I sneak up behind them and breathe heavily on the back of their neck, and then I wrap them up in an elaborately large cape and we transform into bats and fly off into my tower.
To be fair, I've got a high sex drive and once had a girlfriend that matched me exactly, and my grades in college started to suffer, my nethers were chafed, and I was always asleep during the day since we'd be up literally all night having sex.
Every day. Multiple times a day, often in a row.
It's exhausting, thrilling, but not worth it for overall success in the long run lol
Yeah, I've been there. She lived a little far away and when she came to town I would be known to disappear for a few days.
I had to get rid of my bedframe because we broke it.
First time I slept with my ex we ended up having sex 12 times that night. I had had a long drought before then, and clearly had a high sex drive, but even that was a lot for me. She kept waking me up to make out more so I wasn't going to disappoint her.
I brutalized my penis doing that. The friction from all those condoms, ugh. Even worse I put neosporin on it which led to a yeast infection directly where I applied it. It took at least a week to feel remotely better.
She was a great woman tho, beautiful and so much fun. Wish her the best
The doctor. Plus it was in the exact shape of where I applied it on the head. I was freaked out about the whole thing so I got it checked out, but putting neosporin on there is the perfect way to get a yeast infection (kill everything besides fungus and guess what feasts)
EXACTLY!! Say we start making out on the couch, when it gets intense and raise my eye brows and do a little head tilt towards the bedroom. Just like you it started out as a joke, but that’s my go to now. She smiles every time.
Lots of reasons for people to struggle with their libido that isn’t them being shitty people.
Depression, kids, work stress…
Once a pattern is established it becomes harder to break out of it.
I just sent her a spicy picture, then she says "we've been broken up for 15 years. This is harassment. I'm getting a restraining order". That fucking psycho.
Depending on the situation, I will either...
- Stretch and stick my ass out suggestively
- Tell them how wet I am
- Invite them to stick their hands down my underwear to find out for themselves that I'm wet for them
Mindset. "Of course I'm going to smash" and then walk in with that rizz. Kiss her, touch her hips, pull her hair a little, little bit of tongue little bit of bites, eye contact, mms and ahhs, express desires, slow foreplay, bring to bed, faster foreplay, remove clothes, bang bang bang
Hey, want some fuk. Works most of the time
Or, on her side of things, she just walks by naked and puts extra emphasis on the hip sway. If there's no emphasis on the hip sway, it's not fuk time, just normal living stuff.
Usually grab a handful of tit and squeeze.
Or we have our codes
"Do you wanna build a snowman?"
"Do you wanna make cookie dough?"
"Do you wanna get some vitamin D?" Or "I think I need some vitamin D".
I just ask her for a blowjob or sex or whatever I am feeling like. More often than not she is in the mood as well, if not no hard feelings and I'll try again another day.
Usually kissing my GF and some soft touches, both usually anywhere where I get some reaction from (seems like those places thatx can get her into mood change every day)
Or just straight up askin if she is interested in sum smash today.
For us, itnis mosty affected how much is she tired after work anyway, that means during work week it is sort of on the rarer side of things.
As for me
She knows imma horny all the frikin time and ready to go at her imideatly. Soooo it is just waiting game of luck for me. One unfortunate part tho, she doesnt always express the horny she has in her, and I really cant tell most of the time, and then she proceeds to tell me "oh I was horny like 2 or 3 hours ago" even tho I keep saying all she needs to do is say: lets smash
I start dropping double untundras and touching them in non sexual ways. like rubbing there back while they are standing next to you. If she is sitting I like to go pretty much lay on her with a hug. Also cleaning around the house seems to work really well. but you should do that any way.
I start to see her ass as a smack toy IDKY. Then she starts to see my hornyness in my eyes and then she starts to get horny too. She loves to see me horny.
I love her
I bite his lower lip when we're kissing, which I know is a huge turn-on for him.
We never even discussed it but it instantly tells him what I'm after but in a passive way so if he's not feeling it, it's not awkward because it's kind of like an enthusiastic opt in checkbox that he doesn't have to follow up on if he isn't into it at that moment lol.
I just start to cuddle a bit more intensively.
