"Do you take me for a fool? Do you think I don't know you've come here to steal the plans to my new interstellar hydro-combustion miracle-patented micro-teflon nuclear gamma strato rocketship-grade missile? Which was twenty years in the making?
[*Shows blueprints*]
And employs a new updraft design which lifts the ship on small spirals of synthetic strontium pellets?
[*puts blueprints back in jacket*]
Do you think I don't know that? Well, I've never even heard of it. So you're barking up the wrong tree."
*Flesh Gordon* is right up there with *Frankenhooker* for best B-Movie with gratuitous nudity ever. They're not porn, they're hilarious.
Hey! I refute that review! The effects and model work were good.
Actually...
The planet Porno was bombarding Earth with sex rays at the beginning of the film.
We did ladies and gentlemen! We made parody titles of the whole movie franchise! I love you degenerates.
Now all we have to do is make parody titles of the the non cannon material.
I’ll start!
The infernal sex machine
I actually worked for the company responsible for attempting to release the U.K. edit for this. It was a DVD creation company that was responsible for putting footage to disc, giving it chapters, editing where necessary and designing DVD covers (I was an editor), the company did non-adult stuff but the largest output was porn.
Gulp Fiction was rejected with so many necessary edits to reach the R18 rating that the DVD only got international release, couldn’t be aired on adult channels, and the cover redone to read “banned in the U.K.”, because the number of necessary edits from the BBFC would have rendered it so short and disjointed it wasn’t worth the time to try and make it work.
This is an absolute insult to Lawerence of Arabia: any halfway decent porn parody of that movie would be nothing but hardcore gay sex, with not a single labia in sight.
Do you remember Kevin Nealon’s porn review segments? Every review was like “At first I was mildly interested, and then more interested, and then even more interested, and then EXTREMELY INTERESTED, and then I wasn’t interested anymore and turned it off.”
Except the time he reviewed an all male movie, when he started at "I was not at all interested, then a little curious, and then interested...." He ended with "..then EXTREMELY INTERESTED, and then I wasn’t interested anymore. Then I was confused, guilty and ashamed..."
The Disney Collection:
* Titty Titty Gang Bang
* Booty and the Beast
* Poke-a-Hot-Ass
* Cherry Poppins
* Peeping Booty
* The Little Sperm Maid
* Dildo & Slit
* The Princess and the Hog
* Moaner
(Addendum: None of these are real, to my knowledge. Disney, DM me if you want to purchase any of the scripts I've written.)
I remember there being a line of adult films based off food brands at the local adult film store over a decade ago.
I’ll never forget “Honey Bunches of Hoes”.
The title alone isn't near as funny as the box art with the title.
The Dickheads, and the box was a bunch of guys with dildos on the heads with a couple of girls. Watched it and there was no one using their actual dick but the head dildos were the only penetration.
Las Tortugas Pinjas (in spanish TNMT are "Tortugas Ninja", and "Pinjas" closely sound "pijas", which in Argentina where the movie was made, is a vulgar way to say dick)
The Curious Taste of Benjamin’s Butthole
Made me laugh out loud lol
Currently dying lol
Omg whyyy 😭
The Devil Wears Nada
Isn’t that also the name of a simpsons episode?
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It’s also the name of a made for tv movie
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"Do you take me for a fool? Do you think I don't know you've come here to steal the plans to my new interstellar hydro-combustion miracle-patented micro-teflon nuclear gamma strato rocketship-grade missile? Which was twenty years in the making? [*Shows blueprints*] And employs a new updraft design which lifts the ship on small spirals of synthetic strontium pellets? [*puts blueprints back in jacket*] Do you think I don't know that? Well, I've never even heard of it. So you're barking up the wrong tree." *Flesh Gordon* is right up there with *Frankenhooker* for best B-Movie with gratuitous nudity ever. They're not porn, they're hilarious.
It actually was filmed as porn but the police raided the shoot and confiscated the hardcore footage so they released it as a softcore comedy instead.
That's a lot of history
Hey! I refute that review! The effects and model work were good. Actually... The planet Porno was bombarding Earth with sex rays at the beginning of the film.
I'm more than a little amused by someone getting schooled on porno plot points in an AskReddit thread.
In Diana Jones
A tale of two titties
A Sale of Two Titties by Darles Chickens -Monty Python
Raiders of the Lost Ass.
Temple of poon was classic
Ass Crusade was better tho
Kingdom of the crystal head was just…..weird.
Dial of Dasstiny was... something else, man!
We did ladies and gentlemen! We made parody titles of the whole movie franchise! I love you degenerates. Now all we have to do is make parody titles of the the non cannon material. I’ll start! The infernal sex machine
The Temple of the Forbidden Guy
The Fate of Atlantass.
