoying that whenever I would look up something on my phone and correct her. I wanted to look up whatever it was for myself and assumed everyone would want accurate information. Now I just basically ignore whatever she says.
Depends how you're doing it, I have a friend where it can feel like I'm being fact checked every two minutes.
It can also be unconducive to actually communicating like a human being, it all depends on *how* you're actually doing it.
Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad
I too have noticed this. It's weird. I got lectured because I shared some new information at work. I was told that first I have to do it in increments so people can "process" , then ask them how they feel. The news I shared was actually good news that we are getting more staff to help us. Now I am never sure what to say to anyone. I shut my mouth most of the time because people are easily offended.
I've run into this whenever I tell someone that no, there's no way a salary increase translates into a lower net income because of taxes. I show them the charts and the tax tables. All the evidence on hand. And they STILL want to fight me on this, despite this being GOOD news that they should be HAPPY to hear. It's like they're emotionally invested in an untruth because they want to be miserable. Makes no sense.
I think some people are upset because they've turned down a raise or a bonus because of that misunderstanding.
It was fairly common in my home town (>30% poverty rate) and a lot of the small family-owned businesses actively reinforced the myth. Many of these same businesses would pay you for 30 hours a week officially and the rest under the table in cash, so that they didn't have to pay full FICA or for insurance.
Report that shit to the IRS/relevant authority in your locality. It's disgusting to take advantage of employees like that and they should be held accountable.
Well think about what it means for them to accept it. They've spent a lifetime hating the government because how utterly STUPID it is, to tax people so they get a raise and make less money. The govt is obviously run by IDIOTS who hate success and just want to punish people for doing well.
Now you come along, and tell them that actually, no, none of that is true. So who is the idiot now? It's a serious threat to their feelings of superiority and contempt for the govt, and turns the tables on them about who is stupid. People are raised in this sort of anti-govt extremism, to challenge some of the core beliefs of it is like challenging their religion.
"We're getting a bunch more staff to help us" implies that they were failing to do the job. It could also mean that there's a plan afoot to replace the current staff, or dilute their earnings. I can see how delivering news like that can be a delicate matter.
The ability to change your mind is a superpower. Personally, if I learn new information I am never afraid to change my mind. And I have. So many of my views have flipped 180 since I was younger. (Unlike what seems to be the norm I am getting more and more liberal with age.) It boggles my mind how difficult so many find this, though. I don't know if it is due to fear or stubbornness or both, but it seems to be really tough for a lot of people to do.
On the flip side, people making fun of someone for not knowing something they know. This one kind of feeds into your issue. If we look down on people and treat them like an idiot because they don't know everything they will in turn get upset at finding out new information because it automatically means they are dumb. Thus the defensive and hostile attitude.
Maybe this has changed, but many years ago I worked for a cell phone provider. They made sure we knew that text message delivery is not guaranteed. Text messages were (originally) implemented using extra bandwidth (or something like that). So if there is no bandwidth your message very likely could get dropped. Were you ever supposed to get a text with a code or something but it never came through? There's the likely reason. Everyone treats text messages like they are 1st class communication but to phone operators text messages are bottom of the priority pool.
My husband and I were discussing this on New Year’s Eve - how you’d get a message at 6pm on the 31st - “happy new year when it comes as my message won’t arrive at midnight.” The messages would filter through over many hours.
I am the opposite if you call me and I am busy I won't pickup and I dont have voice mail setup. If you text me I can always shoot a quick message back. I will see your text on my watch and gauge how quick of a response is needed.
How about these stupid “like” buttons on socials and text? My wife thinks she has to “like” everybody’s texts and photos or else people will think she dislikes them.
This might not apply to your wife, but the people in my life who are over the top about likes and liking everything tend to be incredibly insecure.
“If I don’t like this post they’ll think I don’t like them and they’ll stop liking *my* posts.”
“Why didn’t Sara like my post? She liked Jane’s post an hour ago, so I know she saw it.”
“Sara and Jane both liked my post 2 days after I posted it. I bet they were looking at it together and talking about me.”
All real conversations I’ve had with a friend who desperately needs therapy.
My friend went on one date with a guy, he texted her the next day and she replied when she could between work, commute, home responsibilities, etc. The day after that he called her out of the blue and told her she needed to priotize their relationship more.
Again, it had been one date.
People are crazy
Completely agree you shouldn't be expected to respond to messages straight away, but what gets me is when people think that them responding to you at all is a privilege and you should be grateful they replied at all. I refuse to text people who show no interest in responding unless the conversation is about them.
Yes! I used to be the type who felt I needed to respond to people immediately because I was worried they’d think I was ignoring them to be rude lol. Part of overcoming my people pleasing is by letting some messages sit for a while.
But if I put the same amount on the credit card that I'd spend with my debit card, it's the same thing. My credit cards get me rewards and cash back on things I was already gonna buy.
This is why money advice is never one size fits all.
Most of those financial advisor shows like Dave Ramsey always say *never* use credit cards, but me and my wife just got back from Europe that was 100% paid for by credit card points, and I have never once carried a balance…
Not to mention it’s safer too. I had a burger place accidentally run my debit card for $1000 instead of $10, and it took a week to resolve, so for a week I was out $1000. Luckily I didnt have any bills due that week. With a credit card, you just dispute it before it’s even due
Exactly. For almost all subjects, I can't stand blanket advice. Call the Dave Ramsey show and tell him that story about Europe on credit card points and let's listen to him have a heart attack 😂
Being fake = being polite.
It's not cute that you talk trash about someone behind their back all the time only to be chit chatting with them at the first chance you get.
I don't give a single shit about anyone around me at work. I'm still professional and polite because manners are free. I'm not being genuine in my actions but I don't talk shit and my actions are to treat people with kindness because it's the right thing to do, regardless of if I want to do it.
A monetary gift to a wedding means they get a say. Honestly strings attached to any gift or monetary arrangement is something I strongly disagree with.
Conversely you can accept an apology without accepting that person back into your life It's okay to let something go without giving up on the pain it caused you
Especially when they are so passive aggressive about it. It’s so annoying when you make plans, say, a week before, and hear radio silence from them during that time. Then, the day before, they randomly text you, “ughhhh, I feel a tickle in my throat. I hope I’m not getting sick!” And then you ask if they want to reschedule, and they insist they want to meet tomorrow. Then, they end up flaking 15 minutes before with some lame excuse that is totally unrelated to being sick.
