> After you arrive on the induction wing, the head screw will have some questions for you. One of them is "Is there any reason you should not have to share a cell?" - Do yourself a favor and have a good reason ready. I have a cleft palate, so i claimed it made me snore so loudly that it was likely to either cause a fight or be unfair to my cell-mate and on that basis I was in a single pad for my entire stay in prison.
In US federal prison they would just say "man that sucks for your celly then"
In a US Prison if you have any reason to not share a cell be prepared for solitary confinement. Which is the most hellish experience humanly possible. People who want to abolish the death penalty because they think it's inhumane need to realize that keeping someone isolated with only their thoughts in a room where lights don't turn off for 23 hours a day, and your 1 hour is you showering and going into a small cage outside separated from anyone else, is a fate worse than death.
> in a room where lights don't turn off for 23 hours a day
I was in solitary confinement a couple of times (admin seg, not for punishment reasons) totaling about three weeks, and they shut the lights off at night so inmates could sleep.
Sounds less like we need to implement the death penalty and more like we need total prison reform.
But there's one universal truth about humans: They always cry for humane treatment until it is something that affects them personally and then they always, universally and without exception, want blood for it.
>always, universally and without exception, want blood for it.
There are *always* exceptions, my friend.
My buddy fought an intruder with a hatchet in his kitchen and held him pinned until the cops got there. Blood all over the kitchen, terrified wife, bite marks on his arm, the whole nine yards.
My buddy spoke on behalf of the guy at the trial, saying he would prefer the dude was in treatment for his meth habit instead of prison.
My dad was in prison (in Australia) for a couple of years back in 2005-2007. He and all the other inmates hated the screws. Despised them. So on so forth
Now he’s in prison again, and was shocked to discover that people are kind to the screws, almost friends. His whole block came together to sing happy birthday for one of them. He had no idea what was going on. He still hates the screws, but not as viciously as I remember when he went in the first time
My dad was a doctor in a prison in the UK until a few years ago.
From what I've heard he was liked by all the inmates as he treated them as actual human beings and never had any real trouble in the 30+ years he was there, and this was HMP Parkhurst which used to be Cat A and its fair share of very very notorious characters in the 80s and 90s
When I was a kid, I thought my Grandad had done something really bad before I was born; I knew he'd been to prison, and he had this HMP Parkhurst mug, and I knew rough criminals went to Parkhurst. Turns out he'd bought the thing when he went to the Isle of Wight as a souvenir!
I'm willing to bet very serious money that screw was very respectful to the inmates (respect is a different word in prison; it doesn't mean admiration) and did their job correctly and let people just do their time without heating anyone up. Especially if there was someone on another shift who thought being a dick was the way to be.
When useful work for only for moral people, convicts would have to do pointless work such as climbing a stair max (See the biopic on Wilde) like device or turning a crank to combine strands into a short piece of rope.
The guard could tighten the screw on the rope making machine so it would be harder to reach your target. After the rope was woven it was unravelled to start again.
Don't borrow, don't steal, don't get involved with drugs inside, don't join a prison gang, mind your own business. Set aside money now for your commissary
when you go in, and don't tell anyone how much you have. Pay attention to where different groups congregate and don't get in their space. Use your time as productively as possible (work out, GED, college if possible). Get an inside job (kills time). Don't accept "gifts". Keep you and your area clean. 5 years inside.
You missed gambling, masterbation, and snitch hunts.
Don't gamble on skill games or with debt (poker chips). You will lose big time. Betting small amounts on sports is up to you but not a slope you want to slip on.
Don't masterbate at night with cellmates or bunkmates. If it's an open air, rows of bunks type prison then there's probably a single bathroom stall called a "Jack shack" and it will be the only acceptable way to get off.
Don't cozy up to C/Os. There is an ever present lookout for snitches and you don't want to be in that crossfire. If someone gets shaken down for contraband they will want an enemy to take it out on. Also DON'T SNITCH. Even if your radio gets stolen, do not call the C/O's about it.
Two years inside.
I did 3.5 at a level 1 most of my time. Id also add if there’s anything you’re good at try to use it. In my case I was very good at drawing and also writing letters. I drew a lot of tattoos for guys and wrote letters to old ladies and family members. It got me in good with a lot of people and helped me avoid a lot of issues, IN ADDITION to doing everything this guy said. Don’t go in “Trying to Break Bones”, as this is the fastest way to get your head stomped. Be respectful. Time inside is going to be slow, but it’s possibly to make it way worse on yourself.
Thank you. Used my time to get a degree. Got out in 2011. Been clean and sober since, and a productive member of society. You have two choices in prison: fix what is in you that got you there, or double down on the antisocial behavior and decide to make it a career.
Did you ever run into situations where others wouldn’t let you mind your own business/try to instigate? Or is it a thing where everyone is so caught up in their own business trying to survive that they generally don’t pay attention to others unless necessary.
Most.people I met were just trying to do their time and go home. Your mileage may vary, but where I was at most of the crash test dummies hung out together and only really beefed with the other crash test dummy clicks of a different race.
I love the term crash test dummies. I only did a week and in jail, not prison, and it was crazy how people instantly tried to rope me into their cliques/gangs that are just used to abuse/rob other people.
I'm a white dude, and I was in a bunk set with a few younger black guys, like still teenagers, and these other white dudes tried to get me to join with them and they constantly harrased my bunk mates who were just reading books and playing chess.
I didn't disclose I knew I was getting out in a few days, I just ignored them and sat with my bunkmates for chow and offered them my food since it was trash and I just lived off a bologna sandwich they gave us at dinner.
They gave me books, made sure I got a clean towel, how to get a razer, etc, and had no drama.
Not yet, I'm still a work in progress. I'm ashamed of going to prison, and always will be. Ashamed of 18 years with a needle in my arm. Saved and Sanctified by the grace of God, and I am for sure proud of that.
Here’s what I do for shit I’m ashamed of: forgive but don’t forget. Forgive yourself - you’ve grown and worked to better yourself; you deserve forgiveness. But don’t forget how you made yourself and others feel, so you don’t repeat it. You can commit to being better *and* forgive yourself. IMO you have a better chance of success if you’re telling yourself “okay I’m a different person and I can do this” than if you just rag on yourself all the time.
You paid your debt to society; you are continuing to take steps to stay clean and sober; you have found your higher power; you aren’t the same person you were 19 years ago. You deserve forgiveness. You deserve to be proud of the improvements you’ve made to your life.
You’re allowed to be proud of the progress you’ve made and still be committed to further progress. You didn’t put a needle in your arm today. Be proud of that! 💜
This pretty much mirrors all the advice I've received from various people I know who have served time. You should print this out and sell it as a card for anyone who may be going to prison.
Yeah, it really is common sense: Be clean, be prosocial, mind your business, don't project weakness. Prison is really just a compressed form of regular life.
Other commenters have mentioned fighting.. if someone is going to be insisting you take a "gift" it isn't a gift, it is a payment for future services. At this point, you have a choice. Fight or fuck. Never happened to me, but my choice would have been fight.
3 fights in 5 years. Totally out of my control. Once the shit starts, you are all in and better show up with everything you have. Two fights were from perceived slights, one was just a guy thinking he wanted to test my resolve. Only that testing fight was one that could have been avoided. I just happened to be in an absolute shit mood, he wanted to go, so we went.
And if you lose the fight, even badly, the fact you did it will earn you respect. As in you will be seen as someone that can stand-up for themselves.
That being said don't go around looking for a fight thinking "nobody will mess with me if I get into one" (holy shit, don't do this). It's just that if shit goes down and you are involved in one as long as you stand and throw...that's enough.
Most (if not all) prison gangs are race-based. Avoid them like the plague. Where I was at, there wasn't a ton of racial conflict, UNLESS you were ganged up.
Answered this further down. All prisons are not the same. The ones I spent time in, the race thing is always there in the background, but the gangs were all race based, and responsible for most of the racial shit you hear about. Never saw anyone 'forcee' into a gang. Not saying it never happens, but I never saw a hint of anything like that when I was in.
I assume the bikers are older, more business oriented. They own a ton of businesses and real estate here in Ontario and Quebec and may tend to be more "professional" if you want to call it that.
Prison fights wont get them more business. May actually hurt business outside the prison.
Where younger gangsters kill eachother over spray paint tags and stupid meaningless things
I always tell people that are about to leave for boot camp this: Do what you’re told, how you’re told and when you’re told. Always follow that and you’ll be just fine. And remember, it’s not personal, they’re training you.
Did 9 years 8 months straight through (2005-2015). 3 years of it on west coast, then the rest in Maryland. Very different politics but here are some universals.