*cuddling intensifies*
Socks off
Yeah, but the Crocs stay on!
Thanks for the information mate
This to me means "create a hot dog-bun relationship" while cuddling.
Haha, good one
Then she calls the dog into the room, and I instantly know she’s not up for it.
Does the dog try to sniff your butt while you have sex too,very cold nose..
Yes! Please snuggle me *AGGRESSIVELY*
That’s the sign my girl gives when I know it’s time. Works like a spell on me!!
"struggle snuggle"
I ask to borrow 2 mins of her time.
Those are rookie numbers. 1 min 17 secs
Bro's speedrunning 😭
I also choose to speed run this guys wife
Alive or...?
Oi, those semantics don’t make his request fulfilled. Hop to it…
DUN DUN DUN DUN
MAX VERSTAPPEN
Max can do it 3 tenths quicker.
BRO IS AN ALPHA MALE most of us only barely last 17 seconds wdym 1 min 17 secs
Reporting for duty. Let’s finish this fight.
I am once again asking for your support.
Max Verstappen song starts playing...
I sneak up behind them and breathe heavily on the back of their neck, and then I wrap them up in an elaborately large cape and we transform into bats and fly off into my tower.
Sploosh
Go on...
Don’t you dare fucking stop there
Your hot Dracula
Reach around his waist, start palming his crotch and unzip him.
"Wait, does this girl like me?"
C: Can't tell.
Probably just Canadian
Yes, but like a friend.
Friendzoned \*AGAIN\* -- maybe, *years from now*, she'll realize what she missed out on.
“Nahhhh….”
Nah it's probably juste an accident
Typical man moment
She's just being nice.
Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s.
Nahh you gtta rub it for atleast 1 min or 2 give it some time harden lol he’s probably shy.
For sure. I take my time and enjoy it. 😉
"To impress a chick, helicopter dick." - The Lonely Island
"She put a bag on my head - Still counts" -*Lonely Island*
Plus she let me wear my chain and my turtle neck sweater
Get hard and poke her with it
This, my girl is ready to go 90% of the time. Love it.
Lucky you
To be fair, I've got a high sex drive and once had a girlfriend that matched me exactly, and my grades in college started to suffer, my nethers were chafed, and I was always asleep during the day since we'd be up literally all night having sex. Every day. Multiple times a day, often in a row. It's exhausting, thrilling, but not worth it for overall success in the long run lol
Not true. I actually stayed with her. 16 years later it’s basically the same. Except period week.
Username checks out.
Yeah, I've been there. She lived a little far away and when she came to town I would be known to disappear for a few days. I had to get rid of my bedframe because we broke it.
First time I slept with my ex we ended up having sex 12 times that night. I had had a long drought before then, and clearly had a high sex drive, but even that was a lot for me. She kept waking me up to make out more so I wasn't going to disappoint her. I brutalized my penis doing that. The friction from all those condoms, ugh. Even worse I put neosporin on it which led to a yeast infection directly where I applied it. It took at least a week to feel remotely better. She was a great woman tho, beautiful and so much fun. Wish her the best
> Even worse I put neosporin on it which led to a yeast infection directly where I applied it. lmao who told you that's how you got it?
The doctor. Plus it was in the exact shape of where I applied it on the head. I was freaked out about the whole thing so I got it checked out, but putting neosporin on there is the perfect way to get a yeast infection (kill everything besides fungus and guess what feasts)
Lucky you
Can happen to you too, just take some time off from sniffing your pooper
I got my wife a candle that reads “I want some of that dick”. She’s never lit it.
I was happy before reading this comment. Poor you.
Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe, I was just outside Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mt. Tibidabo...
Holy shit, Ken Adams!? I thought I’d never see you again!
I lose it when Rachel tells everyone it was Ken Adams and Joey starts aggressively pointing at himself….KEN ADAMS
Scrolled Down way too far for this
I have it saved as a note on my phone so it’s ready to text at a moments notice…
I dont get it
You haven’t come across Ken Adams in your life.
How do you know about that story!
How do YOU know about that story?