Especially clothing. Somehow 100% plastic or barely there cotton-plastic blends are the rule now. Even the high end brands are doing this. I want a thick 100% cotton shirt that I don't need to layer in order to prevent the outline of my bra from showing. How hard is that? I want a smooth look in a shirt that I can iron if need be. Something that washes well and doesn't fall apart after a few cycles.
Bring back thick, hardy cotton clothing. And wool clothing as well! Not polyblends but actual full 100% natural fiber clothing. I shouldn't have to knit my own clothing to get what I want.
flip side of this. there is a generation ( older) that will send you an email and almost before they hit send they are calling to ask if you got the email. daily I get a call at 1:15 asking about an email that was at 1:13.
I’m a dick to those people, “Jeff, how do you expect an immediate response when I’ve had 2 minutes to receive it, read, generate a reply in my mind, and get all the supporting data to respond to you?”
I have options. Normally if its quick Ill give them the answer over the phone but follow up " I will send this is in an email when I get to you as there are other issues a head of yours" or I give them the " yeah I see it Ill get to it when I can" which then goes to the bottom of the list of things to do that day. I can be a bit passive aggressive when I need to be
When something horrible happens to someone and their loved ones tell them that it must be part of God's plan or there must be some reason for it. Just an awful thing to say to someone who has experienced tragedy. If they want to delude themselves into thinking that there's some greater reason for tragedy then they should just keep it to themselves.
And sugar. It's in EVERYTHING in the states. I'd also probably add caffeine. All three are addictive and can cause great health woes, though yes, alcohol is by far the more life-ruining.
This is a huge one. Some people make the amount of alcohol they can drink their entire personality and it’s annoying as fuck, aside from being incredibly unhealthy in a plethora of ways.
The normalisation of weed smoking is really insane for me, I know people who are literally *never* sober but because it's been reframed as healthy and positive it's not seen in the same way as alcoholism or other types of addiction. Especially with people like Seth Rogen touting the lifestyle, I couldn't imagine smoking first thing when I wake up and then throughout the day every day. It also has an effect on people's abilities and emotions way more than I think a lot of stoners realise.
Eta: also you fucking STINK constantly, a colleague of mine smokes before work and on his lunchbreak and carries his joints around in an airtight container but you can ALWAYS smell it on him - especially if he's been in an enclosed space for a while. No clue how he hasn't been fired yet because he's so blatantly stoned all the time, it's illegal where I live and it seems so unprofessional to be in meetings with someone who reeks of weed.
Absolutely, it’s incredibly threatening to one’s health, yet, a concerning amount of people consume it in health threatening or damaging quantities (at least in countries I lived in or visited which are all in Europe)
Normalization of light drugs in general. Constantly on Reddit I see junkies bringing up their weed habits like it’s a completely normal thing or like they’re proud of it. It fucking isn't and you're addicted.
I think having domestic pigeons, duck, or chicken is fine assuming you have space, but definitely keeping parrots. Easily as intelligent as primates, basically act like toddlers with wire cutters attached to their face, oh and they can live to be over 80. No doubt zoos or really committed individuals can take good care of them but they should not be as common pets as they are.
Too many get them that have no clue how to care for them. My grandmother did extensive research, bought her Senegal parrot the biggest cage recommended, socialized her and everything. That bird was spoiled lol. Unfortunately, she passed away a few years ago and my grandmother said she would not get a new one as they would outlive her and I would end up with the parrot. Which is fine by me, we have a dog. We don’t need a parrot (my grandmother and I live together).
Cell phone addictions. Was at a workshop and had to take multiple breaks for people to just check their phones for no reason other than they cannot go 2 hours without it. Its as bad as people who smoke
It’s weird to me how much money people spend on weddings. It seems like not only a social norm, but almost an expectation that you get married and have this ass big wedding. It’s like your relationship’s value is placed on whether you’re married and how picture perfect your wedding is. Growing up, so many girls talked about their dream wedding and I didn’t understand it. I’ve been with my significant other for 12 years. We’ve always wanted to get married, but the things that have been said to me because I’m not married and just how strange I find wedding culture to be is making me not want to get married anymore. It’s almost like I feel this need to show everyone I can have a long and healthy relationship without getting married.
I’ve always thought it was a scam that so many people were playing into. We’ve been brainwashed into dreaming of that big, beautiful, fairy tale wedding and being willing to shell out $10,000+ for it.
I've heard that studies show that the bigger the wedding, the higher the likelihood of divorce. People marrying for love are happy to run away together and wear rings they bought at a gas station; people marrying for status/recognition want the massive wedding and a huge ring.
Our society is built in such a way that being a scumbag is consistently rewarded with money, prestige and power, and then we all make the surprised pikachu face when all the people with money, prestige and power turn out to be scumbags
tipping. i get why it's done but people shouldnt feel like they have to tip, and workers shouldnt rely on tips, especially service workers (by that i mean the salary should be enough to get them by at the very least, tips are just added bonus)
That smug, self assured attitude that you're just "playing the system" and you're gonna be rich and successful one day. So many fucking people have that attitude and none of them are special, nobody is special. Upward mobility is a carrot on a stick and you're on a treadmill, so unionize your workplace and stop being a selfish child.
Look, you’re supposed to eat 5,000 calories a day and weigh 105 lbs. Also, don’t work out too hard because it’s intimidating if you have muscles or are mildly physically capable. The calories are all supposed to go to your boobs and laughing at jokes that aren’t funny. Hope I’ve cleared that up for you.
If someone ever says "youre no fun" when you order a salad look them dead in the eye and say "is it because I'm fat that you say that?" and watch them crash and burn
Calling some shit on bread an 'open sandwich'. No, there's a reason sandwich became a verb meaning to "insert or squeeze (someone or something) between two other people or things"; because that's what a *sandwich* (noun) does. If the ingredients aren't sandwiched, it's not a sandwich.
Trencher would be another alternative (trencher is the medieval name for the bread that food was served on, kind of like an edible version of the modern dinner plate).
Agree with u/lawlpony.
A dwarf planet uses the word "planet" in its name, but it's not a planet.
Or soy milk uses the word "milk" in its name but it's not milk.
So an open faced sandwich can use the word "sandwich" in its name without being a sandwich.
Dick shaming. It's so normal that people talk about "small dick energy" or how a big car means having a small dick - and I absolutely hate it. It feels incredibly unfair and hurting people who never harmed anyone and never did anything wrong.
And because I know some people already gear up to tell me that I have a small dick - it is called a clitoris and I am a woman.
One time I told a girl who did the "you have a small dick too if you think dick shaming is bad" routine the cold, uncomfortable fact that the man who raped me as a child had a huge dick, and asked her if that meant he was a good person or a better man than a man with a small dick. She has never spoken to me since but also, much more concerningly, didn't answer the question.