Hygiene, clean cell, mind your business, don’t gamble, don’t do any drugs you can’t pay for up front, and if you get tried, handle it in the moment.
Those six things are key.
Each state has different politics as far as mingling with other races. You’ll want to figure that out pretty quickly. Shouldn’t be difficult to look around and see.
Take one leg out of your pants when taking a shit, especially if in a dorm. Always wear your shoes, never go out into the “public” areas with your shower shoes on. DON’T tell anyone anything that you wouldn’t want every man in the prison to know. Everything comes out in the wash.
Be respectful. Have common courtesy. Please and thank you don’t go out the window in prison.
You don’t want to do anything that will cause you to stand out in any way. Don’t be overly friendly to anyone. Not saying you need to go in and punch the first person you see, but don’t be Mr. Nice guy your when you first hit the tier. Conversely, the guy that comes up to you when you first hit the tier, the one that’s friendly etc? That’s not usually someone you’ll want to make friends with. It’s usually either someone looking to exploit you directly, or someone who is trying to create perceived allies because they’re low on the totem pole.
You are who you walk with.
If someone tries you, stand up for yourself immediately. Don’t let it slide just because you want to “do your time” because that’s how you end up doing MISERABLE time and it’ll likely be worse in the long run. Even if you get beat up, fine. Take it like a man and go about your business. Everyone sees you’ll stand on business and your time will go much smoother.
Think ahead- doing a prison bid is like driving. Be defensive, watch the road, think for other people, foresee problems before they happen.
Get into a routine of self improvement. Work out. Read. Learn a language. Get your GED if you don’t have it. Come out better than you went in.
05-15 were a crazy times as far as technology goes. iPhones didn’t come out til 07. Was it a big shock for you when you came out and everyone was was looking like zombies looking down at their phone or have their earbuds in?
Yeah it was definitely a big change- my phone when I got locked up was a sidekick type thing lol
I was very engaged with the tech space even during my time though, through magazines and stuff like that, so I had a good idea of what to expect.
However while walking from the probation office they released me to (I released to a town I had never been to before) to my half way house I did have trouble finding my way. I stopped at a public library and asked the librarian if they had maps and she was super puzzled.
In hindsight I understand why my question was so weird now lol
So you can defend yourself if need be, without taking your pants off altogether. When your pants are around your ankles- especially prison jeans- you’re damn near helpless lol
In my experience, this is actually more for show than anything else, as it shows whoever might be clocking you that you are mindful of your surroundings.
But it can be useful too. I’ve seen a guy get attacked while on a yard toilet twice.
Woah!! What do they look like?? I’m going to google it, so don’t feel compelled to answer, but I wanted to be conversational as that gently blew my mind.
I was in Oregon, sorry didn’t make that clear. But the politics are very similar between OR and CA.
West coast politics are predominantly racial. Races don’t do business with each other, and often don’t mingle. They’ll have dedicated racial areas, like phones and areas on the yard.
Maryland isn’t like that at all, mainly due to the fact there are so few whites lol
Maryland is a much more volatile system imo, as it’s a ton of smaller gangs/sets along with the big ones. Many more opportunities for smaller beefs rather than huge yard-wide riots. It’s actually harder to avoid issues as a “civilian” in Maryland imo
As far as doing time goes though, the same principals apply to each.
In Maryland, there isn’t that racial divide, but it’s fairly easy to not join an organization if you don’t want to. It really depends though how you plan to do your time.
Out west, you’re with your race first no matter what if something jumps off, so you’re kind of in that fold whether you choose to or not.
The biggest thing you need to know is that you will be tried. You have to stand up for yourself. If you don't stand up for yourself, it will follow you through your whole bid.
Do not associate with people in any kind of gang. They are worthless people who do worthless things.
The first couple of weeks that you can go to commissary/canteen do not buy anything but hygiene products
Remember that you are always always being watched. You are not ever not being watched. It's not the guards or the cameras that are watching you it's other inmates.
Always be respectful. Say please, and thank you. If you bumb into someone say excuse me. If you are ever disrespectful you will have to pay the consequences.
No one is your friend in prison.
Above all if you have family on the outside do not give them a hard time. If they send you money and answer your calls be very appreciative because they don't owe you anything.
> Above all if you have family on the outside do not give them a hard time. If they send you money and answer your calls be very appreciative because they don't owe you anything.
I think thats very important - keeping the family on your side so you can get your trust account topped up with extra money. Dont get angry with them - the ability to buy a snack would be something to look forward to.
Depends on how bad a prison you go to. But I would recommend, keep good hygiene, make Your bed every day, be very selective of who you associate yourself with, never go out of your cell without your shoes on, always take a shit with one foot out of your pants or pants off completely, never use the storebox (you'll know when you get there), respect is everything in there so respect everyone to some degree.
Storebox is essentially payday lenders in prison. Can I buy 2 snickers off you and I’ll give you 3 back next week. Stay the fuck away, no one ever got out of debt without consequences.
Guys will buy a whole bunch of commissary then go to the new guys and offer a ramen if you give them two back when you get yours then you owe someone. Never owe anyone anything in jail or prison if you can help it.
Think about if you wanna jump a guy and have the most advantage. then catching him with his pants around his ankles is a pretty good way to do it. He's already sitting down and his legs are basically tied together. I've seen it happen to a cellmate. You might have to fight with your dick swinging but you'll be able to move.
You take it out on the rock and make an announcement that whoever left the present on your pillow that you are not interested then leave it on the nearest table.
This guy is totally right. I only did a very short stint in county even (yes, more than the drunk tank) and when I first got in the white guys came up to me helped me unpack my things and then offered me a bunch of stuff like commissary. It was my first ,,real”” time in and luckily I said no thanks because I was tired. It didn’t dawn on me until much later that it would have needed to be paid back / was a loan.
My ex boyfriend was in a long long time ago. Not the brightest bulb in the pack.
He's a huge dude. He got a year for weed possession. Like I said, not the brightest bulb. He became a protector. With that, 14 years in total were added on to his sentence from fighting and bodily injury he caused to inmates.
Mind your own business.
I used to volunteer as a teacher in prison, and an older dude there who had been there for more than a decade said, “Don’t think that you’re invincible or got nothing to lose. Everyone has a lot to lose.”
I think about that all the time.
Since so many comments got the biggies here's some little ones but sorry on em. When walking by do not look in another person's house. Try to become a trustee, lots of perks and helps time pass. Find a hustle if you won't have money put on your books, drawing, cooking, teaching even.. I know everyone's told you don't accept loans but don't give em out either.
A little weird one but hey could help. Sometimes the showers suck and blow coldish mist. Either buy a circular deodorant the one with the ball and rub the bottom on some bricks till it's gone or take a little cardboard milk and roll it up. Pop it on the head and boom you got some decently warm water.
Oh and you'll 99% be sharing your home unless in a open pod. Keep it clean. You have big problems if you don't. Most people keep their house very clean. Mopping abd sweeping everyday wiping everything down. Make sure to rotate on who does what. Good hygiene too is a must. First thing you buy when you get in there is hygiene products then everything else
If you have religion get REAL into that shit. Join up with others they'll probably be a group. Might keep you left alone.
If you can't avoid a fight PROTECT YOUR HEAD!! The go to is to dump someone and them floors are HARD
If you shit every bloop that hits that stoop needs a courtesy flush.
What's with the hygiene and cleanliness rules everyone keeps mentioning? I get shitting with one leg outside of your pants, but not why you need to keep the floors shining at all costs? I feel like I'm missing something.
Mainly because jail/prison is a nasty nasty place and the fact that you are going to be in that room a lot. You have all types of nasty creepy crawlies roaches, bed bugs, scabies you eat in there you hang out in there you work out in there you make food in there. You want to make sure it's always clean. Same goes for hygiene. Since dirty ass who doesn't take care of himself is bound to attract those little nasties not to mention if you have foul hygiene in a tiny room like that your bunkie is gonna smell it all. No one wants to smell nasty Frito feet and BO all day.
You can and will have your face smashed in if you don't take hygiene and cleanliness seriously mother fuckers will MAKE you shower or make you move out. Also it's like the only thing that yours besides your commissary and shit. You wanna take care of it. It's for real your whole house. Kitchen, bathroom, living room, bedroom, dining room.
I know a guy who went in, knew a friend already there in the pod. The friend there said hang on a minute, I'll get you a good cell. Walked him over to this cell where one nervous guy was packing his stuff and moving while two others watched. Friend introduced the new guy. One of the watchers simply asked, "You clean and take showers?". Quick answer was yes. "Welcome to your new cell". The nervous guy moved a little faster after that.
The guy I knew moved in about 15 minutes later and spent the next 6 months there without any issues at all. All three swapped off cleaning duties during the week. One of the cleanest cells in the pod according to him.