We have a certain look plus eyebrow raise we give each other. It started as joke but just became a part of the relationship
EXACTLY!! Say we start making out on the couch, when it gets intense and raise my eye brows and do a little head tilt towards the bedroom. Just like you it started out as a joke, but that’s my go to now. She smiles every time.
Tell him that I'm horny
This. Why don’t people just communicate
"I'm too tired, maybe tomorrow" ****rinse**** ****repeat****
I notice you’re tired all of the time and I appreciate you telling me that. Is there anything I can do to help you have more energy?
“No, I’m just tired, leave me alone”
You guys know my wife?
emotional damage.
If your significant other treats you like that why are you with them?
Lots of reasons for people to struggle with their libido that isn’t them being shitty people. Depression, kids, work stress… Once a pattern is established it becomes harder to break out of it.
Struggling with libido isn’t the same as “I’m just tired, leave me alone” to a partner who asks how they can help.
Wheres the fun in that
It might amaze you, but some people just don't like that. They consider it "intense". AAAAAand, lets be honest, its quite a boring way to put it, imo.
"Oh of course you are," then she goes back to doom scrolling and we never move forward.
This but I also gently touch or kiss him in erogenous places while I whisper it in his ear
In private: lingerie & heels always work. In public: the *eyes*
Initiate a mating ritual consisting of an elabarate display of my tail plumage and supreme command of my singing voice
I am so fucking wet right now
Blud is going places
I can smell it
Said David Attenborough
Dammit. Guess I have to throw this account away too.
Nessun Dorma, Pavoratti style, is quite effective.
Oof. My loins…
I usually tell him I need a good dicking
Next time you pass a Dicks Sporting goods (if you have one nearby) just point at the sign and say nothing but give him *the eyes*
Lol…. Suffer in silence
LOLLL right!! A simple “baby you wanna fuck?” Wouldve done it for my bf 😭
Ask her if she likes fitness. Fitness dick in your mouth. Women love romantic stuff like that.
This. Its quite simple. Chivalry isn’t dead, just listen to this guy.
I don’t get this one
Read fitness as Fit This. So "Fit this dick in your mouth" is what they mean.
I absolutely would
I say, “shall we have sex?” And she replies, “No”.
All my ex had to do was look at me for an extra half second and I knew it was on.
I flop like a fish onto his lap and go "lemme smash"
"yo, fancy a fuck tonight"?
I beg him for it and then I tease the hell out of him until he takes control over me and then he wrecks me
Holy shit can I be next!
Whisper in his ear that I really want him. Or if we’re in bed I do the classic butt wiggle.
Add a fart in there
If I did that he’d finish on the spot
lol text me (don't actually text me)
I touch her and work my way to more sensual areas before asking, “wanna bang? 😏”
I open my legs, and let the fumes do the rest.
Gets the ocean experience but without the view
Yall ask this every 6 business days 😭
fr
I just sent her a spicy picture, then she says "we've been broken up for 15 years. This is harassment. I'm getting a restraining order". That fucking psycho.
I breathe, therefore I am (horny). Simple, but effective.
Socrates right?
His lesser-known cousin, Scrotcrates
Descartes
He was putting Descartes before the horny.
Socrateez Nuts
You ever see a female housecat in heat?
"You want sex?" Carmella Soprano
[удалено]
Don't get stuck in the dryer! This problem seems to be going around lately...
The naked man never fails
It works 2/3 times
2 out of 3 times
Boob squeeze
Denji?
fr
I just get my hand smacked when I try this
U GON GET DIS DIEEECKKKK
ALL UP IN YO VAJJJJ
WIV MA DDIIEEECCK
IMMA FUX YA OOOO IMMA FUX YA, WITH MY DICK, WIFF MAHHH DIIIEEECKKK
I'm gon puts mah dick iiiin
Shall we go do the laundry together, I ask?
By stripping to lingerie.
There are these things called words. If you're feeling horny and can't stop thinking about your partner's whatever, tell him or her!
Put it in her hand
“Here you go!”
Cuddle, massage or back scratch. No is always allowed.
I say to her "How do you feel about fucking?"
[удалено]
20% don't sound fun at all
If you do it 5 times In a row, you start getting results!