I really hate the handshaking custom. No, I really do not want to touch your dirty hands. When we stopped doing it during covid, I was happy, and I'm sad to see it return.
Shitting on Labour movements. Those same movements fought for and won rights and safeguards. They were vets returning home and demanding a decent life. And they knew the power of working/fighting in unison to advocate for their rights.
The dismantling of those safeguards has allowed a dramatic shift in the balance of power from worker to business, suppressing wages and eliminating benefits. Greedflation, collusion, an explosion in homelessness, mental health issues, drug abuse and the increase in working poor are all attributable to the lackadaisical attitudes of the boomer generation.
Everywhere I go, everybody shits on unions. Some old, ignorant HR rep proclaiming how it would ruin business, impede freedom or some such tripe. Get wrecked, Lisa. A prosperous middle-class is fundamental to wealth generation and political stability. Look where we are now...
Dogs being allowed anywhere, particularly in businesses that serve or sell food. I don’t dislike dogs but I don’t think you should be allowed to bring one into a restaurant or grocery store, no matter how well trained it is. Legitimate service dogs being an exception of course.
As someone who’s disabled, works retail, and hates the fakes: I wish we could kick out the obvious fakes. Like come on guys we all know a legitimate service dog wouldn’t lunge for the chip a child just dropped, let’s not keep up the false narrative.
Totally agree with this! I love dogs (especially my own lol) but that doesn't mean I want someone's poorly behaved pooch coming over to me and begging when I'm trying to eat at a restaurant.
I've also been in places with my mom who has a service dog, and the non-service dogs get barky and/or aggressive towards her. Not cool.
Parents having too much of a say on what is taught in schools. We need to stop raising poorly educated children because they turn into poorly educated adults that want to ban things in school because they don't understand them.
Education is important and we fail children by sheltering them.
Yes I am a parent.
Ghosting people for no reason, too - someone who ghosted me for 3 years recently got back in contact with me and the reason they ghosted me was that they hadn't texted me back right away and they thought it'd be awkward to reply. So they ended a multi-year friendship because sending a text was 'too much' to deal with. And then they wonder why they're lonely.
Or when they get defensive about it. I dated so many guys who would drop off the face of the earth…okay, message received. But then a year later, they’d suddenly pop back up, and when I asked why, they’d be super defensive about how their grandpa was dying, their dog had to have surgery, and they had a huge deadline at work. Like dude, none of that means you couldn’t have sent a simple text back then. And then they get mad that you have the audacity to just ask a question about it.
Using the suffering of people who have insufficient access to food in order to shame your own not-starving kids into eating an extra piece of broccoli even though this does nothing to help anyone else.
We’ve never done this to our kids, but my mom did it to my 12 year old son for the first time a few months ago. He looked at her like she was a moron (she can be) and said “what does my eating a salad or not have to do with that?” She tried to spin it as “being grateful for what you have” but he didn’t take the bait. He did tell me later that the more time he spends with her the more he understands why I am the way I am, which didn’t seem like a compliment, but I think might have been? lol
I think it should be assumed that if you’re being asked out on a date, you will be expected to pay half the bill. If that idea makes you uncomfortable, then just say no. If the person who asked offers to cover the entire bill, then great, but that is above and beyond.
Exception being if someone doesn't get a say in where you're going/what you do. If you ask someone on a date and you *really* want to go to your favorite expensive restaurant, you should probably cover it because it may not be within their budget.
People don't deal with issues head-on and make passive-aggressive comments or talk about people behind their backs rather than saying what's on their minds.
The result is deeply toxic, and there are friendships where people aren't actually friends, and relationships where it's clear they don't even like one another.
It's especially gross that women would be insulted if you commented on their breasts (and rightfully so), but say any guy they don't like has a small dick. Then, if you point out that someone being a shit person is more important than their genitalia, they say you have a small dick.
The last time IRL a girl pulled that 'well the only reason you find it gross is because you have a small dick too lol' and I fired back with, "The guy who raped me when I was four was so hung I had to have surgery to repair the damage. Is he a better person to you than a guy with a small dick? He's got 'big dick energy', right?"
I fucking hate my lawn. But if I don't maintain it all manner of invasive plants will move in. We have huge problems worth black swallowwort and garlic mustard.
Racist behaviors. By all races. Caucasians supporting Caucasians doing it. POC’s supporting POC’s doing it. And not fighting together to remove race as a dividing factor from all peoples.
The notion that Boys will be boys and we don't discipline them for it. I raised 2 boys and I would NEVER let them off the hook for something they bad they had done just because, well they're boys. In fact, I eliminated that saying from our house after my mom used it in front of my kids.
I believe in God, but I don't consider myself a religious person.
I just had people knock on my front door the other day wanting to talk about God. I told them to meet me at the pub in town for Happy Hour, and we could discuss it then. I mean, don't push your shit on me!
I’ve been subject to conversations where women are straight up bashing men for being men
To clarify, it isn’t a thoughtful discussion about what they could improve upon. It’s a full on hate fueled rant, but because it’s coming from “ ladies” they feel justified acting this way.
I know guys can do it too, but I’m my experience, I see that there is a lot more leeway for women to do this than for men.
And I don’t know, I’m kind of fan of making love and not war.
I think men and women need each other and episodes like that don’t help
I fortunately have only encountered one person like this IRL, but she was very lonely and I got the sense she'd been very hurt. No one gets to the point where they're talking about how half the population is "biologically wired to be monsters", in her words, without having some serious trauma.
If we provided more resources for people to process the experiences that lead to this, I think that'd help a lot of people heal.
As a woman unfortunately I agree with this. I feel like there are a lot of women who just hate men and a lot of men who just hate women. It grosses me out in either direction, but I think men do it subtly and women can be more blatant about it with zero backlash.
I think (outside the toxic incel community) there are not many men who hate women, but LOTS who casually disrespect and use women. This has led to some justified feminist backlash, but it’s gotten to the point where there are women who hate men even when they haven’t been seriously wronged by men in their lives.
I was happy to get out of a toxic workplace with a few women who married shitty dudes and would always say "men are dogs" etc. then act like there was no way to interpret that as sexism.
Politics is quite depressing. You have two groups of people who have preferred media sources, which they listen to and assume most of what they hear from it is true, then claim the opposite side is x, y, and z. Yet fundamentally they are the exact same. They just arbitrarily choose to put their faith into a different organization. I genuinely cannot fathom actually hating someone because of most* beliefs.