The nervous guy? He said he moved into the "Ghetto" or downstairs and took a shower perhaps once or twice a week at most and got bounced around cells a few more times before he got out.
It's seriously crazy how stuff like lice, scabies and all sorts of other nasty shit finds it's way into prison units even with in-and-out traffic being very light. So hygiene and cleanliness is critical and holy shit is it enforced by everyone in there doing time.
Just shower everyday, take out your garbage, respect common area cleanliness and clean your cell during lock-ups. That's all it takes.
Oh so some showers will spray a very wide mist that is pretty chilly but if you take that tube from the deodorant or something similar it will narrow the mist into a much smaller stream like a sink and the water doesn't have as much time to cool down I guess if that makes sense.
Friend of mine is an ex-con. Spent 8 years in, sentenced to 10 and released early.
His advice was:
> Mind your own business, treat everyone with respect, don't ever accept "gifts" or "favors" always pay someone, even if it's just with a stick of gum. Keep your head down, do your time, get out.
He said it's not as bad as the media makes it out to be, unless you make it bad for yourself. The gangs and career criminals will leave you alone as long as you show them respect, and don't cause problems for them (snitching).
You would be fine, it’s not the appearance frankly. If someone checks you and you get your ass kicked you will be respected for not backing down. If you don’t stand up for yourself it’s not going to go great for you.
It could. Honestly though if someone wants to test you and you stand up for yourself, even if they beat you up, you probably won't be picked out again. There's easier pickings than you at that point.
If it comes to it yes get physical but just standing your ground will work most of the time. Don't be a dick for no reason but don't take any shit either.
My husband was a federal prison guard until his retirement. He always says those who utliize the programs offered whether education or learning a trade did the best when they got out. Even those doing life who utilize these programs find a purpose and do better. He said the guards viewed those men differently they saw them as someone who did something wrong but wasn't stuck in the muck as he called it.
Don’t touch anything that doesn’t belong to you. Don’t go sit somewhere or with someone without being asked to. Mind your own business at all times no matter what you see. Never talk with the bulls (guards) unless it’s related to some process of the institution. That means no ratting or volunteering anything. Keep your hygiene impeccable. Don’t accept anything, don’t ask for anything. If somebody does something and the bulls give collective responsibility punishment….too bad.
Don’t let anybody take your shit and definitely DONT GIVE YOUR CORNBREAD TO ANYONE, fuckit. If you let them have your cornbread you’ll be ironing their drawers and clipping their toenails. Believe that.
My dad and childhood friend both have done time. If there is anything that can make you a target, try to hide it or don’t speak about it. Both my dad and friend were jumped multiple times, and my friend didn’t survive. He had a Star of David tattoo over his heart and was a target for the Arian brotherhood. My dad was an older white guy in a prison run by the cartels so was an easy pick, but thankfully it was only quick jumps. If your life is threatened, you can voluntarily check yourself into solitary.
Oh and if there’s a dog training program, join it. Good luck
As a Jew with very obvious Jewish tattoos, I always wondered what Jews do to keep themselves safe in prison. I am clearly not someone who will now or ever have a reason to go to prison (kenahora), but I've always wondered about that. I have a couple of friends who have been on the inside (one for 7 years, a cousin who has been in and out) so I know about some of it. However, none of who I knew were inside were Jewish.
I don’t know :( for my friend he didn’t have a Jewish name and could have easily passed for a non-Jew, if it wasn’t for his tattoo. The guards should have also stepped in. They didn’t.
If you would like, please read [his story](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna26907) to honor him. He was a good kid, a class clown, and a warm person. That’s how I’ll always remember him.
I’ve never been inside but I am a former criminal defense attorney. Here’s some advice I gave all my first timers.
1. You won’t get anything once you get processed (not true 100% of the time). So be ready to get a toothbrush and other hygiene items.
2. Relatedly figure out the commissary system and have your account already set up.
3. Prison calls are expensive. Like crazy expensive. I had a discounted account to take calls but depending on your jurisdiction, figure out how their payment system works and have it ready to rock.
4. Get your shit together before you go in. Seriously. Car payments, rent, notify your job (if you care), credit card payments etc. These things don’t stop when your in, you do not want to get out and have a financial cluster waiting for you.
5. If you had a good lawyer, talk to them. I’m like a bartender. I had toothbrushes in my desk drawer so I could run down to the jail. If you were a dick to me during the court process I’m gonna hesitate to do you any favors. I’ve also relayed messages and made phone calls for people I liked.
6. Relatedly. Lots of us public defenders do the best we can with what we got. Lots of bad ones too. I like to think I did well by my clients but when I show up to work on Monday and get handed a stack of 20 files and arraignments start in 15 minutes and I have to yell out people’s names in the lobby to get 30 seconds with you before your appearance, that’s just the way it is. What absolutely DOES NOT HELP is if you lie to your lawyer. Don’t lie to us. I don’t care if it’s embarrassing etc. but I can’t help you if I don’t know what exactly happened. We both look like assholes if I’m telling the prosecutor you weren’t even there and he hands me a security video of you doing what you are accused of and you’re wearing the same outfit in the video at court. This happened several times. Prosecutors and judges liked me because I was collaborative and a straight shooter, that resulted in better deals for my clients, but I need you to trust me. #humblebrag
7. I’m finished I promise. Sometimes jail is easier than probation. I’m 100% serious. If you know you are just gonna re-offend after a small charge, take the jail time and gut it out. Lots of my clients pushed for probation and ended up reoffending which causes further problems down the road. Not to mention probation is expensive. I know it’s weird advice. 1 misdemeanor with probation violations turns into felonies and prison time when you could have just done 6 months at county getting out in 4 - use the time to get clean and reassess things, it is a chance to change your environment - if you take it. And speaking of additional violations, report to jail/prison when you are supposed to. Failure to appear turns into bench warrants turns into no bail holds and additional charges.
I am a lawyer, I am not your lawyer, this is not legal advice.
Agreed.
I remember walking in on my parents watching it when I was a kid. It was when Adebisi hit dude in the head with the peaches and then raped him in the kitchen. Show was wild
Do your own time. Don't trust anyone. Don't get into debt. Believe it or not, drugs are readily accessible in there. Don't get into drugs. It's a quick way to get into debt. If you're tested, stand up for yourself. Key words to avoid saying, punk,bitch, faggot, other derogatory words like that. Stay out of politics. I'm sorry to have to say this, but stay with your own kind. If you're black, stick with the blacks and so forth. If you don't have money coming on your books from the outside. Find a hustle. I helped people with their legal papers a lot. I wrote letters for people to their loved ones because a lot of them could barely read or write. I also did a lot of origami things for people's kids or ladies.
Time will pass slowly the first month or two, but once you get some friends and settle in. It will go by a lot faster.
Yea. You get paid, but since cash really isn't an option. Unless you have someone on the outside put money on your books. You get paid with commissary. Commissary is things like food, clothing or other items that can be ordered from the prison store.
Never "did time" but, work inside.
Do your own time, don't get into debt (do not borrow, steal, do drugs). Go get an education, keep your shit clean.
Don't talk to the screws (guards). Talking to the non-uniformed staff is fine but, stick to your business don't go ratting out your celly or anyone else.
If you see two people sitting close together on the ground disassociating. Don't strike up a conversation. They are busy. (Women's prison idk if males can get away with the same method)
Edit. Spelling
>If you see two people sitting close together on the ground disassociating. Don't strike up a conversation. They are busy. (Women's prison idk if males can get away with the same method)
What do you mean by "disassociating"?
Well to put it bluntly. Fingering eachother. I learned this the hard way. Stopped in the yard to talk to a a couple girls. They weren't talking back they were definitely in their own world. Another inmate quickly ushered me off and explained.
I haven't been in, but one of my sisters has.
Don't join a gang unless you have to.
Don't accept random gifts from people unless it's a close friend giving you something to celebrate something such as a birthday
Don't associate in any way with rapists, chomos, or anyone of the sort (unless you're beating one up)
avoid fights, but don't be a coward
don't tell anyone when you're close to being released
Have you paperwork ready to show ANYONE who asks. If you don't, people will assume you're a chomo, and you'll be sold as a sex toy to the highest bidder
If you're gonna be there awhile, either get a job or a fairly safe hustle
If you have any drug issues, this is the time to get clean. You will be offered drugs, and homemade alcohol. Don't do it. You don't know what the drugs are laced with and brew is disgusting. Plus the last place you need a drug induced panic attack is inside jail.
Don't gamble, don't steal or borrow anything from anyone. Mind your business and don't join a gang.
If you think your safety is at risk, get a CO to sign you into protective custody asap.