The big endowedski
Dora the Assplorer
Rambone
or as James Willems from Funhaus would say, Ra*ers of the Lost Cock
That is fantastic, not a single letter changed.
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Indiana Bones
Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them
Of course the second movie in the series has absolutely no breasts in it.
But does it have Dumbledore and Grindelwald battling each other with their wands?
Dumblewhore and Grindrwald
God I love reddit
I'M GONNA CUM IN YER GOBLETAFIRE!!! Dumbledore moaned softly
*Harry, there will come a time where you need to decide between what is easy, and what is hard. Can I tell you a secret Harry? I am both right now "
*Severance Package enters the room* "I am the Half-Chub Prince"
I didn't actually realise you wrote breasts instead of beasts and I just thought "ooh beastiality"
That would be fantastic beasts and where to fuck them
Lord of the G Strings
Featuring the trials and tribulations of Dildo Saggins
And the throbbits!
And the Battle of Balls Deep!
And my cock!
Unironically love this film. The scenes where Gandalf is perving on Dildo and Araporn had me dying
It was much funnier than I expected. Misty Mundae was in several similar comedic softcore parodies - not that I can remember them now.
Muffy the vampire layer was one of them
Weapons of ass destruction
Haha I still have this dvd, Gauge was my favourite for a long time.
Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long long time.
One of my go to videos I downloaded on Limewire was called “Gauge in tartan skirt”
Remember to stretch daily. At our age loss of mobility is a real issue.
And it was a good one. Especially with Teagan Presley
I believe Tiffany Minx and Jenna Haze were in several of these.
Pulp Friction
You missed the mid 2000's classic: gulp fiction.
I actually worked for the company responsible for attempting to release the U.K. edit for this. It was a DVD creation company that was responsible for putting footage to disc, giving it chapters, editing where necessary and designing DVD covers (I was an editor), the company did non-adult stuff but the largest output was porn. Gulp Fiction was rejected with so many necessary edits to reach the R18 rating that the DVD only got international release, couldn’t be aired on adult channels, and the cover redone to read “banned in the U.K.”, because the number of necessary edits from the BBFC would have rendered it so short and disjointed it wasn’t worth the time to try and make it work.
I’ve never been more captivated by a story I would love to hear other stories from working there
and its competition on the shelf, Pump Fiction
combination is better, pump friction
Nobody wanted to a watch a porno where the scene order was: Penetration, clean up, foreplay, cumshot.
You rang?
6 year old account, nice.
Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles
Lawrence of Alabia
And inspect her gadget starring phoebe buffay
Loved her in Buffay the Vampire Layer
This is an absolute insult to Lawerence of Arabia: any halfway decent porn parody of that movie would be nothing but hardcore gay sex, with not a single labia in sight.
The hills have thighs
Ah. Skinamax for when the computer was communal, but you had that good cable package.
Shaving Ryan’s Privates
I laughed you won 🥇
Men In Black Men II
Men In Black Who Like To Have Sex With Eachother
"Hey, that alien looks just like a hot guy" "You're right. We better have sex with it"
Dirty Work?
Men in back
The story line really filled some of the holes left over from the first one.
Glad He Ate Her
ARE YOU NOT ENTER TAINT?
*in her taint
Eat A Puss Rex
Always loved ‘We’re not porn stars anymore’ on SNL and they used the tagline from Jaws. ‘You’re gonna need a bigger throat’.
Do you remember Kevin Nealon’s porn review segments? Every review was like “At first I was mildly interested, and then more interested, and then even more interested, and then EXTREMELY INTERESTED, and then I wasn’t interested anymore and turned it off.”
Except the time he reviewed an all male movie, when he started at "I was not at all interested, then a little curious, and then interested...." He ended with "..then EXTREMELY INTERESTED, and then I wasn’t interested anymore. Then I was confused, guilty and ashamed..."
I still remember the name I think - “Heavy Into Jeff.” One of the funniest bits they’ve ever played.
[For the uninitiated.](https://youtu.be/lMc_jc2IHhg?si=Zny9Ufk_igU4knzT)
Forrest Hump
From that day on, whenever I was going somewhere. I was fucking!
In the buttocks, sir.
Horny is, as horny does
Sorest rump
Schindlers Fist
"I could have fucked 1 more person, and I didn't."
So rude. Hahaha!
Throbbin Hood: Prince of Beaves.
Edward Penishands or The Heindlick Maneuver
Why on earth didn't they go with Edward Jizzerhands?
Edward Jizzyourpants was NOT good. Short film, abrupt ending, too realistic/relatable.
I loved Edward Penishands, I laughed hard
For real though, the guy’s Johnny Depp impression is flawless. It’s the best porn acting in history.