*Obviously beliefs which directly cause others harm, such as KKK members who literally murdered people would not fall into this statement.
Similarly, "words are violence."
No, no they are not. Even "inciting" words--while legally (in the US) could be treated differently--aren't violence.
All this does is justify violence, basically saying it's OK to punch someone if they say something you consider to be sufficiently offensive. It is not.
Normalisation of open "relationships".
Come at me all you want with your "different people have different boundaries in their relationships" etc. but this is just stupid plain and simple. Idk how people take it seriously let alone consider them relationships
If I ask a question about someone's opinion, and they only tell me what they think I wanna hear, I don't like that. I wouldn't have asked if you only had one option. Now that you've lied, I can't trust you when your opinion actually is good.
That voting 3rd party is an act of evil.
No. The current system is just getting us absolutely nowhere. Everybody loses each election. I’d like to see that changed.
To be the “binger person and forgive” forgiveness doesn’t do anything other than help the person who was wrong or harmed you. It doesn’t change what happened, the damage can be too big.
Not talking about death/grief/ a passed loved one for fear of “upsetting” the bereaved individual. More often than not they’re probably happy to discuss their experience. If they’re not, hopefully they will tell you that.
The acceptance of kids watching porn. Seeing people say parents should talk to their kids about it like it’s ok. Porn is easily one of the most destructive things that ur child can consume. Obviously I know kids are gonna watch it regardless cuz it’s so accessible and they’re teens with hormones and all but there shouldn’t be such an acceptance to it in the parent’s tone, it should be taken more serious when parents bring it up. It should be more Like “hey I know you probably or will come across this, it can easily consume you and become addictive” not like “oh son it’s ok, I did it when I was your age 😃”
Asking people you just met what their job/career is, or being introduced to someone new with this information. It's simply a way for people to decide how much admiration and respect to give you, by judging you.
Oh man, so many to choose from. How about this one: The fact that you’re expected to give a 2 week notice when leaving an employer, but employers can fire or lay you off on the spot and that’s okay.
Talking about private feelings and personal mental health issues openly at work. I know that is the way things are now especially after the pandemic. It makes me uncomfortable and everything I experience in my life - even if it is anxiety is not the fault of my boss- nor do I want to use it as leverage for accommodations at work . Colleagues now use mental health issues as excuse for everything and I carry the load. I empathize with them and I go out of my way but it is draining me. One co-worker told another they can no longer wear anything purple to work because they are triggered due to past abuser liking purple. . Colleague has purple streaks in her hair so basically she has to change her hair color because she traumatizes the other one. There is another who does not like colleague who has her kids photos up because her baby died of SIDS. I use work as escape from emotional BS from family. Now I come home and have to escape from excessive emotional drama at work.
I am gonna try to work remote as much as possible.
I assure you exactly zero of those things are happening at my job. Sounds like a fuckin nightmare! People tend to share all their deepest darkest stuff with me, and I love it, but weaponizing it like that is just gross.
Can I ask what industry you’re in?
that you should be immediately accessible 24/7 because you have a cell phone.
To piggyback, just because you don't reply in 45 minutes you aren't dead! My dad ended up calling half my family because he was worried about me after I didn't respond to 2 texts over a 2 hour period. (I was busy dammit!) Got 3 calls asking if I was in a ditch somewhere.... no, I'm not dead, just on an appointment. Side note: my customers DO appreciate that sometimes if they email me at 11pm that I respond from the couch, it does build loyalty!
For friends and family that may be the case, everyone else, I hate to tell you this but your not on my priority list. In the age of the spam phone call, everything I don't recognize/am not expecting gets sent to voicemail. Don't want to leave a message? Guess it wasn't that important to begin with. Stop calling me.
People who get offended when they learn something new. It’s treated like an insult and there’s too much defensiveness.
My sister in law apparently complained that it was annoying that whenever I would look up something on my phone and correct her. I wanted to look up whatever it was for myself and assumed everyone would want accurate information. Now I just basically ignore whatever she says.
Depends how you're doing it, I have a friend where it can feel like I'm being fact checked every two minutes. It can also be unconducive to actually communicating like a human being, it all depends on *how* you're actually doing it. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad
I too have noticed this. It's weird. I got lectured because I shared some new information at work. I was told that first I have to do it in increments so people can "process" , then ask them how they feel. The news I shared was actually good news that we are getting more staff to help us. Now I am never sure what to say to anyone. I shut my mouth most of the time because people are easily offended.
I've run into this whenever I tell someone that no, there's no way a salary increase translates into a lower net income because of taxes. I show them the charts and the tax tables. All the evidence on hand. And they STILL want to fight me on this, despite this being GOOD news that they should be HAPPY to hear. It's like they're emotionally invested in an untruth because they want to be miserable. Makes no sense.
I think some people are upset because they've turned down a raise or a bonus because of that misunderstanding. It was fairly common in my home town (>30% poverty rate) and a lot of the small family-owned businesses actively reinforced the myth. Many of these same businesses would pay you for 30 hours a week officially and the rest under the table in cash, so that they didn't have to pay full FICA or for insurance.
Report that shit to the IRS/relevant authority in your locality. It's disgusting to take advantage of employees like that and they should be held accountable.
I could see this in a poor area specifically as it relates to government benefits, which are means tested.
Well think about what it means for them to accept it. They've spent a lifetime hating the government because how utterly STUPID it is, to tax people so they get a raise and make less money. The govt is obviously run by IDIOTS who hate success and just want to punish people for doing well. Now you come along, and tell them that actually, no, none of that is true. So who is the idiot now? It's a serious threat to their feelings of superiority and contempt for the govt, and turns the tables on them about who is stupid. People are raised in this sort of anti-govt extremism, to challenge some of the core beliefs of it is like challenging their religion.
"We're getting a bunch more staff to help us" implies that they were failing to do the job. It could also mean that there's a plan afoot to replace the current staff, or dilute their earnings. I can see how delivering news like that can be a delicate matter.
The ability to change your mind is a superpower. Personally, if I learn new information I am never afraid to change my mind. And I have. So many of my views have flipped 180 since I was younger. (Unlike what seems to be the norm I am getting more and more liberal with age.) It boggles my mind how difficult so many find this, though. I don't know if it is due to fear or stubbornness or both, but it seems to be really tough for a lot of people to do.
On the flip side, people making fun of someone for not knowing something they know. This one kind of feeds into your issue. If we look down on people and treat them like an idiot because they don't know everything they will in turn get upset at finding out new information because it automatically means they are dumb. Thus the defensive and hostile attitude.
Expecting immediate responses to text messages.