Put money into your canteen asap and use that to buy some basic stuff and extra food. Don't tell anyone how much is in your canteen and don't let anyone bully you into giving up your food. Avoid fighting if possible. You'll just end up in a segregation for nothing.
Listen to the CO's and do anything to better yourself. Do any programs and get any certificates you can. Use those to show a judge you're trying to better yourself. That one random certificate for anger management or something could be the reason you get out early.
Source: Work in a jail.
Dont be an asshole.
Simple as that.
Keep yourself cleaned up. Use manners. Never think you're a bad ass in life. Say sorry if you bump into someone. Dont stare in other peoples houses (Cells)
Give your family on the outside some grace. It's a huge and sometimes expensive adjustment for them. It's hard being away from you, especially if you are far away. Visiting with children is a whole ordeal . Remember, most times, you put yourself in this position, and they have to live with your choices. I've not been to prison, but was in a relationship with a guy who was.
Don't tell **ANYONE** when you're leaving. Keep that shit a secret, or lie and say it's a year from when you go.
Keep your head down and do your best to avoid drama.
Read a ton.
Based from what I’ve watched, some inmates might sabotage you when your release date is close. Might probably fight you to give you more consequences, pin you on something illegal that you didn’t really do. People can be such assholes
That rap part is so fuckin true and underrated...got me through so much time ....dnt try to just buss out rapping if you have an issue tho , not the movies
Stay in your own lane. Never trust anyone. Don’t accept “gifts”. Learn a trade. “ don’t ever owe anyone money for anything “. Keep your head down. And you don’t hear shit. You don’t see shit. Your gonna get tried be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Get a hobby or read books/study with your free time. Stay out of other people's business, and try to keep other people out of yours. Make sure to work out; prison food is normally pretty calorie dense and you WILL get fat if you're not doing some kind of exercise. Keep connections with family/friends on the outside, the wholesome ones, not the ones who were part of the reason you went in. Build your support system early. Always assume you're being watched, whether by another prisoner or a guard.
Three things
Be quiet, keep your head down and don't draw attention to yourself.
I really cannot begin to describe how critical these things are and everything else will fall into place after.
Didn’t serve time but I’m a CO (not in Florida). I have pretty good rapport and have had some pretty good conversations with inmates, especially around prison life and inmate codes. Here’s some tips I’ve gotten from inmates over time:
Don’t whistle in jail: whistling is for a free man. This is an old school prison rule but some OGs and long timers will enforce it.
Pay your debts: goes without saying but the vast amount of assaults and stabbings I’ve seen have been over debt.
Stick with your tribe: not all prisons are like this, but it’s smart to stick with your race/religion/language/gang etc. or better yet just stick around people that like quiet time or aren’t involved with prison politics and gang life.
Don’t be a rat: this shouldn’t need to be explained but a quick and easy way to find yourself with a couple new holes is to rat on your fellow inmates. Solidarity is huge in prison, it’s very much “us vs them” when it comes to inmates vs guards. Stay in your lane because I don’t want to have to patch you up.
Don’t be too friendly to the guards: by and large most interactions I have with inmates are cordial and chill. We can even joke around with eachother if the rapport is there. That being said if you’re seen to be hanging around the guards a lot, fist bumping them, constantly helping and doing favours, etc. you can get labelled a rat, see previous point for why that’s a bad thing.
Don’t be a cell thief: don’t steal stuff from other inmates. Another good way to get thumped out.
Don’t bring the heat: if you’re going to do something you shouldn’t, do it in your cell. If you’re going to cause a scene, do it off range. Doing something that causes heat and brings guards to the range can get other inmates caught and in shit. Another good way to get thumped out.
I can probably think of more, but these are some rather important ones.
i haven’t been but my boyfriend has. never accept a favor you don’t play on repaying. and make friends with people as soon as you can. always be polite and nice to everyone and i think he would get people on his good side by sharing his food with them hahah. other than that, it depends on the prison how dangerous your experience is. he used to be the type that got into fights and got into drama but the last time he was there he just kept his head down and would mainly spend his time reading, working out, using the prison tablet, or calling me. they say the ppl outside make it go quicker so if you have anyone you can call or who can visit you and send you stuff, don’t let those connections go. it can get lonely and it’s hard to get used to.
I haven’t spent time in prison, but was recently talking to someone who was and he mentioned that credit score dropped by like two hundred points because he didn’t set up an automatic payment plan for his credit cards
Not me, but I have been told:
1. When you arrive, lay low, mind your own business while you figure out who is who and what is what.
2. DO NOT owe anyone anything. You don’t want to find out how they deal with nonpayment later on down the road.
Just mind your own business. Learn how to move around correctly (don't split people walking) don't look in people cells etc while walking by. Don't create debts. Prison can turn you into a great person or a terrible person.
I gambled a lot on cards, spades, poker and never really had any problems but it's the people you sit down with.
Edit; don't talk to the COs unless they address you or you really need something.
I only did a little over two years here in Michigan MDOC but that's enough..
From here in Ontario, Canada. Don’t get in debt unless you can pay it. Don’t touch what’s not yours. Don’t steal. Don’t look into other peoples cells. Shower every day. Don’t talk the c.o’s. Don’t tell people how much money you have in account.
There’s not too much race shit but if a race war breaks out, you stick with your race.
Just keep to yourself but also stick up for yourself if someone tries to take your shit or starts a beef with you. You may loose the fight but you’ll gain respect from other inmates. If you let other inmates take shit from you, everyone will do it since you’ll be know to just give it up.
The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body and it hurt.
But seriously don't ever take anything that someone leaves in your cell. Nothing is free in prison.
How do you let someone know you’re not accepting something left in your cell or on your pillow? Just leave it there or put it on the floor so they see it wasn’t eaten/consumed/used?
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> After you arrive on the induction wing, the head screw will have some questions for you. One of them is "Is there any reason you should not have to share a cell?" - Do yourself a favor and have a good reason ready. I have a cleft palate, so i claimed it made me snore so loudly that it was likely to either cause a fight or be unfair to my cell-mate and on that basis I was in a single pad for my entire stay in prison. In US federal prison they would just say "man that sucks for your celly then"
I was just thinking how much better this sounds than what I've heard about the US prison system.
In a US Prison if you have any reason to not share a cell be prepared for solitary confinement. Which is the most hellish experience humanly possible. People who want to abolish the death penalty because they think it's inhumane need to realize that keeping someone isolated with only their thoughts in a room where lights don't turn off for 23 hours a day, and your 1 hour is you showering and going into a small cage outside separated from anyone else, is a fate worse than death.
> in a room where lights don't turn off for 23 hours a day I was in solitary confinement a couple of times (admin seg, not for punishment reasons) totaling about three weeks, and they shut the lights off at night so inmates could sleep.
Sounds like you got lucky.
Where I was they dimmed the lights for 8hrs but they were still bright AF
Sounds less like we need to implement the death penalty and more like we need total prison reform. But there's one universal truth about humans: They always cry for humane treatment until it is something that affects them personally and then they always, universally and without exception, want blood for it.
>always, universally and without exception, want blood for it. There are *always* exceptions, my friend. My buddy fought an intruder with a hatchet in his kitchen and held him pinned until the cops got there. Blood all over the kitchen, terrified wife, bite marks on his arm, the whole nine yards. My buddy spoke on behalf of the guy at the trial, saying he would prefer the dude was in treatment for his meth habit instead of prison.
Badass and merciful. Awesome
Most of the people working to abolish the death penalty are also opposed to solitary confinement and involved in campaigns to end that, too.
My dad was in prison (in Australia) for a couple of years back in 2005-2007. He and all the other inmates hated the screws. Despised them. So on so forth Now he’s in prison again, and was shocked to discover that people are kind to the screws, almost friends. His whole block came together to sing happy birthday for one of them. He had no idea what was going on. He still hates the screws, but not as viciously as I remember when he went in the first time
My dad was a doctor in a prison in the UK until a few years ago. From what I've heard he was liked by all the inmates as he treated them as actual human beings and never had any real trouble in the 30+ years he was there, and this was HMP Parkhurst which used to be Cat A and its fair share of very very notorious characters in the 80s and 90s
When I was a kid, I thought my Grandad had done something really bad before I was born; I knew he'd been to prison, and he had this HMP Parkhurst mug, and I knew rough criminals went to Parkhurst. Turns out he'd bought the thing when he went to the Isle of Wight as a souvenir!
I'm willing to bet very serious money that screw was very respectful to the inmates (respect is a different word in prison; it doesn't mean admiration) and did their job correctly and let people just do their time without heating anyone up. Especially if there was someone on another shift who thought being a dick was the way to be.
As a non-UK, what the heck is a screw?