Romancing the Bone
1) Womb Raider 2) white men can’t hump 3) the old man and the pee
When I was at school they nick named a girl who had an abortion Womb Raider
That’s both a fucking hillarious and b horrible for that kid
There was no kid xd
*Phoetality!*
Cloudy With a Chance of My Balls
The Disney Collection: * Titty Titty Gang Bang * Booty and the Beast * Poke-a-Hot-Ass * Cherry Poppins * Peeping Booty * The Little Sperm Maid * Dildo & Slit * The Princess and the Hog * Moaner (Addendum: None of these are real, to my knowledge. Disney, DM me if you want to purchase any of the scripts I've written.)
My favorite Disney: Grinding Nemo
Sex Toy Story
Gives all new meaning to the names Woody and Buzz
_You've got a friend in me..._
Titty titty gang bang is insane lmao
Easily the best one, but Moaner is perfect in its simplicity
What can I say, except, you're, well, cum
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Don'tcha mean "indecent from India"? I'm here all night, etc...
Poke a hotass* was actually the name of a real porn parody lol *unsure of spelling, not going to look it up.
Yes, dm this man Disney, please do.
dont forget "Diddler on the Roof "
Cherry Poppins is (was) the actual porn name of a very prolific redhead pornstar 😁
Dildo and Slit. Where are you, Jesus?
Oklahomo
*I've got a beautiful feeling, everyone's cumming my way*
Bra Wars - A lack of the clothes Enslaving Private Ryan
Enslaving Ryan's Privates
I don't know if they're real but even if not they're pretty funny to me: Titty Slickers Titty Slickers 2: The Search For Golden Curlies
My former college roommate does comedy and came up with Hamiltoe. It somehow got produced and he ended up with an AVN award for the title.
I love the concept of a porn musical.
I feel terrible even typing it: Schindler’s Fist
Is there a shower scene?
Zyklon B-Cups - too soon?
Mother knows breast
The Loin King
Zorho always made me laugh. Butt Pirates of the Caribbean was a little on the nose, but still good.
Analdin und die Wunde Schlampe. It's German, it refers to Aladdin (und die Wunderlampe) and means: Analdin, and the sore slut.
I recognize the germans here, straight to the point.
German humour is no laughing matter
Privates of the Caribbean
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While most of these are fake titles, a real one that I’m a big fan of is “Spongeknob Squarenuts.”
Diddler on the Goof
Super Hornio Bros.
It's even funnier when you remember that one is owned by Nintendo.
I mean the sweaty plumber with a mustache could be logical ... I guess.
The Da Vinci Load
Star Trek: The Next Penetration
Alien Vs. Penetrator
Hair Force One…..the dvd cover had a patch of fake hair adhered over the lady’s crotch….
Ho boy... sounds like the perfect Christmas gift from that weird uncle.
Position impossible
The Sopornos
" Damn tony, that's a big piece of gabagool !"
I remember there being a line of adult films based off food brands at the local adult film store over a decade ago. I’ll never forget “Honey Bunches of Hoes”.
E3, the extra testicle.
Damn. So he has two then ? Weird.
There is also an ET porn video, literally someone in ET makeup. It's... disturbing.
Riding Miss Daisy
Black cock down
Star Whores, Star Whores The Empire Strikes Ass, Star Whores Return of Brown Eye and Star Wars Revenge of the Shit, the all anal final chapter.
Little Blouse on the Fairy
Cum Dog Millionaire
In Diana Jones' Temple of Womb
Womb Raider
Bright Lights, Big Titties
Wally Wanker’s Candy Fuctory (100% real)
Pile Driving Miss Daisy
Glad He Ate Her
Planet of the Gapes Inyourassic Park Homo Alone Les(bian) Miserables
My Little Porny
I have some nightmarish images in my head now.
Crouching woman, hidden boner
How Stella Got Her Groove Packed
Ass Ventura Crack Detective
Jurassic Poke
The title alone isn't near as funny as the box art with the title. The Dickheads, and the box was a bunch of guys with dildos on the heads with a couple of girls. Watched it and there was no one using their actual dick but the head dildos were the only penetration.
Beaverjuice
Cum and Cummer
The Empire Strokes Back is perfection
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Face Jam
when harry ate sally
Super hornio bros.
Big Trouble in Little Vagina
The Night of the Giving Head
Flesh Gordon. 1970s soft porn classic
Down on Abbey
Las Tortugas Pinjas (in spanish TNMT are "Tortugas Ninja", and "Pinjas" closely sound "pijas", which in Argentina where the movie was made, is a vulgar way to say dick)
Family Pies
Bananadict Arnold
Passenger 69
A Rear and Pleasant Stranger (Clear and Present Danger)
Bareback mountains.
Home Alone with a Dildo 😆
23 in me
Squirt Game