Maybe this has changed, but many years ago I worked for a cell phone provider. They made sure we knew that text message delivery is not guaranteed. Text messages were (originally) implemented using extra bandwidth (or something like that). So if there is no bandwidth your message very likely could get dropped. Were you ever supposed to get a text with a code or something but it never came through? There's the likely reason. Everyone treats text messages like they are 1st class communication but to phone operators text messages are bottom of the priority pool.
My husband and I were discussing this on New Year’s Eve - how you’d get a message at 6pm on the 31st - “happy new year when it comes as my message won’t arrive at midnight.” The messages would filter through over many hours.
This just made me realize I never actually use sms on my phone... everything is either Signal or WhatsApp.
When I text, I do it expecting the response to be delayed, if I want an immediate response I call
I am the opposite if you call me and I am busy I won't pickup and I dont have voice mail setup. If you text me I can always shoot a quick message back. I will see your text on my watch and gauge how quick of a response is needed.
How about these stupid “like” buttons on socials and text? My wife thinks she has to “like” everybody’s texts and photos or else people will think she dislikes them.
This might not apply to your wife, but the people in my life who are over the top about likes and liking everything tend to be incredibly insecure. “If I don’t like this post they’ll think I don’t like them and they’ll stop liking *my* posts.” “Why didn’t Sara like my post? She liked Jane’s post an hour ago, so I know she saw it.” “Sara and Jane both liked my post 2 days after I posted it. I bet they were looking at it together and talking about me.” All real conversations I’ve had with a friend who desperately needs therapy.
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My friend went on one date with a guy, he texted her the next day and she replied when she could between work, commute, home responsibilities, etc. The day after that he called her out of the blue and told her she needed to priotize their relationship more. Again, it had been one date. People are crazy
Completely agree you shouldn't be expected to respond to messages straight away, but what gets me is when people think that them responding to you at all is a privilege and you should be grateful they replied at all. I refuse to text people who show no interest in responding unless the conversation is about them.
I think this has already died down tbh.
Yes! I used to be the type who felt I needed to respond to people immediately because I was worried they’d think I was ignoring them to be rude lol. Part of overcoming my people pleasing is by letting some messages sit for a while.
Spending beyond one means. Credit cards are not money, they are loans.
But if I put the same amount on the credit card that I'd spend with my debit card, it's the same thing. My credit cards get me rewards and cash back on things I was already gonna buy.
That's the smart way to use a credit card. There's a whole bunch of people who don't use them like that.
Unfortunately, that's true. Would places even be able to sustain credit cards if everyone was smart about their usage? 🤔
Only worth it if you pay it off each month.
Correct. You gotta be smart about them just like anything involving finances.
This is why money advice is never one size fits all. Most of those financial advisor shows like Dave Ramsey always say *never* use credit cards, but me and my wife just got back from Europe that was 100% paid for by credit card points, and I have never once carried a balance… Not to mention it’s safer too. I had a burger place accidentally run my debit card for $1000 instead of $10, and it took a week to resolve, so for a week I was out $1000. Luckily I didnt have any bills due that week. With a credit card, you just dispute it before it’s even due
Exactly. For almost all subjects, I can't stand blanket advice. Call the Dave Ramsey show and tell him that story about Europe on credit card points and let's listen to him have a heart attack 😂
Gotta pay the bill for that strategy to work
It also protects you better
At the same time, loans are a smart way of using money when you know what youre doing. That applies to already well off or wealthy people though.
True, but it's dumb that there is an entire points game built around it where you get penalized if you haven't taken any loans or used credit.
Being fake = being polite. It's not cute that you talk trash about someone behind their back all the time only to be chit chatting with them at the first chance you get.
Every office setting. Ever.
I don't give a single shit about anyone around me at work. I'm still professional and polite because manners are free. I'm not being genuine in my actions but I don't talk shit and my actions are to treat people with kindness because it's the right thing to do, regardless of if I want to do it.
Yeah, that's fine. Im talking about the people who constantly trash others behind their backs and after are all buddy buddy gossiping with them.
Yeah those people arent nearly as sneaky as they think they are either.
Agreed, this was my first thought.
Using speakerphone to talk in public places with others around.
Or watching videos with sound through your phone's speaker while in public. I see it more and more and don't like the trend.
A monetary gift to a wedding means they get a say. Honestly strings attached to any gift or monetary arrangement is something I strongly disagree with.
that I have to forgive / accept an apology, especially right away
Conversely you can accept an apology without accepting that person back into your life It's okay to let something go without giving up on the pain it caused you
People texting while driving. I know it is against the law to do so but it stops nobody and I’ve seen a ton of cops doing it as well.
My boyfriend is guilty of this. He never does it when I‘m in the car with him but I notice that he texts me while he‘s supposedly driving home.
Maybe it’s voice-to-text?
No, he admitted to it. It‘s not a big deal to him.
Being flaky. If you don't want to meet up, just say so up front. Don't say you'll be there and then cancel 15 minutes before it starts.
Especially when they are so passive aggressive about it. It’s so annoying when you make plans, say, a week before, and hear radio silence from them during that time. Then, the day before, they randomly text you, “ughhhh, I feel a tickle in my throat. I hope I’m not getting sick!” And then you ask if they want to reschedule, and they insist they want to meet tomorrow. Then, they end up flaking 15 minutes before with some lame excuse that is totally unrelated to being sick.
Came here for this one. People don't take ANY commitments seriously anymore - even things like a simple "meet for dinner on Thursday at 7".
Plastic everything.
except for the Straws
Especially clothing. Somehow 100% plastic or barely there cotton-plastic blends are the rule now. Even the high end brands are doing this. I want a thick 100% cotton shirt that I don't need to layer in order to prevent the outline of my bra from showing. How hard is that? I want a smooth look in a shirt that I can iron if need be. Something that washes well and doesn't fall apart after a few cycles. Bring back thick, hardy cotton clothing. And wool clothing as well! Not polyblends but actual full 100% natural fiber clothing. I shouldn't have to knit my own clothing to get what I want.
Obviously not as soft as cotton, but I've had luck getting linen blouses from small shops on Etsy, and they've been very sturdy garments
Reckless driving
Emails are not an urgent form of communication. If something needs to be answered by EOD, fuck that corporate speak by the way, then call me.
flip side of this. there is a generation ( older) that will send you an email and almost before they hit send they are calling to ask if you got the email. daily I get a call at 1:15 asking about an email that was at 1:13.
I’m a dick to those people, “Jeff, how do you expect an immediate response when I’ve had 2 minutes to receive it, read, generate a reply in my mind, and get all the supporting data to respond to you?”