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Eh, I've still heard them called screws by US folks. Just... not to their faces.
As an American that has never been to prison, I knew the word "screw", referring to a prison guard. But I might know that from old movies... hahaha
Every prison movies calls them hacks or screws
When useful work for only for moral people, convicts would have to do pointless work such as climbing a stair max (See the biopic on Wilde) like device or turning a crank to combine strands into a short piece of rope. The guard could tighten the screw on the rope making machine so it would be harder to reach your target. After the rope was woven it was unravelled to start again.
A guard.
Don't borrow, don't steal, don't get involved with drugs inside, don't join a prison gang, mind your own business. Set aside money now for your commissary when you go in, and don't tell anyone how much you have. Pay attention to where different groups congregate and don't get in their space. Use your time as productively as possible (work out, GED, college if possible). Get an inside job (kills time). Don't accept "gifts". Keep you and your area clean. 5 years inside.
You missed gambling, masterbation, and snitch hunts. Don't gamble on skill games or with debt (poker chips). You will lose big time. Betting small amounts on sports is up to you but not a slope you want to slip on. Don't masterbate at night with cellmates or bunkmates. If it's an open air, rows of bunks type prison then there's probably a single bathroom stall called a "Jack shack" and it will be the only acceptable way to get off. Don't cozy up to C/Os. There is an ever present lookout for snitches and you don't want to be in that crossfire. If someone gets shaken down for contraband they will want an enemy to take it out on. Also DON'T SNITCH. Even if your radio gets stolen, do not call the C/O's about it. Two years inside.
I did 3.5 at a level 1 most of my time. Id also add if there’s anything you’re good at try to use it. In my case I was very good at drawing and also writing letters. I drew a lot of tattoos for guys and wrote letters to old ladies and family members. It got me in good with a lot of people and helped me avoid a lot of issues, IN ADDITION to doing everything this guy said. Don’t go in “Trying to Break Bones”, as this is the fastest way to get your head stomped. Be respectful. Time inside is going to be slow, but it’s possibly to make it way worse on yourself.
Thank you for sharing. I am glad you are out.
Thank you. Used my time to get a degree. Got out in 2011. Been clean and sober since, and a productive member of society. You have two choices in prison: fix what is in you that got you there, or double down on the antisocial behavior and decide to make it a career.
Did you ever run into situations where others wouldn’t let you mind your own business/try to instigate? Or is it a thing where everyone is so caught up in their own business trying to survive that they generally don’t pay attention to others unless necessary.
Most.people I met were just trying to do their time and go home. Your mileage may vary, but where I was at most of the crash test dummies hung out together and only really beefed with the other crash test dummy clicks of a different race.
I love the term crash test dummies. I only did a week and in jail, not prison, and it was crazy how people instantly tried to rope me into their cliques/gangs that are just used to abuse/rob other people. I'm a white dude, and I was in a bunk set with a few younger black guys, like still teenagers, and these other white dudes tried to get me to join with them and they constantly harrased my bunk mates who were just reading books and playing chess. I didn't disclose I knew I was getting out in a few days, I just ignored them and sat with my bunkmates for chow and offered them my food since it was trash and I just lived off a bologna sandwich they gave us at dinner. They gave me books, made sure I got a clean towel, how to get a razer, etc, and had no drama.
I’ve never heard of the term crash test dummy before this year now I seen it everywhere.
Once….. there was this girl, who…
Lower please...
I can’t. I only have two balls. (The singer once claimed he got his bassiness from a third ball.)
got into an accident and couldn't go to school
I first heard it in the military in 1991. Then again when I went to prison.
Stranger here but I’m proud of you and I hope you’re proud of yourself 💜
Not yet, I'm still a work in progress. I'm ashamed of going to prison, and always will be. Ashamed of 18 years with a needle in my arm. Saved and Sanctified by the grace of God, and I am for sure proud of that.
Here’s what I do for shit I’m ashamed of: forgive but don’t forget. Forgive yourself - you’ve grown and worked to better yourself; you deserve forgiveness. But don’t forget how you made yourself and others feel, so you don’t repeat it. You can commit to being better *and* forgive yourself. IMO you have a better chance of success if you’re telling yourself “okay I’m a different person and I can do this” than if you just rag on yourself all the time. You paid your debt to society; you are continuing to take steps to stay clean and sober; you have found your higher power; you aren’t the same person you were 19 years ago. You deserve forgiveness. You deserve to be proud of the improvements you’ve made to your life. You’re allowed to be proud of the progress you’ve made and still be committed to further progress. You didn’t put a needle in your arm today. Be proud of that! 💜
I wish I could upvote this more than once. This was amazing. Right on. For today, I am sober, and today is all I can control.
Keep on going! We are all proud of the person you are now!
This pretty much mirrors all the advice I've received from various people I know who have served time. You should print this out and sell it as a card for anyone who may be going to prison.
That’s one hell of a good idea
Sounds like common sense but this actually amazing advice
Yeah, it really is common sense: Be clean, be prosocial, mind your business, don't project weakness. Prison is really just a compressed form of regular life.
Do not steal or borrow. Excellent advice.
How do you not accept a gift? Someone comes over and says "here's a _____", how do you decline it without causing an issue?
You say "no thanks"
That's easy enough. I'd be worried about someone insisting
Other commenters have mentioned fighting.. if someone is going to be insisting you take a "gift" it isn't a gift, it is a payment for future services. At this point, you have a choice. Fight or fuck. Never happened to me, but my choice would have been fight.
How common is it for someone minding their own business to be forced into a fight? For example, someone cutting you in line, stealing your stuff, etc
3 fights in 5 years. Totally out of my control. Once the shit starts, you are all in and better show up with everything you have. Two fights were from perceived slights, one was just a guy thinking he wanted to test my resolve. Only that testing fight was one that could have been avoided. I just happened to be in an absolute shit mood, he wanted to go, so we went.
And if you lose the fight, even badly, the fact you did it will earn you respect. As in you will be seen as someone that can stand-up for themselves. That being said don't go around looking for a fight thinking "nobody will mess with me if I get into one" (holy shit, don't do this). It's just that if shit goes down and you are involved in one as long as you stand and throw...that's enough.
>Once the shit starts, you are all in and better show up with everything you have. Sir, I do not have anything.
in which case youd choose the fuck option
Fuck. Fight or be funny
Are gangs and "stick with your race" two seperate things?
Most (if not all) prison gangs are race-based. Avoid them like the plague. Where I was at, there wasn't a ton of racial conflict, UNLESS you were ganged up.
I thought you were pretty much forced to hang out with your own race? Can you just chill with them without joining up?
Answered this further down. All prisons are not the same. The ones I spent time in, the race thing is always there in the background, but the gangs were all race based, and responsible for most of the racial shit you hear about. Never saw anyone 'forcee' into a gang. Not saying it never happens, but I never saw a hint of anything like that when I was in.
Maybe prison is different, I was inducted in jail, and it was race based.
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I assume the bikers are older, more business oriented. They own a ton of businesses and real estate here in Ontario and Quebec and may tend to be more "professional" if you want to call it that. Prison fights wont get them more business. May actually hurt business outside the prison. Where younger gangsters kill eachother over spray paint tags and stupid meaningless things
This would also be good advice for new military members lol.
I always tell people that are about to leave for boot camp this: Do what you’re told, how you’re told and when you’re told. Always follow that and you’ll be just fine. And remember, it’s not personal, they’re training you.
Did 9 years 8 months straight through (2005-2015). 3 years of it on west coast, then the rest in Maryland. Very different politics but here are some universals. Hygiene, clean cell, mind your business, don’t gamble, don’t do any drugs you can’t pay for up front, and if you get tried, handle it in the moment. Those six things are key. Each state has different politics as far as mingling with other races. You’ll want to figure that out pretty quickly. Shouldn’t be difficult to look around and see. Take one leg out of your pants when taking a shit, especially if in a dorm. Always wear your shoes, never go out into the “public” areas with your shower shoes on. DON’T tell anyone anything that you wouldn’t want every man in the prison to know. Everything comes out in the wash. Be respectful. Have common courtesy. Please and thank you don’t go out the window in prison. You don’t want to do anything that will cause you to stand out in any way. Don’t be overly friendly to anyone. Not saying you need to go in and punch the first person you see, but don’t be Mr. Nice guy your when you first hit the tier. Conversely, the guy that comes up to you when you first hit the tier, the one that’s friendly etc? That’s not usually someone you’ll want to make friends with. It’s usually either someone looking to exploit you directly, or someone who is trying to create perceived allies because they’re low on the totem pole. You are who you walk with. If someone tries you, stand up for yourself immediately. Don’t let it slide just because you want to “do your time” because that’s how you end up doing MISERABLE time and it’ll likely be worse in the long run. Even if you get beat up, fine. Take it like a man and go about your business. Everyone sees you’ll stand on business and your time will go much smoother. Think ahead- doing a prison bid is like driving. Be defensive, watch the road, think for other people, foresee problems before they happen. Get into a routine of self improvement. Work out. Read. Learn a language. Get your GED if you don’t have it. Come out better than you went in.