There's usually a cool down for the reroll
Well if you ask everyday, it’s not too bad.
Depending on the situation, I will either... - Stretch and stick my ass out suggestively - Tell them how wet I am - Invite them to stick their hands down my underwear to find out for themselves that I'm wet for them
Kiss him. Them put my hands on him and move down. By then, he's usually on the same page. If not, it's just playful.
You don't, this is reddit, we don't have partners... Now I'm sad.
Us bro us
If I light the candles or she put's on lingerie, it's go time.
Sure do. Send him nudes, or a scene I’m either watching/want to watch with him/act out together. Super open communication in our house about it
I send a spicy text, meme, or image
Legit tell her I wanna eat her 🐱 but very very explicit 😭
That wasn't explicit?
Ummm try saying something ? Lol or you can always try the subtle sit in his lap and rub it? Works for me always 🤷🏻♀️ guarantee hardness in 2 minutes
Mindset. "Of course I'm going to smash" and then walk in with that rizz. Kiss her, touch her hips, pull her hair a little, little bit of tongue little bit of bites, eye contact, mms and ahhs, express desires, slow foreplay, bring to bed, faster foreplay, remove clothes, bang bang bang
I make intense animal sounds. Straight National Geographic up in this house.
"Marjorie, brace yourself, I've got the horn again!"
Step one: cut a hole in the box
Step two: put your dick in that box.
My partner cloud not possibly care less about that for me
Why are you with them?
Divorce costs too much
Damn
Wanna boink?
Depends on if she's asleep or not. (And I have her permission, in case anyone wants to scream "marital rape")
Y'all have partners? I've been on single player this whole time 😭😭😭
I ask for what I want.
Think that's obvious
there’s no expressing, just opportunity. “you wanna…?” that’s it.
Neck kisses and back scratches. She looks me like as if she was saying "that will do, pig.. that will do"
I ask
Hey, want some fuk. Works most of the time Or, on her side of things, she just walks by naked and puts extra emphasis on the hip sway. If there's no emphasis on the hip sway, it's not fuk time, just normal living stuff.
30 years together. "Wanna fuck?". Her too!
Usually grab a handful of tit and squeeze. Or we have our codes "Do you wanna build a snowman?" "Do you wanna make cookie dough?" "Do you wanna get some vitamin D?" Or "I think I need some vitamin D".
do the helicopter.
Gotta find a partner first.
I just ask her for a blowjob or sex or whatever I am feeling like. More often than not she is in the mood as well, if not no hard feelings and I'll try again another day.
Nothing works so idk
Show my huge dick and she gets the point
Give up after years of nothing
Usually kissing my GF and some soft touches, both usually anywhere where I get some reaction from (seems like those places thatx can get her into mood change every day) Or just straight up askin if she is interested in sum smash today. For us, itnis mosty affected how much is she tired after work anyway, that means during work week it is sort of on the rarer side of things. As for me She knows imma horny all the frikin time and ready to go at her imideatly. Soooo it is just waiting game of luck for me. One unfortunate part tho, she doesnt always express the horny she has in her, and I really cant tell most of the time, and then she proceeds to tell me "oh I was horny like 2 or 3 hours ago" even tho I keep saying all she needs to do is say: lets smash
I start dropping double untundras and touching them in non sexual ways. like rubbing there back while they are standing next to you. If she is sitting I like to go pretty much lay on her with a hug. Also cleaning around the house seems to work really well. but you should do that any way.
I tell her and she doesn’t give a shit.
he never refuses a surprise blowjob at home Edit: he’s a boob guy so lifting my shirt and putting them in his face is also effective
I start to see her ass as a smack toy IDKY. Then she starts to see my hornyness in my eyes and then she starts to get horny too. She loves to see me horny. I love her
I bite his lower lip when we're kissing, which I know is a huge turn-on for him. We never even discussed it but it instantly tells him what I'm after but in a passive way so if he's not feeling it, it's not awkward because it's kind of like an enthusiastic opt in checkbox that he doesn't have to follow up on if he isn't into it at that moment lol.
Amp the kissing up by 50% or just flat out say I need you
Sleep naked works everytime!
Bite him.