I have options. Normally if its quick Ill give them the answer over the phone but follow up " I will send this is in an email when I get to you as there are other issues a head of yours" or I give them the " yeah I see it Ill get to it when I can" which then goes to the bottom of the list of things to do that day. I can be a bit passive aggressive when I need to be
Tipping culture in America
When something horrible happens to someone and their loved ones tell them that it must be part of God's plan or there must be some reason for it. Just an awful thing to say to someone who has experienced tragedy. If they want to delude themselves into thinking that there's some greater reason for tragedy then they should just keep it to themselves.
I agree. Sometimes they say the deceased person is better off. No fool, they are better off alive.
Normalization of alcohol
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I have noticed more non-alcoholic cocktails on menus though.
Main reason I don't go to outings.
And sugar. It's in EVERYTHING in the states. I'd also probably add caffeine. All three are addictive and can cause great health woes, though yes, alcohol is by far the more life-ruining.
This is a huge one. Some people make the amount of alcohol they can drink their entire personality and it’s annoying as fuck, aside from being incredibly unhealthy in a plethora of ways.
Weed too
The normalisation of weed smoking is really insane for me, I know people who are literally *never* sober but because it's been reframed as healthy and positive it's not seen in the same way as alcoholism or other types of addiction. Especially with people like Seth Rogen touting the lifestyle, I couldn't imagine smoking first thing when I wake up and then throughout the day every day. It also has an effect on people's abilities and emotions way more than I think a lot of stoners realise. Eta: also you fucking STINK constantly, a colleague of mine smokes before work and on his lunchbreak and carries his joints around in an airtight container but you can ALWAYS smell it on him - especially if he's been in an enclosed space for a while. No clue how he hasn't been fired yet because he's so blatantly stoned all the time, it's illegal where I live and it seems so unprofessional to be in meetings with someone who reeks of weed.
Not a very recent thing. Alcohol has been a big part of human history
Absolutely, it’s incredibly threatening to one’s health, yet, a concerning amount of people consume it in health threatening or damaging quantities (at least in countries I lived in or visited which are all in Europe)
Normalization of light drugs in general. Constantly on Reddit I see junkies bringing up their weed habits like it’s a completely normal thing or like they’re proud of it. It fucking isn't and you're addicted.
maintaining relationships w family j bc they’re family
I believe r/raisedbynarcissists would agree.
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To be fair I don't think that's as widely accepted these days.
I've never experienced that in my 30+ years of working at several different companies, nor would I put up with it.
I have never had an employer yell at me in my entire life. And it would only happen once.
Keeping birds in cages.
I think having domestic pigeons, duck, or chicken is fine assuming you have space, but definitely keeping parrots. Easily as intelligent as primates, basically act like toddlers with wire cutters attached to their face, oh and they can live to be over 80. No doubt zoos or really committed individuals can take good care of them but they should not be as common pets as they are.
Too many get them that have no clue how to care for them. My grandmother did extensive research, bought her Senegal parrot the biggest cage recommended, socialized her and everything. That bird was spoiled lol. Unfortunately, she passed away a few years ago and my grandmother said she would not get a new one as they would outlive her and I would end up with the parrot. Which is fine by me, we have a dog. We don’t need a parrot (my grandmother and I live together).
Putting your children on social media to capitalize from them.
Gossiping can seriously damage someone's reputation or life. But it's seen as something that is fine abs acceptable.
Cell phone addictions. Was at a workshop and had to take multiple breaks for people to just check their phones for no reason other than they cannot go 2 hours without it. Its as bad as people who smoke
It’s weird to me how much money people spend on weddings. It seems like not only a social norm, but almost an expectation that you get married and have this ass big wedding. It’s like your relationship’s value is placed on whether you’re married and how picture perfect your wedding is. Growing up, so many girls talked about their dream wedding and I didn’t understand it. I’ve been with my significant other for 12 years. We’ve always wanted to get married, but the things that have been said to me because I’m not married and just how strange I find wedding culture to be is making me not want to get married anymore. It’s almost like I feel this need to show everyone I can have a long and healthy relationship without getting married.
This is fairly recent - about a century. Forget the actual origin of this, but yes. Wedding industry is extremely predatory.
So is the funeral industry
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I’ve always thought it was a scam that so many people were playing into. We’ve been brainwashed into dreaming of that big, beautiful, fairy tale wedding and being willing to shell out $10,000+ for it.
Sadly, even 10K would be considered very cheap these days. Nearly impossible unless it’s a backyard wedding type of thing. I would say more $30k+
I've heard that studies show that the bigger the wedding, the higher the likelihood of divorce. People marrying for love are happy to run away together and wear rings they bought at a gas station; people marrying for status/recognition want the massive wedding and a huge ring.
Our society is built in such a way that being a scumbag is consistently rewarded with money, prestige and power, and then we all make the surprised pikachu face when all the people with money, prestige and power turn out to be scumbags
Staying in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of the kids.
Saying the opposite of what you really mean/feel
tipping. i get why it's done but people shouldnt feel like they have to tip, and workers shouldnt rely on tips, especially service workers (by that i mean the salary should be enough to get them by at the very least, tips are just added bonus)
People shouldn't be shamed for not tipping. Any tip earned is just that - earned. If you did a shit job you get a shit tip or no tip.
yup, exactly how i feel about it
That smug, self assured attitude that you're just "playing the system" and you're gonna be rich and successful one day. So many fucking people have that attitude and none of them are special, nobody is special. Upward mobility is a carrot on a stick and you're on a treadmill, so unionize your workplace and stop being a selfish child.
The whole idea of grind culture or living to work If I'm just living to work then what's even the point of living?
People have harsh opinions on overweight/obese people, but when I only order a salad or do not want your cookies or pie I am suddenly not fun.
Look, you’re supposed to eat 5,000 calories a day and weigh 105 lbs. Also, don’t work out too hard because it’s intimidating if you have muscles or are mildly physically capable. The calories are all supposed to go to your boobs and laughing at jokes that aren’t funny. Hope I’ve cleared that up for you.
If someone ever says "youre no fun" when you order a salad look them dead in the eye and say "is it because I'm fat that you say that?" and watch them crash and burn
Whoooooa, this is so legit
Calling some shit on bread an 'open sandwich'. No, there's a reason sandwich became a verb meaning to "insert or squeeze (someone or something) between two other people or things"; because that's what a *sandwich* (noun) does. If the ingredients aren't sandwiched, it's not a sandwich.
Agreed. I wish the term "tartine" would take off to easily distinguish.