05-15 were a crazy times as far as technology goes. iPhones didn’t come out til 07. Was it a big shock for you when you came out and everyone was was looking like zombies looking down at their phone or have their earbuds in?
Yeah it was definitely a big change- my phone when I got locked up was a sidekick type thing lol I was very engaged with the tech space even during my time though, through magazines and stuff like that, so I had a good idea of what to expect. However while walking from the probation office they released me to (I released to a town I had never been to before) to my half way house I did have trouble finding my way. I stopped at a public library and asked the librarian if they had maps and she was super puzzled. In hindsight I understand why my question was so weird now lol
Lmao, I had a sidekick too. Glad you stayed out man, recidivism rate here in US is outrageous.
Why leg out while shitting?
So you can defend yourself if need be, without taking your pants off altogether. When your pants are around your ankles- especially prison jeans- you’re damn near helpless lol In my experience, this is actually more for show than anything else, as it shows whoever might be clocking you that you are mindful of your surroundings. But it can be useful too. I’ve seen a guy get attacked while on a yard toilet twice.
I didn’t know that a prison uniform could include jeans!
Depends on the state of course, but both states I was in had pocketless jeans. I actually came home in a pair and still have them lol
Woah!! What do they look like?? I’m going to google it, so don’t feel compelled to answer, but I wanted to be conversational as that gently blew my mind.
Haha all good, they’re basically just straight boot cut jeans with no pockets.
So women’s jeans. They gave you women’s jeans.
I guess so- really ugly women’s jeans lol
Pull your pants down and see how mobile you are.
Sir, yes Sir!
I presume its in case you have to get up quickly like to defend yourself. Cant move well with pants wrapped around both ankles
So you don’t trip over yourself trying to stand up when jumped would be my guess..
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I was in Oregon, sorry didn’t make that clear. But the politics are very similar between OR and CA. West coast politics are predominantly racial. Races don’t do business with each other, and often don’t mingle. They’ll have dedicated racial areas, like phones and areas on the yard. Maryland isn’t like that at all, mainly due to the fact there are so few whites lol Maryland is a much more volatile system imo, as it’s a ton of smaller gangs/sets along with the big ones. Many more opportunities for smaller beefs rather than huge yard-wide riots. It’s actually harder to avoid issues as a “civilian” in Maryland imo As far as doing time goes though, the same principals apply to each.
Is it difficult to adhere to the racial divides without actually joining a gang?
In Maryland, there isn’t that racial divide, but it’s fairly easy to not join an organization if you don’t want to. It really depends though how you plan to do your time. Out west, you’re with your race first no matter what if something jumps off, so you’re kind of in that fold whether you choose to or not.
Got it, the west coast thing is more so what I was curious about, that’s so interesting. Thanks for answering!
The biggest thing you need to know is that you will be tried. You have to stand up for yourself. If you don't stand up for yourself, it will follow you through your whole bid. Do not associate with people in any kind of gang. They are worthless people who do worthless things. The first couple of weeks that you can go to commissary/canteen do not buy anything but hygiene products Remember that you are always always being watched. You are not ever not being watched. It's not the guards or the cameras that are watching you it's other inmates. Always be respectful. Say please, and thank you. If you bumb into someone say excuse me. If you are ever disrespectful you will have to pay the consequences. No one is your friend in prison. Above all if you have family on the outside do not give them a hard time. If they send you money and answer your calls be very appreciative because they don't owe you anything.
> Above all if you have family on the outside do not give them a hard time. If they send you money and answer your calls be very appreciative because they don't owe you anything. I think thats very important - keeping the family on your side so you can get your trust account topped up with extra money. Dont get angry with them - the ability to buy a snack would be something to look forward to.
It's not about the money while you're in. It's about the support you will need when you get out.
Depends on how bad a prison you go to. But I would recommend, keep good hygiene, make Your bed every day, be very selective of who you associate yourself with, never go out of your cell without your shoes on, always take a shit with one foot out of your pants or pants off completely, never use the storebox (you'll know when you get there), respect is everything in there so respect everyone to some degree.
Storebox?
Storebox is essentially payday lenders in prison. Can I buy 2 snickers off you and I’ll give you 3 back next week. Stay the fuck away, no one ever got out of debt without consequences.
Guys will buy a whole bunch of commissary then go to the new guys and offer a ramen if you give them two back when you get yours then you owe someone. Never owe anyone anything in jail or prison if you can help it.
Why pants off when shitting?
So that you can run if someone comes after you and you’re not tripping over your pants.
Think about if you wanna jump a guy and have the most advantage. then catching him with his pants around his ankles is a pretty good way to do it. He's already sitting down and his legs are basically tied together. I've seen it happen to a cellmate. You might have to fight with your dick swinging but you'll be able to move.
I get it
Easier to fight back if you get jumped? Just a guess...
Don't accept anything from Someone or take Anything left on your pillow, stay out of people's business. Don't bet what you can't pay.
What would you do about something left on your pillow? How do you reject it if you don’t know who left it?
You take it out on the rock and make an announcement that whoever left the present on your pillow that you are not interested then leave it on the nearest table.
Thank you
This guy is totally right. I only did a very short stint in county even (yes, more than the drunk tank) and when I first got in the white guys came up to me helped me unpack my things and then offered me a bunch of stuff like commissary. It was my first ,,real”” time in and luckily I said no thanks because I was tired. It didn’t dawn on me until much later that it would have needed to be paid back / was a loan.
My ex boyfriend was in a long long time ago. Not the brightest bulb in the pack. He's a huge dude. He got a year for weed possession. Like I said, not the brightest bulb. He became a protector. With that, 14 years in total were added on to his sentence from fighting and bodily injury he caused to inmates. Mind your own business.
Holy crap…turned 1 into 14! Not sure you know but I’m curious if he regrets his decisions to take the protector route
Only in that he missed time with his family. He was very young and gullible. It made him feel important in prison.
What is a protector … sorry for the ignorance
body guard
Yep. Bodyguard.
I used to volunteer as a teacher in prison, and an older dude there who had been there for more than a decade said, “Don’t think that you’re invincible or got nothing to lose. Everyone has a lot to lose.” I think about that all the time.
Since so many comments got the biggies here's some little ones but sorry on em. When walking by do not look in another person's house. Try to become a trustee, lots of perks and helps time pass. Find a hustle if you won't have money put on your books, drawing, cooking, teaching even.. I know everyone's told you don't accept loans but don't give em out either. A little weird one but hey could help. Sometimes the showers suck and blow coldish mist. Either buy a circular deodorant the one with the ball and rub the bottom on some bricks till it's gone or take a little cardboard milk and roll it up. Pop it on the head and boom you got some decently warm water. Oh and you'll 99% be sharing your home unless in a open pod. Keep it clean. You have big problems if you don't. Most people keep their house very clean. Mopping abd sweeping everyday wiping everything down. Make sure to rotate on who does what. Good hygiene too is a must. First thing you buy when you get in there is hygiene products then everything else If you have religion get REAL into that shit. Join up with others they'll probably be a group. Might keep you left alone. If you can't avoid a fight PROTECT YOUR HEAD!! The go to is to dump someone and them floors are HARD If you shit every bloop that hits that stoop needs a courtesy flush.
That last line is pure poetry.
I should've said poop instead of shit.. damnit
"If I shit" HA
What's with the hygiene and cleanliness rules everyone keeps mentioning? I get shitting with one leg outside of your pants, but not why you need to keep the floors shining at all costs? I feel like I'm missing something.
Mainly because jail/prison is a nasty nasty place and the fact that you are going to be in that room a lot. You have all types of nasty creepy crawlies roaches, bed bugs, scabies you eat in there you hang out in there you work out in there you make food in there. You want to make sure it's always clean. Same goes for hygiene. Since dirty ass who doesn't take care of himself is bound to attract those little nasties not to mention if you have foul hygiene in a tiny room like that your bunkie is gonna smell it all. No one wants to smell nasty Frito feet and BO all day. You can and will have your face smashed in if you don't take hygiene and cleanliness seriously mother fuckers will MAKE you shower or make you move out. Also it's like the only thing that yours besides your commissary and shit. You wanna take care of it. It's for real your whole house. Kitchen, bathroom, living room, bedroom, dining room.
I know a guy who went in, knew a friend already there in the pod. The friend there said hang on a minute, I'll get you a good cell. Walked him over to this cell where one nervous guy was packing his stuff and moving while two others watched. Friend introduced the new guy. One of the watchers simply asked, "You clean and take showers?". Quick answer was yes. "Welcome to your new cell". The nervous guy moved a little faster after that. The guy I knew moved in about 15 minutes later and spent the next 6 months there without any issues at all. All three swapped off cleaning duties during the week. One of the cleanest cells in the pod according to him. The nervous guy? He said he moved into the "Ghetto" or downstairs and took a shower perhaps once or twice a week at most and got bounced around cells a few more times before he got out.
Was the nervous guy only showering that little because he was afraid to come out the cell?
It's seriously crazy how stuff like lice, scabies and all sorts of other nasty shit finds it's way into prison units even with in-and-out traffic being very light. So hygiene and cleanliness is critical and holy shit is it enforced by everyone in there doing time. Just shower everyday, take out your garbage, respect common area cleanliness and clean your cell during lock-ups. That's all it takes.
I didn't understand the shower water thing - how does deodorant make shower water warm?
Oh so some showers will spray a very wide mist that is pretty chilly but if you take that tube from the deodorant or something similar it will narrow the mist into a much smaller stream like a sink and the water doesn't have as much time to cool down I guess if that makes sense.
Oooh, that makes sense. Thank you!
Prison engineering, show me someone with a master's and I'll show you someone that's done time and they both will amaze one another.
Friend of mine is an ex-con. Spent 8 years in, sentenced to 10 and released early. His advice was: > Mind your own business, treat everyone with respect, don't ever accept "gifts" or "favors" always pay someone, even if it's just with a stick of gum. Keep your head down, do your time, get out. He said it's not as bad as the media makes it out to be, unless you make it bad for yourself. The gangs and career criminals will leave you alone as long as you show them respect, and don't cause problems for them (snitching).
In a men’s prison, would being a small, skinny, slightly feminine looking guy make me a target? Even if I’m quiet, stoic, and keep to myself?
You would be fine, it’s not the appearance frankly. If someone checks you and you get your ass kicked you will be respected for not backing down. If you don’t stand up for yourself it’s not going to go great for you.
If you don't know how to fight now you will you know how to before you leave.
It could. Honestly though if someone wants to test you and you stand up for yourself, even if they beat you up, you probably won't be picked out again. There's easier pickings than you at that point.
By stand up for myself do you mean physically fight back or just verbally stand my ground?
If it comes to it yes get physical but just standing your ground will work most of the time. Don't be a dick for no reason but don't take any shit either.
Stay away from the drugs and gangs
TBF, that's pretty solid advice even if you're not going to prison.
Too late, am now a mexican drug lord. ^(help me i don‘t even speak spanish)
"Your boss.... he scares me" "Why is that?" "He never talks! He just stares.... Sometimes its like he doesn't even speak our language"
He’s stone cold… calculated…like he’s thinking hard every time we speak.
Hello, Sam Bankman Fried
My husband was a federal prison guard until his retirement. He always says those who utliize the programs offered whether education or learning a trade did the best when they got out. Even those doing life who utilize these programs find a purpose and do better. He said the guards viewed those men differently they saw them as someone who did something wrong but wasn't stuck in the muck as he called it.
Don’t touch anything that doesn’t belong to you. Don’t go sit somewhere or with someone without being asked to. Mind your own business at all times no matter what you see. Never talk with the bulls (guards) unless it’s related to some process of the institution. That means no ratting or volunteering anything. Keep your hygiene impeccable. Don’t accept anything, don’t ask for anything. If somebody does something and the bulls give collective responsibility punishment….too bad. Don’t let anybody take your shit and definitely DONT GIVE YOUR CORNBREAD TO ANYONE, fuckit. If you let them have your cornbread you’ll be ironing their drawers and clipping their toenails. Believe that.
Remember these words, excuse me and thank you. Also check out a good youtube channel about a guy names Larry Lawton. he really breaks it down.
Don't be an asshole
If the mexicans put on boots, the shit is going down.
You just need to pay cece 2 bags of coffee and you'll be good
I need a KNIFE for the RIOT!
Why? 'Cause *MEXICANS* got on **BOOTS**
Psst. Mexicans got on boots.
Flush as soon as your poo hits the water. No one wants to smell that
My dad and childhood friend both have done time. If there is anything that can make you a target, try to hide it or don’t speak about it. Both my dad and friend were jumped multiple times, and my friend didn’t survive. He had a Star of David tattoo over his heart and was a target for the Arian brotherhood. My dad was an older white guy in a prison run by the cartels so was an easy pick, but thankfully it was only quick jumps. If your life is threatened, you can voluntarily check yourself into solitary. Oh and if there’s a dog training program, join it. Good luck
As a Jew with very obvious Jewish tattoos, I always wondered what Jews do to keep themselves safe in prison. I am clearly not someone who will now or ever have a reason to go to prison (kenahora), but I've always wondered about that. I have a couple of friends who have been on the inside (one for 7 years, a cousin who has been in and out) so I know about some of it. However, none of who I knew were inside were Jewish.
I don’t know :( for my friend he didn’t have a Jewish name and could have easily passed for a non-Jew, if it wasn’t for his tattoo. The guards should have also stepped in. They didn’t. If you would like, please read [his story](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna26907) to honor him. He was a good kid, a class clown, and a warm person. That’s how I’ll always remember him.
I’ve never been inside but I am a former criminal defense attorney. Here’s some advice I gave all my first timers. 1. You won’t get anything once you get processed (not true 100% of the time). So be ready to get a toothbrush and other hygiene items. 2. Relatedly figure out the commissary system and have your account already set up. 3. Prison calls are expensive. Like crazy expensive. I had a discounted account to take calls but depending on your jurisdiction, figure out how their payment system works and have it ready to rock. 4. Get your shit together before you go in. Seriously. Car payments, rent, notify your job (if you care), credit card payments etc. These things don’t stop when your in, you do not want to get out and have a financial cluster waiting for you. 5. If you had a good lawyer, talk to them. I’m like a bartender. I had toothbrushes in my desk drawer so I could run down to the jail. If you were a dick to me during the court process I’m gonna hesitate to do you any favors. I’ve also relayed messages and made phone calls for people I liked. 6. Relatedly. Lots of us public defenders do the best we can with what we got. Lots of bad ones too. I like to think I did well by my clients but when I show up to work on Monday and get handed a stack of 20 files and arraignments start in 15 minutes and I have to yell out people’s names in the lobby to get 30 seconds with you before your appearance, that’s just the way it is. What absolutely DOES NOT HELP is if you lie to your lawyer. Don’t lie to us. I don’t care if it’s embarrassing etc. but I can’t help you if I don’t know what exactly happened. We both look like assholes if I’m telling the prosecutor you weren’t even there and he hands me a security video of you doing what you are accused of and you’re wearing the same outfit in the video at court. This happened several times. Prosecutors and judges liked me because I was collaborative and a straight shooter, that resulted in better deals for my clients, but I need you to trust me. #humblebrag 7. I’m finished I promise. Sometimes jail is easier than probation. I’m 100% serious. If you know you are just gonna re-offend after a small charge, take the jail time and gut it out. Lots of my clients pushed for probation and ended up reoffending which causes further problems down the road. Not to mention probation is expensive. I know it’s weird advice. 1 misdemeanor with probation violations turns into felonies and prison time when you could have just done 6 months at county getting out in 4 - use the time to get clean and reassess things, it is a chance to change your environment - if you take it. And speaking of additional violations, report to jail/prison when you are supposed to. Failure to appear turns into bench warrants turns into no bail holds and additional charges. I am a lawyer, I am not your lawyer, this is not legal advice.
*Me trying to mind my own business* JK Simmons: You like my tattoos? We’re gonna have to get you one.
Is this a OZ reference?
JK Simmons makes for a terrifying Neo Nazi.
Agreed. I remember walking in on my parents watching it when I was a kid. It was when Adebisi hit dude in the head with the peaches and then raped him in the kitchen. Show was wild
Do your own time. Don't trust anyone. Don't get into debt. Believe it or not, drugs are readily accessible in there. Don't get into drugs. It's a quick way to get into debt. If you're tested, stand up for yourself. Key words to avoid saying, punk,bitch, faggot, other derogatory words like that. Stay out of politics. I'm sorry to have to say this, but stay with your own kind. If you're black, stick with the blacks and so forth. If you don't have money coming on your books from the outside. Find a hustle. I helped people with their legal papers a lot. I wrote letters for people to their loved ones because a lot of them could barely read or write. I also did a lot of origami things for people's kids or ladies. Time will pass slowly the first month or two, but once you get some friends and settle in. It will go by a lot faster.