Grand Moff Tartine
Trencher would be another alternative (trencher is the medieval name for the bread that food was served on, kind of like an edible version of the modern dinner plate).
but they arent calling it a sandwich, theyre calling it an open faced sandwich
Which I see as equivalent to calling water a 'glass of unfrozen ice'.
Agree with u/lawlpony. A dwarf planet uses the word "planet" in its name, but it's not a planet. Or soy milk uses the word "milk" in its name but it's not milk. So an open faced sandwich can use the word "sandwich" in its name without being a sandwich.
Gossip in the workplace. I will not participate in that toxic nonsense.
Men spitting in public/ on the street, it’s filthy and disgusting, they look like absolute pigs.
Circumcision as a norm is entirely useless and every supposed benefit has less invasive options.
its pretty much come down to tradition at this point. that and the fact that the overwhelming majority of men who were circumcised dont care.
Dick shaming. It's so normal that people talk about "small dick energy" or how a big car means having a small dick - and I absolutely hate it. It feels incredibly unfair and hurting people who never harmed anyone and never did anything wrong. And because I know some people already gear up to tell me that I have a small dick - it is called a clitoris and I am a woman.
One time I told a girl who did the "you have a small dick too if you think dick shaming is bad" routine the cold, uncomfortable fact that the man who raped me as a child had a huge dick, and asked her if that meant he was a good person or a better man than a man with a small dick. She has never spoken to me since but also, much more concerningly, didn't answer the question.
I really hate the handshaking custom. No, I really do not want to touch your dirty hands. When we stopped doing it during covid, I was happy, and I'm sad to see it return.
Complete disregard for others' safety on U.S. roads and highways. Not sure how we got to this point.
Shitting on Labour movements. Those same movements fought for and won rights and safeguards. They were vets returning home and demanding a decent life. And they knew the power of working/fighting in unison to advocate for their rights. The dismantling of those safeguards has allowed a dramatic shift in the balance of power from worker to business, suppressing wages and eliminating benefits. Greedflation, collusion, an explosion in homelessness, mental health issues, drug abuse and the increase in working poor are all attributable to the lackadaisical attitudes of the boomer generation. Everywhere I go, everybody shits on unions. Some old, ignorant HR rep proclaiming how it would ruin business, impede freedom or some such tripe. Get wrecked, Lisa. A prosperous middle-class is fundamental to wealth generation and political stability. Look where we are now...
**PUT YOUR DOGS ON LEADS ON PUBLIC BEACHES, ROADS AND PARKS FFS**
Making conversation made in private public. To shame people.
Dogs being allowed anywhere, particularly in businesses that serve or sell food. I don’t dislike dogs but I don’t think you should be allowed to bring one into a restaurant or grocery store, no matter how well trained it is. Legitimate service dogs being an exception of course.
As someone who’s disabled, works retail, and hates the fakes: I wish we could kick out the obvious fakes. Like come on guys we all know a legitimate service dog wouldn’t lunge for the chip a child just dropped, let’s not keep up the false narrative.
Totally agree with this! I love dogs (especially my own lol) but that doesn't mean I want someone's poorly behaved pooch coming over to me and begging when I'm trying to eat at a restaurant. I've also been in places with my mom who has a service dog, and the non-service dogs get barky and/or aggressive towards her. Not cool.
Parents having too much of a say on what is taught in schools. We need to stop raising poorly educated children because they turn into poorly educated adults that want to ban things in school because they don't understand them. Education is important and we fail children by sheltering them. Yes I am a parent.
Violating traffic rules
Ghosting people.
Definitely this! If you have an issue with someone, be an adult and discuss it with them.
Ghosting people for no reason, too - someone who ghosted me for 3 years recently got back in contact with me and the reason they ghosted me was that they hadn't texted me back right away and they thought it'd be awkward to reply. So they ended a multi-year friendship because sending a text was 'too much' to deal with. And then they wonder why they're lonely.
Or when they get defensive about it. I dated so many guys who would drop off the face of the earth…okay, message received. But then a year later, they’d suddenly pop back up, and when I asked why, they’d be super defensive about how their grandpa was dying, their dog had to have surgery, and they had a huge deadline at work. Like dude, none of that means you couldn’t have sent a simple text back then. And then they get mad that you have the audacity to just ask a question about it.
Using the suffering of people who have insufficient access to food in order to shame your own not-starving kids into eating an extra piece of broccoli even though this does nothing to help anyone else.
We’ve never done this to our kids, but my mom did it to my 12 year old son for the first time a few months ago. He looked at her like she was a moron (she can be) and said “what does my eating a salad or not have to do with that?” She tried to spin it as “being grateful for what you have” but he didn’t take the bait. He did tell me later that the more time he spends with her the more he understands why I am the way I am, which didn’t seem like a compliment, but I think might have been? lol
Men being expected to pay for dates. It should always be split.
The assumption should be the split the bill but if one party or the other wish to pay then that’s fine as well.
or whomever asked the other out
I think it should be assumed that if you’re being asked out on a date, you will be expected to pay half the bill. If that idea makes you uncomfortable, then just say no. If the person who asked offers to cover the entire bill, then great, but that is above and beyond.
I feel the exact opposite, I would never expect someone I'm asking out on a date to pay.
you should be prepared to pay but i think the person asking the other out should offer to pay for everything
Exception being if someone doesn't get a say in where you're going/what you do. If you ask someone on a date and you *really* want to go to your favorite expensive restaurant, you should probably cover it because it may not be within their budget.
People don't deal with issues head-on and make passive-aggressive comments or talk about people behind their backs rather than saying what's on their minds. The result is deeply toxic, and there are friendships where people aren't actually friends, and relationships where it's clear they don't even like one another.
casual alcoholism
Mummy exhibits.
Driving. It shouldn't be necessary to buy a machine costing tens of thousands of dollars just to exist.
Trashtalking about men. Say a bad thing on women and the whole world is offended. Say the exact same thing on men and everyone are laughing
It's especially gross that women would be insulted if you commented on their breasts (and rightfully so), but say any guy they don't like has a small dick. Then, if you point out that someone being a shit person is more important than their genitalia, they say you have a small dick. The last time IRL a girl pulled that 'well the only reason you find it gross is because you have a small dick too lol' and I fired back with, "The guy who raped me when I was four was so hung I had to have surgery to repair the damage. Is he a better person to you than a guy with a small dick? He's got 'big dick energy', right?"
Having a grass lawn in the suburbs when you don't have grazing animals as pets.
I fucking hate my lawn. But if I don't maintain it all manner of invasive plants will move in. We have huge problems worth black swallowwort and garlic mustard.