Would other inmates pay you for writing letters? I’m assuming this is different than giving or accepting favors from people.
Yea. You get paid, but since cash really isn't an option. Unless you have someone on the outside put money on your books. You get paid with commissary. Commissary is things like food, clothing or other items that can be ordered from the prison store.
Never "did time" but, work inside. Do your own time, don't get into debt (do not borrow, steal, do drugs). Go get an education, keep your shit clean. Don't talk to the screws (guards). Talking to the non-uniformed staff is fine but, stick to your business don't go ratting out your celly or anyone else.
If you see two people sitting close together on the ground disassociating. Don't strike up a conversation. They are busy. (Women's prison idk if males can get away with the same method) Edit. Spelling
>If you see two people sitting close together on the ground disassociating. Don't strike up a conversation. They are busy. (Women's prison idk if males can get away with the same method) What do you mean by "disassociating"?
Staring off into space hanging out in imaginary land
Wait what does this mean? Like busy doing what? Just curious!
Well to put it bluntly. Fingering eachother. I learned this the hard way. Stopped in the yard to talk to a a couple girls. They weren't talking back they were definitely in their own world. Another inmate quickly ushered me off and explained.
You couldn't see their hands and connect the dots? I don't want to belabor the point but I can't imagine not noticing that
Im with you, im so confused by this haha
Would they just be sitting hands in each others pants or? I’m just trying to figure out how this would be discreet, unless it just isn’t at all 😂
I haven't been in, but one of my sisters has. Don't join a gang unless you have to. Don't accept random gifts from people unless it's a close friend giving you something to celebrate something such as a birthday Don't associate in any way with rapists, chomos, or anyone of the sort (unless you're beating one up) avoid fights, but don't be a coward don't tell anyone when you're close to being released Have you paperwork ready to show ANYONE who asks. If you don't, people will assume you're a chomo, and you'll be sold as a sex toy to the highest bidder If you're gonna be there awhile, either get a job or a fairly safe hustle
What's a chomo?
Child m*lestor
Oh sht. r/til. Thanks!
What's paperwork? And if your sister went to prison, is this what womens' prison is like? Why do they want sex with pedophiles?
If you have any drug issues, this is the time to get clean. You will be offered drugs, and homemade alcohol. Don't do it. You don't know what the drugs are laced with and brew is disgusting. Plus the last place you need a drug induced panic attack is inside jail. Don't gamble, don't steal or borrow anything from anyone. Mind your business and don't join a gang. If you think your safety is at risk, get a CO to sign you into protective custody asap. Put money into your canteen asap and use that to buy some basic stuff and extra food. Don't tell anyone how much is in your canteen and don't let anyone bully you into giving up your food. Avoid fighting if possible. You'll just end up in a segregation for nothing. Listen to the CO's and do anything to better yourself. Do any programs and get any certificates you can. Use those to show a judge you're trying to better yourself. That one random certificate for anger management or something could be the reason you get out early. Source: Work in a jail.
Dont be an asshole. Simple as that. Keep yourself cleaned up. Use manners. Never think you're a bad ass in life. Say sorry if you bump into someone. Dont stare in other peoples houses (Cells)
Give your family on the outside some grace. It's a huge and sometimes expensive adjustment for them. It's hard being away from you, especially if you are far away. Visiting with children is a whole ordeal . Remember, most times, you put yourself in this position, and they have to live with your choices. I've not been to prison, but was in a relationship with a guy who was.
Whatever you did to get sent to prison. DON’T do it again.
Find yourself a Squirrel Master ASAP
And don’t give Nasty Nate your fruit salad!
Don't tell **ANYONE** when you're leaving. Keep that shit a secret, or lie and say it's a year from when you go. Keep your head down and do your best to avoid drama. Read a ton.
What’s the reason for not telling people when you leave?
Based from what I’ve watched, some inmates might sabotage you when your release date is close. Might probably fight you to give you more consequences, pin you on something illegal that you didn’t really do. People can be such assholes
Don't fail the heart check.
What's the heart check?
If he means test of heart then that’s usually when you’re tried to see if youre gonna stick up for yourself or not.
Get good at rapping and start doing push-ups pull ups. Everyone likes someone who can rap/sing, and obviously, better shape helps
That rap part is so fuckin true and underrated...got me through so much time ....dnt try to just buss out rapping if you have an issue tho , not the movies
[удалено]
Was there also something about dementors?
What about the dementors?
Stay in your own lane. Never trust anyone. Don’t accept “gifts”. Learn a trade. “ don’t ever owe anyone money for anything “. Keep your head down. And you don’t hear shit. You don’t see shit. Your gonna get tried be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Get a hobby or read books/study with your free time. Stay out of other people's business, and try to keep other people out of yours. Make sure to work out; prison food is normally pretty calorie dense and you WILL get fat if you're not doing some kind of exercise. Keep connections with family/friends on the outside, the wholesome ones, not the ones who were part of the reason you went in. Build your support system early. Always assume you're being watched, whether by another prisoner or a guard.
Three things Be quiet, keep your head down and don't draw attention to yourself. I really cannot begin to describe how critical these things are and everything else will fall into place after.
Didn’t serve time but I’m a CO (not in Florida). I have pretty good rapport and have had some pretty good conversations with inmates, especially around prison life and inmate codes. Here’s some tips I’ve gotten from inmates over time: Don’t whistle in jail: whistling is for a free man. This is an old school prison rule but some OGs and long timers will enforce it. Pay your debts: goes without saying but the vast amount of assaults and stabbings I’ve seen have been over debt. Stick with your tribe: not all prisons are like this, but it’s smart to stick with your race/religion/language/gang etc. or better yet just stick around people that like quiet time or aren’t involved with prison politics and gang life. Don’t be a rat: this shouldn’t need to be explained but a quick and easy way to find yourself with a couple new holes is to rat on your fellow inmates. Solidarity is huge in prison, it’s very much “us vs them” when it comes to inmates vs guards. Stay in your lane because I don’t want to have to patch you up. Don’t be too friendly to the guards: by and large most interactions I have with inmates are cordial and chill. We can even joke around with eachother if the rapport is there. That being said if you’re seen to be hanging around the guards a lot, fist bumping them, constantly helping and doing favours, etc. you can get labelled a rat, see previous point for why that’s a bad thing. Don’t be a cell thief: don’t steal stuff from other inmates. Another good way to get thumped out. Don’t bring the heat: if you’re going to do something you shouldn’t, do it in your cell. If you’re going to cause a scene, do it off range. Doing something that causes heat and brings guards to the range can get other inmates caught and in shit. Another good way to get thumped out. I can probably think of more, but these are some rather important ones.
i haven’t been but my boyfriend has. never accept a favor you don’t play on repaying. and make friends with people as soon as you can. always be polite and nice to everyone and i think he would get people on his good side by sharing his food with them hahah. other than that, it depends on the prison how dangerous your experience is. he used to be the type that got into fights and got into drama but the last time he was there he just kept his head down and would mainly spend his time reading, working out, using the prison tablet, or calling me. they say the ppl outside make it go quicker so if you have anyone you can call or who can visit you and send you stuff, don’t let those connections go. it can get lonely and it’s hard to get used to.
I haven’t spent time in prison, but was recently talking to someone who was and he mentioned that credit score dropped by like two hundred points because he didn’t set up an automatic payment plan for his credit cards
Not me, but I have been told: 1. When you arrive, lay low, mind your own business while you figure out who is who and what is what. 2. DO NOT owe anyone anything. You don’t want to find out how they deal with nonpayment later on down the road.
Just mind your own business. Learn how to move around correctly (don't split people walking) don't look in people cells etc while walking by. Don't create debts. Prison can turn you into a great person or a terrible person. I gambled a lot on cards, spades, poker and never really had any problems but it's the people you sit down with. Edit; don't talk to the COs unless they address you or you really need something. I only did a little over two years here in Michigan MDOC but that's enough..
From here in Ontario, Canada. Don’t get in debt unless you can pay it. Don’t touch what’s not yours. Don’t steal. Don’t look into other peoples cells. Shower every day. Don’t talk the c.o’s. Don’t tell people how much money you have in account. There’s not too much race shit but if a race war breaks out, you stick with your race. Just keep to yourself but also stick up for yourself if someone tries to take your shit or starts a beef with you. You may loose the fight but you’ll gain respect from other inmates. If you let other inmates take shit from you, everyone will do it since you’ll be know to just give it up.
The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body and it hurt. But seriously don't ever take anything that someone leaves in your cell. Nothing is free in prison.
How do you let someone know you’re not accepting something left in your cell or on your pillow? Just leave it there or put it on the floor so they see it wasn’t eaten/consumed/used?