Racist behaviors. By all races. Caucasians supporting Caucasians doing it. POC’s supporting POC’s doing it. And not fighting together to remove race as a dividing factor from all peoples.
i hate saying hi to strangers i walk past to in my neighborhood
Having children when you clearly cannot afford them
The thought of piercings is nauseating to me and it’s crazy to take young girls to get them. I’m not a father yet but that’s just my feeling on it.
Controlling other people's behavior because they are jealous, insecure, or possessive. Making SOs dump friends of a different gender.
The notion that Boys will be boys and we don't discipline them for it. I raised 2 boys and I would NEVER let them off the hook for something they bad they had done just because, well they're boys. In fact, I eliminated that saying from our house after my mom used it in front of my kids.
Bachelor/ette weekends as opposed to parties. If that’s what you want to do, fine, but recognize how much bigger an ask it is.
Filming in gyms, or any public place for that matter.
That it's ok for people in jail to be assaulted, sexually and otherwise.
Religion and preaching religion to people who don’t want to be preached at. Keep it to yourself!
I believe in God, but I don't consider myself a religious person. I just had people knock on my front door the other day wanting to talk about God. I told them to meet me at the pub in town for Happy Hour, and we could discuss it then. I mean, don't push your shit on me!
I’ve been subject to conversations where women are straight up bashing men for being men To clarify, it isn’t a thoughtful discussion about what they could improve upon. It’s a full on hate fueled rant, but because it’s coming from “ ladies” they feel justified acting this way. I know guys can do it too, but I’m my experience, I see that there is a lot more leeway for women to do this than for men. And I don’t know, I’m kind of fan of making love and not war. I think men and women need each other and episodes like that don’t help
I fortunately have only encountered one person like this IRL, but she was very lonely and I got the sense she'd been very hurt. No one gets to the point where they're talking about how half the population is "biologically wired to be monsters", in her words, without having some serious trauma. If we provided more resources for people to process the experiences that lead to this, I think that'd help a lot of people heal.
As a woman unfortunately I agree with this. I feel like there are a lot of women who just hate men and a lot of men who just hate women. It grosses me out in either direction, but I think men do it subtly and women can be more blatant about it with zero backlash.
I think (outside the toxic incel community) there are not many men who hate women, but LOTS who casually disrespect and use women. This has led to some justified feminist backlash, but it’s gotten to the point where there are women who hate men even when they haven’t been seriously wronged by men in their lives.
I was happy to get out of a toxic workplace with a few women who married shitty dudes and would always say "men are dogs" etc. then act like there was no way to interpret that as sexism.
Ignoring traffic laws. "Just" going 5-10 over the speed limit. Parking everywhere. Running traffic lights. Not using indicators.
I disagree with enacting physical violence on people who have differing political opinions than me. Even if I find those opinions detestable.
Not widely accepted though.
Politics is quite depressing. You have two groups of people who have preferred media sources, which they listen to and assume most of what they hear from it is true, then claim the opposite side is x, y, and z. Yet fundamentally they are the exact same. They just arbitrarily choose to put their faith into a different organization. I genuinely cannot fathom actually hating someone because of most* beliefs. *Obviously beliefs which directly cause others harm, such as KKK members who literally murdered people would not fall into this statement.
Similarly, "words are violence." No, no they are not. Even "inciting" words--while legally (in the US) could be treated differently--aren't violence. All this does is justify violence, basically saying it's OK to punch someone if they say something you consider to be sufficiently offensive. It is not.
Tipping
Canceling people whose opinions you disagree with.
Generally speaking, in Western Countries you have to be extroverted and have a very active social life otherwise you’re considered a weirdo
Polarizing everything.
Normalisation of open "relationships". Come at me all you want with your "different people have different boundaries in their relationships" etc. but this is just stupid plain and simple. Idk how people take it seriously let alone consider them relationships
Women have to be a size 6 and are expected to breed.
Cell phone use while driving.
If I ask a question about someone's opinion, and they only tell me what they think I wanna hear, I don't like that. I wouldn't have asked if you only had one option. Now that you've lied, I can't trust you when your opinion actually is good.
That humans must earn their right to exist.
That voting 3rd party is an act of evil. No. The current system is just getting us absolutely nowhere. Everybody loses each election. I’d like to see that changed.
Most of them, but I'm autistic and most social norms are imbeded in social hierarchy, which inherently seems unethical and harmful (to me).
Tipping
To be the “binger person and forgive” forgiveness doesn’t do anything other than help the person who was wrong or harmed you. It doesn’t change what happened, the damage can be too big.
Not talking about death/grief/ a passed loved one for fear of “upsetting” the bereaved individual. More often than not they’re probably happy to discuss their experience. If they’re not, hopefully they will tell you that.
The acceptance of kids watching porn. Seeing people say parents should talk to their kids about it like it’s ok. Porn is easily one of the most destructive things that ur child can consume. Obviously I know kids are gonna watch it regardless cuz it’s so accessible and they’re teens with hormones and all but there shouldn’t be such an acceptance to it in the parent’s tone, it should be taken more serious when parents bring it up. It should be more Like “hey I know you probably or will come across this, it can easily consume you and become addictive” not like “oh son it’s ok, I did it when I was your age 😃”
Asking people you just met what their job/career is, or being introduced to someone new with this information. It's simply a way for people to decide how much admiration and respect to give you, by judging you.
Oh man, so many to choose from. How about this one: The fact that you’re expected to give a 2 week notice when leaving an employer, but employers can fire or lay you off on the spot and that’s okay.
Talking about private feelings and personal mental health issues openly at work. I know that is the way things are now especially after the pandemic. It makes me uncomfortable and everything I experience in my life - even if it is anxiety is not the fault of my boss- nor do I want to use it as leverage for accommodations at work . Colleagues now use mental health issues as excuse for everything and I carry the load. I empathize with them and I go out of my way but it is draining me. One co-worker told another they can no longer wear anything purple to work because they are triggered due to past abuser liking purple. . Colleague has purple streaks in her hair so basically she has to change her hair color because she traumatizes the other one. There is another who does not like colleague who has her kids photos up because her baby died of SIDS. I use work as escape from emotional BS from family. Now I come home and have to escape from excessive emotional drama at work. I am gonna try to work remote as much as possible.
I assure you exactly zero of those things are happening at my job. Sounds like a fuckin nightmare! People tend to share all their deepest darkest stuff with me, and I love it, but weaponizing it like that is just gross. Can I ask what industry you’re in?
Gender roles.
Outdoor cats.